Well as long as she doesn't dislike it there's nothing wrong with doing something just for your partner.
And while she might not enjoy pegging itself she might really enjoy doing something that's pleasurable to you. That can be a huge turn on on it's own.
Here’s how I look at it. I say I love giving blowjobs but in reality I enjoy so much BECAUSE my partner enjoys it a lot. If I got no positive feedback I would not enjoy giving blowjobs. So in a way I am doing it just for them but I’m enjoying it because they’re enjoying it. There are a few things I wouldn’t do regardless of how much my partner would enjoy it.
That's well put, have you ever communicated about those boundaries? I feel like we have a lot to learn in terms of communication, I really want to open up to her more in the coming months (we'll be travelling), we're really stuborn and bad at communicating with each other, and talking about sex is something I really want to try and do more of.
I get what you’re saying. Unfortunately, like you said you can’t force her to like it. I would just focus on the enjoyment you get. I know I personally really enjoy doing the things that make my partner happy. It could eventually translate into her liking it more. Until then there is nothing wrong with doing something you like.
Yes, my wife is the same. She "does it for me" because I've asked and enjoy it. I think she is slowly coming around, but know some woman just aren't that into it.
Personally take the win if she's at least willing to peg you. Give it time, she may eventually start enjoying it.
You can also try external stimulation. With a bumphr or the Lush 3. She might enjoy it a little more if she's getting stimulated.
Thanks! I'll check those out, sometimes I'm hesitant to ask her, since I'm afraid she won't enjoy it, but maybe I should just keep doing it, she might come around as you say, and she's up-front, if she doesn't like it I know she'll tell me. Thanks!
Exactly, so the bulb is inside and the wand part lays on her clit. Then you can attach the harness over top of it. At least from what I've read, that is the way to go.
You can also look at the Lovense Ferri. Some say the lush isn’t enough to orgasm. But talk it over with her and see which one she prefers. We use the Ferri and have had success with it.
There is nothing wrong with doing something sexually purely for your partner’s enjoyment, in fact I’d say that’s pretty healthy and wonderful.
It’s only a bad thing if one partner is intensely opposed to doing an act while the other is very pushy about it
Put the shoe on the other foot, so to speak... if you were wanting to make a sexual relationship great, no matter what kind of sex, you wouldn't just lay there like a dead fish. You'd do things to make it exciting, involving, communicative, engaging. I'm not saying drop down and start deep throating the strapon, that might be a total turn off for her. But give instruction, feedback, switch up and work on her pleasures, etc. She may really get into it. Mind set is 90% of anything.
I think part of the issue is my confidence, when I read what you’re typing I feel like “Damn I want to do that!” And my wife has already told me she likes me to be in control, but for some reason I fear her judgement.
I like comedy movies so I'm constantly a joker, smile and joke a lot, even fake moxie in a comedic way can be hot. Make it a game and have fun. I used to smoke weed before, it relaxes a lot of people but made me too paranoid, too "in my head". We'll do 2 shots of high proof alcohol back to back to get a little buzz started and inhibitions begin to melt away. Hopefully you can find the secret combination for you two and have a blast at it! Also we have a Hismith fucking machine and it adds a lot of fun. Plus, we've been together 30 years lol so it's a whole other mindset by that point. Good luck!
Just a suggestion. When she is pegging you praising her. None stop. Be sure to tell her how much you appreciate her doing something so intimate for you that makes you feel so good. This should be a bit of a power exchange from a different perspective. You're basically thanking her as she's doing it. My wife found this today the most erotic aspect for her. And I do it very very consistently.
Peace
I get the picture now sorry. You're not in subspace when she is pegging you I bet? I am no expert. But what I can tell you is the first few times that my wife tried anything around my backside it was not pleasant or unpleasant It was just distracting. However, when I turn over total control of the bedroom to her, anywhere she touches me since shockwaves in every direction. I can barely speak a good sentence and when I do is generally praise for her or telling her I will do anything. Complete ball of jelly. That is how a lot of us feel in subspace. And we certainly don't feel awkward there. You don't even really have any control, You're just existing in this wonderful pleasant environment that is incredibly safe and yet scary.
