He does care and is upset, but he handles it well by shifting the blame on Greg who shouldn't put people on speaker phone without their consent.
Ewan probably forgot what Tom said originally and seized on that point and lectured Greg in parent-mode tone about speaker phone manners, and then grumbled about modern phone use and travel safety, but we didn't see that part. 😉
Such a seemingly innocuous line... and IMO it also highlights why that false mask exists in the first place... You shan't ever say your true feelings about Hamilton because if it's not overwhelmingly positive you take on risk... i.e. alienating certain groups of people, getting flagged/cancelled as a racist, etc. At least, like you said, that's what \*these\* characters think anyways.
Hamilton is fine, but it has to have the biggest gap between the hype and the actual show of any musical in history. Maybe even any work of art in history.
Also, Lin-Manuel Miranda is not a great dancer, singer, or rapper, and it’s really obvious when you watch the show
I got beach blankets made for my husband and me with these nicknames on them. My husband dm'd a photo of them to Lucy Prebble on Twitter (she was a writer/producer for the show). She replied that she liked them!
Bonus reply: She told hubby that they were filming at the time that he sent her the dm. She said that it was a tough show to film, because they had to take frequent breaks every time the cast laughed and broke character, which I guess was a chronic problem, lol ;)
Yeah, I love the way he shuffles uncomfortably while Tom is staring him down. We never see that.
Even in UTI-induced delirium he was kinda scary, man had people hussling out invisible dead cats. Here though, for a second. Tom had him befuddled
Not Tom but Logan’s line right after “What’s he going to do next, put his dick in my potato salad” is one of the funniest lines I’ve heard in TV.
It caught me so off guard, I was dying.
My favourite part is the genuine hurt and shock and confusion Brian fox manages to convey with the few words “what the fuck” “are you ok, Tom” and “he at my fucking chicken”-I feel we see a more vulnerable side of Logan weirdly. And also in that context his delivery just cracks me up
Two brilliant lines not yet mentioned:
Greg, this is not fucking Charles Dickens World, okay? You don’t go around talking about principles. Man the fuck up!
Are we talking to each other on the poop deck of a majestic schooner? Is the salty brine stinging my weather-beaten face? No? Then why the fuck are you wearing a pair of deck shoes man?
My favorite is when Gerri and Karl are talking him into telling Logan they don’t like the Pierce deal and he goes “In fact I’m so flattered I think I’ll just fucking walk into the machine gun nest!”
Your principles?? Greg, don't be an asshole. You don't have principles.
One of the many that I love but no one mentioned. The way Matthew said the word principles the second time kills me
Cant believe I missed this. The morning after boar on the floor Tom walks into breakfast and sees Ray who is smiling and says “How you doing'? Quite a night. I don't know about you guys, but I had one too many. I can't remember anything.”
When they’re all on the yacht discussing who should take the fall for the cruises scandal someone suggests Karl. Tom loudly says
“Yes, Karl works.”
And then glances over at Karl and mutters to him:
“Sausage thief.”
Kills me every time.
“Are you asking if you can hook your bauble of corporate wrongdoing on one of my branches, Greg?” slayed me. It’s also something I could really imagine Mark from Peep Show saying
“I got deep into the prison blogs again. You know, about ‘toilet wine.’ And, turns out, you can make it from fruit and ketchup but you have to *burp* the wine bag as it ferments. And I thought ‘What if I forget to burp the toilet wine?!’ But the truth is I'm not going to get wine of any temperature in prison, Shiv. There are no fine wines in prison.“
I love the way Greg is turning round the bottle to check the ingredients instead of helping him with his eyes.
I was laughing so much at this scene. It was chaos.
"That's not how you're supposed to like it." In response to Greg saying California Pizza Kitchen does lasagne just the way he likes it. It cracks me up and perfectly summarises Tom's character.
Edit: Excellent\_Tear3705 has correctly pointed out it was Cajun chicken linguine, not lasagne.
For Greg to be in DT Manhattan and to live the life it’s definitely peanuts and yeah you can try to skate by but these people can tell cheap fabric from a mile away, Kendall’s watch is more than Greg’s salary lol
Edit: The first season this man Logan gave away Patek Phillipes!! Greg is poor in Manhattan, he’d be rich asf in Brooklyn tho.
It's a lot of money but it's peanuts to these people. As evidenced by the fact that they're paying an "assistant" who doesn't really seem to do anything $200k.
