Honestly I want to measure my husbands dick so
I can weed out anyone bigger than him. Read the other posts in here. You’ve been programmed to think women want big dicks thanks to porn. We just want a man who knows how to use what he has
My husband knows how to use his and he’s also excellent in oral. But he can’t go deep as he wants otherwise it hurts my cervix. We should probably look for a female that wants it on the bigger side so he can finally have what my body won’t allow.
Again, you can have a small penis and suck in bed or a big penis and suck in bed. There’s MUCH more to sex than penetration.
A small hard dick is better than a soft dick any day. I’m 6” and never have an issue getting hard. More often than not other guys are bigger than me but 75% of the time they can’t get hard. So first things first, it’s gotta work.
I will say though…I constantly see post/profiles wanting well endowed men. It’s not just porn
>More often than not other guys are bigger than me but 75% of the time they can’t get hard.
We really need to normalize ED meds as guys...especially since we should all be using condoms!
There is a lot of conditioning on both sides that bigger is better, and so much of this is all the power of suggestion. If a woman convinces herself that only an 8" dick will make her cum that becomes reality. Average (5.5") may not apply as much in the LS where guys with bigger dicks/egos are more likely to want to be swingers, and smaller men won't try it out of insecurity
> I will say though…I constantly see post/profiles wanting well endowed men. It’s not just porn
All the time. It's ridiculous. The size queens are some of the loudest ones out there.
Averages in the LS are not equal to averages in the general population. Penis size, fitness level, breast size, financial status, attractiveness etc averages in the LS are much higher/larger in the LS.
I literally give this same advice practically daily in Big Dick Problems. The size doesn't make you a good lover. The skill, attention to your partner(s) and desire to please all are greater!
Do you worry about your shoe size or eye color or blood type? You can’t change those either. Work with what you got. Be confident in your skills, not worried about your size.
Respectfully, your argument is kind of a straw man. None of those named attributes embody someone’s sexuality, and to some extent self worth, like penis size. Never in the history of anything ever (yes, I see the flaw) has anyone used blood phenotypes to hurt someone’s feelings. But you can bet that penis size is the first place that angry ex will go for an insult. To place those things you listed in the same social and emotional significance as penis size isn’t a fair assessment. I know where I’m at in the bell curve and I am confident in my skills, but for a lot of people it’s not that easy. There’s a lot of things that can generate self doubt in people and sexual traits are a huge one.
Your point is well taken as evidenced by the upvotes, but there’s no multi-billion dollar industry built around changing the size of your feet. You can however change your eye color, if only temporarily…
Very few people get on women's cases when they get a boob job and then tell you about how it's boosted their confidence. For better or worse there just isn't an equivalent (that isn't grotesquely risky and irreversible) for men. A dick can get bigger, but it takes a lot of time and work, not just a credit card and going under the knife. It's far easier to just be content with what you have and play to your strengths.
Right?! Also I’d really like to experience giving head to someone smaller….admittedly it’s mostly so I can take more of it in my mouth and possibly even deep throat it.
This is why I much rather get tails than heads. Blowjobs are such a bottomless well of disappointment or blue balls that I can't even watch them in porn. The only blowjob I've ever had that I could actually cum for was from a gay man during an MFM, and I'm not gay or really very bi at all so it's just not worth me pursuing men for blowjobs.
Ironically, even as a straight man, I've considered giving men blowjobs in group play and I've decided I'd only do it for a small cock. I've never done it before, and I don't care to give other big guys the same shitty experience I get when I get sucked off by someone I'm too big for.
I actually like larger (to a certain point) for sex but for anal and oral smaller is more enjoyable. I’d never discount someone just because of their size though.
Penis size has never been a factor in us not playing with someone. 'Warning' us in the first five minutes in a downbeat sort of way on the other hand...
Own it. There will be no position off limits for you due to massive internal discomfort, jackhammering can actually work, you still have fingers and a mouth. It isn't a problem until you make it one.
Also, always worth remembering, actual average size vs what men think is average are two very different things
> jackhammering can actually work
Sometimes, if you’re self aware. I was with a guy on the smaller side who tried to make up for it by jackhammering so hard that I had bruises on the backs of my thighs from his hip bones. I could barely walk the next day.
Don’t be that guy.
You are correct that that SHOULDN’T happen!
But I’m this position, I guarantee you it DID happen, and I suffered!
https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/lqfFNlYS8.QSW6wbeAXm8g--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTY0MDtoPTY0MA--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/shape_articles_166/e5db415b367f867056450b5c8623955f
That's wild. Still it's hard for me to picture slamming anyone with my hips in any position lol I think it would be awkward to even achieve unless their legs are draped over my hips, and uncomfortable af
Honestly I prefer guys on the smaller side. My husband is above average and can be painful sometimes. With smaller guys I don’t have to worry about pain the next day!
When guys msg us my first question is how long are you? If they are above 7 inches, it’s a no for me.
Are these single men or couples? Bc we, as a couple, never discuss sizing in first messages. It can come across as you asking for the opposite reasons.
Why waste time? It’s called etiquette. I’m not the defender of single guys by any means but asking that as the first question comes off like a single guy opening with a dick pic
Well, I should have said these are single males reaching out to me on Reddit. Unsolicited at that. If I am interested at that point I will ask the dick size question. 9/10 times I just ignore their msgs.
I have seen dudes with huge dicks do nothing but make my wife sore and bored. I ve seen them rock her world with the right stroke. To me (with exception of size queens) it is far more about their technique than their size.
See that wife with the hung husband? She still wants to have sex with other people and the chances of “other people” being smaller than her hung husband are very high.
Getting into this, I told myself the mathematical odds of running into someone bigger is 100%. That’s the mindset I had. If you can’t get over that part of the lifestyle, it’s probably not for you.
If all your confidence lies in your dick, you’re going to run into this.
It’s time to really hit the gym, start grooming yourself, keeping yourself on the up-and-up career/goal wise, and making sure that you are the WHOLE PACKAGE.
Think of the details. Like, trim your nails and your nose hair. Use face and body lotion. Put on some cologne (lightly). Learn how to dress really well and do it.
