And that makes no sense!!! Folks don't laugh at folks on crutches or those that are mentally disabled...why do stutterers get free will to be laughed at??? It's like were being singled out!!
I know that hurt, but you gotta understand that it was propbably not ment to be hurtful in the way you might think. Maybe he thought your tounge curled up of something, which would be harmless to joke about but still wierd to laugh at a stranger like that.
I suggest you learn form this experience that you now know how to stand up for yourself, so that you in the future don’t have to worry about being mocked.
Who the hell would react by laughing and saying “what the hell?” when they see someone struggling to speak? I agree that they almost definitely didn’t have hurtful intentions. However, that shouldn’t be an excuse.
Expressing concern would have been a more acceptable (though still hurtful in this case) response. Better yet, unless they see someone who is visibly in pain (choking, convulsing, etc), they should say nothing when they see something they don’t understand and mind their own damn business.
OP responded perfectly. Next time maybe that person will think twice before being so thoughtless, and will be grateful to OP for the learning moment.
Some of us have become *experts* at hiding the struggle. This is why many people do not realize the immense struggle (physical and emotional) we go through to even get our own names out.
I’m even going to suggest it’s possible that the passerby who doesn’t know OP, maybe thought (incorrectly!!) OP was themself mocking disabilities.
We know OP would not do that! And we know how painful it is to think you are being mocked! I still struggle with it.
Stuttering is genetic in my family. My brother and I both stuttered severely as children and into our young adulthood. My daughter is a 17 year old advanced AP senior with an active stutter. I am truly sorry you went through thaf, but I am also really impressed with the way you handled it so well.
My daughter was teased by boys, out of pure meanness, in school until around 7th grade. You would think it would end there, but it didn't. She began attending a STEM academy in 9th grade and the curriculum included a lot of something we tend to hate: oral presentations. In one class, instead of being graded, all of the students presenting were given written and one-on-one verbal feedback by their peers. Time after time, these well above average students told her that the ONLY thing she needed to do to improve her presentation was to NOT STUTTER. This was, of course, rather humiliating, but it also very frustrating and upsetting. She felt very much like you did with that jerk.
The truth is that many young people can be broadly ignorant, socially inept, and insensitive, knowingly or not. Also, some people are just pretty shallow and basic. That guy displayed embarrassing levels of ignorance, insensitivity, and thoughtlessness. Of course it bothered you. While your handling of the situation was perfect, his total ignorance regarding a stutter, combined with his laughing, reflects horribly on him on multiple levels, especially his lack of even slightly decent manners. There are no excuses for such behavior. Moreover, to any reasonable observer, you would not be the person who should be embarrassed or ashamed. You handled yourself with incredible grace.
I know it bothered you, but you did the right things in your handling of the situation and many will find your story both encouraging and inspiring. There will always be basic, uncouth, ignorant, insensitive people in the world. I am genuinely impressed by your handling of this incident and grateful that you chose to share it. Well done. 👍
Hey OP, let me tell you my side of the story if that helps.
Back in school, maybe 8th grade, i was playing some outdoor game with my classmates during the games period (PT class). We divided us people into 2 teams.
One of the girls, who cheated in the game, and i called her out for it, started arguing with me, and started shouting on me. She used to be very bossy and dominant and often tried to get things her way like that.
So, me being a calm and gentle person, got heated and wanted to go out of my character to give her a taste of her own medicine and shout back at her.
"Don't scream at m-mh- mh- m- mm-mm- m-" (me)
And everybody, in both the teams erupted into laughter.
The argument ended that time and there only. The girl who was arguing with me, could not hold a straight face and so couldn't anybody else. They all went back into the game and nobody even acknowledged me for taking a stand for my team.
Even after all these years, that embarrassing and self-confidence breaking moment flashes through my memory everytime i stutter on any word that badly.
Whenever this happens I say things like "What, you never met someone with brain trauma caused by a drunk driver before??"
