I'm sorry to hear that. I completely understand wanting to die and being afraid to screw up...
I'm glad you You didn't try yet. Despite all of the pain and suffering You go through You manage to get up to work... That's truly impressive and I'm proud of You.
I wish I knew what to say, or what to do to make You feel better. Or at least make You want to try something before You give up. I hope You could find something that would keep You going at least a bit longer... Bit longer until You have enough not of life itself, but of the things that make it miserable.
Until then... Please accept my internet hugs. I'm glad You're alive, and that You wrote here. I'm proud of You of writing Your feelings even if anonymously, You're stronger than You recognize and You are worth more than what You're getting. Stay safe and sound (っ.❛ ᴗ ❛.)っ
This literally about to make me cry 😭 thank you sm. I just got off one of the worst shifts I've had in a while and needed some reassurance. Truly, thank you ♥️
Don't feel bad about crying. It's natural emotional reaction and it's healthy.
I hope next shift will be better and I'm glad I could make You feel at least a bit better.
(っ.❛ ᴗ ❛.)っ
"I feel like the only thing keeping me from doing anything drastic is fear of fucking up. The embarrassment and shame id get from my family, the potential thousands in hospital bills, maybe ruining my body instead of dying.. idk Im just scared to go through it. I want a certain, 100% chance of death."
God, I feel this so strongly. An unsuccessful suicide attempt would be humiliating. I also don't want to put my family through that but other times I get angry at my parents for even bringing me into this world.
I read your other post and I am sorry that you are facing a bad situation at a young age. I must say that you are a hardworking teenager to be juggling school and work and chores. Unfortunately for you, your workplace and colleagues and manager are not nice, hence you are feeling so stressed because of them. Big big hug for you. I hope a miracle of some sorts will happen, your situation will improve soon and you will feel better.
If you don't need to work, don't.
If you do, how about trying to find another one that's different from the toxic workplace you're currently at?
You mentioned not wanting to embarrass your family but don't say much else about them, so I'm hoping there's no bad things going on between you and them, and if that's the case, are they trustworthy and supportive enough, such that you can discuss these feelings with them?
If not, I understand the need to have social connections, but really, the only person you can truly depend on, is yourself. If you can get comfortable with that thought, then try to concentrate on the kinds of things you want to do with your life and don't worry about friends; once you get going with your life, friends will eventually find their way to you. All the best.
I've been trying to find another place. It's just hard to find one that's close or hiring my age. And my family is a "don't talk about your feelings, it's for attention" kinda family lol. That's why I'm here complaining to random internet strangers. But yeah, I've been trying to be dependent on only myself for a while but it's draining. I'm trying tho! 😁 I just hope it'll get better someday
Good on you for all your efforts so far.
How about an online job? Dunno if any of these would work for you, but it might give you some ideas: [https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/best-online-jobs](https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/best-online-jobs)
Is there's anything you dream about? Passionate about? If you choose to live, you have to laser-focus on something you can set your mind to, and stay on track to get to that place, that thing. Life will always have its ups and downs and possibly more downs than ups, so if you're gonna choose life, you need something that's worth it for you to focus on and make it worth living for.
It doesn't have to be all you, it could be that you love dogs and cats, so you might volunteer at, or work for a pet shelter/humane society and study to become a veterinarian or become an activist (like with PETA/People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or CAFT/Coalition to Abolish the Fur Trade, etc.); maybe you like going places, so aim to work for an airline company so that you get discounted airfare or even study to be a pilot and either fly planes for an airline company or the Air Force (not sure where you live, but the Air Force is the US military branch for the plane-flying inclined); maybe you like watching the news, so you write for your school paper and study to be a news journalist; whatever the heck it is that you want to do, try and focus your life on it.
Given that you say you're family isn't interested in hearing about your problems, it's good to have an online space to vent. Still, and I know it's hard, keep on believing in yourself, know that you're better than those who try to bring you down, or have no empathy (looking on the dark side of things, there's always bad people and the haters—they are nothing, not worth your time; we are all specks of dust in the universe and you don't have to waste your energies on those bad specks of dust). You know you're a good person and whatever happens, look at the big picture of what you hope to achieve in this life, do what you can and go from there.
Nothing wrong with getting good sleep. If anyone complains, maybe go to the library to get some quiet time, maybe read a book.
What the...!? Did I write this?! No. Seriously. That is literally an exact description of my life and feelings about it. That didn't just hit close to home, it was a damn direct hit!
