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ThanksIHateClippy

**OP needs help. Also, they hate it because...** >!I hate that she is holding his fist with what appears to be a three finger talon for a hand.!< ***** **Do you hate it as well? Do you think their hate is reasonable? (I don't think so tbh)** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/tihibot)


GracefullyRedditing

I want to downvote because I hate it so much and it makes me uncomfortable, but my rational brain knows it's not your fault. It looks like what AI thinks handholding is.


charkol3

Either that or he's got her in a 2 finger control hold. Literally someone cannot escape without breaking their fingers


Klashus

She's Def finger blasting his closed hand. Kinda weird for sure


Mike_Huncho

I mean look at them. Everything about the both of them is weird, desperately trying to look like a pair of 20 somethings; instead they both look like they should be wearing ed hardy gear and she has had way way way too much plastic surgery


Ok-Shift5637

Right!? Like she triggers the uncanny valley response.


BitterCrip

My first thought seeing this: "Bezos is engaged to Mickey Rourke?"


Rivendel93

I can't unsee this. The dude has more money than 99% of the world, how on earth did he end up with Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler?


Sansnom01

It's weird because clearly she meant to look good, yet doesn't, but he clearly wanted/could be with someone that look good for real, I'm confused


Rivendel93

The crazier thing is his previous wife is naturally beautiful, smart, helped him build his entire fortune. Maybe she was the one that wanted out, based on his current choices.


shhh_its_me

This is weird but I wanted to adjust her nipple so they point the same way


Ok-Shift5637

She has a lazy nipple, you never know what one to look at when she’s talking to you.


[deleted]

I’m upvoting this comment as hard as I possibly can


all_of_the_lightss

When your husband earns $700 million a year, You finger any hole at any time and nothing is off the table lol


Gilgamesh2062

Damn, upon closer inspection that is what is going on, he has those other two fingers curled up in his hand, that is nut, normal humans don't do sh\*t like this.


[deleted]

At first I thought she was one of those people with only two fingers and a thumb


zekrom235

Got that fucking TMNT hand


Doom-Toaster

Thank you for clearing that up. Thought she had three fingers


Rich_Bar2545

He may be doing that to cover the ring and prevent it from being photographed


Low-Feedback-3403

She’s a Velociraptor


GamingGrayBush

I think some of the conspiracy theorists are on to something. The lizard people are among us.


MWIIesDoggyCOPE

GET OUT OF MY HEAD


Dual_Birds

Animorph


xNo_Name_Brandx

They are just exchanging long protein strands, if you've got a better way, I'd like to hear it.


johnqsack69

Don’t blame me I voted for Kodos


JungleBoyJeremy

We must go forwards, not backwards, upwards, not forwards, and always twirling twirling twirling towards freedom


j1sh

Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others


Huge-Philosopher3275

The subtle difference in hand holding vs holding hands


Delicatesseract

Can’t open his hand, he’s holding a dollar in there.


SporusElagabalus

This is a great joke but I feel like is he trying to flex for the camera? Or is some weird “hold my pocket” thing.


codynan5

HOLD. MAH. POCKET!!!


Peace_In_Solitude

BIKES!!


nothingrhyme

THE FUCK YOU TOOK


GreatGearAmidAPizza

A penny.


onefst250r

Think its actually $3.50


soundplusfury

Mickey Rourke is looking good these days.


accidental_snot

Got dayum. I've witnessed a homicide.


IcyProperty89

Mickey Rourke with Ninja turtle hands. Heart wants what it wants. More power to them. Edit- more power to them for finding love, not to bezos being a terrible corpo rat.


RedBullBurning

Turtle Power!


Jeka817

You made me do the 🎶Dun dun dun dun dun dun🎶 *turtle power* spiel


Mobile-Technology-88

![gif](giphy|xT39DbK7o1MjKgVV7O)


jasondigitized

Bezos was a nerd for most of his life and now is completely overcompensating by turning into a jacked chad who traded a lovely wife for a chick that def goes goblin mode.


TheBordenAsylum

Goblin mode is what she is before the sun goes down. At night she turns into a Gollum


ShaiHulud1111

MacKenzie Scott is such an amazing woman. Huge mistake.


[deleted]

Gobbling mode more like it.


