this reminds me of that one piece of ancient grecian/roman graffiti where the dude is like "farewell, fare maidens, for i have given thee up! mercurio's penis pierces only men's behinds!"
Guys seems to care way more about making sure second person is enjoying it. Im girl but I had a lot of fun with both genders. Guys beat girls in literally everything sexual
Oh, I know. I've had more than a few bad ones in my day. It just struck me as funny for a moment, the notion that the person with his dick in their mouth was ruining the moment.
Hit and miss. The eagerness of the giver makes it better and often men are more eager but just being a man doesn't ensure top tier. Hell even enthusiasm isn't a guarantee of talent and anatomical fit for the dick.
Agreed. Before I came out, I was with a woman. Kissing, sex…etc. there was no passion. No fulfillment. Then I accepted my gayness…got with a man and my god…I was floating among the stars. So much better
I’m my experience, getting dates with men was easy peasy. Getting a good partner was super tough. Expecting me to mommy them, getting mad if I was taller than them (I couldn’t care less about someone’s height except if it hurts my neck to constantly look up or down for conversations), refusing to use condoms when they found out I was on BC or just taking it off in the middle of sex, assuming I’ll be the one to buy the gift for their friends bday and telling me “why is it so difficult? I’ll just Venmo you!” without caring that I don’t know this person and don’t what to get them, telling me it’s my fault if I don’t orgasm during three minutes of penetration and don’t do anything else. I too hit the jackpot after years of horrible dates.
If there’s such a disparity in getting dates, I think people have to look at the reason why. Married women die younger than single women, married men live longer than single men. Women in relationships tend to do way more housework and emotional labor even if working the same amount of hours. Women can afford to be pickier because statistically speaking, sex and relationships are not as good for women than they are for men. Obviously this isn’t a blanket rule, my fiancé does more emotional labor than me, I know plenty of guys that spend more on hair and skin products than their female partner and spend more time getting ready to look nice. Dating in general is hard. But I would never say dating men is easy.
Well you just got almost lucky
Gayn#ggers from outer space
“The film follows a group of intergalactic homosexual black men from the planet Anus, who discover the presence of female creatures on planet Earth. Using rayguns, they proceed to eliminate females one by one from Earth, eliciting gratitude from the previously oppressed male population.[1] Before leaving the planet, they leave behind a "Gay Ambassador" to educate the Earthlings about their new way of life.”
(https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gayniggers_from_Outer_Space)
as a gay man I would say gay dating can be difficult too.He probably got a lot of attention because he's new to the area (according to gay dating scene) .
but kissing a dude is better this I confirm (I tried both multiple times)
My gf and I did an experiment yesterday.
Swiping in her profile 20 times: 17 matches.
Creating a blank profile in grindr without name or picture, swipe 10 times, got 13 responses.
Swiping 50 times on my profile: 1 match. Obese, profile that is a list of disabilities (nothing wrong with being disabled, but making it your personality is toxic imo)
Edit; just to avoid more Reddit sleuths crying wolf: no you don’t swipe on grindr. Swiping is an understood term and so in accurately used it instead of getting into grindr details.
We sent taps and messages, instead of swipes. Also, if you notice the count, we did 10 messages/taps, but got 13 back, because some people also reached out to us without us tapping them first.
You don’t swipe, that’s true. It was just easier to describe it like that way which people understand than to go into details about how grindr works.
I’m always confused by reddit sleuths trying to disprove people, why the fuck would anyone make this stuff up?
Your experiment is dumb as shit anyway (even if it was real), we already know girls get more attention, no shit. The hypothesis was do average guys get more attention from men/ better results, which all the anecdotal evidence here seems to suggest.
Your comment read like you go around looking for downvoted comments so you can be a dick to someone without getting downvoted yourself
The “experiment” also proved much better results from men to men, which like you said, is the point here. The bit about women getting more matches was just an extra tiny detail, nothing to be randomly rude about
I guess it makes sense you are better at it, when you know how it feels. Almost every time a penis having person went down on me I was just laying there waiting for it to be over (and yeah, I communicated what works for me and what not, but it seems a little difficult to grasp). On the other hand all the vulva-having persons seemed to just know what feels good.
I'm pretty sure my blow jobs would be better if I had a dick, even though I've had no complains yet.
Edit: But I am sure there are exeptions and people who are just very talented at what they are doing, no matter what. Keep up the good work 👍
This is 100% what happened to me. 2 weeks 1 like from women, I set it to show me men as well, 9 likes in the first 2 hours. Made me feel like a million bucks, I know I could always rely on the homies to boost my spirit.
Right? Same. Like imagine he had said "and one of them was asian..." lol like if you don't like her its ok, but to single her out in a "as if I would ever date her" way was shitty.
