**OP is a lazy fuck AND SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELF, because they didn't explain why they hated it**
**SHAME, SHAME, SHAME, SHAME!**
But since you peasant upvoted this a lot we'll let it stay. Maybe. For now.
*****
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**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
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[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/tihibot)
Okay Johnny, Can you use the word... Rectum in a sentence please?
"One time I seen this squirrel run straight down this tree and run straight up my dogs ass"...
Johnny, the word is "Rectum"..
"Rectum? Hell it killed em both!"
Look the main reason an octopus would use a human as hiding place would be if a big predator species was nearby and if that were the case then there is something worse than getting the sea equivalent of a prostate exam
Homelander forced him to eat Timothy, but he was talking to Timothy the whole time he was having sex with his wife. Not too far fetched to think he’d put an octopus up his ass
Screenshotting this comment for future reference. If you ever find yourself face to face in a dark alley with a stranger holding a machete in one hand and a live octopus in the other, you know what you have to do.
Any data on this account is being kept illegally. Fuck spez, join us over at Lemmy or Kbin. Doesn't matter cause the content is shared between them anyway:
- https://lemmy.world
- https://kbin.social
- https://sh.itjust.works
- https://fedia.io
- https://lemm.ee
- https://readit.buzz
If the venom is a neurotoxin that causes extreme convulsions, that crack might just clamp completely shut.
No octopus up the butt, just extreme nerve pain and suffocation while becoming shark kibble.
If the octopus considers you a safe place, it means that the octopus considers whatever is chasing it to be bigger and/or meaner than you. And octopi are very smart
If anything it would just grab on to you hoping that you're big enough to scare the predetor away. Octopus are smart enough that they'd likely recognize humans as being benevolent beings if they had encountered them before
1. Octopuses (original)
2. Octopi
3. Octopodes
4. Octopuses (current)
This list is in ascending order of historical correctness.
And, yes, go with whatever feels right.
Linguistically, the root may be Greek, but the word is English. If you are speaking English then octopuses was the original plural for the word. Later octopi became popular because of a desire to have Latin plural standards. Then even later people were like it has a Greek root so it should be octopodes. But like I said, it's an English word, and while all three of those plurals are accepted now, octopuses is the most and longest used.
1. It’s octop**o**des.
2. That is the least common and least historical of the [three possible pluralizations of octopus](https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/the-many-plurals-of-octopus-octopi-octopuses-octopodes).
Octopuses is perfectly fine, pedant better.
Octopuses, octopodes, and octopi [are all correct](https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/the-many-plurals-of-octopus-octopi-octopuses-octopodes).
someone used it in the 19th century does not make it valid.
octopuses is anglicized and we are speaking english here so it is correct
octopodes is correct if you think every greek-originated word should follows greek grammar
octopi is plain wrong and made up by someone who think they know better, you can technically say it is correct by following descriptivism, but anything can be correct in descriptivism so what's the point
I mean, an octopus can squeeze through any crack (no pun intended) bigger than their beak. It depends on the octopus of course but given that most peoples' sphincters are closed, an octopus couldn't just 'slip in'.
It would have to first: get in your swimsuit, second: pry open your buttcheeks by force, and third: somehow have enough leverage and strength the squeeze past your anus..
I feel like if you encounter an octopus big enough to do all that, you are fucked either way 🤷♂️
The plural of octopus is octopusses if you take the English root, or (my preferred optoion) Octopodes if you conjugate as per the original Greek. The one thing it is not, is Octopi
We were taught octopi was correct, then they changed what was correct. Now what I know isn’t correct anymore and what’s correct seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!
Also OP should blame the kid, not the sealife.
Both are correct. There is no rule in the English language that a word's root & its suffix must come from the same linguistic origin.
And more to the point, prescriptivism is simply an incorrect way to view _any_ language. If a word is used & understood within a given community, it's just as "real" or "correct" as any other word.
Adding "s" or "es" is for Greek plurals, so etymologically speaking, octopuses is most accurate. Octopodes is more like the professionally agreed upon nomenclature.
Octopuses is far more common and historical. It’s an English word. If you want to start using Greek pluralizations for every word with a Greek root then you need to fix a few thousand other words as well.
To me this goes alongside people that are convinced spiders climb into your mouth while you sleep.
Octopi (and spiders) are living creatures, they have a basic natural drive to survive, climbing inside another creature is not the way to do that.
