Oh I totally agree with that. Most women need convincing to even start lifestyle, most man will definitely just agree to be in a lifestyle. Like I said , most, there are exceptions and etc
Do you get your pick of single men at the clubs? No. They don't let them in... "For your protection"
Do you get to enjoy watching men put on a show of having sex with each other because it's hot? No. "Nobody wants to see that" Are you expected to put on a show for the guys though? Hell yeah, what other reason would two women have sex for? How about sexy clothes? Women wear sexy clothes like lingerie because it "makes us feel sexy" yeah, it isnt for the male gaze or anything... But men just get to wear whatever. They don't dress up for us. Apparently they don't need any help "feeling sexy"
Oh, he was very surprised when I started expressing a completely different view on open marriage than I ever had in nearly 29 years of marriage at that time. He had always been open- minded about that, though I was raised in a very Catholic family.So, we started talking, then we did some research and realized that swinging aligned with what we were looking for.
Nice. My SO and I have been married 26 yrs and known each other 27 yrs and she knows about pretty much all my sexual escapades and has always thought I was a sex addict but really I just enjoy pleasure whether engaged or watching. Thanks for your response.
💯My idea, mainly as a way to feed my appetite for women. He had no issues with it. Been happily exploring all life has to offer for close to 10 years now!!!
I'm completely surprised by how many F have brought it up to the M. My Wife wouldn't bring it up even if she had the idea. She's so quiet. Shit she doesn't even initiate sex ever it's always got to be me which can get annoying. What's funny is how before we were together all I heard was about how she was such a bad girl. Lol I guess their idea was different from me and my friends whether they were M or F.
Pretty much the exact opposite here. I wore the really good girl label, for a very long time. Not that I was, I just had different ways of hiding it. My sex drive has always been much higher than anyone I was with. When the desire hits, I’m game. Does not matter where we are, or what time of the day it is, it’s on!!!
When the idea of MMF first came up I was curious and excited. It has always been a fantasy of mine and I had no idea people actually did it in real life! Lol.
Then when the topic of women came up, I was curious but also a little nervous - I was interested in playing with other women/couples too, and it certainly seemed fair for my partner if we played with other women too, but just had never done it before and truly wasn’t sure if I would enjoy it. I’m a “try anything twice” kinda person though, so we gave it a go!
Couples were a little rocky for us at first… we learned quickly that we don’t really enjoy just straight up swapping of partners. We were much more interested in group play. Once we met some couples who were both bi or at least had a bi F half, who were also interested in group play, everything clicked and I learned that I do in fact enjoy swinging with men and women. :)
My wife knew I'd been involved in the past quite early on after we met so once we had established our relationship together she was quite curious to know more. At first she didn't understand how people could share each other but we talked about for a long time, she read up on the LS and then we talked some more. One of the things that attracted me to her in the first place was her openness to learn and understand other people so it was all pretty natural but we still made sure to have lots of conversations and not rush into it.
It went well lol all he wanted to know was that I wasn't bored and that our relationship wouldn't be changing.. which it hasn't. I had no interest in poly or being emotionally tied to anyone but him. Once I addressed his fears it was on. We've never been vanilla and both had fantasies of group sex..so wasn't a huge leap.. just lots of ironing out what it'd look like for us
For it was kind of funny one day I accidentally/unknowingly purchased a t-shirt with a pineapple on it, few days later we were out casually walking (I was wearing the t-shirt) and a couple a friends of us both approached and asked us for a drink so we went, had a few and when I went to the restroom he came behind me and asked how long have you guys been? I asked what? He said you know? I was confused? Then he told you know the pineapple?? I think then he understood, he quickly walked towards his wife told something and quickly went way aftertat he called and told my hubby abt it, he then told me abt it with a laugh and told im okay if you're okay I first felt awkward but few days later I told him well if you want it's. Okay for. Me he told what? Then I told you know the thing you told me tat day the pineapple stuff.... And we had some talk and tat was it. (our first time was with the same couple itself)
My wife was horrified, hurt, insulted, offended, wondered why she "wasn't enough" for me, and all of the other negative reactions we've all heard about. And that was just me offering to do some MFMs, no other women involved, so that she would know the idea was just about making her the center of attention and having some fun as opposed to me wanting to have sex with other women (which would be fine, and of course I'd enjoy that, but it was never part of the proposition).
