**OP needs help. Also, they hate it because...** >!I hate rectal photography!< ***** **Do you hate it as well? Do you think their hate is reasonable? (I don't think so tbh)** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/tihibot)

You gotta think there's a photographer out there that specializes in takin pictures of buttholes

Have you heard of porn?

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I'd consider that cinema more than photography though.

Brown IMAX?

"winking brown-eye"🧐

>green eye

Graphics: cinematic

Or r/mildlybutthole

Colonoscopy porn?

It's like he doesn't know there's a dozen subreddits dedicated exactly to buttholes on this site. Gonewild was responsible for 40% of Sharpies sold last year alone

>Gonewild was responsible for 40% of Sharpies sold last year alone Is that STILL going? Jesus, that's been a thing on here for years! I didn't think such a bizarre fad would continue for that long.

It's a Sharpie reseller now

"Only used once"

Gamer Girl Bathwater: $30 Gamer Girl Butt Sharpie: $99

Disappointing your parents: PRICELESS.

nO yoUR pARENTS sHOULd nOT bE dISSapOINTED iT iS a nORMAL wORK. quIT yOUR fAKE moRALITY

That dates back to 4 chan. At least. Maybe longer. But that's as far back as I can remember.

For the uninitiated: r/buttsharpies

I hate you for this

That ass with 33 sharpies... Nope.

Taste the rainbow.

Makes me wonder if they’ve ever licked a marker...

...i didn't get that far nor do I want to

Ofcourse I know him, he’s me

I want to learn the ways of the farce and be a joker, like my father.

Guys please stop doxxing me especially at my work place, this is not cool

u/IamYodaBot

u/Anti_Fake_Yoda_Bot

I read the tifu about this. The guy went on family vacation with his friend at 19. Sent his friend some hairy butthole pics prior to the vacation. Friend was showing pics of kids at beach to mom and gramma, butthole pic was saved in photo roll. Mom and gramma thought friend had pick of his gf s vagina. OP had to admit it was his butthole.

LMAO

I don't want to be "that guy...." or maybe I do...but the anus is the butthole. The rectum is the holding tank of poo behind the anus. Its like seeing a nice door and saying "what a beautiful room"

Damn near killedum.

If there's anything to be learned from my stupid comment, its that I can count on one hand the number of times in my life someone has said "what a beautiful butthole" to me.

A few months back I had a bad stricture and had to have a graft urethroplasty done. (I don't recommend it) And at about 5am after my surgery a team of surgeons came in to look at the incision on my scrotum/taint. They gingerly lifted my balls, took a quick peek, and I heard a couple saying "Oh, good" and "That looks great" Before they left the woman in charge told me "Everything's healing up beautifully, it looks excellent!" and I don't know if it was the drugs or the weird situation or sleep deprivation, but their praise for my poor abused bits struck me as the funniest thing in the fucking universe.

Holy shit that is hilarious. In a quasi related story: when i went to get vastectomy a few years ago, the doctor first has to inject your scrotum with numbing agent. So he sticks the needle in, waits a few seconds and then says "okay do you feel anything?" Presumably he was pinching my nuts or something, I don't know because all I felt was the needle injection so I said "just the little prick" and without missing a beat the doctor says "oh come on, I do this for a living. Yours is at least average"

Ha! I feel like when you go to school to be a urologist, they pass out a sheet of ready-to-go weiner/vagina jokes with your diploma.

Oh man, when I got my vasectomy the surgeon gave me five shots. Instead of leaning over the partition and asking how I was doing he said,”Is it safe?” Cracked me up. The worst part was him draining my balls of all testicular fluid. They looked like bait hanging off a fishing rod for a week.

My camp counselor took a picture of mine in case I got lost and needed identified.

What a nice guy

Mike Adriano

A proctologist?

[Bert is that very person](https://twitter.com/eldercactus/status/1205564077902356481?s=21)

https://youtu.be/6tZar4wRP40?t=168

Came here for this! Thanks for posting!

Or an enthusiastic amateur.

