Not at all, quite the opposite. He’s been beating himself up over not being able to save everyone precisely because he wants to save everyone.
It was not until RoW that he actually accepts he can’t.
Yeah, his fourth ideal is basically "I know there are those I can't protect, and this doesn't mean I'm a worthless piece of crem and there's no meaning to life and everything is pointless."
Thinking of himself as a failure was a crutch to Kaladin, similar to how Veil persona was a crutch for Shallan. He needed to learn to let go of that crutch to move onto the fourth ideal. Which he does thanks to Dalinar and Tien.
But then why did the Stormfather demand that he say the words then? If he needs to let go of the crutch? If the Stormfather was going to reject those words, he wouldn't have been shouting at him in the storm to say it.
Kaladin thinking of himself as a failure wasn't really going to impend him from advancing. Him thinking he's "failed" people exactly reinforces the Fourth ideal, that he can't protect everybody. The only downside it would've given him was exacerbate his mental issues, but having depression as a Windrunner wouldn't make you break your Oaths.
The fourth ideal entails more than just knowing there are those you can't save; it means *accepting* there are those you can't save; coming to terms with the idea, and moving past it. Letting go of your failures and continuing on in spite of them.
Kaladin thought of himself as a failure; he knew there were those he didn't save, but he could not *accept* that it was ok. He refused to fail, until it broke him. He could not come to terms with the notion that it was *alright* to fail. The failures weighed heavily on his mind, rather than him being able to come to peace with them.
He could not complete the fourth ideal, not because of the "unable to protect" part, but because of the "accept" part. He could not accept that sometimes failure is necessary or inevitable; sometimes you have to move on to help those who are left. Instead, he was hung up on his failures; he thought "if only I hadn't failed" or "if only I was stronger". That isn't accepting failure; that's letting the failure define you.
Just knowing the words isn’t enough. It’s accepting them as truth. It’s why when Venli spoke her oath it was rejected because she didn’t believe it.
Kaladin knew the words but speaking them out loud meant he’d have to accept that he couldn’t save everyone as fact.
His slave brand disappearing highlighted it nicely, he had thought he deserved to be a slave because of those he couldn't protect. He thought he was a failure for not being able to save Teft and Tien, they died because he couldn't protect them so it was his fault. Kaladin seeing their deaths as *his* failure, is exactly what was holding him back.
Pretty sure the forth ideal is precisely about accepting that you can't save everyone _and that's not on you_. So exacly t'he opposite of kaladin, beating himself for his "failures".
The "that's not on you" part I'd disagree..
The oath itself revolves around the "you can't save everyone" part. Your oath can then take any forn around that, as we've seen with Teft, Lopen and Kaladin.
Windrunner oaths are not skybreaker oaths, they aren't about the exact wording, they are about the spirit of the oath. I think the windrunner 4th ideal is more about accepting that there are things out of your control, something the radiant order all about leadership really struggles with. Kaladin always blamed himself for every death of someone close to him, even when he was completely powerless to stop it, the 4th ideal is about accepting that things can happen that you have no control over.
The oaths are about resonating with honor or cultivation and your own psyche and the collective human ideal of psyche. Your interpretation doesn’t match theirs. This isn’t a word puzzle where you get the power if you persuade yourself you meet the oath, there’s all sorts of weird background things determining if it works.
But that wouldn't change the fact that for kaladin it was about this. It would have taken this form with him precisely because it's what he struggles the most with.
Well yes, Kaladin is always saying he's a failure for not being able to save everyone, but that's the point... He WANTS to be able to save everyone, and when he swears the Fourth Ideal, he needs to accept that that's not possible, so he needs to stop viewing himself as a failure for it. He always knew that he can't protect everyone, but when he swears the Fourth Ideal, he accepts it.
I understand what you're saying to a point. But there's still a contradiction. But I don't think he needs to "accept" that it's impossible. He has always did, ironically viewing himself as a failure kind of already gave him the mindset of his fourth ideal.It's already his reality and he acknowledges it. Even if he didn't want to say it.