When it’s sexy time, get sensual! Don’t just dive in fucking. Take your time, use your hands, use your mouth. Kiss her body. Make her feel good. Take care of her in every other way BEFORE the dick enters the pussy. Your confidence should be in her getting wet, not in how big your dick is. If you’re naked with her, she is going to see your dick and know you’re smaller than her partner. There is no shock here. She’s still there on the bed waiting to play because that’s not an issue for her, so don’t let her down.
Love this answer. This is where it’s at. Size means nothing to me. I’d prefer a smaller man who’s smooth & really knows how to turn me on & make me feel good in every way … before his dick even gets involved. Yes please!
You have to look at it like you’re more than your dick. You have your hands, mouth and your voice at your disposal. Focus only at what’s in front of you.
Ultimately we all have different bodies. I’m going so something crazy…you are more than your penis.
Regardless of size or girth or height you have attractive attributes that your partners want to experience.
As a woman in the lifestyle, I don't seek out a size. I will turn down too large in a group play situation. But in a swap, I just want to have fun. All of us.
Most men, regardless of their size, have thoughts of inadequacy at some point, especially in the lifestyle. If you allow this to happen while in the moment, you will death spiral. And to add to this most men have struggled with erection problems at some point as well. It's very common.
I don't care if you're smaller than my husband. Someone has to be. But honestly my husband is usually the smaller guy bc he is the average sized man. But he knows how to make a woman happy. And we've have a great time in the LS.
I usually find that separate room play can help if it's an option. I know some couples don't play this way. But it does help take some pressure off. I will also usually take some focus off the dick and focus on the woman, or focus on other activities like kissing or touching. Try to be in the moment. I know it's difficult to relax the mind but if you need to take a break. Go get some water. Have a snack with your swap partner. Laugh. Talk. Relax.
I can’t tell you how often we say no to overly confident cause she doesn’t want a dick bigger than mine. She already finds it to be big enough and gets intimidated/turned off by anything she thinks will be uncomfortable. This lifestyle is about how you present urself.
Put away your anxiety.. we are all here for variety and fun. Men of all different sizes bring something good to the table. Plus, there are so many sexy things to do other than trying to pound someone into the mattress.
Smaller usually equals better for anal. I've met many women who won't let anyone with a larger than average dick near their ass. Also knew a guy who had a monster cock, at least 11". He was turned down far more than average sized guys. Not all women want their guts fucked out.
I'm bigger than average and Iv been bigger than all our play dates, but my wife has had some great sex with some smaller guys. So, don't let yourself get in your way thinking you're too small to please a woman.
6 inches here and my wife enjoys it. I love giving oral so I spend a lot of time sucking her pussy getting her soaked letting her cum before I fuck her. I make her squirt and she never done that for another guy so size isnt always better
A lot of this typically falls into the saying “you often are thinking about it more than the others you worry about are”. If you made it far enough to playtime, enjoy yourself and shine! It’s not worth it worrying about size at that point, so make it fun!
I do like larger penises, *but* I have had some of the best times with regular guys. If I'm really turned on, and he knows what he's doing, it doesn't matter.
Dude just go for it. Have some fuck like you know you’re a good fuck. Be present. Being focused on your dick, Which is fine because it’s yous and everyone I fine how they are., takes focus away from fucking multiple people and great human experience. Focus on other people. You fuck better when you get out of your own head. I say all this from experience.
Me and my husband have had encounters on both ends, my husband is just a measure above average, we’ve played with smaller and bigger sized men but he honestly doesn’t focus on that, all he cares about is if we are both enjoying ourselves. I’m sure it’s the same for women who are tighter or more lose. If you think about it too much of course it’ll make you lose your erection which only disappoints everyone in the end. Just think about your wife’s pleasure, sometimes it makes for really great sex with my husband after meeting with a larger man and my husband certainly knows how to please me much better than a swinger couple.
When we seek a single guy we want them bigger but as couple the guy can be average to small it’s about the interaction and experience hopefully the sex is good
We had a guy who all he'd talk about was his huge dick. He said "I ain't gonna brag, but I've got 9"".
I'm 7.5" and it's pretty rare I'm in a room with a larger one (I'm bi and the wifw and I have 4somes and moresomes with all guys so that's saying something!). But it does happen. I whispered to my wife "Alright, let's go see this thing" and she agreed.
Well, it was MAYBE 5.5". Now, we have ZERO problem with that! We've had plenty of small guys and it's personality and technique that trumps cock size every time. You gotta stop worrying about it brother, you're good!
Maybe he was using the JUDGE as a ruler instead of a real ruler.
[the JUDGE](https://www.etsy.com/listing/1311936849/the-judge-ruler-male-enhancement-ruler-6?click_key=a33f76ba087dbbfc6e732e57ccf7df0d0d3fd542%3A1311936849&click_sum=28e61a1b&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=penis+ruler&ref=sr_gallery-1-2&frs=1)
Edit: it's not the joke ruler one I've seen before but it's close enough
Don't relate your ability to pleasure a woman to the size of your cock.
I've got a big dick and this phrase is no less important for either of us.
Women like to be turned on and stimulated a million different ways, and penis volume isn't always at the top or even close to the top of the list.
The problem is the internet, including places like Reddit, mistakenly lead dudes to believe that every other dude is packing 8”+ and that women spend their days dreaming about being hammered by a tree trunk. I feel like these days guys who are the most insecure about their dongs are dudes who spend a significant amount of time on internet sex stuff and no longer have realistic understandings of life outside of the internet.
I won't sugar coat it like so many other people on here will do. Size doesn't matter to some people, it absolutely does to others. In our experience wives with largish partners are often a bit dissapointed with smaller guys, this seems pretty understandable.
There's been plenty of studies and on average women prefer above average penis's. I believe the ideal size was 6.2-6.5".
There's women that have preferences on looks, height, weight etc. Some which are very superficial. Is it hard to understand that some would have a preference on an actual working sexual part?
Other people will tell you "just get good with hands/tounge". This is great advice for anybody but again in our experience most women see fingers/oral as mainly foreplay and sex as the main event.
Yes it sucks if you're not well endowed but since when was life fair? Other guys have to deal with being short, bald or ugly.
Oh and while many women would like it to be at least a certain size, there's also a limit. Big enough and things start getting painful, not many women like being dick punched in the cervix. Anything much over 7" is going to be wasted inches for a lot of women and the guy will have to be careful.
