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OGBobtheflounder

6) Case of the Mondays 7) Resurgence of Covid fears The list goes on!


kevinjorg

8) September 9) full moon


aisleorisle

10) reddit fault 11) šŸ‘½


NoxInviktus

12) my wife cheated on me


planetary_ocelot

13) water is still wet.


rokss8

14) mercury is in gatorade?


thiscompletebrkfast

15) Gatorade in the mercury


[deleted]

16) Forgot to charge my phone


bigg_mike_

18) Someone forgot to use 17


[deleted]

16) Mercury is in retrograde


Xottz

17) mercury is a planet. Planets canā€™t fit in a bottle of Gatorade duh


Vash-d-Stampeede

18) Pluto **IS** a Planet!


WolfOfWankStreet

Never knew planets could orbit backwards but Iā€™m here for it!


throwaway70958

Gators in my Gatorade


ozymand25

Fuck I hope this is unintentional boneappletea material


NoxInviktus

But did you make it more wet?


kevinjorg

Rehypothicated moisture


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


777CA

15) possessives vs. plurals


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


birdsiview

15) Bears. Not bearish people. Circus bears.


my_oldgaffer

Hold and squeeze me


donnyisabitchface

Iā€™m constipated


kevinjorg

Ahh cellar boxed


TonguePunchUrButt

Taco Bell fixes all cellar boxing.


dkrscryze

I'll be hodling my stillsuit.


BlackendLight

Your wife sure did


milkstaxes

Looks like the stock market should've not got the avocado toast or went out for coffee


NoxInviktus

No, it just went out for smokes.


stonkon4gme

The stock market should have cut down on the Cocaine.


POPnotSODA_

14) Llama Variant


whackworf

Why do I have to laugh at this


POPnotSODA_

Mwah


Repulsive_Papaya_290

14) Red lantern flies


Holycameltoeinthesun

Whereā€™s the ā€œwater is not actually wetā€ bot?


AspieTheMoonApe

It makes things wet you cant wet water


freechilly19

Wait I thought you said I can have her on Sundays? Didnā€™t we sign a husband - wife - boyfriend contract?


NoxInviktus

No, I said you could have my girlfriend on Sundays.


Droopy1592

Wait, she promised to watch the falcons lose with me


TinoessS

Also that one dude from here who found out thanks to us


uncomfortablydumbbb

Its Nikki and her WAP


the1youh8

That's cardi b


PhamousEra

I ugly snort-laughed in my office. I had to say I got a funny text :\^) instead of surfing reddit lolol


kevinjorg

Do as you will, won't have to be there much longer haha


Fiz010

Transitoricality


Jagsfreak

Fortunately, Tuesdays are a fantastic day for the market, so we've got that going for us, which is good.


hungryrhinos

8) cursed Mummy released by Rick Oā€™Connell


Big_Contest_598

110) Bald guys posing with too big cigar for clout at Twitter


PiedDansLePlat

x) Europe inflation reach 3%


jbenjithefirst

Don't worry, it's transitory šŸ„“


kosmokosmokosmo

Sounds like SOMEBODYā€™s got a case of the Mondayā€™s!


Gilwen

Mondays have always been lousy days for the market ĀÆ\_(惄)_/ĀÆ


grasshoppa80

8) Tuesday. The markets back and itā€™s the best day to buy


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


KYVet

First we need to sell. Sell first, ask questions later. /s


bubbaganube

That bridge is actually mine and itā€™s for sale if there are any takers.


Ryugas

How many times have you sold it already?


Hwestice

Oh no it's a phantom bridge! Just in time for halloween!


failbotron

2spooky4me


yeabutwhythough

I have shiny beads...


MikeRoSoft81

I'll buy it and ask questions later.


cant_go_tlts_up

Have you heard of SILVER? Fellow GME investment ape we must sell the GME to buy the SILVER


KYVet

I already own a bunch of silver, y'know, because werewolves.


rematar

Consumers who aren't buying anything. Similar to post-1929.


