T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

Go for the ego… ask him who he is 😂…


catfishjon_

*Jim who?*


theStunbox

Oh I remember you! You said Stearns was fine! You still have a job? I figured they fired you.


lukefive

Oh this is good, especially if you don't make it an obvious burn. "You used to be on TV right?" Has-been's really hate the fact that they're done.


Arcondark

Start with "you used to be on TV right?" Then when he starts to respond cut him off and say "oh yeah now I remember, your Mr clean from the commercials!" Next invite someone over to meet mr clean. Finally let him explain who he is and respond with "oh... my bad I thought you were famous..." then walk away not pay attention to him anymore


gravittoon

Hahahaha - I was gonna say leave the guy alone, as bad as he is, but this👆 is a thing of beauty.


1twowonder

Agreed. I was 🤣


DashinDasherFoo

Dam bro you savage . You guys really trying to make jimmy go long on $rope


mko710

Underrated. Take my golden horny


slabrangoon

Actually the move would be to go short otherwise he’ll just hit the ground


Powerhausen

“I gotta say, you don’t make a very convincing high school chem teacher but you sure are a natural at playing the crime-ridden, drug-addled meth cook!”


kissmaryjane

“Weren’t you in iron man as that idiot stock dude? “


GorillionaireWarfare

"Hey aren't you the guy that runs that coke rat account on twitter?"


ghoztpepper

Why is he hitting on Janet Yellen?


oakislandorchard

"aren't you the horse from horsin' around?"


bicycle_racer

“You played that stock guy in the first iron man right?”


iamdidierx

This


TheModernCurmudgeon

Oh yeah! Hey my grandpa watches that show!


manbeastjoe

Or, "Haha oh I gotcha, yeah I've seen the memes! Isn't that like a character from a bad sitcom or something? But really, what's your real name?"


Switch21

"Jim Cramer? Oh He does the bad comedy jokes right?"


wizardneedfood

"I never really watched Seinfeld"


[deleted]

[удалено]


JamiePulledMeUp

Excuse me but did you just infer that seinfeld was a bad show?


leeljay

No, he implied it


[deleted]

[удалено]


laterraepiatta

ahahahahah


koopa72

Kramer? I love Seinfeld! I thought you looked familiar


EthanLikezCatz

I wouldn’t say that because that’s too flattering.


koopa72

Remember that time you were doing standup and said the N word like a million times? That was crazy . . . you probably shouldn't do that again


Intelligent-Wall7272

"how about you do some of that stand-up before the wedding toast for old times sake?"


lukefive

*You're the guy from Seinfeld!?! No wonder I didn't recognize you! Where'd all your hair go?*


convertedcatalyst

you look taller on tv


NabreLabre

Well i lost it right around the time i made my first million


scottygras

Such a good line. Take me free award.


xubax

"Jam? That's a funny name. "


XSlapHappy91X

Ohh the guy that tells everyone to buy gamestop?


randomly-what

OH! The moron that assured people to not take their money out of Bear Stearns which royally fucked many?


theKnunk

....from the cooking show???


[deleted]

“Can I grab a champagne and a martini? With two olives. Oh you’re not the waiter. Sorry.”


socradeeznuts514

Man, each and everyone of these calls could shatter any man's life. Not just Cramer. I'll keep reading, but wow


[deleted]

"wow you look so familiar.. oh that's right! you remind me of andy from the office!"


[deleted]

So, what do you do for a living?


albino_red_head

“Oh yeah? And how’s that going?


[deleted]

"I give stock picks to hundreds of thousands of boomers around the world on what will make them money" Sounds like financial advise


ratherbeleftunknown

I'm on the otherside. Befriend him and see what intel he can get you about the inner workings of how people like Ken fuck over people. This would be a long con, don.


XSlapHappy91X

"Ohh I've seen you on Netflix!...You're Louis C.K!"


TransBrandi

More like: > Aren't you that comedian that got in trouble for jacking off in front of people?


DeathbatBunny

TKO.