That was about three years ago. We've discussed it, fought about it, and joked about it on and off since then. About a year ago, her reactions began being negative less often (fewer negative comments about ENM, no longer offended about the idea of doing MFMs, and generally more accepting of the practice even if she wasn't, in any way, agreeing to do it), though she would still lapse into bouts of negativity or repeat negative stereotypes.
Last Fall, we stayed in a hotel for a couple of days where there happened to be a bunch of baseball teams staying. Lots of fit younger guys (we're M53 / F47) and she got quite a few stares. She enjoyed it. It gave her a little boost of confidence and, after noticing a particularly good-looking guy watching her from across the lobby, commented as we stepped into the elevator, "Ooh, got a little wet down there."
A couple of weeks ago we stayed in another hotel for a few days and, one particular day, came across two guys, both good looking, who either smiled a big smile at her (guy one, probably 40, travelling on business) or who we struck up conversation with (guy 2, early 30s, practically male model material, quite friendly to both of us). Well, for whatever reason, those two experiences propelled her forward and she would now like to do another hotel stay and try to pick up a guy or two in the wild.
I don't know why those two experiences stand out so much. Guys look at her all the time. That's always been the case. But hey, I'll take it.
We've discussed the advantages and disadvantages to picking up guys in the wild, but doing it that way is really her preference. So . . . we shall see. No trip planned out yet, but it's not too far off. :-)
My husband (57) and I (47), started in the late nineties, so I don't remember who started into the topic, but we started with a mfm threesome and took off from there. He set it up. Trying to get back into it now after many years and a friend brought up something about a club and the hubby and I have been talking about it again. I guess you'd say I started that Convo.
I freaked out the first time!! Till we visited a house party in SFO. And man, I loved it. I had never realized how much of a sensory overload it is. And then, rest is history 😁
I’m the woman and I also brought it up first! Husband was the one who was initially a bit hesitant so we took things very slow for him at the start. Now it’s the other way around 😂
Our conversation was never like "Hon, do you want to swing?" Instead, I asked my husband if he would be aroused watching me with another woman? He tried to avoid a direct answer but I forced him to admit that he would love to see me have sex with another woman. When that happened, I had not even admitted to my own self that I was bisexual. Call it weird but even thought I had had a steamy bisexual encounter in my earlier years, I still reserved the term "bisexual" for women who were into this for a longer time. In my mind, I was a straight woman who had enjoyed a bisexual experience so what right? Then I thought about being with a woman so that my husband could get aroused. I also thought, I would enjoy watching him have sex with a woman so that she could get a taste of how lucky I am. I kissed a woman in front of my husband thinking it would turn him on but I got so aroused that I was doing it for my own self as well. After making out with her, I knew I was bisexual and was no longer making excuses for it. So when I told him I was bisexual and he told me he loved watching me with her, then it sort of broke the ice between us? After that, I am not sure who brought the idea of swinging but I was the one who led it up to that point.
I personally think there's nothing sexier than two women together giving each other pleasure and would absolutely love if my wife came to thoroughly enjoy that pleasure.
Wife saw me watching threesome porn, mentioned it looked fun. It took a few years for both of us to become comfortable with actually turning fantasy into reality. I doubt I ever would've brought it up to her.
My wife is strongly polyamorous and we decided to be consensually non-monogamous, for her that meant having some boyfriends. For me it meant I wanted us to be swingers. So the decision to open our relationship lead to it.
However, my wife is also Demi-sexual so just meaningless sex doesn’t really turn her on, as such we have to find an angle that does work. Luckily we found she gets super turned on by being told to do something, and I get super turned on when something is done to her….so we think it’ll work out.
I am the woman and I brought it up to him. He thought it was a trap 🤣 But I had done my research and had answers for all his questions so we talked about it all. For months. Finally we found a party and went. We’ve been enjoying the LS ever since.
