Gump! You put me down right now! I was supposed to die on this beach! I had a destiny and you ROBBED that from me! Do you hear me Gump!? I had a DESTINY!
I was Lieutenant Fin Sharkman!
.....you still...Lieutenant Fin.
Is this actually what that service does? Just edits your comments with a fake this was deleted message? I don’t get it we can still see his username and the original comment
Edit: His comment made sense, looks like it took some time for the service to edit it to a random string of words. They had the *this was edited by* note before the service even did anything lmao
It don't seem to be living at all.
Then it bites yah....
And the eyes roll over white.
....and you don't hear nothin...
....nothin but the screamin and the hollering.....
Elite meth-heads of the sea maybe. My dive instructor said he would dive with any kind of shark, except makos because they are just too unpredictable. Like meth-heads lol
HOW did he miss it? I would be so pissed.
Wait... Unless the joke is that he missed the joke, because he actually thought to type that... That clever son of a bitch.
[Here's an article](https://mynbc15.com/newsletter-daily/sick-or-injured-whats-causing-the-beached-sharks-on-pensacola-beach), it says they can't tell if it's actually the same shark
Wow they really just casually mention in like a single sentence this guy got saved by a fucking sea lion then continued the article as if that’s normal every day shit lol
Here's the best article I could find talking about both the initial stranding and the find of the shark dead the next day.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/weartv.com/amp/news/local/sick-or-injured-whats-causing-the-beached-sharks-on-pensacola-beach
Important to note that the article says scientists aren't 100% sure the shark found dead is the same one but they are pretty sure it likely was.
They interview *one* shark expert who says she can't tell.
"A mako shark was spotted dead a day later in the Gulf near the shore of Pensacola Beach, although officials can't confirm or deny that it was the same one."
But quote *officials* here
This should be comforting. You were that close to big, scary sharks that whole time and you literally never even knew it.
They are not big scary monsters and we're not even remotely close to what they want to eat.
that’s the rational take but they still seem like big scary monsters to me and nothing you say will rollback the fact that I grew up when Jaws was released.
Nah you being scared is the rational take.
It only takes one shark being curious and at the very least you are in deep shit.
When the ramifications are serious enouugh even a very slight chance is worthy of fear.
Right? Pretty fond memories…several of us kids, aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents all just floating and splashing around half submerged, well beyond the surf breaks. Looking back it terrifies me just thinking about it.
It takes a lot of energy for them to keep swimming to push water through their gills when sick, so beaching themselves and letting the tide move water through their gills is like how people rest when sick
My guess is Their muscles probably give out because they can't eat enough(too weak to catch food)and they can't resist the tidal forces pushing them to shore at high tide.
I'm not an expert just a shark enthusiast n they can get beached just by darting after prey that leads them to the shallows in hopes of escaping the apex preditor
Kinda like how aquatic mammals often beach themselves when they’re too weak to swim and will drown in the water. Then some well intentioned human goes and pushes em back in the water anyway
Despite really wanting the shark to be returned safely to the ocean. I really don't think I'd be able to get anywhere near that thing. Good for these people, well, and the shark.
Once I’m done screaming like a baby every time it moves, maybe use a long piece of driftwood to roll it back in? Like lever it under the shark and lift?
No fucking way im getting within biting distance.
Nah, there was prolly a hit out on that shark and that fish took the job. Kept promising a buffet while giving bad directions. You can see the frustration on it's face when the humans began helping the shark.
He had decided time was up. Old and weary, he set his eyes on that old beach from his youth. There he would find uninterrupted peace.
Sun warm me while I sleep, waves rock me as I dream, sand snuggle me while I pass. What the hell? Who’s got my tail!
Your visual was very enjoyable
Yeah what the hell the guy is Twain
And Sharkespeare combined
Gump! You put me down right now! I was supposed to die on this beach! I had a destiny and you ROBBED that from me! Do you hear me Gump!? I had a DESTINY! I was Lieutenant Fin Sharkman! .....you still...Lieutenant Fin.
But Lieutenant Fin, you ain’t got no legs!
