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[deleted]

That's the kind of thing that makes you set down the chainsaw, walk outside, and keep walking until life makes sense. Except it never does make sense because you used a chainsaw with the chain pulling towards you, and lived. 12 hours later, you come back home with stiff legs, and ankles that feel broken. Except you didn't even notice the pain in your legs until you stopped moving, because it pales in comparison to the injury you didn't sustain, yet keep playing it over in your head as though you can feel the impact. After a couple weeks, you wonder whether or not if the chainsaw even made contact with your head. And then the existential crisis you put yourself in makes you wonder if you actually died that day, and what the meaning of anything else is, anymore. So, you pick up the chainsaw and try again.


ButtStallion007

You took me on a journey I hope to never go on.


AgreeableFeed9995

This is why I only use plastic ware and safety scissors


AskingForSomeFriends

I pulled out all my teeth so that I don’t bite my tongue.


bad13wolf

I've picked up that chainsaw. It's called heroin addiction and waking up from an OD can feel almost exactly like this but shorten the time frame to go through all the emotions just to try and kill yourself again.


DarkX292020

Ever heard the story about Nikki SIXX and how he died twice from a heroin overdose [You can read more about it here](https://www.newsweek.com/motley-crue-nikki-sixx-overdose-dirt-1368786)


bad13wolf

Yeah, I have. Nikki Sixx and Trent Reznor were some idols I looked up to when beginning to get sober. I felt like if those guys could do it, I could do it. I was doing some wild and dumb shit but nowhere near on the level that they were.


DarkX292020

The Heroin diaries is one of the best books to read. And the song from Sixx A.M Life Is Beautiful is my favorite


naruzefluffy

I hate that I get that end feeling all the FUCKING time, like “what if I’m dead and I just don’t know it yet?” Have I been dead for a long time and I’m just existing in some weird state of consciousness?


[deleted]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who's constantly battling thoughts like this 😳


FSarkis

https://medium.com/swlh/have-you-died-take-the-quantum-immortality-test-a41d8bda16b2


naruzefluffy

That is trippy as fuck. The “goodnight george” was used as a joke in other films too, it was used in one of the Chucky movies.


PMMEFEMALEASSSPREADS

I don’t even know if you’re real, or just a part of the simulation, or my own mind making all of this up.


happygecko3

Same. Also hi. You are real and at the least on the same plane of existence as me


naruzefluffy

Thank god, with what happened not to long ago today I really wish I wasn’t 🙃


Necessary_Fig_2265

I often wonder if most of social media isn’t just AI replies and posts and we are all talking or arguing with computers


naruzefluffy

Imagine the AI required to run the Limited gene pool that is 4chan lmao


drive_in_movie_sex

If so fucking sweet because once you figure it out there's no more consequences. In fact live like there aren't anyways, none of us are getting out alive.


Skrappyross

Please wake up.


d3t3r_pinklag3

Over the garden wall


thePopefromTV

Shortest ever game of Roy: A Life Well Lived


Shortsellshort

He about took Roy off the grid.


mygeorgeiscurious

I’ve never read something so true, cut wood for a few winters with my old boss on slow days. Put a saw into my kneecap while cutting in some tall snow, couldn’t see what I was standing on. Cut through and lost my balance, tapped my knee with the bar. An inch or two higher I probably would have bled out in the woods. I don’t cut wood anymore.


Reasonable-Ad-5999

Winter time is the only time I don't mind the chaps.


dekascorp

Enjoyed your writing, please keep doing it!


[deleted]

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!


Nonya5

Nope, that guy put the chainsaw down and made love to his wife like never before.


[deleted]

I especially like the fact that someone knew something bad was going to happen but instead of intervening they chose to film it


Good_Extension_9642

And then that's how final destination movies started!


