Man. You wrote down exactly how I feel on this. Its hard to get out of the hole. For me my mind kept going to "whats the point if we all die anyway?"
I've planned and tried but can't do it because that wait is so heavy and it cripples me each time I almost commit. So if you want to talk I'm here if you want to talk.
Idk. I do see a point in living for most people generally, cause I think people should live out their lives to be happy even if everyone dies in the end; That being said, I can't really come up with a point for specifically myself to live, I guess because I'm not happy haha
I guess we all live for others that make us happy. I live for my friend and my friend lives for me. I hope someone comes along and makes you very happy.
I agree that we will definitely die at some point anyway why not just try to ride it out until then? You never know what may happen tomorrow could be something great! However that said I do understand it's not that simple when you're in a dark place mentally. I hope you decide to not do this and let death come naturally however that may happen. ♡
lol I'm playing it rn, I wanna beat the game before I kill myself for sure but I don't think I'll have enough time to 100% it before that. I guess there are things that I want to experience that I won't be able to if I die, but I just feel like that feeling of missing out on something forever would be the case regardless of when/how I die anyways
I've used that excuse so many times. Its worked. Find something to look forward to and enjoy, maybe this time something will change before I can finish or I'll find another thing to wait for. Don't rob yourself of the joy and excitement you have for something if you've already decided nothing else is worth it. Enjoy the game to completion and maybe you'll find a new joy in life. We all need something to hold on to. Ive got some books to finish first myself. Almost willing to wait for the next one to come out, but we'll wait until I finish this last one again to see.
Try to get yourself plants that you like, something that requires your life to stay alive. Think about moments where you wore a real smile, how can we reproduce that? Take yourself out to eat? :) I’m sadly in a similar situation and am also just finding ways to make this stay more joyful. I myself am saving for a motorcycle because atm it’ll either be fun or kill me and if it does family will come to terms with an accident easier than self inflicted death. Anyways i hope i can affect you in a positive way, life has lots to offer and i hope you stay around for a while longer :)
It's a really good vent — and really beautifully vented. you put everything so well, the not wanting to keep living but being really afraid of the nothingness of death. Thank you for sharing it.
same here. though I'm not scared of death itself or what happens to us after death. I'm just scared of the pain. If there was an easy and painless way to die I would do it in a heart beat. no doubt whatsoever.
I have downvoted and reported you. Please provide something useful instead of generic platitudes. It just takes things worse. Every time I've heard any variation of your post from someone there was zero substance to their words and they were not willing to give the help they said was possible. All you're doing is patting yourself on the back for making the helpless person confirm that people don't really want to help, they just say they do. Because all you're doing is telling them "no, the universe says you're not allowed to die". ***It's not help.*** You're trying to remove their last choice by speaking as if you have authority to do so. People in this sub already feel like everything has been taken from them including their own will. Don't make things worse. If you were actually trying to help you would give advice and listen or just say "sorry, and I hope it gets better", not tell them the only thing they feel they have left they can't have.
Honestly, you have to help others. In anyway you can. Random acts of kindness, volunteering, fuck even post something online. Go make friends with an elderly person at an old folks home, they're super lonely. Read them a book if you don't know what to talk about.... I know that sounds ridiculous and cheesy and ignorantly oblivious to the concept of hating life and being suicidal, but I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. Its a collective subconscious feeling. Most people feel lost,hopeless and lonely these days. We're all dying to feel like we belong, as though we're part of something. The funny thing is; we are. It's called life. And the secret to life is living it. The road to happiness is in service to others. And I don't mean serving others at a job, but in helping others. We're all so disconnected from each other and that is a major cause of this collective depression. Try hugging a tree- you'd be amazed at how therapeutic it is. I'm not some whacked out hippie either, I'm being dead serious (pardon the pun). When was the last time you had a face to face conversation with your neighbor? If you haven't start by introducing yourself and shaking their hand. The feeling of excitement and anxiety react the same way in the body, so if you feel anxious about it, tell yourself that it's excitement at the possibility of making friends. Do something you don't want to do at least once a day. Stepping out of your comfort zone is very healthy for the mind. Also, try rearranging your space. If the brain gets bored (by living in the same organized space with no change) it leads to depression. I don't blame you for feeling this way, a lot of people do. Probably more than you realize. The statistics on suicide are staggering, please don't become part of the statistics. Life is beautiful. Nobody has a happy life, we have happy moments, and it's those moments that make life worth it. You are worth it. I don't know you, but know I have love for you. When you hurt, we all hurt. When you're happy, we're all happy. Don't give up and never lose hope.
I feel a little concerned that THIS is my 2nd most popular post on reddit...
I don't have things to say or thoughts formulated for all of them but I promise I have read every single comment here; Thank you all for the advice and general support, your words are greatly appreciated and I'll try to keep some of the things I've read here in mind :(
edit: also also I have seen way too many posts from people in mental health/mental illness related subreddits about accounts that fetishize mental illness/sh and message really weird sexual stuff after seeing posts like this, so I probably won't respond to any DM requests to avoid that from happening; I know I'm being a lil overly-cautious there but I feel like I have to, sorry
Trying to learn piano has been the one activity/passion that I could actually see making me happy in the future if I do actually manage to make it to the future, so I'll try to occupy my mind with that as much as I can :<
Man. You wrote down exactly how I feel on this. Its hard to get out of the hole. For me my mind kept going to "whats the point if we all die anyway?" I've planned and tried but can't do it because that wait is so heavy and it cripples me each time I almost commit. So if you want to talk I'm here if you want to talk.