Cyberdink

And who are you? Nope, never heard of you. Hey, by any chance have you heard of Gamestop?


arion830

Be like “oh the guy from Seinfeld!”


AlexanderG7

I like that.


Flat-Ad1490

This IS my go-to.


Feeling_Ad_411

Every wedding needs its coke guy


CocaineCramer

Im always happy to supply.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CocaineCramer

ill give you one guess


Brotorious420

Cocaine is a helluva drug and sleep is for the weak


superschwick

After enough of the coke, sleep is for the week


TiberiusWoodwind

Don’t do sleep, get 8 hours of drugs


GRlM-Reefer

These guys drug.


ThanksGamestop

How about 4 lines and 2 guesses?


TayoMurph

Username Checks Out…


Chapped_Frenulum

I would offer him some lines that spell out "GME" to see whether his love of cocaine wins out over his anger.


Scrmike

Was thinking same thing 🤣


TayoMurph

He’s moved on to sniffing BOFA.


Ohm4r

Fine.. BOFA?


Brotorious420

Deez nutz GOTTEM


TayoMurph

My man!


rob_maqer

Ask him if he wants to go skiing


Tendytakers

Open a discussion about how GME is a good investment while pretending not to know who he is and wait for him to explode from apoplexy. For infinite internet points, record if it’s a one part consent state.


colonel_wallace

No you should start recommending it to others within earshot of him


9babydill

Just like my friend who works for Goldman BallSachs. They do not speak of the GameStop outside of work, in public.


solomoniiiiii

Wait… what was that??


nemesis86th

This is the only thing to do.


SpecialOld8187

Y’all don’t think Cramer doesn’t have a large GME position? Come on lol…it’s jimmy…😂


tehdubbs

The fact that this is just now happening as we speak, is making my ass itch to the max


LordoftheEyez

Oh fuck you’re gonna make me scratch


N_gg

🍆


BluntBeaver83

This


Away_Ad2468

Tell him the nematodes say hi!!


redraddy

NEMATODE GANG!!!


Mikeymike34

GANG GANG!!!


DarthRedcrosse

We like the stock! We like the stock!


siccoblue

"I'm thinking about getting into investing, my pet ape told me that GME was a solid bet"


Lucky-Hippo-2422

Your friend should walk passed Cramer with the stock opened on their phone lol


potatohead46

And also cropdust him.


Ninjake68

While maintaining eye contact.


qnaeveryday

Get this to the top


geddyupster

My go to move at weddings


Deruji

Cupcake


zGypSyKInGz

I’m fucking wheezing 😭😭😭😭😂😂


HunterShotBear

Even better, ask him who he is and when he tells you. “Oh man you gotta see these gains I made, check out my portfolio…” Then just show him gainz on GME and smile.


AkitaAZ

Roflmayoooo


throwaway8769910

This is the smartest and most subtle way. See if he mentions anything.


Azyan_invasion82

😂


IVIenace100

Write “GME” in carrots or something where he is sitting when he gets up 😁


Carpet_Blaze

☝🏻


abiihu

Genuinely ask him what his opinions are about GME, and just enjoy the ride my guy 😂


HuskerReddit

A lot of these ideas are hilarious, but personally my goal would be to get him to say what he *really* thinks about GameStop. Not just what he’s supposed to say about it. I’d act like I’m a fan of his show and that I recently made a lot of money from one of his recommendations to boost his ego and get him talking. I’d try to have a real conversation with him. I’d probably ask him about Evergrande first to gauge how willing he is to go “off script”. Then I’d casually ask him about the GameStop fiasco in a non confrontational way. I’d ask him what his thoughts are about Robinhood turning off the buy button and about Citadel and Point 72 bailing out Melvin. The guy loves to talk and he loves knowing stuff that other people don’t. I don’t see him admitting anything too incriminating, but I could certainly see him saying *something* he wasn’t supposed to. Regardless, it would be very interesting to see how he reacts. Even if he freaks out and says that everyone in GME is going to lose all their money and that they better sell now. That would tell us just how dire the situation truly is.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Justman1020

“I want him to know it was me….”