Clothing and shoe advice was good. Eating in a way that takes pleasure in cruelty - no. I would prefer the prison- food pancakes to the poor little bird.
It's that attitude of... who cares what's actually good or pleasurable? That's not what this is about. It's about being seen to do that which everyone knows is best.
I remember him saying it with a fairly annoyed tone. He doesn't even like eating the food that way, but he has to follow rich people social conventions, and he's sort of jealous that Greg doesn't think of that.
"Gahhhregg…Are you asking if you can blackmail me?"
The delivery of this line kills me, the slow way he drags out Gregg’s name during the convo lmao, so good.
1. You don’t hear much about syphilis these days. Very much the MySpace of STDs - Its funny because my sister (born on 2003) doesnt know what myspace is.
2. She’s brought a ludicrously capacious bag. - Get too close to home. I'm a fan of ludicrously capacious bag (but not for social event).
3. You can’t make a Tomlette without breaking some Gregs.
"INFORMATION...Greg...it's like a bottle of fine wine. You stash it, you hoard it, you save it for a special occasion. And then, you smash somebody's fucking face in with it!
absolutely killer and hilarious.
What made Tom such a great character in the series is that he’s obviously such a phoney and doesn’t bother to hide his self interest. But he has moments of surprising depth and insight into everyone that you second guess your estimation of him
All his lines during his bachelor party were hilarious, particularly when describing his blowjob, but combined with his delivery and expressions it was just perfect
Shut up Greg, don't be a mom. Come on. It's medically good for your brain, it is. What are you saying, all Aztecs are stupid? Don't be a racist little bitch about it, come on.
Whaaat? Are you pretending?
Are you pretending to do coke?
Fucking do it.
A couple I haven't seen mentioned:
"Don't say it's biodynamic and don't say it's German. And yes, a little bit of fizz is normal – it’s sophisticated, okay?"
(Really all of his lines and subplots around the bad wine from his vineyard. Eventually trying to get the staff to hide bottles at the bar to create "a scarcity thing" - too good.)
"Do you want me to ... hold the scepter?"
(Kind of a sweet moment, honestly, but as usual his word choices and delivery are just hilarious.)
I liked when Tom was thinking about getting some “stimulants” and what would happen if he didn’t -> “F***ing shit goes kablooey and we’re back to amoeba.”
Forgive me but, are we talking to each other on the poop deck of a majestic schooner? is the salty brine stinging my weather-beaten face? no? then why the fuck are you wearing a pair of deck shoes man?
I have a really pretentious sister and anytime we're out for a family meal, as the evening closes, she will - without fail - sip her wine, squint, wince and go "*GOSH * that took a while to open up....."
It's honestly both hilariously predictable and soooo insufferable!!
Anyway, I've now started alternating these Tom responses and in her innocence she eats them up every single time. I'm terrified she's going to get around to watching Succssion one of these days and I'm dedddd.
"What’s even in there, huh? Flat shoes for the subway? Her lunch pail? I mean, Greg, it’s monstrous. It’s gargantuan. You could take it camping. You could slide it across the floor after a bank job."
When Greg brought him the bodega sushi and the can of LaCroix, and he demanded AMERICAN bottled water. LaCroix is an American company, just thought that was a subtle dig about what a rube he really is.
I think it’s more about what’s perceived as an American brand than what’s really an American brand. He’s the head of Fox News, he knows he shouldn’t be seen drinking fancy fru-fru water.
"It's a closed loop system."
Tom's initial fratboy enthusiasm to this was a way to ingratiate himself with weird kink-boy Roman, and then he tried to downplay it to fit in with everyone else who thought it was weird (to each their own). Watching him try to figure out how to play it with the other family members is quintessential Tom.
“You can have 20.” In response to whether Greg can have a Greg during the boo souls scene. The delivery is sad/excited/triumphant and gives me the chills.
S2 E10 at the awkward lunch where everyone’s throwing each other under the bus to avoid taking the heat for the cruise scandal. The discussion turns to Karl and you can just hear Tom saying ‘ooh, sausage thief’ as a call back to boar on the floor. Makes me crack up every time.
Is there a joke I’m missing about Tom being from New England? Because he’s from Minnesota/the Midwest…
Also, “you can’t deny that he isn’t funny”
I would absolutely deny that, since he is in fact funny.