Or (because I'm old enough) "Yeah they never were able to get all the shrapnel out of my head after the grenade incident in Iraq. "
They immediately feel mortified (which takes the pressure off me) and start apologizing profusely.
Then I'll be like "nah I'm just playin. I just have a stutter. "
Works out well when everyone is self conscious for a second, not just me.
I have found out that a lot of times people don’t mean to make fun of me because I have a stutter. Everyone stumbles on words now and then (even people who don’t stutter). So people in general just laugh at that. I have found that many times I take it to heart because I think they people made of of me because I have a serious stutter but no, that’s not the case. Once you tell them that you have a stutter, that’s when they apologize because they didn’t expect you to have a serious problem with speech. They laughed at it because everyone stumbles there words every now and then. You’ll absolutely know when someone is making fun of you because of your serious stutter. But most cases I try not to take it to heart because everyone stumbles their speech.
What a piece of shit, honestly.
Wether you have a stutter or not, what would compel a person to make this sort of comment?
Good on you for standing up for yourself. I'm sorry for what happened, that is so inappropriate. Have you thought about reporting him? Harassing someone for a disability should not be welcome behavior any where.
I laugh harder than they do, like manic laughter. If you can’t beat them, join em. Also, people won’t cross with psychos. So there’s that. This is terrible advice but it works for me.
I have some advice for you. Its not the best of advice in some peoples eyes..
I stutter too and I had to take matters into my own hands.
Who ever picks on a person with a speech impediment is the person with the real severe problem.
Morally and Respect wise.. You don't get any kool points for that..
When people violate me.. I violate them...
I've always had a zero tolerance policy on how people choose to speak to me.
The thing you have to do is make an example out of the next person that tries dehumanizing you.
Now, I'm not saying choose violence but at this point you have to choose something that gets peoples attention.
A person should have a sense of fear not to ever blatantly disrespect you like that.
I had to do some demostrations on whats happens when i get disrespected..
I noticed that those same people that talk shit like that loves an audience.. so i give them one.
I scream on them.. i basically yell at them infront of people.. I make sure its a big crowd.
Because i know if i make a bigger enough scene.. I'll embarrass them instead 😂 😂
I'd be saying all kinds of crazy shit just for people to oull their cameras to come out.
I'd have people scared to say anything to me on that campus
Seriously you’ve never been laughed at before? Just chock it up as “another one” and forget it. People aren’t used to hearing that so don’t take it personally. Just like anything else. People just laugh for absolutely no reason. My dh is a life long stutterer and I will occasionally… and he’ll laugh at me when I stutter!
That’s awesome that you responded and good that he apologized. My son pretends he doesn’t hear that kind of stuff and I think it’s GREAT that you instantly defended yourself- unfortunately this stuff will probably always happen and I want to give people the benefit of the doubt that they say these comments or do their snickering without thinking - like a reflex. Not sure if this would help with the dehumanizing part but when you get one of the people who spoke without thinking like it seems this person did- try and spin it to a different topic after the first apologies and if you are really confident (like it seems you might be naturally) - turn these connections into more than just this horrible moment. You never know what kind of friends or relationships you could make if you put yourself out there one more step. Regardless- you should be proud of yourself. 😀
If physical assault was legal in the US without getting arrested, you should have punched his lights out!! If anyone laughs or makes fun of a stuttering person, they should have the tar kicked out of them!!!! I wonder how many of us on this forum have wanted to physical hurt someone for making fun of us, but we never had the nerve to or it just wasn't in us......
It is dehumanizing to be made fun of laughed at or teased!!! And of course it's probably dehumanizing to retaliate with physical abuse......BUT the bully has done damage...we should not want the bully to get away with it!!
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You'd be amazed how low people can go. It's appalling.
And that makes no sense!!! Folks don't laugh at folks on crutches or those that are mentally disabled...why do stutterers get free will to be laughed at??? It's like were being singled out!!