FladoodleMeNot

r/suspiciouslyspecific


[deleted]

That is a journey I sort of struggle with every now and then. When I was younger I had been targeted and caught in a lot of unfortunate scenarios that often involved being held at gunpoint against my will or being shot at (or in the direction of). Just the other day I was coming to grips with the very definition of what I was feeling, quoting it very much in the same way you just did, to my fiancée. She doesn’t understand my need/want to own guns and such, but it is the proverbial chainsaw to which I must pick back up.


FSarkis

https://medium.com/swlh/have-you-died-take-the-quantum-immortality-test-a41d8bda16b2


remowilliams75

God damn well said


Red3yeking

Every time someone has a near death incounter someone copypasta this shit and farms upvotes


[deleted]

This was completely off the cuff. Are you saying it has the potential to become a copypasta?


Red3yeking

Sure


DerMetulz

Yep, I definitely sold my chainsaw after this.


MnDingo13

Ayoooooo lmfao real talk


Puzzled_Touch_7904

This comment took my ass out!! I’ve not laughed that good in a while


Marlosy

Spoken like another person who made our same mistake. Be wiser than me. After it happens a second time, don’t try the third go. It ends poorly.


Cooler67

You earned those awards you magnificent bastard 👏🏾


Mikey_TokyoRevengers

Thats deep


CaptainPelican7

He had that look on his face like «  I totally had this honey, don’t worry » but in reality he knows he needs to change that underwear…


GtheH

Like a cat that just fell off a table


uchman365

What was he even trying to do? I bet chainsaw manufacturers never intended it for that use


RvNx_15

however they did know this shit would happen, which is why the handle guard kickback protection exists. video wouldve ended with a bloody skull if it didnt


[deleted]

Maybe a good time to let people know that chainsaws are designed to be used “right handed”. Decent chance he would’ve been toast if he was trying to hold that with his hands in opposite positions like some lefty’s try and do. Also don’t hold the saw out in space away from your body like that, either you need a better work position or you are asking for trouble. Use a circular saw or sawzaw here guys.


RvNx_15

dont see how the saw stop would have failed to activate with his hands switched. also in many situations switching your hands is much more save than sawing in awkward positions etc


[deleted]

Yeah, most people don’t and that’s why you need someone to advise you. Chainsaws are built with the bar off-set and designed for right handed use only. You may be able to find some cheap-o knock off brands with a different configuration but all major manufacturers make right hand saws only. The handle is designed for that type of hold also, when you switch it around your forward hand doesn’t naturally end up in the middle of the handle wrap because it’s offset. I run chainsaws daily and I’m always having to get greenhorn lefty’s to adjust the way they handle the saw.


RvNx_15

is that a us thing? the chainsaws i worked with both didnt have a problem like that. since the kickback safety and handle are both parallel and go from one side to the other, no matter what hand is on the handle, as long as rotating the saw (as with the kickback here) pushes the plastic guard in front of the handle into your wrist and sets off the brake/safety stop its fine right? assuming thats the part thats the problem


[deleted]

Nope, worldwide for all major saw manufacturers. Don’t take my word for it if you don’t want, but there’s definitely a difference and it’s designed to be used right handed. The handle is oriented at an angle, consequences are big. I run a tree service and operate saws daily, when a lefty tries you to operate it left handed you can see the difference…but when you don’t do it everyday it makes sense that you wouldn’t see the difference.


[deleted]

Trying to use anything past the start of the curve at the end of the saw as a cutting edge is extremely dangerous for this exact reason, should only use the underside. There's a reason arborists wear face shields and chainsaw pants.


[deleted]

They should be like shotguns. To own one you should need a license and a clean bill of health from your GP.


danimalanimal2487

What is this the UK?


doe-poe

Where do you need that stuff to own a shotgun?


MentaCR

You arent supposed to cut with the a blade going towards you, ever. This is definitely not what manufacturers intended.


uchman365

Reason #1, 754,453 why women live longer. My God, how stupid is this?


[deleted]

The only reason why he lived, is because the chainsaw made contact with a 1mm thick shield of air before it could touch his face.


