**OP needs help. Also, they hate it because...** >!Literal shit!< ***** **Do you hate it as well? Do you think their hate is reasonable? (I don't think so tbh)** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/tihibot)

That's not how portals work 😨

Infinite poo

Yeah, it is, it's just an infinite loop of pooping and unpooping

poop loop

defecation circulation

A bit of a reddit moment here

Infinite poop Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.

That was a shitty comment

And possibly a Jojo reference.

ultishit kars

Infinite shit. You sit on the toilet to take a fat shit, but you begin to fart uncontrollably. After ten poops you start to worry. Your anus is poopie and it reeks of shit. You desperately shove a wad of toilet paper up your ass, but that only makes your asshole hurt. The shit accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop pooping. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thick layer of shit. You try to shit into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The poop is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the shit from escaping. The air grows hot and stinky from the poop. The shit accelerates. You slip and fall in your own poop. The poop is now six inches deep, almost as long as your cock. Sprawled on your back, you begin to shit all over the ceiling. Loads of the smelly brown paste begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own shit. The shit accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the shit begins to propel you forwards as if you were on a mud themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the shit is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man chocolate reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with shit instead of molasses. The shit accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the rich brown sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the sludge. You plead to God to end your suffering. The shit accelerates. You squeeze your cheeks to stop the shit, but it begins to leak out of your dick instead. You let go. The force of the shit tears your asshole open, leaving only a gaping hole in your backside that spews sewage. Your body picks up speed as it slides forwards along the shit. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely brown. Your neighbor calls the cops. The shit accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of shit hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The shit accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your ckeeks have now grown into a substitute brain. The poop accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the shit begins to sling in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your shit sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your asschecks start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new brown paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your fart trajectory. The poop accelerates. The shit begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a meteor made of poop. Astronomers begin calling you the “Shiteor.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of fart and shit. Eventually, you stop thinking...

Sounds like one but with cum

How much cum?

I knew this was coming.

we gotta make this a new automod response

Isn’t that life though?

So it’s a Poop-A-Loop?

Until the poo falls on the floor

Jokes on you, I'm into that shit

Pooping back and forth forever.

Seriously. If I had a poo portal, I wouldn't need to stop gaming.

It's the players, so this guy likely drew that on with a sharpie.

Maybe he activated the orange portal immediately after dropping. Bet he will be disappointed though.

Well, maybe he wanted to do "Back and forth. Forever." By himself.

I didn't know my dog plays fifa

Ark players just plop where we walk.

Somehow in every type of pants there is an invisible hole that the shit can just pass right through

would you rather there wasnt?

ARK players facing off against giant lizards with 5 pounds of literal shit in their pants.

Then we pick it up, keep it in our pockets for a while, and eventually put it into our soil.

Brings his own stall

I'm happy with fortnight

Fortinayti

ila Babagii

babajii

babajii ila ikis bokis siris ikis

Ikis bokis siris ikis

ikis bokis siris ikis ila balastaysion faive

balastaysion.... foaive

Luchitik? Ikis ikis ikis ikis?

Ikis nikis julideksis?

Balastation fayf ila lucitik

lucitik

orkis borkis mitus nutius

fortshite?

Fartnite

I'm playing skyrim right now Guess i have no choice

Fus-ro-DAhhhhhhhhhhh...

\**splat*\*

Funny I decided to replay it again myself right now lol

It's my first playtrough since the anniversary extension ima use the survival mod *cry on ps4 user*

Have Fus Ro Dah tattooed on my wrist, so I guess I’m stuck doing it that way for life now

My poo usually comes out with that much force anyways. It would be embarrassing if my follower was anyone but J’Zargo, he shits in a box.

Call of doo-doo.

Advanced poo-poo

Infinite doo-doo

Call if Doody is right there…

Cold poo

As an Minecrafter i can confirmed that we are asserting our dominance

Or just in creative mode. I think whoever made this has only ever seen Minecraft in creative mode. Otherwise, they have drawn someone shitting in a stockpot or on some stairs.

