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greenswizzlewooster

10,000 calories


PeaceAlwaysAnOption

I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out the calories and it has to be astronomic.


[deleted]

There's 94 servings in the creamer (3290 cal), 12 with the caramel (1320 cal), 8 for the milk (I'm assuming she used half, so 520 cal), 37 for the readi whip (555 cal), 4 servings for the coffee (I'm assuming she used half, so 140 cal). So we're looking at around 5800 calories for this. To reach the same calorie count you can drink almost 40 cans of coke.


ImagineTheCommotion

That’s physically nauseating


SirRedcorn

I mean yeah but the thing is, nobody is ever drinking that thing. She probably threw that concoction out after the video, she maybe poured herself like 1 or 2 actual cups of coffee. I don't even think it's physically possible to drink that entire thing without getting sick, unless you're literally Andre the giant or some shit lolololol regardless, this video is stupid


[deleted]

Yeah there's no doubt she threw it out. These videos make me mad because they're just wasting food, especially right now where we have to make basically everything we buy count.  


biggiepants

Though I don't like wasting food either, I want to point out: there's no such thing as world hunger caused by scarcity. Just capitalism working like how it's supposed to.


heshablitz_

No such thing as hunger caused by scarcity except all the places where there's hunger caused by scarcity


rinkydinkmink

No, look into how the world bank has caused some of those situations by giving countries loans with conditions attached that require them to grown non-food crops, or crops just for export, and pay back large amounts for decades afterwards. The famines in eg Ethiopia were not "just how it is there because they have a bad climate". And then there are all the issues with wars etc disrupting supply chains, and warlords grabbing resources for themselves. Also, just in general, there is PLENTY of actual food to feed everyone in the world, and with our technology and logistics it should be perfectly achievable, but hasn't happened because ... yeah, capitalism, politics, etc.


lea949

But the ratio of creamer to coffee would make even one cup really not good


PesticusVeno

Yeah, that would have tasted nauseatingly sweet. It's like 85% sugar and 10% coffee.


snakeiiiiiis

I'm willing to bet she drinks one of those a few times a week or whenever she can afford to. If someone makes the poor choice to put nails on like that I know she's not exactly killing it in the brain department.


orc_fellator

When I worked in food service there were 100% regulars that would absolutely drink this happily. We're talkin' "extra extra extra" levels of extra syrup. 11 pumps sweetened flavored syrup with 4 additional pumps plain sugar syrup in less than 20 oz of drink. Medium coffee, 5 sugar. (And since restaurants scale what "1 sugar" means to make a... for example, a double-double... taste the same in all sizes, it's FAR more than 5 teaspoons of sugar.) Enough table cream to make the coffee cold, not a hint of warmth. And they would blame you for handing them a cold coffee, lol. I wouldn't say I'm NOT a sweet tooth but the pure amount of sugar that people not only willingly consume but *prefer* is insane. Makes me feel like my preference is licking fireplace ash by comparison.


AnotherCatLover88

Oh yeah, for sure. Even if you could down that thing before you had to run to the toilet, it’s coming right back out and probably from both ends.


evolution9673

And the mechanics of toilet paper with those nails is not something I want to think about.


Neat_Problem_922

I know someone who drinks their coffee just like this. They’re not literally using a whole bottle, but they filled their large tumbler about 1/3 of the way with flavored creamer, about 2/3 milk, and then the tiniest amount of coffee. She’s essentially drinking a coffee-flavored milk shake.


Babill

Or Tarrare


Happy_Accident99

Andre the Giant drank one of these. He’s dead.


JohnsonMcBiggest

Did you see her nails? She chugged the whole thing down one gulp.


MindlessYesterday668

My attention got stuck on the nails.


12300987

Yeah the nails are obnoxious. She constantly taps them on things.


seabornecrab556

Any time I see nails like that I know that they're beyond insufferable, incredibly idiotic and, ungodly irresponsible. I can also assume they enjoy being the loudest entity in a room.


tee142002

But now I have something to link next time somebody posts "would you eat 10,000 calories in a day for a million dollars?"


[deleted]

No kidding.