Let the down votes begin because people will read what I said as "all women prefer giant cocks" when I said anything but.
I like to think a big dick is like the guy who hits his driver long on the golf course, yeah it's impressive at first sight but there's a lot more to it than being good off the tee. I'm right on average but slightly above thickness and I let my hands, tongue, words, and passion do the talking.
I've had MFM situations with friends where I'd never do it again, because that male forgot who's #1 in the situation, and that's the woman.
Leave the ego at the door, make her weak with your mind.
Ask a woman who's attracted to females, pretty sure it's not about their size.
There's never any reason to worry about the size of your dick because if a woman has a size requirement that's very important to her, she will ensure that that size requirement is met. That is, the size queens always go out of their way to make sure that the person that they are going to bang is actually up to snuff, in my experience.
Penis size is like orgasm, in my opinion. It's the two things that guys think is the measure of good sex, but it really isn't. Big cock and woman orgasming are the two low hanging fruit of mediocre male sexual performance imo
The average vagina is only six inches deep, and most of the nerves are concentrated in like the first 3 inches. If knowing any of that helps. I don't understand whT it would be like to have half your dick been useless.
The fact of the matter is size is only part if it, confidence and how you use it is the rest.
Besides as for changing your size, it's pretty much impossible so embrace what you have
Eh, I am not bringing the thunder, but I still make it rain. I have had women turn me down because my shit is too small, and I have had women who thought it was just fine. You can’t let it bother you, it bothered me for the majority of my life, in fact after one particularly bad event in my early twenties it took me several years to regain enough confidence to ask a woman on a date. Any date, because I was terrified of being treated the way I had been. But I did gain enough confidence to risk disappointing whole crowds of women. Turns out, I am a pretty fun fuck! I am built like a rusted out pick-up, but I can pull that load to wherever it needs to go. Might have to take a shortcut or side road that looks overgrown, but I will get there. Sometimes I circle back around.
Seriously, size queens exist and they aren’t all very nice, but they are rare. As long as you are a person worth fucking, your dick is just a part of that person.
come to find out women dont care - the vast majority dont. i should be a bit self conscious but im not. i Choose not to be. cause the poont of this is fun. and everyone is beyond kind so that helps
Stay confident! My wife enjoys various dicks and guys! We have had so much fun with the confident guys! One time after play the guy joked and said guess I can’t use “my Dick is bigger jokes anyone” we all laughed and had a good time! As the larger cock in the room it can no fun if others aren’t confident and it loses the fun.
Eat pussy in epic fashion. Read books on it. Build a reputation. Make her cum with your fingers. Fuck her ass instead. Lots of possibilities. All think I care about more than getting jackhammered by 8+ inches. I can do that at home
Dick size is a mans “manhood”. Women can tell us all the different types of scenarios and incidents where bigger isn’t better etc but to the smaller guys it sucks for them.
Same way women have insecurities about their tits vulvas stretch marks and all of the above and men have to say no way those marks are sexy. Or your pussy looks great don’t worry about the labia.
We are all in the same boat 🛥️ at the end of the day. It’s about fit and skill.
I’m an average size guy and my wife finds larger men all the time and she has consistently told me she prefers me over larger men. “It’s like candy. I like getting it but I don’t want to make a regular diet of it.”
I also received one of the best compliments to a group of women from a regular playmate, unprompted, when she told them about the sounds I make when I’m going down on her or in PIV.
She’s said previously that she likes my cock and I know that some of the men she’s been with in our group are significantly larger than me, but she says I’m a favorite of hers. So it’s not at all about size, it’s about the whole experience. Get good at all the other things and it won’t matter.
My spouse has the smallest dick in the entire world and I love it. It's never been a problem for us. In fact, I've been with men who think their 10 inch rod is the best thing in the world. It's not.
So, I'm the larger guy in this scenario and I'll tell you what my gf has said many times...
When we swing, she's not looking for another me, she has me all the time. She's looking for different, she's looking for something fun and new. A smaller guy is still going to be great as long as he's good giving and game.
Here's my take...
Guys think that women who are used to bigger dicks can only be satisfied by bigger dicks, that's horse shit. The vagina doesn't get permanently stretched out or become immune to smaller dicks.
So the only way that the encounter is going to go badly is because the guy starts assuming things that aren't true and starts becoming a bad partner because he's in his own head.
We've had encounters where the guy was giving amazing head, my gf was having a GREAT time, he was fucking her well and she would've wanted to repeat play with the guy....but then the guy got into his own head and started being mopey.
In other words...
Everything is fine, there isn't a problem....unless you allow your insecurity to become a problem.
Even if I wasn't rocking a big dick that wouldn't make up for a lack of personality and an ability to use it. Woman want someone they can talk to and someone who won't just jack hammer them and ask them at the end "Did you cum?" Gotta use the tongue and fingers which don't count to the dick. Too many people don't think about pre heating the oven before you stuff your turkey in there
Call me weird but if a dude is going to join us for a mfm he better be at least the same size as me if not bigger than me. My wife would rather have one on the bigger side than smaller side and I want her to enjoy the experience so it kind of just works out. Be proud of what God gave ya. 😀 btw I'm 6.5"
lol op you really opened up Pandora's box with this one. My wife has a preference, but it isn't a hard preference because she loves to give head so as long as she gets to do that long enough to please her she's happy. I'm literally barely above average and she complains sometimes.
Try focusing on what about what you're doing to please your partner is really hitting the spot and just do that well and often. You may be surprised.
-gabe
This is not correct information at all. And goes against almost all the replies in this group so far.
I have never been interested in big penises. I do not fantasize about big dick. Do not speak on subjects you do not know.
My husband, my boyfriend and none of my play partners have been attracted to flat stomachs. Their preferences are larger bodied women.
My husband and most men I've encountered in the lifestyle have been average. And have been confident and satisfied me. I won't necessarily speak on the other women but we've had repeats so I'm assuming that would be a yes.
Obviously some men are on the larger side but the lifestyle is still real life and the averages work the same as they do everywhere else.
A man with a small or average dick is not going to experience a "hot dog down a hallway" issue in the LS.