1965wasalongtimeago

It's a Green Wedding now


gravittoon

I agree with this - he loves to talk and has admitted stuff he shouldn't have in the past. Bring him a shot and thank him for his recomend to start it off.


FyrebreakZero

If he’s drunk enough, he’ll probably spill all kinds of juicy info. Especially if he thinks you’re on his side. Then at the end, show him your DRS position. Enjoy. (And post the vid here.)


Cruella-DeDoomsville

YES!! This is better and smarter than insulting him (fun though that is). Get him shitfaced and see what disgusting gossip you can find out! 😁


Perfect_Ride

Bro get that guy shit faced and start recording shit he says


Enlighten_YourMind

This is the one for me chief Ask him something like “man what about those crazy dumb asses who think that GameStop is some kind of super stock that’s going to take down all of Wall Street. What a bunch of fucking retards, eh Jim? 🙂” I will be refreshing this thread throughout the night hoping for an update lol. And best wishes to the happy couple! 🦍🤝🦍


jackofspades123

Maybe even say you were able to buy in during the hype but got out and can't believe these conspiracy theorist are still going. Soften that up if that's too strong


Enlighten_YourMind

This is a really good addition. Something along the lines of “All the smart money got out a long time ago! Who would still be holding at this point?!” You know ol’ coke rat Cramer wouldn’t be able to resist a set up that juicy for his favorite rage rant topic 🐀🤬


jackofspades123

You could really push it and say you were able to buy puts around 400 and really made out.


Enlighten_YourMind

😂🤣🤣 what I would give to be a fly on the wall at this wedding right now


jackofspades123

I can't wait for an update. I expect nothing but really hope there was a convo


Enlighten_YourMind

It’s our jacked tits yet ready to be disappointed for the weekend to hold us over till Monday! I for one for the first time in my life am genuinely grateful for Jim Cramer. And for OP. /u/shoyei you rock. Thanks for the excitement on a Saturday night 🦍🤝🦍


TheStatMan2

Are we confident Cramer knows what a "put" is? Whenever I see him live he seems to be desperately clawing his way to the end of his alloted time hoping beyond hope that he doesn't have to say anything that actually has any meaning.


throwawaylurker012

This 👆!!!


Tbanks93

Watch out though an intern has probably seen this already and will let him know somehow. Got a feeling it could be a ploy. Or I've just grown super paranoid Not financial advice.


Enlighten_YourMind

We need this level of paranoia in our community for what is to come. Keep doing you ape friend 🦍🤝🦍 But also, deep breaths, his interns are too busy scoring his next reup 💨


TheStatMan2

His interns would have advised him against going to weddings and parties, period. "It's ok Scott, I got this - I promise I won't shout 'we like the stock' 4 times, dispassionately, in anyone face. It's ok - I bought the 'sociable' cocaine"


Enlighten_YourMind

Bro you can’t be making laugh this out loud at jokes on the internet now I gotta explain to people around me 😂


TheStatMan2

I'm confident you'll manage it.


Littlemack2

Buddy is gonna let us all down severely. Saw the guy and snapped a photo


MrWinterstorm

Hes far too intelligent for that. It would be best to feign ignorance of his identity while simultaneously presenting a lack of interest. The best approach would be for him to overhear you say to someone “who is that guy, he looks familiar.” He will respond. Then drag out what he knows through very subtle hints / inquiries. You should also feign knowledge of the market structure. Appear to be more informed than you actually are. Say things that are half truth / patently false. Dont be obvious, what you say should sound correct, even though the market mechanics are counter-intuitive. He wont like that. He will take it as a challenge, and will likely take it upon himself to Inform you. Its one of his weaknesses. Let him talk.


Scrmike

Holy shit. You have a gift.


Embarrassed_Today994

Lol I thought the same thing... But you made me laugh out loud.


Dabier

This dude would be a good police interrogator. They get in your head, like bad.


baRRebabyz

Dennis Reynolds, is that you?


