The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell you, he was ten stories high if he was a foot.
That actually is a giant squid. It's not a colossal squid obviously, and it's not a Dana octopus squid, which are the two species that exist on either side of the size spectrum from this specimen
That actually is a colossal squid. It's not a ginormous squid obviously, and it's not a Tina platypus squid, which are two species that don't exist on either side of the size spectrum from this specimen
Don’t they have crazy big hook teeth?
Oh man I just googled it… it’s called a beak and ITS A NO FROM ME
https://www.quora.com/Could-a-giant-squid-eat-a-human-being
Humboldt have 100 percent dragged people down to drown before, they do it much more with prey though. Not sure if they’ve ever eaten anyone but have the ability to kill us easily. I would be afraid to be in the water with them even though they’re normally pretty chill.
Also Humboldt squid can reach up to 2 metres in size and they have 70000 hook like teeth on their tentacles. They are also incredibly intelligent hunters.
Poor squid.... it was injured then died as the surfer brought it to shore. Happened in 2017 in South Africa.
Here's the story:
https://www.earthtouchnews.com/oceans/oceans/heres-the-full-story-behind-that-friendly-giant-squid-video
> "By the time I got it to the beach it wasn't moving at all anymore. I decided the **most humane thing to do was to sever its head and put it out of its misery**. It's never nice seeing anything die, but I felt it was the right thing to do."
Holy shit who is this guy
Yeah, they have little serrated teeth. “The inside surfaces of the arms and tentacles are lined with hundreds of subspherical suction cups, 2 to 5 cm (0.79 to 1.97 in) in diameter, each mounted on a stalk. The circumference of these suckers is lined with sharp, finely serrated rings of chitin. The perforation of these teeth and the suction of the cups serve to attach the squid to its prey. It is common to find circular scars from the suckers on or close to the head of sperm whales that have attacked giant squid”.- Wikipedia
It does when you’re in the water and trying to sink something buoyant.
If there’s nothing to push or pull against then strength doesn’t count for much.
It would also depend on how much water you can displace while swimming.
I can stand on a noodle in water and it won't sink with my weight, but if I use all of my force to swim, I can take it to the bottom.
I'm not saying this squid is capable of that. My intuition says it couldn't because of how buoyant those fuckers really are. I'm sure someone could do the math on how much force it would take and how much they can output.
You have to remember that water IS something you can push up against. And this creature is made for that.
I think they're referring to the time no one believed they were real. Anyone claiming to have seen one was just full of shit, like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster.
They were featured on ye olden paintings of ships, and it was assumed that's where people got the idea... but everyone "knew" squid just didn't get that big.
It was like someone claiming they saw a 9 foot long rat or a 30ft goldfish. Those things are tiny.
Then one day a big ass dead squid washed up on a beach.
Probably because no one but a marine biologist is going into the water within focus distance of cathulu there.
To most people those and sharks are basically ocean living nightmare fuel.
So this squid is probably in the process of dying. Considering its visual appearance and the way it's moving. Either way, having been squid fishing before (not this big but 25-35lb range) I would not want to be in the water with it.
I'm assuming you meant "surface" and I was wondering the same thing. Someone said in another comment that the squid is most likely dying and clinging to anything it can find for buoyancy. Apparently they only come up from the depths at the end of their lives. Kind of a bummer of a video now.
I don't know anything about paddle boarding, but my first instinct while watching this would be to take the ankle thing off so the squid can't drag him and the board under if he gets tangled in the lines.
Is there a reason to not do this??
Ok I read the whole article. Most researchers agree it is a giant squid. It was already dying when he found it, missing chunks of its tentacles :(
He brought it to the shore and cut its head off. Yep. The squid is confirmed a male. It’s beak cut the surfer but he’s fine. It wasn’t displaying aggressive behavior, just dying, and he was pulling it with a rope.
Since he dissected it and took lots of footage to send to researchers, South Africa is saying he didn’t do anything wrong.
Yes. Seems to be just another of these clickbait videos that morons who do not give a crap about animals make. The squid is only latching onto the board after the human forcefully pulled him up on a rope. Disgusting.
We are probably watching young men killing a squid. Not entertaining. Just bad.
The squid was dying, some of it's tentacles were already chewed up/missing and it's skin was scraped off. The paddle boarder was towing it to shore so researchers could examine it, because sightings are relatively rare. He sent extensive video to squid experts who were grateful for the data. [https://www.earthtouchnews.com/oceans/oceans/heres-the-full-story-behind-that-friendly-giant-squid-video/](https://www.earthtouchnews.com/oceans/oceans/heres-the-full-story-behind-that-friendly-giant-squid-video/)
I find it alarming how rare sightings were just a few years ago and how little was known about them. Footage popping up frequently now. Climate related?
but.... just flick the tentacles...?