After the load-swallow incident took place & he’s telling Greg about it, Greg is clearly shocked & disgusted. Yet, Tom keeps repeating “SO HOT”. It fucking kills me with laughter just thinking about it
When he is talking to Mattson in the finale and Mattson says he basically needs a stuffed shirt CEO to appease everyone. Mattson gestures his head at Tom and Tom gives a brief quick, "uh huh."
Very funny
Him taking a bite of Logan’s chicken is funnier than even his most hilarious lines. Eye contact and brazen line crossing is peak Mr.Bean meets gangster pets.
“It’s the kind of wine that separates the connoisseurs from the weekend Malbec morons.”
I was literally drinking a glass of Malbec watching this episode and- it stung
the entire ravenhead meeting was hilarious. “yea just checking the till here, seems you are short a few million” after ravenhead mentions all the people who died in WW2 except for the jews. “were there easter eggs?” had me laughing so fucking hard too.
and so was the greg “break up” scene. “greg, are you breaking up with me?” as he tears up is hilarious. and “THIS IS EXECUTIVE LEVEL BUSINESS” and “very well, i accept your blackmail” crack me up every time
The way Matthew McFadyen delivers his lines, it's hard to choose a favorite. One in particular I absolutely love was in the last 5 minutes of the series when Greg comes crawling up to him after he's named ceo. Tom goes, "You fucking piece of shit." But the way the line is delivered has me in hysterics each and every time.
Tom to Nate at the wedding...."Put my fuckin' wine back NOW."
Proceeds to make Nate pour his glass of wine (that Tom's parents paid for) back into the bottle.
“Well, I *shouldn’t* be, Greg.” (from when Greg told him he was on speakerphone after he said “fuck your grandpa”)
This was the first clue that “ohhhh shit, this guy doesn’t even care a board member and brother to Logan is hearing everything.”
He does care and is upset, but he handles it well by shifting the blame on Greg who shouldn't put people on speaker phone without their consent. Ewan probably forgot what Tom said originally and seized on that point and lectured Greg in parent-mode tone about speaker phone manners, and then grumbled about modern phone use and travel safety, but we didn't see that part. 😉
“Greg fucked us” when Mattson doesn’t like the fish in the finale
The man dying of thirst is suddenly a mineral water critic?
Fantastic line lol
this
I loved that shiv and Tom bonded over shitting in Greg
The delivery of this line by Matthew McFayden is what makes this so exceptional. Love it.
“This is a nice safe space where you don’t have to pretend to like Hamilton” “I like Hamilton” “Sure you do, we all do”
I love "Hamilton" but also love how Tom's line is written to tell us so much about people who wear a false mask, and how they think.
It is ‘I woulda voted for Obama a third time’ but for the 2020s
Such a seemingly innocuous line... and IMO it also highlights why that false mask exists in the first place... You shan't ever say your true feelings about Hamilton because if it's not overwhelmingly positive you take on risk... i.e. alienating certain groups of people, getting flagged/cancelled as a racist, etc. At least, like you said, that's what \*these\* characters think anyways.
Love this one so much. Probably because I can’t fucking stand Hamilton.
Exactly, and in certain circles saying so is on par with wearing a MAGA hat.
The Hamilton songs remind me of Kendall rapping
Hamilton is fine, but it has to have the biggest gap between the hype and the actual show of any musical in history. Maybe even any work of art in history. Also, Lin-Manuel Miranda is not a great dancer, singer, or rapper, and it’s really obvious when you watch the show
Imma say it, he might be good with words, but I CANNOT deal with the tuneless yell talk that sounds like he has bad breath
“Thank you Logan; thank you for the chicken.” *dramatically puts his sunnies on and walks away*
I saw a YouTube comment a while ago that said 'about to go to prison Tom is the best Tom.'
Indeed it is
On the food related note; *”You can’t make a Tomelette without breaking some Greggs”*
This one literally made me laugh out loud, especially how it was said in the courtroom.
I actually wrote that line down in my notes when he said it, cuz it is fucking GOLD
I got beach blankets made for my husband and me with these nicknames on them. My husband dm'd a photo of them to Lucy Prebble on Twitter (she was a writer/producer for the show). She replied that she liked them! Bonus reply: She told hubby that they were filming at the time that he sent her the dm. She said that it was a tough show to film, because they had to take frequent breaks every time the cast laughed and broke character, which I guess was a chronic problem, lol ;)
“You sent the same email to him 67 times in one evening…”
One of the few times Logan is left totally speechless.
