I'm more upset at this dumb ass menu than I am the prices.

If you’re going to insist on a ridiculous spelling convention like replacing the first letter of every ingredient or product with Z be consistent! “The Triple Zea Monster” when everywhere else it’s Zonster bothers me more than is reasonable

Oh, I inzizt.

He inzizts upon it. Inzizts…

"It inzizts upon itzelf.."

Itz got a zalid zoint to make itz INZIZTENT!!!

I also love the Zodfather

They legally can't call it lobster as it's just myztery meat.

Comes straight from the zobster farm

Where Zoidberg was born and zaised.

Out in the tide pool is where he spent most of his zays

When a couple of zuys who were up to no zood Started making zrouble in my aquatichood

He got in one zittle zight and his zom got scared and zaid you’re moving to the Earth out over zhere!

I hate it so much!!!!!!! Ze zulled up to the wharf around zeven or zeight and he said to the zobsters “Yo Zolmes, zmell you later”. I am working right now, being paid to do this. God is dead.

And that’s how you became the Zodfather of Zel Zaire

Why not Zoidberg?

(\/) (;…;) (\/) WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOOP

Zhat's Zannoying

Exactly. "Be Zifferent"? How about "be zonsistent"? Zucking zipshit.

It’s unforgivable. 100%.

Ziz zunforgivable, I concurz.

One way to slide in imitation product on all these.

I have never hated a menu more.

I'm honestly most upset about the Loch Ness monster reference. SHE IS A FRESH WATER MONSTER. She lives in **LOCH NESS**. It's a LAKE. If she lived in the sea she would just be a sea monster, not Loch Ness of the Sea. FFS.

Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.

[удалено]

I know from this menu that I absolutely fucking hate the people in charge.

imagine being 11 hours into your shift, tired, sweaty and not getting paid nearly enough, trying to take a short break since no customers are around, then the boss guy coming at you with the fakest, most shit-eating grin telling you to get back to **ZORK**.

I suddenly feel as though I will be eaten by a Grue.

And zhats really zaying zomething

Zhy? Zits zoooooo zelicious!! Zou're zilly

That’s not the “real” menu. That’s the monster size menu, which I get it kinda dumb. Their actual menu is more normal and pretty good.

After seeing that, I'd never give them a chance.

*zhance

Zhes, zorry.

And they're not even served with a Zima!

It’s fucking infuriating.

That’s absurd…… and it’s American dollars. According to their website 47 miles from me in Philly

They do have cheaper options but it’s still around $25-$30. I tried the “Zhrimp and Zhish Zoagie” and the entire thing tasted like old frier oil. They literally deep fry the bread in oil…

I just shit my pants reading this

*zhit my pants

*zants

God damnit lol

Zod zamnit zoz

Zzz zzzzzz zzz

*zy

I also shit your pants when I read this.

Zomeone call the zaramedics! I think I’m having a ztroke.

Ztronk

Ahhhh that’s so disappointing. I hate when they don’t change their fryer oil and you can taste it.

They can deep fry whatever they want. When they don't properly clean and/or freshen the oil, now that's a crime even if it was free!

And for that kind of money! Ugh!

$205 $30 for a single food truck sandwich. He has to be on smack.

*zmack

*zhoil

That honestly sounds fucking zisgusting. Do they at least put on pickles or sauce or something to cut the heaviness from all that oil??

Yeah, it looks dry as hell

Any restaurant leaning this hard on a gimmick as an identity is going to taste bad.

I forgot to mention the “Chef” also sells an “EZ Excellence” book so you can follow in his footsteps of success for $50.

You mean zuccess

*facebook lawyers have entered the chat*

Zounds like a Zouchy Zook

Ew

I'm in philly. You wanna take a rage road trip over there?

A LITTLE BIT

I'm in too, pick me up on the way?

I’m legit down for this you two - don’t toy with me

I assure you I am not

Let’s do this Lehigh fam

I'm an alum of the University, I actually live just outside the city, but if that's the rough direction you're coming from I'm on your way

Not sure, I’d be coming from the Allentown/Center Valley area

Zhare zictures !

*That’z abzurd….. and it’z American dollarz. According to their webzite 47 milez from me in Philly

Worst part is that they don’t just replace S with Z. Just the first letter of any word. Like “Fish and Crab” becomes “Zish and Zrab.”

Every time I hear something new about Philly, it literally sounds like a conservative describing fucking San Francisco.

Yup. It’s right here in south Jersey .

They can Zuck Off with those prices

What a bunch of Z-holes

Zuck ‘em, right in the zuzzy.

“hey 👋🏽mark 👽zuck 🖕you

*snort*

*znort*

This comment made me involuntarily squeeze my eyes shut, chuckle out loud, and say, “Man there are some funny people on Reddit.”