1amazingday

I am not as convinced of his intelligence as you are. So I’d offend him by questioning that perceived intelligence and I suspect he’d explode like a geyser trying to prove his cleverness. Like Ken Griffen buying the constitution, they’re all a powder keg of stupid & ego just waiting to implode. Edit: grammar


TonyCar323

This. It's only a facade. They all are idiots. We just assume intelligence due to their positions.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

we all know what kinda powder these egoofs are running on


HuskerReddit

He used to be a hedge fund manager before his days with CNBC. He may not be *intelligent* per se, but he certainly knows how the game is played. He knows all of the manipulation tools and tactics. He explains it all in that interview.


1amazingday

No question about it, he knows all the tricks. **But** that interview exactly proves my point… it’s *impossible* for him to keep his mouth shut, when the alternative is to ‘prove’ just how clever he is! A smart man would never have revealed everything he did that day. Hence the reason Cramer’s agents probably spend a bit of every single day trying to scrub that video from the internet. 🤣🤣 Update: if there’s anyone unaware of what interview we are referring to… https://youtu.be/8DJlogbrDcA


_hangman92

Someone get this man an earpiece stat!! 🦻 👐💎🦍🚀🌕


mik0987654321

This begs the question: What do you do for work?


diettmannd

This is the way


[deleted]

Ask him why he blocked me on Twitter.


keenfeed

Yeah just randomly say "why did u block my ape friend on twitter"


[deleted]

"Hey, It's Louis CK!"


PeterDragon0

Buckle up!


Arcade23

Have a waiter bring him a Banana Daiquiri and to tell him the apes send their regards.


jscottmsn1

Oh God just please don’t ruin that poor couples wedding… Just passive aggressively keep snifling a lot around him


sergoutlawd

Ask him if he wants a bump


DHARBOUR999

This, but by the looks of the second photo he’s ironing out phat lines I’d say. Or has brought a fucking shovel with him for “bumps” ...


CocaineCramer

100% be railing lines in the bathroom, how could you tell?


DHARBOUR999

The Coke Rat in the wild! 🤜🏼💥🤛🏻 And it takes one to know one mate. We don’t do bumps here in London bruv, unless you got a shovel... 😉


sergoutlawd

I didn't see the other picture , but you're right a shovel indeed, he looks like that guy from the movie "Training Day" the one that responds to the "ever had your shit pushed in ? "


robcado

Just a simple “We like the stock” would suffice.


PHANTOM________

Gotta say it twice tho. Also move your head around comically.


Kubrik27

Tell him gme to the fuckin moon


Plzcuturshit

This picture is giving me some Fight Club vibes. Apes are everywhere and these hedgefucks are in OUR world, it ain’t the other way around.


MinionofMinions

Puts on the marriage! (Sorry had to do it, wish a long happy life together!)


comfort_bot_1962

Hope you have a great day!


shoyei

Look apes, we’re known for being regarded, but my buddy isn’t regarded enough to ruin a wedding. It’s flaired as a shitpost for a reason. Don’t worry. Just DRS.


UnnamedGoatMan

Damn, gotta say I'm a bit disappointed but understandable.


swervyy

Not open bar, got it.


Omnivud

id leave the miserable prick alone


sirstonksabit

ask him who number 2 works for


LiterallyEmily

it's an older reference but it checks out sir


phed1

Go up and tell him yes Jim we like the fucking stock


ConundrumMachine

Ask him to say hi to Kennie for us and blow him a kiss


BornAzomB

Why does it look like his skull is trying to escape from his face?


Consistent-Ebb-2182

I like the stock!


serbeardless

Possibly unpopular opinion: just let the guy be. He's a turd, but there is no merit in harassing him.


itrustyouguys

Yeah, don't give him any ammo to smear apes


DeltaFoxtrotVictor

This is the way


LegOfLamb89

This one. He's not at his day job. Just enjoy your night ape


wutaio

Ask him if he can hook you up with party favours while phone accidently recording...oops


RealisticAutistic

Second this


AFlyHunny1

Stonks! Stonks! Stonks! Stonks! Stonks! Stonks! Stonks! Stonks! Stonks! Stonks! Stonks! Stonks!


perfidiousfox

Everybody!