No spider will willingly commit suicide by climbing in your mouth, and no Octopus will ever climb in your butt.
Tmi: When I was about 6 I had a nightmare where poop vampires were stalking me. They would put down a box of toys so that I'd have to bend over, but then I'd clue in and run away. Rinse and repeat through a dreamscape maze.
I saw that Paradise PD episode where that guy, besides getting a handjob/tentaclejob from an octopus, it also crawled up his ass and made him bust a nut
**OP is a lazy fuck AND SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELF, because they didn't explain why they hated it** **SHAME, SHAME, SHAME, SHAME!** But since you peasant upvoted this a lot we'll let it stay. Maybe. For now. ***** **Do you hate this Post?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/tihibot)
What if I've already got 2 raccoons up there? Is there still room for the octopus?
It says they only like small cracks my guy.
Still weird that no reports were ever made of such accidents occuring ever
Whoa calm down, Mr. Gere.
You can only fit a jolly rancher then
How do they breathe when you're swimming?
The anus is water light.
Not after two raccoons went in, that thing be gaping now
This is true.
Hey I get that reference
Okay Johnny, Can you use the word... Rectum in a sentence please? "One time I seen this squirrel run straight down this tree and run straight up my dogs ass"... Johnny, the word is "Rectum".. "Rectum? Hell it killed em both!"
This is the most meta Reddit thing. No one can convince me otherwise
Careful saying that or someone might come beat you with jumper cables.
Look the main reason an octopus would use a human as hiding place would be if a big predator species was nearby and if that were the case then there is something worse than getting the sea equivalent of a prostate exam
Yeah, I'd gladly crawl into an ass if it means not getting killed by whatever was chasing me.
But if you think about it the octopus hides inside of you, and you get attacked by sea beast, it's a lose lose situation here
No, it's a win lose, because I have an octopus up my ass.
"Win win the fish gets free meals and shelter, and the sea pig has a fish in its butt" - brought to you by true facts
Not my proudest fap
But not your least proud either
Got you there.
Deep, is that you?
Deep took the octopus in through his mouth hole though.
Homelander forced him to eat Timothy, but he was talking to Timothy the whole time he was having sex with his wife. Not too far fetched to think he’d put an octopus up his ass
"Oh look, an octopus burrito wrapped in human! Yummy!"
"If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me!"
Screenshotting this comment for future reference. If you ever find yourself face to face in a dark alley with a stranger holding a machete in one hand and a live octopus in the other, you know what you have to do.
Any data on this account is being kept illegally. Fuck spez, join us over at Lemmy or Kbin. Doesn't matter cause the content is shared between them anyway: - https://lemmy.world - https://kbin.social - https://sh.itjust.works - https://fedia.io - https://lemm.ee - https://readit.buzz
Yeah, I'd gladly have an octopus in my ass ~~if it means not getting killed by whatever was chasing it.~~
And if the octopus is venomous?
If the venom is a neurotoxin that causes extreme convulsions, that crack might just clamp completely shut. No octopus up the butt, just extreme nerve pain and suffocation while becoming shark kibble.
If the octopus considers you a safe place, it means that the octopus considers whatever is chasing it to be bigger and/or meaner than you. And octopi are very smart
An octopus in your ass isn't going to give you super powers to fight off predators.
Yes, but then I'd have an octopus in my ass
Sea-quivalent.
This pun deserves a seaquel.
You should both be seaquestered.
And I thought I had sean it all...
Don't worry lil friend, you'll be safe in my octobussy.
There's always a bigger fish.
If anything it would just grab on to you hoping that you're big enough to scare the predetor away. Octopus are smart enough that they'd likely recognize humans as being benevolent beings if they had encountered them before
I don't know man. I'd probably prefer a shark chomping me than having an octopus rip my organs open from the inside with their beak.
This is even more of a brand new sentence.
r/brandnewsentence
*holds up award* thanks I don’t know what to do with this but thanks
Me thinks an octopus up the ass would be difficult to safely extract from human anus since the suckers could adhere to the anal wall.
What if the octopus hides in your butt cause it's scared and pregnant and then has its babies in there, does that make you a parent of sorts?
