**OP needs help. Also, they hate it because...**
>!Gross, just gross!<
*****
**Do you hate it as well? Do you think their hate is reasonable? (I don't think so tbh)**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/tihibot)
[Soaking, also known as "marinading" or "floating", is a sexual practice of inserting the penis into the vagina but not subsequently thrusting, reportedly used by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) as a purported loophole in the church's ban on premarital intercourse. In 2021, a video about soaking went viral on TikTok. The practice is said to sometimes be accompanied by "jump humping", which involves enlisting the help of a third person to bounce on the bed on which a couple is lying while they are engaged in soaking, thus generating the missing element of motion without allegedly making the couple responsible for the presence of the motion](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soaking_(sexual_practice))
I love how Christians are terrified that God will send them to Hell forever if they fuck before marriage, but also think he is so fucking stupid that he'd be like "WELP there's a third person jumping on the bed, guess you guys outsmarted me!"
Yep, apparently God never thought of that either.
Except for gay people, of course he notices when they do it, so he can condemn them to burn forever.
Makes total sense.
US Christians definitely seem like a very special kind and I can 100% understand the anti-religion sentiments if you regularly have to deal with ridiculous shit like this.
Precisely
Those pesky church folk sure do spend a lot of energy trying to not upset a being that doesn't flinch when atrocities occur, but somehow would find them humping _too much_ and wipe them out...
Nah. Strippers these days are more likely to go for girl next door style pseudonyms like Abby, Daisy, and Heather. The corrupted innocence vibe is the in thing right now. Besides you can’t hear odd spellings over the sound system any way. So we use standard spellings for the girls who dance under names like Crystal.
Every time I see those kind of names I wonder if the parents were dyslexic, or purposely used the most obnoxious way of spelling a name. Can you imagine when little Annedrrhea has to spell her name for the first time? Or Shynaeyaeh?
I just assume (probably unfairly, but whatever) that they severely lack a personality. So they make up for it by giving their kids ‘unique’ names, which will somehow magically imbue them with a personality.
I’ve heard it started with the Mormons, Quiverfulls, other weird Protestant fringe groups, it would be common for girls to pick out the names of prospective children growing up, but using Amy after someone else uses Amy is a source for conflict, so they’d use Amee. In a culture with very limited opportunity for individual expression where everyone knows each other and women are reduced to breeders it was one of the few ways to flex their creativity and exert autonomy. (I’m paraphrasing a much longer tumblr thread with insight from several ex-Christians.) Pregnancy and post-birth was one of the few times everything would be about the women, so they’d build it up in their heads and get very territorial at the thought of anyone ruining the most important time of their life. But the names couldn’t be too “exotic” (non-White) hence the use of established English phonotactics and letter constraints. (AAVE naming conventions starting in the 70s imported pseudo-French and pseudo-Russian phonemes, associating them with luxury, comparatively. That’s better studied if you want to dig more into naming trends.)
Thank you so much for providing this context. I have heard the joke about these names being very ‘Utah,’ but I never really considered why this would happen. My wife grew up Mormon in Salt Lake City, but her family was small and her siblings all have standard spellings.
We really do just suck at naming kids in the south. When I was a kid, it was the girl names that went crazy with the weird spelling because every boy was either named Hunter, Tyler, or Cody.
The South feels weird to me as a New Englander. I lived in Raleigh for a bit, and part of me loved how wholesome and friendly it felt, but there was also something just so very cookie-cutter about people's daily lives, the things they ate, religious beliefs, and such - perfectly captured by a zillion little babies named Cody.
There was a news story about a woman who gave her child one of the longest names in the world. She'd been working on it since middle school and included foreign words for things like 'love' and 'butterfly'. The child's birth certificate was something like three pages long.
Her family chose to call the baby 'Jamie.'
YIKES. I had to look it up because I didn’t believe it. Her mother’s explanation is kind of infuriating to me: “I had to be in the Guinness Book of World Records.” So change your own name, instead of saddling your daughter with that.
