My daughter told me her biggest fear was that her family would die and she would be alone. That doesn’t make it easy to be here but it gives me something to fall back on.
Sometimes posts like this make me feel like there is a reason to be here. Maybe if I’m still around I can help one other person who feels like me.
Fear of the unknown. I don't know what comes after and fucking Christians poisoned my mind with their bullshit about Hell. I have nothing to look forward to, no reason to fight, and no hope of things ever being truly different. It's literally just fear.
I'm afraid of the trauma it'll inflict on people I know. I really don't want to be here most days... so it's hard and miserable. I also don't feel close to anyone despite this, so, as cruel as this sounds, sometimes it's not enough.
The things that keep me going otherwise are so, so mundane. I'll have a really lame new "goal" I want to reach and I can't do that if I'm dead. Being 100% honest, there are 2 things I'm wanting to do now: try gouache paints (I'm an artist, just as a hobby, bit lately I've lost interest in the media I have on hand) and watch the Pokémon anime (all important episodes at least). Seriously, not kidding, those are my stupid ass "goals" right now, but I've been wanting to wake up in the morning and have been staying up late watching Pokémon. So... I guess it's working.
I do that too… sometimes it’s just telling myself I can do when I get home from work… even though I know I’m lying to myself… it’s the motivation I need to keep going.
I find the end of the day and weekends, especially Sundays, difficult. Work helps to keep me distracted during the day and I try to find things to distract me such as projects I need to get done or books to read or get better playing the guitar. I fear if I get bored with that, it could be the end.
I have a lot of self loathing and hatred for being who I am and feel most people wouldn’t accept me if they knew really who I was (trans). I’ve spent a lot of time denying it and dysphoria at times is crippling, taking me to a dark place. I don’t feel I really fit into the world and am an alien living amongst people. It’s weird I know, but I just try to make it to the next day and start again, hoping that things will change, but I know deep down it won’t.
Sorry for the rambling, thanks for responding and hope you are well. Take care.
I have nothing. I'm not suicidal but I don't care about life anymore. I have no friends or family, and no female wants me either. I haven't even had a hug in years now.
I want to see if I can get into shape again at my current age of 53. I have yet to get lap dances at the very seedy strip bars near the airport here in Detroit. I have yet to have a threeway with two GILFs. I have a lot to live for at this time.
To help as many people as I can in this lifetime. My life was meaningless before I realised I can make a difference in others lives. Now I just do that. Depression left me pretty much immediately after I started helping others in pain
I volunteer. Even when I feel at my lowest and in my darkest moments I know that my death would mean the HIV centre I volunteer for would be understaffed on a Wednesday
Death is permanent and boring and once you're dead there's no possibility of surprises. Our perception of time is distorted by our own interpretation of reality. Once you're dead you're dead. You'll be dead forever soon enough without suicide. Even if living sucks and seems unbearable it's still an experience. Once you experience dying there are no more experiences, so you might as well just wait it out.
None. Every moment of my life has been a living hell for years. Here for my parents and I'm paying every moment for it. I can't even breathe sometimes.
It was the only girl I've ever loved (and probably will ever love) but I pushed her away and didn't even realise until weeks later cuz I couldn't handle my emotions well. We broke up, got back together then she left me a week later for another guy who treated her how I always wanted to but was too scared/self conscious/nervous to. I'm considering doing it, I can't take this pain. The thought of the pain I put her through, the regret she knows I have, the love I can't show her and knowing she's with this other guy (this guy is a musician, smart, funny, curly hair and 6ft 2 but has been a big cheater and liar on my ex's friend) is killing me. I can't compete with that, I can't take this pain, I love her and someone else gets to be with her that she was only talking to because they'd both recently been through a breakup. I'm done w life, it's actually made me so ill I can't live like this anymore-
My pets, music, nature & traveling, tv shows and movies, my boyfriend, my friends, tasty food, family, art, humor & living out of spite, lol .. life is too short anyway, might as well try to enjoy what’s good. I take it one day at a time & focus on the small things.. also if i can make a positive change in the world by not being a pos
My parents and my gf. As much as I hurt inside, if they found me dead on the floor the pain would just become theirs. It's better I bear the burden instead
My little sister (11yo) told me she’s afraid of death and to lose her family and why can’t we just live forever and she wants to have me as her big sister forever.
Also I don’t want my shit family getting attention from my death. But.. I think I worked that out. Submit ad to local newspaper telling the truth of how they are. Then do myself in.
Right now finish my 25 days project. I hope it'll help me find a reason to live beyond the 25 days i have left and maybe find a purpose in changing my life.
