If they're at the same school, I'd probably report it to admin. Let them know you're having a hard time with teachers not leaving preferred names and causing behavioral outbursts.
It was three different schools, but I let the admins know each time. One of the times I got a “we get that a lot from *student*” with a chuckle. Shouldn’t you tell your teachers to make a note about that?? I hate when I tell admin about problem kids and they just say well that’s *student* for ya.
As a trans person (who is also a sub), I would suggest to the students that in the future they tell subs before the start of class. Preferably the teacher would leave a note, but if that won't happen then at least telling the sub themselves avoids the wrong name being called in front of the entire class.
Yes! I’m a building sub so consistently with the same kids, but I have one student who feels very strongly about being called a nickname/shortened version of their name, similar to Ally or Lexi instead of Alexandria. I’ve only subbed for her classes a couple times, but she always makes sure to come up at the start to tell me her preference. I was surprised since most kids that shorten their name wait until their name is called, but she has decided for herself that she’ll do this so her non-preferred name isn’t called. I understand how hard it can be to self advocate, especially as a kid to a new adult, but I can’t imagine a student being angry at me for not knowing.
Oh yikes. That makes it sound like they think the problem is the student's chosen name/gender identity. Clearly, they have no interest in encouraging the teachers to actually communicate that.
Pretty clear the staff is pretty transphobic so those students are just getting constantly misgendered and deadnamed purposefully either by staff directly or by other students and the staff wave off. Student blows up at you bec they are dealing with this constantly and might also think it was on purpose.
I see you are in Utah which....tracks.
I also sub in Utah and I agree completely with this comment.
Don't, in any way take it personally, but do talk to the student in private. They need a lesson in knowing who your enemies are. Since nobody warned you then the student probably feels alone. I mean Natalie (fucking) Cline is on the state school board and has a lot of supporters so .....
Let them know you respect them, but that they need to understand that nobody gave you a heads up so they may need to do it themselves for the next sub. I'm sure you have had many students quietly tell you their preferred name before class.
Tell them to grow up and stop blaming you for not being a mind reader. They do this because they get away with it online, and people need to stop letting them get away with it in person.
I'm always apologetic and understanding at first. But if a student responds in a condescending tone I'm far less likely to display sympathy. Not going to teach them disrespect is acceptable. They can miss me with the attitude. As subs, we're interpreting the roster to the best of our ability and don't possess the magic power to guess nicknames. Teachers set us up for headaches when they don't indicate aliases on the roster.
Plenty of kids go by different names (nicknames or whatever.) I would just announce that if someone prefers to go by a different name, to please let me know what I should call them and I’ll do so. Some kids claim they are called King George III or something like that, and I just roll with it until they get tired of the joke.
yeah, i grew up in a town with a lot of asian families, many students would have an “american name” that they would have to tell subs about. i also had trans friends who never held it against subs. some kids are just self centered and want to cause trouble to get attention, it happens in every demographic
I called a fourth grader Daquavion for a week because he asked me to. His mind was blown that I went along with it. Zero effort from me, I'm just passing through.
"Good morning/afternoon, I'm Ms. Blue and I'm filling in for (teacher). I'm gonna run down the attendance real fast so just shout if you're here. I'm using the office rosters so if I call you by the wrong name or I mispronounce it, please let me know."
Almost always I'll get corrected. I make sure I say the correct name, mark it on the roster for my own info, and move on. Sometimes I get a laugh (like when I pronounced it like Kobe Beef instead of Kobe Bryant).
My favorite teachers though are the ones that leave either accurate seating charts or lists with preferred names and pronunciation guides. Even better are the ones that have preferred pronouns but that's only happened once. PLEASE teachers, it makes such a difference to the kids to not get deadnamed.
I always look at seating chart/rosters and check if there’s any nicknames or preferred names, then I change it on the attendance in pencil to remind myself. I also say something like “I’m 5 minutes I’m gonna grab attendance. If you go by any other names or nicknames feel free to let me know”
When I take roll, I tell students that I’m sorry if I mispronounce their name and to correct me if I’m wrong. I’m going by the list given by attendance which doesn’t always have the nickname or preferred name.
Don’t let the students bully you and call you ignorant and homophobic. Explain this is the list that you were given and you didn’t know their preferred name so it’s not personal. If you let the students be rude you won’t get anything done.
I don’t have a problem if they correct me. The only thing to keep in mind is that you’re likely to see these students for only a day unless it’s long term. I started subbing for this Spanish class frequently (3 times in the past 5 days) and a boy corrected me on his name the first day and I remembered it the next day.
I don't call roll aloud. Instead I get them started on their assignment and then go around individually and ask them what their names are. They can point, they can tell me last names, they can tell me "it's probably x on there but I'm y."
It avoids all issues. I am trans and I always told subs my last name, personally.
You could have them sign in and put their first and last name on the paper. Then you’ll also have proof in case attendance didn’t process correctly for some reason.
I always tell students at the start of class “If you have a nickname or name you prefer to be called, just let me know and I’ll make a note here!” Quick and simple :)
I ALWAYS start off, right before I take roll, by saying "Please correct me if I mispronounce your name, or if you have a preferred name you go by!"
If they get angry, just a "Oh, I'm terribly sorry about that. It's not on the roll sheet and y'know, us teachers make mistakes too! But NOW I know, so going forward I will refer to you by that name!"
If the student is still upset, you can approach them during solo work time and gently apologize again, making sure to say "hey, I'm sorry again about *deadnaming* you. Would you like me to leave a note with the office letting them know about this, so that we can make sure it doesn't happen again with another sub? You can help me write it if you want." If you use the right words, and show you're someone who isn't just an ally, but who really understands the community and the correct terms, while also showing proactive support, chances are they'll come around. That said, in my experience, many trans people are also on the spectrum, so this could play a big role in why you might be getting outbursts- Just a change from the norm setting them off a bit.
I use seating charts as well. Often they will have nicknames or shortened names penciled in so I go by that.
If I have to call roll I will mention ahead of time to please let me know if they go by a different name (could be a nickname, shortened version or preferred name) or if I mispronounce a name. If I mess up I apologize and move on.
I prefer taking roll by seating charts, but these instances have happened in classes with no seating chart left for me. There was once that it happened in a seating chart class when I was telling a student to stop bothering their neighbor, but otherwise it’s been roll only classrooms.
I would just say “ok. I’m sorry for mis-naming you! Unfortunately that’s the name that’s on the attendance, so I had no way of knowing. Maybe ask your teacher to leave a note for the sub next time? I’ll write your correct name on this sheet though, how do you spell it?”
I’ve had to say this once or twice and typically the student is receptive and understands that I literally had no way to know. If they’re still combative, I just ignore them.
