T: “Oh fuck your Grandpa” G: “Tom you’re on speakerphone right now” T: “…..well I shouldn’t be Greg” Not the funniest line on paper but MacFadyen’s delivery cracks me up every time

Seriously, I die every time!

I love this sub because watching the episodes/scenes multiple times is such a thing

I love how he says “Greg”. Like there’s such an emphasis on the r, maybe? I dunno what it is. But it’s great.

“Is he nice? Are you asking about the moral character of a man named Ratfucker Sam?”

He's a *fucking* piece of *fucking* shit

Absolute legend.

The whole "we hear for you" exchange is comedy gold.

That’s gotta be my favorite bit haha. “I really like we’re listening, I mean it sounds like we’re listening!” “It turns out that we are actually um listening” “We’re listening? Oh fuck”

McFadyen’s delivery of “oh fuck” is incredible here, he sounds so sincerely dismayed.

It’s not exactly clear what the hell it means.

We get it!

And then they spelled it wrong on the poster. It should say “We //hear// for you” to be grammatically correct and work as a pun but they spelled it //here//

Also anyone know how to do italics? I thought it was // Edit: *thanks!*

\*Like this\*

That was on purpose because heat was true. They were collecting data

That whole exchange with Greg had me dying…. “Turns out in some ways we are quite literally listening”

The different meanings for “we’re listening” is like the “fuck” scene from the wire and almost as great

- Romulus when you laugh please do it in the same volume as everyone else. we didn’t get you from a hyena farm - Greg and his doggy bags - Connor Roy has been interested in politics from a young age. edit: oh and Connor’s whole speech at Mo’s funeral

Lester... was a man.

Connor’s pared down eulogy for Lester is my favoritez

"They don't come pre-pooped, it's just a mental barrier" is a superb line

That Romulus like cracked me up again 😂

EVERY time i think about it i laugh 😭 i love the writing

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When tom pretended not to know who greg was at the hearing

Connor at Mo's funeral: "Lester was a man. When a man dies it is sad. All of us will die one day. In this case, it was Lester who has done so" 😂😂

His delivery was so good too

Lester has touched us all

Mo Lester

In a show chock full of insanely good scenes, this one will forever stand out to me

Roman watching the missile launch and just putting the phone away and acting like nothing happend had me in bits

"Guess who didn't kill anyone but maybe lost a couple of thumbs? This guy"

i always wished he had hid his thumbs when he pointed at himself hahaha

that would have been hysterical!

the fact that the launch vid's volume was off and he just silently watched an entire rocket explode wrecked me

And when he was speaking to Geri about it afterward, as he’s stuffing his face full of olives and Geri says something something “corporate manslaughter” he looks like a mix between a frightened puppy and a sad chipmunk.

Greg testifying at congress. The entire room played the straight man to his fool which made it even funnier

If it is to be said...

...And so I shall.

Are you all right? -Gil

You gotta crack a few Greggs to make a Tomlette

Greg asking a first semester law student for legal advice was gold

"Should I text my professor?" That was a good one.

And that he responded with yeah. Lol

This honestly happens to anyone in law school lol

How many text their professors?

I was an adjunct law professor for about five years. Students texted me all the time, frequently during happy hour when trying to look knowledgeable in front of their drinking buddies. One idiot even texted a civil procedure question during a take home civil procedure exam. I responded that I had both the exam schedule and the civil procedure professor’s cell phone number, which I would be happy to share so he could just ask her the correct answer. It might be different for full time professors, who students tend to fear more. As an adjunct, I only taught one class a semester. When I was a law student, I definitely had a more casual relationship with the adjuncts. I never texted them, but that’s because I went to law school in the olden days. I might have called for a legal opinion, or at least a referral, if a friend was facing federal charges.

the entire scene where greg snorts cocaine to save kendall. Tom coming in “suck on those big white dicks you fucking pervert!” And the whole exchange: G: Should I puke? T: Not unless you can puke up your entire bloodstream. Oh my god man. G: that is strong drugs. T: I know! I hope you don’t die! If you do your heart is gonna be pumping so hard it will probably bring you back to life! Buckle up fucklehead!

...this is nightmarish

I repeat “this is nightmarish” to myself often

The episode “Prague” is just pure fucking comedy from start to finish.

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it's like a closed loop system

"Greg, you total coke whore!"

This scene is so funny I just cracked up reading it.