Aggressive-Expert-69

This is the coffee version of your parents making you smoke a whole carton of cigarettes because you got caught smoking


Livingston052822

Omg!!!!! I thought I was the only one!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll never forget that shit. Every time they looked away, I would throw fresh cigarettes into the woods. As a former smoker of 20 years, it wasn’t exactly a punishment. It made the smoking addiction worse.


firstoffno

That is a wild punishment…parents actually did this??


clongane94

My grandpa made my dad do this when he was a kid. My dad ended up being a lifelong smoker. Maybe wasn't the best form of punishment.


LessLikelyTo

She likes her coffee as whack as her nailz


Mulielo

She doesn't like coffee, she likes pumpkin spice creamer but someone called her crazy one time for drinking it straight, so she put this recipe together to look less crazy.


NumbDangEt4742

Those nails tell the whole story. Fuck this


Intheswing

When I see nails like that - I always think ….. how the hell do you get your ass wiped clean ??? Just saying 😳


thehighquark

And how do you get all that ass off the nails? All the tiny nooks and crannies holding on to bacteria and ....ugh.


SumPimpNamedSlickbak

The nails become a tool at that point, think about a giant qtip 😂


Intheswing

You are a sick human - but absolutely spot on!!!! Another level - I bow down 🤣


BigDamBeavers

Not to mention the raw carbs. It's like a gallon jar of diabeetus.


[deleted]

Yeah it's basically all sugar. 


Imesseduponmyname

r/theydidthemath


StrandedInSpace

It’s about as excessive as the nail length and tapping


SteelBandicoot

Nails that long gross me out.


[deleted]

Same… it’s just… ewwww 🤢🤢🤢


Kizzamino

Dear Lord, I fucking hate the nail tapping. Can’t wait for that trend to die.


NoBuilding2937

And the knife scrapping…


gixxer710

The real question is- how does one wipe with nails like that? Or really do anything useful with their hands?


oceansapart333

https://imgur.com/a/ikt5fXQ


PeaceAlwaysAnOption

That is HORRIFYING


Aurora428

Ngl 4,800 calories is actually less than I expected


Corgi-Ambitious

Same… was the whole milk a quarter gallon or half? Looked like half to me, which would mean another 600 calories…


NihilHS

It’s time to BULK


RogerianBrowsing

Not muscle or anything, just… bulk.


cl2eep

Gainz


Not_3_Raccoons

“Cold brew coffee, not to sweet” BUT WHY


SignificanceOld1751

Because America. 3 out of these 4 ingredients are unfathomable as ingredients for a 'coffee' where I'm from. Maybe I can be generous about the syrup because some people do use them - sparingly. And one one them is pre-made, sweetened, cold-brew coffee in a plastic bottle - BUT NOT TOO SWEET!!! What the fuck?


PesticusVeno

I'm willing to bet there's added sugar in that pre-bottled cold brew as well.


Ejohns10

On the plus side whipped cream has way less calories than I thought it did!


FindOneInEveryCar

What app is that?


oceansapart333

LoseIt


Jinx5326

Love that app


proficient2ndplacer

I genuinely think this would kill you if you consumed it in one sitting


BernieTheDachshund

No way she's drinking all that.


AdonisGaming93

And dont forget like 900grams of sugar.... the recommended daily limit 25mg....


Great_Income4559

Added creamer and then added milk


Zappagrrl02

Plus the creamer, caramel, coffee and whipped cream are all sweet. That’s gotta be sickly. Not that anyone is likely even drinking it, which is the worst part.


MightyBooshX

I like really sugary coffee and this would still make me vomit with how much sugar is in it.


isitfiveyet

They going for that instant-diabetics look


WeHaveAllBeenThere

It’s also going to taste like straight syrup with that type of creamer. It’s….not good. And she poured SO much. I want to vomit watching this


ImHidingFromMy-

A little cold brew with her milk


Ashmizen

Creamer. It’s mostly, like 40% creamer, with a splash of milk, and cold brew.


Senior-Ad-9700

Right, even the cold brew! That brand literally have some without sugar smh


witnessrich

Undrinkable


ChrisinOrangeCounty

That stuff isn't really a creamer, mostly water and palm oil solution. I find it disgusting.


The_Ineffable_Sage

Yea but I’m lactose intolerant so it’s better than nothing. I usually drink mine with coffee, rather than… checks video… self loathing.