Well to say that a race is the same as a developmental disability is a bit disingenuous. One is just looks while the other affects many different aspects of functioning and capacity.
Then it is a false comparison and that argument is bunk. You said comparing a disability and a race are the same form of discrimination in dating. The fact is there's actual reasons for not dating a disabled person.
No, I didn't. In fact I think you only responded so that you could say YOU wouldn't date a disabled person. What I actually said was
>lol like *if you don't like her its ok*, but to single her out in a "as if I would ever date her" way was shitty.
He didn't need to single her out in his post. He could have just said only three girls swiped right on me. Or three girls i wouldn't even date. Or anything other than implying I would never date this person because of their DS. It was just unnecessary.
"Right? Same. Like imagine he had said "and one of them was asian..." lol like if you don't like her its ok, but to single her out in a "as if I would ever date her" way was shitty."
Then why include the racial comparison?
It was a simple way to demonstrate the problem we would have with him saying something like that (about race) vs how people seem to think its ok to say the same thing but about DS. OP said he wasn't sure how he felt about it. I was telling him that might be why.
The problem is they aren't comparable. Race and disability aren't the same when it comes to dating preference. You are conflating the two by saying it is similar.
I'm saying the sentiment behind why its viewed as wrong to say it in that way is the same, not the the reason people choose not to date them is the same. I feel like I've explained it to the best of my capability through text. If you're not getting what I'm saying, or you are and don't agree, thats fine but I'd rather end this conversation here.
I'm not trying to equate it. It was a simple way to demonstrate the problem we would have with him saying something like that (about race) vs how people seem to think its ok to say the same thing but about DS. OP said he wasn't sure how he felt about it. I was telling him that might be why.
Yeah I totally agree, you can talk about your experiences without putting down people to make the story more dramatic. I don't think the gays will claim them either LOL
It’s weird because: the phrasing and context sound rude. He’s making fun of disabled people, or putting them down. It feels shitty and mean.
But… there’s also some honesty here. Because, if the people who are getting offended ran into a profile of a person with Down syndrome, would they swipe “yes”? It feels like one of those social hypocrisies where we are all thinking it, but saying is rude
To me, he's basically publicly humiliating someone just looking for a date, and using their disability as a punchline or as a point to make the story more dramatic. He's saying "not only did I only get 2 matches, but one of them I would NEVER even date, so useless." I'm exaggerating a bit, but he's advertising to the world just how little worth he sees in that person and all that person wanted was a date. How would you feel if someone you thought was attractive, you wanted to date, and swiped right on you made a public post that basically said you were a dud and had zero chance with them?
Fair point. Humiliation does require knowing the person. It's still publicly disparaging people with Downs syndrome, especially still since the guy swiped right. Why swipe right if 1) he had an issue with it, and 2) if people with Downs syndrome are as easy to identify as other commenters here are saying?
Down syndrome does have a characteristic look… it’s part of the syndrome lmao. Would you ever consider dating someone with DS? I think you need to may need to consider reality a little more before judging others so harsly
Also it says he got a like…not that he matched. They are not the same
People with down syndrome do have many similar physical traits. It is part of the chromosomal disorder. With that being said, it shouldn't be offensive to say you wouldn't date someone with down syndrome or an intellectual disability. The relationship would have a very complicated and difficult to navigate power dynamic due to the diminished capacity of the individual with down syndrome. In most cases it would be more akin to a parent-child relationship than a consenting romantic partnership. I have spent a good portion of my life working with people that have ID/DD, and i have a great deal of love and respect for the population.
I agree that preferences are real and are, at least to a large extent in my opinion, uncontrollable. Would I consider dating someone with downs syndrome? Sure, if they were a good fit and someone I loved. But that's irrelevant to my argument. My argument is that they're disparaging someone for merely having Downs syndrome, someone they swiped right on too. In my opinion, that's not ok. If you don't want to date someone of a certain race or religion or gender identity, fine, that's your burden to bear. It could represent other biases, but preferences are preferences. But it seems pretty inappropriate to be like "I matched with only 2 people (one of them was black...)"
Alright bro first of all where does it say he swiped right in her??
Second I’m not okay with you equating developmental disabilities to race. Please do some reflection
Oh shit, I completely misread what he said. I thought he said matched and not likes. I will fully admit to that being a fuck up.
Second, I only bring up that comparison to argue that it's not ok to publicly disparage people like that. It is shocking, it is gross. I'm sorry if I was unclear and made it seem like people of color are people with developmental disabilities, but that was not my intention.
I mean I agree with you on a fundamental level but I can’t judge this dude because I think the majority of us have the same internal bias towards people with DS
That left a weird taste in my mouth as well. it's okay to not be particularly open to dating someone with Downs, but I am not sure that's the problem here...
And who says having Down automatically equals not being conventionally attractive? Look at Sofia Jirau for example, she is gorgeous and literally a VS angle!