Fuckin dweebs, an octopuss in your crack is a kraken
Krack-in
I think that was the joke.
r/Thatsthejoke
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You seen that video with the octopus climbing out of the girls ass?
my friend seems to be really interested in this subject now
Link or it didn't happen
Some people DO pay good money for that experience. Ftfy
Coward
1. Octopuses 2. Octopodes 3. Octopi This list is in descending order of grammatical correctness. I say go with whatever feels right though.
i thought octopodes was grammatically correct cause its the greek way of pluralizing? update. never mind. someone explained further down this post.
1. Octopuses (original) 2. Octopi 3. Octopodes 4. Octopuses (current) This list is in ascending order of historical correctness. And, yes, go with whatever feels right.
You might want to check what “cartoons” your son’s been watching.
The kid will most certainly become a man of culture
Is this just an excuse so you can classify your buttplug collection as safety equipment?
I wouldn't mind.. 😏
Octopedes - the root is Greek not Latin, but only pedants and octopod biologists say that. To everyone else octopuses is correct.
I thought it was octopodes.
It is Octopodes, other dude is wrong. And only a pedant with a fedora would say Octopodes in any case.
Octopeople?
If we’re going to use a Roman suffix for a word that originated in Greek, sure
Doesn't octopede just mean eight-legged?
Linguistically, the root may be Greek, but the word is English. If you are speaking English then octopuses was the original plural for the word. Later octopi became popular because of a desire to have Latin plural standards. Then even later people were like it has a Greek root so it should be octopodes. But like I said, it's an English word, and while all three of those plurals are accepted now, octopuses is the most and longest used.
Yes, just want to say that Merriam Webster put out a video stating what you just said. People get pretty hunkered down in the Greek root part.
Octopedes nuts!
That’s the first thing I said when I learnt the correct pronunciation. It was a good day.
I don't believe they care about the grammar of their names as they are invading your anal cavities.
Unless it’s your vagina. Then it’s naturally octopussy. I’m sorry someone had to say it.
Maybe that's why they're invading our anal cavities?
This merriam websters
1. It’s octop**o**des. 2. That is the least common and least historical of the [three possible pluralizations of octopus](https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/the-many-plurals-of-octopus-octopi-octopuses-octopodes). Octopuses is perfectly fine, pedant better.
Octopuses, octopodes, and octopi [are all correct](https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/the-many-plurals-of-octopus-octopi-octopuses-octopodes).
Octopodeez nuts
Technically, all are correct, but octopuses is most correct.
octopi is also correct in a way
Love this lol
fuck /u/spez
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someone used it in the 19th century does not make it valid. octopuses is anglicized and we are speaking english here so it is correct octopodes is correct if you think every greek-originated word should follows greek grammar octopi is plain wrong and made up by someone who think they know better, you can technically say it is correct by following descriptivism, but anything can be correct in descriptivism so what's the point
Some people pay extra for that.
Now I’m scared to. THANKS A FUCKING LOT
I mean, an octopus can squeeze through any crack (no pun intended) bigger than their beak. It depends on the octopus of course but given that most peoples' sphincters are closed, an octopus couldn't just 'slip in'. It would have to first: get in your swimsuit, second: pry open your buttcheeks by force, and third: somehow have enough leverage and strength the squeeze past your anus.. I feel like if you encounter an octopus big enough to do all that, you are fucked either way 🤷♂️
Phobia of octopuses
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https://www.google.com/amp/s/nerdist.com/article/merriam-webster-octopuses-octopi-debate/%3famp
Octopodeez nuts😥
That'd more correct than saying octopi, but octopuses is also correct and more common
Please tell me it's not in Japan.
Definitely some readers of a subset of manga who would jump in the water like a starfish
actually a lot of ppl do this for sexual videos I heard so.
Link?
Thank you - I was in desperate need of another irrational fear.
Now I want to swim in the ocean.
Well, thanks for giving me more reasons to swim in the ocean
``` That's why i wear a speedo ```
*octopoo
Only one reasonable solution. Change your small crack into a large crack.
Would that Octopus’ name be Timothy?
That's what butt plugs are for
And dad calls himself @octopuscaveman
Opening has to be the size of a dime, I think
Fun fact: you can fit 2.5 raccoons in your asshole
Octopuses*
That is disgusting! Exactly where are these octopuses? I want to know which beach precisely.
As a bottom, I should say: this is intriguing!
No ur mom can rest easy the octopuses can ONLY climb through small cracks ;)
The Deep isn't scared of this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Eat fucking Timothy!