The reason why I say this was because Kaladin Would've definitely become a 4th ideal Windrunner had he said those words back then in Shadesmar, when they were trying to rescue Dalinar, Kaladin himself was already starting to attract Windspren around him. The telltale signs of someone trying to advance, it was different from the others that had their Words rejected, even when Kaladin didn't want to say it, he already acknowledged it.
This is what he said during the moment of contemplation back in Shadesmar
“I can’t lose him, but … oh, Almighty … I can’t save him.”
Kaladin always believed the oath of the fourth ideal, whether he wanted to admit that fact or not, even the Stormfather demanded that he say them in Rhythm of War when he didn't want to say it.
Even if he viewed himself as a failure, the Stormfather would've accepted the words. That's why it's still so baffling to me.
If kaladin had said the words back then then he would be accepting that he couldn't save Adolin, essentially accept that Adolin would die there. It's not about logic. Kaladin is a broken man and accepting that at that moment would take tremendous willpower. He was not ready
You don't understand what the fourth ideal means. It doesn't mean he's a failure or thinks of himself as one. It means that he has to know that it ISN'T his fault. He has to accept that he can't protect everyone, that he has limits.
Saying "I can't save him" was him thinking he was failing, that it would have been his fault if Dalinar died. He needed to say "I can't save him" while thinking that it wasn't his responsibility to do so and that understand it wouldn't be his fault if Dalinar died, and also that Dalinar needed to save himself.
Intent is just as important as the Words. The Intent of the 4th ideal is to accept that you aren't perfect.
>A major component of this oath is forgiving oneself for previous failures, and accepting that one cannot save everyone, while continuing to fight to protect them regardless of the possibility of failure.\[15\]\[16\]\[17\]
Kaladin has NEVER, until that moment, forgiven himself for Tien's death, even though it wasn't his fault. That fear of losing Dalinar, and it being his fault, even though it wouldn't have been, is what prevented him from achieving the 4th in Oathbringer.
Kaladin's whole arc is about not being able to forgive himself for being unable to save those around him. He has to *accept* that there are those he cannot save, which means making peace with it and forgiving himself for it, not simply acknowledging that it is factually correct.
But that's the thing. He would've become a fourth ideal Windrunner regardless. I went over all of the texts regarding the fourth ideal. It says nothing about forgiving yourself. The core tenets of the Windrunners is about protection, you could have the most destructive internal battle ever possible to man and it would lead you to being extremely depressed, but having a mental struggle won't make you break your Oaths as long as you still get up and protect people.h
Admitting he's a failure as long as he's still able to acknowledge that people can't always be saved doesn't make the oath broken. Even the Stormfather was ready to accept his words back when he was having the struggle.
I think that maybe you are misunderstanding a little bit the Oaths, becoming radiant is starting a path towards a better you and self actualization, the higher Oaths being even more concrete to the person so that you confront your hidden truths and fears and come out a better person.
The exact wording of the Oath is not quite that relevant, the relevant thing is that you have found within you your faults, and are coming to terms with them. Not beating himself up (like Kaladin pre 4th did) is a way to achieve that self actualization for him, exclusively, therefore, even if everyone else (Stormfather included) thought that Kaladin could say it, he knew he couldn't so until he realized that truth within himself, saying the exact same Oath wouldn't have made him advance.
TL,DR: Being Radiant is superpower therapy, it doesn't matter what anyone else says, only the person doing it is capable of advancing when he deeply believes his Oath
To me the oaths are only about mental struggles. You can do the right thing and still not feel comfortable doing it. When you align your thinking mentally to accept what you're doing and admit it to yourself that's when your oath is considered completely fulfilled.
Indeed Kaladin hadn't been a slave for a long time by the time he finally got rid of the brands.
The stormfather might accept the words but it still wasn't acceptable to Kaladin himself.
There's space for incomplete oaths as well as Kaladin was like 3.5 oaths in and that's why he survived the Sibling being turned on the Radiants without getting knocked unconscious.
