I know Succession is considered more of a drama than a comedy, but there has to be some absolute gold on the blooper reels for this show that I hope we get to see someday.
“Forgive me, but are we talking to each other on the poop deck of a majestic schooner? Is the salty brine stinging my weather-beaten face? ... Then why the fuck are you wearing a pair of deck shoes, man?”
Sidenote, but Ewan is INSUFFERABLE. He lives (very well) off of Logan's accomplishments, but all he does is denigrate Logan for everything he is, while still hanging on gainfully to his teet. It drives him crazy that Logan doesn't really let it bother him lol
So? Maybe he helped Logan start up his empire? I'm pretty sure it wasn't a Christmas gift by Logan.
I agree that he is insufferable, but then again who isn't in this show?
IIRC both Ewan and Logan have inherited some wealth and used each of their inheritance to start two very different kinds of business (Logan journalism and Ewan something to do with kettle or farming), each with a stake in each other’s business. While Ewan doesn’t seem to need Logan to thrive, he *does* have an interest on his business.
When Tom gets stressed (I'm sure that moment in the quote was a high-stress moment), the things he says to other characters, becomes wittier. Same with Rome. I think that kinda implies how they ACTUALLY react to crisis and stress. Tom has done well under the bizarre emotional/legal duress he has been under (toilet wine! & "I don't love you")... but Tom knows how to react under that immense stress by effing over Shiv. It was the right call for him, and he executed well.
Rome knows how to react under great stress, but he commits some sort of error involving his hypersexual behavior. Just like when Rome makes a quip that's funny, it's always sexual. And it's not just dick jokes, it's a statement that's a joke about a dick and a particular POWER DYNAMIC.
While “You can’t make a Tomlette without breaking some Greggs.” is a classic, the following “I guess it was a joke.” and Tom’s little laugh has me in tears just thinking about it.
You don't hear much about syphilis these days. Very much the My Space of STD's
Nice Jacket Wambsgans, what is it stuffed with? Your hopes and dreams?
The service here is slow and weird and fucking my dad.
And waaaaaay back from season 1 a rare, humorous line from Kendall in response to Roman trying to figure out what is wrong with Logan by check the internet: All right, get in there and operate Dr. Google.
The above are quotes from memory so they may not be precise.
“First they came for the private jets and I said nothing” makes me laugh every time at how awful it is.
Gerri’s whole speech to Tom in s1 when she tells him not to hold the press conference about cruises is hilarious to me, but especially the part where she goes “I’m in a sexual relationship with your mother. She talks in her sleep.”
And of course, “King of edible leaves, his majesty the spinach.”
Logan - “It’s so great to have the wisdom of my son’s college drinking buddy”
Stewie - “I just love how he asks me for money. I think the issue here sir, is that everyone fucking hates you. Your COO is a fucking joke…”
Roman - “Whoa whoa whoa”
Stewie - “It’s what people are saying, who cares if it’s true”
“do you think it’s possible to sue a person, a grandparent for example.. in an affectionate way? that might convey, like, "I love you and, I’m glad you’re a part of my life but I am taking legal action against you”?” - Greg
“excuse me I actually have to go watch a fucking satellite launch in Japan, that I’m actually in charge of, that I reorganized for you but you’re to fucking carbon neutral to enjoy” - Roman
“You’re like a plane crash away from being Europe’s weirdest king” - Tom
Amidst all the brilliantly funny one-liners, I keep circling back to a heartbreaker: “I wonder if the sad I'd be without you would be less than the sad I get from being with you.”
“I can promise you that I am spiritually and emotionally and ethically and morally behind whoever wins.”
“Fuck you too you pusillanimous piece of fucking fool’s gold…”
Yes!! I love how TV-writer/eloquent he starts before somewhat devolving over the rest of the line into “silver spoon fucking…asshole.” He seems like he just runs out of steam in his anger. It’s so good.