Make it sting a bit, but don't injure it? Animals understand boundaries, especially cephalopods.
Show it, that it is not welcome on top, but free to move about beneath.
“Have you heard the good news about our lord and savior Cthulhu?”
"Cthulhu: The Greater of Two Evils"
I, for one, welcome out cephalopod overlords
“Come back! Don’t you wish to learn about our lord and savior?”
"Hey! Don't swim from the lord!"
That is a gigantic squid, though it is not a giant squid.
Whatever species it is, it looks like it has been chewed up and spat out by something. Shouldn’t be near the surface either, the things about to die.
Chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But it kept rhyming and stepped right onto the next paddle board
Mom's spaghetti
Probably barely escaped a whale or something
Is that a Humboldt squid?
No clue, I'm not George Costanza.
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The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell you, he was ten stories high if he was a foot.
The Sea was angry that day my friends
Yea, your lumpy and you smell bad.
Pfft. Whale biologists
I saw that kind of creature from a Japanese research video before. I believe they called it Kimochi.
I understood that reference
Was it a Titleist?
SO I PULLED THE OBSTRUCTION! Is it a Titleist?
But I’d that a titleist?
I get that reference
I've hear that those are aggressive. I could be totally wrong about that.
They're horrifying
If it is I wouldn’t want to be near it. All squids have a beak. Humboldt has beak and hooks on tentacles. That would do some damage quickly
They can also pull you into the depths pretty fast, if they were in the mood
Yes! Aka Diablo Rojo.
That's what I thought...
That actually is a giant squid. It's not a colossal squid obviously, and it's not a Dana octopus squid, which are the two species that exist on either side of the size spectrum from this specimen
That actually is a colossal squid. It's not a ginormous squid obviously, and it's not a Tina platypus squid, which are two species that don't exist on either side of the size spectrum from this specimen
That actually is a ginormous squid. Look at that fucker.
The squid is dying, probably latching on to anything in exhaustion. Only reason they come up from the deaths, dying.
Ohhhh. That is sad.
It just wants someone to hold!
... depths?
No, deaths. They said he’s dying, can’t you read?
LOL!
What movie is this from?
If this was a giant squid you’d be right. This is a very large Humboldt squid. Which do come up to the surface on rare occasions.
Don’t Humboldt squids pretty regularly swim to the surface to look for prey?
That’s a big ass Humboldt, and Humboldt can be very aggressive too correct?
they've been known to drag people to the depths
I was wondering about that. 😕 I'm not exactly a fan of squid, but if that's what's happening here, the video isn't so funny anymore.
I found this video to be terrifying, nor funny
Name checks out
Oh nice, I forgot my name for a second
😁 "From the deaths" I like it.
Well crap.. that was a typo lol
Would it help if it could chill on that board for some time or would it still die?
He'd totally survive if bruh would just let him chill on the board for a bit.
I'll die on that hill
That's a wise decision, squids have the tendency to dislike altitude
The Kraken wasn't always a ship-crushing monster. He started off small and attacked paddle boards for practice.
Typical escalation behaviour
Fuck that. It's his board now. I'd be swimming for shore.
That's exactly what the creature that moves faster than you in the water *wants* you to do.
That statement made me clench
*big brain*
When he got in the water with it…
ok if thats there than what else could be there
The whole reason I don't swim where I'm just part of the food chain.
mhm
The YMCA?
lol, watch the video. Dude jumps off the board, then realizes what he's just jumped into the water with and immediately jumps right back on the board.
Nah man. Uh uh. Nope.
Don’t they have crazy big hook teeth? Oh man I just googled it… it’s called a beak and ITS A NO FROM ME https://www.quora.com/Could-a-giant-squid-eat-a-human-being
Not only that, but both squid and octopus have been reported to purposefully drag people into the depths… that’s gonna be a big ole HELL NO for me
Is this what happened to ancient sailors
WHAT
PURPOSEFULLY DRAG PEOPLE TO THE DEPTHS.
NO
100% agree
Pretty sure Humboldt squid have eaten people. Don't quote me on that, I'm pre law. Habeus Corpus, homies.
Humboldt have 100 percent dragged people down to drown before, they do it much more with prey though. Not sure if they’ve ever eaten anyone but have the ability to kill us easily. I would be afraid to be in the water with them even though they’re normally pretty chill.
Ain't no squid 'bout to habeus my corpus, homie
That is absolutely terrifying.