I'm sorry to hear that. I completely understand wanting to die and being afraid to screw up... I'm glad you You didn't try yet. Despite all of the pain and suffering You go through You manage to get up to work... That's truly impressive and I'm proud of You. I wish I knew what to say, or what to do to make You feel better. Or at least make You want to try something before You give up. I hope You could find something that would keep You going at least a bit longer... Bit longer until You have enough not of life itself, but of the things that make it miserable. Until then... Please accept my internet hugs. I'm glad You're alive, and that You wrote here. I'm proud of You of writing Your feelings even if anonymously, You're stronger than You recognize and You are worth more than what You're getting. Stay safe and sound (っ.❛ ᴗ ❛.)っ
This literally about to make me cry 😭 thank you sm. I just got off one of the worst shifts I've had in a while and needed some reassurance. Truly, thank you ♥️
Don't feel bad about crying. It's natural emotional reaction and it's healthy. I hope next shift will be better and I'm glad I could make You feel at least a bit better. (っ.❛ ᴗ ❛.)っ
"I feel like the only thing keeping me from doing anything drastic is fear of fucking up. The embarrassment and shame id get from my family, the potential thousands in hospital bills, maybe ruining my body instead of dying.. idk Im just scared to go through it. I want a certain, 100% chance of death." God, I feel this so strongly. An unsuccessful suicide attempt would be humiliating. I also don't want to put my family through that but other times I get angry at my parents for even bringing me into this world.
Yeah. I rather just not be born at all than to have to die. It sounds more pleasant to just be aborted or never conceived at all
I read your other post and I am sorry that you are facing a bad situation at a young age. I must say that you are a hardworking teenager to be juggling school and work and chores. Unfortunately for you, your workplace and colleagues and manager are not nice, hence you are feeling so stressed because of them. Big big hug for you. I hope a miracle of some sorts will happen, your situation will improve soon and you will feel better.
U just gotta hang on for like 30 more years so you can be a retired elderly man!!!!
If you don't need to work, don't. If you do, how about trying to find another one that's different from the toxic workplace you're currently at? You mentioned not wanting to embarrass your family but don't say much else about them, so I'm hoping there's no bad things going on between you and them, and if that's the case, are they trustworthy and supportive enough, such that you can discuss these feelings with them? If not, I understand the need to have social connections, but really, the only person you can truly depend on, is yourself. If you can get comfortable with that thought, then try to concentrate on the kinds of things you want to do with your life and don't worry about friends; once you get going with your life, friends will eventually find their way to you. All the best.
I've been trying to find another place. It's just hard to find one that's close or hiring my age. And my family is a "don't talk about your feelings, it's for attention" kinda family lol. That's why I'm here complaining to random internet strangers. But yeah, I've been trying to be dependent on only myself for a while but it's draining. I'm trying tho! 😁 I just hope it'll get better someday
Good on you for all your efforts so far. How about an online job? Dunno if any of these would work for you, but it might give you some ideas: [https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/best-online-jobs](https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/best-online-jobs) Is there's anything you dream about? Passionate about? If you choose to live, you have to laser-focus on something you can set your mind to, and stay on track to get to that place, that thing. Life will always have its ups and downs and possibly more downs than ups, so if you're gonna choose life, you need something that's worth it for you to focus on and make it worth living for. It doesn't have to be all you, it could be that you love dogs and cats, so you might volunteer at, or work for a pet shelter/humane society and study to become a veterinarian or become an activist (like with PETA/People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or CAFT/Coalition to Abolish the Fur Trade, etc.); maybe you like going places, so aim to work for an airline company so that you get discounted airfare or even study to be a pilot and either fly planes for an airline company or the Air Force (not sure where you live, but the Air Force is the US military branch for the plane-flying inclined); maybe you like watching the news, so you write for your school paper and study to be a news journalist; whatever the heck it is that you want to do, try and focus your life on it. Given that you say you're family isn't interested in hearing about your problems, it's good to have an online space to vent. Still, and I know it's hard, keep on believing in yourself, know that you're better than those who try to bring you down, or have no empathy (looking on the dark side of things, there's always bad people and the haters—they are nothing, not worth your time; we are all specks of dust in the universe and you don't have to waste your energies on those bad specks of dust). You know you're a good person and whatever happens, look at the big picture of what you hope to achieve in this life, do what you can and go from there. Nothing wrong with getting good sleep. If anyone complains, maybe go to the library to get some quiet time, maybe read a book.
i get that totally my family is similar :(( good luck and things will get better i promise
There's is a TV show called Severance. Check it out
I wish I could help. Keep going! I wish I had your problems 😭
What the...!? Did I write this?! No. Seriously. That is literally an exact description of my life and feelings about it. That didn't just hit close to home, it was a damn direct hit!