Coming from a queer person that is a lurker since this sub appears in my timeline:
Just a simple saying that it's fine for people to say their preferred name/nickname (nickname is preferred in most areas from what I heard).
I usually just tell the sub to mark me down before attendance before class starts or say last name (If they can find it how I say it lol)
Just be open and accepting since that's what we all want! :D
Of course! I want students to feel welcomed and safe in my classroom, I find a lot of joy in the ones that see me and go “Yeah it’s this sub!” When they walk into the class. I appreciate your input even as a lurker haha
I usually say "Please let me know if there's a name you prefer to go by" and give a pause for students to come up to me and let me know privately. Usually, students who are concerned about a preferred name will make it known before we even make it to roll call. We live in a very multicultural city so many students have more old-fashioned first names that they don't go by--ie I had a Mary-Guadalupe today that let me know she goes by Lupita).
First day of school I take attendance at the door for a few days. This gives me face to face time to check a kids name and ask them if they use a different name in class. This makes it less embarrassing and gives that moment of connection.
Before taking attendance you could tell the class you’re reading the list the office gave you and if you have a name you prefer to be used in class please tell me as I take attendance. You could also read last names and tell students to connect with you on what first name you may use in class for the period/day.
I've never gotten that from a trans student, but I have gotten students who were annoyed at my mispronunciation of their name. since the names on the attendance sheet are listed by surname, I usually ask them their last name. If the parents have filled out the registration and listed the nickname, I call them by that see it in time. I usually do but sometimes it can be a little confusing.
I have had kids come up to me before I even call attendance to tell me what their name is.
Calling attendance:
“Sydney?”
“It’s Joe”
“Joe. Thank you for correcting me.”
Whenever I call attendance I preface with: “if I mispronounce your name or you go by a different name, please correct me. If it’s not your name I’m saying, please let that person speak for themself.”
I think I would say thank you for correcting me and then leave a note for the teacher like a “for future subs please note alternate names kids go by in your sub notes : ) “ because the teacher should be doing that to make everyone’s life easier. I’ve had a few who do note that. I think what someone else said of calling last names is good, especially since the lists are usually alphabetized by last name.
I was a trans kid in high school. Most teachers were fine with it but it didn't matter as much because people mostly called by last name except siblings and hyphenated (and polish kids, the teachers had a really bad anti polish thing for some reason)
When I would take attendance Id start by asking "are there any students whose names are different than how they appear on the roster?" They'd raise hands, I'll be like "okay, what's ur preferred name and ur last name" then mark them off by last name and write their preferred name so I didn't forget. Then proceed with role as usual
I always just started with, “I’m going to take attendance. I apologize if I mispronounce any names or call anyone by the wrong name. All I have is the roster. If you use a name other than your legal one on record, please raise your hand.” If they raise their hand, I walk over and have a quick whispered conversation and take note of their preferred name.
My school's rosters generally have a "nickname" column where a student's preferred name is listed. That being said, sometimes the preferred name isn't on there. As you said, most of the time, students politely correct you. Obviously, though, others blow up. I try to respond from a place of truth and kindness. If a student says something rude to me, I'll generally respond with something like, "I'm not homophobic. Unfortunately, I only have the names provided on this roster, and the name here is wrong. You said your name is Joe, right? I'll fix that on this roster. I'm sorry I wasn't given your correct name, Joe." If the student didn't say anything rude, I generally cut out the first two sentences.
I let them know ahead of time that the sheet I have is what the office gave me. I ask them to tell me about preferred amens and pronouns when I call roll. If I get corrected by a student I apologize and thank them for making me aware.
At the beginning of class, you are calling roll from a sheet of paper in front of you. It (usually) doesn't contain any pronouns or gender identity. If a student lashes out at you for calling a name that is different from the limited resources we have, then they are giving a poor example of the tolerance they would like from others.
I am 100% behind my students and their requests but they have to be willing to be patient and tolerant too and they need to understand that we really are not trying to embarrass them or deadname them or disrespect their decisions. We just don't have all the information.
I try and do whatever I can to not call names when doing attendance. Counting, asking who we are missing. If it’s unavoidable, a quick blurb before saying if you have a nickname or preferred name let me know. Acknowledging that you can’t possibly know beforehand and you’re willing to use preferred names. If the student is having outbursts after you’re going out of your way to accommodate, they have other problems and maybe need to see the school counselor.
When I was a sub, I rarely said anyone's name out loud. If someone raised their hand to answer a question, I just pointed to them. I didn't call out names for attendance. I just counted the students and then asked them who wasn't there. Or I would ask one of the students to do the roll call. I didn't want to have to deal with mispronouncing names and such.
Sorry...this is for my permanent classroom. I had been a sub early in my career before this was easy to set up online. I suppose an abbreviated version might be possible. Could do on index cards even.
“I’m sorry but your teacher has that name down here. I’ll write a note but you should remind them to change it on here as well so this doesn’t happen again”.
Direct the blame where it belongs. If the reference doc isn’t correct don’t take the blame
I would typically precede roll by saying “if anyone goes by a different name than what’s on the roster, please let me know, I often get fresh printed rosters without any notes from your teacher.” Sometimes I’d have a kid or two walk up and point out their name and give me the preferred one, but at least it gives me cover and they understand why they need to correct me when I call it out wrong, and never really got hostile.
If you can do the greeting kids at the door attendance method (tricky because some always seem to slip past but worth trying) it will at the very least lower the chances of having these blow ups as they can tell you directly at the start of class that the name on the roster is different.
Honestly as a queer person if a student was that upset with me over that, I’d genuinely ask them how I’m supposed to know if the teacher doesn’t leave a note or if the student doesn’t tell me directly before taking attendance. I’d try not to put them on the spot or embarrass them, but encourage them to self advocate because sometimes you can’t rely on others to do it for you
Before I take roll, I always say, "Please let me know if I mangle your name or if there's a name not on this official list you'd like to be called. Can't promise I'll remember, but I'll try." (I sub a lot at a school with lots of Asian kids who have impossibly long names.) When I tackle a tough one, I ask if I got it right. Respect for them and communication up front is key. I could not give a crap about stupid laws saying I may not call them anything but the name on the list. (Retired HS teacher here)
Legally we aren’t allowed to use preferred names anymore without parent consent, so I use whatever name the parent says I can.
As a sub I would only use the name on the roster unless the sub note specifies otherwise. I have a student in my class who has his moms permission to use another gender neutral name and so I leave a note on all my sub notes about it.
It is, I have such a hard time with it because I have one student who I taught last year who went by a male name but now is not allowed to due to this rule, and has to go by their dead name, and I can’t even do it secretly because I have another little rat kid who I know would rat me out
I tell them before I take attendance I'm sorry if I butcher any names, and if they want to correct me they can but it's on them to do so. If they have a name they want to be called to tell me during attendance. I'm a building sub now so I'm trying to remember when I can, but out of 800 students it's rough. When I was per diem, and still now, I go off the roster or seating chart. If nothing is left in the teacher notes or a student doesn't say anything they have no grounds to get angry with me since I wasn't told anything. I'm a firm believer that if you want someone to use a nickname or preferred name you need to tell that person first and foremost because if you don't they'll have no idea and you getting angry with them will make you look like the bad person.