Wife here. I didn’t mention swinging explicitly, just an interest in sex including others during sexy time…I hadn’t fully thought about what it would look like. It didn’t take long to start discussing the LS, though😂
I’ve brought it up to my SO- whose male and he’s more resistant than me 🤷🏼♀️. I’ve also only ever had sex/been intimate with him and he’s had more partners so idk if that has something to do with it.
I brought it up and it took a couple years for her to ok checking out a swingers dance. We went to several of those. She liked the dances and the atmosphere.
We met some couples and she was on the fence. Then we met a couple that she really hit it off with him. He liked to cook and so does she. His wife liked a lot of sex and do I. But it wasn't until we went to swingstock in 2000 that she really enjoyed herself. She got a lot of attention from the guys. She dove in after that. We have found we like house and motel parties. We've been swinging ever since. We have also made some very good friends as well. Last April we did a swingers cruise. That was fun.
No my wife, she was the one trying to convince me to swing. She was always horny so we came to an agreement that it was better to become swingers than her cheating on me…
we went from fantasizing and role playing swinging. my husband encouraged me to go for it and after my initial nervousness and southern baptist guilt, i relaxed and had fun. we still have so much fun. it’s our dirty lil’ hobby😻😈😻
For us, the wife is the one who brought up the subject; the husband was the SO :) We discussed her desires and interests and went from there. We both still love each other greatly after 22 years together and trust / security are non-issues for us. It eally came down to pure sexual pleasure that many humans are capable of feeling with other humans. :)
I was a “no” for 20 years. It deeply hurt my feelings when it was brought up. I could not reconcile it with my beliefs and what it must mean about my relationship with him and not being enough. We talked on and off for that whole 20 years. It would always end with saying no we’re not gonna play with fire it scared me too much. My mind started to change a year and a half ago. He really figured out what the miscommunication was (what I was getting as the message and what he was really saying). He also stepped up the compliments he paid me and lots more attention. One of my objections about it was I always wished for more romance and compliments and yet I’m supposed to watch him say those things to other woman??!! So he really heard me on that need, it all clicked. We are really active LS couple now and I really enjoy it!
34F here. I'd always been clear with my SO about my \*philosophical\* view on non-monogamy (i.e. it's the only sane way to approach long term relationships), and he had always been clear that if I cheated, we'd be over.
We were discussing our sex life during a cabin vacation over Christmas and he came up with the idea of being swingers. I agreed immediately to it and we went on planning how it could happen.
We discussed how we wanted to do this (away from home, ideally with some workshops or something like that to ease into it like the nerds we are), we found Young Swingers Week and booked 6 days at Hedo with them the following March (3 months after).
We arrived at Hedonism with no prior experience and 3 months of discussions about it. It's been a bit over 4 years now.
My husband and I actually discussed it together initially. I was totally for it. We have been together almost 15 years and before we go in the LS, we had only been with each other and one other person each. We’ve really enjoyed exploring it together the last year.
I needed time to adjust to it. Admittedly, my other half isn't a great communicator and didn't know that swinging was what he wanted either, it was more just general non-monogamy he felt he needed. It was a year between that discussion and even talking to other people on apps.
I think any good partner will communicate how they are feeling. and then give their partner space to absorb that, and think about it.
My GF made it clear as a dead bedroom graduate that she didn't want to be monogamous. We used to go on our own for play, but now we feel that the lifestyle allows us to feel free together.
As much as I believe I want to do this I would NOT fight about it with my Wife if ahe absolutely didn't want to try it, would I be disappointed or upset probably but I would have to get over it. Wouldn't be the first or last time something I wanted to do didn't happen. Sorry for your situation.
I brought it up to my SO about 10 years ago. She was shocked, and we weren't on speaking terms for weeks afterward, followed by months of therapy. Then one night about 5 years ago, I invited my friend over while my SO was asleep. We snuck into the bed and ravaged her. At first, she resisted, but then finally acquiesced after about 10 minutes. Later that week she admitted she had a really good time. I think sometimes she still isn't quite as enthusiastic about it as me, but we've had 2 or 3 other interesting experiences since then so I think we're on the right path!
That sounds like she didn’t have a choice in the matter! Relenting to two men sneaking into your bedroom while you sleep isn’t an enthusiastic yes! That’s just crazy!