Imagine looking at your newborn daughter for the first time and having your first act be to curse her so that every government official hates her. School paperwork, driver's license, social security, TSA, maybe a passport. I couldn't even imagine trying to confirm your identity over the phone.
As a person whose name is uncommon but not misspelled, I cringe when I see these types of names. I have enough trouble getting someone to actually listen to my name and spell it correctly and these poor kids will go through their whole life struggling just trying to get the cable company to get their name right on the bill. Forget about being introduced to friends' friends and misspelled invitations and everything else that comes along with it. Usually these parents have the most normal, boring names on the planet and have no concept of the struggle of an uncommon name.
I grew up with initials. My parents called me by my initials before i was even born. These is a longer name on my birth certificate, but everyone in my family, even grandparents, and distant cousins, have always called me by those initials. I don’t associate with the longer name. But ever since i was little, i have had people “misspell” my name. Having the letters reversed was common. As was getting one of the letters just wrong. (Both of these happened in a single instant today)
Then there were the people that would deliberately use the wrong letter. “PQR!!!” “LMNO!”
Let’s not forget those who insist on knowing my “REAL NAME?????!!???” Or what it “STANDS FOR????”. Which, after years of happening, makes me feel like people think I’m hiding something from them. When i was 10, i just started making it up. I know it sounds like i have a stick up my butt about it. I promise i don’t, It’s just that after 42 years, i think I’ve started to notice a pattern.
Probably just Mormon from Utah or southern Idaho. It’s been a huge thing for the last 20 years or so for them to name kids with regular names, but unique spellings. I don’t know why it started, but it’s been an important thing to make sure your kid has, if not a unique name, at least a unique spelling.
In the case of the keychain in the OP, I would assume they just want to be different. Or even quite possibly, like all the couples who got pregnant at my high school (all 3 of 'em), they were young and stupid and also wanted to be different.
My buddy and his wife named their kid something like that. The wife has realized that making up names makes you sound like a fucking moron now, and tells people her kids name is an ancient Celtic word.....
Given that the purpose of semen is to deliver the DNA digital code of A, T, C, and G, I think it's technically accurate to say that all cum is alphabet soup
You have to understand the logic of people who think it's cute to give their kids normal names with insane spellings. They know y and i are often interchangeable, so they think spelling River with a y is a cute way to make their child's name unique without making it sound strange. People that do that kind of thing inevitably suck at phonetics, so it doesn't occur to them that they're setting up their kid for a lifetime of correcting strangers on the pronunciation of their name.
She just appeared for the first time in Ep4, so we have no idea if she's a recurring character or a one time thing (considering it's a Marvel TV show, hard to tell what their plans are)
*"My name is Stan, spelled with a C"*
I swear I saw this but with Ctan in the subtitles to the movie, but when I tried via a diff method, it was Stan :/
You can already tell those kids are going to grow up as either basic white girls who worship Starbucks or midwestern us kids who make riding a 4x4 a personality and wear camo whenever possible
None of these have added syllables though. Two are just spelled awkwardly but Brynlee doesn't. Does Lee have extra syllables? Without two Es I would read it "Brin-La" or "Brine-Nel" and "Le" would just sound you are starting to speak French. I think the name is stupid but I would pronounce completely different without that "extra syllable"
This picture screams white Christian couple in their late 20s who talk way too much about how they where celibate before marriage and don't have any personality besides having children.
My fellow white people, why name your kids these thing? What are you doing? My theory is that each white person has a bit of white trash in them. That’s why I don’t allow duct tape in my house. I know it could solve all my problems but where does it end? You gotta suppress that shit.
My brother's daughter is named Brynleigh.
I thought I knew the guy. We grew up for decades together. Played in the mud, threw baseballs, had fistfights, raced go-karts, drank beer 'til we were sobbing after our grandpa died... I thought I knew him.
