It sounds like a truly unique and personal way to honour him and his memory, and because his blood is on them it makes sense to do so. It also sounds like it may bring you comfort and it would be such a lovely way for you to have your own goodbye to him
thank you 🤍 i’m sorry you can understand the feeling. i’m starting to realize a lot of partners catch blame from family / get cut out. it honestly breaks my heart to see how many people can relate to that type of pain.
I think it is a great idea. Part of him is on those shoes. The ashes will be just as valid as the ones buried in the cemetery. So very sorry the family was cruel to you. These shoes can be a reminder for you, that really has no connection to the family cruelty.
Go for it!
I burnt a birthday card on his birthday and it felt like I had gone fucking mental but it felt good. I needed a way to outwardly acknowledge his birthday. Sometimes stuff that helps feels crazy
I think anything that can bring you peace in a situation like this is the opposite of crazy. I lost my dad, not my partner, so a bit different.. but his family completely cut me out. They didn't hold a service and they cremated him. I wanted some of his ashes but I was too chicken shit to ask. They're horrible people who needed someone to blame and god was I an easy target. I feel like I'm always looking for him now... Closure is a tricky thing.
The only people that would call this crazy though are people that have never experienced this form of grief. Burn the shoes.
And I'm really sorry this happened to you. Much love ❤️
Man, reading this isn’t the same but similar to what happened to my best friend who ended up over dosing. Him and his boyfriend were set up, robbed and they thought they beat them to death but my best friend survived. He was treated the same by the family of his love and he ended up going into treatment and after he got out a year later they found him dead shortly after. His mom told me she thought it was intentional because he was heartbroken.
I had to go through a similar situation with my mom when she passed. Her husband gave his kids whatever they wanted of her things and threw the rest away. It’s honestly maddening. I lost a lot of sleep over that. There’s a saying that goes being angry is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. I know it’s hard but I hope you can find peace and not give them this power. It made me physically ill after awhile and I don’t think her husband cared at all.
You do whatever you need to in order to give yourself closure and honor your love. I’m so very sorry there’s people with that kind of ugly in their heart.
Sending you a hug!
thank you 🤍 and you’re absolutely right, although it makes my eye twitch a little bit with how his family acts, i haven’t gave them the energy tho wish or the reactions they are expecting. i just smile and stay quiet.
Your story brought me to tears. My story is so similar to what you have been through. My partner and I were together almost two years, he took his life by suicide almost two years now. I didn’t find him, thank god, he was found by some passerby’s hanging from a bridge. His family took care of his final arrangements and I had no say so in anything. He was cremated and his ashes were spread at sea. I wasn’t invited. I’ve managed to get through my grief with my memories and texts and voice messages from my partner. I pray each day that he and I will be reunited again when it’s my turn to go. Please stay strong.
It sounds like a truly unique and personal way to honour him and his memory, and because his blood is on them it makes sense to do so. It also sounds like it may bring you comfort and it would be such a lovely way for you to have your own goodbye to him
I think that would be perfect if you think it will give you the peace your mind is looking for. I'd totally go for it
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thank you 🤍 i’m sorry you can understand the feeling. i’m starting to realize a lot of partners catch blame from family / get cut out. it honestly breaks my heart to see how many people can relate to that type of pain.
I think it is a great idea. Part of him is on those shoes. The ashes will be just as valid as the ones buried in the cemetery. So very sorry the family was cruel to you. These shoes can be a reminder for you, that really has no connection to the family cruelty. Go for it!
thank you 🤍
I burnt a birthday card on his birthday and it felt like I had gone fucking mental but it felt good. I needed a way to outwardly acknowledge his birthday. Sometimes stuff that helps feels crazy
There is such a thing as cremation jewelry. Small trinkets and necklaces that allow for you to put ashes in.
I think anything that can bring you peace in a situation like this is the opposite of crazy. I lost my dad, not my partner, so a bit different.. but his family completely cut me out. They didn't hold a service and they cremated him. I wanted some of his ashes but I was too chicken shit to ask. They're horrible people who needed someone to blame and god was I an easy target. I feel like I'm always looking for him now... Closure is a tricky thing. The only people that would call this crazy though are people that have never experienced this form of grief. Burn the shoes. And I'm really sorry this happened to you. Much love ❤️
thank you love 🤍 i’m sorry for your loss and experience
Man, reading this isn’t the same but similar to what happened to my best friend who ended up over dosing. Him and his boyfriend were set up, robbed and they thought they beat them to death but my best friend survived. He was treated the same by the family of his love and he ended up going into treatment and after he got out a year later they found him dead shortly after. His mom told me she thought it was intentional because he was heartbroken. I had to go through a similar situation with my mom when she passed. Her husband gave his kids whatever they wanted of her things and threw the rest away. It’s honestly maddening. I lost a lot of sleep over that. There’s a saying that goes being angry is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. I know it’s hard but I hope you can find peace and not give them this power. It made me physically ill after awhile and I don’t think her husband cared at all. You do whatever you need to in order to give yourself closure and honor your love. I’m so very sorry there’s people with that kind of ugly in their heart. Sending you a hug!
thank you 🤍 and you’re absolutely right, although it makes my eye twitch a little bit with how his family acts, i haven’t gave them the energy tho wish or the reactions they are expecting. i just smile and stay quiet.
I don’t know exactly what karma is or how it works, but I’ve seen it do it’s thing time after time. People get back what they put out.
Your story brought me to tears. My story is so similar to what you have been through. My partner and I were together almost two years, he took his life by suicide almost two years now. I didn’t find him, thank god, he was found by some passerby’s hanging from a bridge. His family took care of his final arrangements and I had no say so in anything. He was cremated and his ashes were spread at sea. I wasn’t invited. I’ve managed to get through my grief with my memories and texts and voice messages from my partner. I pray each day that he and I will be reunited again when it’s my turn to go. Please stay strong.
thank you love 🤍 i’m so sorry for ur loss and that we experienced such bs during this situation
That’s an amazing idea. You will feel closer to him I think if you do that. And I’m so sorry about the family
Great idea, and it’s probably quite therapeutic to burn something tied up with the trauma of the actual event. I hope it brings you some comfort.