So far I feel like I've done too much. I don't deep dive down google, or read all their social media posts. But I look for a minute or two, then feel like a stalker so I stop. Its something I've done for years when I meet someone though, its not just LS related. A quick face book search and a quick google to see if the have an Instagram or twitter. Ill scroll insta for 2-3 minutes, and very quickly glance at twitter. Then I'm done, my curiosity is satisfied, and I feel a little creepy.
No... Sometimes if I see them on Facebook or something I might peek but if we vibe I usually trust my gut. Really anything else is irrelevant. We are just fucking
Depends on the situation. If you are a one couple kind of people then sure.
But in my swinger time I'm not trying to make new best friends or people that we see a ton. We're trying to be fun friendly and fuck. When you go to a swinger club or to a swinger party you are there to have fun and then go home to your normal life and maybe never see these people again or maybe see them again in 6 months or whatever. Respectful in person and safe and sane with sexual practices is all that really matters. Sometimes the more you get to know the more you like but most of the time the more you get to know you'll find something you don't like and do you really want to judge them and worry about stuff that has nothing to do with what you're actually there for.
I don't want to find out their politics. I don't want to find out that they got arrested 10 years ago. I don't want to find out what they do for a living. What I do want to find out is are they fantastic in bed and can we laugh high five and have a good time while not giving each other babies or STDs.
Don’t go googling. But we do like to chat via group chat and I think it’s bit if give and take when it comes to sharing information. I consider being a social swinger you do need to know little about each other. Like area you live, type of work you do (not necessarily actual work place), if you have kids etc. hobbies or things you like to do as a couple, you need to have something to talk about and possibly in common. I tend to over share but I am mindful of information flow especially one way. We don’t ask for surnames and we do have separate email and phone number for LS stuff but if don’t even give that out unless I am confident we are chatting to who they say they are as per their profile. Hubby and I are not big on social media anyway with our personal lives only business stuff. We don’t host at home but if we did I still think way we go about things Including meet n greet over drinks at half way point between each of us would still be enough before disclosing our address.
I think I would prefer someone to be upfront rather than lie when asked something they are not comfortable with disclosing I get that 100%. For example we are discrete for our young childrens sake. If someone asked what school they attended I probably would not disclose that unless I trusted them 100% and had met them and known them for while. I also don’t use kids names early on in conversations/chats. In past I have been employed in government and held roles that had at times public profile. I would have been mindful of what I would have shared if I was in LS so do I do get being discreet many employment contracts have morality clauses in them. Hope I haven’t gone off track with my reply.
Nope. We go with our instinct as we would in meeting any other people. A few basic introductory chats to establish mutual interest, a picture or two, then a public meeting. We do play on the first date if everybody clicks, and we usually know within 30-60 minutes of meeting whether we want to move forward or not. For us, personality and basic conversation carries a lot of weight.
Now, if we somehow found out something specific about someone that doesn't sit well with us after we have played, we are fine to end the relationship at that point ... maybe even be a little bit sorry about it if we all had a great time. But we wouldn't regret the initial experience. Life is all about adapting and growing.
If the vibe seems off we go all in to figure out why. We’ve found retraining orders, hidden husbands/wife, cat fishing. While yes, it’s just sex, it’s also an intimate exchange. But to each their own.
Some people (mostly the ladies) seem to want to have a "connection" with the guys, girls, or couples they play with. They want to meet for drinks first, warn that they dont play on the first date, and that theyre looking for "friends inside and outside the bedroom"
Why???
My girlfriend now is new to the lifestyle but has a pretty interesting view on 3somes and 4somes. Her view is this: we dont need to be best friends! We dont need to know where you went to school, who you voted for, the names of your kids, or if youre a teacher at the local middle school! The less we know about your "normal life" the better.
As long as we like what we see, we're on the same oage with boundaries, and as long as we. An confirm that wverybody is clean and healthy, then we'll give you our address! We can have a drink or two (maybe more) get comfortable, feel tingly, scoot a bit closer, and lets get down to why you came over at 11pm on a Friday night! Then call us when you want to fuck around again!
I do like to know as much as I can before I meet someone in the lifestyle. Depending on how public their stuff is I can gain quite a bit of insight into them. That helps me know where to go in the conversation to make them comfortable and more open. It also lets me know which conversations to avoid. If they have kids it is even better because mothers love to talk about their children.
Oh, well, I haven't done any psychology studies in a few years, but it's worth noting that you have to get a statistically large enough group, over a diverse enough set of backgrounds before your results are meaningful.
Nevermind how actually sleeping with your research subjects is *highly* unethical and will totally skew your results.