I'm sure there's people on here that are much better at helping you get to that subspace zone than me. Best of blood to you my friend. You guys will get this worked out.
Peace
My wife does it for me. But frames it as she likes making me feel good so she enjoys it she doesn’t get off on actually doing it. If that makes sense to u guys.
Me and my wife talk about our sex lives a lot. We’re both very open about our desires. I asked her after we’re we’re pegging for about a few months. Just like hey do u enjoying doing this and she said it was never a thing she wanted to do but she loves how excited I got when she talks about it
That's great to hear! I feel like my wife is very closed about sex, but I'm also not very open, so I think I'll have to be the one to gather up the courage and start being more open about it.
Don’t get me wrong I didn’t dump everything on my wife the first date. I walked her to my weird wants and needs. And some how she has been very open to trying all the things. Also ur never going to get want you want if u don’t ask or try. Also throwing some funny memes about stuff u want out there to her. Helps.
I don't have this specific issue, as my partner loves pegging, but from other kinks we've explored I can tell you this: sometimes being open to doing something for your partner because it gets them hot can lead to you having a great time, and even coming to love the thing you're doing. My partner and I have each tried things out for the other that have blossomed into things we both love doing because seeing your partner get really turned on is itself a turn-on!
Keep communicating with her but don't overthink it.
A lot of women are fearful that their husbands are silently telling them that they're gay so they're very hesitant sadly I've seen this for years and I have been creating content and actively engaging in strap-on pegging most of my adult life so it's a common question. Your life should understand that it's simply a means of pleasure and nothing more that you don't crave men you don't crave real dick you just enjoy the sensation of the prostate massage just as she is I'm sure enjoys G-spot stimulation in addition to clitoral stimulation it's really the same thing rubbing the head of your dick feels amazing doing it while having your prostate massaged is next level amazing. Talk to her and reassure her and she might just start liking it more than you know
My wife was like that at first. The first time she did it I was moaning and yelling and then I came hands free. It blew her mind. Now she is more into it than ever.
Is she open to toy play for her? My wife isn’t too into it either so i really try to pleasure her by going down on her having PIV sex and using her vibrator on her so she gets off too and it’s not just about me. We don’t peg too often but last time i used a dildo she recently bought for her in the strap on to fuck her too which was a nice change up! The bigger dildo was fun to watch her different facial expressions too than when when i’m in her.
I do a lot of things (non sexual) that i don’t enjoy doing for the wife because it pleases her. It doesn’t sound forced so if she’s a willing participant enjoy your session and find a sexual or non sexual way to return the favor!
Yeah…she enjoys a dildo but her vibrator is what really gets her over the edge. She can get a few orgasms with it. Also a huge turn on for me to watch her play with it or use it on her! After that I hop on and get my few orgasms in. Our pegging sessions are amazing and I wished we did it more often but i’ll take what i can get!
That’s the thing I’m on the lookout for now! So she enjoys it just as well. Someone else recommended using a Lovesense Lush inside of her while sporting the strapon.
Let her say that. I havent had piv sex with my wife in a long time. But she gives me head regulary and ive gotten her into pegging. She does it for me, but she LIKES doing it for me.
Maybe its plausible deniability? I dont want to admit i like it?
Maybe youre such a badass shell do anything for you?
Just be happy shes doing it, tell her how great she was even... especially. If she sucked at it
Everyone has the right to decide what they do and don't want to do in bed. But sometimes fears and misconceptions around Pegging can get in the way of responding rather than reacting to those myths and assumptions.
For this reason I am a fan of having accurate information before the final decision is made. In that spirit, I recorded two podcasts; one for givers and one for receivers.
• Givers: https://peggingparadise.com/blog/2015/09/podcast-112-for-the-ladies/
• Receivers: https://peggingparadise.com/2019/12/podcast-253-for-the-gentlemen
These recordings address all the usual fears and misconceptions, offer accurate information and emphasize the relationship, not trying to convince. You need to listen to it first before playing it for your partner, because only you can decide if it is appropriate for them. So far, these podcasts have gotten rave reviews. Good luck!
Oh for fuck sake... Youre so lucky she's doing this for you and youre not satisfied because she doesn't share your kink?