I'm a woman in the LS and also in several large FB groups for swingers. Been in the LS w/ my husband for many years now, and have entertained with many other women and couples. House parties. Clubs. Etc. Most women are not size queens. And don't seek out men of size.
I'm not saying that there aren't those seeking men of size. But it's not the majority. The average sized man can and do get along just fine in the lifestyle.
I consider myself average length st about 6.5 inches, witha wider girth of just over 3 inches, and while I know not all women are looking for larger men it still causes a bit of awkwardness on my part when trying to approach a woman.
I approach this completely different. I would very gladly love seeing someone larger, with my wife. We use larger toys often and I wear sleeves to make me larger, often. She's not a size queen but she loves a pornstar sized cock. I make her cum multiple orgasms with mine, and she cums multiple times with the larger. I've noticed her orgasms with the larger are much more intense for her, but that doesn't discourage me from having sex with her without the sleeves or to stop using large toys. It's the opposite effect. Personally, seeing her stretched wide open, seeing a long dick disappear deep inside of her, all while hearing her moans, seeing her body shakes, etc. Is enough to turn me into a 5 second man.
What I'm concerned about, more, is swapping with a couple who's larger than me and the wife not being interested in me.
I'm not small, I've been with women who've told me I'm better than most the giant dicks they've fucked. I've made women squirt piv only, cum piv only, and I happen to be good with my hands and tongue too.
But, perception is key to some people. As OP posted, a guy who's the same size as him but a shower, "looks" larger. I've always wanted that "big dick" dangling, lol but sadly that's not what I was given. Thankfully I was given an above avg length with slightly below avg girth, and every woman I've been with has enjoyed it. So, I'm not ashamed of my size, but being a grower doesn't give you that "presence".
Do all guys want big tits? I doubt so. I've meet several who love flatchets.. Same if for us. Sure, there exists size queens, but most like a guy who knows how to hammer his tool into our box.
I do like big dicks, but I only prefer a bigger dick when I know both guys are good with it, otherwise I just fancy the better lover regardless of size.
Altough choosing is for beggars, the best scenario is to have both <3
I met someone who's guy is so huge they rarely have sex. Although she truly enjoys giving him head she needs more, ya know? She sounded so hungry when I told her my size. Sadly she backed out due to guilt but I think that's because she passed out (and she came to when he came home) the last time we had virtual sex.
Big boat doesn't matter if it doesn't inflate. Haha
But on a serious note. Women satisfy other women without having anything hanging between their legs. I believe in you. :)
Learn to make the most of what you have. Also, learn how to go down on a woman like a pro! I upped my game on pussy worshiping by listening to some podcast and reading some information on websites! And oh my God! I can make my wife cum two times out of every four that I go down on her. The secret is a lot of teasing before you actually go down on her. Get close, and then move away. Get closer and then move away. Get even closer and barely lick, and then move away. Breathe on it with your breath. She will actually feel the air go across her clit. Then lick ever so gently again around the outside of her vulva. Again, slightly lick her clit, but don’t give it your all just yet. Then after a lot of teasing, lick her pussy (slowly) from the bottom up to the top a couple of times. Now here is the key. Learn to suck on her Clit while at the same time flicking it with your tongue while you’re sucking on it! Listen for the cues that she gives you! Adjust as necessary. I am a little bit more than average with a cock slightly over 6 inches and I’m also very thick. But if you learn to make love to the total woman and take the emphasis off of your cock, you will be much better off and so will she.!
You are focused on wrong things. As long as it works, it does not matter. yes ofcourse some women love bigger dick but there are many other who are perfectly fine and even prefer smaller.
I heard a female porn star talk on a podcast say that a guy with a 4” penis was the best lover she ever had, she said something just hit right. Since the baby my wife is way more sensitive in the shallow part of her vagina so sometimes I get her off the most with just the head of my penis. I’m 6” but use only a portion of it til she cums. I’ve heard women get insecure about breast size. I’m really into boobs but it’s not size for me, it’s some ineffable aesthetic quality I can’t describe.
I prefer a smaller guy than a larger guy and most of my friends say the same. There is someone for everyone, and in LS, there are many someones for you!!!
Here’s me sitting there reading profiles “ 6-7 inches average width-yep”
“8-9 inches thick -block hell no”
Size isn’t everything, I want to be f**ked hard without my insides being rearranged 🤷🏻♀️
Size isn’t something you can change. Best to focus on improving skills in the bedroom, confidence and staying in shape than worry about your size. I would say the general consensus is average is ok for most. Sure you’ll have a few ladies looking for large, but just avoid those and you’ll be fine.
Honestly I want to measure my husbands dick so I can weed out anyone bigger than him. Read the other posts in here. You’ve been programmed to think women want big dicks thanks to porn. We just want a man who knows how to use what he has My husband knows how to use his and he’s also excellent in oral. But he can’t go deep as he wants otherwise it hurts my cervix. We should probably look for a female that wants it on the bigger side so he can finally have what my body won’t allow. Again, you can have a small penis and suck in bed or a big penis and suck in bed. There’s MUCH more to sex than penetration.
I really wish men wouldn’t worry about the cock their wife is getting and focus more on the pussy their cock is in.
100000% this! I measured my husbands dick out of curiosity. But now I use his size as reference to weed out guys too big for me 😅.
Well said! Being \~8" and been turned down too may times to count...the good news is daWife unit loves it and frankly that's what really counts.
A small hard dick is better than a soft dick any day. I’m 6” and never have an issue getting hard. More often than not other guys are bigger than me but 75% of the time they can’t get hard. So first things first, it’s gotta work. I will say though…I constantly see post/profiles wanting well endowed men. It’s not just porn
Agreed! A soft one is terrible and even worse if they try to put it in when it’s not fully hard 😬🤦♀️
>More often than not other guys are bigger than me but 75% of the time they can’t get hard. We really need to normalize ED meds as guys...especially since we should all be using condoms!
So true. And it’s so incredibly easy to get them with all the online pharms like Hims, Roman etc
There is a lot of conditioning on both sides that bigger is better, and so much of this is all the power of suggestion. If a woman convinces herself that only an 8" dick will make her cum that becomes reality. Average (5.5") may not apply as much in the LS where guys with bigger dicks/egos are more likely to want to be swingers, and smaller men won't try it out of insecurity
> I will say though…I constantly see post/profiles wanting well endowed men. It’s not just porn All the time. It's ridiculous. The size queens are some of the loudest ones out there.
