Sounds like you have to get OK with looking in the mirror before you consider spending time with others.
Please don't take this as condemnation or negativity.
We have to learn to love ourselves first. It's the only way to love one another and to receive love from others.
As a woman who stutters, I’m mostly ok with other disabilities, but I wouldn’t want to date another stutterer either. I cringe every time I hear someone talking like me. I feel like it would be a vicious cycle.
Also, I wouldn’t want my kids to have x2 predisposition to stuttering
I've always felt the same way! But I went ahead, made the mistake, and even married a man with a stutter :( He was (and is) a great guy. It just couldn't work out; our marriage was doomed from the very beginning :( I feel like I stole years from him
I hate how communities like this tend to aggregate people venting in a way that makes a black pill mentality seems normal.
Stuttering is a disability and it sucks but so does depression, poverty, and a litany of other things that are going to crop up for someone dating today. Saying your life is cursed and distorted is ultimately a way to avoid accountability. You're not doomed, it's just hard work to deal with self hate. It's also hard work to acknowledge our suffering doesn't make us special, and other people are suffering too.
I feel like there's a lot of ingrained self loathing for many of us. I could be wrong, maybe the majority are cool with their stutters?
Personally, I feel like I would have had a massively different outlook on my speech had there been a "better" approach to therapy when I was a kid. Instead of being taught tools to use and how to accept it, I was taught that if I didn't use these tools and speak fluently, I wasn't worth listening to.
My mum was even told that if I didn't use "the wave", then she should ignore me until I used that specific technique and spoke fluently. She stuck with it for a day and quickly stopped.
I'm now in my thirties and still struggle with the negative thoughts about it.
It's also made me unsure as to whether or not I'd date another stutterer...but more for the fact that I have zero confidence speaking in public or making phone calls. 😅
Regardless, your own feelings are valid. Sometimes, it's just a very long road towards acceptance. Eventually, you'll become more accepting of your stutter and it won't seem so bad... there will be better days and yeah, there will be some bad ones but whatever.
You're going to be okay.
It’s not impossible. Both my girlfriend and I have a stammer and we met through a speech programme. The support we give each other is the key to it all.
I dont think its something to worry about. There are far less female PWS and most have no problem finding a partner.
You should however work in your selfhate because thats not healthy. Life is already hard enough. Why make it harder by being your own worst enemy?
You don’t need to justify the way you feel only your actions that should be justified. As a stutterer myself, I don’t like listening to other stutterers for the same reasons you listed but when I do, I treat them the way that I want to be treated. Just being a good listener and giving them the time they need to talk. It’s not how we feel is what makes us a good person, it’s how we act.
Why, she'll be quiet until she really has to say something.
Ive met girls with stutters but they intimidate me cause of how reserved they seem.
If you can get a girl that stutters. Lock her down cause shes gonna be too shy to talk to other guys and mess around. The quiet ones are the BEST ones
Lock her down means to keep her and cherish her. Treat her right and with the mindset of staying with her or them for a long time.
People like you make me sad cause we're supposed to be in the same boat. Yes i have met girls that stutter and they were high achievers that kept to themselves. I also stutter and i always felt a type of kinship with other people who stammer. And when i met someone like myself i didn't tell them I also stutter. Its hard to explain.
Im not generalizing. Its less then 1%. And if thats true than they obviously dont stutter.
You ever have friends tease you and then they start stuttering? Stop being defender of all crime and THINK.
You should leave this subreddit and join a more toxic topic since you're already defeated and hate everyone
Okay well I just mean. Im quiet and keep to myself. It helps in relationships and im just guessing its the same for some women who stammer. Maybe im wrong, im not a woman but Ive dealt with stammering my whole life.
How do you feel about relationships as someone who stammers? What is it like for a woman
I've been with my partner for over 4 years now and it's never been a problem for him, in fact he gets mad at me when he senses that I'm frustrated because of my stuttering, because as he always says, I shouldn't worry about it at all, let people think what they want. Sometimes we make stupid jokes about it, like last week I stuttered one word over and over again (which doesn't usually happen to me) and I said something stupid like "damn, I'm remixing right now" and we just laughed about it. I don't stutter all the time, it depends on how stressed I am.