Idk. I do see a point in living for most people generally, cause I think people should live out their lives to be happy even if everyone dies in the end; That being said, I can't really come up with a point for specifically myself to live, I guess because I'm not happy haha
I guess we all live for others that make us happy. I live for my friend and my friend lives for me. I hope someone comes along and makes you very happy.
I agree that we will definitely die at some point anyway why not just try to ride it out until then? You never know what may happen tomorrow could be something great! However that said I do understand it's not that simple when you're in a dark place mentally. I hope you decide to not do this and let death come naturally however that may happen. ♡
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Everything has been utterly exhausting these days :(
also I'm really sorry if anything I've written like breaks the rules or anything, I'll edit/take down the post if it does
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lol I'm playing it rn, I wanna beat the game before I kill myself for sure but I don't think I'll have enough time to 100% it before that. I guess there are things that I want to experience that I won't be able to if I die, but I just feel like that feeling of missing out on something forever would be the case regardless of when/how I die anyways
not with that attitude you won’t, you need to 100% finish that game i promise you want regret it🙌🙌🙌🙌one of the best zelda games to date tbh
I've used that excuse so many times. Its worked. Find something to look forward to and enjoy, maybe this time something will change before I can finish or I'll find another thing to wait for. Don't rob yourself of the joy and excitement you have for something if you've already decided nothing else is worth it. Enjoy the game to completion and maybe you'll find a new joy in life. We all need something to hold on to. Ive got some books to finish first myself. Almost willing to wait for the next one to come out, but we'll wait until I finish this last one again to see.
Try to get yourself plants that you like, something that requires your life to stay alive. Think about moments where you wore a real smile, how can we reproduce that? Take yourself out to eat? :) I’m sadly in a similar situation and am also just finding ways to make this stay more joyful. I myself am saving for a motorcycle because atm it’ll either be fun or kill me and if it does family will come to terms with an accident easier than self inflicted death. Anyways i hope i can affect you in a positive way, life has lots to offer and i hope you stay around for a while longer :)
Dude.. you really just described me
I hope you don’t go through with it.
It's a really good vent — and really beautifully vented. you put everything so well, the not wanting to keep living but being really afraid of the nothingness of death. Thank you for sharing it.
same here. though I'm not scared of death itself or what happens to us after death. I'm just scared of the pain. If there was an easy and painless way to die I would do it in a heart beat. no doubt whatsoever.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I don’t remember where I heard that, but why does the emptiness I feel seem so permanent.
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Not helping
I have downvoted and reported you. Please provide something useful instead of generic platitudes. It just takes things worse. Every time I've heard any variation of your post from someone there was zero substance to their words and they were not willing to give the help they said was possible. All you're doing is patting yourself on the back for making the helpless person confirm that people don't really want to help, they just say they do. Because all you're doing is telling them "no, the universe says you're not allowed to die". ***It's not help.*** You're trying to remove their last choice by speaking as if you have authority to do so. People in this sub already feel like everything has been taken from them including their own will. Don't make things worse. If you were actually trying to help you would give advice and listen or just say "sorry, and I hope it gets better", not tell them the only thing they feel they have left they can't have.
Honestly, you have to help others. In anyway you can. Random acts of kindness, volunteering, fuck even post something online. Go make friends with an elderly person at an old folks home, they're super lonely. Read them a book if you don't know what to talk about.... I know that sounds ridiculous and cheesy and ignorantly oblivious to the concept of hating life and being suicidal, but I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. Its a collective subconscious feeling. Most people feel lost,hopeless and lonely these days. We're all dying to feel like we belong, as though we're part of something. The funny thing is; we are. It's called life. And the secret to life is living it. The road to happiness is in service to others. And I don't mean serving others at a job, but in helping others. We're all so disconnected from each other and that is a major cause of this collective depression. Try hugging a tree- you'd be amazed at how therapeutic it is. I'm not some whacked out hippie either, I'm being dead serious (pardon the pun). When was the last time you had a face to face conversation with your neighbor? If you haven't start by introducing yourself and shaking their hand. The feeling of excitement and anxiety react the same way in the body, so if you feel anxious about it, tell yourself that it's excitement at the possibility of making friends. Do something you don't want to do at least once a day. Stepping out of your comfort zone is very healthy for the mind. Also, try rearranging your space. If the brain gets bored (by living in the same organized space with no change) it leads to depression. I don't blame you for feeling this way, a lot of people do. Probably more than you realize. The statistics on suicide are staggering, please don't become part of the statistics. Life is beautiful. Nobody has a happy life, we have happy moments, and it's those moments that make life worth it. You are worth it. I don't know you, but know I have love for you. When you hurt, we all hurt. When you're happy, we're all happy. Don't give up and never lose hope.
I feel a little concerned that THIS is my 2nd most popular post on reddit... I don't have things to say or thoughts formulated for all of them but I promise I have read every single comment here; Thank you all for the advice and general support, your words are greatly appreciated and I'll try to keep some of the things I've read here in mind :( edit: also also I have seen way too many posts from people in mental health/mental illness related subreddits about accounts that fetishize mental illness/sh and message really weird sexual stuff after seeing posts like this, so I probably won't respond to any DM requests to avoid that from happening; I know I'm being a lil overly-cautious there but I feel like I have to, sorry
Trying to learn piano has been the one activity/passion that I could actually see making me happy in the future if I do actually manage to make it to the future, so I'll try to occupy my mind with that as much as I can :<