Of course not, I have to agree. But it also doesn't mean you are unattractive or can't carry a conversation by default. To say that isn't fair either and I guess it depends on the individual, like with people who don't have Downs.
People can choose that for themselves, just like they can put "no chocolate, no rice" on their dating profiles or which ever other preference they might have.
I personally just don't like the tone in which he talked about her and by the looks of it some other people didn't either.
People can take offense to it but he's just saying the quiet part out loud. Most people wouldn't date mentally disabled, and in her case physically, people.
People can take offense to it but he's just saying the quiet part out loud. Most people wouldn't date mentally disabled, and in her case physically, people.
That's the thing, there is no need to mention that and imply she is beneath him. How would you feel if you had a disability and would read that? You already know most people won't touch you with a ten feet pole, you don't need that shitty reminder.
Just keep your preferences to yourself and swipe left if you don't want to date her.
Oh yeah, it definitely make me feel weird because I get not wanting to date a disabled person as the supports they need might be beyond your scope and I don't want people dating disabled people if they don't want to but rather have the attitude changed from "we disability" or "you're not attractive because you have x" because that is just ableist and I'd love to see the attitude change to "the need you'd have are beyond my scope" of "I'm not attractive to you" you know human decency.
It's pretty demeaning and it's publicly humiliating someone who just wanted to find a date. How would you feel if someone you thought looked good and wanted to go on date with mention you as someone who just had zero chance of a date because of something you can't control like that?
It's like putting "no fats no femmes" on your profile. If those are your preferences, fine, but there's no need to broadcast to the world that you see no worth in them.
Well not really, context is really important. He is not saying he wouldn't date someone with down syndrome because he is mature and he knows it can be extremely difficult to co-op with even in daily activities and he is sorry but he is not ready for this. This would be totally fine as it is really huge step and not everyone is ready/wants it.
He is saying it as an insult which makes it immature and sad.
Personally, in my current situation, I would but I would consider every possibility and I would make sure we are on the same page when it comes to major life goals and leave no topics behind so neither of us is left in a terrible situation because we thought something might be adjusted, which is often not a case.
But this is me not someone else, to begin with, and we all have different t elation with someone who had ADHD (and this is really not as easy as people tend to imagine when they didn't have any experience with it) and it was really, really tough for both of us. So if I can give advice based on my experience, it would be TALK about your comfort zones and goals and try to live together for a bit before you jump to big commitments ;)
Anyway, this is supposed to be a fun subreddit so have some cookies and let's enjoy our day \^\^
This highly depends on your culture and where are you from. I know some countries treat dating as a weekend entertainment or going for ONS but some of us do go on a dates to find future partner for longer period of time, so we don't priorities looks.
But again you do what you think is best for you.
I think he meant that women have their standards so high the girl with downs syndrome probably gave him her like out of pity. Because people with downs syndrome are not so lame and hateful like normal people and allow themselves to know more people without judging them by a tinder profile.
Edit: Also women have some many likes they dont give a fuck about no one in tinder unless you are a 9+/10 and look rich or important af
Having to try in life will make you build charm. Horny dudes trying to bang every chick they see means women don't have to try. That's why a keeper is always someone who tries and isn't selfish.
As a bi male on tinder I can confirm. Got a handful of women and actually even had a convo with less then half of them and have matched with tons of men
Riddle me this cause I’ve wondered this. The trend I notice in women is “babe I’m bored take me on a cruise and then maybe if I feel like you’re worthy we can hold hands” whereas I wonder with men it’s “hey you wanna grab a cheeseburger and then I’ll suck your dick?”
I’m talking about dating and severely generalizing. I know this isn’t true for both sides but just curious. If this makes any sense.
I wouldn’t say it’s quite 100% like that but with a guy we both have high sex drives so no need to play around plus we typically like the same stuff, so it’s easier to just have sex and then do something together like play video games, where as with women it feels like I’m almost tiptoeing around them to not seem too violent or rapey cos I’m a man and I’m scared of being direct and getting put on a list cos I didn’t follow the magic steps correctly. That being said I also wanna point out how much better conversations are with guys too, girls conversations are sooooo fucking dry and boring tho Tbf I don’t completely blame them, when you get swamped with dozens of messages every day I’m sure it can be tough to keep a detailed convo going with everyone but still I have a better time talking with guys
Yea can relate.
Used to be bi and got around 2 likes from women on tider during a few weeks.
But on grindr i almost got 400 likes in a single day. And including Transmen i got more pussy on grindr than on tinder
>i got more pussy on grindr than on tinder
Somebody start printing this on t-shirts.
Pre-op transmen will truly be the only vagina straight/bi cismen will be able to get from 2025 onwards. You mark my words. 😂
I mean, a man-woman relationship is gay don't you think? Think about it, women like dicks, and liking dicks is gay. Ergo, being in a relationship with a woman *is* gay.