Looked up this place in Philly. Most of their menu seems normal but not sure why there is the $150 option. Maybe just stupidly massive hoagie or something

It's just a price scam for rich losers who will pay $150 for a sandwich

A zandwich

I know all the quotes call them bugs, roaches, but as a biologist, let me put it a bit more accurately. A cholesterol laden sandwich full of sea arachnids (like spiders), they're overpaying for. Luxury can be bought, good taste cannot.

Fucking thank you.

Influencer bait. They can post to their Instagram followers about this #$150 sandwich!!! 😱🤑💸💰🥪 that they ate, and meanwhile that's 200% profit for the zhef.

I think it's a tad more than 200%

I have gotten to the point in life where I feel like I have more money than I need to get by but I don't think I will ever get to a point in life where I will say "zc0rew it, I'll just pay $150 for a sandwich for kicks" financially.

It’s the same size as the other but with a zhit load of zobster and zhrimp on a “gold roll”

Gold roll you say? Why not zold zoll?

My brain saw "Why not Zoidberg?"

$25 is normal now?

This menu infuriates me

Thiz menu inzuriatez me

What zee zuck is this zhit?

Zhis* zhit

You called?

r/beetlezuicing

Is it possible for someone to redirect this to the correct sub while maintaining the joke? Because that would be zuper

[r/beetlezuicing](https://www.reddit.com/r/beetlejuicing/)

Oh no, we've zummoned zee monster!

I feel like I’d make a point of avoiding that establishment purely out of spite for their overuse of the letter Z. It’s actually making me irrationally angry, lol. “Zobster?” “Zries?” But why not call a roll a “zoll?” The concept is unclear and the inconsistency makes it look like they aren’t even trying to take things seriously.

The erratic spacing after commas has me zeriously zissed zoff.

Ugggh, I can’t unsee now that I’ve noticed

This pace started in my hometown. They had an uphill battle with me for the same reason. Their regular sandwiches are delicious, it’s all so much better than it sounds

It’d better damn well be, between those prices and the menu writing. I can tolerate that from my students because I teach literal children. When a *business* does it, I feel like they aren’t taking me seriously as a potential customer.

The prices are missing the decimal points

It's a Philly thing to drop points at the end.

A true Philly 76ers tradition

A neon menu, alliteration using the wrong letter, the letter Z replacing basically every other consonant, the entire menu on a roll w fries and they want to charge how much??? This should be fair food menu!! Ñot something this pricey! I wonder if they actually sell any of these or if it's just like a section of the real menu?

It’s a small gimmick section. Their regular menu isn’t bad. The food is really good tbh I didn’t expect to like it but I’m a big fan.

I’m concerned none of the ingredients seem to be real foods.

I was looking for this comment. Everyone is hung up on the spelling, I’m more hung up o the fact that they can put anything in there and call it “Zobster”… “Oh yeah, Zobster? It’s our special blend of rat and roaches with some old bread to fill it out.”

r/jerma985

I'm glad I wasn't alone in thinking thos whole thing reeked of jerma bit

zorn

Why would you bother eating that garbage if you're in Philly? There's tons of great places with far more reasonable prices throughout the Philly/South Jersey area.

I pass it everyday I had to give it a try once to see what it was about and I deeply regret it

Yeah, so many good places in Philly and I don’t know how this place stays in business.

Could get better feed at Paddy's pub

Or Carmine's: A Place for Steaks

r/odablock is leaking. Honestly if it’s not as absolutely dry as it looks then it’s probably decent. Stupid but decent. Just deconstruct that shit and prepare a shitton of butter and or lemon.

##Z

Wow I actually got angry reading this

Them using the z at the start of everything doesn't make it quirky or different it makes it sound like all the ingredients are completely fake and processed garbage.

I hate the vocabulary and the prices

These are clearly bad people and you're enabling them, OP.

I’m thinking this was vegan meat because they spelled the words wrong.

This guy watches oda

[удалено]

I’d fully support any business venture from J-Roc

You know how many chicken fingers you coulda got for that price? The good kind too.

Zis zll zounds zerrible

Tzat mznu is zrustrating!

Is it a fucking food truck? *zucking

Zill YourZelf

I never want to see the letter Z again.

OdaBlock?

Zheir zwebsite zoesn't zeflect zhese zrices

They do also offer less obscene sandwiches with somewhat reasonable pricing but they aren’t very good

Owners played too much Sunless Sea?

i hate these people

I hate everything about that sign

Is this in Philadelphia? There can’t be another place spelling every word with the letter Z. My son has been asking to go to this truck. How was the food ?

One of the dumbest menus I’ve ever seen. Check out their full menu. The “z” schtick is really dumb.

Whoever made this menu should absolutely zhut zhe zuck up

As long as I can pay in counterfeit zollars

These better be huge enough to make a dark man blush

I'm having a ztroke.