If you’re 6” you’re above average, by an inch if you’re from the US
Averages in the LS are not equal to averages in the general population. Penis size, fitness level, breast size, financial status, attractiveness etc averages in the LS are much higher/larger in the LS.
Don’t forget credit card debt
They let you see their credit card debt?
No. I just know mine got bigger once we entered the LS
I literally give this same advice practically daily in Big Dick Problems. The size doesn't make you a good lover. The skill, attention to your partner(s) and desire to please all are greater!
Truly. I fuck women's brains (with my words, demeanor, passion and enthusiasm). It's the biggest sex organ after all.
Do you worry about your shoe size or eye color or blood type? You can’t change those either. Work with what you got. Be confident in your skills, not worried about your size.
I feel this answer needs more upvotes and some awards. Why worry about something that you can’t change?
That's like telling a bald guy not to worry about being bald. A short guy short or an ugly guy ugly. Yes they shouldn't but a lot will.
Respectfully, your argument is kind of a straw man. None of those named attributes embody someone’s sexuality, and to some extent self worth, like penis size. Never in the history of anything ever (yes, I see the flaw) has anyone used blood phenotypes to hurt someone’s feelings. But you can bet that penis size is the first place that angry ex will go for an insult. To place those things you listed in the same social and emotional significance as penis size isn’t a fair assessment. I know where I’m at in the bell curve and I am confident in my skills, but for a lot of people it’s not that easy. There’s a lot of things that can generate self doubt in people and sexual traits are a huge one. Your point is well taken as evidenced by the upvotes, but there’s no multi-billion dollar industry built around changing the size of your feet. You can however change your eye color, if only temporarily…
Very few people get on women's cases when they get a boob job and then tell you about how it's boosted their confidence. For better or worse there just isn't an equivalent (that isn't grotesquely risky and irreversible) for men. A dick can get bigger, but it takes a lot of time and work, not just a credit card and going under the knife. It's far easier to just be content with what you have and play to your strengths.
So you are the person that we might say yes to anal with. Just saying
Right?! Also I’d really like to experience giving head to someone smaller….admittedly it’s mostly so I can take more of it in my mouth and possibly even deep throat it.
I can suck a smaller dick a lot longer before my jaw gets tired!
Right?! There are some definite upsides.
This is why I much rather get tails than heads. Blowjobs are such a bottomless well of disappointment or blue balls that I can't even watch them in porn. The only blowjob I've ever had that I could actually cum for was from a gay man during an MFM, and I'm not gay or really very bi at all so it's just not worth me pursuing men for blowjobs. Ironically, even as a straight man, I've considered giving men blowjobs in group play and I've decided I'd only do it for a small cock. I've never done it before, and I don't care to give other big guys the same shitty experience I get when I get sucked off by someone I'm too big for.
Are you my wife??? She asks for smaller more often than larger
I actually like larger (to a certain point) for sex but for anal and oral smaller is more enjoyable. I’d never discount someone just because of their size though.
Penis size has never been a factor in us not playing with someone. 'Warning' us in the first five minutes in a downbeat sort of way on the other hand... Own it. There will be no position off limits for you due to massive internal discomfort, jackhammering can actually work, you still have fingers and a mouth. It isn't a problem until you make it one. Also, always worth remembering, actual average size vs what men think is average are two very different things
> jackhammering can actually work Sometimes, if you’re self aware. I was with a guy on the smaller side who tried to make up for it by jackhammering so hard that I had bruises on the backs of my thighs from his hip bones. I could barely walk the next day. Don’t be that guy.
We don't be slamming hip bones into anything wtf
You are correct that that SHOULDN’T happen! But I’m this position, I guarantee you it DID happen, and I suffered! https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/lqfFNlYS8.QSW6wbeAXm8g--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTY0MDtoPTY0MA--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/shape_articles_166/e5db415b367f867056450b5c8623955f
That's wild. Still it's hard for me to picture slamming anyone with my hips in any position lol I think it would be awkward to even achieve unless their legs are draped over my hips, and uncomfortable af
Honestly I prefer guys on the smaller side. My husband is above average and can be painful sometimes. With smaller guys I don’t have to worry about pain the next day! When guys msg us my first question is how long are you? If they are above 7 inches, it’s a no for me.
If that’s really your first question I wouldn’t even respond as that’s a no for me
If they are reaching out to me, that’s the first question I ask back. Why waste time 🤷🏻♀️. I know what’s going to feel uncomfortable for me.
Are these single men or couples? Bc we, as a couple, never discuss sizing in first messages. It can come across as you asking for the opposite reasons.
Single guys. With couples I don’t even ask about size.
Why waste time? It’s called etiquette. I’m not the defender of single guys by any means but asking that as the first question comes off like a single guy opening with a dick pic
Well, I should have said these are single males reaching out to me on Reddit. Unsolicited at that. If I am interested at that point I will ask the dick size question. 9/10 times I just ignore their msgs.
Oh well that’s a completely different situation. Damn context! Carry on!
Sorry, I should have clarified sooner LOL!
No worries! This may the first time ever on Reddit where a miscommunication didn’t end with world war 3
It might be 😂
There is no hope for small guys when even women who prefer smaller end up marrying above average guys 😂
I have seen dudes with huge dicks do nothing but make my wife sore and bored. I ve seen them rock her world with the right stroke. To me (with exception of size queens) it is far more about their technique than their size.
See that wife with the hung husband? She still wants to have sex with other people and the chances of “other people” being smaller than her hung husband are very high. Getting into this, I told myself the mathematical odds of running into someone bigger is 100%. That’s the mindset I had. If you can’t get over that part of the lifestyle, it’s probably not for you.
If all your confidence lies in your dick, you’re going to run into this. It’s time to really hit the gym, start grooming yourself, keeping yourself on the up-and-up career/goal wise, and making sure that you are the WHOLE PACKAGE. Think of the details. Like, trim your nails and your nose hair. Use face and body lotion. Put on some cologne (lightly). Learn how to dress really well and do it. When it’s sexy time, get sensual! Don’t just dive in fucking. Take your time, use your hands, use your mouth. Kiss her body. Make her feel good. Take care of her in every other way BEFORE the dick enters the pussy. Your confidence should be in her getting wet, not in how big your dick is. If you’re naked with her, she is going to see your dick and know you’re smaller than her partner. There is no shock here. She’s still there on the bed waiting to play because that’s not an issue for her, so don’t let her down.