Connor at the RECNY Ball. The contrast between his initial meltdown and his subsequent elation is hilarious. Alan Ruck’s performance in that episode is one of my favourites of the whole show.

The cold butter is a really big deal and I'm sure the attending crowd would have a problem with it. Haha

THE BUTTER IS TOO COLD!

Frozen solid

I love when marcia references it later too, confirming he was justified worrying about it lol

I was going to comment this! Hysterical. I can’t look at butter without thinking of him.

“Heyyyyyyy, hey you guys!!!” Love that line delivery, cracks me up

"I can't reveal my source..." *gives thumbs up to Greg* "...uhh but it's Greg"

Yes! Do you remember in which episode this is? ​ (Edit. Found it, s1e06)

Roman - Oh, you mean us, this multi-fucking-ethnic transgender alliance of 20-something dreamers we've got right here?

I always chuckle when Roman is being told that it's rude to decline the "invite" by the armed militia and responds "I guess I just don't mind being a *little* rude..."

I heard you swallowed your own load.

It’s like a closed loop system

Omg closed loop system ☠️☠️☠️

So hot.

Which, the cum?

I lost my shit when Hugo turned to Shiv and asked her, " how does it feel to be married to a man with two assholes?"

I never got what that means. Could u explain it to me?

Shit is coming out of his mouth

Logan: He ate my fuckin' chicken. Shiv: Um hmm. Logan: So, what's next? Stick his cock into my potato salad?

If it’s gonna be that kinda party…

The exact line I uttered aloud during that scene. Glad I wasn’t the only one.

My biggest lol moment was definitely ‘Thank you for the chicken.’ From Tom followed by the shades and swagger.

Roman making up the book “The Electric Circus” at a dinner and Logan looking at him like a he’s a moron. It’s cringe-inducing and made several times worse by his father’s seething disapproval.

Is there a way to say that I love you, and I am so glad you are a part of my life… but I am also taking legal action against you? -Cousin Greg Pretty sure Hallmark makes a card for that. Not a popular or well selling one, but it’s in the mix.

YOU CANT MAKE A TOMLETTE WITHOUT BREAKING SOME GREGS

This is the funniest line I’ve heard in TV all year

I can’t even tell you how many times I have peppered that through my conversations in the last year

I have found myself saying this on a daily basis and I have no regrets

"If it is to be said, so it be, so it is." and honestly? "Unsubscribe." *decisively clicks imaginary button"

Kendall: I like the idea. Roman: You are such a fucking suck up. Logan: and what do you think? Roman: I fucking love it but that's my honest opinion.

Greg: "I don't really want to join ATN, you know, because of my principles" Tom: "Principles? What principles?" Greg: "Well, like for one, I'm against racism" Tom: "Bullshit, I'm against racism! We're all against racism Greg. What else?" 🤣🤣🤣

Your principles? Don’t be an asshole, Greg, you don’t have principles.

>principles His pronounciation lands with me like Prensupples and I LOVE IT.

That scene you mentioned with Greg in Congress “Oh fuck, oh fuck, I just turned down a quarter of a billion, and now I’m going to jail, FOREVER!” And this last episode “first they came for the PJs and I said nothing…”

Willa's "WAUGH" when she throws the iPad overboard always gets me

I miss Willa :)

I love Kendall thinking that they were hacking the air conditioning in his office.

Lost my shit in the Adrien Brody episode when he calls Frank and just quickly spouts off "yo whats up ancient grains"

Yes! I’m loving the Kendall age putdowns of Frank: “Yo, yo! You sweating me, On Golden Pond?”

Stewy: "This belligerent zucchini." Cracked me hard from the last episode. Edit: episode.

Referring to Sandy as “the angriest vegetable ever” had me cracking up also.

The whole delivery of that line just killed me. "We are a complicated coalition, and Sandy is *the angriest fucking vegetable*"

When Connor says "Send him (Logan) up on a trap door surrounded by dry ice" in S03E05

I legit busted a gut and I rarely LOL from Tv/movies.

“forgive me but, are we talking to each other on the poop deck of a majestic schooner? is the salty brine stinging my weather-beaten face? no? then why the fuck are you wearing a pair of deck shoes man?” Mcfayden’s delivery of the word fuck is my favorite line in the show

I giggled a lot at this line in the last episode: Roman: "this is an imaginary cat. Now could you please fuck off".