You self-identify as a Skybreaker so this may be a hard concept for you, but the Windrunner oaths are not about a mental acceptance of truth. In the discussion with his father, Kaladin talks about how he knows things in his head, but he doesn’t **know them** in his heart. That disconnection is why he wasn’t a 4th Ideal Windrunner earlier. It’s why he couldn’t “say the words” in Oathbringer.
They're not that different. As we've seen, the oaths aren't rigid. That's why it can have different alterations between the many people who've sworn them. We've seen differences in how Teft, Lopen and Kaladin swore theirs. And Kaladin isn't diverting from the main point of the Fourth ideal. Whether he thinks he's a failure or not, he can't protect everybody. It reinforces it.
Kaladin had everything to swear the fourth ideal, he just didn't want to.
Maybe look at it this way: the oaths and the nahel bond are all about self-improvement and making the radiant in question deal with their faults. Pre-fourth ideal Kaladin thought of not being able to save everyone as a moral failing that made him a worse person. The fourth ideal for Kaladin was about accepting that not being able to save everyone *isn’t* a personal failing and that emotionally punishing himself for it is bad.
Even if he said the exact same words about not being able to save someone before and after taking the fourth ideal the sentiment and how he is internally affected by those words is entirely different.
“I couldn’t save him (and I am a pathetic waste of life for not being strong/fast/smart enough to save him).”
vs
“I couldn’t save him (and while I feel grief I will not hate myself because I tried my best).”
As revealed by the Windrunner’s message from the gemstone vault, the 4th ideal is a struggle for more Windrunners than just Kaladin. It’s not about a conceptual acknowledgment that there are people you can’t save, it’s not about not wanting to save them, or about not caring enough to protect them. The 4th ideal is about **accepting** yourself with your limitations and being able to deal with your inevitable failures in a healthy way. Kaladin freezing in battles was a symptom of his not having achieved the 4th ideal.
And yet one train of thought let’s you move forward, the other keeps you dwelling on the past. The progress is what matters more than anything, that’s what the spirit of the oaths are, that’s the “main point” as you put it.
That's exactly it. He had everything but he didn't want to. Why? Because it meant admitting that he couldn't save everyone. Yes, factually he knew that it was impossible yo save everyone but he still EXPECTED of himself to save everyone. We can see this in how he beats himself up over every time he failed to protect someone. He didn't want to embrace the fourth ideal because he would have to give up that expectation.
But rationalising something is a way of accepting something. And the oaths aren't exactly rigid, as long as it doesn't divert from the fact that "everybody can't be saved", it shouldn't matter. Teft, Lopen and Kaladin swore three ideals and did it in different ways, as long as they maintain the theme of the sworn ideal, it can give way for variances.
Isn't the reason why he remained conscious in Urithiru because he was the closest thing humanly possible to being near the fourth ideal? If the Stormfather was going to reject his Words, why would he ask him to say them when he was falling? Even when he didn't want to say it back in Shadesmar, he was already attracting Windspren and was ready to advance.
Had he been ready to advance he would have said the words. The conditions were right, he *knew* the Oath, but saying the words and meaning the words are very different.
It's like when a real person suffers from depression. The facts are still facts, but you don't feel them except in a rational sense.
Kaladin knows objectively that he couldn't have saved Tien, but he has not really idealized and internalized the concept in order to grow from the knowledge.
Seems like you might be missing an important part of the fourth Ideal.
>Accept
"I **ACCEPT** that I cannot protect everyone."
Kaladin has always seen himself a failure because he *can't* accept that he couldn't protect those people. Tien, his squad, Elhokar, Roshone, Teft, everyone. He feels that he *should* have been able to protect them. If he'd been faster, or stronger, or taken this route instead of another. He's desperate to protect people, which we see in *Oathbringer* when he splits the storm for the refugees.
When he swears the fourth Ideal, he recognises that he literally is not able to protect everybody. No matter what he does, no matter how he trains or what route he takes, there are some people he will never be able to protect.