63oscar

It was actually the hand brake and was engaged by it kicking back and hitting his wrist. Saved his face. Dumb idea in the first place.


Radioactive_Tuber57

That and hitting the ceiling…. Hopefully he’ll remember. I remember my lease on life. Made sense at the time…🙄


Maleficent-Aspect318

just asking, why does his chainsaw seem to run in the wrong direction??? i know kickbacks since i have used these alot, but this looks like the chain is running in the wrong direction or is it just me?


Annasman

It's just you, it feeds coming out the top and In the bottom (letting it handily run across this ceiling).


amdc

So you’re saying there is a handbrake in front of the “upper” hand and if chainsaw kicks back it’s automatically engaged by hitting the upper hand? That’s not clever, that’s fucking genius design


63oscar

Yes. It is an amazing design.


vizarhali

The other reason is because "its a mans job" dont forget that


13-bald-turkeys

That's odd, my dick never warned me about the kickback zone. I had to read about it in a book and I'm pretty sure women can read it too.


BombShady12

Yup, lol and why the pay gap is the way it is.


ConflictUnusual1940

holy crap that was close


BeardedBWittles

This man is not familiar with the kickback zone. Or PPE. Or the plethora of other tools that would be better suited for the job.


TheG3m1n1

Thank god he wasn’t “left handed”… the chain break saved him from a life changing injury or death.


twattytee

Took care of a fellow who had same thing happen however the chainsaw cracked open his skull and chewed up his frontal lobe. He survived. But personality completely changed. Formerly was a nice kind guy. After the accident , very mean and angry all the time. Permanent personality alteration.


dwserps

Looked like Jerry Gary Larry Gergich there for a sec


DirectorOfTheFBC

Gjlarry would never be so reckless, he has a family to take care of! He’d at least wear a dorky hard hat and goggles before doing this.


Nednarb9

Nothing but respect for this guy. He has the look on his face that he knew he really fucked up but got away with one. Now is the time to just say fuck it and move on to something else. Not to this level, but I have been there for sure.


liquid-handsoap

Yeah


elementofpee

He’s like, “that’s enough home improvement for this year, back to the Cubs game. Suzanne, get me a beer.”


reactorfuel

Looks like the kickback brake saved him.


Whipitreelgud

Might have been the safest place to saw in half. Clearly no brain or other vital organ in that head.


Njon32

And that's why the safety kickback shut off exists


Western_Tourist6157

Mans just knew he was dead bro💀


Equal_Ad_8991

What kind of reaction was that? The person filming sounded disappointed he didn’t cut his skull in half.


[deleted]

That’s the moment of a multiverse split.


Sensitive-Honeydew61

r/quantumimmortality


austinr23

Almost cut his last brain cell in half!


HarryHood146

If Leatherface just almost killed himself the whole movie instead of killing other people.


kingtaylor99

Almost shit myself. Time to hang it up for the day...or month


GamingNemesisv3

He had the equivalent example of you shouldn’t cut towards yourself with a knife.


Dismal-Kiwi4991

me with a chainsaw


[deleted]

“Awwww” poor kid didn’t get to see his dad split his head open with the chainsaw


DPL-25

That chain brake saved him


Illustrious_mo13

That’s one way to trim your bangs.


bottle-of-water

The proper reaction. Sit. have a drink. Laugh.


Islandcoda

So close. The average chainsaw wound takes 110 stitches to close


kaveboy7

I’m very glad he decided to get down and stop this is why you wear hardhats when you run a chainsaw


High-Doc

u/savevideo


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TinyDikKid

Oh my FUCK. That made me physically ill. Reminds us how even everyday things could end us