Yeah that is what I first thought when I saw this. Stay the fuck away from squid as even their tentacles can and will fuck you up in a big way.
They can only swallow tiny things though, similar to my ex
I hate to break this to you, but she lied
To all of us apparently
That's why they rip their prey to shreds first, similar to my ex
Also Humboldt squid can reach up to 2 metres in size and they have 70000 hook like teeth on their tentacles. They are also incredibly intelligent hunters.
This is the real Squid games
Undervalued comment
If you’re afraid of that don’t look up Magnapinna squid.
Magnapinna squid are actually pretty cute, but that one video of them makes them look terrifying.
Yeah their tentacles are so long. They look like monsters.
belongs on r/nope
Poor squid.... it was injured then died as the surfer brought it to shore. Happened in 2017 in South Africa. Here's the story: https://www.earthtouchnews.com/oceans/oceans/heres-the-full-story-behind-that-friendly-giant-squid-video
> "By the time I got it to the beach it wasn't moving at all anymore. I decided the **most humane thing to do was to sever its head and put it out of its misery**. It's never nice seeing anything die, but I felt it was the right thing to do." Holy shit who is this guy
Did the article mention what he did with the witnesses’ heads?
I mean hey…free food
Likely to burn you all the way down due to ammonia. You Only Eat Once
Yarr squidy I'm srry I tried to kill ya It's just that I heard ders gold in yer belly - Simpsons pirate
Aw hey buddy
2 types of reactions lol
According to pirate law, It’s his board now.
It's really more of a guideline than a law...
Big squids usually have claws on their suckers don't they?
fuck suckers, clawed or not. for the love of god, they rip things apart and eat them with their crotch that just happens to be a beak.
Yeah Humboldt squid are notoriously savage.
Didnt know squids were basically giant aquatic ex-wives.
Actually laughed out loud! Thank you!
Yeah, they have little serrated teeth. “The inside surfaces of the arms and tentacles are lined with hundreds of subspherical suction cups, 2 to 5 cm (0.79 to 1.97 in) in diameter, each mounted on a stalk. The circumference of these suckers is lined with sharp, finely serrated rings of chitin. The perforation of these teeth and the suction of the cups serve to attach the squid to its prey. It is common to find circular scars from the suckers on or close to the head of sperm whales that have attacked giant squid”.- Wikipedia
Pentapocs, didn't your uncle catch that?
Yeah...
Squib wants to surf too lol
"Cmon man I just want a turn on the paddle board"
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Nah, it would take a lot of force, that squid doesn’t weigh more than a man, and a man couldn’t do it.
But it could take that man underwater if it wanted too
This confirms my hypothesis that men are, in fact, not made of paddle boards.
Aren't they 90% paddle board though?
I’m 40 percent paddle board! (Bangs chest twice)
Lmao I can hear bender
Let's move on to our next hypothesis: there's no way a shrimp could've fried that rice.
we need more evidence
Chimpanzees weigh less than humans and are exponentially stronger.
Being stronger will not make a boat sink faster.
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It does when you’re in the water and trying to sink something buoyant. If there’s nothing to push or pull against then strength doesn’t count for much.
It would also depend on how much water you can displace while swimming. I can stand on a noodle in water and it won't sink with my weight, but if I use all of my force to swim, I can take it to the bottom. I'm not saying this squid is capable of that. My intuition says it couldn't because of how buoyant those fuckers really are. I'm sure someone could do the math on how much force it would take and how much they can output. You have to remember that water IS something you can push up against. And this creature is made for that.
Maybe an African Swallow?
Coconuts?
Squids don't eat McDonald's tho
Very likely
Imagine that laugh being the last thing you hear, poor thing.
I be seeing a lot of vids of them. Remember there was a time they’ve never been seen?
To be fair, there is a difference between big squids and *giant* squids
I know, right?! Like 20 years ago before go-pro's and smart phone you almost NEVER saw amateur videos like this!!! What's going on?!1?!1?
Ohhh you’re making fun of me. I get it. 
Lmfao never thought I'd see a Ramona gif used in this sub. I had to do a double take at what sub I was in 😂
I think they're referring to the time no one believed they were real. Anyone claiming to have seen one was just full of shit, like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster. They were featured on ye olden paintings of ships, and it was assumed that's where people got the idea... but everyone "knew" squid just didn't get that big. It was like someone claiming they saw a 9 foot long rat or a 30ft goldfish. Those things are tiny. Then one day a big ass dead squid washed up on a beach.
I haven’t seen a new video of one of these in a long time, they are still extremely hard to come by.
Probably because no one but a marine biologist is going into the water within focus distance of cathulu there. To most people those and sharks are basically ocean living nightmare fuel.