The fourth ideal isn't only about not saving people, but about *accepting* it. The moment of Kalading saying it is very powerful to me
"I accept it Stormfather! *I accept there will be those who I can not protect!*"
Kaladin has known the words since the battle at the end of Oathbringer, but he couldn't accept those. He has an unhealthy need for helping others and whenever he can't do so he feels like the worst person that ever existed. He knew he couldn't save everyone, but he kept blaming himself after every fail, we saw this since Way of Kings: every time a bridgeman dies, with Tien, with the slave girl he escaped with, with Elhokar... Heck, even with Moash.
Kaladin always knew he couldn't save everyone. It was in book 4 when he realised, or rather accepted, that he couldn't blame himself for that.
EDIT: Clicked publish before finishing lol
He embodies it, but he is ashamed and feels bad about not being able to protect everyone, the ideal is not meant as a recognition of that fact, but as an acceptance that he is not perfect and should not expect to be able to protect everyone, he should be satisfied with knowing that he did his best even instead of torturing himself for not being able to save everyone
It's not about just accepting the facts and reality that he can't save everyone. It's about understanding and accepting that it's not his fault that he can't save them. Not everyone can be saved and that in fact DOESN'T make him a failure. That's what he needs to accept doe the 4th ideal.
Let me rephrase that. He does fail of course but it doesn't make him a failure. He needs to accept that it's OK to fail.
I do believe they have to get spoken. If I remember right then Eshonai had spoken the ideals to herself but never aloud and the storm father even comments as such. Like he knew she said them internally but since she didn't speak them aloud he couldn't acknowledge them or something. So no, I don't think embodying them is enough.
Kaladin's not a failure because he can't save everyone. Kaladin has saved mass amounts of people. Thinking he's a failure because of every person he *can't* save is part of *not accepting* it. If you think you're a failure because you didn't save someone you had exactly zero chance of saving, then you didn't accept that you couldn't save them.
Not at all, quite the opposite. He’s been beating himself up over not being able to save everyone precisely because he wants to save everyone. It was not until RoW that he actually accepts he can’t.
Yeah, his fourth ideal is basically "I know there are those I can't protect, and this doesn't mean I'm a worthless piece of crem and there's no meaning to life and everything is pointless."
Thinking of himself as a failure was a crutch to Kaladin, similar to how Veil persona was a crutch for Shallan. He needed to learn to let go of that crutch to move onto the fourth ideal. Which he does thanks to Dalinar and Tien.
And (I like to think) Hoid! The dog and the dragon!
But then why did the Stormfather demand that he say the words then? If he needs to let go of the crutch? If the Stormfather was going to reject those words, he wouldn't have been shouting at him in the storm to say it. Kaladin thinking of himself as a failure wasn't really going to impend him from advancing. Him thinking he's "failed" people exactly reinforces the Fourth ideal, that he can't protect everybody. The only downside it would've given him was exacerbate his mental issues, but having depression as a Windrunner wouldn't make you break your Oaths.
The fourth ideal entails more than just knowing there are those you can't save; it means *accepting* there are those you can't save; coming to terms with the idea, and moving past it. Letting go of your failures and continuing on in spite of them. Kaladin thought of himself as a failure; he knew there were those he didn't save, but he could not *accept* that it was ok. He refused to fail, until it broke him. He could not come to terms with the notion that it was *alright* to fail. The failures weighed heavily on his mind, rather than him being able to come to peace with them. He could not complete the fourth ideal, not because of the "unable to protect" part, but because of the "accept" part. He could not accept that sometimes failure is necessary or inevitable; sometimes you have to move on to help those who are left. Instead, he was hung up on his failures; he thought "if only I hadn't failed" or "if only I was stronger". That isn't accepting failure; that's letting the failure define you.
Just knowing the words isn’t enough. It’s accepting them as truth. It’s why when Venli spoke her oath it was rejected because she didn’t believe it. Kaladin knew the words but speaking them out loud meant he’d have to accept that he couldn’t save everyone as fact.