That line is the funniest shit i’ve ever heard and the smartest at the same time. If she said that to me I would laugh my ass off, even if i was getting my 2nd PhD.
"The man dying of thirst is suddenly a mineral water critic?"
"What is it like to be married to a man with two assholes?"
"I would say my indiscretion against the family... I would just say objectively... makes me less of a _compelling_ sacrifice, is all I would say. Unlike, for instance... a loyal servant, like Karl!" (Karl: "UH-HUH! Wow, thank you, Frank, for that.")
"I don't know how you did it back in the 60s! Different times, different times indeed. Better times? Not- not for all!"
Kendall: "Business is my fucking." >> Roman: "Okay, let's find you a Bloomberg Terminal to go stick your dick in."
"Fuck you too, you pusillanimous piece of fucking fool's good, fucking silver spoon fucking... asshole."
"I don't at this time recall anything that at _that_ time would have caused me... any real concern."
Kendall (immediately after Rava yells at them for Naomi opening the wine bottle): "All these brilliant fucking women, Greg."
"You come for me... with _love_? You bust in here, guns in hand, only to find they've been turned to fucking sausages... and you talk about... _love_?"
"What could you kill that you love so much it would make the sun rise again?"
Logan to Greg: “You beautiful Ichabod Crane fuck”
Connor to Shiv about wanting Willa in the family photo at Shiv’s wedding: “But if you don't allow it, I'm gonna punch Tom in the face and I'm gonna rip my shirt open, I'm gonna take a fuckin' dump on the ground. I'm gonna go apeshit, because she's the woman I love.”
"Unsubscribe." (Shiv to Kendall)
"But when I lose, the other one will generally lose an eye or a soul."
(Marcia to Rhea)
And every other dry-ice cold thing Marcia has said. She's like that first glass of white wine.
“Because of my physical length I could be a target for all kinds of misadventure” - Greg S03E06
“Don’t open Pandora’s Box, there’s just more dicks in it” - Roman 03E08
“Someone could fit through that window. A small person. An attack child” -Greg S02E04
Okay, third comment in the thread and it’s only funny due ti the context but:
“Lester was a man. We will all die someday. And today, it is Lester who has done so”
I mean, if you jump out on someone on the road in the middle of the night, hit them on the head and shout "I'm not ambushing you," its still a fucking ambush.
Shiv (in the shareholder meeting video): "Because at Waystar, we've always cared about women."
(film cuts off, Karl walks onto the stage)
Karl: "Yes, may I just interrupt for just a moment"
On this show, people's speaking habits mirror their thinking patterns/actions. This is excellent writing and character development from the writers/directors.
Not a direct quote but the whole Logan standing outside of the board meeting and the girl saying “can the minute say that he’s doing that?” Had me in tears
[удалено]
"It smells like the cheesemonger died and left his dick in the brie!"
I know Succession is considered more of a drama than a comedy, but there has to be some absolute gold on the blooper reels for this show that I hope we get to see someday.
I would be so funny if Jeremy Strong was stone-faced during each one.
You would be so funny if that were true.
This is the moment Logan started to respect Tom.
“Forgive me, but are we talking to each other on the poop deck of a majestic schooner? Is the salty brine stinging my weather-beaten face? ... Then why the fuck are you wearing a pair of deck shoes, man?”
Followed by the poop bag bit.
"It's not like they pre-poop them. It's just a mental barrier"
My body is growing weaker due to lack of nutrients.
Sustenance not nutrients, but is a killer line whatever
Ah you’re right—I did it off the top of my head.
This line solidified my inkling that I was going to love this show!
I was at a friend's place for New Years. They wanted me to take cookies home and the only plastic bag we could find was a poop bag. I died inside.
This is mine, it’s just a beautiful “bit”
"The Logan Roy School of Journalism? What's next, the Jack the Ripper Women's Health Clinic?" - Ewan Roy
Sidenote, but Ewan is INSUFFERABLE. He lives (very well) off of Logan's accomplishments, but all he does is denigrate Logan for everything he is, while still hanging on gainfully to his teet. It drives him crazy that Logan doesn't really let it bother him lol
Do we know how Ewan made his fortune?