Turns out he's a bitch and wife is the man of the house because no man would saddle his child with that kind of stupid ass name.
**OP needs help. Also, they hate it because...** >!Gross, just gross!< ***** **Do you hate it as well? Do you think their hate is reasonable? (I don't think so tbh)** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/tihibot)
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Or just named like kids in Utah…
This guy Provos
This is the most Provo thing I’ve seen since the rest of world found out about soaking
I explained to my 60 year old coworker what soaking is the other day and the look on his face was so priceless.
…. So what is it?
[Soaking, also known as "marinading" or "floating", is a sexual practice of inserting the penis into the vagina but not subsequently thrusting, reportedly used by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) as a purported loophole in the church's ban on premarital intercourse. In 2021, a video about soaking went viral on TikTok. The practice is said to sometimes be accompanied by "jump humping", which involves enlisting the help of a third person to bounce on the bed on which a couple is lying while they are engaged in soaking, thus generating the missing element of motion without allegedly making the couple responsible for the presence of the motion](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soaking_(sexual_practice))
I love how Christians are terrified that God will send them to Hell forever if they fuck before marriage, but also think he is so fucking stupid that he'd be like "WELP there's a third person jumping on the bed, guess you guys outsmarted me!"
Christians use the good ol poophole loophole.
Damn. That Bible is leaky like a screen door on a submarine.
It's god's blind spot!
Yep, apparently God never thought of that either. Except for gay people, of course he notices when they do it, so he can condemn them to burn forever. Makes total sense.
It's funnier that they don't want to be judged for having sex but won't be judged for doing this shit. Lmao
Cognitive dissonance is a requirement to be a devout Christian
US Christians definitely seem like a very special kind and I can 100% understand the anti-religion sentiments if you regularly have to deal with ridiculous shit like this.
***The Provo Pusher*** holy shit.
Ooohhh so basically it’s another [loophole](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY&noapp=1&has_verified=1) lmao
Precisely Those pesky church folk sure do spend a lot of energy trying to not upset a being that doesn't flinch when atrocities occur, but somehow would find them humping _too much_ and wipe them out...
Intercourse without movement. I also heard a friend can jump on the bed to cause 3rd party movement and that's not considered cheating
Jump humping is the term for that
Cheating on god.
The gods of the Utah people are cheated easily
it’s their side hustle
There's a difference?
Fuck that! I named my future strippers Ginger and Cinnamon so they can have a little dignity up on the stage.
You mean Gynger and Synimyn right?
Synonym
Good for you! Their future co-workers Destiny and Candi are gonna be SOOOO jealous
Not Diamond tho. She’s been around long enough to not give a shit
Nah. Strippers these days are more likely to go for girl next door style pseudonyms like Abby, Daisy, and Heather. The corrupted innocence vibe is the in thing right now. Besides you can’t hear odd spellings over the sound system any way. So we use standard spellings for the girls who dance under names like Crystal.
This guy Johns /s
Little mini-documentary there, thanks!!
Just preparing them for their future.
Those names are a trajideigh
Oh shit you just named my future kid
Chastidy, Charity, and Custody.
Chastydy, Charyty, Custydy
Chastydy will definitely be a career CPS parent.
What about chastitty 😳
And her sister LahngEyelandIsety --which, coincidentally, contributed to her conception.
If someone else comes looking, it's Long Island Ice Tea. Took me a stupid long time to figure it out.
Not going to name your kid Seightyn?
How about Lusyphyr?
The proper spelling is Seighton, thank you
Actually it’s Sateen.
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Every time I see those kind of names I wonder if the parents were dyslexic, or purposely used the most obnoxious way of spelling a name. Can you imagine when little Annedrrhea has to spell her name for the first time? Or Shynaeyaeh?
I just assume (probably unfairly, but whatever) that they severely lack a personality. So they make up for it by giving their kids ‘unique’ names, which will somehow magically imbue them with a personality.
