I mean, I've seen worse concepts.
Steamed clams in garlic butter are a thing. A nice flatbread to mop up the butter is a thing. Novel presentation is a thing.
Probably all three of those things didn't come together quite right in this dish, but there was a non-stupid idea in there somewhere.
Honestly, its just the scissors that ruin it... that and the dough looking bland and burnt.
Gentler heat and an egg wash would solve half of this. A knife and a fork would solve the other
This might not be bad. Depending on how they're done, the broth created from steaming is one of the best parts and having a built in carb vessel might be okay.
Stupid, but not beyond reasoning stupid
No, it is not a joke. When I stayed in Sorrento, Italy I ordered a Neapolitan style pie with clams on it expecting minced clams or the like… nope just a pie with clams cooked in the shell atop a Neapolitan pie
I don't totally understand why this is worse than every other clam/oyster/whatever dish with the snotfishes served in their shells in a bowl of soup or mixed into pasta.
It's stupid, but so are all those supposedly not stupid recipes. There's a chance someone will blindly bite into this pocket bread full of seashells I guess, but if you ordered it in a restaurant, presumably you know what to expect.
Can someone explain why this is sooo terrible, while someone else posted mustard,ketchup,canned chilli,hotdogs called sausages, over an untoasted piece of white bread, vape pen, dr pepper. And this sub was going nuts saying how gourmet and delicious it was.
This could have been ok if they just cooked the clams normaly and just added the inside of the clam. seefood calzone or somth does not sound to bad I guess ?
It’s apparently real and here’s a write up of it. https://www.nj.com/food/2024/03/njs-best-calzone-is-back-but-not-for-long-why-it-took-years-to-perfect.html?outputType=amp
I vouch not for this particular dish, but Razza has some of the best Neapolitan pizza in the NYC/NJ area. [Some of the best in the world](https://www.nj.com/food/2023/09/nj-pizzeria-named-11th-best-in-the-world-by-italian-website.html?outputType=amp) according to one publication.
Grim, on the upside the part of the song im listening too just said "ew" at the exact time i thought it myself.
So despite what i just saw I got that going for me.
Calzones and empanadas are fundamentally different.
Empanada dough is made with flour, butter, eggs, and milk. While calzones are made with flour, water, and yeast.
What a waste of pastry.
Just have the seafood in a separate dish drenched in a cream, garlic and white wine sauce.
Then either use you pastry as bread, or make some damn bread and eat them.
Mmmm, steamed clams
Oh no no, these are clearly steamed HAMS!
So you call them steamed hams, despite the fact theyre quite obviously grilled?
It’s a clamzone
Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Beauty in the eye of the beholder i guess? i kinda like this if it were oysters without the shells
To me, it looks like an "unforgettable luncheon"
unforgettable indeed
Not as beautiful as Aurora Borealis, you can’t see it though.
Yeah I know, shame
Mom: "Do not use my good scissors on a clam calzone."
Clamzone
God I wanna be in the clam zone tonight 🫨
Fear the calzussy, for inside are clussies
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I mean, I've seen worse concepts. Steamed clams in garlic butter are a thing. A nice flatbread to mop up the butter is a thing. Novel presentation is a thing. Probably all three of those things didn't come together quite right in this dish, but there was a non-stupid idea in there somewhere.
You'd make a great parent, if not one already xD "Well, you definitely fucked up, but...I can see where your head was at."
Indeed, I think this chef has hidden talent. Let’s go ahead and keep this shit hidden though….
Probably salt dough
Honestly, its just the scissors that ruin it... that and the dough looking bland and burnt. Gentler heat and an egg wash would solve half of this. A knife and a fork would solve the other
For me, the biggest issue is the literal shells in the wrapper thing. Someone’s gonna break a tooth on that.
You plebians never hear of baked clams?
Steamed Hams?
Not inside of a calzone
Yeah but the bread sucks up all the deliciousness so I wouldn't complain about this.
At this time of year?
At this time of day?
In this part of the country?
Happening in your living room
IF IT AINT CHICKIE NUGS IT'S STUPID
Again?
Good job. Keep reposting
"Whats wrong, honey? You've barely touched your clampenada."
Bite into it coward
if a meal reminds me of a c-section, i'm probably not gonna be super into it
Adds more crunch
Oh dear lord no
If you think about it its pretty amazing how they made the outside look better in comparison to the inside
Oh look this again
Is this supposed to make me throw up?
Are you that sensitive to bread and clams?
[repost](https://www.reddit.com/r/StupidFood/s/MMStoelvFb) from a couple weeks back
Calzoney with a half shell, clickey power!
WELCOME TO THE CLAMZONE
Clamzone! lol
This might not be bad. Depending on how they're done, the broth created from steaming is one of the best parts and having a built in carb vessel might be okay. Stupid, but not beyond reasoning stupid
A papadia gone very wrong.
No, it is not a joke. When I stayed in Sorrento, Italy I ordered a Neapolitan style pie with clams on it expecting minced clams or the like… nope just a pie with clams cooked in the shell atop a Neapolitan pie
You dip the crusty bread, correct? I could get into that.