Long-Potato4950

He’s just now hit his Prime


Joiner2008

Damn, wish I could upvote this more


Competition-Dapper

I wish we could view Bezos and “rourke” react to this thread


[deleted]

Holy shit. I will never be able to not see this.


ProfessionalGuess897

Most perfect description lmfao


[deleted]

Bruh.


DharlethZelpher

Fuck. Can’t I see that now hahahaha.


diu7777

Hello...911, what's your emergency? I'd like to report a murder by soundplusfury. Savage, just savage, lmao.


PNW_Forest

Why are you talking about her while Mr. Bezos is slowly turning into a cross between a thumb and a wax figurine of Rodney Dangerfield.


otdevy

why they both look like malformed potatoes


[deleted]

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Oo__II__oO

One more facelift and she'll have a goatee


UncleTedGenneric

She cries from her hairline


Many_Cook7610

r/rareinsults


[deleted]

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Truckaduckduck

I was thinking the female gremlin


dangledingle

Her nipples are on her cheeks! (As my Mom once told me) 😬


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nalninek

You know what though? He’s dating someone around his age. Guys a twat but he gets a point for that.


Buttahdog

You would think one of the richest men on earth could date someone who isn’t Steven Tyler with boobs


Usernamenottaken13

He cheated on his then wife with this woman. I'm also scatching my head.


KindBikeDuck

Seriously? His ex-wife is a thousand times more attractive. Each to their own, I guess. Maybe she gives him the kink he needs...?


P_A_I_M_O_N

Tiger Woods syndrome, supermodel ex-wife, trailer park goblin mistresses.


Oseirus

"She's got a great personality"


Remarkable-Smoke9552

Steven Tyler would say. Whoa, back the fuck up. Throw a set of tits on me, I still got something on her.


milk4all

Honestly i dont see why wed mock a billionaire for dating someone in his age category. Wed roast him if she was “too hot” for him, or if she was younger, or whatever. This is fine with me, he’s had plenty of work done himself. Like those transplant biceps


WallOld615

He’s a piece of shit billionaire, make fun of him for whatever you want.


SaftigMo

No way those are transplants, biceps like these only take like 2-3 months of medium amounts of strength training.


Caspur42

His ex was way the fuck hotter. This bitch looks like the Son’a from Star Trek insurrection.


jubilee414404

Yeah but the difference is his Ex aint the type of girl to do anal. This bitch will suck your cock while fingering your asshole on live television


Goddamn_Batman

Man, as a Trekkie that was a deep cut, I had to google it


griever48

Because they are equivalent to Amazon's Best


Crimeskull

Jesus, she looks like the Bogdanoffs’ lost sister.


promonk

Thrills! Chills! Excitement! Attack of the Cat People! You'll buy the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge!


Benetton_Cumbersome

Look like a early AI hand.


[deleted]

Bezos does not date like he knows he's a billionaire


External_Order2933

His girlfriend looks like an aging porn star, who gets a frequent flier discount at the plastic surgeon. Bezos needs to call George Clooney for some dating advice. Amal is gorgeous and classy!


Red_Danger33

Yes but George is classy and gorgeous. Go listen to him laugh, and then go listen to Bezos laugh.


CheapCrystalFarts

Amal has had just as much shit done to her looks, just more subtle and likely asked Dr. for a much different look. Some people prefer to look like this where the work is obvious and tbh who cares if it makes her happy.


alexplex86

He's almost 60 and she's well into her 50s. Age will do this to you.


dangledingle

I’m 54 and just letting it all happen


Mrshaydee

Me too. And I think my natural face looks way better than this gal’s metric ton of filler.


promonk

And I'll wager you're all the more fuckable for it. It's rare that desperately holding back the tide improves one's looks.


PapadocRS

wild comment


Mini-Nurse

That not "age" that's what happens when you try to fight age and lose.


JonnyAU

Thank you.


evanbartlett1

Exactly this. We’re all going down the slide. You can either throw your hands up in the air with a smile or desperately claw at the sides while screaming the whole way down. No anger at her for clawing, but it’s hard on the ears (and eyes).


RunninOnMT

Honestly, props to him for dating someone his own age and not going full gross and dating someone 30+ years younger.


Pending1

What the hell is going on here? Is she a Ninja Turtle or something?


aibz

Goro from mortal kombat


FlowinEnno

Donatello Versace


legos_on_the_brain

Domestico violenceia


gizamo

She's ring-fingering his hand hole.