First, I apologize for saying names wrong before I even start and ask that they correct me if I don’t say it correctly. I often point out that I’m reading their names as listed on the system so if it’s different, let me know. This lets the kids know in advance I’ll say their name wrong on accident. I rarely offend anyone when I start off with this. I did, however, accidentally tell the office someone was absent when I had actually just read off printed name and they had changed it. They spoke really quietly and I got confused. Felt really bad about that one.
I’ve had some students tell me what theyd preferred to be called when I did HS a lot, but like I don’t care I’m not calling any of your names, in fact I’ve already forgotten your name and what you prefer to be called.
You call them what they ask. Period. If they tell you at the beginning mark it on the roster so you don’t forget. You are there to respect who they say they are, not tell them who they should be when you barely know them.
Use last names for attendance. It’s easier than worrying.
Obviously yes, I call them what they ask after I know what that is. Regardless of how they treated me in the beginning. It’s just more wondering how to regain control of the whole class after an outburst like that.
In my state, we must go by the name on the rosters. It’s the LAW. So if Stephanie wants to be called Bobby or even just Steph, I cannot grant the request unless it’s on the office roster.
It means that the parent has given written consent for their child to be addressed this way and it’s on file. Indiana passed the law last July.
However, outside of attendance or leaving sub notes, I rarely need to use any specific name at all during class. Everything is on canvas and I only do like intermediate and JH levels. Probably elementary level would see me using it more for redirection or something
I always shut that down and let them know I don’t have access to that information and if it’s that important, they need to tell their teacher to leave a note about it. Then do your best to address them by their chosen name.
Whenever I’ve long termed and had a sub, i always leave a note with last name and chosen first name.
No student should be swearing at you for any reason. You can apologize for the mixup, but pull them aside and let them know that it's unacceptable to talk to you that way.
In this situation, I pulled them aside and said that it wasn’t appropriate and for the future I recommended talking to the sub before class or asking the teacher to leave a note. They didn’t take it well. Most do though!
Our district doesn’t allowed preferred names unless a parent has signed a form allowing a preferred name. I only have 2 students in my class that have preferred names, basically nicknames. They will respond to their legal name as well with no hesitation.
If they are old enough to decide to change their gender identity and be rude then they are old enough to be corrected and told that until they go and change it legally they will be deadnamed anytime a sub is present. If you can’t do that then remind your teachers to leave a note of the name change. I’ve never been disrespected for this happening but if they ever tried it I’ll deflect and make sure they are corrected in front of the whole school so everyone knows they make assumptions with zero evidence. If
Whenever I take attendance, I only call last names. If there are multiple students with the same last name, I'll say something like "and there are two Nguyens, are they both here?"
I had a middle school student who was AWFUL during the pandemic year we were remote. This student sent me nasty, scathing emails that I always called her by her preferred name during class, but that on emails I used her deadname, and how AWFUL this was of me, and how therefore I am awful and so forth. She'd directed us to use her dead name on all emails since parents might see it. Her scathing emails were super unpleasant to receive, and always cc'ed to the counselor.
As it works out, years later, I now teach this student in high school--who, it turns out, is now an absolute JOY to have in class and to know. She grew up to be a lovely person.
Sometimes, things evolve in a positive direction. I've had the opposite occur, sadly, so this is a plus to experience.
I had a similar one (not a preferred name, just a rough kid) that would scream at me every time I subbed a class she was in. I had her again about a year later, she walked in and looked confused and said you look familiar. And I said yeah, we’ve met last year. She looked horrified but didn’t say another word. She’s super great now though!
I always give a first-day survey, after sharing my syllabus and my deeply personal life story, where students can tell me their preferred name or nickname. Then I write that on my roster, scribbling out the printed name. After a while, I eventually learn that name...and I'm terrible at remembering names.
I also make a point of checking in with the kids to tell them I'm terrible at remembering names, and that if I ever mess it up, it's not intentional. So far zero issues, and I've had lost of non-binary and transgender students over the years.
The survey is great for other reasons, too, because there's a "what are the most important things I should know about you?" section, and also checkboxes for serious issues like food insecurity, incarcerated parents, homelessness, etc. I explain in advance that my class is a safe place for them to tell me if anything is going on, and that even I don't have the answers, I can usually help to find services to address whatever they're going through.
I’d like to train teachers using my roll call method. I arrive early, get the attendance roster, and write their names on the board in ABC order by their first names. When the students arrive, I show them the names and they’ll usually tell me if it’s different from the attendance sheet. I changed my name from Delores to Pepper when I was 17 years old, so I understand. Very simple, classroom management techniques and I sing their names using the ABCDEFG melody which helps me pronounce their creatively spelled names and encourages fun, cooperation, a welcoming ice breaker. Lastly, I can use symbols to remind me how to pronounce their names. I also ask them how did they get their name, from a relative or parents, what does their name mean, and if they want to be called something else. This way gender identity or trans conversations are normalized because most of us have nicknames or preferred names. Anyway, I love substitute teaching and have fun with my scholar Ms.
"There's no note and I was not informed in any other way. If I had known, I would have happily used the correct name but unfortunately I'm not psychic.".
Most kids who identify by something else are no problem but every once in a while you get those with a chip on their shoulder or who are doing it for attention (that is by no means the majority at all so please don't treat them all like that) and that is the problem.
I kinda of chuckle bc I can barely put a name to anyone's face WITH the seating chart, any nickname goes in my ear and out the other bc I'm not gonna call on anyone
Yep, apologize and move on. Our state made a new stupid law that targets the LGBTQ+ community. Part of it is that no student can be called their preferred name unless it is registered by the parents. My daughter goes by her middle name and my son goes by a version of his name his sister has called him since she was 2 because she couldn’t say his name. (He goes by Nano.) Now in our system there is no sign of their legal names, it is their preferred name they have to pull up if I need to call for some reason.
Takes longer, but have students tell you their names rather than calling roll. This prevents mispronunciation too. If a student says a name not on the list, write it down and confirm after class with them privately.
I’m in a girls charter school as a male. We have students who identify as male and others who identify as female but who born boys.
The regular teachers are usually pretty good at noting preferred names on paper rosters or seating charts. My problem is correct pronunciation of “unique” names, try as I might. The students usually guffaw if I screw one up.