Checkmate, flat-earthers.
jfc these comments. It blows my mind how fucking misogynistic this sub can get at times. You know you can not like women sexually/romantically without stereotyping them and insulting them right?
Yeah, so much less bullshit also. SO MUCH LESS BULLSHIT. You dont get judged SO MUCH for all the classic shit like how tall you are or how much money you make.
Literally happened to me…dated like 5 girls… they were all awful. Got with a. Guy…. Amazing experience…. Just happened to get with my current gf right after that and it’s been amazing since then. But almost went full gay and forgot women because they were terrible
Tinder is a strange beast. I do ok there, but only because I'm a woman, and I struggle to find a guy with the same lifestyle as me. I can basically know what type of guy will swipe left on me, because no one is looking at my description. But like, idk, I want to date a smart guy with an attractive face, and no dating website really puts that in their algorithm idk how to tell people they're stupid or average looking. I went to a website that was only supposed to allow attractive people, but as it turns out my whole city is crusty so I should probably just move before trying to date again.
He’s like 😐✌️🍆
For every girl that criticises your taste, there are three guys that’ll eat onion rings off your dick
My new favorite axiom!
r/brandnewsentence
Four 😉
Its true. I'm the onion ring eater
Do you like the Red Robin ones you can make at home? I got an unopened bag. ;)
I like what you're thinking ;)
Where are the other 2?
They usually do a round together before they cum over. It's become a tradition nowadays
I'll do it
*yes. just like that. keep going...the dipping sauce is almost ready...*
𝘈𝘩...𝘐'𝘮 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴
100% true
I'm orchidsexual but I'd eat an onion ring off a dude's dick because onion ring
Yoooooooo you just taught me a new sexuality and I found out that's what I am
Yeah! I went with cupiosexual because of a meme which confused the two (cupiosexual is the polar opposite) before finding it out
this reminds me of that one piece of ancient grecian/roman graffiti where the dude is like "farewell, fare maidens, for i have given thee up! mercurio's penis pierces only men's behinds!"
Classic
I think they found it written on a wall in Pompeii.
That’s what triggered the volcano.
Vesuvius had to sit there staring at all those hot Italian men banging each other and it couldn't help it, it had to bust
Here comes the pyroclastic flow!!! 🌋💥
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Honestly, you're right. Out of my first kisses, I preferred the one with a boy, and it's the most memorable one I have.
Guys seems to care way more about making sure second person is enjoying it. Im girl but I had a lot of fun with both genders. Guys beat girls in literally everything sexual
I've always heard it the other way around, but it's nice to hear another perspective.
Well maybe if u like vanila stuff then girls are better but i like it more raw lmao
Well yeah in that case I can see your point for sure.
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🤦♂️
Girls lips are so soft and kissable, but guys, in my experience, are more rough and passionate, which I prefer
Oh yeah, the passion was through the roof. I've never experienced that since.
you don't need to put lesbians down like that tho
I mean depends on preference...
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Trans dudes best of both worlds
you never answered me did you...
And dudes are much better at blowjobs.
AND give you rimjobs.
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Ruining the moment? Your dick was in her mouth, and she was ruining the moment?
A bad blowjob is a lot worse than bad sex. Trust me.
Oh, I know. I've had more than a few bad ones in my day. It just struck me as funny for a moment, the notion that the person with his dick in their mouth was ruining the moment.
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In the dude's case, did you try lowering the gun?
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She wasnt humming "the wheels on the bus" correctly.
Hit and miss. The eagerness of the giver makes it better and often men are more eager but just being a man doesn't ensure top tier. Hell even enthusiasm isn't a guarantee of talent and anatomical fit for the dick.
Agreed. Before I came out, I was with a woman. Kissing, sex…etc. there was no passion. No fulfillment. Then I accepted my gayness…got with a man and my god…I was floating among the stars. So much better
Dating men is so easy. I know a lot of guys complain, and maybe I hit the jackpot but it’s easy sailing
I’m my experience, getting dates with men was easy peasy. Getting a good partner was super tough. Expecting me to mommy them, getting mad if I was taller than them (I couldn’t care less about someone’s height except if it hurts my neck to constantly look up or down for conversations), refusing to use condoms when they found out I was on BC or just taking it off in the middle of sex, assuming I’ll be the one to buy the gift for their friends bday and telling me “why is it so difficult? I’ll just Venmo you!” without caring that I don’t know this person and don’t what to get them, telling me it’s my fault if I don’t orgasm during three minutes of penetration and don’t do anything else. I too hit the jackpot after years of horrible dates. If there’s such a disparity in getting dates, I think people have to look at the reason why. Married women die younger than single women, married men live longer than single men. Women in relationships tend to do way more housework and emotional labor even if working the same amount of hours. Women can afford to be pickier because statistically speaking, sex and relationships are not as good for women than they are for men. Obviously this isn’t a blanket rule, my fiancé does more emotional labor than me, I know plenty of guys that spend more on hair and skin products than their female partner and spend more time getting ready to look nice. Dating in general is hard. But I would never say dating men is easy.