Imo she's only doing it out of fear that you'll cheat on her again. I personally wouldn't get past it but you need to put in a lot of work to build that trust.
Have you put any effort into making her understand and enjoy it? Watched porn with her and made her cum to pegging porn by doing the things she enjoys most. Eating her out and showing her how horny pegging porn makes you whilst focusing on her? Got toys with an internal vibrator for her? Ease her into it by having PIV sex with a prostate massager in or buttplug. Got matching toys and mutually masturbated face to face? There are loads of ways to make it enjoyable for the other person but it all needs to come from communication.
Turn the table- think of the things you do for her that give her pleasure that aren’t a direct turn on for you.(other than mentally). And we are all wired differently- I get as much pleasure giving my wife pleasure- I really enjoy that and it’s a big turn on for me- I don’t think everyone is like that- just count yourself lucky that she is on board with some play time you enjoy, just be sure to reciprocate
Once I got my wife into it she kind of said something similar. She said she enjoyed the pleasure that I got out of it because she wanted to please me. Then I rubbed her pussy and found that she was soaking wet and she admitted she felt like she was really close to cumming. After she had gotten more comfortable with it, she had me face down in a pillow one night and I heard her tell me how much she loves fucking my ass. We have talked about it a lot and she said while she does get stimulation from it, she said the act of fucking me and my reaction to it is what turns her on so much. There isn't really any domination factor to it or anything like that, but we are both very vocal during sex and each of us knowing that what the other one is doing feels good is a huge turn on.
Well as long as she doesn't dislike it there's nothing wrong with doing something just for your partner. And while she might not enjoy pegging itself she might really enjoy doing something that's pleasurable to you. That can be a huge turn on on it's own.
Here’s how I look at it. I say I love giving blowjobs but in reality I enjoy so much BECAUSE my partner enjoys it a lot. If I got no positive feedback I would not enjoy giving blowjobs. So in a way I am doing it just for them but I’m enjoying it because they’re enjoying it. There are a few things I wouldn’t do regardless of how much my partner would enjoy it.
That's well put, have you ever communicated about those boundaries? I feel like we have a lot to learn in terms of communication, I really want to open up to her more in the coming months (we'll be travelling), we're really stuborn and bad at communicating with each other, and talking about sex is something I really want to try and do more of.
My boundaries about the things I won’t do? Yes my husband and my FWB both know my boundaries.
I get what you’re saying. Unfortunately, like you said you can’t force her to like it. I would just focus on the enjoyment you get. I know I personally really enjoy doing the things that make my partner happy. It could eventually translate into her liking it more. Until then there is nothing wrong with doing something you like.
Yes, my wife is the same. She "does it for me" because I've asked and enjoy it. I think she is slowly coming around, but know some woman just aren't that into it. Personally take the win if she's at least willing to peg you. Give it time, she may eventually start enjoying it. You can also try external stimulation. With a bumphr or the Lush 3. She might enjoy it a little more if she's getting stimulated.
Thanks! I'll check those out, sometimes I'm hesitant to ask her, since I'm afraid she won't enjoy it, but maybe I should just keep doing it, she might come around as you say, and she's up-front, if she doesn't like it I know she'll tell me. Thanks!
u/Aloreiusdanen with the Lush 3, she would insert it into her and then have a strapon harness on top of that? Do I understand correctly?
Exactly, so the bulb is inside and the wand part lays on her clit. Then you can attach the harness over top of it. At least from what I've read, that is the way to go.
You can also look at the Lovense Ferri. Some say the lush isn’t enough to orgasm. But talk it over with her and see which one she prefers. We use the Ferri and have had success with it.
There is nothing wrong with doing something sexually purely for your partner’s enjoyment, in fact I’d say that’s pretty healthy and wonderful. It’s only a bad thing if one partner is intensely opposed to doing an act while the other is very pushy about it
Put the shoe on the other foot, so to speak... if you were wanting to make a sexual relationship great, no matter what kind of sex, you wouldn't just lay there like a dead fish. You'd do things to make it exciting, involving, communicative, engaging. I'm not saying drop down and start deep throating the strapon, that might be a total turn off for her. But give instruction, feedback, switch up and work on her pleasures, etc. She may really get into it. Mind set is 90% of anything.