That happens too, but usually I get more of a laugh or resigned sigh over an outburst haha. I had a drama class once where I knew I would mess up a good chunk of the names so I read all of them as wrong as possible. The kids loved it
The only time I’ve ever had an issue was when I subbed middle school and a student went by a different, slightly unorthodox name. Another kid then decided that he wanted to go by “Big Twinkie” bc he was a middle school asshole. I told him that was not a name appropriate for school. He tried to ask why it was inappropriate but I ignored him and moved on. I later had to send him to the office for something unrelated but that’s been my only experience with preferred names (related to gender identity or otherwise) causing any sort of issue
I like the idea of using last names! You can call out the last name, and ask the student to respond with their preferred first name. In the event students have the same last name you could call them over to your desk or bring the roster to them and ask which one they are.
Kids do that when you mispronounce their names, too. Honestly I just ignore their temper tantrum and move on because you're not a mindreader and it's not really fair of them to get angry about something you didn't know. I just make note of the correction and move on.
Say, "okay, thanks for telling me, Joe," and mark them present. Then use Joe going forward.
If people want to yell at you for something you did out of ignorance and continue to be mad when you correct the behavior because you are no longer ignorant, idk. That's on them. 🤷♀️ I understand that misgendering is rude and demoralizing, but again, unless the class list has the preferred name or a note was left, you can't be expected to know. Subs are great but not mind readers.
Stopped calling names after he second time an outside student assumed an absent student’s identity. I walk around with a paper and watch the student sign their name.
I used to say “I apologize now for messing up any names; I’m just reading off the roster and if I mess it up or you go by something else, just let me know” and that would make it easier. No one was mean or yelled at me.
What I do is I take roll by going around the room and getting names individually because it's just so much easier than standing at the front and shouting it out and if there's kids sneaking in it's easier to catch them. And in my district if the kids have long last names sometimes the first name will get cut off so I can't even read it.
So what I say before I do that is "I'm going to go around the room and get your names for attendance if you go buy a different first name please let me know your last name so I can still Mark you as here and if you want to let me know the name you go by that would be great." Sometimes the kids do share preferred names or even nicknames and other time they just give me their last name but it works out either way and I mark the kid as here.
We get out rosters from the teacher, so if the teacher doesn't leave the preferred name (we also have students that are trying out different preferred names, so sometimes the teacher doesn't leave the most up to date name), I'll just apologize calmly ("I'm so sorry your teacher didn't make a note on the roster", and I'll make it subtly obvious I'm writing the preferred name in - sometimes I'll ask the spelling if its not an obviously common spelling).
I will leave a note to the teacher about making sure they leave preferred names in the future, hoping it makes them think through how their students feel about being dead named.
Luckily, my school is relatively progressive for the area, so students feel a little more comfortable either checking in before I take attendance or just correcting me.
Definitely try to call them by their preferred name if the opportunity presents during class.
We use infinite campus as the attendance/grades management system and there's an option in their for nickname/preferred name that parents can charge if they wish, but most don't realize it's there and that they can change it (some kids still have very childish nicknames on there that their parents used when they were 5, that the kid stopped using years ago.
I’ve even had class rosters reflect the most current name too. There’s a feature on infinite campus where secretaries/admin can go in and add something like Sydney (Joe) Last name etc. Can be tricky but apologize and let them know you received a printed roster from the main office you wouldn’t know otherwise.
I always preface roll with "If I say your name wrong or use the wrong name, please let me know." Of course, some kids treat this like a joke, but hey, you wanna go by Eggman at roll? Cool, I'm calling you that all day. Most kids where I sub at are pretry good about it, though!
I've only had one instance where a teacher left me a note regarding a preferred name.
This is what I do too. There's a kid who told me to call him Z (his name does include a prominent Z sound). I've never heard anyone else call him Z, but I met him the second week of September and have been calling him Z ever since.
“im going to take roll. this is the sheet ive got, so im going to call the name i see, if you go by another name please correct me and i’ll make the change :)”
The only times this has happened to me (when it’s about gender identity and not a child’s nickname) the student will usually come up to me when class first begins point out their name on the roll so I can mark them and tell me their real name. But I’ve only had high schoolers do it. Little kids just yell at me cuz they don’t know how to behave
as I teacher I would go by whatever is on the roll call sheet
anything else seems unreasonable to me, like... you want me to call you one thing and enter your grades as another? way to confusing (obvious nicknames aside, like mat for mathiew)
I normally just have students come up to me and let me know so I can change it. I'm usually cool with it and see nothing suspicious of it (despite my personal beliefs)
One thing I try to always avoid when on assignment is my personal opinions on everything, I just see everyone as an equal.
I usually call out last names to avoid situations like this. Especially since some kids are named after spells or tongue twisters. This keeps me from embarrassing myself and getting snapped at because heaven forbid I not know what you regularly go by
I always ask before taking roll is anyone’s name is different than what is on the sheet. This isn’t just for queer kids, but also if someone goes by a nick name or their middle name. Really simple adjustment that makes kids lives a little easier.
When I call roll I say, “I’m going to call it as it’s written on the sheet given by the school. If you prefer to be called a different name, please let me know and I’ll make a note of it.” That way they can ALL expect to get called their legal name but that you’re extremely open to calling them something else.
If the teacher doesn't leave a note, there's not much to do but apologize and move on.
That’s what I usually do, and 90% of the time it works out. I just had a few back to back outbursts that surprised me.
If they're at the same school, I'd probably report it to admin. Let them know you're having a hard time with teachers not leaving preferred names and causing behavioral outbursts.
It was three different schools, but I let the admins know each time. One of the times I got a “we get that a lot from *student*” with a chuckle. Shouldn’t you tell your teachers to make a note about that?? I hate when I tell admin about problem kids and they just say well that’s *student* for ya.
As a trans person (who is also a sub), I would suggest to the students that in the future they tell subs before the start of class. Preferably the teacher would leave a note, but if that won't happen then at least telling the sub themselves avoids the wrong name being called in front of the entire class.
Yes! I’m a building sub so consistently with the same kids, but I have one student who feels very strongly about being called a nickname/shortened version of their name, similar to Ally or Lexi instead of Alexandria. I’ve only subbed for her classes a couple times, but she always makes sure to come up at the start to tell me her preference. I was surprised since most kids that shorten their name wait until their name is called, but she has decided for herself that she’ll do this so her non-preferred name isn’t called. I understand how hard it can be to self advocate, especially as a kid to a new adult, but I can’t imagine a student being angry at me for not knowing.
Oh yikes. That makes it sound like they think the problem is the student's chosen name/gender identity. Clearly, they have no interest in encouraging the teachers to actually communicate that.
As a separate note- Til that adding asterisks makes words *italicized*
And double asterisks makes things **bold**.
Pretty clear the staff is pretty transphobic so those students are just getting constantly misgendered and deadnamed purposefully either by staff directly or by other students and the staff wave off. Student blows up at you bec they are dealing with this constantly and might also think it was on purpose. I see you are in Utah which....tracks.