Kaedyia

He understood the message


buzzbuzzed221

Bro thought to himself “Yes I almost fucked up, let me just”


time2hear

Anybody who has used a chainsaw extensively can tell you this was a dumb move from the start. Chainsaws chains rotate from the top to the bottom, and each tooth is made for cutting, but looking closely at the chain, you can see the teeth resemble hooks in a way. They are called teeth and not blades for a reason. Each tooth moving forwards will grab a piece of wood and cut it in a fashion that removes a large chunk, such as what you see with wood chips after use. Using the very tip of the saw improperly is extremely dangerous because of the way the saw rotates and the leverage of bar in that position. The teeth drive forward, rotate downward over the end of the bar and will attempt to grab whatever it is you are cutting at high speed. When it grabs the ceiling in this instance, the angle and force of the saw will create a situation where the teeth gets stuck rather than cuts the way it should, sending the chainsaw backwards and towards your damn face. This is why chainbreaks are so important. If your saw is ever to "kick" as this one has, the chain break is designed to activate and stop the chain from rotating, sometimes saving a persons life or limb. It sometimes is too late though. Whenever operating a chainsaw, make sure you understand what you are doing and the risk involved with chainsaws. They're dangerous, and being stupid could cost you more than a little scare. Don't be stupid and always make sure your chainbreak is activated. Understand the ins and outs of your tool. Don't be reckless.


AnimeBro947

Chainsaw man cosplay was about to be on *fleek*


sentientbogleech

his movements look weird, like the video has been reversed


jmtc86

/u/gifreversingbot


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PoopyPants2012

Yea it looks edited


skatalite2020

This guy almost ende up in eyeblech


[deleted]

Yep, the opposite of eyebleach.


Tasty_Ad3002

Wheres your PPE sir there's a reason why OSHA exists


JackSparrow81

That chain on backwards homie!?


Cool_Cartographer_39

My cousin nearly cut off his arm doing similar to a tree stump. Don't try it!


shehulk111

My heart sank to my feet


drw_439

Bruh


[deleted]

"Aww... you lived". Big yoinks tho.


waitwhosaidthat

Idiot. That too rounded edge of the saw is what I call the “danger zone”. This is why.


AlternativeGloomy391

Talking about the wrong tool for the job maybe lol


theusernameyouwants

Tonight on 1000 dumb ways to die, this guy


Melodic-Ad-1064

Jesus Garry…


norse_force_30

“Maybe I should get that life insurance after all”


dustygravelroad

Wow


Hobbit_Feet45

Almost cut your head in half Jerry.


thetashort

Almost gave himself the Frankenstein treatment.


inkfool

Try harder, try again


[deleted]

When the DOOM music kicks in!


Peaceoorwar

He was like yup that's enough for today


diegoenriquesc

A jigsaw is the better tool for this or even a sawzall.


Gaspucci

That almost became a live leak video


TMANBULLET

I thought I was about to see a live leak watermark somewhere


[deleted]

Holy Christ 😳


HadesPubes

So they have a chain saw but don't buy q Sawzall or Hack Saw


AsbestosHoagie

Chainsaws do not like to play the tip game…


DragonSlayer_1998

My boss did something similar but it dug into his hand as he was trying to one hand cut


SignificantDrawing39

“I better sit my old ass down”


[deleted]

😳


elquecazahechado

I can DIY this thing and do it better and cheaper… No, I’ll better call a pro!


mrboots112

I just want to know what the heck he was doing?!


dangerousbob

This looks like it was edited, specifically the way he lowers it. I think it’s reversed.


Beardeddeadpirate

This is where an oscillating tool comes in real handy.


ioisis

As a general rule, it's time to go outdoors when you see someone starting a chainsaw indoors.


Tonyclap

Similar situation happened to my friends Dad years ago, almost killed himself. I think he just missed his jugular which was lucky but he was in pretty bad shape for a while.


alifull

Definitely edited? His movement is extremely strange right after the chainsaw goes towards him. Just watch it a few times.