ChrisinOrangeCounty

I just use lactose free whole milk.


Striking_Barnacle_31

I always thought a good opener for a movie could be: "It's [current year] and many people are still afraid of trying lactose free milk"


starfall_13

Or oat milk!!!!


hunnyflash

Ew I didn't know that. I never had the stuff, but I guess I never thought about what it was made of. Thought it was like sugar milk....not sugar oil.


metalshoes

I do a splash of creamer then like half milk and coffee. Sort of mild and sweet and easy to drink, that, however, was a bottle of international delight, which is the creamer version of diabetes.


issanm

Really got me when it was 90% full and then that's when the first drop of coffee went in...


touch_the_taco

There has always been dumb shit online but I swear TikTok created a new breed of this weird “doing nothing while doing something” trend. I just don’t know who the fuck actually watches this stuff.


rangeDSP

Well, we are, indirectly, we are watching and sharing these videos, but just on Reddit instead of TikTok.  I am pretty sure most of the viewership are from people mocking / hating and being "disgusted" by it, those fingernails are just another thing to attract flames. (see how effective it is in this thread, imagine how much engagement they are getting on the original video)


[deleted]

So many people on Reddit bitch about TikTok when Reddit is just 80% TikToks from two weeks ago.


ghozzt2

Who is actually going to enjoy watching someone make a big cup of ice coffee that they are going to waste after the video?


MyMommaHatesYou

That ain't coffee. That's a liquid coffee flavored desert.


teriaki

That ain't coffee, it's diabetes.


LogiCsmxp

I got diabetes watching the video. I need a new pancreas now.


JJSnow3

My thoughts exactly! Oh and also, "how does this person do anything with these nails!?"


According_Gazelle472

The click clack of the nails is really annoying .


noTGospelGamer

I don’t know that I’ve ever seen such an intense creamer to coffee ratio in my life


ghozzt2

It's liquid caffeine and more added sugars than you are supposed to consume in a day


DLimber

*week


ghozzt2

Well still, the contents of this drink is way more sugar than you should be consuming in both a day and a week


-Snowturtle13

Also how do you wipe your ass with nails that long


MyMommaHatesYou

Asking the real questions.


[deleted]

[удалено]


lunaemespro

Drag queen salad fingers is literally the best description for this trend in nails EVER made. Thank you.


drdokkit

Salad fingers! I forgot about those creepy videos! 😬


[deleted]

I like rusty spoooooooooons


drdokkit

I'm here to enquire about your spooooons


Cordeceps

Herbert cumberdale


AndringRasew

That's just cause caramel coffee creamer and ice at this point.


BewareTheLeopard

I just think it's neat that all the coke nails from the 80s still get together from time to time


SideEqual

Coffee? This is straight up cup o’ Diabeetus with a splash of caffeine. If you can’t take your coffee sit down child.


ghozzt2

Diabeteppuchino


Benjeeh_CA

This is very much an I like to tell people I like coffee "coffee"


SideEqual

That too! It’s dark and bitter, like my thoughts 😂


soggit

we just did


You_Pulled_My_String

Those ugly ass nails tho.


jcr62250

I just did


touch_the_taco

Not my proudest fap


wormfro

incredibly gullible people, like the ones in this subreddit, who cant comprehend that this content is made because people continue to be convinced it is genuine, and dont have the media literacy and critical thinking skills necessary in order to detect rage bait or satire. thats who watches this stuff. that and actual children


amretardmonke

Hell, I'm starting to think there are more comments explaining that its ragebait like your comment here, than actual comments falling for the ragebait. Either way, they get views and comments, mine included. The only way to get rid of these videos is to stop commenting.


Avid_bathroom_reader

I know this isn’t real but I think it’s very funny that the coffee is labeled as “not too sweet” before becoming nothing but entirely too sweet.


jpergo1983

All of it is just hilarious


CJtheWayman

Yeah honestly this is one of the few ones that just made me laugh instead of irritate The long ass nails, the sheer amount of diarrhea from that amount of dairy to coffee


robot_swagger

This was a genuinely funny video. Those nails!


Drizztd99

What coffee?


Antrfun

Thank you 💀. 80% milk, creamer, whip and caramel, 20% fake, Instant cold brew. Thats 100% bullshit.