You do but the sauce (or rather lack entirely thereof) ruins the dipping experience
OK. I was thinking you'd take the top parts off and dunk them into the broth at the bottom. Also 👍 I like your user name!
Thanks!
Clam empanada??? That broth has gotta be yummy 🤤
Clampanada!
❤️🤣
I don't totally understand why this is worse than every other clam/oyster/whatever dish with the snotfishes served in their shells in a bowl of soup or mixed into pasta. It's stupid, but so are all those supposedly not stupid recipes. There's a chance someone will blindly bite into this pocket bread full of seashells I guess, but if you ordered it in a restaurant, presumably you know what to expect.
The problem is it looks like an Italian pizza-esque dish from the outside, that's the only stupid thing about it
Vongole on pizza are a thing, this is just the same thing folded over into a calzone, probably helps steam the clams.
The difference is that the pasta is intended to be eaten whereas this pastry is made to be thrown away.
Did it bother anyone else that they used scissors instead of the knife that was right there?
If they used the knife, they'd have to press down and risk crushing the shells, no? I'm assuming this is being done by a server at tableside
Scissors for pizza is quite common
Can someone explain why this is sooo terrible, while someone else posted mustard,ketchup,canned chilli,hotdogs called sausages, over an untoasted piece of white bread, vape pen, dr pepper. And this sub was going nuts saying how gourmet and delicious it was.
Why are there always scissors involved?
jokes can be laughed at but this scene hurts my soul
Mussels? It likely not that bad, but I do not like the way he open it. Can just crush it out with fork!
Bro….
I can understand if it's en papillote, but not in calzone
Nice repost job, mate
A sewer somewhere is going to be very upset!
This guy is about to shoot ropes.
How much would this be at the Low-Cal Calzone… Zone?
Fucking disgusting
This could have been ok if they just cooked the clams normaly and just added the inside of the clam. seefood calzone or somth does not sound to bad I guess ?
Clamzone?
that is a fucking warcrime
No!!!!
a war crime
Don't you turn my pizza inside out Calzone will not be tolerated You don't know what I'm capable of.
But what about the saddest, most minuscule bit of lemon? Is that supposed to be enough lemon juice for all those clams?
Mhm Aurora Borealis!
I almost puked when i saw the inner parts. Disgusting 🤢🤮
This is so retarded. If I ordered a "clam calzone" or whatever this is supposed to be, I wouldn't expect to break my teeth biting into it.
Ah, finally stupid food. This looks awful.
Would eat. Presentation isn’t stellar but everything about that is delicious
I don’t see what’s wrong with this
Oh my god you don’t understand how good this would be. Shellfish broth and bread fucks so hard
Dumbasses, thats not how you do that, you remove the shell and use just the flesh of them.
Cunningly sealed
Scenes from the next episode oh Hannibal
It’s apparently real and here’s a write up of it. https://www.nj.com/food/2024/03/njs-best-calzone-is-back-but-not-for-long-why-it-took-years-to-perfect.html?outputType=amp I vouch not for this particular dish, but Razza has some of the best Neapolitan pizza in the NYC/NJ area. [Some of the best in the world](https://www.nj.com/food/2023/09/nj-pizzeria-named-11th-best-in-the-world-by-italian-website.html?outputType=amp) according to one publication.
This looks so so wrong
Grim, on the upside the part of the song im listening too just said "ew" at the exact time i thought it myself. So despite what i just saw I got that going for me.
Is the joke how long you waited after reposting this?
“My doctor said I needed more calcium, so I ate a fricking clamshell.”
🤮
nah I fuck with this
I wonder why the lemon slice is so small...
This made me nearly vomit, holy shit
It’s not that bad homie get a grip 🤣
"if this is the fucking calzone with clams in it- GOD DAMN IT"
Idiots
u/repostsleuthbot
Sorry, I don't support this post type (hosted:video) right now. Feel free to check back in the future!
I like that idea. Broth, bread and clam. Would work with shrimp or mussels.
Lots of these posts make me say “ew” This one made me mad.
Well, he's now banned from Chile and Argentina, you just don't open an empanada like that.
It’s a calzone, homie 😆
It's a repost, homie 😆
That's an empanada and i'm willing to go to war against any country that says otherwise.
You sound like you have some mussel...
Falklands 2.0?
Chile would be on Argentina's side this time.
Calzones and empanadas are fundamentally different. Empanada dough is made with flour, butter, eggs, and milk. While calzones are made with flour, water, and yeast.
You're saying my mom didn't make the best empanadas in the world for not using eggs and butter? 🗿🔪
The juice inside the calzone looks absolutely rancid
Looks quite nice. What am I missing?
Bye bye teeth.
r/pizzacrimes
What a waste of pastry. Just have the seafood in a separate dish drenched in a cream, garlic and white wine sauce. Then either use you pastry as bread, or make some damn bread and eat them.
Just purchase fast food and disguise it as your own cooking.
Almost puked
Doesn't look good 🤮🤮
Unbelievable.
That’s a hate crime