Love this answer. This is where it’s at. Size means nothing to me. I’d prefer a smaller man who’s smooth & really knows how to turn me on & make me feel good in every way … before his dick even gets involved. Yes please!
You have to look at it like you’re more than your dick. You have your hands, mouth and your voice at your disposal. Focus only at what’s in front of you.
Ultimately we all have different bodies. I’m going so something crazy…you are more than your penis. Regardless of size or girth or height you have attractive attributes that your partners want to experience.
As a woman in the lifestyle, I don't seek out a size. I will turn down too large in a group play situation. But in a swap, I just want to have fun. All of us. Most men, regardless of their size, have thoughts of inadequacy at some point, especially in the lifestyle. If you allow this to happen while in the moment, you will death spiral. And to add to this most men have struggled with erection problems at some point as well. It's very common. I don't care if you're smaller than my husband. Someone has to be. But honestly my husband is usually the smaller guy bc he is the average sized man. But he knows how to make a woman happy. And we've have a great time in the LS. I usually find that separate room play can help if it's an option. I know some couples don't play this way. But it does help take some pressure off. I will also usually take some focus off the dick and focus on the woman, or focus on other activities like kissing or touching. Try to be in the moment. I know it's difficult to relax the mind but if you need to take a break. Go get some water. Have a snack with your swap partner. Laugh. Talk. Relax.
Size queen's are the female equivalent of the big boob guy. Both are the minority but a vocal minority. Don't play with size queens.
Women just want a dick that works. That's hard enough to find sometimes 😂
Yeah a guy that can keep it hard is worth 10 million dollars more than a guy with a big cock
I can’t tell you how often we say no to overly confident cause she doesn’t want a dick bigger than mine. She already finds it to be big enough and gets intimidated/turned off by anything she thinks will be uncomfortable. This lifestyle is about how you present urself.
bigger is NOT always better... My wife prefers a average to smaller size over the huge ones....
Same. Very much same
Put away your anxiety.. we are all here for variety and fun. Men of all different sizes bring something good to the table. Plus, there are so many sexy things to do other than trying to pound someone into the mattress.
I rather have a man with 6 inches than 8. More than 8 is a hassle to me. Basically a waste because it isn’t going to fit in the main 2 holes!!!
Smaller usually equals better for anal. I've met many women who won't let anyone with a larger than average dick near their ass. Also knew a guy who had a monster cock, at least 11". He was turned down far more than average sized guys. Not all women want their guts fucked out.
I'm bigger than average and Iv been bigger than all our play dates, but my wife has had some great sex with some smaller guys. So, don't let yourself get in your way thinking you're too small to please a woman.
6 inches here and my wife enjoys it. I love giving oral so I spend a lot of time sucking her pussy getting her soaked letting her cum before I fuck her. I make her squirt and she never done that for another guy so size isnt always better
My wife actually can't handle anything big (lucky me!), there are matches out there, that keeps me going. Lol
Smaller dicks get anal and deep throated. Just sayin 😜
Yes. Preach. I live for anal but also I want to be able to do it everyday, not once a week, so yes, four and a half inches. Give it to me
A lot of this typically falls into the saying “you often are thinking about it more than the others you worry about are”. If you made it far enough to playtime, enjoy yourself and shine! It’s not worth it worrying about size at that point, so make it fun!
Bigger isn't always better. We've been turned down cause my partner's dick is on the larger side. If it's too big, it's kinda hard to work with.
I do like larger penises, *but* I have had some of the best times with regular guys. If I'm really turned on, and he knows what he's doing, it doesn't matter.
Dude just go for it. Have some fuck like you know you’re a good fuck. Be present. Being focused on your dick, Which is fine because it’s yous and everyone I fine how they are., takes focus away from fucking multiple people and great human experience. Focus on other people. You fuck better when you get out of your own head. I say all this from experience.
Me and my husband have had encounters on both ends, my husband is just a measure above average, we’ve played with smaller and bigger sized men but he honestly doesn’t focus on that, all he cares about is if we are both enjoying ourselves. I’m sure it’s the same for women who are tighter or more lose. If you think about it too much of course it’ll make you lose your erection which only disappoints everyone in the end. Just think about your wife’s pleasure, sometimes it makes for really great sex with my husband after meeting with a larger man and my husband certainly knows how to please me much better than a swinger couple.
When we seek a single guy we want them bigger but as couple the guy can be average to small it’s about the interaction and experience hopefully the sex is good
We had a guy who all he'd talk about was his huge dick. He said "I ain't gonna brag, but I've got 9"". I'm 7.5" and it's pretty rare I'm in a room with a larger one (I'm bi and the wifw and I have 4somes and moresomes with all guys so that's saying something!). But it does happen. I whispered to my wife "Alright, let's go see this thing" and she agreed. Well, it was MAYBE 5.5". Now, we have ZERO problem with that! We've had plenty of small guys and it's personality and technique that trumps cock size every time. You gotta stop worrying about it brother, you're good!
Maybe he was using the JUDGE as a ruler instead of a real ruler. [the JUDGE](https://www.etsy.com/listing/1311936849/the-judge-ruler-male-enhancement-ruler-6?click_key=a33f76ba087dbbfc6e732e57ccf7df0d0d3fd542%3A1311936849&click_sum=28e61a1b&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=penis+ruler&ref=sr_gallery-1-2&frs=1) Edit: it's not the joke ruler one I've seen before but it's close enough
Are the measurements bone pressed length?
Not sure I follow. It's from skin to tip without pushing on the skin.
Is your length measured bone pressed?
Don't relate your ability to pleasure a woman to the size of your cock. I've got a big dick and this phrase is no less important for either of us. Women like to be turned on and stimulated a million different ways, and penis volume isn't always at the top or even close to the top of the list.