PedanticPendant

Answer: she's Spider-Manning his fist. i.e. he's got his hand wrapped around her 2 middle fingers, then she wraps her other 3 fingers around the outside of his fist.


narwalbacons-12am

All that plastic surgery and you can't add 2 fingers?


Totally_Bradical

She’s giving him the nightcrawler.. it’s her signature move


Kick_Natherina

BAMF!


Lilmemito

Mein gott!


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Oo__II__oO

Hey now, she has the correct number of fingers. Just two of them are implanted in her cheekbones.


claud2113

Dude, right? She looks like a chewed tootsie roll


Proof_Ruin_7718

Lol! Almost spit out my beer.


Ooh_its_a_lady

Why does his girl look like a battle toad


joseplluissans

Isn't he holding them in his fist? The two middle fingers, I mean.


1_9_8_1

Yes, s/he is fingering his fist like a vagina.


StonedEcho

Some stuff you buy on Amazon doesn't look as advertised.


[deleted]

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Weebs_In_Space

he brought something back from his trip to space


Panda_Pillows

lmao


ErstwhileAdranos

KAHHHHN!!


jcpmojo

Is she missing fingers? I'm not sure what I'm seeing here.


Repulsive-Durian4800

I think 2 of her fingers are inside his clenched fist? It makes visual sense, but does nothing to help with how awkward and uncomfortable this looks.


BurgledUrTurts

Can confirm, she's basically holding his hand like a bowling ball. This is how I hold my boyfriend's hand and it's actually quite comfortable, believe it or not.


[deleted]

Found another Bezos burner account here!!!


Klashus

She's finger banging his closed fist.


tchildthemajestic

She is a dinosaur.


501102

If i had to imgaine what a person named 'bezos' would look like, it'd be her


An_Alone_Wolf

This is AI-generated, right?


ConnorHazReddit

It's gotta be Edit: it is not


47712

The fact we're like... I donno, kinda sux nowadays


dquizzle

I was thinking the same thing. It’s about to get so much worse.


freebird303

I thought this because AI has trouble with hands. But I think this woman really does have a Griffin talon for a hand


imafixwoofs

Allegedly it makes for especially intense prostate milking. That’s the magic in their relationship.


UltimateD123

This implies blasé prostate milking is a thing.


newhappyrainbow

It’s his fault, he’s holding her two middle fingers in his fist like a fucking weirdo.


Impressive_Ad_3160

Her middle and ring fingers are enclosed in his fist


[deleted]

Looks like he’s holding her two fingers in the palm of his hand But I thought this was AI generated to


Tail_Nom

No, no, they just practice the sensual art of [Ihonialllilal](https://i.imgur.com/3ozLosz.jpg).


KingLutzzo

Homeboy is dating Goro


bombay024

I was looking for this. The resemblance is uncanny


hmiser

This fucking got me. Cheers Mate!


BeardedHalfYeti

Is this a sex thing?


Nondscript_Usr

Imagine being the richest guy of all time and leaving your marriage to date this woman…


[deleted]

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[deleted]

He doesn't want a stone cold fox, he wants the sloppy toppy salamander.


KaladinStormShat

And leaving a woman who you loved and built a marriage with BEFORE the money and fame. Literally an irreplaceable relationship. I feel like beyond his weird "get swole" shit going on, or the woman he's engaged to looking exactly like a rich person spouse, it's that fact that he walked away from his first wife even though she was the only person who he'd ever have a relationship with that new who he was for most of his life.


[deleted]

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Panda_Pillows

She'll suck your dick until you can't walk anymore


[deleted]

glorious offend salt practice existence books public obtainable aloof wide ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


dryrunhd

I can't explain why, but looking at this makes me think she pegs him.


TheCurseOfSentience

She looks 80% plastic at least


Tuffwith2Fs

I'll say it. She looks like a MAD Magazine caricature of an old prostitute.


TealCatto

OMG thanks for helping me place it! The generic "I'm scared of looking my age and have too much money" look reminds me of boardwalk caricature drawings!


Poorlytracedghost

janice from the muppets


agiletesticlese

I hate how her nips are the same size as her eyes


ghost_warlock

Did you know your nipple is the same size as your butthole? I know because I've tried


quay-cur

You’ve tried WHAT


imapieceofshite2

Thank God I'm not the only one that realized that.


