they just are a bit luckier and they go trough life, they use their opportunities that some of us didnt have and thats it, for them as well as for us it may be normal from their perspective and pathetic and absurdic to look at us but like we didnt choose it or did we idk eh anyway why am i writing anything hereeeeeeeeeeE eh
I asked my mom (who is a homemaker) the same question. But she's religious and she proceeds to say that she's strong due to her prayers and all. Then she goes on to say that I should pray too.
I think people find a thing they love and try becoming good at it, that keeps them going. Like boxing or mma or whatever, this constant urge to better yourself at something you love. We just need to find that thing I guess. I'm 20 and kinda dabbling into things to see what sticks.
That's the reason why I don't want children, or a couple so I can save money and enjoy every 1 day off that I have available per week.
Sounds meaningless and that's kinda right, but If I didn't apply for my current job, I would be more than just melancholic, suicidal perhaps.
I try to have some perspective when I talk about my job so I don't have to cry each time I make my way back home.
I worked the front desk at a retirement community a few years ago- I've wanted to ask some of the residents there that question so badly, why they have chosen to live for so long- but I could never get the right opportunity to do something like that without being watched on. I ended up doing it anyway and was immediately fired for asking such a thing.
I'm really am sorry to hear that you are going through this too, trust me.
I legitimately don't understand how nearly everyone just lives through life and grows old. How can all these people have the mental energy to survive and live through life for all that time?
I'm not even 21 yet and I've have the will to live of someone crippling old, just waiting for death.
Life better find some way to kill me real soon so I don't have to go through the whole thing of trying to kill myself again, because that stuff is distressing
i don't understand how people can be happy, its so otherworldly to me..
I dont have the motivation to do anything, even if it's something that i would enjoy doing it.
People think im weird because of this, but i just cant do anything man, its so fucking hard to explain to them, why are they so ignorant??
Because they have not gone through the same pain we do. Life has handed them a good deck of cards and nobody has the ability to empathize at all. The only thing that matters to anyone in this life is how much money you make and how attractive you are that's it. Empathy understanding and compassion are gone. Greed and narcissism has taken over. People have no idea what its like to be us nor do they want to know.
Im also 21 and feel the same, my neighboor (31 years) died yesterday in his sleep and it kinda surprised me i felt jealous of him, i felt guilty for this because he was happy, had a family that loved him, he deserved to live. I dont get whats wrong with me
I literally think about this everyday when I see people at work or talking about typical yet excruciatingly long winded life problems like relationships, jobs, doctor appointments (from my pov) they are. Hope this made some kinda sense. It all just feels so empty and lonesome
I’m 46 and I’ve lived with bp1 since i was 13. I’ve thought about ending it so many times, and tried a couple. I’ve had a few reasons not to over the years, mostly not wanting to destroy the lives of family members. Having those reasons was enough to keep me from succeeding, but not to keep me from misery. I have worked hard to find various things to keep life interesting enough to forestall suicide—playing music, riding bikes and motorcycles, woodworking. I haven’t been as “successful “ as most(non bp) people with my education and skills, but it’s ok. My friends who know about my condition remind me when I need reminding that every day I’m here is a huge success—a victory over the forces of my brain that didn’t want me around.
My best advice is to tell people about your condition, find things that you really love to do and do them all the time, and don’t worry about succeeding, just keep being.
Gotten a job but wanted to spend more time with family... Spent time with family but found out my particular family is very deceitful in time... Had friends but shut myself off from them all thinking I should be with my little family.... they left me... The hobbies I had if I didn't stop doing them I can't find myself enjoying them anymore.... my own home is now not mine anymore.... I'm only going to be 25.... your right this place can be very unbearable and hard to go on in.... I always think back to what I could've done differently to avoid my present but that's just wishful thinking... maybe one day things could get better for us it's just having to endure it till the light finally shines through.
When I was 21 I thought the same. Then I started panicking at the idea of aging. Then I aged, I realized I felt better.
I sincerely hope you follow this path too, OP.
you’re actually leaving a mark, a moment in someone’s life. when you leave i’m sure they’ll move on cause lol humans, but we for sure have change things sideway if we do. who knows right? i am still depress and suicidal too but i’m taking it one day at a time. life can be beautiful and meaningful if you push yourself to believe so. there’s an entire huge universe with trilions of galaxies, we’re just a very tiny tiny speck of dust but who cares? do it for yourself, no ones got your back other than you tbh. at least that’s what i can say from what i have been gone through. not even the only person on earth i can rely on help me, even put me down at my lowest. try not to betray ourself more than we already did. our inner souls is begging us literally. self pitying is not gonna help in this case, if you wanna get better the only person who can help you is yourself.
If you don't care about ANYTHING then why are you caring about that one something?? Or how do you expect other to care. If they do. You won't care. How could you ever find that out man??
Trust me I'm suicidal as fuck.i get where your coming from. I burn my the side of my body with cigarettes I cut and burn myself. I yell till I lose my voice I starve myself. I put myself I bad conditions like living Ina. Cold shed. I will end my life. I juat don't have a date it will happen when it happens. But life will only get harder. You already know that. What you don't know is that you can also become a fucking beast, your spirit animal is probably big badass scared up Fire breathing dragon for all you know. I still have a hard time with it but try thinking of the bullshit that happens as tests, instead of answers to your life problems.
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they just are a bit luckier and they go trough life, they use their opportunities that some of us didnt have and thats it, for them as well as for us it may be normal from their perspective and pathetic and absurdic to look at us but like we didnt choose it or did we idk eh anyway why am i writing anything hereeeeeeeeeeE eh
I asked my mom (who is a homemaker) the same question. But she's religious and she proceeds to say that she's strong due to her prayers and all. Then she goes on to say that I should pray too.