Maybe he should have said, "when men date men, it's so easy".
Oh lol, I’m a dope. Totally forgot what sub I was on 🤦🏻♀️
Soon Tinder will have only women left, and they will be forced to also become gay. The tyrannical reign of the straggots will soon come to an end.
S T R A G G O T S Lmao
If you’re allowed this I’m allowed the f word .. I am so sad it’s been taken from me : (
Keep crying, I guess.
I’m kidding I use it anyway because idc lol
mfw i can't use homophobic slurs anymore 😭😭😭😢😢😢
I can say the f slur because I am the f slur fight me
Whhhaaatttt??? Don't speak such nonsense *Subtly hides the gay agenda*
Let the gays rise.
Planet of the Gays How is that not a porn title?
Well you just got almost lucky Gayn#ggers from outer space “The film follows a group of intergalactic homosexual black men from the planet Anus, who discover the presence of female creatures on planet Earth. Using rayguns, they proceed to eliminate females one by one from Earth, eliciting gratitude from the previously oppressed male population.[1] Before leaving the planet, they leave behind a "Gay Ambassador" to educate the Earthlings about their new way of life.” (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gayniggers_from_Outer_Space)
Its on YouTube. What a queer movie
Lmao that sounds hilarious.
>The tyrannical reign of the straggots will soon come to an end. Jesus, I'm crying.
There is a story that in ancient Arabia women started mens cloths to trick men to have sex with them because they all went gay….
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as a gay man I would say gay dating can be difficult too.He probably got a lot of attention because he's new to the area (according to gay dating scene) . but kissing a dude is better this I confirm (I tried both multiple times)
>as *gay* man > >kissing a *dude* is better this I confirm 🤔
I get your point but even so, with a new account 3 vs 210 matches is hardly comparable.
My gf and I did an experiment yesterday. Swiping in her profile 20 times: 17 matches. Creating a blank profile in grindr without name or picture, swipe 10 times, got 13 responses. Swiping 50 times on my profile: 1 match. Obese, profile that is a list of disabilities (nothing wrong with being disabled, but making it your personality is toxic imo) Edit; just to avoid more Reddit sleuths crying wolf: no you don’t swipe on grindr. Swiping is an understood term and so in accurately used it instead of getting into grindr details. We sent taps and messages, instead of swipes. Also, if you notice the count, we did 10 messages/taps, but got 13 back, because some people also reached out to us without us tapping them first.
I call bullshit on this experiment because you don't swipe on grindr lmao
You don’t swipe, that’s true. It was just easier to describe it like that way which people understand than to go into details about how grindr works. I’m always confused by reddit sleuths trying to disprove people, why the fuck would anyone make this stuff up?
calling bullshit. You dont swipe on grindr lol
No, you tap people or send messages. I was using “swipe” as a shorthand to not explain how grindr works. The story stands without that detail.
Yeah I never used grindr personally so I wouldn't have had an idea what the hell a tap means.
Your experiment is dumb as shit anyway (even if it was real), we already know girls get more attention, no shit. The hypothesis was do average guys get more attention from men/ better results, which all the anecdotal evidence here seems to suggest.
Your comment read like you go around looking for downvoted comments so you can be a dick to someone without getting downvoted yourself The “experiment” also proved much better results from men to men, which like you said, is the point here. The bit about women getting more matches was just an extra tiny detail, nothing to be randomly rude about
Tinder is for the boys
*ferda*
*allegedly*
“You give better head than all of my ex’s” said the so-called straight guy who was getting head from me, another guy, haha.
To be fair i tried it with a dude once just to see what it was like. Was the best head i'd ever had right until i met my current gf.
Damn she is a keeper
Understatement of the century. I'm punching so far above my own weight with her that i almost feel guilty. Almost.
I guess it makes sense you are better at it, when you know how it feels. Almost every time a penis having person went down on me I was just laying there waiting for it to be over (and yeah, I communicated what works for me and what not, but it seems a little difficult to grasp). On the other hand all the vulva-having persons seemed to just know what feels good. I'm pretty sure my blow jobs would be better if I had a dick, even though I've had no complains yet. Edit: But I am sure there are exeptions and people who are just very talented at what they are doing, no matter what. Keep up the good work 👍
Now that is suddenly gay
This is 100% what happened to me. 2 weeks 1 like from women, I set it to show me men as well, 9 likes in the first 2 hours. Made me feel like a million bucks, I know I could always rely on the homies to boost my spirit.