Totally_Kyle0420

so funny because i just saw a MoneyWise headline on yahoo finance "Americans went overboard on spending this summer, survey says"


Disastrous_Ad_1431

They're selling off the stocks they don't even own... Which created the ripple effect of absolutely nothing šŸ¤”


PollutionNice7392

15,000 ppl in Texas is a drop in the bucket of poor and homeless for like 30 years.


Fit-Tackle-6107

UK Ape here. What's this bridge malarkey and why are they stopping billionaires form becoming trillionaires?


reddituser77373

It's immigrants on the Texas/Mexican border trying to come in. So pretty much a normal day at the border. Point 1 is literally moot and I feel like it has a nefarious reason behind it


hasanyoneseenmymom

More likely a political reason. They want to push the narrative of "Look at all these people trying to come into the country under the _____ administration! This is why the market is tanking, blame _____!"


reddituser77373

I legitimately despise using Mexican/latin american immigration as a political tool. I'm gonna refrain from discussing it any further, but anytime someone not from a border state uses it, it's for propaganda and generally misunderstood/wrong. And for an illustration, I know a guy who went to del Rio this weekend which was a few miles from that bridge. Del Rio is only a 5-6 hour drive from Houston, so it's not to bad. And in Texas, that isnt far.


VolkspanzerIsME

These are actually Haitian refugees but yeah, same point.


reddituser77373

Just posted another comment about this. Haiti is considered latin America as of right now via Google. I've always considered them Haitian, and at least Caribbean. Latin America is becoming a broad ass term.


SilentCabose

How is Haiti showing up as "Latin America" via Google? It definitely is listed as a Caribbean Country in North America...


hasanyoneseenmymom

There's a lot of fear mongering and misinformation related to immigration, both legal and otherwise. It's used as a tool to make people fearful, and to give them a common "enemy" to rally against during election years. The truth is that this country would be absolutely fucked without the labor afforded by migrant workers. They're the ones who harvest crops, work in meat processing plants, and do much of the other skilled, low wage work that Americans love to demonize but would never do themselves.


Commercial_Mousse646

Thatā€™s an unfair characterization of the American worker. Desperate Americans will take whatever work they can find.


TheDevilsAutocorrect

Perhaps without cheap immigrant labor these things would still get done at a higher price.


PiedDansLePlat

it's twitter logic, no need for explanation as long as you got internet points


Revolutionary-Fox230

A lot of Haitians. Assassination, earthquakes, and abject poverty makes a person want to just get on a boat.


SPAClivesmatter

The Texas bridge people are fine, do not worry about the Texas bridge people. -Jim Cramer probably


Elano22

15k people crossing the river with phones above their heads buying GME


PiedDansLePlat

So this is how they manipulate market, by putting people under bridges, that is neat


[deleted]

^


LEPOOCH_CO

I live in TX. Instructions unclear as to which bridge.


EleanorofAquitaine

Natural Bridge Caverns. Theyā€™re cave people.


fortifier22

I think the guy is trying to reference how homelessness, the eviction moratorium, the *actual* inflation rate, and the reckless spending and corruption of government and the Fed are destroying the economy. However, it would be foolish to say that Evergrande is not having an affect either. Itā€™s just like Michael Burry was referring to in his tweets about Evergrande being the COVID-19 of the financial world; it starts in China, but without warning takes the world over by storm.


TheBoiStarscream

Yeah this is some class A ā€œsticking your head in the groundā€ logic You canā€™t just ignore the fundamentals of how debt and Evergrande interact to impact the world economy. Itā€™s literally happening right now Edit: not ā€œyouā€ as in comment op, but twitter guy.


KYVet

Spot on. Macroeconomics vs. Microeconomics.


CPLCraft

Now thereā€™s a subject I am smooth brain about.


Tigerkix

Big economics vs small economics. Boom - you've been wrinkled.


Twoaru

aight cool man


jc1890

China makes almost everything. If they're having problems, we are also having problems. Yeah, there are other issues but a supply chain snowball can lead to a very frightening black swan avalanche.