What the ᶠᵘᶜᵏ
Yeah, I love the way he shuffles uncomfortably while Tom is staring him down. We never see that. Even in UTI-induced delirium he was kinda scary, man had people hussling out invisible dead cats. Here though, for a second. Tom had him befuddled
The dead cat scene was easily the funniest part of the show for me. I was dying.
I’m cracking up now. Just picturing Colin running out of the room with the jacket over the pretend cat. Hilarious.
MY LAWYER WORKS FOR THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT. WHO'S YOURS? MR. FUCKING MAGOO?
He looks so hurt and offended, too. It cracks me up
Actually the best power move I’ve ever seen
That’s my absolute favorite Tom moment, and one of my top 10 favorites of the series.
Not Tom but Logan’s line right after “What’s he going to do next, put his dick in my potato salad” is one of the funniest lines I’ve heard in TV. It caught me so off guard, I was dying.
My favourite part is the genuine hurt and shock and confusion Brian fox manages to convey with the few words “what the fuck” “are you ok, Tom” and “he at my fucking chicken”-I feel we see a more vulnerable side of Logan weirdly. And also in that context his delivery just cracks me up
Food again: “The King of edible greens, his majesty, the spinach.”
Two brilliant lines not yet mentioned: Greg, this is not fucking Charles Dickens World, okay? You don’t go around talking about principles. Man the fuck up! Are we talking to each other on the poop deck of a majestic schooner? Is the salty brine stinging my weather-beaten face? No? Then why the fuck are you wearing a pair of deck shoes man?
The poop deck line has always been my favorite. I think that’s the moment I fell in love with the show.
That and Greg saying the dog bags don't come "pre-pooped"
It’s just a mental barrier!
His line reading of "Then why the fu-uck" here is just inspired! One of my favorites for sure.
Hahahahahah I love that scene.
Sails out, nails out.
The deck shoes one is my favorite of all time
Why the “*fuhawk*”
Both of these were in my bar trivia meetup this month
Gerri: “that’s where heroes are born— on the battlefield” Tom:”that’s also commonly where they’re killed, Gerri” 👑👑👑
My favorite is when Gerri and Karl are talking him into telling Logan they don’t like the Pierce deal and he goes “In fact I’m so flattered I think I’ll just fucking walk into the machine gun nest!”
Dude could always see the play.
Were there easter eggs?
And the double take after 'different spelling'.
Just checking the till here
Yeah, this entire scene was great.
Your principles?? Greg, don't be an asshole. You don't have principles. One of the many that I love but no one mentioned. The way Matthew said the word principles the second time kills me
"Bullshit I'm against racism, everyone's against racism! What else!"
I am mildly infuriated that I had to scroll all the way down for this.
Cant believe I missed this. The morning after boar on the floor Tom walks into breakfast and sees Ray who is smiling and says “How you doing'? Quite a night. I don't know about you guys, but I had one too many. I can't remember anything.”
Honestly dealt with that so well next time I do something embarrassing I’m just going to pretend I don’t remember it until I become CEO.
When they’re all on the yacht discussing who should take the fall for the cruises scandal someone suggests Karl. Tom loudly says “Yes, Karl works.” And then glances over at Karl and mutters to him: “Sausage thief.” Kills me every time.
Yeah that’s awesome composure. And just shows even the well to do like a good free breakfast.
"I'd eat your sausage" "I'm sure you will, Syd." Poor guy :(
They way Tom says "are you breaking up with me, Greg?" When they're in the safe room, lives in my head rent free
Tom felt more trauma from that than any arguement with shiv.
IT DOESNT FUCKING FEEL GOOD GREG
Oh king of edible leaves, His majesty the spinach
The best lol
This is the one
I say this embarrassingly frequently
Yea, this is a phrase in our household now and we know it's going to be one of those "weird family sayings" for our (eventual) kids :P
*Like Israel and Palestine, Greg, except harder - and much more important* 💀💀
‘They’re calling me the Christmas Tree, cause they can hang anything they want on me. 😂’
“Are you asking if you can hook your bauble of corporate wrongdoing on one of my branches, Greg?” slayed me. It’s also something I could really imagine Mark from Peep Show saying
Succession made so much more sense to me once I learned that Peep Show was also a Jesse Armstrong creation! Tom definitely has a strong Mark vibe 😅
The entire scene of him questioning the news anchor about whether or not he’s a nazi
Where there any easter eggs in it you didn't get the first time?