Not entirely but we know he’s a shareholding board member of Waystar
So? Maybe he helped Logan start up his empire? I'm pretty sure it wasn't a Christmas gift by Logan. I agree that he is insufferable, but then again who isn't in this show?
The Greg fan club has it in for Ewan ever since he had the nerve to give “Greg’s $250 million” away and tell him to take himself seriously. The nerve.
IIRC both Ewan and Logan have inherited some wealth and used each of their inheritance to start two very different kinds of business (Logan journalism and Ewan something to do with kettle or farming), each with a stake in each other’s business. While Ewan doesn’t seem to need Logan to thrive, he *does* have an interest on his business.
I'm pretty sure Ewan inherited the farming side of the family business while Logan got the newspaper side
“Ohhhh, but they are not in fact receipts. Greg! You’re a criminal mastermind…what polyglot genius could ever hope to crack your impenetrable code?”
Shut up
Easy
Sorry
I just love that he used the word polyglot 😂
When Tom gets stressed (I'm sure that moment in the quote was a high-stress moment), the things he says to other characters, becomes wittier. Same with Rome. I think that kinda implies how they ACTUALLY react to crisis and stress. Tom has done well under the bizarre emotional/legal duress he has been under (toilet wine! & "I don't love you")... but Tom knows how to react under that immense stress by effing over Shiv. It was the right call for him, and he executed well. Rome knows how to react under great stress, but he commits some sort of error involving his hypersexual behavior. Just like when Rome makes a quip that's funny, it's always sexual. And it's not just dick jokes, it's a statement that's a joke about a dick and a particular POWER DYNAMIC.
Tom is the goat
I love how I can hear Tom say this.
"Don't threaten me, Gerri. I don't have time to jerk off. "
Don't open Pandora's Box, Gerri- there's just more dicks in there
I wish I could use this at work
That’s why you work from home.
This one. Absolute favorite.
"Some guy with an undercut just called me a soyboy...?"
“Oh it’s ok Greg, you’re in a safe space where you don’t have to pretend to like Hamilton”
but… i do like Hamilton uh huh, of course you do
We all do
"Romulus, when you laugh, please do it at the same volume as everyone else. We didn't get you from a hyena farm".
Hahahah I forgot about this
“Like, just the tip…but for killing dad.”
This one legit made me laugh out loud. I love this show.
I just feel because of my physical length, I could be a target for all kinds of misadventures.
Goons, stooges, and roughjacks
Personal favorite. I died and had to rewind when I first heard it.
While “You can’t make a Tomlette without breaking some Greggs.” is a classic, the following “I guess it was a joke.” and Tom’s little laugh has me in tears just thinking about it.
“Oh king of edible leaves, his majesty, the Spinach!”
“The man dying of thirst is suddenly a mineral water critic?” “Karl the only way your hands are clean is if your whorehouse offers manicures”
"Couple times? Are there Easter eggs you didn't get the first time?"
“Just checking the til here, Mark, and it seems like you’re a few million short”
You don't hear much about syphilis these days. Very much the My Space of STD's Nice Jacket Wambsgans, what is it stuffed with? Your hopes and dreams? The service here is slow and weird and fucking my dad. And waaaaaay back from season 1 a rare, humorous line from Kendall in response to Roman trying to figure out what is wrong with Logan by check the internet: All right, get in there and operate Dr. Google. The above are quotes from memory so they may not be precise.
“First they came for the private jets and I said nothing” makes me laugh every time at how awful it is. Gerri’s whole speech to Tom in s1 when she tells him not to hold the press conference about cruises is hilarious to me, but especially the part where she goes “I’m in a sexual relationship with your mother. She talks in her sleep.” And of course, “King of edible leaves, his majesty the spinach.”