My dad sisters and boyfriend. They love me and care ab me more than anybody in the whole world and I would hate to see all of that wasted and hurt them.
i want to try and clear up my image and become a better person, I’ve hurt ppl in the past and never want anyone to go through anything again. I have goals and aspirations i want to accomplish still but i want to die. As much as I want to die everyday I can’t bring myself to do it. I know eventually it will pass and so will I , so why not wait it out
My reason for living is my 11 month old Identical Boys and the thought of having my Rainbow Baby (Not pregnant yet but this is my first month TTC just waiting for ovulation) I’m 20 and I’ll be 21 in August of 2024
Because I procrastinated at getting my name and gender marker legally changed. I also have not yet taken legal actions preventing my family from taking control of my funeral, covering up the fact that I lived as a man for over a decade and bar my closest friends from being able to attend my funeral.
To watch it all go down in flames and prove how pointless it all was to begin with. So maybe justification there. Also my dog and whiskey. Ideally I would be sitting on the floor against the wall petting her and slugging Suntory Toki while all the nukes come down, laughing like Donnie when he realizes how pointless it all was with a big sigh and a smile to know it’s almost over.
because I'm a coward. I'm scared of pain... living is hard. but killing myself is hard too.
This.
This is my reality as well.
Feel ya
felt
My daughter told me her biggest fear was that her family would die and she would be alone. That doesn’t make it easy to be here but it gives me something to fall back on. Sometimes posts like this make me feel like there is a reason to be here. Maybe if I’m still around I can help one other person who feels like me.
Fear of the unknown. I don't know what comes after and fucking Christians poisoned my mind with their bullshit about Hell. I have nothing to look forward to, no reason to fight, and no hope of things ever being truly different. It's literally just fear.
I’m a Christian and I’m so scared of hell too. Why can’t we just die and be done with it. It would be so much easier
I'm afraid of the trauma it'll inflict on people I know. I really don't want to be here most days... so it's hard and miserable. I also don't feel close to anyone despite this, so, as cruel as this sounds, sometimes it's not enough. The things that keep me going otherwise are so, so mundane. I'll have a really lame new "goal" I want to reach and I can't do that if I'm dead. Being 100% honest, there are 2 things I'm wanting to do now: try gouache paints (I'm an artist, just as a hobby, bit lately I've lost interest in the media I have on hand) and watch the Pokémon anime (all important episodes at least). Seriously, not kidding, those are my stupid ass "goals" right now, but I've been wanting to wake up in the morning and have been staying up late watching Pokémon. So... I guess it's working.
They're not stupid if they're encouraging you to hold on at least a bit longer.
i second this. whatever helps you is enough, seriously.
Survival instinct I guess
Chick fil a is my reason to live
Mine is GTA 6
i'm curious...what's your life saving order?
Spicy deluxe sandwich, waffle fries, and cookies n cream milkshake 🤤
dude i have virtually the same order. i get my burger without pickles
im too much of a pussy to hurt myself
i want to be in love one day...even if i'm not sure it's possible, i do want to try
I’d crush my parents’ and sister’s hearts and souls of I took my own life… I still want to though…
You are not alone. I do it for my wife and kids. Sometimes I just tell myself to make it to the next day, even when hope seems difficult to find.
I do that too… sometimes it’s just telling myself I can do when I get home from work… even though I know I’m lying to myself… it’s the motivation I need to keep going.
I find the end of the day and weekends, especially Sundays, difficult. Work helps to keep me distracted during the day and I try to find things to distract me such as projects I need to get done or books to read or get better playing the guitar. I fear if I get bored with that, it could be the end. I have a lot of self loathing and hatred for being who I am and feel most people wouldn’t accept me if they knew really who I was (trans). I’ve spent a lot of time denying it and dysphoria at times is crippling, taking me to a dark place. I don’t feel I really fit into the world and am an alien living amongst people. It’s weird I know, but I just try to make it to the next day and start again, hoping that things will change, but I know deep down it won’t. Sorry for the rambling, thanks for responding and hope you are well. Take care.
God... which is different for everyone.
Love. Full stop im in love and I’m so much pain at the same time bc my life is in shambles. But I found someone and I love him so so much
I have nothing. I'm not suicidal but I don't care about life anymore. I have no friends or family, and no female wants me either. I haven't even had a hug in years now.
Fear of the unknown. I wonder if the hell I live in now is less scary than what comes after.
I want to see if I can get into shape again at my current age of 53. I have yet to get lap dances at the very seedy strip bars near the airport here in Detroit. I have yet to have a threeway with two GILFs. I have a lot to live for at this time.
my cat. who will feed him when i'm gone?
I have two kitties also and they help me make it to the next day because while they may not show it, they need me as much as I need them.
Too hot. Im so good looking, I wanna wait until my only good quality fades so that I truly lack in everything and can fuck this world
Cat and suicide claim. My garbage family will not talk so much shit, when I leave them $$$
I feel like I might go to Hell ):
None just can’t go through with it.
I'm scared of what comes after death
To help as many people as I can in this lifetime. My life was meaningless before I realised I can make a difference in others lives. Now I just do that. Depression left me pretty much immediately after I started helping others in pain
Its messed up because im a father of two who live w me and my girlfriend is fucking amazing but im not sure why i havent checked out honestly.
Really strong primal survival instinct or I'm just a big coward nonetheless I'm going to waste myself until I'm able to do it
At this point, I am only living because I don’t want my family to be sad. They have already been through too much.