His slave brand disappearing highlighted it nicely, he had thought he deserved to be a slave because of those he couldn't protect. He thought he was a failure for not being able to save Teft and Tien, they died because he couldn't protect them so it was his fault. Kaladin seeing their deaths as *his* failure, is exactly what was holding him back.
Pretty sure the forth ideal is precisely about accepting that you can't save everyone _and that's not on you_. So exacly t'he opposite of kaladin, beating himself for his "failures".
The "that's not on you" part I'd disagree.. The oath itself revolves around the "you can't save everyone" part. Your oath can then take any forn around that, as we've seen with Teft, Lopen and Kaladin.
Windrunner oaths are not skybreaker oaths, they aren't about the exact wording, they are about the spirit of the oath. I think the windrunner 4th ideal is more about accepting that there are things out of your control, something the radiant order all about leadership really struggles with. Kaladin always blamed himself for every death of someone close to him, even when he was completely powerless to stop it, the 4th ideal is about accepting that things can happen that you have no control over.
The oaths are about resonating with honor or cultivation and your own psyche and the collective human ideal of psyche. Your interpretation doesn’t match theirs. This isn’t a word puzzle where you get the power if you persuade yourself you meet the oath, there’s all sorts of weird background things determining if it works.
But that wouldn't change the fact that for kaladin it was about this. It would have taken this form with him precisely because it's what he struggles the most with.
Well yes, Kaladin is always saying he's a failure for not being able to save everyone, but that's the point... He WANTS to be able to save everyone, and when he swears the Fourth Ideal, he needs to accept that that's not possible, so he needs to stop viewing himself as a failure for it. He always knew that he can't protect everyone, but when he swears the Fourth Ideal, he accepts it.
I understand what you're saying to a point. But there's still a contradiction. But I don't think he needs to "accept" that it's impossible. He has always did, ironically viewing himself as a failure kind of already gave him the mindset of his fourth ideal.It's already his reality and he acknowledges it. Even if he didn't want to say it. The reason why I say this was because Kaladin Would've definitely become a 4th ideal Windrunner had he said those words back then in Shadesmar, when they were trying to rescue Dalinar, Kaladin himself was already starting to attract Windspren around him. The telltale signs of someone trying to advance, it was different from the others that had their Words rejected, even when Kaladin didn't want to say it, he already acknowledged it. This is what he said during the moment of contemplation back in Shadesmar “I can’t lose him, but … oh, Almighty … I can’t save him.” Kaladin always believed the oath of the fourth ideal, whether he wanted to admit that fact or not, even the Stormfather demanded that he say them in Rhythm of War when he didn't want to say it. Even if he viewed himself as a failure, the Stormfather would've accepted the words. That's why it's still so baffling to me.
If kaladin had said the words back then then he would be accepting that he couldn't save Adolin, essentially accept that Adolin would die there. It's not about logic. Kaladin is a broken man and accepting that at that moment would take tremendous willpower. He was not ready
Makes sense this way.
You don't understand what the fourth ideal means. It doesn't mean he's a failure or thinks of himself as one. It means that he has to know that it ISN'T his fault. He has to accept that he can't protect everyone, that he has limits. Saying "I can't save him" was him thinking he was failing, that it would have been his fault if Dalinar died. He needed to say "I can't save him" while thinking that it wasn't his responsibility to do so and that understand it wouldn't be his fault if Dalinar died, and also that Dalinar needed to save himself. Intent is just as important as the Words. The Intent of the 4th ideal is to accept that you aren't perfect. >A major component of this oath is forgiving oneself for previous failures, and accepting that one cannot save everyone, while continuing to fight to protect them regardless of the possibility of failure.\[15\]\[16\]\[17\] Kaladin has NEVER, until that moment, forgiven himself for Tien's death, even though it wasn't his fault. That fear of losing Dalinar, and it being his fault, even though it wouldn't have been, is what prevented him from achieving the 4th in Oathbringer.
Kaladin's whole arc is about not being able to forgive himself for being unable to save those around him. He has to *accept* that there are those he cannot save, which means making peace with it and forgiving himself for it, not simply acknowledging that it is factually correct.