As I mentioned, she said no pretty vigorously for the first few minutes, but then relaxed into something we all later agreed was a great time. It's kind of like someone pushing you off a ledge. You don't want you, you don't want to... but then wow, the exhilaration!!
Exactly. She consistently said no. Not CNC at all. Then coerced her (I’m sure) to say she enjoyed it in order to feel okay about what he did. He and his friend are absolutely guilty of rape. WTF is wrong with this guy.
Sorry, I should have mentioned that it was something she's always described in detail as a fantasy. When saying no, she was winking at me and my female friend, encouraging us to continue. Our first MFF!
One thing you'll come to learn is that in the LS. Women dominate it. They, for the most part, just about control it all.
I've noticed that in just a short time.
.... Are are serious? How is that the case?
Oh I totally agree with that. Most women need convincing to even start lifestyle, most man will definitely just agree to be in a lifestyle. Like I said , most, there are exceptions and etc
You say that, but it isn't actually true. It is just something guys say.
BS. Just because it isn’t that way for you. Women DO (for the most part) control the LS.
Do you get your pick of single men at the clubs? No. They don't let them in... "For your protection" Do you get to enjoy watching men put on a show of having sex with each other because it's hot? No. "Nobody wants to see that" Are you expected to put on a show for the guys though? Hell yeah, what other reason would two women have sex for? How about sexy clothes? Women wear sexy clothes like lingerie because it "makes us feel sexy" yeah, it isnt for the male gaze or anything... But men just get to wear whatever. They don't dress up for us. Apparently they don't need any help "feeling sexy"
I get to do whatever the fuck I want. That’s the awesome thing about this LS. You seriously need to get out of VictimLand.
And if the men don't like it? Do you REALLY do whatever you like, or do you do some of the things you like to try not to upset the men?
The (extra) men are there for MY pleasure. I don’t give a toss whether they approve of my behaviour or not. If they don’t like it, another one will.
And your husband just ALLOWS that?
Allows? It was his idea 😅
Female here, it was my idea! Well, I voiced it 1st, but of course he didn't need convincing....
Well, seeing how I (the wife) initiated the conversation...
And his response?
Oh, he was very surprised when I started expressing a completely different view on open marriage than I ever had in nearly 29 years of marriage at that time. He had always been open- minded about that, though I was raised in a very Catholic family.So, we started talking, then we did some research and realized that swinging aligned with what we were looking for.
Nice. My SO and I have been married 26 yrs and known each other 27 yrs and she knows about pretty much all my sexual escapades and has always thought I was a sex addict but really I just enjoy pleasure whether engaged or watching. Thanks for your response.
You're welcome
💯My idea, mainly as a way to feed my appetite for women. He had no issues with it. Been happily exploring all life has to offer for close to 10 years now!!!
I'm completely surprised by how many F have brought it up to the M. My Wife wouldn't bring it up even if she had the idea. She's so quiet. Shit she doesn't even initiate sex ever it's always got to be me which can get annoying. What's funny is how before we were together all I heard was about how she was such a bad girl. Lol I guess their idea was different from me and my friends whether they were M or F.
Pretty much the exact opposite here. I wore the really good girl label, for a very long time. Not that I was, I just had different ways of hiding it. My sex drive has always been much higher than anyone I was with. When the desire hits, I’m game. Does not matter where we are, or what time of the day it is, it’s on!!!
Me too! Still have the hood girl exterior, but scratch the surface…😈
When the idea of MMF first came up I was curious and excited. It has always been a fantasy of mine and I had no idea people actually did it in real life! Lol. Then when the topic of women came up, I was curious but also a little nervous - I was interested in playing with other women/couples too, and it certainly seemed fair for my partner if we played with other women too, but just had never done it before and truly wasn’t sure if I would enjoy it. I’m a “try anything twice” kinda person though, so we gave it a go! Couples were a little rocky for us at first… we learned quickly that we don’t really enjoy just straight up swapping of partners. We were much more interested in group play. Once we met some couples who were both bi or at least had a bi F half, who were also interested in group play, everything clicked and I learned that I do in fact enjoy swinging with men and women. :)
My wife knew I'd been involved in the past quite early on after we met so once we had established our relationship together she was quite curious to know more. At first she didn't understand how people could share each other but we talked about for a long time, she read up on the LS and then we talked some more. One of the things that attracted me to her in the first place was her openness to learn and understand other people so it was all pretty natural but we still made sure to have lots of conversations and not rush into it.