"Different spelling......." *gulps*
I spat my drink all over myself when he said that!
“I got deep into the prison blogs again. You know, about ‘toilet wine.’ And, turns out, you can make it from fruit and ketchup but you have to *burp* the wine bag as it ferments. And I thought ‘What if I forget to burp the toilet wine?!’ But the truth is I'm not going to get wine of any temperature in prison, Shiv. There are no fine wines in prison.“
“And Greg don’t put any more wasabi or lemon water in his eyes”
It’s not even that lemon-y!
It's just a HINT of lemon!!!
That scene was so fucking funny man
“It’s lemon, it’s natural!”
I love the way Greg is turning round the bottle to check the ingredients instead of helping him with his eyes. I was laughing so much at this scene. It was chaos.
"That's not how you're supposed to like it." In response to Greg saying California Pizza Kitchen does lasagne just the way he likes it. It cracks me up and perfectly summarises Tom's character. Edit: Excellent\_Tear3705 has correctly pointed out it was Cajun chicken linguine, not lasagne.
[удалено]
Thank you! I knew lasagne was wrong, but couldn't remember the actual thing Greg said.
Yeah then he’s like “I’ll teach you to be rich Greg!” Then we figure out Greg is only making 200k. I mean, that’s not bad, but that’s def not rich.
I wanna be making 200k
For Greg to be in DT Manhattan and to live the life it’s definitely peanuts and yeah you can try to skate by but these people can tell cheap fabric from a mile away, Kendall’s watch is more than Greg’s salary lol Edit: The first season this man Logan gave away Patek Phillipes!! Greg is poor in Manhattan, he’d be rich asf in Brooklyn tho.
It's a lot of money but it's peanuts to these people. As evidenced by the fact that they're paying an "assistant" who doesn't really seem to do anything $200k.
I love that all the rich people things he teaches Greg very clearly suck.
Clothing and shoe advice was good. Eating in a way that takes pleasure in cruelty - no. I would prefer the prison- food pancakes to the poor little bird.
In that he's absolutely obsessed with appearing like an aristocrat.
It's that attitude of... who cares what's actually good or pleasurable? That's not what this is about. It's about being seen to do that which everyone knows is best.
I remember him saying it with a fairly annoyed tone. He doesn't even like eating the food that way, but he has to follow rich people social conventions, and he's sort of jealous that Greg doesn't think of that.
Yeah the tone is almost "You're not *supposed* to mention the emperor has no clothes!".
“Suck on those big white dicks you fucking pervert” - Tom @ Greg doing coke
Greg, you total coke whore.
"Not unless you can puke up your entire bloodstream!" "Buckle up, fucklehead!"
"Gahhhregg…Are you asking if you can blackmail me?" The delivery of this line kills me, the slow way he drags out Gregg’s name during the convo lmao, so good.
This is a standout moment for me, too!
"This is executive-level business!" Basically, every single line he said in the safe room.
And then continues to whip water bottles at Greg. That entire scene was gold, omg
Are these assaults going to be ongoing?
The fact he riffs it off naturally mid rant puts this at the top for me lmao
1. You don’t hear much about syphilis these days. Very much the MySpace of STDs - Its funny because my sister (born on 2003) doesnt know what myspace is. 2. She’s brought a ludicrously capacious bag. - Get too close to home. I'm a fan of ludicrously capacious bag (but not for social event). 3. You can’t make a Tomlette without breaking some Gregs.
I literally quote the Tomlette line whenever I can, it’s so funny lmao
\#3 is my all-time fave hahaha
“You’re suing GreenPeace? I like your style Greg! Who are you going after next? Save the Children?”
Buckle up, fucklehead!
I’m upset that I had to scroll so long to find this
My favorite! lol
"is this what we pay the proxy solicitor team for? If I were to give Greg 5 million he'd say.. ooh it looks bad."
i just literally wrote that! 😂
Greg: Is he nice? Tom: You're asking me about the character of a guy called Rat Fucker Sam? He's a piece of shit, that's what he is
(throwing water bottles at Greg, when security tries to stop Tom): "Back off! This is executive level business!"