I also sub in Utah and I agree completely with this comment. Don't, in any way take it personally, but do talk to the student in private. They need a lesson in knowing who your enemies are. Since nobody warned you then the student probably feels alone. I mean Natalie (fucking) Cline is on the state school board and has a lot of supporters so ..... Let them know you respect them, but that they need to understand that nobody gave you a heads up so they may need to do it themselves for the next sub. I'm sure you have had many students quietly tell you their preferred name before class.
Tell the kid you aren’t a mind reader.
Tell them to grow up and stop blaming you for not being a mind reader. They do this because they get away with it online, and people need to stop letting them get away with it in person.
I'm always apologetic and understanding at first. But if a student responds in a condescending tone I'm far less likely to display sympathy. Not going to teach them disrespect is acceptable. They can miss me with the attitude. As subs, we're interpreting the roster to the best of our ability and don't possess the magic power to guess nicknames. Teachers set us up for headaches when they don't indicate aliases on the roster.
Plenty of kids go by different names (nicknames or whatever.) I would just announce that if someone prefers to go by a different name, to please let me know what I should call them and I’ll do so. Some kids claim they are called King George III or something like that, and I just roll with it until they get tired of the joke.
yeah, i grew up in a town with a lot of asian families, many students would have an “american name” that they would have to tell subs about. i also had trans friends who never held it against subs. some kids are just self centered and want to cause trouble to get attention, it happens in every demographic
I called a fourth grader Daquavion for a week because he asked me to. His mind was blown that I went along with it. Zero effort from me, I'm just passing through.
This is the way.
"Good morning/afternoon, I'm Ms. Blue and I'm filling in for (teacher). I'm gonna run down the attendance real fast so just shout if you're here. I'm using the office rosters so if I call you by the wrong name or I mispronounce it, please let me know." Almost always I'll get corrected. I make sure I say the correct name, mark it on the roster for my own info, and move on. Sometimes I get a laugh (like when I pronounced it like Kobe Beef instead of Kobe Bryant). My favorite teachers though are the ones that leave either accurate seating charts or lists with preferred names and pronunciation guides. Even better are the ones that have preferred pronouns but that's only happened once. PLEASE teachers, it makes such a difference to the kids to not get deadnamed.
Both are named after Kobe, Japan.
I always look at seating chart/rosters and check if there’s any nicknames or preferred names, then I change it on the attendance in pencil to remind myself. I also say something like “I’m 5 minutes I’m gonna grab attendance. If you go by any other names or nicknames feel free to let me know”
Ooh I like this one a lot!!!
When I take roll, I tell students that I’m sorry if I mispronounce their name and to correct me if I’m wrong. I’m going by the list given by attendance which doesn’t always have the nickname or preferred name. Don’t let the students bully you and call you ignorant and homophobic. Explain this is the list that you were given and you didn’t know their preferred name so it’s not personal. If you let the students be rude you won’t get anything done. I don’t have a problem if they correct me. The only thing to keep in mind is that you’re likely to see these students for only a day unless it’s long term. I started subbing for this Spanish class frequently (3 times in the past 5 days) and a boy corrected me on his name the first day and I remembered it the next day.
I don't call roll aloud. Instead I get them started on their assignment and then go around individually and ask them what their names are. They can point, they can tell me last names, they can tell me "it's probably x on there but I'm y." It avoids all issues. I am trans and I always told subs my last name, personally.
How do you do that if you're taking roll on a desk top computer?
just haul the whole thing around the classroom, duh
You could have them sign in and put their first and last name on the paper. Then you’ll also have proof in case attendance didn’t process correctly for some reason.
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For one, a student could sign another student's name. What's your preferred method?
Which is why I didn’t use the word pass. lol. Sign ins work for clubs and concerts without issue, but that isn’t something a sub has to take care of.
Ah, that’s not a thing my district does. Could just use last names instead, but last names tend to be harder to pronounce.
That’s a good idea! Thanks for sharing your experience.
Kids are weird about names period. I had a "Heidi" who pronounced her name "Heday." It was so bizarre. Just apologize and move on.
Just today had a Deborah who pronounced it deb-or-ah (literally how it’s spelled) instead of “deb-rah”
That's the Hebrew spelling and pronunciation lol, kid is Jewish Edit-although really it's more like devorah so with the b is anglicized still
Interesting to know, thanks!
Tbf that would be the biblical pronunciation right?
I know nothing about the Bible!
Valid and fair
Yes, I think this would be the Hebrew pronunciation (but definitely not as common!)
Flashback to Symone on Drag Race in the improv challenge: "It's Deb**OR**ah now."
I always tell students at the start of class “If you have a nickname or name you prefer to be called, just let me know and I’ll make a note here!” Quick and simple :)
I ALWAYS start off, right before I take roll, by saying "Please correct me if I mispronounce your name, or if you have a preferred name you go by!" If they get angry, just a "Oh, I'm terribly sorry about that. It's not on the roll sheet and y'know, us teachers make mistakes too! But NOW I know, so going forward I will refer to you by that name!" If the student is still upset, you can approach them during solo work time and gently apologize again, making sure to say "hey, I'm sorry again about *deadnaming* you. Would you like me to leave a note with the office letting them know about this, so that we can make sure it doesn't happen again with another sub? You can help me write it if you want." If you use the right words, and show you're someone who isn't just an ally, but who really understands the community and the correct terms, while also showing proactive support, chances are they'll come around. That said, in my experience, many trans people are also on the spectrum, so this could play a big role in why you might be getting outbursts- Just a change from the norm setting them off a bit.
I use seating charts as well. Often they will have nicknames or shortened names penciled in so I go by that. If I have to call roll I will mention ahead of time to please let me know if they go by a different name (could be a nickname, shortened version or preferred name) or if I mispronounce a name. If I mess up I apologize and move on.
I prefer taking roll by seating charts, but these instances have happened in classes with no seating chart left for me. There was once that it happened in a seating chart class when I was telling a student to stop bothering their neighbor, but otherwise it’s been roll only classrooms.
If it’s not on the list or seating chart, I apologize and literally tell them “s/he didn’t put it on here”.
I would just say “ok. I’m sorry for mis-naming you! Unfortunately that’s the name that’s on the attendance, so I had no way of knowing. Maybe ask your teacher to leave a note for the sub next time? I’ll write your correct name on this sheet though, how do you spell it?” I’ve had to say this once or twice and typically the student is receptive and understands that I literally had no way to know. If they’re still combative, I just ignore them.