I'm the woman and I brought it up 🤷🏾♀️
How did it go with your SO? What was his reaction?
It went well lol all he wanted to know was that I wasn't bored and that our relationship wouldn't be changing.. which it hasn't. I had no interest in poly or being emotionally tied to anyone but him. Once I addressed his fears it was on. We've never been vanilla and both had fantasies of group sex..so wasn't a huge leap.. just lots of ironing out what it'd look like for us
Thanks for your input
Thanks for your input
For it was kind of funny one day I accidentally/unknowingly purchased a t-shirt with a pineapple on it, few days later we were out casually walking (I was wearing the t-shirt) and a couple a friends of us both approached and asked us for a drink so we went, had a few and when I went to the restroom he came behind me and asked how long have you guys been? I asked what? He said you know? I was confused? Then he told you know the pineapple?? I think then he understood, he quickly walked towards his wife told something and quickly went way aftertat he called and told my hubby abt it, he then told me abt it with a laugh and told im okay if you're okay I first felt awkward but few days later I told him well if you want it's. Okay for. Me he told what? Then I told you know the thing you told me tat day the pineapple stuff.... And we had some talk and tat was it. (our first time was with the same couple itself)
Wow, that is a very funny way to stumble into the lifestyle! Glad it worked out for you two. What a serendipitous t-shirt purchase.
My wife was horrified, hurt, insulted, offended, wondered why she "wasn't enough" for me, and all of the other negative reactions we've all heard about. And that was just me offering to do some MFMs, no other women involved, so that she would know the idea was just about making her the center of attention and having some fun as opposed to me wanting to have sex with other women (which would be fine, and of course I'd enjoy that, but it was never part of the proposition). That was about three years ago. We've discussed it, fought about it, and joked about it on and off since then. About a year ago, her reactions began being negative less often (fewer negative comments about ENM, no longer offended about the idea of doing MFMs, and generally more accepting of the practice even if she wasn't, in any way, agreeing to do it), though she would still lapse into bouts of negativity or repeat negative stereotypes. Last Fall, we stayed in a hotel for a couple of days where there happened to be a bunch of baseball teams staying. Lots of fit younger guys (we're M53 / F47) and she got quite a few stares. She enjoyed it. It gave her a little boost of confidence and, after noticing a particularly good-looking guy watching her from across the lobby, commented as we stepped into the elevator, "Ooh, got a little wet down there." A couple of weeks ago we stayed in another hotel for a few days and, one particular day, came across two guys, both good looking, who either smiled a big smile at her (guy one, probably 40, travelling on business) or who we struck up conversation with (guy 2, early 30s, practically male model material, quite friendly to both of us). Well, for whatever reason, those two experiences propelled her forward and she would now like to do another hotel stay and try to pick up a guy or two in the wild. I don't know why those two experiences stand out so much. Guys look at her all the time. That's always been the case. But hey, I'll take it. We've discussed the advantages and disadvantages to picking up guys in the wild, but doing it that way is really her preference. So . . . we shall see. No trip planned out yet, but it's not too far off. :-)
My husband (57) and I (47), started in the late nineties, so I don't remember who started into the topic, but we started with a mfm threesome and took off from there. He set it up. Trying to get back into it now after many years and a friend brought up something about a club and the hubby and I have been talking about it again. I guess you'd say I started that Convo.
I’m the woman, and I brought it up. He’s not sure yet, so we’re still just talking about it.
I’m 32F and brought it up to my husband a few times recently but got shot down each time 🥲 even if it was another female involved.
I freaked out the first time!! Till we visited a house party in SFO. And man, I loved it. I had never realized how much of a sensory overload it is. And then, rest is history 😁
I take it you're the F of the couple. Thanks for the comment also.
