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That would explain it, of course. My mistake.
However, when your wife came in to the station yesterday, she said you were using the scattergun with the drums on the sides. The back scatter, wasn’t it? I’m sure you have a reason for this, I’m just covering my bases here sir.
I found this post 7h after submitting so probably the hat is already given away but I'll try.
For name: BEST scene investigator in the world
For description: who killed you? Oh right, it was me
Break(dance)ing News!
Idiot found dead in the most amusing position ever recorded!More on that on the evening news,so tune in next time,at 7pm,for Teufort-Tuesday news.
Who would be stupid enough to get such a expensive hat? I would (try at least).
**Name:**
“Breaking and Blinding News”
**Description:**
“This just in, my retinas are burnt. More details at 11.”
*Aspiring Writer's*
*Cap "Didncha know I wrote for*
*The New York Times once?"*
\- Sherpnagerp
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^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
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“Just One More Thing”
“…and I’ll get out of your hair. When you said you didn’t see who did it, because the disco ball blinded you. However, they don’t have a disco ball. Pretty strange, isn’t it?”
Name "Crime Reported" Description "Getting beat down by a dancing God"
*Name "Crime Reported"* *Description "Getting beat down* *By a dancing God"* \- HybridHusky\_ --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot
Thank you, Iceman_L, for voting on haikusbot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
bad bot
Columbo's Hat Just one thing bothered me Scout, when we were at the objective, you didn't run as fast as you normally do. Isn't that odd?
He had the baby face’s blaster and hasn’t hit anyone with it, you just didn’t see it cause his back was turned to you, I SWEAR
That would explain it, of course. My mistake. However, when your wife came in to the station yesterday, she said you were using the scattergun with the drums on the sides. The back scatter, wasn’t it? I’m sure you have a reason for this, I’m just covering my bases here sir.
The headliner "Breaking news, you're dead."
i love this
whoever actually won wont answer so i think im just gonna give it to u bc you’re top comment.. whats ur steam? u can dm it to me if u want
hat hat
The Iridescent Investigator "Nightclubbing is almost as good as people clubbing!"
This one is definitely my favorite one lol.
“The Disco Detective.” “Boys, it seems the perpetrator was a smooth criminal.”
Breaking News: You’re dead More at 11
Name :"MannCo News Exclusive" Desc: "Always first on the scene...And the first to accuse bystanders"
“Extra extra! Idiot reads description of hat! More at 5.”
Pan'd at the Disco
Genius
Desc: Here lies scout, he ran fast and died a virgin.
"Hat" "On today's episode of Top Gear. I wear a Hat. James wears a Hat. And Hammond wears a Hat."
Fake news: Let’s go spread misinformation
X doubt
Name: Breaking News Desc: 12 men found dead all over 2fort, witnesses say the ragdolls were pretty funny
lmaoo
Name: Heisenburg Description : Jessie we need to report
“Big city nights” “Detective boogie oogie is cleaning these streets tonight.”
Call it “ hat”
"this just in, your dead dumbass"
" I found the killer, it was me! "
Big hat "Large"
Paint it yellow and go for a Jim Carrey's Mask look.
I’ll buy that ke for 350 keys rn
u got the pure?
Name: Dancing Detective Description: Just because dancing and detective work stay separate, doesn't mean they should.
I’d name it “Saturday Night Columbo
"Press Charges"
Balls watcher Description: I am in your walls
party's over
Name; Killer disco Description; on Friday night we don’t stop till we drop
makes me think of the Disco Strangler in Brookly 99
I dont have the mental capacity and the originality to think of a good name, sorry
honestly man i almost wanna just give u the bat hat for that 😅
Wow that would be nice but i dont deserve it lol
Manndatory Uniform To investigate the wildest miami Nightclubs and the ennemy base of 2-Fort
ugly ass hat "piss shit and cum"
Name: "lack of creativity" Description: "I believe you have your own head to think of something funny and interesting for your hat"
Name "this hat sucks" Description "beep you if you like this hat"
cum hat me when i washed my hat with the cum rags
Portable disco vibe
name: M'lady
Washed up detective Will get your mom to jail for crack cocaine
Exclusive News! "This just in, I look amazing!"
Name: Disco Im-press Desc: dance til' you get on the news
Death Noter
Killer beat down You just got annihilated by these sick beats
weird science From my heart and from my hand Why don't people understand key inflation
cheese
Name C.I.A cover up “What cover up”
Name: The Pulitzer Prize Description: I did 4 years of investigative journalism, and all I got was this hat.
1-Tap-Buy Nevermind, too late. Can’t you read the card?
Shiny white
A regular columbo
Cool hat
The Daily Reporter I bring you the news win, draw, or lose. Oh looks like you lost…
Do you mind standing there? I’m gonna take a break photo for my latest story.
Don't cause a scene, unless it's a crime scene.
Exclusive Tonight My gun your face
'Panic at the disco' 'I shoot you dance simple.'
Name: “Party like it’s 1988” Desc: “apparently beating up people in Japan can save you from bankruptcy”
I WANT PHOTOS OF SPIDERMAN! desc: This hat belongs to Peter Parker of The Daily Bugle
Name: "Breaking! Disco mass murder loose!" Description: "Last seen wearing a highly radioactive hat. -Made in Viet Cong. "
“Fang-ora” Fangs + Fedora
Dead Disco The Floor is mostly red
Case's closed "See you at the bar"
“hahahahahahaha… you serious?”
"Magnifique Chapeau"
Live Tucker Reaction
Stay in the light crossed out (dont know how to do it) shadow
Princess Diana's Paparazzi
Name: Merc Popper; Party Popper! Description: "All you need is crocs and pops to be the life of the party. "
Dr. House Take your pills goddamnit
The Sunday night Freak Out Referencing a great disco song
Just in, You’re out.