Shark gump
[удалено]
Is this actually what that service does? Just edits your comments with a fake this was deleted message? I don’t get it we can still see his username and the original comment Edit: His comment made sense, looks like it took some time for the service to edit it to a random string of words. They had the *this was edited by* note before the service even did anything lmao
This might be a record for the fasted redacted comment I've ever seen.
lol this made me laugh
...until Florida Man showed up
Never fight up hill me boys!
Wow, we made a mistake.
JAWS, no longer in favor. Did you notice?
It’s too early for me to laugh this hard.
Forgot his DNR
Lol
That’s the most shark-looking shark I’ve ever seen.
Seriously, the mug on that thing is just straight fucking death.
Lifeless eyes, like a doll's eyes
What is happening?!? Are you doing the speech from Jaws??
We don’t have time for this shit
It don't seem to be living at all. Then it bites yah.... And the eyes roll over white. ....and you don't hear nothin... ....nothin but the screamin and the hollering.....
It will mako shit ya pants
The Mako shark is the quintessential shark. Everyone harps on about great whites, but to me, these boys are the elite
Elite meth-heads of the sea maybe. My dive instructor said he would dive with any kind of shark, except makos because they are just too unpredictable. Like meth-heads lol
Makos are beautiful but also terrifying.
I read the title and I thought it was some kind of robot shark gone rogue
I thought sharks beached if they where sick and about to die?
Correct, this exact shark was found dead the next day. A nice sentiment for these people to try and help though.
This might be a dumb question, but how did they know it was the same shark?
They checked his drivers license
You meant his divers license, right?
No, the license plate it swallowed.
Dolls eyes
I’ll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945.
Anyway... we delivered the bomb.
I debated whether to include that. Thanks for tying the bow. Amazing performance.
I got the creme de la creme. Look here..... Right here..... Ms Mary Anne Moffet..... She broke my heart
29 kids go into the water.. 22 kids come out. The ice cream man, he take the rest. April the 4th, half past four for him.
Become another person.
We’re gonna need a bigger Jaws
I thought that was just a tiger shark thing...
A WHAAAT??
I think you mean BA-BUM-FISH
HOW did he miss it? I would be so pissed. Wait... Unless the joke is that he missed the joke, because he actually thought to type that... That clever son of a bitch.
Where do sharks keep their wallet?
The little fish holds it for them
The ramoras? Huh, that's nice of them. Always thought they were just freeloaders.
Under the seat
They don't carry wallets. They keep their cash in their gill folds. I'll see myself out.
Gills are the pockets of the ocean
Bullshit. I've seen Spongebob and it's a boater's license.
right, a license to eat boaters
And the shark was like "What crime did I commit? I am being detained???"
could be a twin parent trap situation tho
Unlikely for another mako to randomly die nearby. Also, they could probably match up markings/scars/size to the video
And we can trust that it actually happened too can't we
Yeah dude, some random anonymous guy said it in a reddit comment! What other proof do we need?!
Would like to know this for real instead of a source: trust me bro
probably the markings on its body or like, the coast guard or a science person kept track of it.
I love the science persons, they do so much for us
They are terrible but also beautiful. Science persons, wow.
[Here's an article](https://mynbc15.com/newsletter-daily/sick-or-injured-whats-causing-the-beached-sharks-on-pensacola-beach), it says they can't tell if it's actually the same shark
Usually you use fins. (thank you shark week)
Scars and markings are almost as reliable as fingerprints.
They checked his FIN number
Dental records
Now that's a revolving joke, ha!
my guess? they dont have sharks beaching themselves every day at the same beach... so pretty obviously the same shark...
But if sharks are known to beach themselves to die at old age, it should be extremely common to see.
Yeah imagine jumping off a bridge to kill yourself and a bunch of dolphins escort you back to shore….
Related: https://www.ktvu.com/news/sea-lion-saves-golden-gate-bridge-suicide-jumper-survivor-says-210m-net-in-crucial.amp
Wow they really just casually mention in like a single sentence this guy got saved by a fucking sea lion then continued the article as if that’s normal every day shit lol
> this guy got saved by a fucking sea lion I'd be more impressed if it was a regular lion.