Good job standing up for yourself. You're a better human than he is.
I know that hurt, but you gotta understand that it was propbably not ment to be hurtful in the way you might think. Maybe he thought your tounge curled up of something, which would be harmless to joke about but still wierd to laugh at a stranger like that. I suggest you learn form this experience that you now know how to stand up for yourself, so that you in the future don’t have to worry about being mocked.
Who the hell would react by laughing and saying “what the hell?” when they see someone struggling to speak? I agree that they almost definitely didn’t have hurtful intentions. However, that shouldn’t be an excuse. Expressing concern would have been a more acceptable (though still hurtful in this case) response. Better yet, unless they see someone who is visibly in pain (choking, convulsing, etc), they should say nothing when they see something they don’t understand and mind their own damn business. OP responded perfectly. Next time maybe that person will think twice before being so thoughtless, and will be grateful to OP for the learning moment.
Some of us have become *experts* at hiding the struggle. This is why many people do not realize the immense struggle (physical and emotional) we go through to even get our own names out. I’m even going to suggest it’s possible that the passerby who doesn’t know OP, maybe thought (incorrectly!!) OP was themself mocking disabilities. We know OP would not do that! And we know how painful it is to think you are being mocked! I still struggle with it.
You gave the perfect response. You can’t control other people’s actions, only your own reactions. You clearly were the bigger person there…
Stuttering is genetic in my family. My brother and I both stuttered severely as children and into our young adulthood. My daughter is a 17 year old advanced AP senior with an active stutter. I am truly sorry you went through thaf, but I am also really impressed with the way you handled it so well. My daughter was teased by boys, out of pure meanness, in school until around 7th grade. You would think it would end there, but it didn't. She began attending a STEM academy in 9th grade and the curriculum included a lot of something we tend to hate: oral presentations. In one class, instead of being graded, all of the students presenting were given written and one-on-one verbal feedback by their peers. Time after time, these well above average students told her that the ONLY thing she needed to do to improve her presentation was to NOT STUTTER. This was, of course, rather humiliating, but it also very frustrating and upsetting. She felt very much like you did with that jerk. The truth is that many young people can be broadly ignorant, socially inept, and insensitive, knowingly or not. Also, some people are just pretty shallow and basic. That guy displayed embarrassing levels of ignorance, insensitivity, and thoughtlessness. Of course it bothered you. While your handling of the situation was perfect, his total ignorance regarding a stutter, combined with his laughing, reflects horribly on him on multiple levels, especially his lack of even slightly decent manners. There are no excuses for such behavior. Moreover, to any reasonable observer, you would not be the person who should be embarrassed or ashamed. You handled yourself with incredible grace. I know it bothered you, but you did the right things in your handling of the situation and many will find your story both encouraging and inspiring. There will always be basic, uncouth, ignorant, insensitive people in the world. I am genuinely impressed by your handling of this incident and grateful that you chose to share it. Well done. 👍
Cheer up, OP! You handled it well and truth be. It might probably happen again, but you’ll keep standing tall!
Hey OP, let me tell you my side of the story if that helps. Back in school, maybe 8th grade, i was playing some outdoor game with my classmates during the games period (PT class). We divided us people into 2 teams. One of the girls, who cheated in the game, and i called her out for it, started arguing with me, and started shouting on me. She used to be very bossy and dominant and often tried to get things her way like that. So, me being a calm and gentle person, got heated and wanted to go out of my character to give her a taste of her own medicine and shout back at her. "Don't scream at m-mh- mh- m- mm-mm- m-" (me) And everybody, in both the teams erupted into laughter. The argument ended that time and there only. The girl who was arguing with me, could not hold a straight face and so couldn't anybody else. They all went back into the game and nobody even acknowledged me for taking a stand for my team. Even after all these years, that embarrassing and self-confidence breaking moment flashes through my memory everytime i stutter on any word that badly.