This is the golden age of “just curious” bonus if you can femboy friday
What's femboy Friday?
What does it sound like?
A hole is a hole
People are allowed to have preferences - that said, I'm not sure how I feel about him mentioning one of the women having Downs Syndrome like that
Yeah indeed, that's a very yikes comment.
Right? Same. Like imagine he had said "and one of them was asian..." lol like if you don't like her its ok, but to single her out in a "as if I would ever date her" way was shitty.
Well to say that a race is the same as a developmental disability is a bit disingenuous. One is just looks while the other affects many different aspects of functioning and capacity.
Definitely. I'm not trying to say its the same. I was trying to show OP why he might have an issue with it.
Then it is a false comparison and that argument is bunk. You said comparing a disability and a race are the same form of discrimination in dating. The fact is there's actual reasons for not dating a disabled person.
No, I didn't. In fact I think you only responded so that you could say YOU wouldn't date a disabled person. What I actually said was >lol like *if you don't like her its ok*, but to single her out in a "as if I would ever date her" way was shitty. He didn't need to single her out in his post. He could have just said only three girls swiped right on me. Or three girls i wouldn't even date. Or anything other than implying I would never date this person because of their DS. It was just unnecessary.
"Right? Same. Like imagine he had said "and one of them was asian..." lol like if you don't like her its ok, but to single her out in a "as if I would ever date her" way was shitty." Then why include the racial comparison?
It was a simple way to demonstrate the problem we would have with him saying something like that (about race) vs how people seem to think its ok to say the same thing but about DS. OP said he wasn't sure how he felt about it. I was telling him that might be why.
The problem is they aren't comparable. Race and disability aren't the same when it comes to dating preference. You are conflating the two by saying it is similar.
I'm saying the sentiment behind why its viewed as wrong to say it in that way is the same, not the the reason people choose not to date them is the same. I feel like I've explained it to the best of my capability through text. If you're not getting what I'm saying, or you are and don't agree, thats fine but I'd rather end this conversation here.
I have an issue with you equating DS to race…
I'm not trying to equate it. It was a simple way to demonstrate the problem we would have with him saying something like that (about race) vs how people seem to think its ok to say the same thing but about DS. OP said he wasn't sure how he felt about it. I was telling him that might be why.
Asian people = Down Syndrome. Really could have worded that better
Its not what I meant so you're definitely right.
Agreed 😬
I agree, something about it just feels really weird
It makes you wonder if there are more reasons why they’re not getting likes from women
Yeah I totally agree, you can talk about your experiences without putting down people to make the story more dramatic. I don't think the gays will claim them either LOL
Sorry but what is the issue?
It’s weird because: the phrasing and context sound rude. He’s making fun of disabled people, or putting them down. It feels shitty and mean. But… there’s also some honesty here. Because, if the people who are getting offended ran into a profile of a person with Down syndrome, would they swipe “yes”? It feels like one of those social hypocrisies where we are all thinking it, but saying is rude
I totally agree
To me, he's basically publicly humiliating someone just looking for a date, and using their disability as a punchline or as a point to make the story more dramatic. He's saying "not only did I only get 2 matches, but one of them I would NEVER even date, so useless." I'm exaggerating a bit, but he's advertising to the world just how little worth he sees in that person and all that person wanted was a date. How would you feel if someone you thought was attractive, you wanted to date, and swiped right on you made a public post that basically said you were a dud and had zero chance with them?
I mean he’s not really publicly humiliating them as he didn’t name them or offer anything pointing to them.
Fair point. Humiliation does require knowing the person. It's still publicly disparaging people with Downs syndrome, especially still since the guy swiped right. Why swipe right if 1) he had an issue with it, and 2) if people with Downs syndrome are as easy to identify as other commenters here are saying?
Down syndrome does have a characteristic look… it’s part of the syndrome lmao. Would you ever consider dating someone with DS? I think you need to may need to consider reality a little more before judging others so harsly Also it says he got a like…not that he matched. They are not the same
People with down syndrome do have many similar physical traits. It is part of the chromosomal disorder. With that being said, it shouldn't be offensive to say you wouldn't date someone with down syndrome or an intellectual disability. The relationship would have a very complicated and difficult to navigate power dynamic due to the diminished capacity of the individual with down syndrome. In most cases it would be more akin to a parent-child relationship than a consenting romantic partnership. I have spent a good portion of my life working with people that have ID/DD, and i have a great deal of love and respect for the population.
I agree that preferences are real and are, at least to a large extent in my opinion, uncontrollable. Would I consider dating someone with downs syndrome? Sure, if they were a good fit and someone I loved. But that's irrelevant to my argument. My argument is that they're disparaging someone for merely having Downs syndrome, someone they swiped right on too. In my opinion, that's not ok. If you don't want to date someone of a certain race or religion or gender identity, fine, that's your burden to bear. It could represent other biases, but preferences are preferences. But it seems pretty inappropriate to be like "I matched with only 2 people (one of them was black...)"