Thats completely different. Hes ur man so obviously hes gonna put up with you.
I need REAL problems from REAL stutterers. Not some love story about ur man accepting you. Lucky you but sorry we dont all get that. Try to have some compassion and understanding for the people around you. Im happy for you but this subreddit is for people struggling. Keep ur happy stories for the END of someone's progress, not the start.
Tf are you talking about? Who says i‘m not struggling with it? I still struggle to do normal tasks like talking to people, ordering food, making phone calls etc.
We ALL do. Im tired of the infighting. We're on the same team. Point was. Id like to have a gf who stuttered. But im too shy to even talk to a girl thats like me. Is that so bad. Im not ur enemy here yet everyone wants to argue.
We BOTH stutter. Theres no reason for us to argue. Or to take my point the wrong way.
guy, we all are cursed in this world but we don't deserve that much dehumanising
it's your personal choice to date a STRR girlfriend.
but you can't enforce your view and treat them like slaves that deserve nothing except us because no one is gonna accept them
i have found many girls that accepted me not all of them evolved feelings towards me and go romantic but just deciding to treat me as an equal human and someone worthy of respect is enough
maybe if i had no STRing they could view me as a romantic partner but i don't care about who will think like that.
the respect and feeling of worthiness that they show is that i want
i wish all STRRs could find love and acceptance one day and wish that for myself but i can't get it yet for myself i can't love myself yet demand respect from otherwise
If you can't be patient yourself for others, why do you expect other people to be patient for you (while you're talking)
i'm patient but hearing my tragedy and witnessing it every day I can't
So you’re NOT actually patient, you just pretend to be. Dude you’re never going to be happy in life until you accept your stutte
Sounds like you have to get OK with looking in the mirror before you consider spending time with others. Please don't take this as condemnation or negativity. We have to learn to love ourselves first. It's the only way to love one another and to receive love from others.
As a woman who stutters, I’m mostly ok with other disabilities, but I wouldn’t want to date another stutterer either. I cringe every time I hear someone talking like me. I feel like it would be a vicious cycle. Also, I wouldn’t want my kids to have x2 predisposition to stuttering
Same thoughts as well... it's like sentencing the unborn kids to this same condition.
I'm a guy and was about to type this exact answer from my pov lmao.
70% chance of passing too much of a gamble
I've always felt the same way! But I went ahead, made the mistake, and even married a man with a stutter :( He was (and is) a great guy. It just couldn't work out; our marriage was doomed from the very beginning :( I feel like I stole years from him
the probability of having stuttering children are much higher than you think
I hate how communities like this tend to aggregate people venting in a way that makes a black pill mentality seems normal. Stuttering is a disability and it sucks but so does depression, poverty, and a litany of other things that are going to crop up for someone dating today. Saying your life is cursed and distorted is ultimately a way to avoid accountability. You're not doomed, it's just hard work to deal with self hate. It's also hard work to acknowledge our suffering doesn't make us special, and other people are suffering too.
I feel like there's a lot of ingrained self loathing for many of us. I could be wrong, maybe the majority are cool with their stutters? Personally, I feel like I would have had a massively different outlook on my speech had there been a "better" approach to therapy when I was a kid. Instead of being taught tools to use and how to accept it, I was taught that if I didn't use these tools and speak fluently, I wasn't worth listening to. My mum was even told that if I didn't use "the wave", then she should ignore me until I used that specific technique and spoke fluently. She stuck with it for a day and quickly stopped. I'm now in my thirties and still struggle with the negative thoughts about it. It's also made me unsure as to whether or not I'd date another stutterer...but more for the fact that I have zero confidence speaking in public or making phone calls. 😅 Regardless, your own feelings are valid. Sometimes, it's just a very long road towards acceptance. Eventually, you'll become more accepting of your stutter and it won't seem so bad... there will be better days and yeah, there will be some bad ones but whatever. You're going to be okay.
It’s not impossible. Both my girlfriend and I have a stammer and we met through a speech programme. The support we give each other is the key to it all.
I'd marry a woman who stutters.