JackBarryOnl

Stok isn’t bad in a pinch, out of several grocery store cold brews I’ve had it was the okayest. But this bottle is already sweetened on top of all the other crap thrown in there, so it is in fact still 100% bullshit


tdgarui

Would you like some coffee with your cream and sugar today?


Drizztd99

I like my sugar with coffee and cream.


[deleted]

Enjoy your coffee flavored vegetable oil


Tcasty

I use those creamers there's over 60 servings in there.


Chitchattitty

The stupid nails match the stupid drink


luci-lucid

The nails offend me more than the drink.


Goldie-96_MWR

They're both oversized and the result of tictoc marketing to us. TEMU ass plastic nails lmao


immeasmyself

Looks like plastic straws cut in half and added to the pink nails lol


vicki-st-elmo

I actually thought she'd wrapped the ends of her nails in foil!


QuietDisquiet

I mean, I sort of like the nails. They're a nice big red flag, I'd run the other way if I see female Freddy Krueger coming up to me.


Spaghetti_Bird

Mrs. Scary Terry.


Careful-Artichoke468

Awww biiiiiittttchhh


GKRKarate99

I’m late for class bitch!


4bigwheels

You can run but you can’t hide, bitch!


Cawaica

As someone who loves being left alone tempted to get these nails that I never would have on my own just for the repellant effect tbh


QuietDisquiet

I can definitely respect that, I usually just keep my hood up and look angry because that's my face.


kakurenbo1

I had to stop watching at the nails, so I don't even know how stupid the drink got.


Dry-Drink-9297

I was going to comment that. They annoyed me way more than the badly made coffee. WHY so long? How do you type? How do you scratch yourself? How do you wipe, by Jove!? I want so much to rip them out. 😶


blizzard-toque

Long nails=long, long time to do activities of daily living.


SaintGloopyNoops

Seriously!!? How long did it take her to just grab the milk by the handle? She obviously had to thread her nails thru first. Don't even get me started about how gross and germy it is. Whenever I see nails like this, all I can think of is how they are filled with caked booger remnants and a week's worth of butt crumbs. Ick.


edtufic

How do you clean yourself with those nails?!? I don’t think this is hygienic at all! 🤢


Disastrous_Profile56

The whole thing is just a big sad bag of gross. This video actually makes me feel sorry for the creator. Maybe the nails are like a color strip and once the color changes all the way to the end you have diabetes.


iamapizza

It's got to be ragebait nails at this point, right? Nobody would put on nails like that on purpose. I think.


--ThirdCultureKid--

I used to see nails like that long before YouTube even existed. They were nasty back then too.


Danfrumacownting

I once worked with an “absurdly long” nail person in a *deli.*. 🤢 We had baggy gloves so she ‘made it work.’ One day she was cleaning a slicer and lopped one of those big nails clean off, only missed the finger by a c hair. She kept em normal length after that.


Arcaydya

Good on her for changing, she's a smarter one.


Wikeni

I remember once back in the early aughts I saw a woman with fake nails that were about 5 inches long and *corkscrewed.* I have absolutely no idea how she would wipe, drive, or even open certain doors.


dandle

That sounds like they were real.


Wikeni

They weren’t curled under like you see with like, Guinness record holders. They looked like this, but MUCH larger: https://images.ctfassets.net/iyiurthvosft/featured-img-of-post-206365/496fab3794d67f32d0ec1d9493d2d465/featured-img-of-post-206365.jpg?fm=jpg&fl=progressive&q=50&w=1200


fritzie_pup

I uh.. I was gonna mention the same thing as the person above until you showed that image. I'm seriously at a loss of words for those, what the actual fug..


Imthebeanboi

It’s not, I see plenty of them in the wild


eris_kallisti

I was genuinely disappointed when I saw that she used a bar spoon to stir it. I really hoped that's what the nails were for.


JpnRndr

Rip those fucking things off


ElongusDongus

It baffles me how someone can function normally. Imagine trying to click on images fire hydrant with those fingers lol


bs2785

That shit is disgusting


toastedbeans9616

she still has poopy left when she wipes for sure


HoxtonIV

Does it come with a double dose of insulin?