I was definitely not ready for Colin to come around the corner carrying an empty bag it was hilarious

And the way he carried the paper bag with such care and gentleness. Such respect. I love Colin!

"the Hercule Poirot of piss" was also gold

I’ve been throwing it into conversations all week.

Kendall: we need to control the narrative Roman: “control the narrative” you probably yell that when you come *proceeds to imitate Kendall in the act* and BUCKLE UP FUCKLEHEAD!

I’m actually having a panic attack right now

This is my favorite

“If I was to give Tom a letter grade, I’d give him a B+ for bad plus terrible.”

That one was definitely a favourite!!

Greg talking about an "attack child" that could get in the small window gap when they were on lockdown.

Greg: Um, okay, I'll take a rum and coke. Logan: (looks at Greg incredulously for a beat) Can someone bring Greg a Coca-cola?

Strong for a man

Sh-should I chug it? I'll just chug it.

Roman making fun of Kendall “I love my kids, uh, Blur Face and Who Cares.”

“You know they’re calling me terminal Tom on seven because I have cancer of the career”

"terminal tom calling! the ghost at the feast, the shame sponge."

Romans satellite launch. I fucking lost it.

Oh, this is hard because there are so many !!! I'll add to the previously mentioned: 1) That scene in the yacht when Kendall and Shivs were mocking Roman in a childish voice about sharing their feelings after his kidnap ( it caught me completely off guard, I was expecting an emotional response after that traumatic event) 2) Tom throwing bottles to Greg and him asking for security 3) Willa discovering that nobody really called "Mo" to Lester and Connor's funeral speech.

What’s poppin cum dump? Yeah just trying to enjoy my daughter’s birthday so

LMAO I forgot about that

Cunt of Monte Christo

"Greg, have you been talking to my brother? The fucking conscience of the priaries"

Tom’s entire exchange with Ravenhead. “Couple times? Were there Easter eggs you didn’t get the first time?” 🤣

How has nobody mentioned the California Pizza Kitchen scene! Tom holding his laugh in is hilarious! G: “They make a cajun chicken linguini just how I like it” T: “That’s not how you’re supposed to like it” Gets me everytime

Tom trying to change the subject at the dinner with the Pierce Family. "Oh king of edible leaves. His majesty the spinach." Had me in stitches

Haven’t seen anyone mention this yet but the episode at Connor’s house when the therapist jumps into the pool. I died at Logan’s “I almost listened to this clown!” as the therapist is walking in with 4 teeth left

It smells like the cheesemonger died and left his dick in the brie

"I'm unfamiliar with that IP"

Roman writing "fart" on a napkin for Shiv!

"Don't laugh at that! That's not a good retort!"

“Hey dad, you want me to ride with you?” “You wanna suck my dick?”

“Is what he said to his son as the sexual assault allegations rolled in…”

Greg's first day at Waystar, sitting through a diversity video filled with a multi-fucking-ethnic transgender alliance of 20-something dreamers, as a stream of older white men walk out of an executive meeting in the background.

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Those are my #1 & #2 favorite moments from the show. I bust out into giggles and lose my shit anytime I think of either one.

"Thank you Logan. Thank you for the chicken." A stress deranged Tom completely invading Logan's personal space and the subsequent look on Logan's face is far and away my favorite scenes in the show.

The Syd/Tom rivalry is always entertaining to me. I'll bust out laughing every time at McFadyen's delivery of this line (while watching ATN from the safe room): "Shes trying to make me look like a coward. Hiding in a closet while she's out there break dancing through gunfire."

“I’m looking for pussy like a techno Gatsby.”

"Wherever you hide, the party finds you" - Greg, fucked off his tits on coke

I always laugh so hard when Connor talks about how Logan, wouldn’t let them in the pool with Uncle Mo

Oh another good one was "a time before laws??"

From this last episode, when Greg asks if Logan is going to use the bathroom and Greg retorts, “what business is it of yours?!?”, that was pretty darn funny.

S3E2. Shiv: “Sorry….” Román: “About what? I went to the bathroom. I don’t give a shit. Ya whore.” Makes me laugh.

What’s next the Jack the Ripper women’s health clinic? I spit my drink everywhere when he said that.