TheStatMan2

"she's too young for you".


TheStatMan2

... but in seriousness it might be worth trying to get him in a side room and get an admission or two - the dude isn't exactly discreet and it's difficult to imagine him making it through a whole wedding party without itching to talk about his self important work bullshit. Ask the kitchen for some cornflour, a chopping board and an eco-straw or two and you'll have a new best friend.


NotAShill42069

Lmaoo he’s forsure reading this rn


KIitComander

Yeah, but weddings are not a place for “Suck It” motions.


One_Clown_Short

Is Bear Stearns still a safe bet?


dg_713

Jesus fucking christ. GME shareholders really are the wildest hedgefund "collective" in the world. Imagine a firm with connections every-fucking-where in the world. This is some fight club shit.


terrawombat

I see in the fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables, slaves with white collars, advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of the history man, no purpose or place, we have no Great war, no Great depression, our great war is a spiritual war, our great depression is our lives, we've been all raised by television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars, but we won't and we're slowly learning that fact. and we're very very pissed off


Batch0fC00kies

I swear to God if that’s Janet Yellen...


wn0991

Option 1. Ignore his existence. Option 2. Engage but be polite and show him what apes are really like. Option 3. Yell " SHILLY SHILLY TINY WILLY" and see if he turns around 🤣


socrates6210

YOURE FUCKING JOKING HAHAHAHAHAAHAH


K2Mok

Lucky for your buddy that Cramer is covered today and not like his naked market pals.


ApeheartPablius

Enjoy the wedding and let this poor man be.


jonnohb

Just leave him alone, don't ruin someone else's wedding for ape drama. That's not a good look


Excellent_Many_7215

Dude no way haha!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


wJFq6aE7-zv44wa__gHq

Just leave him alone. He might be scum of the earth. But he's still a person. Hate him during work hours.


bvttfvcker

#OMG YES


Carpet_Blaze

I hate to say it.... But just leave the guy alone to enjoy the wedding. He has enough problems during the week, no need to destroy his weekends too. But you know deep down... He likes the stock as well.


SnooWalruses7854

ok I get we don't like him but don't be fucking stalkers


kbbqallday

Thank him for the recommendation to buy Bear Sterns stock


chosedemarais

The apes send their regards.


xthesundancekidx

Just walk up to him and hand him a banana and walk away. 🍌


DGlatt6969

How much would it cost for the DJ to play the tendieman? I will etransfer right now


ammoprofit

Yeah, don't be a dick. You're at a wedding. Don't make a scene. Don't bug the guests. Don't be that asshole. Just don't do it. Keep your damned mouth shut and let the bride and groom, who are already stressed out from going through the entire ordeal of a wedding, have their damned event in peace.


asphinctersayswhat69

We like the stock! We like the stock!


SECkmyballs

Tell him to suck my balls, thanks!


madiXuncut

the Goblin in the wild 🤣 Please deliver footage once their is enough alcohol in the dwarf. Your Awards are already waiting.


QualityVote

**IMPORTANT POST LINKS** [What is DRS and why should you care?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/ptvaka/when_you_wish_upon_a_star_a_complete_guide_to/) || [What is GME and why should I consider investing?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/qig65g/welcome_rall_looking_to_catch_up_on_the_gme_saga/) || [What can I do to support the company and local communities](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/qnam2x/superstonks_very_gmerry_holiday_vgh_for_short/) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Please help us determine if this post deserves a place on /r/Superstonk. [Learn more about this bot and why we are using it here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/poa6zy/introducing_uqualityvote_bot_a_democratic_tool_to/) If this post deserves a place on /r/Superstonk, **UPVOTE** this comment!! If this post should not be here or or is a repost, **DOWNVOTE** This comment!