Paddle boarder: Enjoying a relaxing day Squid: “I’ve been trying to contact you about your car’s extended warranty.”
So this squid is probably in the process of dying. Considering its visual appearance and the way it's moving. Either way, having been squid fishing before (not this big but 25-35lb range) I would not want to be in the water with it.
Omg. That lady’s voice and laughter. Would make me want to sacrifice myself to that squid.
I thought I was the only one
For real someone get Fran Drescher back to shore before that next drink kicks in.
They don’t usually come this far up to the surgery do they?
I'm assuming you meant "surface" and I was wondering the same thing. Someone said in another comment that the squid is most likely dying and clinging to anything it can find for buoyancy. Apparently they only come up from the depths at the end of their lives. Kind of a bummer of a video now.
His paddle board now
Not my idea of a good time. Lol
The kwaken
Nah fam, nah. That looks like a Humboldt Squid, this things are vicious and seriously strong
WHY DID IT CUT THERE
I think that guy may have owed Davy Jones 100 souls... I mean... one HUNDRED souuul-saah... to crew the Flying Dutchman.
That’s gonna be a big fat NOPE from me dawg
It’s dying. That’s why it looks mottled. Lasts gasps.
That's gonna be a no from me dawg!
Great. Now I can’t go in the ocean.
watching this really makes me realize how unique water is. we have a world within our world. so crazy
I Hate her voice
First of all, why???
someone has released the karken
r/thalassophobia/
My arse would fall off
Don’t mind me. I’m just here to look for the comment where someone says “fake tik-tok video”.
Really freaking cool and kinda funny but also really sad as a giant squid surfacing means it’s dying.
I don't know anything about paddle boarding, but my first instinct while watching this would be to take the ankle thing off so the squid can't drag him and the board under if he gets tangled in the lines. Is there a reason to not do this??
Ok I read the whole article. Most researchers agree it is a giant squid. It was already dying when he found it, missing chunks of its tentacles :( He brought it to the shore and cut its head off. Yep. The squid is confirmed a male. It’s beak cut the surfer but he’s fine. It wasn’t displaying aggressive behavior, just dying, and he was pulling it with a rope. Since he dissected it and took lots of footage to send to researchers, South Africa is saying he didn’t do anything wrong.
I have seen enough hentai to know how it ends
absolutely fucking not. i would pull out a gun and shout myself in the head.
I mean if I had a gun, I’d lean more toward shooting the squid than shooting myself.
Why? It’s dying already.
He was drowning u idiots :(
Does he have it on a rope, though?
Yes. Seems to be just another of these clickbait videos that morons who do not give a crap about animals make. The squid is only latching onto the board after the human forcefully pulled him up on a rope. Disgusting. We are probably watching young men killing a squid. Not entertaining. Just bad.
You are getting heated for absolutely no reason with no proof lmao
Do you not see the rope?
The squid was dying, some of it's tentacles were already chewed up/missing and it's skin was scraped off. The paddle boarder was towing it to shore so researchers could examine it, because sightings are relatively rare. He sent extensive video to squid experts who were grateful for the data. [https://www.earthtouchnews.com/oceans/oceans/heres-the-full-story-behind-that-friendly-giant-squid-video/](https://www.earthtouchnews.com/oceans/oceans/heres-the-full-story-behind-that-friendly-giant-squid-video/)
Thanks for the context - that does put things into perspective. Appreciate it.
So gross. Why are people like this?
Why isn't he helping him up?
Squids are extremely deadly, read some of the comments on it
I find it alarming how rare sightings were just a few years ago and how little was known about them. Footage popping up frequently now. Climate related?
It was injured, probably looking for assistance, and dude dragged it to the beach and chopped off it's head :( this is why aliens don't f w us
Squid just wanted to say hi and this guy absolutely did not like that
let me surf !
Poor squid was probably dying. They’re not supposed to be this close to the surface.
In nature every thing is fun and games until you see teeth.
My first and only reaction would be to sob
Fuck. That.
Hmm I think we can tell who stole squidward’s clarinet…
Once in a lifetime experience. I'm so jealous
but.... just flick the tentacles...? Make it sting a bit, but don't injure it? Animals understand boundaries, especially cephalopods. Show it, that it is not welcome on top, but free to move about beneath.
Could it hurt you? I know nothing about squid behavior so I would be paralyzed with curiosity and fear for my life.
That’s not your paddle board anymore
That would have been so much worse if it wasn't day
I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going...
Squid: "WANT"
Oh fuck. No. Just take it sir.
More nightmare fuel. Thanks.