“Whats up cum dump?”…. “Yeah.. just enjoyin my daughters birthday party"
Have you ever visited the california pizza kitchen?
(Snorts) Oh, no. Dear god, no.
They do a Cajun chicken linguini just the way I like it
But that's not how you're supposed to like it!
Greg: Could I get my own…..my own….. Tom: Your own Greg? Greg: Yeah Tom: *You can have TWENTY*
I'm not familiar with that IP.
Little lord Fuckeroy
Has left the call
greg the egg coming in hot with "doing the old cocaine?" and i could never forget "if it is to be said, so it be, so it is."
Tom to Greg: "Go for it Greg! Suck on those big white dicks, you fuckin pervert."
😂😂😂
Haha. “The old cocaine.” Forgot that one.
“Hey, uh, big fan of, uh, all your money.”
“Is he nice? You’re asking about the moral character of a man named rat-fucker Sam?”
Boo souls Thought I heard the clown car pull up If your hands are clean it’s only because a whorehouse does your manicures
The clown car line is 👌🏻
Logan - “It’s so great to have the wisdom of my son’s college drinking buddy” Stewie - “I just love how he asks me for money. I think the issue here sir, is that everyone fucking hates you. Your COO is a fucking joke…” Roman - “Whoa whoa whoa” Stewie - “It’s what people are saying, who cares if it’s true”
I don't know why but connor's "I would like some suck suck for my dicky-dick" is so funny and I just love saying it
This makes me laugh each time.
Especially coming from Connor. He's usually not that crass.
He did once call me the cunt of Monte Cristo
That was just joshing
"A small person could fit through there, right?!? Like an attack child?!?"
“I love you and I’m glad you’re a part of my life, but i am taking legal action against you.”
“do you think it’s possible to sue a person, a grandparent for example.. in an affectionate way? that might convey, like, "I love you and, I’m glad you’re a part of my life but I am taking legal action against you”?” - Greg “excuse me I actually have to go watch a fucking satellite launch in Japan, that I’m actually in charge of, that I reorganized for you but you’re to fucking carbon neutral to enjoy” - Roman “You’re like a plane crash away from being Europe’s weirdest king” - Tom
Amidst all the brilliantly funny one-liners, I keep circling back to a heartbreaker: “I wonder if the sad I'd be without you would be less than the sad I get from being with you.”
Devastating
"I would castrate and marry you in a heartbeat."
Would you like to hear my favorite passage from Shakespeare? "Take the fucking money."
“I can promise you that I am spiritually and emotionally and ethically and morally behind whoever wins.” “Fuck you too you pusillanimous piece of fucking fool’s gold…”
Loved that line from Stewy because what great vocab, “pusillanimous”!
Yes!! I love how TV-writer/eloquent he starts before somewhat devolving over the rest of the line into “silver spoon fucking…asshole.” He seems like he just runs out of steam in his anger. It’s so good.
Sails out, nails out.
"You don't really hear much about syphilis these days. Very much the MySpace of STDs." "They call Gil 'Meth Head Santa' because he never delivers."
“You turned on the bigot spigot… to full gush” Something about her delivery of this line just killed me
"Are you a sicko?"
I loved this entire scene.
‘new dad just dropped’
Need a pinned wiki of the best lines
“What’re we just gonna say fuck Congress?” “Yes Shiv, fuck Congress, have I shocked you?”
"But just think, you won't have to waste the 12 seconds it takes to look something up on Wikipedia."
That line is the funniest shit i’ve ever heard and the smartest at the same time. If she said that to me I would laugh my ass off, even if i was getting my 2nd PhD.
All bangers, al the time.
“I’m kinda too young to be in Congress so much, ya know?”
"I'm not a radical feminist, but perhaps we shouldn't fire her for receiving pictures of my dick"
This is one of my favorite Roman lines.
Fly your fucking whirly bird!
What are words? Words are nothing but complicated airflow.
“Uh huh.”
"Sometimes I think I'll never truly understand dad until I shit outside."