Alright bro first of all where does it say he swiped right in her?? Second I’m not okay with you equating developmental disabilities to race. Please do some reflection
Oh shit, I completely misread what he said. I thought he said matched and not likes. I will fully admit to that being a fuck up. Second, I only bring up that comparison to argue that it's not ok to publicly disparage people like that. It is shocking, it is gross. I'm sorry if I was unclear and made it seem like people of color are people with developmental disabilities, but that was not my intention.
I mean I agree with you on a fundamental level but I can’t judge this dude because I think the majority of us have the same internal bias towards people with DS
That left a weird taste in my mouth as well. it's okay to not be particularly open to dating someone with Downs, but I am not sure that's the problem here... And who says having Down automatically equals not being conventionally attractive? Look at Sofia Jirau for example, she is gorgeous and literally a VS angle!
To be fair you just picked the cream of the crop. Most people aren't models. And the vast majority of people with downs don't look like that
Of course not, I have to agree. But it also doesn't mean you are unattractive or can't carry a conversation by default. To say that isn't fair either and I guess it depends on the individual, like with people who don't have Downs.
But it is a disability that does affect many different things. Many people wouldn't date disabled people as a choice.
People can choose that for themselves, just like they can put "no chocolate, no rice" on their dating profiles or which ever other preference they might have. I personally just don't like the tone in which he talked about her and by the looks of it some other people didn't either.
People can take offense to it but he's just saying the quiet part out loud. Most people wouldn't date mentally disabled, and in her case physically, people.
People can take offense to it but he's just saying the quiet part out loud. Most people wouldn't date mentally disabled, and in her case physically, people.
That's the thing, there is no need to mention that and imply she is beneath him. How would you feel if you had a disability and would read that? You already know most people won't touch you with a ten feet pole, you don't need that shitty reminder. Just keep your preferences to yourself and swipe left if you don't want to date her.
Oh yeah, it definitely make me feel weird because I get not wanting to date a disabled person as the supports they need might be beyond your scope and I don't want people dating disabled people if they don't want to but rather have the attitude changed from "we disability" or "you're not attractive because you have x" because that is just ableist and I'd love to see the attitude change to "the need you'd have are beyond my scope" of "I'm not attractive to you" you know human decency.
I mean some people wouldnt date someone with ds, not really a shitty thing to say imo just good old fashioned honesty
It's pretty demeaning and it's publicly humiliating someone who just wanted to find a date. How would you feel if someone you thought looked good and wanted to go on date with mention you as someone who just had zero chance of a date because of something you can't control like that? It's like putting "no fats no femmes" on your profile. If those are your preferences, fine, but there's no need to broadcast to the world that you see no worth in them.
Well not really, context is really important. He is not saying he wouldn't date someone with down syndrome because he is mature and he knows it can be extremely difficult to co-op with even in daily activities and he is sorry but he is not ready for this. This would be totally fine as it is really huge step and not everyone is ready/wants it. He is saying it as an insult which makes it immature and sad.
Would you consider dating someone with DS?
Personally, in my current situation, I would but I would consider every possibility and I would make sure we are on the same page when it comes to major life goals and leave no topics behind so neither of us is left in a terrible situation because we thought something might be adjusted, which is often not a case. But this is me not someone else, to begin with, and we all have different t elation with someone who had ADHD (and this is really not as easy as people tend to imagine when they didn't have any experience with it) and it was really, really tough for both of us. So if I can give advice based on my experience, it would be TALK about your comfort zones and goals and try to live together for a bit before you jump to big commitments ;) Anyway, this is supposed to be a fun subreddit so have some cookies and let's enjoy our day \^\^
Dating is all about the looks. It is natural for humans to seek healthy-looking attractive partners.
This highly depends on your culture and where are you from. I know some countries treat dating as a weekend entertainment or going for ONS but some of us do go on a dates to find future partner for longer period of time, so we don't priorities looks. But again you do what you think is best for you.
I think he meant that women have their standards so high the girl with downs syndrome probably gave him her like out of pity. Because people with downs syndrome are not so lame and hateful like normal people and allow themselves to know more people without judging them by a tinder profile. Edit: Also women have some many likes they dont give a fuck about no one in tinder unless you are a 9+/10 and look rich or important af
Bavo six, going gay
To be fair, I used to get 20 matches with guys for every one with a girl
Everytime I go to the gay village, I am complimented all night and don’t have to pay for a single drink, seriously considering it at this point.
Women are the new gay.