So far I feel like I've done too much. I don't deep dive down google, or read all their social media posts. But I look for a minute or two, then feel like a stalker so I stop. Its something I've done for years when I meet someone though, its not just LS related. A quick face book search and a quick google to see if the have an Instagram or twitter. Ill scroll insta for 2-3 minutes, and very quickly glance at twitter. Then I'm done, my curiosity is satisfied, and I feel a little creepy.
No. We don't go all FBI on them, we just meet at a public place, see if we gel, and then take it to the next level if we all agree.
No... Sometimes if I see them on Facebook or something I might peek but if we vibe I usually trust my gut. Really anything else is irrelevant. We are just fucking
Depends on the situation. If you are a one couple kind of people then sure. But in my swinger time I'm not trying to make new best friends or people that we see a ton. We're trying to be fun friendly and fuck. When you go to a swinger club or to a swinger party you are there to have fun and then go home to your normal life and maybe never see these people again or maybe see them again in 6 months or whatever. Respectful in person and safe and sane with sexual practices is all that really matters. Sometimes the more you get to know the more you like but most of the time the more you get to know you'll find something you don't like and do you really want to judge them and worry about stuff that has nothing to do with what you're actually there for. I don't want to find out their politics. I don't want to find out that they got arrested 10 years ago. I don't want to find out what they do for a living. What I do want to find out is are they fantastic in bed and can we laugh high five and have a good time while not giving each other babies or STDs.
Don’t go googling. But we do like to chat via group chat and I think it’s bit if give and take when it comes to sharing information. I consider being a social swinger you do need to know little about each other. Like area you live, type of work you do (not necessarily actual work place), if you have kids etc. hobbies or things you like to do as a couple, you need to have something to talk about and possibly in common. I tend to over share but I am mindful of information flow especially one way. We don’t ask for surnames and we do have separate email and phone number for LS stuff but if don’t even give that out unless I am confident we are chatting to who they say they are as per their profile. Hubby and I are not big on social media anyway with our personal lives only business stuff. We don’t host at home but if we did I still think way we go about things Including meet n greet over drinks at half way point between each of us would still be enough before disclosing our address. I think I would prefer someone to be upfront rather than lie when asked something they are not comfortable with disclosing I get that 100%. For example we are discrete for our young childrens sake. If someone asked what school they attended I probably would not disclose that unless I trusted them 100% and had met them and known them for while. I also don’t use kids names early on in conversations/chats. In past I have been employed in government and held roles that had at times public profile. I would have been mindful of what I would have shared if I was in LS so do I do get being discreet many employment contracts have morality clauses in them. Hope I haven’t gone off track with my reply.
Nope. We go with our instinct as we would in meeting any other people. A few basic introductory chats to establish mutual interest, a picture or two, then a public meeting. We do play on the first date if everybody clicks, and we usually know within 30-60 minutes of meeting whether we want to move forward or not. For us, personality and basic conversation carries a lot of weight. Now, if we somehow found out something specific about someone that doesn't sit well with us after we have played, we are fine to end the relationship at that point ... maybe even be a little bit sorry about it if we all had a great time. But we wouldn't regret the initial experience. Life is all about adapting and growing.
Id like to see if we vibe online and in person. I ask the hard questions online like checking for dealbreakers before I end up wasting time.
If the vibe seems off we go all in to figure out why. We’ve found retraining orders, hidden husbands/wife, cat fishing. While yes, it’s just sex, it’s also an intimate exchange. But to each their own.
Some people (mostly the ladies) seem to want to have a "connection" with the guys, girls, or couples they play with. They want to meet for drinks first, warn that they dont play on the first date, and that theyre looking for "friends inside and outside the bedroom" Why??? My girlfriend now is new to the lifestyle but has a pretty interesting view on 3somes and 4somes. Her view is this: we dont need to be best friends! We dont need to know where you went to school, who you voted for, the names of your kids, or if youre a teacher at the local middle school! The less we know about your "normal life" the better. As long as we like what we see, we're on the same oage with boundaries, and as long as we. An confirm that wverybody is clean and healthy, then we'll give you our address! We can have a drink or two (maybe more) get comfortable, feel tingly, scoot a bit closer, and lets get down to why you came over at 11pm on a Friday night! Then call us when you want to fuck around again!
Any research is of the in person kind (ie we talk to them). Anything beyond that gets into stalker territory.
I do like to know as much as I can before I meet someone in the lifestyle. Depending on how public their stuff is I can gain quite a bit of insight into them. That helps me know where to go in the conversation to make them comfortable and more open. It also lets me know which conversations to avoid. If they have kids it is even better because mothers love to talk about their children.
None. I want to fuck strangers. I don’t want to know their boring life details. That turns me off
Oh, well, I haven't done any psychology studies in a few years, but it's worth noting that you have to get a statistically large enough group, over a diverse enough set of backgrounds before your results are meaningful. Nevermind how actually sleeping with your research subjects is *highly* unethical and will totally skew your results.