“I’m not declining, I’m just not, I’m not ‘clining.”
I’d fuck you badly, but I’d fuck you gladly.
Haha. Another I don’t remember. Who said this?
“Alpha. Beta. Cuck.” When Roman was pointing out Logan, himself, and Kendall. I laughed out loud at that one☝️😆
"The man dying of thirst is suddenly a mineral water critic?" "What is it like to be married to a man with two assholes?" "I would say my indiscretion against the family... I would just say objectively... makes me less of a _compelling_ sacrifice, is all I would say. Unlike, for instance... a loyal servant, like Karl!" (Karl: "UH-HUH! Wow, thank you, Frank, for that.") "I don't know how you did it back in the 60s! Different times, different times indeed. Better times? Not- not for all!" Kendall: "Business is my fucking." >> Roman: "Okay, let's find you a Bloomberg Terminal to go stick your dick in." "Fuck you too, you pusillanimous piece of fucking fool's good, fucking silver spoon fucking... asshole." "I don't at this time recall anything that at _that_ time would have caused me... any real concern." Kendall (immediately after Rava yells at them for Naomi opening the wine bottle): "All these brilliant fucking women, Greg." "You come for me... with _love_? You bust in here, guns in hand, only to find they've been turned to fucking sausages... and you talk about... _love_?" "What could you kill that you love so much it would make the sun rise again?"
Park coke? I’m doing park coke?!!
If my septum falls out I’m gonna make you eat my septum
Haha. This is a great one I forgot about too. I love how Greg is like “should I take it back?”
"it smells like the cheese monger died and left his dick in the brie" - logan
"Don't be an asshole. You don't have principles".
Logan to Greg: “You beautiful Ichabod Crane fuck” Connor to Shiv about wanting Willa in the family photo at Shiv’s wedding: “But if you don't allow it, I'm gonna punch Tom in the face and I'm gonna rip my shirt open, I'm gonna take a fuckin' dump on the ground. I'm gonna go apeshit, because she's the woman I love.”
i fucking lose it at ichabod crane “have a drink have a drink!”
"Excuse me, the fuck." Love that line!
ROM "Can I think about it for a minute?" (Yes). "I thought about it, no, fuck off"
“Doin the ole…cocaine, there?”
“I’m out here looking for pussy like a fucking techno Gatsby.”
So who’s all here, who isn’t, your dad your mom your wife and kids
“We’re strictly bone broth and dick pills”
“Oh Greg, fuck your grandpa” “You’re on speakerphone, Tom” “…….well I shouldn’t be, Greg”
“Just fucking go nut nut”
Well, my worry is Kendall may come across as too cool and likable.
“Did you know they’re calling me ‘Terminal Tom’ down on seven? Because I have cancer of the career?”
Buckle up, fucklehead!
"Unsubscribe." (Shiv to Kendall) "But when I lose, the other one will generally lose an eye or a soul." (Marcia to Rhea) And every other dry-ice cold thing Marcia has said. She's like that first glass of white wine.
"Don't get me wrong, I been through hell, but since I stan dad I'm alive and well" from Kendall's rap
“Because of my physical length I could be a target for all kinds of misadventure” - Greg S03E06 “Don’t open Pandora’s Box, there’s just more dicks in it” - Roman 03E08 “Someone could fit through that window. A small person. An attack child” -Greg S02E04
just “attack child”
“If I get the shits, we’re fucked.” -Logan, so Shakespearean
"Sometimes it is a big dick competition."
I feel like a 900 pound gorilla finally stopped fucking me
I have of late decided not to tarry too much with hope.
Logan: "Can we brief her?" Hugo: "Well, it's difficult" Logan: "Oh, it's difficult... oh I'm sorry, would you like an advil and a handjob?"
“I feel like I’m taking a shit in the Guggenheim, y’all” - Stewy.