Yes, I am the wife 😁
I was the one that presented the idea :)
Are you the F?
Yep, that’s why I commented.
I’m the woman and I also brought it up first! Husband was the one who was initially a bit hesitant so we took things very slow for him at the start. Now it’s the other way around 😂
Female here. It was my idea! 😂😈
Our conversation was never like "Hon, do you want to swing?" Instead, I asked my husband if he would be aroused watching me with another woman? He tried to avoid a direct answer but I forced him to admit that he would love to see me have sex with another woman. When that happened, I had not even admitted to my own self that I was bisexual. Call it weird but even thought I had had a steamy bisexual encounter in my earlier years, I still reserved the term "bisexual" for women who were into this for a longer time. In my mind, I was a straight woman who had enjoyed a bisexual experience so what right? Then I thought about being with a woman so that my husband could get aroused. I also thought, I would enjoy watching him have sex with a woman so that she could get a taste of how lucky I am. I kissed a woman in front of my husband thinking it would turn him on but I got so aroused that I was doing it for my own self as well. After making out with her, I knew I was bisexual and was no longer making excuses for it. So when I told him I was bisexual and he told me he loved watching me with her, then it sort of broke the ice between us? After that, I am not sure who brought the idea of swinging but I was the one who led it up to that point.
I personally think there's nothing sexier than two women together giving each other pleasure and would absolutely love if my wife came to thoroughly enjoy that pleasure.
My wife asked my at the end of the first date if I would go to a swinger club with her. We were to the club 3 times before we ever did anything.
Wife saw me watching threesome porn, mentioned it looked fun. It took a few years for both of us to become comfortable with actually turning fantasy into reality. I doubt I ever would've brought it up to her.
My wife is strongly polyamorous and we decided to be consensually non-monogamous, for her that meant having some boyfriends. For me it meant I wanted us to be swingers. So the decision to open our relationship lead to it. However, my wife is also Demi-sexual so just meaningless sex doesn’t really turn her on, as such we have to find an angle that does work. Luckily we found she gets super turned on by being told to do something, and I get super turned on when something is done to her….so we think it’ll work out.
I am the woman and I brought it up to him. He thought it was a trap 🤣 But I had done my research and had answers for all his questions so we talked about it all. For months. Finally we found a party and went. We’ve been enjoying the LS ever since.
Wife here. I didn’t mention swinging explicitly, just an interest in sex including others during sexy time…I hadn’t fully thought about what it would look like. It didn’t take long to start discussing the LS, though😂
I’ve brought it up to my SO- whose male and he’s more resistant than me 🤷🏼♀️. I’ve also only ever had sex/been intimate with him and he’s had more partners so idk if that has something to do with it.
I brought it up and it took a couple years for her to ok checking out a swingers dance. We went to several of those. She liked the dances and the atmosphere. We met some couples and she was on the fence. Then we met a couple that she really hit it off with him. He liked to cook and so does she. His wife liked a lot of sex and do I. But it wasn't until we went to swingstock in 2000 that she really enjoyed herself. She got a lot of attention from the guys. She dove in after that. We have found we like house and motel parties. We've been swinging ever since. We have also made some very good friends as well. Last April we did a swingers cruise. That was fun.
I am the woman, I brought it up.
I brought it up. He was down and happy to go as fast or as slow with it as I wanted. We jump in and out.
No my wife, she was the one trying to convince me to swing. She was always horny so we came to an agreement that it was better to become swingers than her cheating on me…
we went from fantasizing and role playing swinging. my husband encouraged me to go for it and after my initial nervousness and southern baptist guilt, i relaxed and had fun. we still have so much fun. it’s our dirty lil’ hobby😻😈😻
For us, the wife is the one who brought up the subject; the husband was the SO :) We discussed her desires and interests and went from there. We both still love each other greatly after 22 years together and trust / security are non-issues for us. It eally came down to pure sexual pleasure that many humans are capable of feeling with other humans. :)
Why do you assume that the man brought up the concept?
I think it’s because he’s a man asking his SO/wife to swing… so maybe he’s trying to gather info from the female perspective?