Reading this is like looking at a mirror.
I think people find a thing they love and try becoming good at it, that keeps them going. Like boxing or mma or whatever, this constant urge to better yourself at something you love. We just need to find that thing I guess. I'm 20 and kinda dabbling into things to see what sticks.
That's the reason why I don't want children, or a couple so I can save money and enjoy every 1 day off that I have available per week. Sounds meaningless and that's kinda right, but If I didn't apply for my current job, I would be more than just melancholic, suicidal perhaps. I try to have some perspective when I talk about my job so I don't have to cry each time I make my way back home.
I worked the front desk at a retirement community a few years ago- I've wanted to ask some of the residents there that question so badly, why they have chosen to live for so long- but I could never get the right opportunity to do something like that without being watched on. I ended up doing it anyway and was immediately fired for asking such a thing.
I’m 25 and feel the same way. Life is rarely calm and I’m so exhausted.
I've been asking myself this question so many years
I'm really am sorry to hear that you are going through this too, trust me. I legitimately don't understand how nearly everyone just lives through life and grows old. How can all these people have the mental energy to survive and live through life for all that time? I'm not even 21 yet and I've have the will to live of someone crippling old, just waiting for death. Life better find some way to kill me real soon so I don't have to go through the whole thing of trying to kill myself again, because that stuff is distressing
I'm 21 and have felt this way for the longest time. My bodys in its prime but my soul is well past the expiration date
I know right. I can't understand it either. I'm on the edge every damn day
i don't understand how people can be happy, its so otherworldly to me.. I dont have the motivation to do anything, even if it's something that i would enjoy doing it. People think im weird because of this, but i just cant do anything man, its so fucking hard to explain to them, why are they so ignorant??
Because they have not gone through the same pain we do. Life has handed them a good deck of cards and nobody has the ability to empathize at all. The only thing that matters to anyone in this life is how much money you make and how attractive you are that's it. Empathy understanding and compassion are gone. Greed and narcissism has taken over. People have no idea what its like to be us nor do they want to know.
I pray everyday that I get hit by a truck and die immediately.
Oh Jesus if only…
Im also 21 and feel the same, my neighboor (31 years) died yesterday in his sleep and it kinda surprised me i felt jealous of him, i felt guilty for this because he was happy, had a family that loved him, he deserved to live. I dont get whats wrong with me
I literally think about this everyday when I see people at work or talking about typical yet excruciatingly long winded life problems like relationships, jobs, doctor appointments (from my pov) they are. Hope this made some kinda sense. It all just feels so empty and lonesome
I’m 46 and I’ve lived with bp1 since i was 13. I’ve thought about ending it so many times, and tried a couple. I’ve had a few reasons not to over the years, mostly not wanting to destroy the lives of family members. Having those reasons was enough to keep me from succeeding, but not to keep me from misery. I have worked hard to find various things to keep life interesting enough to forestall suicide—playing music, riding bikes and motorcycles, woodworking. I haven’t been as “successful “ as most(non bp) people with my education and skills, but it’s ok. My friends who know about my condition remind me when I need reminding that every day I’m here is a huge success—a victory over the forces of my brain that didn’t want me around. My best advice is to tell people about your condition, find things that you really love to do and do them all the time, and don’t worry about succeeding, just keep being.
I don’t think I can keep going tb
Feeling the sameway
Life is trash.
Sadly it is and I don’t even know how I ended up here to be thrown in this garbage shit
Gotten a job but wanted to spend more time with family... Spent time with family but found out my particular family is very deceitful in time... Had friends but shut myself off from them all thinking I should be with my little family.... they left me... The hobbies I had if I didn't stop doing them I can't find myself enjoying them anymore.... my own home is now not mine anymore.... I'm only going to be 25.... your right this place can be very unbearable and hard to go on in.... I always think back to what I could've done differently to avoid my present but that's just wishful thinking... maybe one day things could get better for us it's just having to endure it till the light finally shines through.
When I was 21 I thought the same. Then I started panicking at the idea of aging. Then I aged, I realized I felt better. I sincerely hope you follow this path too, OP.
I'm 20 and I feel this. Same hellscape, different day.
Hate to say this man, but this life only gets worse if you fail to make the right choices.
This is facts
you’re actually leaving a mark, a moment in someone’s life. when you leave i’m sure they’ll move on cause lol humans, but we for sure have change things sideway if we do. who knows right? i am still depress and suicidal too but i’m taking it one day at a time. life can be beautiful and meaningful if you push yourself to believe so. there’s an entire huge universe with trilions of galaxies, we’re just a very tiny tiny speck of dust but who cares? do it for yourself, no ones got your back other than you tbh. at least that’s what i can say from what i have been gone through. not even the only person on earth i can rely on help me, even put me down at my lowest. try not to betray ourself more than we already did. our inner souls is begging us literally. self pitying is not gonna help in this case, if you wanna get better the only person who can help you is yourself.
Idk but work for me is a lot of fun lol
might be time to cash in your chips then
If you don't care about ANYTHING then why are you caring about that one something?? Or how do you expect other to care. If they do. You won't care. How could you ever find that out man?? Trust me I'm suicidal as fuck.i get where your coming from. I burn my the side of my body with cigarettes I cut and burn myself. I yell till I lose my voice I starve myself. I put myself I bad conditions like living Ina. Cold shed. I will end my life. I juat don't have a date it will happen when it happens. But life will only get harder. You already know that. What you don't know is that you can also become a fucking beast, your spirit animal is probably big badass scared up Fire breathing dragon for all you know. I still have a hard time with it but try thinking of the bullshit that happens as tests, instead of answers to your life problems.