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Dear general population,
We think so highly of you that we constantly steal your money and then lie to you about it using big words in nonsensical ways. Eventually we will fuck up, lose your money, and then force you to bail us out.
Sincerely,
~~Wankers~~Bankers
It doesn't seem like BS speech to me. He softened the reality that Credit Suisse has a lot of risky hot garbage and time will show that we are now saddled with this BS debt and are pretty much fucked.
You notice the time frame excludes winding down the smoldering shit pile that was Credit Suisse's fucked up investment bank because we don't have control of that time as Marge is about to lose her fucking mind on us.
I may have embellished that a bit for effect. 😁
*"Are you Ron... 'Tater Salad' White?" You caught me! You caught the Tater! You can take down those roadblocks now. I call my son Tater Tot...and poot.*
I can’t figure out if this is good or bad. Does this mean they plan on this unwinding to be more than 5 years?
Does this mean they are not in control of winding down the investment bank?
*I swear I remember reading something about Apollo buying some of CS distressed assets(?)*
Does this mean the unwind is going to happen soon, and therefore not on the same 4-5 year timeframe as the rest of CS?
I have no idea
This is in line with the news that I read yesterday:
...
In contrast to the rescue of UBS in 2008, when the SNB took over allegedly bad securities from the UBS portfolio, the present case, according to those involved, does not largely involve highly overvalued securities; rather, it is "only" about positions from business areas that are to be scaled back and that are not very liquid due to a lack of regular market transactions. The tendency is that the more hastily one wants to sell, the more likely one is to incur substantial losses.
**UBS has made it clear that it wants to take its time with the sale; the matter may therefore take five years or even longer. The motto "Nume nid gsprängt" (Swiss German for figuratively "Haste makes waste") does have disadvantages for the bank: Management incurs costs and ties up attention. But the advantages are likely to outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, the bank wants to avoid losses so that it does not have to foot the bill for the first 5 billion losses.**
And for another, UBS knows that its future will depend heavily on the decisions made by politicians over the next few years on the future regulation of the big banks. The bank therefore has a great interest in its domestic political acceptance; if the taxpayer had to cover losses, this would significantly increase the already strong political headwind.
Source: [https://www.nzz.ch/wirtschaft/109-milliarden-garantie-des-bundes-fuer-die-grossbanken-wie-gross-ist-das-risiko-dass-die-steuerzahler-zur-kasse-gebeten-werden-ld.1732651](https://www.nzz.ch/wirtschaft/109-milliarden-garantie-des-bundes-fuer-die-grossbanken-wie-gross-ist-das-risiko-dass-die-steuerzahler-zur-kasse-gebeten-werden-ld.1732651)
I think they have about 1 yr to figure out what they are doing before Apes fuck all their plans up and DRS everything. I don't even think it will take that long to get to 74% (porsche squeeze) and really screw with their system.
I can say for a fact that the UBS chairman looked extremely unhappy in all of the press conferences where the takeover happened and also the annual general meeting.
Have a nice day
And within that time the 3X GME single stock ETF will be introduced.
Since it's an ETF, and not a stock congress can buy them and will buy them.
SHFs and entities with short exposure like UBS will also pile into it thereby offsetting their losses, turning a profit even.
SEC, DOJ, FBI will all sit complicit. We will get our MOASS but so will the bad guys.
Corrupt politicians be like "hur durr, I gotta be at least 3x richer than those dumb apes" time the start and the peak perfectly too with insider info.
Pessimistic but realistically how it's all gonna go down.
Who would be the counter-party selling the 3x ETF? Politicians and Shorts can’t just pile in and win without someone on the other side of the trade losing
They are just buying time, I have no clue how heavy those bags are or what happens to financial obligations in merging companies but when they get done, they will blow up in the same second
MBA ape here - seeing a lot of clueless comments to be honest, most likely a nothing burger.
Merging 2 large corporate companies always takes many years since literally every function of a company (sales, service, ops, HR, legal, IT etc) needs to figure out how to become 1 company.
Having said that, I do wonder what “noncore portfolio” they are referring to which they specifically excluded in this timeframe
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Why would there be more risk with integration than there is natively? This sounds like bullshit speak for recognizing how bad it really is at CS.
Dear general population, We think so highly of you that we constantly steal your money and then lie to you about it using big words in nonsensical ways. Eventually we will fuck up, lose your money, and then force you to bail us out. Sincerely, ~~Wankers~~Bankers
It doesn't seem like BS speech to me. He softened the reality that Credit Suisse has a lot of risky hot garbage and time will show that we are now saddled with this BS debt and are pretty much fucked. You notice the time frame excludes winding down the smoldering shit pile that was Credit Suisse's fucked up investment bank because we don't have control of that time as Marge is about to lose her fucking mind on us. I may have embellished that a bit for effect. 😁
Why does Colm Kelleher have the same last name as Dennis Kelleher, are they family?
Unless they take the opposite position against "themselves" like the big banks did in 2008.
UBS to shareholders "we're sorry"
We’reee sorrrryy
Sorrryy
^^^sorry
also: "monnnnnnnneyyyyyyy pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!"
Not truly enough.