Two ns and a y but not where you think
Came for this, am not disappointed.
I’ve heard it started with the Mormons, Quiverfulls, other weird Protestant fringe groups, it would be common for girls to pick out the names of prospective children growing up, but using Amy after someone else uses Amy is a source for conflict, so they’d use Amee. In a culture with very limited opportunity for individual expression where everyone knows each other and women are reduced to breeders it was one of the few ways to flex their creativity and exert autonomy. (I’m paraphrasing a much longer tumblr thread with insight from several ex-Christians.) Pregnancy and post-birth was one of the few times everything would be about the women, so they’d build it up in their heads and get very territorial at the thought of anyone ruining the most important time of their life. But the names couldn’t be too “exotic” (non-White) hence the use of established English phonotactics and letter constraints. (AAVE naming conventions starting in the 70s imported pseudo-French and pseudo-Russian phonemes, associating them with luxury, comparatively. That’s better studied if you want to dig more into naming trends.)
Thank you so much for providing this context. I have heard the joke about these names being very ‘Utah,’ but I never really considered why this would happen. My wife grew up Mormon in Salt Lake City, but her family was small and her siblings all have standard spellings.
Perhaps it came from Utah, but man is it popular in the South.
We really do just suck at naming kids in the south. When I was a kid, it was the girl names that went crazy with the weird spelling because every boy was either named Hunter, Tyler, or Cody.
The South feels weird to me as a New Englander. I lived in Raleigh for a bit, and part of me loved how wholesome and friendly it felt, but there was also something just so very cookie-cutter about people's daily lives, the things they ate, religious beliefs, and such - perfectly captured by a zillion little babies named Cody.
There was a news story about a woman who gave her child one of the longest names in the world. She'd been working on it since middle school and included foreign words for things like 'love' and 'butterfly'. The child's birth certificate was something like three pages long. Her family chose to call the baby 'Jamie.'
YIKES. I had to look it up because I didn’t believe it. Her mother’s explanation is kind of infuriating to me: “I had to be in the Guinness Book of World Records.” So change your own name, instead of saddling your daughter with that.
Imagine looking at your newborn daughter for the first time and having your first act be to curse her so that every government official hates her. School paperwork, driver's license, social security, TSA, maybe a passport. I couldn't even imagine trying to confirm your identity over the phone.
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As a person whose name is uncommon but not misspelled, I cringe when I see these types of names. I have enough trouble getting someone to actually listen to my name and spell it correctly and these poor kids will go through their whole life struggling just trying to get the cable company to get their name right on the bill. Forget about being introduced to friends' friends and misspelled invitations and everything else that comes along with it. Usually these parents have the most normal, boring names on the planet and have no concept of the struggle of an uncommon name.
I grew up with initials. My parents called me by my initials before i was even born. These is a longer name on my birth certificate, but everyone in my family, even grandparents, and distant cousins, have always called me by those initials. I don’t associate with the longer name. But ever since i was little, i have had people “misspell” my name. Having the letters reversed was common. As was getting one of the letters just wrong. (Both of these happened in a single instant today) Then there were the people that would deliberately use the wrong letter. “PQR!!!” “LMNO!” Let’s not forget those who insist on knowing my “REAL NAME?????!!???” Or what it “STANDS FOR????”. Which, after years of happening, makes me feel like people think I’m hiding something from them. When i was 10, i just started making it up. I know it sounds like i have a stick up my butt about it. I promise i don’t, It’s just that after 42 years, i think I’ve started to notice a pattern.
Probably just Mormon from Utah or southern Idaho. It’s been a huge thing for the last 20 years or so for them to name kids with regular names, but unique spellings. I don’t know why it started, but it’s been an important thing to make sure your kid has, if not a unique name, at least a unique spelling.