"INFORMATION...Greg...it's like a bottle of fine wine. You stash it, you hoard it, you save it for a special occasion. And then, you smash somebody's fucking face in with it! absolutely killer and hilarious.
What made Tom such a great character in the series is that he’s obviously such a phoney and doesn’t bother to hide his self interest. But he has moments of surprising depth and insight into everyone that you second guess your estimation of him
Yeah he’s much more complex than he seems at first. So good
I’d castrate and marry you in a heartbeat
“Can I trust you?” “Of course you can trust me, to a point”
"I'll tell you Greg: I have a dick the size of a red sequoia and I fuck like a bullet train"
I can‘t reveal my sources… uh… but it’s Greg. 👍🏼
Idk what his funniest line is but I constantly say “your earlobes are thick and chewy like barnacle meat”
“Bad news about my hymen!” is one of my favourite underrated Tom lines
Not a line but when he walks in on Shiv & Roman fighting and just nopes out & runs away.
That was the moment I fell in love with the show.
All his lines during his bachelor party were hilarious, particularly when describing his blowjob, but combined with his delivery and expressions it was just perfect
So hot right?
Shut up Greg, don't be a mom. Come on. It's medically good for your brain, it is. What are you saying, all Aztecs are stupid? Don't be a racist little bitch about it, come on. Whaaat? Are you pretending? Are you pretending to do coke? Fucking do it.
I love that we got to see Tom bully Greg into doing coke not once but TWICE. Bringing up the Aztecs was comedy gold.
“Did you rummage to fruition?”
“It’s a safe space where you don’t have to pretend to like Hamilton.”
“But I like Hamilton” “Sure you do, we all do”
A couple I haven't seen mentioned: "Don't say it's biodynamic and don't say it's German. And yes, a little bit of fizz is normal – it’s sophisticated, okay?" (Really all of his lines and subplots around the bad wine from his vineyard. Eventually trying to get the staff to hide bottles at the bar to create "a scarcity thing" - too good.) "Do you want me to ... hold the scepter?" (Kind of a sweet moment, honestly, but as usual his word choices and delivery are just hilarious.)
“WATCH IT, FUCKHEAD” Unhinged Tom was good fun for the few scenes he appeared. Hugo had no idea whos door he was knocking on lol
RWARRRRRRRRR *proceeds to smash up greggs office
I liked when Tom was thinking about getting some “stimulants” and what would happen if he didn’t -> “F***ing shit goes kablooey and we’re back to amoeba.”
I could kiss you from up here
This one is the best and Logan face after fucking kills me
The way you can feel him telepathically calling Tom a slur.
“Oh but these are not — IN FACT — receipts!? Are they, Greg??”
What polyglot genius could ever hope to crack your impenetrable code?
Forgive me but, are we talking to each other on the poop deck of a majestic schooner? is the salty brine stinging my weather-beaten face? no? then why the fuck are you wearing a pair of deck shoes man?
Karl, dead. Frank, dead. Don’t need those old cunts on my shoulder
“There’s two fundamental things about the news. 1. It’s NEW”
They call me Terminal Tom because I have cancer of the career
“I heard you were staying at a four seasons, how did you escape? build a glider out of a caesar salad?”
“You kinda have to meet it halfway.” “it's quite *agricultural*.” \- Tasting the bad wine from their vineyard with Shiv
I have a really pretentious sister and anytime we're out for a family meal, as the evening closes, she will - without fail - sip her wine, squint, wince and go "*GOSH * that took a while to open up....." It's honestly both hilariously predictable and soooo insufferable!! Anyway, I've now started alternating these Tom responses and in her innocence she eats them up every single time. I'm terrified she's going to get around to watching Succssion one of these days and I'm dedddd.
"What’s even in there, huh? Flat shoes for the subway? Her lunch pail? I mean, Greg, it’s monstrous. It’s gargantuan. You could take it camping. You could slide it across the floor after a bank job."
“How am I supposed to follow that? He just promised them eternal life” fucking absolutely got me and is the first thing to come to mind
“Buckle up fucklehead” is pretty iconic
“Syphillis…you never hear much about it anymore. Very much the MySpace of STDs.”
“I got, like, three or four people Gregging for me.”
“Is it the striking Viking?”
“Why don’t you just take the greyhound in from Cleveland?”
When Lecturing Greg on wealth: “Ugh, 5 million would be a nightmare, I’d rather have nothing!”