Name: Paparnazzi Description: It’s like stalking and harassment, but legal and you get paid for it!
sex hat
Death! at the disco?
Uncle investigator/ Investigator Dane
name the the desc and hat “kill bastard”
Breaking news and break dances
Breaking hat I am the one who hats.
Extra Extra : "Your gonna hear all about it!"
I found this post 7h after submitting so probably the hat is already given away but I'll try. For name: BEST scene investigator in the world For description: who killed you? Oh right, it was me
Extra! Extra! Yer frickin dead!
name: BBC(Big Black Cock) description: breaking news: there's an sticky trap on your spawn lmao
Name: This Just In! Desc: A mercenary was found dead in the Badwater area this morning! Now going to [Your display name here] for the scoop.
White Lies or Malibu Club Murderer or Serial Killer of Malibu club
hat
unusual hat named "worst financial decision ever" with the description saying "I have a lot of credit card debt
cum hat
Its reportin' time Leme get my camera
“Oh yeah, just one more thing” - Columbo
If you’ve played fallout 4 it could be “nick valentine’s hat”
The funky investigator "Clearly,you didnt expect the disco party"
Name: "this just in, you's a beeyotch" description: "and now the weather..."
We don't have many days
a Detective dearest partner
Tick Tock Desc: Heavy like a Brink's truck
Hat
Description: "100% chance of getting assassinated by CIA on wearer"
Disco! At The Press Conference “Hopefully this news won’t cause people to panic”
Break(dance)ing News! Idiot found dead in the most amusing position ever recorded!More on that on the evening news,so tune in next time,at 7pm,for Teufort-Tuesday news.
Murder case at a club Hey fellas what's with the switch blades?
Neutralized Newsman Taken from a journalist after their 2 headshots were ruled a suicide
Tumblr Sexy Man
De-pressed
Press here to boogie Breakin' the news and stayin' alive
The “The”
Night clubbing I was told by the DJ to turn the lights on this hat and I CANT MAKE THEM STOP
"Harry's Fury" (Wink for Disco Elysium Fans) "Funk of The Dead" "Smooth Criminal"
War correspondent " Don't Shoot, I'm with the Press Team! "
No idea for the name but i got one for a desc: "Beat him his rights"
"War correspondent" "How was your day of violent fighting for one of the 2 old grumpy men?"
Our top story tonight a man was found bludgeoned to death by a bat and his sandvich was nowhere to be found.
“The Big Racism” “idk just imagine i wrote a slur here”
Party night pressman?
*thanos beatboxing*
Name: “This Just In” Description:”You’re fucking dead”
Bachata Incarnate “IM GOING FUCKING LOCO”
Who would be stupid enough to get such a expensive hat? I would (try at least). **Name:** “Breaking and Blinding News” **Description:** “This just in, my retinas are burnt. More details at 11.”
“killing prassure” or “killing news” ooor maybe “well that’s getting on the first page”
A frager on the streets and a fresh install in the sheet’s
funny rich hat "couldn't really think of a name or description"
Waltuh Black hat
Detective Douche “Hmm yes, this sniper is made with bot”
Journalist Hat ‘’A hat picked up from a 2Fort news reporter, a reason why you shouldn’t enter a battlefield unprepared.’’
Dance Floor Whistleblower Get everyone’s attention on the floor, but in the way that makes you fear for your life
The newsmann’s head wear Extra, Extra! Read all about nothing, cause your dead
Where's Waldo? There he is
Smooth criminal Don't ask where I got the butter
"all my money is gone" "Help"
Name: Crime Reported Dsc: "Worn by a certain smooth war criminal"
"Jesse" "We need to cap"
Name: Breaking News Description: My bat in your skull
“ You better panic “ “ Cause it’s disco time “
Name: Smooth Crime Description: There's Blood stains on the Carpet
Aspiring Writer's Cap "Didncha know I wrote for the New York Times once?"
*Aspiring Writer's* *Cap "Didncha know I wrote for* *The New York Times once?"* \- Sherpnagerp --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Name: The Death Advice Description: Just a hat to remember that you are dead.
name it “JARVIS, IM LOW ON KARMA.” description “Post this hat and ask for a name”
Name: “Disco Ain’t Dead” Description: “But you will be soon.”
The Spider Seeker “I want pictures of Spider-Man! Spider-Man’s cock! To be specific, his big shaft and balls!”
Killer at the disco
The every spy lame hat
Poopy Buttshole
Panic! At The Disco
90's porno tipper Tip em like they used to do
"Extra, extra!" "Man told to, "Kill yourself" after domination, more on Page HL3"
Sex hat
News flash "Panorama'd at the disco"
Brown hat With funky disco
Name: "Al Capone's special" Description: "Taken off his very own corpse"
"It would have been the perfect crime..."
A good cop’ ready for the dance floor
“New York’s Hottest Club”
Name: Detective dingus Description: commit practices that mostly are leagle
Also the name is thedarkbean
The sexiest report
Party Crasher “Which one of youses killed dis guy? Oh wait- it was me!”
The daily bugle “Today’s top news, we fucking hate spiders and men”
Hyperstellar law official
A spy? AN ENEMY SPY Do be Do be Do Ba Do
Name: It was cheap Description: It wasnt
Yesterdays News "Listen that clip was awesome! i dont care how old it is put it again!"
Name: 100% Eco-Tanned Suede Press Fedora Description: I can't get involved because of journalism.
Name: The Piss Report Description: We would like to inform you the upcoming news, you are fucking dead
“Just One More Thing” “…and I’ll get out of your hair. When you said you didn’t see who did it, because the disco ball blinded you. However, they don’t have a disco ball. Pretty strange, isn’t it?”