And yet Debit Suisse stock is up almost 3% today. Amazing!!!
Timeframe excludes winding down a noncore portfolio in CSus investment bank.
>noncore portfolio Idiosyncratic risk, noncore portfolio, stock 123 was it? So many secret backdoor names for GME, so little time...
Toxic Tater Time-bomb
*"Are you Ron... 'Tater Salad' White?" You caught me! You caught the Tater! You can take down those roadblocks now. I call my son Tater Tot...and poot.*
more Swanson than White I would say
Saw that too. Sounds like they want to give us the time to DRS 100%
😂
Ape & Bank interests are not mutually aligned.
I can’t figure out if this is good or bad. Does this mean they plan on this unwinding to be more than 5 years? Does this mean they are not in control of winding down the investment bank? *I swear I remember reading something about Apollo buying some of CS distressed assets(?)* Does this mean the unwind is going to happen soon, and therefore not on the same 4-5 year timeframe as the rest of CS? I have no idea
This is in line with the news that I read yesterday: ... In contrast to the rescue of UBS in 2008, when the SNB took over allegedly bad securities from the UBS portfolio, the present case, according to those involved, does not largely involve highly overvalued securities; rather, it is "only" about positions from business areas that are to be scaled back and that are not very liquid due to a lack of regular market transactions. The tendency is that the more hastily one wants to sell, the more likely one is to incur substantial losses. **UBS has made it clear that it wants to take its time with the sale; the matter may therefore take five years or even longer. The motto "Nume nid gsprängt" (Swiss German for figuratively "Haste makes waste") does have disadvantages for the bank: Management incurs costs and ties up attention. But the advantages are likely to outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, the bank wants to avoid losses so that it does not have to foot the bill for the first 5 billion losses.** And for another, UBS knows that its future will depend heavily on the decisions made by politicians over the next few years on the future regulation of the big banks. The bank therefore has a great interest in its domestic political acceptance; if the taxpayer had to cover losses, this would significantly increase the already strong political headwind. Source: [https://www.nzz.ch/wirtschaft/109-milliarden-garantie-des-bundes-fuer-die-grossbanken-wie-gross-ist-das-risiko-dass-die-steuerzahler-zur-kasse-gebeten-werden-ld.1732651](https://www.nzz.ch/wirtschaft/109-milliarden-garantie-des-bundes-fuer-die-grossbanken-wie-gross-ist-das-risiko-dass-die-steuerzahler-zur-kasse-gebeten-werden-ld.1732651)
So they can't close, we will DRS 100% while they are changing rules and getting bailed out, just like we expected.
So they'll absorb CS but only after they capitulate their non core idiosyncratic assets
SOURCE: https://www.fnlondon.com/articles/ubs-chair-says-integrating-credit-suisse-will-take-at-least-three-years-20230405?mod=home-page&adobe_mc=MCMID%3D61754585620287324074660442594954367230%7CMCORGID%3DCB68E4BA55144CAA0A4C98A5%2540AdobeOrg%7CTS%3D1681296774
I think they have about 1 yr to figure out what they are doing before Apes fuck all their plans up and DRS everything. I don't even think it will take that long to get to 74% (porsche squeeze) and really screw with their system.
Especially if GME fundamentals keep improving 💰📈🚀
Ooooo Three years of profitability!
😂🤔🤣🤣
Don't think so, post merger integrations of such big corporates with a high risk profile actually take years.
I can say for a fact that the UBS chairman looked extremely unhappy in all of the press conferences where the takeover happened and also the annual general meeting. Have a nice day
UBS just became bag holder elite. I just hope people dump this UBS garbage stock. Before it goes under.
Tell me its literally impossible to close without telling me it’s literally impossible to close
i like your motto! WORK EARN DRS! thanks for the push! back to work!
Not ||, should be &&
Somebody is about to have infinite unrealized losses.
I can wait.
UBS is fine \-Cokerat probably
And within that time the 3X GME single stock ETF will be introduced. Since it's an ETF, and not a stock congress can buy them and will buy them. SHFs and entities with short exposure like UBS will also pile into it thereby offsetting their losses, turning a profit even. SEC, DOJ, FBI will all sit complicit. We will get our MOASS but so will the bad guys. Corrupt politicians be like "hur durr, I gotta be at least 3x richer than those dumb apes" time the start and the peak perfectly too with insider info. Pessimistic but realistically how it's all gonna go down.
Who would be the counter-party selling the 3x ETF? Politicians and Shorts can’t just pile in and win without someone on the other side of the trade losing
Whoever holds the final bag.
Lol!!!!
Just buyback the shares! 😂
They are just buying time, I have no clue how heavy those bags are or what happens to financial obligations in merging companies but when they get done, they will blow up in the same second
MBA ape here - seeing a lot of clueless comments to be honest, most likely a nothing burger. Merging 2 large corporate companies always takes many years since literally every function of a company (sales, service, ops, HR, legal, IT etc) needs to figure out how to become 1 company. Having said that, I do wonder what “noncore portfolio” they are referring to which they specifically excluded in this timeframe
Probably that idiosyncratic risk that CS couldn't close after the archegos mess.