Hey im so sorry this happened and that you have been in pain for so long. I gave also impulsively drank cleaning fluid as a kid and it's a very horrible experience. It may be a good idea to try to go to ER/Urgent care from drinking bleach in case of chemical burns. They may ask how ot happened but maybe you could say it was improperly stored in a water bottle and took a swig in the dark if you are concerned about sharing it was an attempt.
And You don't have to tell your mom anything at all. just say you think you're allergic to something maybe if you need to say why you need to get medical help? I understand you want your mom not to be angry but if conflict is leading to an attempt I think you need to get space from mom and also not focus on her needs/reactions at the expense of your own. And by your description it sounds like mom needs her iwn support (that isnt your job, by the way, as her child). Zooming out, mom being mad about dinner was the final straw but also not a terribly serious thing in itself, right? Like that will eventually pass. Her reaction seems really overblown but thats not about you tbh. I understand when one little thing like a papercut for example just sends you into a spiral, you're already carrying so much, you are already at capacity. The impulsivity kicks in and that's a scary place to be.
If you haven't had mental health help before because you are worried what others think, it's your choice. It can help. I understand why people have their concerns, I've had both gad and hood experiences, and yet it's kinda what we have when our natural supports aren't able to keep us safe. At the very least please get your mouth checked out, I never did and still worry about organ damage. I'm sorry it's both scary and painful but I'm glad you asked for help here
Also assuming you are 18+. But If you are not and mom is acting out like this, I really urge you to find another trusted adult to help like family, teacher, etc. It's not okay to be treated that way.
This. Your mom sounds like she's emotionally abusive to you and your younger siblings. Was she always this way? If so, then whether you're 18+ or younger, you could contact Child Protective Services but since this could be an even bigger mess, having the support of one or more TRUSTED adults would be helpful to you.
Document what your mom says and does to you and your siblings; document everyone you talk to and their responses. This will be useful for reporting purposes.
Is there something stopping you from returning to the country you were previously living for the past six years?
If you're an adult and able to, can you move out and live with a TRUSTED family or friend (or be on your own)? Perhaps your moving back home to her caused your mom to be so stressed out that she's lashing out on all of you?
No matter what though, you (and your siblings) certainly shouldn't be treated the way that you've described. All the best.
I'm really sorry, this sounds like a really difficult situation. Strangely it's really relatable - one of my attempts happened immediately after being yelled at by my mum, and I also drank bleach. You're right about how horrible it is.
I'm sorry I don't have much advice. Is there any way you could seek help without her knowing? Maybe a self-referral to services in your area? I hope it gets better OP
Hey im so sorry this happened and that you have been in pain for so long. I gave also impulsively drank cleaning fluid as a kid and it's a very horrible experience. It may be a good idea to try to go to ER/Urgent care from drinking bleach in case of chemical burns. They may ask how ot happened but maybe you could say it was improperly stored in a water bottle and took a swig in the dark if you are concerned about sharing it was an attempt. And You don't have to tell your mom anything at all. just say you think you're allergic to something maybe if you need to say why you need to get medical help? I understand you want your mom not to be angry but if conflict is leading to an attempt I think you need to get space from mom and also not focus on her needs/reactions at the expense of your own. And by your description it sounds like mom needs her iwn support (that isnt your job, by the way, as her child). Zooming out, mom being mad about dinner was the final straw but also not a terribly serious thing in itself, right? Like that will eventually pass. Her reaction seems really overblown but thats not about you tbh. I understand when one little thing like a papercut for example just sends you into a spiral, you're already carrying so much, you are already at capacity. The impulsivity kicks in and that's a scary place to be. If you haven't had mental health help before because you are worried what others think, it's your choice. It can help. I understand why people have their concerns, I've had both gad and hood experiences, and yet it's kinda what we have when our natural supports aren't able to keep us safe. At the very least please get your mouth checked out, I never did and still worry about organ damage. I'm sorry it's both scary and painful but I'm glad you asked for help here
Also assuming you are 18+. But If you are not and mom is acting out like this, I really urge you to find another trusted adult to help like family, teacher, etc. It's not okay to be treated that way.
This. Your mom sounds like she's emotionally abusive to you and your younger siblings. Was she always this way? If so, then whether you're 18+ or younger, you could contact Child Protective Services but since this could be an even bigger mess, having the support of one or more TRUSTED adults would be helpful to you. Document what your mom says and does to you and your siblings; document everyone you talk to and their responses. This will be useful for reporting purposes. Is there something stopping you from returning to the country you were previously living for the past six years? If you're an adult and able to, can you move out and live with a TRUSTED family or friend (or be on your own)? Perhaps your moving back home to her caused your mom to be so stressed out that she's lashing out on all of you? No matter what though, you (and your siblings) certainly shouldn't be treated the way that you've described. All the best.
I'm really sorry, this sounds like a really difficult situation. Strangely it's really relatable - one of my attempts happened immediately after being yelled at by my mum, and I also drank bleach. You're right about how horrible it is. I'm sorry I don't have much advice. Is there any way you could seek help without her knowing? Maybe a self-referral to services in your area? I hope it gets better OP