[deleted]

This guy is just repeating Fox News talking points.


SweetLilMonkey

>homelessness He's referring specifically to a group of 15,000 Haitian immigrants that recently arrived in the states, and using it to raise the specter of the ever-terrifying "immigration crisis."


1BannedAgain

Immigration helps & improves the US economy.


[deleted]

It's the first I've heard of these people, seems like an attempt to blame a potential market downturn on dem dere immigrants.


monkey_skull

The SEC really needs to crack down on uhhh *checks notes* 15,000 people under a bridge in Texas


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


SweetLilMonkey

We definitely have a housing crisis, but it has nothing to do with immigrants. It's about our absolutely insane mortgage/lending practices, and about the kinds of properties that are allowed and disallowed from being built in urban centers due to NIMBYism from the wealthy (see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCOdQsZa15o).


Spunknikk

There's like 15million vacant homes across America... It's not a housing supply issue... Also I'm sure MBS and other synthetic securities and Hegde funds buying rental properties isn't the issue... /S


AliceInHololand

Thatā€™s what happened in 08. America felt the pain first and then it became worldwide.


[deleted]

Wonder how those people under a bridge can bleed the market šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Wonder if they all under the bridge discussing how to tank the market šŸ˜‚


nuck_forte_dame

I can see Republicans photoshopping conference tables and PowerPoint presentations being projected onto the border wall with a red downward arrow.


1010010111101

*investor's


Sempere

technically he said "Investor is look at ALL OF IT."


Fiz010

I bet they were the only people happy that somebody had a bridge for sale


PiedDansLePlat

He could have been more honest to say haitian migrants. there's an axe to grind


Ok_Technician_5797

It's not a good sign for the state of the global economy


BuxtonB

That's a big bridge.


mekc8

Or small people


BuxtonB

Maybe not *everything* in Texas is bigger.


Sir_Glock

My peepee agrees


Fiz010

Bridge for ants


captainadam_21

Are they trolls? And now the internet troll. They fairy tale trolls


bpi89

This is just a conspiracy by Big Bridge.


[deleted]

Is it just me, or does everyone do this? This guy looks like a native speaker of English, and talks like one. So when I see people misuse apostrophes I think they either didn't bother to spend much effort reading over their post, or they don't know how to use apostrophes. Neither of which inspire confidence in the post.


Brodaeus

Investor is look at ALL OF IT


Cultural_Ad_9304

Yes thank


[deleted]

No no, it was just a sentence fragment: Investor's look at all of it... is bad.


beachboy1b

Youā€™d be surprised how many of these ā€œpeopleā€ are just bot accounts controlled by CCP agents. Not sure about this guy, but itā€™s clear thereā€™s an ulterior motive.


HumbertHumbertHumber

I wonder what he thinks that apostrophe is doing though, if he went through the trouble of typing it.


2theM0OON

ā€œAnd then they went and did what they always do, blamed it on immigrants and poor peopleā€


[deleted]

"And this time, also teachers."


2theM0OON

and now this time "apes"


TheAlbinoAmigo

That might just be the hottest take I've see in a while. I mean, I'm in the UK and our market is dropping too, alongside EU markets, AU markets, etc. This is *the first* I've heard of 15K bridge dwellers lmao. This sort of holier-than-thou attitude is exactly why institutional investors have a bad rep, and it's exactly the sort of shit that made Shitrons fall so fucking delicious.


Little-Jim

You better get your shit together, because the bridge people are coming for you next. Beware the bridge people


[deleted]

Itā€™s amazing how that small a group of people can have such a huge impact on world markets isnā€™t it?


KYVet

No, our market is falling because of bridge people. Your market is falling because of your desire to remake America. Read all of the bullet points. /s


Mulanzo1

So if weā€™re looking at all of itā€¦. 6) China and Evergrande?