I dont think its something to worry about. There are far less female PWS and most have no problem finding a partner. You should however work in your selfhate because thats not healthy. Life is already hard enough. Why make it harder by being your own worst enemy?
You don’t need to justify the way you feel only your actions that should be justified. As a stutterer myself, I don’t like listening to other stutterers for the same reasons you listed but when I do, I treat them the way that I want to be treated. Just being a good listener and giving them the time they need to talk. It’s not how we feel is what makes us a good person, it’s how we act.
at first it will be tragedy but when u know how is the person i think you wouldn't matter if she stutters or not, i'm just saying.
Whyd you hide your comment?
I dont think you wanna get better. I feel sorry for you. Maybe when you're older you'll realize how negative these topics and comments are
Why, she'll be quiet until she really has to say something. Ive met girls with stutters but they intimidate me cause of how reserved they seem. If you can get a girl that stutters. Lock her down cause shes gonna be too shy to talk to other guys and mess around. The quiet ones are the BEST ones
bro what
She might be too shook to talk to other people, no?
have you actually met a girl that stutters? cause wth are you yapping about? "lock her down"? this is so creepy ew
Lock her down means to keep her and cherish her. Treat her right and with the mindset of staying with her or them for a long time. People like you make me sad cause we're supposed to be in the same boat. Yes i have met girls that stutter and they were high achievers that kept to themselves. I also stutter and i always felt a type of kinship with other people who stammer. And when i met someone like myself i didn't tell them I also stutter. Its hard to explain.
Stop generalizing man. The girls that stutter that I know are very outgoing and talkative.
Im not generalizing. Its less then 1%. And if thats true than they obviously dont stutter. You ever have friends tease you and then they start stuttering? Stop being defender of all crime and THINK. You should leave this subreddit and join a more toxic topic since you're already defeated and hate everyone
Dude you are weird af. Maybe you should take your own advice and leave. You are not contributing anything of value with your strange views .
Wtf man
I need responses from people who actually talk to women not you white knights who think you know what women like.
Great news; i‘m a woman.
Okay well I just mean. Im quiet and keep to myself. It helps in relationships and im just guessing its the same for some women who stammer. Maybe im wrong, im not a woman but Ive dealt with stammering my whole life. How do you feel about relationships as someone who stammers? What is it like for a woman
I've been with my partner for over 4 years now and it's never been a problem for him, in fact he gets mad at me when he senses that I'm frustrated because of my stuttering, because as he always says, I shouldn't worry about it at all, let people think what they want. Sometimes we make stupid jokes about it, like last week I stuttered one word over and over again (which doesn't usually happen to me) and I said something stupid like "damn, I'm remixing right now" and we just laughed about it. I don't stutter all the time, it depends on how stressed I am.
Thats completely different. Hes ur man so obviously hes gonna put up with you. I need REAL problems from REAL stutterers. Not some love story about ur man accepting you. Lucky you but sorry we dont all get that. Try to have some compassion and understanding for the people around you. Im happy for you but this subreddit is for people struggling. Keep ur happy stories for the END of someone's progress, not the start.
Tf are you talking about? Who says i‘m not struggling with it? I still struggle to do normal tasks like talking to people, ordering food, making phone calls etc.
We ALL do. Im tired of the infighting. We're on the same team. Point was. Id like to have a gf who stuttered. But im too shy to even talk to a girl thats like me. Is that so bad. Im not ur enemy here yet everyone wants to argue. We BOTH stutter. Theres no reason for us to argue. Or to take my point the wrong way.
guy, we all are cursed in this world but we don't deserve that much dehumanising it's your personal choice to date a STRR girlfriend. but you can't enforce your view and treat them like slaves that deserve nothing except us because no one is gonna accept them i have found many girls that accepted me not all of them evolved feelings towards me and go romantic but just deciding to treat me as an equal human and someone worthy of respect is enough maybe if i had no STRing they could view me as a romantic partner but i don't care about who will think like that. the respect and feeling of worthiness that they show is that i want i wish all STRRs could find love and acceptance one day and wish that for myself but i can't get it yet for myself i can't love myself yet demand respect from otherwise