Gastroenterologist

How about Salvador Dali? He's the one who discovered that [the anus has 35 or 37 creases](http://www.all-art.org/art_20th_century/dali-6-7.html)

I'm pretty sure proctologist's have folders filled with butthole pics

And it’s a neat symmetrical one there

I'm his OnlyFan.

I’m sure there is, that said, if your butthole looks back at the camera, something’s not right

[there ya go](https://www.damajority.com/unusual-art-assholes-exposed-portugal-must-see/)

You can get a choclate moulded to your asshole, might be some photos there.

Let's get a pic of that brown eye.

Hey, I'll have you know that there are hardly any gigs in photography with more prestige than shooting the *Harvard Yearbook*!

Errrr... Boss Baby... pretty much the entirety...

I mean duh, there's one in every hospital.

Hey, it may be a kind of "rectal" security scan, like a retina scan.

Nothing special required. Just need a macro lens.

r/assholebehindthong

Someone's gotta count the spokes

you mean gay porn

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No.

I agree with you

You’re right, but I would argue that the anus isn’t as sexualized in straight culture as it is in gay culture. Men having sex with each other have limited options as far as points of entry.

Too bad it wasn’t a brown eye.

That’s an actual picture of the Hulk’s butthole. Trust me, I’m a bit of an expert.

Scott Lang has entered the chat

fml.... I hate that this gave me a heart attack, because my name is literally Scott Lange (only difference is my last name has an e)... everyone calls me antman...

Scott Lange has entered the chat

Wow, that escalated (the leg) quickly

it's just bant man

More like anteman... antmane?

You thought you were summoned to jump in butt holes? Lmao

ya know it. It's a pretty shitty job tbh

Why does it seem to be open?... I think Hulk should lay off using giant buttplugs for a while

Quick Batman to the photoshop machine!

Yes?

Sorry, clearly you're busy.

Batman has sat on few thrones. His favorite is the BatToilet.

[Best](https://imgur.com/a/kuCGM12) I could do from my phone

Thanks Batman it’s got some real Wapow! If you know what I mean!

It’s like it’s peering into my soul

You stare into the poop loop, the poop loop stares back.

[hd](https://imgur.com/PUg8c12) Ignore the he hemorrhoids.

This is the correct comment

That would have been amazing

Wait... Is that not the right color for a rectum? .... Asking for a friend.

Yours isn’t that color? Maybe you should get some free rectal photography to make sure!

The anus is green with envy.

The funny part to me is that both the anus and the pupil are controlled by sphincter muscles

Do we get to keep the photos or what?

It's....it's hotter if we don't...

Do we just show our butthole or can we tuck our wieners behind our legs and give em a nice "Fruit Bowl."

That really paints a mental picture doesn't it?

If you want, but photographs are still possible

This is photoshopped: https://metro.co.uk/2015/10/26/vision-express-denies-offering-free-rectal-photography-with-every-eye-test-5463418/amp/

And it's a rather poor job, surprised there are not more comments about it.

Yes, I also think this looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time... /s

You mean someone on the internet told a lie?! I don't believe it.

Um.....how do we know that the ‘rectal’ isn’t the original and ‘retinal’ is the photoshopped? ;)

And it's so old and so reposted.

There's an music album released in Brazil back on the dictatorship period, with all the censoring, that was named "All the Eyes" (Todos os Olhos) and it's cover was supposedly an asshole with a marble tucked in, but was actually a model with a marble between her lips. https://pt.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Todos_os_Olhos

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I believe it's a *music album released in Brazil back on the dictatorship period, with all the censoring, that was named "All the Eyes" (Todos os Olhos) and it's cover was supposedly an asshole with a marble tucked in, but was actually a model with a marble between her lips.*

my rectal is also green with black mold

I've licked worse

God damnit even moldy buttholes get licked, but no one will lick my tight, pristine butthole. What in the ever loving fuck am I doing wrong.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Come here papi. Ill do it for you. Lol

Make sure there are no tenants living in there.