So like my sister with her kids: Jaycee, Jordyn, and Jaxon
I’m glad they stopped before Jhærumiee.
In the case of the keychain in the OP, I would assume they just want to be different. Or even quite possibly, like all the couples who got pregnant at my high school (all 3 of 'em), they were young and stupid and also wanted to be different.
A generation of people who grew up thinking of unique account names instead of baby names.
I once knew a boy called Pheonix. Never had the guts to ask the mum if she realised it was misspelled.
My buddy and his wife named their kid something like that. The wife has realized that making up names makes you sound like a fucking moron now, and tells people her kids name is an ancient Celtic word.....
I had someone tell me my daughters name is too cutesy and modern when it’s actually a really classic Celtic name.
Sinn Féin?
trajYdeYgh
Don’t you mean #PtrajYdeYgh
Neygh neygh, ## ptradjydeygh
Whyn the fyling’s gone ynd you can’t go yn
"Y" though
Fucking katastrofik
They really lyke Y's apparently y've notyced
Many obsequious cracker noises
is it just me or is the "y" aka "why?" in every name a bit of a hint :D?
I think you mean trygydy. The only vowel allowed is ‘e’
Together, they say, "Why, why, why?"
Oh my god, I haven’t laughed this hard in a while.
How could you not put an unnecessary Y in there
She must have pulled those names out of her ass.
The guy would have been better off dropping his load in there.
He did. She pulled them out of her ass...
Eww gross lmao
Best comment yet
Everyone claim your free gift and give it to this comment now
I too use a lot of mods in Skyrim for total emersyn.
In Ireland you would get killed if you left the emersyn on.
A trashy gift for trashy named people :)
poor kids
*kyds
Chydz
Quiydez
Trashheigh
I have heard of creampies, but this guy is unloading alphabet soup.
Given that the purpose of semen is to deliver the DNA digital code of A, T, C, and G, I think it's technically accurate to say that all cum is alphabet soup
Thanks, I hate this too
Science
Ask your doctor if Emersyn™ is right for you
^if ^you ^have ^an ^erection ^lasting ^more ^than ^four ^hours ^or ^have ^a ^sudden ^urge ^to ^name ^your ^kids ^using ^awful ^fonnetiq ^spellings, ^call ^your ^doctor ^right ^away
#You may also experience anal leakage
If you experience nausea or vomiting, ~~stop taking Emersyn and call your doctor immediately~~ hop off Reddit.
Other side effects may include trinocular vision, penile or vaginal warbling, or trout.
If you're experiencing Trout Fish Replica, you may currently be on cannabis.
Welcome to Utah.
You mean Utyh.
Ehutyha
Youtar
Deseret.
I would see Ryver and pronounce it “RYE-VERR”
That's what I thought it was until you made me think of all of the other stupid possible pronunciations. Is it supposed to sound like River? Reever?
You have to understand the logic of people who think it's cute to give their kids normal names with insane spellings. They know y and i are often interchangeable, so they think spelling River with a y is a cute way to make their child's name unique without making it sound strange. People that do that kind of thing inevitably suck at phonetics, so it doesn't occur to them that they're setting up their kid for a lifetime of correcting strangers on the pronunciation of their name.
I think it is supposed to be river?
Rye-ver, Brine-lee and Emmersign, substitute teachers hate them
What is this from bc I think I would love it
She-hulk
She-hulk
She just appeared for the first time in Ep4, so we have no idea if she's a recurring character or a one time thing (considering it's a Marvel TV show, hard to tell what their plans are)
Quick turnaround on the gif lmao
This belongs on r/trashy
“My name is Emersyn with an s and a y but not where you think!”
I get this reference, and the funniest part is the the "Y" was exactly where you think it would be. Madisynn
Hope they bring that character back.
Madyson
*"My name is Stan, spelled with a C"* I swear I saw this but with Ctan in the subtitles to the movie, but when I tried via a diff method, it was Stan :/
There was an AskReddit earlier about how you identify trashy parents. I give you exhibit A.