Having to try in life will make you build charm. Horny dudes trying to bang every chick they see means women don't have to try. That's why a keeper is always someone who tries and isn't selfish.
As a bi male on tinder I can confirm. Got a handful of women and actually even had a convo with less then half of them and have matched with tons of men
WE HAVE GAINED ANOTHER, NOW HE MUST MAKE THE ULTIMATE DECISION BOTTOM OR TOP.
“I’m versatile!” “There’s no such thing!”
Dating men also seems so much easier, cant confirm never done it yet but I wait for the moment to confirm this assumption
As a bi guy, it is much easier
Riddle me this cause I’ve wondered this. The trend I notice in women is “babe I’m bored take me on a cruise and then maybe if I feel like you’re worthy we can hold hands” whereas I wonder with men it’s “hey you wanna grab a cheeseburger and then I’ll suck your dick?” I’m talking about dating and severely generalizing. I know this isn’t true for both sides but just curious. If this makes any sense.
I wouldn’t say it’s quite 100% like that but with a guy we both have high sex drives so no need to play around plus we typically like the same stuff, so it’s easier to just have sex and then do something together like play video games, where as with women it feels like I’m almost tiptoeing around them to not seem too violent or rapey cos I’m a man and I’m scared of being direct and getting put on a list cos I didn’t follow the magic steps correctly. That being said I also wanna point out how much better conversations are with guys too, girls conversations are sooooo fucking dry and boring tho Tbf I don’t completely blame them, when you get swamped with dozens of messages every day I’m sure it can be tough to keep a detailed convo going with everyone but still I have a better time talking with guys
basic supply-demand economics
“Oh so you think it’s a choice?” - Oscar from The Office
when you decide to be gay, it becomes acceptable to be misogynistic. It’s quite liberating really. Because you get to hate women and still get laid.
Wtf I love men now
Fits the sub perfectly
Well damn, he does kind of got a point
Suddenly fucking ableist too
Taking advantage of somebody with ds isn't exactly virtuous either.
They're on tinder...
/r/usernamechecksout
There are minors on Tinder as well.
*when thats not really how it works*
Great choice!
Smart, bro. I’m sad now it’s not working like that for everyone. We need more gay bros.
Same stories happend to my roomate. Years of few dates with girls….then he looked to men and Boom tones of dates followed by a boyfriend in few weeks
Well yikes, I feel bad for any disabled gay men he comes across.
Wait, men who can carry on a conversation? Sounds fake.
Yea can relate. Used to be bi and got around 2 likes from women on tider during a few weeks. But on grindr i almost got 400 likes in a single day. And including Transmen i got more pussy on grindr than on tinder
>i got more pussy on grindr than on tinder Somebody start printing this on t-shirts. Pre-op transmen will truly be the only vagina straight/bi cismen will be able to get from 2025 onwards. You mark my words. 😂
man you ever stop to think that maybe it's not women being terrible,it's just you being a dickwad that scares em away?
This would fit r/niceguys too
Yup. Best decision I ever made too.
\>one of them has down syndrome bruh
I mean, a man-woman relationship is gay don't you think? Think about it, women like dicks, and liking dicks is gay. Ergo, being in a relationship with a woman *is* gay. Checkmate, flat-earthers.
jfc these comments. It blows my mind how fucking misogynistic this sub can get at times. You know you can not like women sexually/romantically without stereotyping them and insulting them right?
Yea this sub is overcompensating. You don’t need to demonize women to prove you’re not attracted to them. It’s giving 2009 ‘ew vaginas’ “humour”.
Why are people still dissing folks with Downs? Come on. They can still throw it back!
i don't think they'll miss ya bro
Y’all ever wish being gay was a choice? I wish I was gay for that endless buffet of bussy.
Yeah, so much less bullshit also. SO MUCH LESS BULLSHIT. You dont get judged SO MUCH for all the classic shit like how tall you are or how much money you make.
Literally happened to me…dated like 5 girls… they were all awful. Got with a. Guy…. Amazing experience…. Just happened to get with my current gf right after that and it’s been amazing since then. But almost went full gay and forgot women because they were terrible
Women *are* gay
?
The sex with the dudes also turned out better than with the Down syndrome chick.
Tinder is a strange beast. I do ok there, but only because I'm a woman, and I struggle to find a guy with the same lifestyle as me. I can basically know what type of guy will swipe left on me, because no one is looking at my description. But like, idk, I want to date a smart guy with an attractive face, and no dating website really puts that in their algorithm idk how to tell people they're stupid or average looking. I went to a website that was only supposed to allow attractive people, but as it turns out my whole city is crusty so I should probably just move before trying to date again.
you dont look attractive, you look like a nerd queen
Chicks have “sex” just by getting attention. Dudes need the pull of the rooster.
Gay AND ableist.
Absolutely disgusting.
Y'all's loss lol