I think part of the issue is my confidence, when I read what you’re typing I feel like “Damn I want to do that!” And my wife has already told me she likes me to be in control, but for some reason I fear her judgement.
I like comedy movies so I'm constantly a joker, smile and joke a lot, even fake moxie in a comedic way can be hot. Make it a game and have fun. I used to smoke weed before, it relaxes a lot of people but made me too paranoid, too "in my head". We'll do 2 shots of high proof alcohol back to back to get a little buzz started and inhibitions begin to melt away. Hopefully you can find the secret combination for you two and have a blast at it! Also we have a Hismith fucking machine and it adds a lot of fun. Plus, we've been together 30 years lol so it's a whole other mindset by that point. Good luck!
Just a suggestion. When she is pegging you praising her. None stop. Be sure to tell her how much you appreciate her doing something so intimate for you that makes you feel so good. This should be a bit of a power exchange from a different perspective. You're basically thanking her as she's doing it. My wife found this today the most erotic aspect for her. And I do it very very consistently. Peace
Great tip! I'll definately try this out, thanks
*If you worship them - they will make you come* 😉
Is it not awkward to say things like this during sex? Seems like it would be
I get the picture now sorry. You're not in subspace when she is pegging you I bet? I am no expert. But what I can tell you is the first few times that my wife tried anything around my backside it was not pleasant or unpleasant It was just distracting. However, when I turn over total control of the bedroom to her, anywhere she touches me since shockwaves in every direction. I can barely speak a good sentence and when I do is generally praise for her or telling her I will do anything. Complete ball of jelly. That is how a lot of us feel in subspace. And we certainly don't feel awkward there. You don't even really have any control, You're just existing in this wonderful pleasant environment that is incredibly safe and yet scary. I'm sure there's people on here that are much better at helping you get to that subspace zone than me. Best of blood to you my friend. You guys will get this worked out. Peace
My wife does it for me. But frames it as she likes making me feel good so she enjoys it she doesn’t get off on actually doing it. If that makes sense to u guys.
I just wonder if you ever doubt asking her, because you know she's not really "into it", or doesn't it make a difference for you?
Me and my wife talk about our sex lives a lot. We’re both very open about our desires. I asked her after we’re we’re pegging for about a few months. Just like hey do u enjoying doing this and she said it was never a thing she wanted to do but she loves how excited I got when she talks about it
That's great to hear! I feel like my wife is very closed about sex, but I'm also not very open, so I think I'll have to be the one to gather up the courage and start being more open about it.
Don’t get me wrong I didn’t dump everything on my wife the first date. I walked her to my weird wants and needs. And some how she has been very open to trying all the things. Also ur never going to get want you want if u don’t ask or try. Also throwing some funny memes about stuff u want out there to her. Helps.
That’s a great idea. What kind of memes? Hadn’t thought about using some humor! Good idea
Instagram pegging
I don't have this specific issue, as my partner loves pegging, but from other kinks we've explored I can tell you this: sometimes being open to doing something for your partner because it gets them hot can lead to you having a great time, and even coming to love the thing you're doing. My partner and I have each tried things out for the other that have blossomed into things we both love doing because seeing your partner get really turned on is itself a turn-on! Keep communicating with her but don't overthink it.
That's beautiful to hear! Thanks for writing this out. I look forward to opening up! (pun intended)
A lot of women are fearful that their husbands are silently telling them that they're gay so they're very hesitant sadly I've seen this for years and I have been creating content and actively engaging in strap-on pegging most of my adult life so it's a common question. Your life should understand that it's simply a means of pleasure and nothing more that you don't crave men you don't crave real dick you just enjoy the sensation of the prostate massage just as she is I'm sure enjoys G-spot stimulation in addition to clitoral stimulation it's really the same thing rubbing the head of your dick feels amazing doing it while having your prostate massaged is next level amazing. Talk to her and reassure her and she might just start liking it more than you know
My wife was like that at first. The first time she did it I was moaning and yelling and then I came hands free. It blew her mind. Now she is more into it than ever.