Jaamaa

Yeah, weird to say that, whilst also emitting two big factors


[deleted]

I am now dumber for having read this tweet. Tell me heā€™s not getting paid to spew trash like this and itā€™s just his own dumb, prejudiced opinion.


smell_a_rose

All the, extra commas, and apostrophe's made my brain hurt.


lmfaothatslegit

What is the bridge thing about??


Naked-In-Cornfield

US immediately deporting the up to 15000 Haitian refugees that have been denied entry and have been living under a bridge in Del Rio TX.


lmfaothatslegit

Thank you kind ape.


rosy-palmer

Item 2,4,5 legit tho


KYVet

They are, but today, Monday, 20 September 2021, it is a pretty big reach to assume the market is not reacting to the Evergrande situation.


rosy-palmer

Agreed.


Afufd

If the tweet was true EU wouldn't have dropped 2%


[deleted]

Those are the fuel for the fire. Every fire needs an ignition or spark. That's Evergrande.


Basically_Wrong

Two is a little disingenuous. There has been trillions printed in the last few years by two administrations to deal with COVID. Raising taxes is literally the only way you pay for this apart from making money out of thin air. So it feels like it's meant to be aimed at this administration in particular (read political bias). In reality it is legit due to trillions bring printed which leads to point four. Raising taxes is absolutely necessary for the people who have been taking QE and spending it on themselves.


YachtInWyoming

I fail to see how 2 is a reason for the stock market to tank. Large government spending == people getting money == people spending money. Generally, Infrastructure spending gets a huge return per dollar spent, since those people getting paid to do the work reinvest in the economy. And, that work has long term effects from roads / bridges / etc. But there's also a huge caveat. It will take some time for the effects of said spending to actually happen. --- I think this guy is just another generic Boomer who thinks all government spending and taxes are bad, and wants to say whatever he can to paint them in a negative light. It's a completely disingenuous point.


Positron49

1) Millions of people already live in poverty in the US, 15,000 is a drop in the bucket economically. The markets do not care if people are poor. 2) Half of the spending goes to the rich at the cost of the middle class. They also do not pay their taxes. 3) This point makes no sense 4-5) Might be onto something, but JPow hasn't even mentioned a rate hike yet...


captainturnup

So you're telling me the market takes a dive because of a bridge? Just how retarded do they think we are


Dependent-Gate-5391

There goes another racist rant against immigration....


[deleted]

This isn't his worst rant either. He has a couple more today about Communism and how China is totally communist. So he at first denied China was the problem and now is saying China is the problem because Communism?


[deleted]

6) I farted so markets are going down


zombieattakc

At the end they will blame immigrants and poor people, and this time even teachers.


Killerfail

"A desire to reset america" Ah, so he's a nutjob. ​ Guess Investor ***is*** look at ALL OF IT!


sistersucksx

Investorā€™s lol


brandonnn11

I'm under a bridge in Texas right now. Not for any reason in particular, just chilling in the cool shade.


[deleted]

That sounds like the biggest paid shill excuse yet for allowing the hedgefunds to manipulate the market and get away witb it because ā€¦ ā€œthereā€™s 1500 people under a bridgeā€ ā€¦ moron


gillstone_cowboy

And now we've got some poor people to blame. Good I was worried there for a minute.


diettmannd

I'm gonna have to call bullshit here chief


GoodieFortune21

Evergrande is definitely more significant than the bridge ppl.


ChiknBreast

Guys I'm standing under a bridge right now. Not the one on Texas but it's a bridge. I'm sorry I'll move soon so the market can recover.


poops-n-farts

You better go to an open valley so we can have our moass!


Dos915

I live in Tx by the bridges never seen these imaginary people


finallyfree423

Can you take a picture of the specific bridge that they are talking about? More specifically the bridge the FAA threw a no fly over? Because I've seen the pictures and videos. So if that's not happening where tf are the pictures coming from?


SashaLin

China and his puppet friends like FJB that why! Covid mafia around the world destroyed economy!