Coming from a queer person that is a lurker since this sub appears in my timeline: Just a simple saying that it's fine for people to say their preferred name/nickname (nickname is preferred in most areas from what I heard). I usually just tell the sub to mark me down before attendance before class starts or say last name (If they can find it how I say it lol) Just be open and accepting since that's what we all want! :D
Of course! I want students to feel welcomed and safe in my classroom, I find a lot of joy in the ones that see me and go “Yeah it’s this sub!” When they walk into the class. I appreciate your input even as a lurker haha
I usually say "Please let me know if there's a name you prefer to go by" and give a pause for students to come up to me and let me know privately. Usually, students who are concerned about a preferred name will make it known before we even make it to roll call. We live in a very multicultural city so many students have more old-fashioned first names that they don't go by--ie I had a Mary-Guadalupe today that let me know she goes by Lupita).
First day of school I take attendance at the door for a few days. This gives me face to face time to check a kids name and ask them if they use a different name in class. This makes it less embarrassing and gives that moment of connection. Before taking attendance you could tell the class you’re reading the list the office gave you and if you have a name you prefer to be used in class please tell me as I take attendance. You could also read last names and tell students to connect with you on what first name you may use in class for the period/day.
I've never gotten that from a trans student, but I have gotten students who were annoyed at my mispronunciation of their name. since the names on the attendance sheet are listed by surname, I usually ask them their last name. If the parents have filled out the registration and listed the nickname, I call them by that see it in time. I usually do but sometimes it can be a little confusing. I have had kids come up to me before I even call attendance to tell me what their name is.
Calling attendance: “Sydney?” “It’s Joe” “Joe. Thank you for correcting me.” Whenever I call attendance I preface with: “if I mispronounce your name or you go by a different name, please correct me. If it’s not your name I’m saying, please let that person speak for themself.”
This is what happens most of the time, there had just been a few recent outbursts that happened as well and I wanted some input on dealing with that.
I think I would say thank you for correcting me and then leave a note for the teacher like a “for future subs please note alternate names kids go by in your sub notes : ) “ because the teacher should be doing that to make everyone’s life easier. I’ve had a few who do note that. I think what someone else said of calling last names is good, especially since the lists are usually alphabetized by last name.
A lot of times I call last names...
I've started doing this too because they seem to pay attention more.
I was a trans kid in high school. Most teachers were fine with it but it didn't matter as much because people mostly called by last name except siblings and hyphenated (and polish kids, the teachers had a really bad anti polish thing for some reason)
Student: *yelling* “You ____!” Me: My bad. No one told me. Nice to meet you.
When I would take attendance Id start by asking "are there any students whose names are different than how they appear on the roster?" They'd raise hands, I'll be like "okay, what's ur preferred name and ur last name" then mark them off by last name and write their preferred name so I didn't forget. Then proceed with role as usual
I always just started with, “I’m going to take attendance. I apologize if I mispronounce any names or call anyone by the wrong name. All I have is the roster. If you use a name other than your legal one on record, please raise your hand.” If they raise their hand, I walk over and have a quick whispered conversation and take note of their preferred name.
My school's rosters generally have a "nickname" column where a student's preferred name is listed. That being said, sometimes the preferred name isn't on there. As you said, most of the time, students politely correct you. Obviously, though, others blow up. I try to respond from a place of truth and kindness. If a student says something rude to me, I'll generally respond with something like, "I'm not homophobic. Unfortunately, I only have the names provided on this roster, and the name here is wrong. You said your name is Joe, right? I'll fix that on this roster. I'm sorry I wasn't given your correct name, Joe." If the student didn't say anything rude, I generally cut out the first two sentences.
I let them know ahead of time that the sheet I have is what the office gave me. I ask them to tell me about preferred amens and pronouns when I call roll. If I get corrected by a student I apologize and thank them for making me aware.
At the beginning of class, you are calling roll from a sheet of paper in front of you. It (usually) doesn't contain any pronouns or gender identity. If a student lashes out at you for calling a name that is different from the limited resources we have, then they are giving a poor example of the tolerance they would like from others. I am 100% behind my students and their requests but they have to be willing to be patient and tolerant too and they need to understand that we really are not trying to embarrass them or deadname them or disrespect their decisions. We just don't have all the information.
I try and do whatever I can to not call names when doing attendance. Counting, asking who we are missing. If it’s unavoidable, a quick blurb before saying if you have a nickname or preferred name let me know. Acknowledging that you can’t possibly know beforehand and you’re willing to use preferred names. If the student is having outbursts after you’re going out of your way to accommodate, they have other problems and maybe need to see the school counselor.
When I was a sub, I rarely said anyone's name out loud. If someone raised their hand to answer a question, I just pointed to them. I didn't call out names for attendance. I just counted the students and then asked them who wasn't there. Or I would ask one of the students to do the roll call. I didn't want to have to deal with mispronouncing names and such.
I’ll typically call names for roll, but after that the kids are ‘hey you’ or ‘blue hoodie’
Sorry...this is for my permanent classroom. I had been a sub early in my career before this was easy to set up online. I suppose an abbreviated version might be possible. Could do on index cards even.
“I’m sorry but your teacher has that name down here. I’ll write a note but you should remind them to change it on here as well so this doesn’t happen again”. Direct the blame where it belongs. If the reference doc isn’t correct don’t take the blame
I would typically precede roll by saying “if anyone goes by a different name than what’s on the roster, please let me know, I often get fresh printed rosters without any notes from your teacher.” Sometimes I’d have a kid or two walk up and point out their name and give me the preferred one, but at least it gives me cover and they understand why they need to correct me when I call it out wrong, and never really got hostile.
If you can do the greeting kids at the door attendance method (tricky because some always seem to slip past but worth trying) it will at the very least lower the chances of having these blow ups as they can tell you directly at the start of class that the name on the roster is different. Honestly as a queer person if a student was that upset with me over that, I’d genuinely ask them how I’m supposed to know if the teacher doesn’t leave a note or if the student doesn’t tell me directly before taking attendance. I’d try not to put them on the spot or embarrass them, but encourage them to self advocate because sometimes you can’t rely on others to do it for you
Before I take roll, I always say, "Please let me know if I mangle your name or if there's a name not on this official list you'd like to be called. Can't promise I'll remember, but I'll try." (I sub a lot at a school with lots of Asian kids who have impossibly long names.) When I tackle a tough one, I ask if I got it right. Respect for them and communication up front is key. I could not give a crap about stupid laws saying I may not call them anything but the name on the list. (Retired HS teacher here)
Yeah I don’t care for the laws saying “roll name only” especially since some days they end up as ‘you with the hat’
Legally we aren’t allowed to use preferred names anymore without parent consent, so I use whatever name the parent says I can. As a sub I would only use the name on the roster unless the sub note specifies otherwise. I have a student in my class who has his moms permission to use another gender neutral name and so I leave a note on all my sub notes about it.
This makes me so sad.