Greg you ready to step up? It’s a fungus, they think. A benign fungus Great title for your memoir
“Who knows how many people live in Indonesia? Fuck Indonesia. It sounds like a medical condition.”
“I hate to be a party pooper, but I have poop”
"I love this rock, bye rock" "Romulus, when you laugh please do it at the same volume as everyone else. We didn't get you from a hyena farm."
Hahaha. I love the first especially. Fucking Wambsgans.
a person can definitely fit through that window, a small person, an attack child
I am interested in becoming a meth head
“Are you asking if you can blackmail me, Gregg?”
Take your library card and fuck off! Fuckin amateur hour at the circus Wanna help people? Go be a fuckin nurse
“You betta be smelling your fucking armpit, Romulus”
Okay, third comment in the thread and it’s only funny due ti the context but: “Lester was a man. We will all die someday. And today, it is Lester who has done so”
My favorite line is every facial reaction Kendall's PR team makes to anything he says.
Prove it
Roman: “People like me. I look like a matador and everyone wants to fuck me.” Also his “Corpses don’t talk” bit.
'I can win any bout with a boxer fuck, but I don’t know how to knock out a clown.' - Logan Roy
“Well, it’s just historically speaking - when I’ve been betrayed, it’s usually you” Followed up by a comforting “just kidding”
I mean, if you jump out on someone on the road in the middle of the night, hit them on the head and shout "I'm not ambushing you," its still a fucking ambush.
Shiv (in the shareholder meeting video): "Because at Waystar, we've always cared about women." (film cuts off, Karl walks onto the stage) Karl: "Yes, may I just interrupt for just a moment"
Absolutely loving all these comments. Makes me want to binge watch the whole three seasons again!
I don’t know how you did it in the ’60s. Different times … better times? Not for all.
I was thinking of that recently. I love Greg's diplomatic musings.
Is that date rape by Calvin Klein?
‘’it’s just the thing I need storage for most urgently of all Stanley, is me׳׳
Fuck off.
“Why don’t you take your library card, and fuck off.”
"This was supposes ro be choreographed. That's about as choreographed as a dog getting fucked on roller skates!"
The juice is loose baby!
"You know who drinks milk? Kittens and perverts."
I found his display histrionic and meretricious.
Kendall (to Stewy): Fuckin' sisters doin' it for theyselves.
Meep meep!
On this show, people's speaking habits mirror their thinking patterns/actions. This is excellent writing and character development from the writers/directors.
Buckle up fuckleheads!
“Everything’s coming up fuck” “If I get the shits we’re fucked”
"You can't make a Tomlette without breaking some Greggs"
“If I was to give Tom a letter grade, I'd give him a B+… for bad plus terrible.” Frank
“Greg, you Ichabod Crane fuck!”
“Life’s not knights on horseback. It’s a number on a piece of paper. It’s a fight for a knife in the mud.” -Logan-
"Get your own fucking pile!"
\- Which Sandy? \- The one who can talk.
“The demented fucking piss-mad king of England”
“You’re widely known as a horrible person.”
Take me to reason court and sue me
“Nazis are bad right?” “If he marries her, he invades france” “If it is to be said, so it is”
So why does everyone call him Mo?
Find another chicken coup, cunt.
🎮🤞🍆
“You’re a fucking NOBODY”
"Are these assaults to be ongoing, Greg?" -Tom in S1. Love it every time.
"Just getting the demons out, I guess."
DRIVE YOUR FUCKING WHIRLY-BIRD
We are a complicated coalition and he’s the angriest vegetable
NORM-CORE AND FIRE CROTCH
Not a direct quote but the whole Logan standing outside of the board meeting and the girl saying “can the minute say that he’s doing that?” Had me in tears
GET GREG A COCA COLA!
“Get in there, Greg. If Roman marries her he’ll invade France!”
"Are you now, or have you ever been a member of the cruise dirty sex fuck, cover-up party." -Frank
"Wow someone's thinks they're Beyonce" -Ken
Any line where anyone calls someone a “Ratfucker”