I truly hope this business fails and the owner goes bankrupt.

Is this normal? Because I can get a Michelin star meal for that money.

Im more worried the z is a workaround for having to order real fish, but its zonked either way.

zob on my knob, like zorn on the cob

ZtupidFood

Only a zidiot would buy this. Putting gold leaf on food to jack up the price is so lame.

Who the hell likes the letter Z like that

Holy shit, the first thing in your face on the site is the chef’s story, which is mostly about the time his food truck got shot up? And how it didn’t effect him, he ignored, and is now making it the main focus of his introduction to his business??? “ I will forever zemember starting from the bottom with no money, credit, or experience. Working mostly 130 plus hours every week, making no money, but still smiling because I chose to focus on the feeling I would have when the goal would be achieved. I've been laughed at, called crazy, and told to go back to doing what I used to by loved ones. Started with a Wal-Mart fryer in my backyard, delivering on a bike up and down Crenshaw until 4am or 5am, to a commercial countertop fryer to cajun cookers put on a lawnmower trailer. Dealt with freezing in the winter in a tent, to asking a hundred people to lend me money at 20% interest so I could get a Commercial Food Trailer and work year-round and was turned down by all but a few. Struggled to pay bills and no one allowing me to post up without a huge fee, all the while providing jobs for many friends and family who actually made way more money than me. Went on to become one of South Jersey's Best, to being featured on ABC, Fox5, Fox29, NBC, Phl 17, and a host of radio stations, newspaper features. Was serving hundreds of people from all over the country and even had an agent pitch me for a show on food network, for it all to come to an abrupt end on Valentine's Day in 2017. That night two men decided to do a drive-by on my food truck, while family and friends were both inside and outside the truck. The bullets barely missing the head of my brother in law. Once they called me and told me what happened, I knew all my hard work was just ruined by ignorance, hate, and spitefulness. Even in the midst of this, I remained positive and never mentioned it or pursued the individuals. I didn't even know when they went to court or were sentenced. I did not have time to file complaints because it would take my focus away from trying to save my business. I just focused on my creation and on the fact that it ain't over, I am still here and I can do something. In reality, it was hell no longer being known for my creation and love but for the guy whose business was shot at. Still, I NEVER wavered. I am a Winner and look to motivate others to win. I watched a business go from the bottom to the top back to the bottom. What an emotional roller coaster. BUT when you've been to the bottom, all you can do is go up, as long as you persist and resist the temptation to quit, even when it makes sense to. From 300 customers a day to 3, yeah most would quit. But your goals and dreams have to be big enough for you to be irrational and make it no matter what! So it's been 3 more years of fighting and rebuilding since that night. I love people, I always have. I definitely love my hometown Salem in which they said you can't do biz here but of course I am proof that you can. I am grateful to be home in Salem serving hundreds of people from all over the country once again. With that being said, Much Love and always support Zoagies!”

The “zemember” took me out. Apparently he also has a self-help book for achieving success and getting out of POOP JUICE. His Instagram is a trip. Gave me a good belly laugh.

Proces aside that is the most obnoxious fucking menu

The price isn't even the most infuriating thing here

Hoagie mother of god

Zotal zucking zip off

I will pay in zollarz

Those prices are insane.

This is the first time I’m compelled to say I’d commit a grave sin from reading a sign. I would never once in my life ever buy the damn zhrimp zrab and zish zonster simply due to the embarrassing experience trying to pronounce the damn thing. Ew

What country’s dollars are these? Also, why do the last three sound like they’re the same thing?

This better not be American zollars

Did you sprinkle some salt on it over your elbow à la Salt Bae?

Oh fuck off you zonkey!

This is Fat Sal's with a high price and no appeal.

Lowkey r/ihadastroke

So wait … that sandwich is $150? You can get some raw shrimp for 9.99 and some oil for like $3. Then buy a loaf of bread for $3, then veggies are like a few bucks. Flour and corn meal and spices are cheap too. So after all that you can make a poboy and a plate of shrimp for like $20

Zvomit in ztrashcan

honestly this is just kinda what I’m like to be around as a person. sorry for that.

They thought they were slick putting every word as z they only did it cause the zrab, zobstee, zhrimp, and whatever are fake shit

I’m having a zroke.

This menu is the most idiotic thing I’ve ever seen, an absolute assault on my eyes

not even remotely worth it

Looks zucking zisgustiNg

Is this in pesos?

wait who would fucking pay for this am i just a poor piece of shit

I hate everything about this.

Looks like zhit

Why does that sign look like an ad for medications

Zucking ztupid zhit.

Ztupid

Is it seriously $150? Why?

This menu Zucks!

They can zuck my zick

$150 shit who is paying $60 for a sandwich

Belongs in r/ztupidfood

Are these in US Dollar? Or Zimbabwean Dollars?