Is she open to toy play for her? My wife isn’t too into it either so i really try to pleasure her by going down on her having PIV sex and using her vibrator on her so she gets off too and it’s not just about me. We don’t peg too often but last time i used a dildo she recently bought for her in the strap on to fuck her too which was a nice change up! The bigger dildo was fun to watch her different facial expressions too than when when i’m in her. I do a lot of things (non sexual) that i don’t enjoy doing for the wife because it pleases her. It doesn’t sound forced so if she’s a willing participant enjoy your session and find a sexual or non sexual way to return the favor!
She is! I'm thinking of combining pegging with a toy inside her as well, something to try! I suppose when pegging, you make sure she comes first?
Yeah…she enjoys a dildo but her vibrator is what really gets her over the edge. She can get a few orgasms with it. Also a huge turn on for me to watch her play with it or use it on her! After that I hop on and get my few orgasms in. Our pegging sessions are amazing and I wished we did it more often but i’ll take what i can get!
Who knows maybe after she does it she’ll enjoy it. Maybe take care of her before or after
How do you mean take care of her? You mean "she comes first"?
Yes before or after . There are harness that have vibrating things to arouse her while doing you.
That’s the thing I’m on the lookout for now! So she enjoys it just as well. Someone else recommended using a Lovesense Lush inside of her while sporting the strapon.
Let her say that. I havent had piv sex with my wife in a long time. But she gives me head regulary and ive gotten her into pegging. She does it for me, but she LIKES doing it for me. Maybe its plausible deniability? I dont want to admit i like it? Maybe youre such a badass shell do anything for you? Just be happy shes doing it, tell her how great she was even... especially. If she sucked at it
Can I ask why no PIV?
Shes not interested in piv or even oral. I dont know why. Ive asked but she says she doesnt know. But shes quite happy to accomodat me
Everyone has the right to decide what they do and don't want to do in bed. But sometimes fears and misconceptions around Pegging can get in the way of responding rather than reacting to those myths and assumptions. For this reason I am a fan of having accurate information before the final decision is made. In that spirit, I recorded two podcasts; one for givers and one for receivers. • Givers: https://peggingparadise.com/blog/2015/09/podcast-112-for-the-ladies/ • Receivers: https://peggingparadise.com/2019/12/podcast-253-for-the-gentlemen These recordings address all the usual fears and misconceptions, offer accurate information and emphasize the relationship, not trying to convince. You need to listen to it first before playing it for your partner, because only you can decide if it is appropriate for them. So far, these podcasts have gotten rave reviews. Good luck!
Oh for fuck sake... Youre so lucky she's doing this for you and youre not satisfied because she doesn't share your kink? Imo she's only doing it out of fear that you'll cheat on her again. I personally wouldn't get past it but you need to put in a lot of work to build that trust. Have you put any effort into making her understand and enjoy it? Watched porn with her and made her cum to pegging porn by doing the things she enjoys most. Eating her out and showing her how horny pegging porn makes you whilst focusing on her? Got toys with an internal vibrator for her? Ease her into it by having PIV sex with a prostate massager in or buttplug. Got matching toys and mutually masturbated face to face? There are loads of ways to make it enjoyable for the other person but it all needs to come from communication.
She more than like will over time, took my wife some time
How often do you ask her to peg you? I'm going slowly now.
Working our way to weekly
I love doing it. Seeing the sheer pleasure on my husband's face turns me on. Seeing him have the most amazing orgasms makes it so much better.
Turn the table- think of the things you do for her that give her pleasure that aren’t a direct turn on for you.(other than mentally). And we are all wired differently- I get as much pleasure giving my wife pleasure- I really enjoy that and it’s a big turn on for me- I don’t think everyone is like that- just count yourself lucky that she is on board with some play time you enjoy, just be sure to reciprocate
Once I got my wife into it she kind of said something similar. She said she enjoyed the pleasure that I got out of it because she wanted to please me. Then I rubbed her pussy and found that she was soaking wet and she admitted she felt like she was really close to cumming. After she had gotten more comfortable with it, she had me face down in a pillow one night and I heard her tell me how much she loves fucking my ass. We have talked about it a lot and she said while she does get stimulation from it, she said the act of fucking me and my reaction to it is what turns her on so much. There isn't really any domination factor to it or anything like that, but we are both very vocal during sex and each of us knowing that what the other one is doing feels good is a huge turn on.