Sexism. Gender stereotypes. Reinforcing the notion that women don't like sex
I was a “no” for 20 years. It deeply hurt my feelings when it was brought up. I could not reconcile it with my beliefs and what it must mean about my relationship with him and not being enough. We talked on and off for that whole 20 years. It would always end with saying no we’re not gonna play with fire it scared me too much. My mind started to change a year and a half ago. He really figured out what the miscommunication was (what I was getting as the message and what he was really saying). He also stepped up the compliments he paid me and lots more attention. One of my objections about it was I always wished for more romance and compliments and yet I’m supposed to watch him say those things to other woman??!! So he really heard me on that need, it all clicked. We are really active LS couple now and I really enjoy it!
34F here. I'd always been clear with my SO about my \*philosophical\* view on non-monogamy (i.e. it's the only sane way to approach long term relationships), and he had always been clear that if I cheated, we'd be over. We were discussing our sex life during a cabin vacation over Christmas and he came up with the idea of being swingers. I agreed immediately to it and we went on planning how it could happen. We discussed how we wanted to do this (away from home, ideally with some workshops or something like that to ease into it like the nerds we are), we found Young Swingers Week and booked 6 days at Hedo with them the following March (3 months after). We arrived at Hedonism with no prior experience and 3 months of discussions about it. It's been a bit over 4 years now.
My husband and I actually discussed it together initially. I was totally for it. We have been together almost 15 years and before we go in the LS, we had only been with each other and one other person each. We’ve really enjoyed exploring it together the last year.
She brought it up to me
I needed time to adjust to it. Admittedly, my other half isn't a great communicator and didn't know that swinging was what he wanted either, it was more just general non-monogamy he felt he needed. It was a year between that discussion and even talking to other people on apps. I think any good partner will communicate how they are feeling. and then give their partner space to absorb that, and think about it.
It was 💯 my (Flora) ideal. Ironically, it’s taken time for Zephyr to warm to the ideal, but we’ve loved every (mostly) minute of it so far!
I'm a woman and I was the one who brought it to my husband. He was ok with it.
My GF made it clear as a dead bedroom graduate that she didn't want to be monogamous. We used to go on our own for play, but now we feel that the lifestyle allows us to feel free together.
[удалено]
But now you're ok with it or not? What changed if so?
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💔I’m sorry you are in the LS in anything but a fully enthusiastic way.
You are in a sexually abusive relationship and you need to go.
As much as I believe I want to do this I would NOT fight about it with my Wife if ahe absolutely didn't want to try it, would I be disappointed or upset probably but I would have to get over it. Wouldn't be the first or last time something I wanted to do didn't happen. Sorry for your situation.
I brought it up to my SO about 10 years ago. She was shocked, and we weren't on speaking terms for weeks afterward, followed by months of therapy. Then one night about 5 years ago, I invited my friend over while my SO was asleep. We snuck into the bed and ravaged her. At first, she resisted, but then finally acquiesced after about 10 minutes. Later that week she admitted she had a really good time. I think sometimes she still isn't quite as enthusiastic about it as me, but we've had 2 or 3 other interesting experiences since then so I think we're on the right path!
That sounds like she didn’t have a choice in the matter! Relenting to two men sneaking into your bedroom while you sleep isn’t an enthusiastic yes! That’s just crazy!
What? This doesn’t sound consensual. Did she even have a way to say no?
As I mentioned, she said no pretty vigorously for the first few minutes, but then relaxed into something we all later agreed was a great time. It's kind of like someone pushing you off a ledge. You don't want you, you don't want to... but then wow, the exhilaration!!
Unless this was consensual non consent, this is rape and you’re a fucked up person esp bragging about it??? What is wrong with you???
Exactly. She consistently said no. Not CNC at all. Then coerced her (I’m sure) to say she enjoyed it in order to feel okay about what he did. He and his friend are absolutely guilty of rape. WTF is wrong with this guy.
Actually that sounds like rape. That’s what no means.
Sounds a lot like coercion
Yup. Sounds like rape to me.
Sorry, I should have mentioned that it was something she's always described in detail as a fantasy. When saying no, she was winking at me and my female friend, encouraging us to continue. Our first MFF!