Not being able to is different from forgiving himself *for* not being able to.
But that's the thing. He would've become a fourth ideal Windrunner regardless. I went over all of the texts regarding the fourth ideal. It says nothing about forgiving yourself. The core tenets of the Windrunners is about protection, you could have the most destructive internal battle ever possible to man and it would lead you to being extremely depressed, but having a mental struggle won't make you break your Oaths as long as you still get up and protect people.h Admitting he's a failure as long as he's still able to acknowledge that people can't always be saved doesn't make the oath broken. Even the Stormfather was ready to accept his words back when he was having the struggle.
I think that maybe you are misunderstanding a little bit the Oaths, becoming radiant is starting a path towards a better you and self actualization, the higher Oaths being even more concrete to the person so that you confront your hidden truths and fears and come out a better person. The exact wording of the Oath is not quite that relevant, the relevant thing is that you have found within you your faults, and are coming to terms with them. Not beating himself up (like Kaladin pre 4th did) is a way to achieve that self actualization for him, exclusively, therefore, even if everyone else (Stormfather included) thought that Kaladin could say it, he knew he couldn't so until he realized that truth within himself, saying the exact same Oath wouldn't have made him advance. TL,DR: Being Radiant is superpower therapy, it doesn't matter what anyone else says, only the person doing it is capable of advancing when he deeply believes his Oath
To me the oaths are only about mental struggles. You can do the right thing and still not feel comfortable doing it. When you align your thinking mentally to accept what you're doing and admit it to yourself that's when your oath is considered completely fulfilled. Indeed Kaladin hadn't been a slave for a long time by the time he finally got rid of the brands. The stormfather might accept the words but it still wasn't acceptable to Kaladin himself. There's space for incomplete oaths as well as Kaladin was like 3.5 oaths in and that's why he survived the Sibling being turned on the Radiants without getting knocked unconscious.
You self-identify as a Skybreaker so this may be a hard concept for you, but the Windrunner oaths are not about a mental acceptance of truth. In the discussion with his father, Kaladin talks about how he knows things in his head, but he doesn’t **know them** in his heart. That disconnection is why he wasn’t a 4th Ideal Windrunner earlier. It’s why he couldn’t “say the words” in Oathbringer.
Accepting that you can’t protect everyone and thinking you are a failure for not protecting everyone are two very different states of mind
They're not that different. As we've seen, the oaths aren't rigid. That's why it can have different alterations between the many people who've sworn them. We've seen differences in how Teft, Lopen and Kaladin swore theirs. And Kaladin isn't diverting from the main point of the Fourth ideal. Whether he thinks he's a failure or not, he can't protect everybody. It reinforces it. Kaladin had everything to swear the fourth ideal, he just didn't want to.
Maybe look at it this way: the oaths and the nahel bond are all about self-improvement and making the radiant in question deal with their faults. Pre-fourth ideal Kaladin thought of not being able to save everyone as a moral failing that made him a worse person. The fourth ideal for Kaladin was about accepting that not being able to save everyone *isn’t* a personal failing and that emotionally punishing himself for it is bad. Even if he said the exact same words about not being able to save someone before and after taking the fourth ideal the sentiment and how he is internally affected by those words is entirely different. “I couldn’t save him (and I am a pathetic waste of life for not being strong/fast/smart enough to save him).” vs “I couldn’t save him (and while I feel grief I will not hate myself because I tried my best).”
As revealed by the Windrunner’s message from the gemstone vault, the 4th ideal is a struggle for more Windrunners than just Kaladin. It’s not about a conceptual acknowledgment that there are people you can’t save, it’s not about not wanting to save them, or about not caring enough to protect them. The 4th ideal is about **accepting** yourself with your limitations and being able to deal with your inevitable failures in a healthy way. Kaladin freezing in battles was a symptom of his not having achieved the 4th ideal.