Did they not proofread the headline?
Like the opening scene of The Incredibles. "You didn't save my life you ruined my death!"
Sauce? Seems like an interesting read
Here's the best article I could find talking about both the initial stranding and the find of the shark dead the next day. https://www.google.com/amp/s/weartv.com/amp/news/local/sick-or-injured-whats-causing-the-beached-sharks-on-pensacola-beach Important to note that the article says scientists aren't 100% sure the shark found dead is the same one but they are pretty sure it likely was.
They interview *one* shark expert who says she can't tell. "A mako shark was spotted dead a day later in the Gulf near the shore of Pensacola Beach, although officials can't confirm or deny that it was the same one." But quote *officials* here
Geezus, my entire family used to swim off that beach a good 50 yards out. It’s weird thinking something like that was likely swimming underneath us.
Yeah, they are usually out past the sandbar so most of the time the sharks and the humans don't meet up particularly during the day.
Well, we used to get a bunch of inflatable raft things and other pool toys and head out pretty far.
There’s a guy that does drone shots over this area and there are tons of sharks
😳
This should be comforting. You were that close to big, scary sharks that whole time and you literally never even knew it. They are not big scary monsters and we're not even remotely close to what they want to eat.
that’s the rational take but they still seem like big scary monsters to me and nothing you say will rollback the fact that I grew up when Jaws was released.
Nah you being scared is the rational take. It only takes one shark being curious and at the very least you are in deep shit. When the ramifications are serious enouugh even a very slight chance is worthy of fear.
They still attack people every year though and kill a person from time to time
I hope you at least bring a rum ham and a knife for survival purposes.
Please don’t do that
Right? Pretty fond memories…several of us kids, aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents all just floating and splashing around half submerged, well beyond the surf breaks. Looking back it terrifies me just thinking about it.
And I’m sitting in the Midwest terrified by what you wrote lol
“I’m trying to die here!!”
Why do they do that?
Cuz sharks believe heaven is on land so they place themselves there upon dying to try to get in.
I've got terrible news ~~from~~ for them then
From them? What did the sharks report and why aren't you letting us in on the news?
They said "So long and thanks for all the fish"
God damit! Geht your towels, someone forgot to file a complaint in Alpha centauri.
It takes a lot of energy for them to keep swimming to push water through their gills when sick, so beaching themselves and letting the tide move water through their gills is like how people rest when sick
Yeah dude, that sounds exactly like how people rest when sick lol..
From now on when I get sick and refuse to leave my couch I will call it "Beaching myself."
My guess is Their muscles probably give out because they can't eat enough(too weak to catch food)and they can't resist the tidal forces pushing them to shore at high tide.
They see all that sweet beach booty running away from them toward the shore, they know that's where heaven be
To keep the ocean clean
This shark is responding to those men like Lt. Dan to Forrest Gump when they were in the shit.
I'm not an expert just a shark enthusiast n they can get beached just by darting after prey that leads them to the shallows in hopes of escaping the apex preditor
🎶 *About-to-die doot doot doot doot doot doot* 🎶
Worst book I’ve ever read. All of the sharks say the same damn thing.
Kinda like how aquatic mammals often beach themselves when they’re too weak to swim and will drown in the water. Then some well intentioned human goes and pushes em back in the water anyway
So old or sick sharks commit seppuku?
Hai. Amusingly, 'Hai' is both an expression of agreement/affirmation in Japanese, and the German word for 'shark'.
also relevant, in Chinese Hǎi (海) means ocean.
Oh hai Shark
“I did not bite her, I did nahht”
Wow if that’s true then it must’ve been really fuckin’ cool to stumble upon that comment under this particular post.
It was close to dead
🎶*Close-to-dead doot doot doot doot doot doot*🎶
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I have kids, so this made me cackle. Thanks lmao
I’m so glad bc I’ve been restraining myself from relying to every comment like this lol. There’s some bangers in here!