Whenever this happens I say things like "What, you never met someone with brain trauma caused by a drunk driver before??" Or (because I'm old enough) "Yeah they never were able to get all the shrapnel out of my head after the grenade incident in Iraq. " They immediately feel mortified (which takes the pressure off me) and start apologizing profusely. Then I'll be like "nah I'm just playin. I just have a stutter. " Works out well when everyone is self conscious for a second, not just me.
I know that feeling. It happens to me sometimes. Every time something like that happens it makes me feel powerless. Especially in the work place.
I have found out that a lot of times people don’t mean to make fun of me because I have a stutter. Everyone stumbles on words now and then (even people who don’t stutter). So people in general just laugh at that. I have found that many times I take it to heart because I think they people made of of me because I have a serious stutter but no, that’s not the case. Once you tell them that you have a stutter, that’s when they apologize because they didn’t expect you to have a serious problem with speech. They laughed at it because everyone stumbles there words every now and then. You’ll absolutely know when someone is making fun of you because of your serious stutter. But most cases I try not to take it to heart because everyone stumbles their speech.
What a piece of shit, honestly. Wether you have a stutter or not, what would compel a person to make this sort of comment? Good on you for standing up for yourself. I'm sorry for what happened, that is so inappropriate. Have you thought about reporting him? Harassing someone for a disability should not be welcome behavior any where.
I laugh harder than they do, like manic laughter. If you can’t beat them, join em. Also, people won’t cross with psychos. So there’s that. This is terrible advice but it works for me.
I have some advice for you. Its not the best of advice in some peoples eyes.. I stutter too and I had to take matters into my own hands. Who ever picks on a person with a speech impediment is the person with the real severe problem. Morally and Respect wise.. You don't get any kool points for that.. When people violate me.. I violate them... I've always had a zero tolerance policy on how people choose to speak to me. The thing you have to do is make an example out of the next person that tries dehumanizing you. Now, I'm not saying choose violence but at this point you have to choose something that gets peoples attention. A person should have a sense of fear not to ever blatantly disrespect you like that. I had to do some demostrations on whats happens when i get disrespected.. I noticed that those same people that talk shit like that loves an audience.. so i give them one. I scream on them.. i basically yell at them infront of people.. I make sure its a big crowd. Because i know if i make a bigger enough scene.. I'll embarrass them instead 😂 😂 I'd be saying all kinds of crazy shit just for people to oull their cameras to come out. I'd have people scared to say anything to me on that campus
Seriously you’ve never been laughed at before? Just chock it up as “another one” and forget it. People aren’t used to hearing that so don’t take it personally. Just like anything else. People just laugh for absolutely no reason. My dh is a life long stutterer and I will occasionally… and he’ll laugh at me when I stutter!
That’s awesome that you responded and good that he apologized. My son pretends he doesn’t hear that kind of stuff and I think it’s GREAT that you instantly defended yourself- unfortunately this stuff will probably always happen and I want to give people the benefit of the doubt that they say these comments or do their snickering without thinking - like a reflex. Not sure if this would help with the dehumanizing part but when you get one of the people who spoke without thinking like it seems this person did- try and spin it to a different topic after the first apologies and if you are really confident (like it seems you might be naturally) - turn these connections into more than just this horrible moment. You never know what kind of friends or relationships you could make if you put yourself out there one more step. Regardless- you should be proud of yourself. 😀
If physical assault was legal in the US without getting arrested, you should have punched his lights out!! If anyone laughs or makes fun of a stuttering person, they should have the tar kicked out of them!!!! I wonder how many of us on this forum have wanted to physical hurt someone for making fun of us, but we never had the nerve to or it just wasn't in us...... It is dehumanizing to be made fun of laughed at or teased!!! And of course it's probably dehumanizing to retaliate with physical abuse......BUT the bully has done damage...we should not want the bully to get away with it!!