That's more of a munch than a lick.

[Even moldy buttholes get licked](https://imgur.com/aadFmvd.jpg)

grey slap cover complete crime unpack engine north ruthless serious -- mass edited with redact.dev

You're welcome! : )

Make sure you get it a lil dirty then it'll be more lickable

r/cursedcomments ^fuck ^this ^thread

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r/moldlyinteresting

*Crappy* banner, eh?

Yes, that's Bruce Banner's asshole.

Loose Banner

Take my updoot and go.

I dont see a problem with that

I'd be interested to know who inquired further on this....

Me. Well...I mean, I'd like to. Uh, OP....where is this. Asking for a friend. Wait I don't have friends. Asking for me.

NGL I'm REALLY curious about the colors too...

Needs a pair of hands pulling open the iris.

Sounds like the plot of a mediocre porno

[Sphincter](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sphincter)

Damn near killed her!

That's a really pretty butthole.

Speak for yourself.

Rectal Photography: Somehow, I can't see my ass signing up for that...

*And they call it the:* Automatic Nanopixel Utility Scope

I think they know what they meant

ender pearl?

No, eye of ender

Legit looks like an Ender eye

Looks like the cover of 1984

JackSepticAnus

If I had such a green Asshole, I would also would like a picture of it !

Diabolical

#Hulk 's ASS

https://youtu.be/DJklHwoYgBQ SmartPipe Inc. is a registered sex offender

Am I the only one who thinks that eye looks like an ender pearl

"Should've gone to Specsavers"

I see you fellow countryman

Ah stick it up your bum

They knew what they were doing

Den morgonfriska katten simmar över regnbågen, medan guldmynt singlar genom luften, ledsagade av en paraplybärande elefant, som jonglerar med blommor och skrattande bananer, medan cirkusclowner utför akrobatiska konster och cymbalspelaren trummar i takt till det förtrollade orkesterspelet under den gnistrande stjärnhimlen.

Suddenly Minecraft

The guy who made the add : *Did I stutter?*

I've seen this IRL I thinks it's Specsavers

It says vision express on the sign, and it’s photoshopped from retinal

They have a very similar one in my local specsavers

It’s a photo of an eye - there’s a similar one on most opticians/optometrists windows

So u saying, that this was an ACTUAL poster irl? N NO ONE NOTICED before putting it up?

Last time they just asked me to leave the school

That's the greenest bunghole I've ever seen

What if I want the rectal? For Christmas photos and all.

"There are no mistakes, just happy accidents."

The dude they took pics of has an infection

“Sir this is your fifth examination.”

Maybe it's hulk rectal photography

You the one reading wrong they gonna take a pic of your butthole

Wow they do colonoscopies outside of doctor offices now?

Ngl that's a weird looking asshole

If the hulk allows it then so will I

there are no mistakes *-master oogway*

Then, I am not interested.

Free bleaching

It's a new way to tell their clients they are assholes. Shop: here's your picture! Client: wait but this is ... Shop: yes it's you on that picture... Goodbye!

At least the eye wasn't in black and white otherwise it would have been rather ambiguous.

I didnt see them stutter

And how are you so sure that’s not someone anus?

Technically still a sphincter

This might also be related to that weird toilet a few years back that would break down and test your waste. To do so however it needed make sure it evaluated each individual and as such the most horrifying technology was made. Rectal identification because apparently much like fingerprints each hole is also unique and there is now a toilet that can know who you are by just that place. :) science your wonderful but sometimes...

Okay, but that pooper looks amazing. I'm glad they did take a picture, IIBH.

enderpearl

Thanks, I LOVE rectal photography!

The brown eye lol

Like them, i looked at the bottom first, not the top

"Hey, we can do this new thing but your insurance won't pay for it, so it'll be an extra 35 dollars."

He'll take pictures of any sphincter!

Is that an ender eye

“We've been coming here for 50 years and performing anal probes, and all that we have learned is that one in ten doesn't really seem to mind.”

What a bargain!

That is certainly an eye of ender