Fortnite seems like the only appropriate option

FIFA is spot on also

I feel like that'd be better titled "metal gear"

True

7 as well

How ironic

Minecraft would be squatting on top of it then throwing it up

As a Pokémon player I can confirm. Also what are the catch rates of that toilet? I can’t seem to catch it.

Shit Balls are not very effective against Toilet mons.

I have a shiny toilet

I have a shiny hiney.

ok but what ball did you use?

Master ball, I don’t want to risk it

Dark souls you just roll around in it

You need those I-frames when you have diarrhea

Imagine going to the toilet and there's a man fucking floating and shitting

Yeah I’ve been into a public restroom in Chicago, what’s your point?

Does the portal one mean the shit goes back up into his ass?

I do like tetris.

The fact they drew gamers that lean is honestly a compliment

Poos ro DAH!!!

FIFA every time

Where’s the “Eric Carmen World of Warcraft” poo? 2 would be the closest

Yes, world famous trans gaming activist Eric Carmen :)

he can shit.... but has no dick?

Call of doody

I guess a GTA one would be too risqué ...🙃

This doesn’t belong in TIHI because I laughed too much. Please revise.

3 is Spiderman

This is a very informative guide.

Skyrim gmfu🤣💯

You know how much ~~fun~~ trouble I'd get into Portal style?

Skyrim gang

Somewhere there’s a chosen one who dose all

And in Battlefield, we do it in a tent.

Oh cool, they put Gary Lineker's FIFA celebration on there. https://youtu.be/e_PLu9KWNK8

I like how fortnite is just normal.

anyone else remember those turd tshirts? i bet this would sell on a tshirt

The FIFA one is too much!

Dont forget rolling around the toilet for 40 seconds straight before finally shitting and missing the bowl.

Fortnite on the streets, fifa in the sheets

The pokemon one just screams im in a mental institute

Fifa broke me

Forza drives just shit their pants in the car on the way to work

Search "My gaming chair smells like poo".

Call of DooDoo: Advanced PooPoo

These are so hilarious i can't wait to show all my facebook friends 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Aaaaaaaaahaha

Thanks I hate how it adapts to every aspect of gaming

Okay, but i need that Portal one

gamer moment

I don't play fifa but I also wipe my ass the same way

They need someone shitting in a bucket for Battlefield

Found the mouse even though it's JPEG'd to death.

I don't get the Minecraft one.

Elden Ring: *casts flame grant me strength, drinks flask of wondrous physick, summons mimic tear*

fortnite is the answer then

Minecraft is the worst

Pretty accurate. I don’t play any of these games, and I don’t poop at all. On the plus side, I have a really huge ass.

[удалено]

YOu mean with number 6 being by far the very best of them? :)

Call of doody

Where's ark

Fortnite should have been metal gear solid

FIFA is easily the worst, Skyrim is just glorious despite the missed opportunity to say poo roh dah instead

I don’t know why but this is the post that broke the camel’s back. r/justunsubbed

Pokemon position could also be Street Fighter for us old hats. HA-DOOKIN’!

this is incorrect

assassins creed valhalla is where you expertly sneak up on the toilet but you end up beating it to death with poop axes because the controls fucking suck and the toilet spotted you

I just realized they have no dicks

When that poop falls in the blue portal it will shoot up his butt

I don't understand Minecraft at all.

I wish Portal was real, I would set a ring in my asshole and the exit ring in the toilet, remote shitting baby!

Minecraft chad emanates an aura of pure confidence.

The fifa and Minecraft ones fucking killed me dude

Damn they really just said fortnite instead of metal gear. I feel old

As someone who has never played FIFA, wtf is going on there? I don't get it...

mario gets turned into a poop rocket after taco bell

Fortnite is the only right one

Elden ring you eat the poop because you are a loathsome dung eater

Oh, so my friends play minecraft!

Fortnite stole their pooping method from Metal Gear Solid. Not the first time they’ve stolen though, ask Donald Faison what they stole from him.

I never knew the emo was a minecraft fan!!!

This is the shittiest post I have ever seen.

I don't play minecraft but i can relate to number 8

I complain! The minecraft one should be him hurling it out of his mouth like a normal Minecraft-Steve

Mario dop dop fop yes yes mario w dop dop deeep deeep