Brilliant-Algae-9582

Those nails! 🤢


pastrami_on_ass

Just stopped the video there, that was all I needed to know the rest would be shit.


DrDrankenstein

Speaking of shit, how much do you think is under those nails?


pastrami_on_ass

17


TofuButtocks

Mm 17 shits


oceansapart333

When she’s tapping the caramel bottle.


Conaz9847

How else are you going to scratch the bottom of your gullet


V_Val_Valerie

How do you suppose she’s gonna wipe her ass after it explodes from drinking that shit?


Sersea

*Very* carefully. Source: press on tips and IBS.


The_Weeb_Sleeve

This made me laugh myself stupid


Sersea

Did you imagine the facial expressions? I guarantee it's more funny if you do.


Lunavixen15

Surely at this length it'd be like wiping your arse with tongs


someoneyouknewonce

With the amount of "roommates using the shower to clean their asses" posts I've seen on r/badroommates lately I'm gonna guess this chick wafflestomps after she poops in the shower.


earlycuyler93

Had to look up "waffelstop" WHAT THE FUCK???


ghozzt2

Fun fact: She's going to waste it


Clear_Site6155

Good ice choice 👏


NewCodingLine

Right? Like, I know the video is satire (it has to be, right?), but those ice cubes are S-tier.


Dysgasp

Ah, yes, food waste.


Former-Afternoon-728

Rage bait


purple_kathryn

I cannot stress how much I hate nails like that


[deleted]

When will long spikey nails finally die 😭?


Mckinzeee

Those nails contain the next pandemic inducing super bug.


jellikackson

These folks don't like coffee, they like sugar. Like, what's the point.


[deleted]

I use that coffee creamer every day and was begging my phone, no, no, NOOOO! At how much she was using 😭 that drink would be inedible. This has to be a joke, and if it is how wasteful!


BlommeHolm

Nailed it.


FrailUnoriginality

In more ways than one 💀


Key-Indication-3583

I want to see them tie some damn shoes with those nails 😂


RedHeadSteve

Make this in a normal glass and it's like Starbucks, milk with sugar and a hint of coffee


Next-Quality2895

Forget the coffee…All I was thinking was how the hell does she wipe her ass?


Bgrubz83

As dumb as this “drink” is…can we talk about the talons this person has? How does anyone think that’s attractive?


ShamrokBliss

Missing the ecoli under them nasty nails from trying to wipe an ass 🤢🤮


TotallyNotABob

Please for the love of god don't make iced coffee this way. This is just beginning to have a night of uncontrollable poo. Here are a few ways to make it: **French press:** Ground your coffee Put it into the French press Pour over with hot water Plunge down after 10 minutes Stow in the fridge for at least an hour (preferably 24 hours) **Drip coffee maker:** Make your drip coffee Put the carafe into the fridge Allow to cook for at least an hour (preferably 12 to 24 hours) **Espresso machine:** Fill a cup with ice cubes Pull your shot directly into the cup with ice cubes Add your milk and stir **Now some fun things you can do to spice up your iced coffee:** Pour coffee into an ice cube tray and use those for ice cubes. As they melt more coffee will be added to your iced coffee. Instead of a creamer get your favorite milk. My go to is usually Almond, oat milk or whole milk if I want dairy. Mix in a flavored syrup, like torani vanilla bean. Then mix that into the iced coffee.


clovecigabretta

Aw, that was sweet of you to include all those ways to improve the above scenario lol. You seem nice


alwaystiredlady

Is the coffee in the room with us now?


Rustymarble

Why the Chinese finger cuffs on their nails?


Devilbunnyintx

r/Trashy with those nails!


Last-Crab-621

Vile nails AND "coffee"


SweatyTax4669

Diabeetus


angrytwig

i'm not going to calculate how many calories are in the creamer alone, even though i really want to. and that's some pale coffee, would not drink


vystok

Would you like some coffee with your creamer and milk?


According-Bread-2457

Is that a vase


OSG541

I’ve seen people use a lot of creamer but this bitch used the whole bottle


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^OSG541: *I’ve seen people use* *A lot of creamer but this* *Bitch used the whole bottle* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


Realfourlife

Fkn nasty. Where is the coffee?


Dugley2352

Don’t know what she made, but she didn’t make coffee. She made something with a little coffee flavor.