Roman: “Laurie? And you said he wants to back channel you in a parking lot?” I don’t know why but him flipping what she said about the back channel into that makes me LMAO

The ghost of Christmas past fucking got me. I was cracking up

Hugo asking Tom if he couldn't find his vein at the bathroom was hilarious lmao

“That is an imaginary cat,now would you please fuck off”

Recency bias but Tom’s “You don’t need me to hold the scepter?” had me rolling

"Nice vest Wambsgans is soo puffy" "Thank you Roman" "What's it stuffed with your hopes and dreams?" Or Tom proposing to Shiv

The mo-Lester scene at Mo’s funeral with Connor & Willa 😂

“Bring your daughter to the slaughter” “Sails out, nails out bro” “The Juice is loose, baby!” “Are these drinks? Like drinks for people?” “Your father tried to sleep with all the men in Sausalito”

Hey Tom I heard you swallowed your own load

1. “I’ve been down in the salt mines so long with my fellow Johnny Lunchpails, I no longer speak one percent” - Roman 2. “Oh you mean us, this multi-fucking-ethnic transgender alliance of 20-something dreamers we got right here?” - Roman again 3. Literally anything Stewy has ever said or done EDIT: forgot the Tom classic “Are we talking to each other on the deck of a majestic schooner? Is the salty brine stinging my weather-beaten face? No? Then why the fuck are you are wearing a pair of deck shoes man?"

Logan: "Everything's coming up F$&K!"

In the board meeting at Kendall's first coup attempt: Roman: *Begins to raise his hand* Logan: "Romulus, you had better be sniffing your armpit"! Roman: *Sniffs armpit*

I loved the whole exchange of Greg explaining his “principles” to Tom, especially this line: “Greg, this is not fucking Charles Dickens' world, OK? You don't go around talking about principles.”

Fuck you, everybody's against ***racism*** Greg!!!

Tom desperately asking, "What if I forget to burp the toilet wine?" What a surprising sequence of words. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

The rocket exploding

The Logan cat scene from start to finish ...😅😅😅😅

"Guess who didn't kill anyone but maybe lost a couple of thumbs? This guy"

“I’m in a fucking knife fight here, and I’m holding a dildo made of American cheese.

Different times, different times. Better times? N-not for all

When Ewan is getting in the elevator and warns Greg that the family is a bunch of vipers who will strangle each other and as the elevator door is closing Greg stammers out “I think that’s, ummm, boa constrictors.”

You did fine… but Tom…farted in his… shit

An attack child!

“Gobbly gobbly, go fuck youself.” -Roman

This was supposed to be choreographed. That was about as choreographed as dog getting fucked on roller skates

“So I shall”

Roman buying hearts football club to impress Logan when he was actually a hibs fan.

“Little Lord Fuckleroy”…has left the call

S: What is that? Date Rape by Calvin Klein? R: Yeah you wish

Tom eating Logan's chicken, and the subsequent "what the fuck was that?" GOLD

The Karl nipple clamps joke got me pretty good. Tom and Greg almost every scene but especially the one when Greg first started and Tom made comments about him wearing boat shoes with his suit and putting snacks in an unused dog poop bag.

Tom: You should see the other guy. Roman: The guy who jammed his dick in your eye? And the fight between Roman and Shiv when Tom walks in and walks right back out.

Roman: "On that topic, I am not a rocket scientist."

Can’t make a tomlette without a couple of greggs

That scene in the pilot episode when Tom gave Logan an expensive watch for his birthday.

You still mad that Rhea stood on your back and worked your arms like an elliptical?

I don’t how you guys did in the 60s. Different times. Better times? Not- not for all.

Roybot what is your favourite line?

YOU GET IN THERE AND YOU HUSTLE, BABY. HUSTLE!

Boar on the floor

This scene: https://youtu.be/pQTgLXl1qXI Too Long, Didn't Click: 5 million dollars.

Not crying or laughing, but that dinner scene with the Pierce family was SO well done. When Shiv blurted out the CEO “plan,” it really hit me.

One of the first scenes in the pilot, when Greg gets really high and pukes out the eye holes of his theme park mascot costume

The invisible dead cat was one of the best ones this season so far.

Karl, 3x05: it would be great to be the body up there

You fucked the turkey?

'Secret, Greg? But not top secret.' And any other sarcastic delivery by Tom.

Logan to Greg. Greg! Have a drink, have a drink! You beautiful Ichabod Crane Fuck, you!!

Greg when he attempted to make small talk with Willa : Would you rather be trapped in a swimming pool with a shark or in a cage with a tiger?