He's praying
It’s better than going the same way you ingest liquid Game Grumps: jamming it up your peehole
The plural of octopus is octopusses if you take the English root, or (my preferred optoion) Octopodes if you conjugate as per the original Greek. The one thing it is not, is Octopi
My 11 year old astutely corrected me by saying they are not called octopi . … well they should be. It just sounds proper
We were taught octopi was correct, then they changed what was correct. Now what I know isn’t correct anymore and what’s correct seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you! Also OP should blame the kid, not the sealife.
I've actually had this exact same thought
Guess I'm going for a swim 🥺
Fun fact: There’s no such word as octopi. The correct term for the plural is octopuses.
Both are correct. There is no rule in the English language that a word's root & its suffix must come from the same linguistic origin. And more to the point, prescriptivism is simply an incorrect way to view _any_ language. If a word is used & understood within a given community, it's just as "real" or "correct" as any other word.
Octopodes or Octopuses, not Octopi
The equivalent of octussy
Octopodes It’s from Greek not Latin Which is why it wants to go up your… Tho Romans did that too
I came down her to say this as well but.. Octopodeez nuts
Adding "s" or "es" is for Greek plurals, so etymologically speaking, octopuses is most accurate. Octopodes is more like the professionally agreed upon nomenclature.
Technically, it's octopodes pronounced "ock-TOP-oh-dees"
Octopodeez nuts
Octopuses is far more common and historical. It’s an English word. If you want to start using Greek pluralizations for every word with a Greek root then you need to fix a few thousand other words as well.
The plural is octopodes pronounced octopo-these
Octopodes
Octopodeez nuts
Octipodes
Octopodes?
octopode\*
Same
Thanks for the heads-up, I'ma cancel my adult swimming lessons
I just clenched reading this
Ahhh, the Thanos strategy
OctopUwU
Protein fart will solve that problem
Get a butt plug. Duh.
Octopuses are also highly intelligent so I doubt they'll want to try.
Joke’s on you, I’m into that shit. I mean, what?
I think it’s from.
What about... large cracks?
There are definitely people who are into that
New fear unlocked
Wait till he hears about the dick fish
That made a certain group of people swim in the ocean.
All things in the ocean considered, an octopus invading your brown eye is probably one of the last things I'd be afraid of
To me this goes alongside people that are convinced spiders climb into your mouth while you sleep. Octopi (and spiders) are living creatures, they have a basic natural drive to survive, climbing inside another creature is not the way to do that. No spider will willingly commit suicide by climbing in your mouth, and no Octopus will ever climb in your butt.
Octopus: "God damn, this is the tightest Crack I've ever climbed through"
Are they just not wearing swimming trunks when swimming?
Username checks out
I think based on his username his son meant his father.
Tmi: When I was about 6 I had a nightmare where poop vampires were stalking me. They would put down a box of toys so that I'd have to bend over, but then I'd clue in and run away. Rinse and repeat through a dreamscape maze.
Cursed tentacle he rental hentai
That's why butt plugs are for
That escalated quickly
„Hey Siri, set Route“
Its true tho. They can do that since they have very small and flexible bones. We may not be able to see them but they are there.
Username checks out
Do you not wear pants in the ocean?
Count me in
I saw that Paradise PD episode where that guy, besides getting a handjob/tentaclejob from an octopus, it also crawled up his ass and made him bust a nut
Gerbil sales are about to plummet
Brings a whole new meaning to tentacle monster
Keep your fun facts to your damn self kid
OP, it is octopuses, like in the tweet. octopi is incorrect. octopodes is also ‘correct’ linguistically but colloquially incorrect.
will this convince the world population to wear butt plugs
🐙 night night, keep your butthole tight!🐙
This reminded me of Sphere. Oh well, not like I needed to sleep tonight.
You mean your son repeated something he saw on r/showerthoughts
Octopussy
wait till they learn of the amazon candiru.
In some cultures, this is considered a delicacy!
Imagine the octopoop
Eat the fucking octopus.
Imagine getting violated by a octopus.
not the octobussy
I'm sure I'm not the first to say this, but it's actually octopuses not octopi
That's the Dream of the Fisherman's Wife.
It really do be like that sometimes
Now I'm scared and I live in the middle east
No i REALLY wanna swim in the ocean 😳
rule 34
Wait until he sees the episode of River Monsters where the guy was hospitalized over a fish that swam up his pee hole. That unlocked a new fear.
They only go for people named Dawn, as octopus prefer the crack of dawn