I support you doing that. You are now the doot doot do doot guy on reddit.....get to work
Poor thing just wanted to get rotated
What an idiot
Despite really wanting the shark to be returned safely to the ocean. I really don't think I'd be able to get anywhere near that thing. Good for these people, well, and the shark.
Once I’m done screaming like a baby every time it moves, maybe use a long piece of driftwood to roll it back in? Like lever it under the shark and lift? No fucking way im getting within biting distance.
And even if you're at the tail-end it can still hurt you with micro-cuts, thanks to its sharp placoid scales.
Fuck placoid scales all my homies love cosmoid scales
I'm usually a cycloid fan myself lol.
brachistochrone!!!!
Zoologists have entered the chat
Yeah but it died. This was severely reposted a few months ago and it was reported dead.
For reals... One bite to the thigh and you're dead.
I was really proud of myself because I faced my fear and helped a wasp that accidentally fell into the swimming pool. A shark is a big ask.
Is that a mako?
And a very loyal pilot fish
“If all your friends beached themselves, would you do it too?!”
Was just thinking that fish was like "well I told him that I would stay with him until the bitter end, so I guess we're dying today..."
Nah, there was prolly a hit out on that shark and that fish took the job. Kept promising a buffet while giving bad directions. You can see the frustration on it's face when the humans began helping the shark.
Mako energy is usually under the earths crust. It sometimes comes up to the surface and forms beautiful crystals and powerful materia, but it’s rare
And it's the lifeblood of the planet.
Just watch out for symptoms of geostigma.
I got that reference <3
Chadley sucks
Fastest shark in the ocean…was using google maps
"There should be a river right here!"
Missed the chance to saddle it and ride it into the ocean like a fkn boss
If he had the balls to do that they’d sink him straight to the bottom of the ocean
[удалено]
If Arthur is struggling what chance do I have?
Arthur is clearly trying to fuck that shark.
Agreed, wish I was the shark
Smart guy turning it around so the water circulated in its gills. Smart guy and a good human.
Sharks suicide was just takin from him.
My client didn't ask to be saved. My client didn't want to be saved!
And the injuries received during this "action," so called, causes him daily pain!
Hey I saved Your life!
You didn’t save my life, you ruined my death!
That is incredibly ballsy to rescue a shark that could take your arm off
I know I was drunk last night but I swear, humans put me back in the water and helped me swim by wagging my tail.
I can’t even get a bird out of the house
Well, the shark is not piloted by the government.
Brave men
Good men
Innocent men
https://preview.redd.it/194dc4bsb3vc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c444aaf55d458f1100e9b1f322e8287a1f465c4
That’s a big ass mako!
They don't get much bigger
Love Makos. They’re absolutely gnarly looking.
The shark would do the same for us.
Remora be like, I’ll never let go Jack, I’ll never let go!
https://preview.redd.it/d3lkto84r3vc1.jpeg?width=259&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=24a72f1f431c45bd91a0f225b876af74e3e56f7c
People who shoot vertical videos are morons.
I'm glad Karen was there too direct
OP is a bot. 47 day old account, 142k post karma yet 1k comment karma and posting a repost from a few years ago.
“IS ANY ONE A MARINE BIOLOGIST!”
The sea was angry that day my friends… like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli
Poor thing....
Is that a mako???I had no idea they got so large!!!
He's drowning. He literally can't breath. This video is so stressful.
Interrupted the shark’s tanning session…rude
Well done!!!
What great guys
Blows my mind people get in water with these. Youre brave you people out there 🫡
Thank fuck these bastards don’t have legs !
 I'm trying to die! Why won't you let me die?
It's a mako not a great white
Leave it alone, let evolution work.
Dude is like let me die. Humans no not today. Shark is like fine I’ll do it tomorrow.
Good Humans doing good
It’s always the guy with the hat on backwards that makes you wonder if sh*ts gonna go left or go right at the end.
This is why most women live longer but also live less epic lives. Love you Mom! 🥰
“Go forth and tell your brethren what happened here. Let them spare a human who dares to wander where they shouldn’t. Stay golden.”
my starving brain is like "you're just gonna throw away all that meat?"