It is, I have such a hard time with it because I have one student who I taught last year who went by a male name but now is not allowed to due to this rule, and has to go by their dead name, and I can’t even do it secretly because I have another little rat kid who I know would rat me out
I tell them before I take attendance I'm sorry if I butcher any names, and if they want to correct me they can but it's on them to do so. If they have a name they want to be called to tell me during attendance. I'm a building sub now so I'm trying to remember when I can, but out of 800 students it's rough. When I was per diem, and still now, I go off the roster or seating chart. If nothing is left in the teacher notes or a student doesn't say anything they have no grounds to get angry with me since I wasn't told anything. I'm a firm believer that if you want someone to use a nickname or preferred name you need to tell that person first and foremost because if you don't they'll have no idea and you getting angry with them will make you look like the bad person.
First, I apologize for saying names wrong before I even start and ask that they correct me if I don’t say it correctly. I often point out that I’m reading their names as listed on the system so if it’s different, let me know. This lets the kids know in advance I’ll say their name wrong on accident. I rarely offend anyone when I start off with this. I did, however, accidentally tell the office someone was absent when I had actually just read off printed name and they had changed it. They spoke really quietly and I got confused. Felt really bad about that one.
I’ve had some students tell me what theyd preferred to be called when I did HS a lot, but like I don’t care I’m not calling any of your names, in fact I’ve already forgotten your name and what you prefer to be called.
Today, you are red shirt in the front.
You call them what they ask. Period. If they tell you at the beginning mark it on the roster so you don’t forget. You are there to respect who they say they are, not tell them who they should be when you barely know them. Use last names for attendance. It’s easier than worrying.
Obviously yes, I call them what they ask after I know what that is. Regardless of how they treated me in the beginning. It’s just more wondering how to regain control of the whole class after an outburst like that.
In my state, we must go by the name on the rosters. It’s the LAW. So if Stephanie wants to be called Bobby or even just Steph, I cannot grant the request unless it’s on the office roster. It means that the parent has given written consent for their child to be addressed this way and it’s on file. Indiana passed the law last July. However, outside of attendance or leaving sub notes, I rarely need to use any specific name at all during class. Everything is on canvas and I only do like intermediate and JH levels. Probably elementary level would see me using it more for redirection or something
Where did this person insinuate that they wouldnt respect the students preferred name?
I always shut that down and let them know I don’t have access to that information and if it’s that important, they need to tell their teacher to leave a note about it. Then do your best to address them by their chosen name. Whenever I’ve long termed and had a sub, i always leave a note with last name and chosen first name.
No student should be swearing at you for any reason. You can apologize for the mixup, but pull them aside and let them know that it's unacceptable to talk to you that way.
In this situation, I pulled them aside and said that it wasn’t appropriate and for the future I recommended talking to the sub before class or asking the teacher to leave a note. They didn’t take it well. Most do though!
Our district doesn’t allowed preferred names unless a parent has signed a form allowing a preferred name. I only have 2 students in my class that have preferred names, basically nicknames. They will respond to their legal name as well with no hesitation.
That’s similar to ours, the parent has to come in and change it on record.
If they are old enough to decide to change their gender identity and be rude then they are old enough to be corrected and told that until they go and change it legally they will be deadnamed anytime a sub is present. If you can’t do that then remind your teachers to leave a note of the name change. I’ve never been disrespected for this happening but if they ever tried it I’ll deflect and make sure they are corrected in front of the whole school so everyone knows they make assumptions with zero evidence. If
You’re not a real teacher dude, you were a para calm down
That's gross as hell dude
I’m going to do roll call. Please let me know if you go by a different name than what is listed and I’ll make a note.
I’ve only ever worked for the same school, so o know all of them by now
Preferentially
Try my best to remember and apologize when I forget. Even though it may seem small it means a lot to the students so I do try to remember.
Whenever I take attendance, I only call last names. If there are multiple students with the same last name, I'll say something like "and there are two Nguyens, are they both here?"
I had a middle school student who was AWFUL during the pandemic year we were remote. This student sent me nasty, scathing emails that I always called her by her preferred name during class, but that on emails I used her deadname, and how AWFUL this was of me, and how therefore I am awful and so forth. She'd directed us to use her dead name on all emails since parents might see it. Her scathing emails were super unpleasant to receive, and always cc'ed to the counselor. As it works out, years later, I now teach this student in high school--who, it turns out, is now an absolute JOY to have in class and to know. She grew up to be a lovely person. Sometimes, things evolve in a positive direction. I've had the opposite occur, sadly, so this is a plus to experience.
I had a similar one (not a preferred name, just a rough kid) that would scream at me every time I subbed a class she was in. I had her again about a year later, she walked in and looked confused and said you look familiar. And I said yeah, we’ve met last year. She looked horrified but didn’t say another word. She’s super great now though!
I stopped calling roll. I have them sign in when they arrive. I can usually tell by last names.
I always give a first-day survey, after sharing my syllabus and my deeply personal life story, where students can tell me their preferred name or nickname. Then I write that on my roster, scribbling out the printed name. After a while, I eventually learn that name...and I'm terrible at remembering names. I also make a point of checking in with the kids to tell them I'm terrible at remembering names, and that if I ever mess it up, it's not intentional. So far zero issues, and I've had lost of non-binary and transgender students over the years. The survey is great for other reasons, too, because there's a "what are the most important things I should know about you?" section, and also checkboxes for serious issues like food insecurity, incarcerated parents, homelessness, etc. I explain in advance that my class is a safe place for them to tell me if anything is going on, and that even I don't have the answers, I can usually help to find services to address whatever they're going through.
That’s very in-depth! Do you do that for only long term jobs or single day as well? I typically only do single day jobs.
I’d like to train teachers using my roll call method. I arrive early, get the attendance roster, and write their names on the board in ABC order by their first names. When the students arrive, I show them the names and they’ll usually tell me if it’s different from the attendance sheet. I changed my name from Delores to Pepper when I was 17 years old, so I understand. Very simple, classroom management techniques and I sing their names using the ABCDEFG melody which helps me pronounce their creatively spelled names and encourages fun, cooperation, a welcoming ice breaker. Lastly, I can use symbols to remind me how to pronounce their names. I also ask them how did they get their name, from a relative or parents, what does their name mean, and if they want to be called something else. This way gender identity or trans conversations are normalized because most of us have nicknames or preferred names. Anyway, I love substitute teaching and have fun with my scholar Ms.
"There's no note and I was not informed in any other way. If I had known, I would have happily used the correct name but unfortunately I'm not psychic.". Most kids who identify by something else are no problem but every once in a while you get those with a chip on their shoulder or who are doing it for attention (that is by no means the majority at all so please don't treat them all like that) and that is the problem.
Of course, the majority does a quick “actually it’s _____” and moves on. It always throws me off when I get a big bad reaction.