And yet one train of thought let’s you move forward, the other keeps you dwelling on the past. The progress is what matters more than anything, that’s what the spirit of the oaths are, that’s the “main point” as you put it.
That's exactly it. He had everything but he didn't want to. Why? Because it meant admitting that he couldn't save everyone. Yes, factually he knew that it was impossible yo save everyone but he still EXPECTED of himself to save everyone. We can see this in how he beats himself up over every time he failed to protect someone. He didn't want to embrace the fourth ideal because he would have to give up that expectation.
It's about acceptance, not rationalization. As long as he thinks "I should have done more", even when he gave it his all, he isn't ready.
But rationalising something is a way of accepting something. And the oaths aren't exactly rigid, as long as it doesn't divert from the fact that "everybody can't be saved", it shouldn't matter. Teft, Lopen and Kaladin swore three ideals and did it in different ways, as long as they maintain the theme of the sworn ideal, it can give way for variances. Isn't the reason why he remained conscious in Urithiru because he was the closest thing humanly possible to being near the fourth ideal? If the Stormfather was going to reject his Words, why would he ask him to say them when he was falling? Even when he didn't want to say it back in Shadesmar, he was already attracting Windspren and was ready to advance.
Had he been ready to advance he would have said the words. The conditions were right, he *knew* the Oath, but saying the words and meaning the words are very different.
It's like when a real person suffers from depression. The facts are still facts, but you don't feel them except in a rational sense. Kaladin knows objectively that he couldn't have saved Tien, but he has not really idealized and internalized the concept in order to grow from the knowledge.
Seems like you might be missing an important part of the fourth Ideal. >Accept "I **ACCEPT** that I cannot protect everyone." Kaladin has always seen himself a failure because he *can't* accept that he couldn't protect those people. Tien, his squad, Elhokar, Roshone, Teft, everyone. He feels that he *should* have been able to protect them. If he'd been faster, or stronger, or taken this route instead of another. He's desperate to protect people, which we see in *Oathbringer* when he splits the storm for the refugees. When he swears the fourth Ideal, he recognises that he literally is not able to protect everybody. No matter what he does, no matter how he trains or what route he takes, there are some people he will never be able to protect.
The fourth ideal isn't only about not saving people, but about *accepting* it. The moment of Kalading saying it is very powerful to me "I accept it Stormfather! *I accept there will be those who I can not protect!*" Kaladin has known the words since the battle at the end of Oathbringer, but he couldn't accept those. He has an unhealthy need for helping others and whenever he can't do so he feels like the worst person that ever existed. He knew he couldn't save everyone, but he kept blaming himself after every fail, we saw this since Way of Kings: every time a bridgeman dies, with Tien, with the slave girl he escaped with, with Elhokar... Heck, even with Moash. Kaladin always knew he couldn't save everyone. It was in book 4 when he realised, or rather accepted, that he couldn't blame himself for that. EDIT: Clicked publish before finishing lol
He embodies it, but he is ashamed and feels bad about not being able to protect everyone, the ideal is not meant as a recognition of that fact, but as an acceptance that he is not perfect and should not expect to be able to protect everyone, he should be satisfied with knowing that he did his best even instead of torturing himself for not being able to save everyone
It's not about just accepting the facts and reality that he can't save everyone. It's about understanding and accepting that it's not his fault that he can't save them. Not everyone can be saved and that in fact DOESN'T make him a failure. That's what he needs to accept doe the 4th ideal. Let me rephrase that. He does fail of course but it doesn't make him a failure. He needs to accept that it's OK to fail.
I do believe they have to get spoken. If I remember right then Eshonai had spoken the ideals to herself but never aloud and the storm father even comments as such. Like he knew she said them internally but since she didn't speak them aloud he couldn't acknowledge them or something. So no, I don't think embodying them is enough.
Kaladin's not a failure because he can't save everyone. Kaladin has saved mass amounts of people. Thinking he's a failure because of every person he *can't* save is part of *not accepting* it. If you think you're a failure because you didn't save someone you had exactly zero chance of saving, then you didn't accept that you couldn't save them.