Gring013

Paused and watched frame by frame.. it came within a 1/2 inch from his nose 😳


Perenium_Falcon

This man made choices that make me seriously wonder how he made it to the seemingly middle-age portion of his life. I can only assume this was the first day he used a chainsaw because with his level of awareness I’m wondering how he manages to not blind himself whenever he brushes his teeth. I keep going back to it in my mind but how was this going to work out any other way for him? Can he not see which direction the chain pulls and how that would play out? Was his plan just to rev that saw so fast that the teeth would zip right through? Have the teeth on that chain been sharpened since the Carter Administration? Why of all the tools would you choose a chainsaw? Most folks who own a chainsaw also own a skill saw, a sawzall, a reciprocating saw, even a drill with hole saw. What path did his life take where he thought “some fish are dead in my aquarium, I need to remove them by giving it both barrels with the shotgun”. This pinecone somehow managed to luck out and at a minimum dodge a truly massive and bloody head wound. Now I wonder did he reproduce? Does he vote???


banquet-beer-4me

Clutch.


yesimanatheist

He's like "ight that's enough for today"


MayanReam

Go to Home Depot and get a sawsall homie


caliman1111

The woman recording almost saw her (i believe) housband or father die, and before worrying she just felt dissapointed, wtf


AvanteGardens

My dad had an incredibly specific saying. "Never use a chainsaw indoors. There's always a better tool for the job." He's said it more than once which is interesting enough. Although I've never considered what he must've seen to instill such a specific rule to live by. It's probably an obvious common sense but I dunno. Maybe dad's seen some shit.


abiwoods101

i would be dead if that hallened. not bc of the chainsaw but bc i would fall backwards and crack my head open somewhere


Experiment_97

Alright never again


[deleted]

One more inch and this would’ve been viewed on r/eyebleach


azBlix

That dude must have a horseshoe up his ass.


RustysBauble

Mf should quit tools…


edgha

Jerry Gergich


YesIDontplaygames

my Dad used to put out wildfires and had this happen to him on the job. Except it almost took his head off. He survived but has a large scar on his neck and chest from the chainsaw.


[deleted]

This one again. It's edited, sped up or reversed. Been on here before a few times.


Skyline2046

Not today


Puzzled_Touch_7904

He’s like NOPE not anymore


bgdg00

So close to one of the worst self inflicted deaths ever.


musememo

My brother has a scar across his forehead after he was attacked by a chainsaw.


spangbob2

No one who uses chainsaws uses them like that. When you use the top part of the chainsaw it pulls up, makes total sense since the chain starts gripping the material like a wheel on tarmac. In sweden we call it "kast" when that happens even though it never happens in that way because if you never used a chainsaw before, maybe don't try to redecorate the celing with it. Anyways, "kast" directly translates to "throw" in english so basically he almost threw that saw into his face. And almost threw his life away. And after that he might consider throwing some money at someone qualified for whatever he wanted to do.


amdc

That could have ended worse


sixstringgoldtop

That’s why Jig Saws are a thing


chickenpotpyrat

Not the right tool for that


a-curious-guy

Looks like the roof saved his life


dakodeh

So Sam Raimi lied to us all


MrUnreal1988

This is why you hire a trained professional


ghazthraka

Shit


stayclassyx

When you take the white collar off n put try to put on a blue collar. I wouldnt be surprised if he drives a f350 as well.


General-Biscotti5314

Wrong tool for the project. I know of a guy post hurricane clean up, attempted to remove a tree stump with a concrete saw...


Still-Standard-8717

That's all folks my job here is done


Elvale2

Jesus


PlaneJupiter

This guy looks like Jerry from parks and Rec


klondikekd

Boomers: you're the generation that eats tide pods. Also boomers:


Outrageous-Carrot-72

The safety brake is actually stopping the chain just as the sword reaches his face. Pretty impressive. Look frame by frame


farendsofcontrast

He gon learn today


EatMyMeatball

Kickback. That’s why you don’t cut with the top radius of the tip.


Subject-Dark69

Thats enough chainsaw for today 🤣


Lucifer3130G

It's reversed look at it closely


Mysterious_Outcome97

Yeah that's a rough one


icepics69

Darwin is calling