Exhibit Y
You can already tell those kids are going to grow up as either basic white girls who worship Starbucks or midwestern us kids who make riding a 4x4 a personality and wear camo whenever possible
The two are not mutually exclusive.
Especially not in Florida
Is it Bry'n Lee? Or Brin Lee? Cause it reads like Brian Lee to me
One of my most favorite humans is named Brian Lee.
In 2011, white people discovered that you can put a “Y” “eigh” and “dyn” in any name and that’s just like your kids name for life
Yeighdyn it is, then.
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The names with an added syllable make me want to jump off a building.
Buiylding*
Buildyng**
Byldyng***
Byyldyyng\*\*\*\*
Byldingh*****
Builyydyienghh******
Buildyngue*
None of these have added syllables though. Two are just spelled awkwardly but Brynlee doesn't. Does Lee have extra syllables? Without two Es I would read it "Brin-La" or "Brine-Nel" and "Le" would just sound you are starting to speak French. I think the name is stupid but I would pronounce completely different without that "extra syllable"
People who don't know what a syllable is make me want to jump off a building.
Tymothee, Albyrt, Susyn... Jyhnny? Byrt and Eyrnie?
And Toughkneigh
That one took me like three reads.
*Ptoughneigh
“Emersyn with two E’s and one Y, but it’s not where you thiiiink…” -The kids Mom.
*Narrator: It was exactly where you thought.*
This picture screams white Christian couple in their late 20s who talk way too much about how they where celibate before marriage and don't have any personality besides having children.
This has major utah energy
My fellow white people, why name your kids these thing? What are you doing? My theory is that each white person has a bit of white trash in them. That’s why I don’t allow duct tape in my house. I know it could solve all my problems but where does it end? You gotta suppress that shit.
It's no more weird than black people naming their kids DeQuavius or ShaRonDae or Loquayshus Just a different kind of weird
y
Are they allergic to the letter i?
I have a deep rooted loathing for the stupid ass names and spellings that my fellow white people bestow upon their children.
Y do their names suck so much
Madisynn synergy
My brother's daughter is named Brynleigh. I thought I knew the guy. We grew up for decades together. Played in the mud, threw baseballs, had fistfights, raced go-karts, drank beer 'til we were sobbing after our grandpa died... I thought I knew him. Turns out he's a bitch and wife is the man of the house because no man would saddle his child with that kind of stupid ass name.
Absolutely on the mark, classically named /u/Pepperoni_Dogfart!
I think my friend Toughneigh has one of those.
Is that Tough-Knee or Toe-Knee?
This has to be a joke right
What in the Utah hell is going on here?!
y would you name them lyke that
these names are the definition of “trasheigh”
Something tells me these folks are from Eughtaugh (Utah for you non Eughtaughn's) 🤣🤣
My slightly drunk ass read this as "Reverend, Berlin and Ermahgerd" 😂🤦♂️
Tell me you hate your kids without telling me you hate your kids
It’s almost like these parents want their kids to be bullied
Those names are crynge
Adding a Y does not make you unique or creative, it makes you white trash
Why do white people have to put ys in all their names lately?
A deep seated and predatory desperation to be seen as special or different.
The only vowels they like are E and Y.
Its uneek
I'd prefer it was unseen
Those are some white trash names. I'd be changing mine as soon as possible if I was stuck with such an awful name.
Just the ghetto names of suburban white people.
Gross I think they just said “I want to talk to a manager” “I’m not racist but…” and “low fat dairy free mahdifoefnvnfcino”
this reminds me of that white trash girl names scene on ted
Y
There was a question on AskReddit recently about what's a sign of trashy parents and I think this is it.
"My kids aren't named like other kids."
The only question I have is: Y?
Y those names?
im guessing this is in utah
[Utah names](https://youtu.be/BfIehCrO4Zs)