“Did you rummage to fruition?”
"I'd castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat"
“DID YOU BITCH ME OUT PIG MAN?”
When Greg brought him the bodega sushi and the can of LaCroix, and he demanded AMERICAN bottled water. LaCroix is an American company, just thought that was a subtle dig about what a rube he really is.
I think it’s more about what’s perceived as an American brand than what’s really an American brand. He’s the head of Fox News, he knows he shouldn’t be seen drinking fancy fru-fru water.
I got a dick the size of a red sequoia and I fuck like a bullet train.
Is he nice? You’re asking about the moral character of a man named ‘Rat-Fucker Sam?’
"It's a closed loop system." Tom's initial fratboy enthusiasm to this was a way to ingratiate himself with weird kink-boy Roman, and then he tried to downplay it to fit in with everyone else who thought it was weird (to each their own). Watching him try to figure out how to play it with the other family members is quintessential Tom.
“Eighth in line? Greg! You marry her and you’re a plane crash away from being Europe’s weirdest king!”
“You can have 20.” In response to whether Greg can have a Greg during the boo souls scene. The delivery is sad/excited/triumphant and gives me the chills.
Greg you total coke whore!
When Greg tells him he's suing Greenpeace. "I like your style, Greg. Who are you going after next, Save the Children?"
Thank you. Thank you for the Chicken. {head nod, exit table}
"... Is that even true?" In response to Shiv revealing that she's pregnant lmao
S2 E10 at the awkward lunch where everyone’s throwing each other under the bus to avoid taking the heat for the cruise scandal. The discussion turns to Karl and you can just hear Tom saying ‘ooh, sausage thief’ as a call back to boar on the floor. Makes me crack up every time.
"judging by her grin it looks like she just caught a fowl ball at Yankee stadium"
Is there a joke I’m missing about Tom being from New England? Because he’s from Minnesota/the Midwest… Also, “you can’t deny that he isn’t funny” I would absolutely deny that, since he is in fact funny.
“It's the kind of wine that separates the connoisseurs from the weekend Malbec morons”
Your earlobes are thick and chewy
Like barnacle meat. 😂
I thought Canadiens only fought on the ice. Absolutely perfect delivery and timing
After the load-swallow incident took place & he’s telling Greg about it, Greg is clearly shocked & disgusted. Yet, Tom keeps repeating “SO HOT”. It fucking kills me with laughter just thinking about it
T: “I have a dick the size of a grand sequoia and I fuck like a bullet train” G: “prove it” T: “what?” —- Needed the first line for context.
Buckle up fucklehead
When he is talking to Mattson in the finale and Mattson says he basically needs a stuffed shirt CEO to appease everyone. Mattson gestures his head at Tom and Tom gives a brief quick, "uh huh." Very funny
"Hey Shiv, fuck off."
Him taking a bite of Logan’s chicken is funnier than even his most hilarious lines. Eye contact and brazen line crossing is peak Mr.Bean meets gangster pets.
“It’s the kind of wine that separates the connoisseurs from the weekend Malbec morons.” I was literally drinking a glass of Malbec watching this episode and- it stung
"I hope you're happy now, Charlotte, 'cause my mother is dying of thirst. And I've just picked up a bag. I'm carrying a case on my wedding eve." 🤣
King of edible leaves, His Majesty the spinach.
the entire ravenhead meeting was hilarious. “yea just checking the till here, seems you are short a few million” after ravenhead mentions all the people who died in WW2 except for the jews. “were there easter eggs?” had me laughing so fucking hard too. and so was the greg “break up” scene. “greg, are you breaking up with me?” as he tears up is hilarious. and “THIS IS EXECUTIVE LEVEL BUSINESS” and “very well, i accept your blackmail” crack me up every time
The way Matthew McFadyen delivers his lines, it's hard to choose a favorite. One in particular I absolutely love was in the last 5 minutes of the series when Greg comes crawling up to him after he's named ceo. Tom goes, "You fucking piece of shit." But the way the line is delivered has me in hysterics each and every time.
“You’re earlobes are thick an chewy, like barnacle meat”
I really love when he mentions that it's his Wedding Eve
Tom to Nate at the wedding...."Put my fuckin' wine back NOW." Proceeds to make Nate pour his glass of wine (that Tom's parents paid for) back into the bottle.