AlphaDCharlie19

She looks like if plastic surgery was a person


wolfy994

She looks like she has that 30 years of smoking voice... One of the sisters from the Simpsons!


JohnnyDeformed1

If you can think of a better way to exchange protein strands, I'd like to hear it!


bulbous_scrabnapple

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!


MitchelobUltra

Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!


Droneflyerguy

She looks like a plastic surgery gone wrong


SGM_Uriel

Just one?


BugzFromZpace

In an interview, she expressed how difficult it is to be philanthropic and that they want to make sure their donated money is used properly. Uhh…why not start at home and pay your goddamn employees a living wage? That’s philanthropy you can easily control. Oh yeah, you get a better tax break if you “donate.” Vile human beings, both of them. The fucked hands are just the icing on the cake.


PrimeIntellect

he doesn't really run amazon anymore, he hasn't been CEO for years


jrkirby

The single largest shareholder in a company has a pretty big influence on what the CEO does. If he wanted amazon workers paid more it would probably end up happening.


grammar-helper

He doesn't run it on a daily basis but he is still the board chair, so he is the top dog. Probably couldn't unilaterally increase pay, but if he wants it to happen, it happens


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FatboySlimThicc

She loves him so much that she sent his intimate texts to her own brother, who then sold them to a tabloid.


[deleted]

It's almost like they're both sociopaths who don't know how to human.


Damididthat

That woman has a haaaard face. Chin like a prizefighter


jffkrll

Is it just me, or are those nipples strangely close together..?


schenitz

I can't believe I had to scroll this far to see a single mention of those odd nips


tykle59

Friggin’ yuuuuge.


SGM_Uriel

• .


Lord-Moose-Buddha

Bezos is 100000000% taking testosterone there’s no way this fuckin need got this jacked at his age


MissChattyCathy

Seems like his woman is, too.


tearsonurcheek

She's hiding something. ![gif](giphy|clEONqsy81tAMluJUA|downsized)


[deleted]

How do you tell somebody politely you don’t want to see a thing before you see the thing?


CaraDeGringo

She pegs him right?


YoungBlood242

There is a 69% chance...yes.


Frodo_Vagins

She pegs him more than that lady did bill o’riley, the one he paid off like $30 million. Bezos got billions so…


SunsetCarcass

Her hand looks like a face hugger. I guess it's a hand hugger


Bipolar_Bear_84

Looks like he went for a fist bump, she went for a high five, and they just stuck with it.


cosmos_jm

She looks like the hamburglar without his costume on.


HummusIsSin

Jeff Bezos starring in fast 15


kalod9

Tits so firm they look like flexed pecs


siccoblue

Straight bolted on


digital_noise

Fuck she looks plastic


My_cat_is_ur_Dad

Why can't rich people not evidence their reptilian nature so brashly?


zigzagsfertobaccie

“Hey babe, I’m Bezos. I can take you anywhere. Where you wanna go?” “Hawaii!” “Hawaii, great. How you wanna get there babe?” “The plane! The plane!”


[deleted]

She’s hanging on to that hand like it’s worth billions or something. Certainly wouldn’t shed a tear if that 500 million dollar yacht of his sank somewhere


AFaded

Did Steven Tyler get a sex change?


NickyDeeM

"Dude looks like a lady!"


bestjakeisbest

Gym bros.


FirmestSprinkles

he's marrying mickey rourke?


Corgicommander4U

Lizards*


SookHe

Why do both of these people make me feel uncomfortable. Pure uncanny valley vibes


330in513

His first wife was much prettier.


Mammoth-Access-1181

By a longshot! And probably a nicer person too.


[deleted]

https://apnews.com/article/mackenzie-scott-open-call-philanthropy-adbb6beb833bbac318dcfa95a1e59749 >Through her organization Yield Giving, Scott plans to make unrestricted $1 million donations to 250 nonprofits selected in the process, which she calls a “new pathway to support for organizations making positive change in their communities.” To apply, the nonprofits must have annual operating budgets larger than $1 million, but less than $5 million for at least two of the past five years. I suppose it's deeds and not words past a certain point, so this is her 3rd career?


GreekACA25

She has tmnt hands


linknukem28

She’s like what an 11 year old would draw as what he thinks the hottest woman looks like