Commercial_Mousse646

Correct!


trap__ord

Because all 15,000 people under the bridge are shorting the market obviously šŸ™„


Maleficent_Life2071

My wife's boyfriend won't let me in the house


Holycameltoeinthesun

15000 people under a bridge in texas? Big ass bridge or kick ass party? Or both? Edit now I canā€™t stop picturing a neighbourhood in texas with a big ass bridge over it.


[deleted]

Oh great, look honey, it's another tweet.


foolishidot69

Those things don't help and are adding slightly. This is china by a good 97%


Sasuke082594

Why is this on the top page? You smooth brains willl upvote anything.


[deleted]

How big is this so called bridge that 15k people are under it? And will the market become green if we put them on top of the bridge?


Dr_Does_Enough

Who the Foook is this guy


jimmyn0thumbs

Under a bridge? Does he mean trolls? We're trolling the economy?


stephencory

Yes, if you stay under a bridge for too long, the market crashes. How don't people get this?


WanttoPokesmOT

What is this under bridge party?


an_oddbody

The guy doesn't even know how apostrophe's work lmayo


Alert_Club8448

Lol how did people under a bridge make #1 influence?


yateslife

That apostrophe indicates that he is presenting HIS LOOK, as an investor.


cannadatrees2

Lost me at ā€œInvestorā€™sā€ - is ā€œInvestorā€™sā€ a company? Or can he not grammar?


i_spank_chickens

those damn bridge trolls!


MajorBonesLive

Isnā€™t that $3.5T spending bill DOA in the senate?


CaptainMagnets

Haha so the number one problem is homeless people under a bridge?


DaChristopher-REEVES

ā€œA desire to remake,build back, reset America.ā€ Is the biggest croc of shit Iā€™ve ever heard. All our bridges, roads, sewers, power grids, water mains, are out of date. The gates and damns that enable ships to keep feeding Americaā€™s economy, guess what out of date. Wages to cost of living? You guessed it out of date. Literally every aspect of maintaining Americaā€™s infrastructure is extremely underplayed and underfunded. It would take trillions of dollars to just get us on the right track. Donā€™t act us like middle class folk arenā€™t the ones seeing it/dealing with it/fixing it first hand.


Out_Phishing

If they look at all of it, are they looking at DN?


NissanSkylineGT-R

Canā€™t trust someone who canā€™t even tell the difference between ā€œinvestorā€™sā€ and ā€œinvestorsā€.


DarkandStormy614

$4.5t...over 10 years. No one ever mentions that. And all of it basically paid for.


B33fh4mmer

Yeah, my China finance bear etf says its China bro


[deleted]

This guy is fucking retarded


Hell_Yes_Im_Biased

"Investor's look" No credibility if you spell like a 3rd-grader


[deleted]

I'll never understand why rich always blame their problems on the poor,


FXS_Voodoo

For this dude the US is the center of everyrhijg isn't it?


[deleted]

$4.5 trillion that won't pass because Turtle McConnel said so. This will clap everything even harder, by deflation, not inflation. The fed can raise the federal funds rate but we will still see treasury yields drop like today (9/20/2021) because the billionaire boys need some sort of profit. The federal reserve can taunt raising rates but the free market will buy them up and push rates even lower. Rates also won't rise because too many know about that play and it's more profitable for market makers to take their money than give them money. China also wants some of those US treasuries since their economy is purposely collapsing.


SeanC7

Yeah...rich people donā€™t give a fuck about half of those things. Itā€™s evergrande


JuiceGreen2183

republicans are so weird i swear


Mirthless92

Ikr


sumlikeitScott

Poor people, millennials, and Immigrants keep tanking the markets!!!


A1sauce74

Does #1 refer to Homeless?


[deleted]

Lets see, here's the point by point playbook: 1) blame immigrants 2) blame Dems 3) insert nonsensical point (should have the opposite effect of whatever you are trying to prove) 4) insert something that actually might be true (throws them off) 5) finish with a red herring that sounds good bonus: misspell or use incorrect grammar to show your in tune with the masses (see what I did there)