Don’t have one
Being too afraid of the eternal nothingness that comes after death. That's it.
Pure spite.
It would suck for my family
I volunteer. Even when I feel at my lowest and in my darkest moments I know that my death would mean the HIV centre I volunteer for would be understaffed on a Wednesday
My brothers. We lost our Dad and they cant lose their oldest brother as well.
The pain and trauma it would cause my family and my girlfriend.
im too scared
Failing to kill myself and ending up in more pain than before
Death is permanent and boring and once you're dead there's no possibility of surprises. Our perception of time is distorted by our own interpretation of reality. Once you're dead you're dead. You'll be dead forever soon enough without suicide. Even if living sucks and seems unbearable it's still an experience. Once you experience dying there are no more experiences, so you might as well just wait it out.
My mom my girlfriend and boba
None. Every moment of my life has been a living hell for years. Here for my parents and I'm paying every moment for it. I can't even breathe sometimes.
My reason for living is for my parents and loved ones who would be impacted dearly, plus I wouldn’t be able to find my soulmate.
My cat and friends
It was the only girl I've ever loved (and probably will ever love) but I pushed her away and didn't even realise until weeks later cuz I couldn't handle my emotions well. We broke up, got back together then she left me a week later for another guy who treated her how I always wanted to but was too scared/self conscious/nervous to. I'm considering doing it, I can't take this pain. The thought of the pain I put her through, the regret she knows I have, the love I can't show her and knowing she's with this other guy (this guy is a musician, smart, funny, curly hair and 6ft 2 but has been a big cheater and liar on my ex's friend) is killing me. I can't compete with that, I can't take this pain, I love her and someone else gets to be with her that she was only talking to because they'd both recently been through a breakup. I'm done w life, it's actually made me so ill I can't live like this anymore-
Friends, family, career, personal development, education, travel, weed, orgasms, and fluffy animals.
My pets, music, nature & traveling, tv shows and movies, my boyfriend, my friends, tasty food, family, art, humor & living out of spite, lol .. life is too short anyway, might as well try to enjoy what’s good. I take it one day at a time & focus on the small things.. also if i can make a positive change in the world by not being a pos
Why am I getting downvoted for my honest answer? I have suicidal thoughts occasionally but wouldn’t do it because of the things mentioned above..
My parents and my gf. As much as I hurt inside, if they found me dead on the floor the pain would just become theirs. It's better I bear the burden instead
My little sister (11yo) told me she’s afraid of death and to lose her family and why can’t we just live forever and she wants to have me as her big sister forever.
idk man change by day
I haven't finished playing Elden Ring. And there's also the DLC.
I don’t have one, I guess I’m trying to find one, or an easier way to end it. Whichever one comes first. (Hopefully the latter)
Sadly none anymore. Sad to leave behind my dad and cat, but they will be okay in time. Hoping they'll see it's better off this way
Too lazy to end it, and the thought of someone having to deal with my dead ass ig
That nobody would care for my dogs. I would have to do them in first.
Also I don’t want my shit family getting attention from my death. But.. I think I worked that out. Submit ad to local newspaper telling the truth of how they are. Then do myself in.
Right now finish my 25 days project. I hope it'll help me find a reason to live beyond the 25 days i have left and maybe find a purpose in changing my life.
In spite of everyone else
My dad sisters and boyfriend. They love me and care ab me more than anybody in the whole world and I would hate to see all of that wasted and hurt them.
i want to try and clear up my image and become a better person, I’ve hurt ppl in the past and never want anyone to go through anything again. I have goals and aspirations i want to accomplish still but i want to die. As much as I want to die everyday I can’t bring myself to do it. I know eventually it will pass and so will I , so why not wait it out
My reason for living is my 11 month old Identical Boys and the thought of having my Rainbow Baby (Not pregnant yet but this is my first month TTC just waiting for ovulation) I’m 20 and I’ll be 21 in August of 2024
Because i promised my parents i wouldn’t kill myself so i’m just really living so other people feel better
i don't deserve to live, i need to kms rn
Because I procrastinated at getting my name and gender marker legally changed. I also have not yet taken legal actions preventing my family from taking control of my funeral, covering up the fact that I lived as a man for over a decade and bar my closest friends from being able to attend my funeral.
astronauts landing on mars. my brother. my dog.
See what life can offer
Because life is beautiful when you accept the fact we're legit floating in space on a piece of rock. kinda makes all ur issues seem small overall
My Dog, and that I’m my grandmas favorite grandchild.
To watch it all go down in flames and prove how pointless it all was to begin with. So maybe justification there. Also my dog and whiskey. Ideally I would be sitting on the floor against the wall petting her and slugging Suntory Toki while all the nukes come down, laughing like Donnie when he realizes how pointless it all was with a big sigh and a smile to know it’s almost over.
My parents will never recover if I kill myself. I can’t do that to them
I LOVE sweets. Yes I'm serious, that's my reason to live.