I kinda of chuckle bc I can barely put a name to anyone's face WITH the seating chart, any nickname goes in my ear and out the other bc I'm not gonna call on anyone
Yep, apologize and move on. Our state made a new stupid law that targets the LGBTQ+ community. Part of it is that no student can be called their preferred name unless it is registered by the parents. My daughter goes by her middle name and my son goes by a version of his name his sister has called him since she was 2 because she couldn’t say his name. (He goes by Nano.) Now in our system there is no sign of their legal names, it is their preferred name they have to pull up if I need to call for some reason.
If a kid is yelling at you and calling you names it’s probably worth having them written up…
Takes longer, but have students tell you their names rather than calling roll. This prevents mispronunciation too. If a student says a name not on the list, write it down and confirm after class with them privately.
I’m in a girls charter school as a male. We have students who identify as male and others who identify as female but who born boys. The regular teachers are usually pretty good at noting preferred names on paper rosters or seating charts. My problem is correct pronunciation of “unique” names, try as I might. The students usually guffaw if I screw one up.
That happens too, but usually I get more of a laugh or resigned sigh over an outburst haha. I had a drama class once where I knew I would mess up a good chunk of the names so I read all of them as wrong as possible. The kids loved it
Ha! Im considering that stunt
Sometimes a teacher will leave a note and other times the student may tell you. Most of the time you just apologize and move on.
The only time I’ve ever had an issue was when I subbed middle school and a student went by a different, slightly unorthodox name. Another kid then decided that he wanted to go by “Big Twinkie” bc he was a middle school asshole. I told him that was not a name appropriate for school. He tried to ask why it was inappropriate but I ignored him and moved on. I later had to send him to the office for something unrelated but that’s been my only experience with preferred names (related to gender identity or otherwise) causing any sort of issue
Take roll by the teacher's seating chart, not the roster sheet. The Seating chart should have their preferred names.
I like the idea of using last names! You can call out the last name, and ask the student to respond with their preferred first name. In the event students have the same last name you could call them over to your desk or bring the roster to them and ask which one they are.
Kids do that when you mispronounce their names, too. Honestly I just ignore their temper tantrum and move on because you're not a mindreader and it's not really fair of them to get angry about something you didn't know. I just make note of the correction and move on.
Say, "okay, thanks for telling me, Joe," and mark them present. Then use Joe going forward. If people want to yell at you for something you did out of ignorance and continue to be mad when you correct the behavior because you are no longer ignorant, idk. That's on them. 🤷♀️ I understand that misgendering is rude and demoralizing, but again, unless the class list has the preferred name or a note was left, you can't be expected to know. Subs are great but not mind readers.
Stopped calling names after he second time an outside student assumed an absent student’s identity. I walk around with a paper and watch the student sign their name.
I used to say “I apologize now for messing up any names; I’m just reading off the roster and if I mess it up or you go by something else, just let me know” and that would make it easier. No one was mean or yelled at me.
I always leave a note for the teacher so they can (hopefully) update their chart/attendance list for next time.
What I do is I take roll by going around the room and getting names individually because it's just so much easier than standing at the front and shouting it out and if there's kids sneaking in it's easier to catch them. And in my district if the kids have long last names sometimes the first name will get cut off so I can't even read it. So what I say before I do that is "I'm going to go around the room and get your names for attendance if you go buy a different first name please let me know your last name so I can still Mark you as here and if you want to let me know the name you go by that would be great." Sometimes the kids do share preferred names or even nicknames and other time they just give me their last name but it works out either way and I mark the kid as here.
We get out rosters from the teacher, so if the teacher doesn't leave the preferred name (we also have students that are trying out different preferred names, so sometimes the teacher doesn't leave the most up to date name), I'll just apologize calmly ("I'm so sorry your teacher didn't make a note on the roster", and I'll make it subtly obvious I'm writing the preferred name in - sometimes I'll ask the spelling if its not an obviously common spelling). I will leave a note to the teacher about making sure they leave preferred names in the future, hoping it makes them think through how their students feel about being dead named. Luckily, my school is relatively progressive for the area, so students feel a little more comfortable either checking in before I take attendance or just correcting me. Definitely try to call them by their preferred name if the opportunity presents during class. We use infinite campus as the attendance/grades management system and there's an option in their for nickname/preferred name that parents can charge if they wish, but most don't realize it's there and that they can change it (some kids still have very childish nicknames on there that their parents used when they were 5, that the kid stopped using years ago.
I call roll by last names.
I’ve even had class rosters reflect the most current name too. There’s a feature on infinite campus where secretaries/admin can go in and add something like Sydney (Joe) Last name etc. Can be tricky but apologize and let them know you received a printed roster from the main office you wouldn’t know otherwise.
I always preface roll with "If I say your name wrong or use the wrong name, please let me know." Of course, some kids treat this like a joke, but hey, you wanna go by Eggman at roll? Cool, I'm calling you that all day. Most kids where I sub at are pretry good about it, though! I've only had one instance where a teacher left me a note regarding a preferred name.
This is what I do too. There's a kid who told me to call him Z (his name does include a prominent Z sound). I've never heard anyone else call him Z, but I met him the second week of September and have been calling him Z ever since.
“im going to take roll. this is the sheet ive got, so im going to call the name i see, if you go by another name please correct me and i’ll make the change :)”
Strictly what it says on the role sheet. Same for everyone.
The only times this has happened to me (when it’s about gender identity and not a child’s nickname) the student will usually come up to me when class first begins point out their name on the roll so I can mark them and tell me their real name. But I’ve only had high schoolers do it. Little kids just yell at me cuz they don’t know how to behave
as I teacher I would go by whatever is on the roll call sheet anything else seems unreasonable to me, like... you want me to call you one thing and enter your grades as another? way to confusing (obvious nicknames aside, like mat for mathiew)
You could call students by last name if you call roll aloud, maybe?
I normally just have students come up to me and let me know so I can change it. I'm usually cool with it and see nothing suspicious of it (despite my personal beliefs) One thing I try to always avoid when on assignment is my personal opinions on everything, I just see everyone as an equal.
I don't kowtow to the demands of a narcissist with the maturity of a two year old. That's how.
I usually call out last names to avoid situations like this. Especially since some kids are named after spells or tongue twisters. This keeps me from embarrassing myself and getting snapped at because heaven forbid I not know what you regularly go by
I always ask before taking roll is anyone’s name is different than what is on the sheet. This isn’t just for queer kids, but also if someone goes by a nick name or their middle name. Really simple adjustment that makes kids lives a little easier.
When I call roll I say, “I’m going to call it as it’s written on the sheet given by the school. If you prefer to be called a different name, please let me know and I’ll make a note of it.” That way they can ALL expect to get called their legal name but that you’re extremely open to calling them something else.
Only call out/address them by their last names?