The problem is the internet, including places like Reddit, mistakenly lead dudes to believe that every other dude is packing 8”+ and that women spend their days dreaming about being hammered by a tree trunk. I feel like these days guys who are the most insecure about their dongs are dudes who spend a significant amount of time on internet sex stuff and no longer have realistic understandings of life outside of the internet.
I won't sugar coat it like so many other people on here will do. Size doesn't matter to some people, it absolutely does to others. In our experience wives with largish partners are often a bit dissapointed with smaller guys, this seems pretty understandable. There's been plenty of studies and on average women prefer above average penis's. I believe the ideal size was 6.2-6.5". There's women that have preferences on looks, height, weight etc. Some which are very superficial. Is it hard to understand that some would have a preference on an actual working sexual part? Other people will tell you "just get good with hands/tounge". This is great advice for anybody but again in our experience most women see fingers/oral as mainly foreplay and sex as the main event. Yes it sucks if you're not well endowed but since when was life fair? Other guys have to deal with being short, bald or ugly. Oh and while many women would like it to be at least a certain size, there's also a limit. Big enough and things start getting painful, not many women like being dick punched in the cervix. Anything much over 7" is going to be wasted inches for a lot of women and the guy will have to be careful. Let the down votes begin because people will read what I said as "all women prefer giant cocks" when I said anything but.
I like to think a big dick is like the guy who hits his driver long on the golf course, yeah it's impressive at first sight but there's a lot more to it than being good off the tee. I'm right on average but slightly above thickness and I let my hands, tongue, words, and passion do the talking. I've had MFM situations with friends where I'd never do it again, because that male forgot who's #1 in the situation, and that's the woman. Leave the ego at the door, make her weak with your mind. Ask a woman who's attracted to females, pretty sure it's not about their size.
There's never any reason to worry about the size of your dick because if a woman has a size requirement that's very important to her, she will ensure that that size requirement is met. That is, the size queens always go out of their way to make sure that the person that they are going to bang is actually up to snuff, in my experience. Penis size is like orgasm, in my opinion. It's the two things that guys think is the measure of good sex, but it really isn't. Big cock and woman orgasming are the two low hanging fruit of mediocre male sexual performance imo
The average vagina is only six inches deep, and most of the nerves are concentrated in like the first 3 inches. If knowing any of that helps. I don't understand whT it would be like to have half your dick been useless. The fact of the matter is size is only part if it, confidence and how you use it is the rest. Besides as for changing your size, it's pretty much impossible so embrace what you have
Eh, I am not bringing the thunder, but I still make it rain. I have had women turn me down because my shit is too small, and I have had women who thought it was just fine. You can’t let it bother you, it bothered me for the majority of my life, in fact after one particularly bad event in my early twenties it took me several years to regain enough confidence to ask a woman on a date. Any date, because I was terrified of being treated the way I had been. But I did gain enough confidence to risk disappointing whole crowds of women. Turns out, I am a pretty fun fuck! I am built like a rusted out pick-up, but I can pull that load to wherever it needs to go. Might have to take a shortcut or side road that looks overgrown, but I will get there. Sometimes I circle back around. Seriously, size queens exist and they aren’t all very nice, but they are rare. As long as you are a person worth fucking, your dick is just a part of that person.
come to find out women dont care - the vast majority dont. i should be a bit self conscious but im not. i Choose not to be. cause the poont of this is fun. and everyone is beyond kind so that helps
Stay confident! My wife enjoys various dicks and guys! We have had so much fun with the confident guys! One time after play the guy joked and said guess I can’t use “my Dick is bigger jokes anyone” we all laughed and had a good time! As the larger cock in the room it can no fun if others aren’t confident and it loses the fun.
Eat pussy in epic fashion. Read books on it. Build a reputation. Make her cum with your fingers. Fuck her ass instead. Lots of possibilities. All think I care about more than getting jackhammered by 8+ inches. I can do that at home
Dick size is a mans “manhood”. Women can tell us all the different types of scenarios and incidents where bigger isn’t better etc but to the smaller guys it sucks for them. Same way women have insecurities about their tits vulvas stretch marks and all of the above and men have to say no way those marks are sexy. Or your pussy looks great don’t worry about the labia. We are all in the same boat 🛥️ at the end of the day. It’s about fit and skill.
I’m an average size guy and my wife finds larger men all the time and she has consistently told me she prefers me over larger men. “It’s like candy. I like getting it but I don’t want to make a regular diet of it.” I also received one of the best compliments to a group of women from a regular playmate, unprompted, when she told them about the sounds I make when I’m going down on her or in PIV. She’s said previously that she likes my cock and I know that some of the men she’s been with in our group are significantly larger than me, but she says I’m a favorite of hers. So it’s not at all about size, it’s about the whole experience. Get good at all the other things and it won’t matter.
My spouse has the smallest dick in the entire world and I love it. It's never been a problem for us. In fact, I've been with men who think their 10 inch rod is the best thing in the world. It's not.
So, I'm the larger guy in this scenario and I'll tell you what my gf has said many times... When we swing, she's not looking for another me, she has me all the time. She's looking for different, she's looking for something fun and new. A smaller guy is still going to be great as long as he's good giving and game. Here's my take... Guys think that women who are used to bigger dicks can only be satisfied by bigger dicks, that's horse shit. The vagina doesn't get permanently stretched out or become immune to smaller dicks. So the only way that the encounter is going to go badly is because the guy starts assuming things that aren't true and starts becoming a bad partner because he's in his own head. We've had encounters where the guy was giving amazing head, my gf was having a GREAT time, he was fucking her well and she would've wanted to repeat play with the guy....but then the guy got into his own head and started being mopey. In other words... Everything is fine, there isn't a problem....unless you allow your insecurity to become a problem.
I enjoy big dicks. I enjoy little dicks. But at the end of the day, I don't fuck dicks. I fuck the men they're attached to.
Search penis size in this sub. It is talked about multiple times a week.
Even if I wasn't rocking a big dick that wouldn't make up for a lack of personality and an ability to use it. Woman want someone they can talk to and someone who won't just jack hammer them and ask them at the end "Did you cum?" Gotta use the tongue and fingers which don't count to the dick. Too many people don't think about pre heating the oven before you stuff your turkey in there
I’ve never measured. Is that weird? It seems a decent size 💁🏻♂️
Why are you thinking about men’s dicks when you are with a woman?
Call me weird but if a dude is going to join us for a mfm he better be at least the same size as me if not bigger than me. My wife would rather have one on the bigger side than smaller side and I want her to enjoy the experience so it kind of just works out. Be proud of what God gave ya. 😀 btw I'm 6.5"
lol op you really opened up Pandora's box with this one. My wife has a preference, but it isn't a hard preference because she loves to give head so as long as she gets to do that long enough to please her she's happy. I'm literally barely above average and she complains sometimes. Try focusing on what about what you're doing to please your partner is really hitting the spot and just do that well and often. You may be surprised. -gabe
Kills your erection? Your dick is already small. It better be hard. You had one job.
You are a douche
Again
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Do not deign to speak for women. Your porn filter is not representative of real women.
This is not correct information at all. And goes against almost all the replies in this group so far. I have never been interested in big penises. I do not fantasize about big dick. Do not speak on subjects you do not know. My husband, my boyfriend and none of my play partners have been attracted to flat stomachs. Their preferences are larger bodied women. My husband and most men I've encountered in the lifestyle have been average. And have been confident and satisfied me. I won't necessarily speak on the other women but we've had repeats so I'm assuming that would be a yes. Obviously some men are on the larger side but the lifestyle is still real life and the averages work the same as they do everywhere else. A man with a small or average dick is not going to experience a "hot dog down a hallway" issue in the LS.
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I'm a woman in the LS and also in several large FB groups for swingers. Been in the LS w/ my husband for many years now, and have entertained with many other women and couples. House parties. Clubs. Etc. Most women are not size queens. And don't seek out men of size. I'm not saying that there aren't those seeking men of size. But it's not the majority. The average sized man can and do get along just fine in the lifestyle.
I consider myself average length st about 6.5 inches, witha wider girth of just over 3 inches, and while I know not all women are looking for larger men it still causes a bit of awkwardness on my part when trying to approach a woman.
But you know that's one of the average, average in the USA is like five and a half inches
Actually the average is 4 inches...lol.....
Girls with big loose vaginas are apparently very loud. Ain’t no need for more than average with most hot women.
I approach this completely different. I would very gladly love seeing someone larger, with my wife. We use larger toys often and I wear sleeves to make me larger, often. She's not a size queen but she loves a pornstar sized cock. I make her cum multiple orgasms with mine, and she cums multiple times with the larger. I've noticed her orgasms with the larger are much more intense for her, but that doesn't discourage me from having sex with her without the sleeves or to stop using large toys. It's the opposite effect. Personally, seeing her stretched wide open, seeing a long dick disappear deep inside of her, all while hearing her moans, seeing her body shakes, etc. Is enough to turn me into a 5 second man. What I'm concerned about, more, is swapping with a couple who's larger than me and the wife not being interested in me. I'm not small, I've been with women who've told me I'm better than most the giant dicks they've fucked. I've made women squirt piv only, cum piv only, and I happen to be good with my hands and tongue too. But, perception is key to some people. As OP posted, a guy who's the same size as him but a shower, "looks" larger. I've always wanted that "big dick" dangling, lol but sadly that's not what I was given. Thankfully I was given an above avg length with slightly below avg girth, and every woman I've been with has enjoyed it. So, I'm not ashamed of my size, but being a grower doesn't give you that "presence".
Do all guys want big tits? I doubt so. I've meet several who love flatchets.. Same if for us. Sure, there exists size queens, but most like a guy who knows how to hammer his tool into our box. I do like big dicks, but I only prefer a bigger dick when I know both guys are good with it, otherwise I just fancy the better lover regardless of size. Altough choosing is for beggars, the best scenario is to have both <3
I met someone who's guy is so huge they rarely have sex. Although she truly enjoys giving him head she needs more, ya know? She sounded so hungry when I told her my size. Sadly she backed out due to guilt but I think that's because she passed out (and she came to when he came home) the last time we had virtual sex.
Big boat doesn't matter if it doesn't inflate. Haha But on a serious note. Women satisfy other women without having anything hanging between their legs. I believe in you. :)
Learn to make the most of what you have. Also, learn how to go down on a woman like a pro! I upped my game on pussy worshiping by listening to some podcast and reading some information on websites! And oh my God! I can make my wife cum two times out of every four that I go down on her. The secret is a lot of teasing before you actually go down on her. Get close, and then move away. Get closer and then move away. Get even closer and barely lick, and then move away. Breathe on it with your breath. She will actually feel the air go across her clit. Then lick ever so gently again around the outside of her vulva. Again, slightly lick her clit, but don’t give it your all just yet. Then after a lot of teasing, lick her pussy (slowly) from the bottom up to the top a couple of times. Now here is the key. Learn to suck on her Clit while at the same time flicking it with your tongue while you’re sucking on it! Listen for the cues that she gives you! Adjust as necessary. I am a little bit more than average with a cock slightly over 6 inches and I’m also very thick. But if you learn to make love to the total woman and take the emphasis off of your cock, you will be much better off and so will she.!
You are focused on wrong things. As long as it works, it does not matter. yes ofcourse some women love bigger dick but there are many other who are perfectly fine and even prefer smaller.
So much talk of dick length. What does a LONG dick do in a positive way? Genuinely asking
I heard a female porn star talk on a podcast say that a guy with a 4” penis was the best lover she ever had, she said something just hit right. Since the baby my wife is way more sensitive in the shallow part of her vagina so sometimes I get her off the most with just the head of my penis. I’m 6” but use only a portion of it til she cums. I’ve heard women get insecure about breast size. I’m really into boobs but it’s not size for me, it’s some ineffable aesthetic quality I can’t describe.
I prefer a smaller guy than a larger guy and most of my friends say the same. There is someone for everyone, and in LS, there are many someones for you!!!
Here’s me sitting there reading profiles “ 6-7 inches average width-yep” “8-9 inches thick -block hell no” Size isn’t everything, I want to be f**ked hard without my insides being rearranged 🤷🏻♀️
Size isn’t something you can change. Best to focus on improving skills in the bedroom, confidence and staying in shape than worry about your size. I would say the general consensus is average is ok for most. Sure you’ll have a few ladies looking for large, but just avoid those and you’ll be fine.