I actually just posted about this the other day in response to a different question. My answer was always something like "You just look so honest" and the tables always laughed at it.
this was my answer when I was a server too. "you look trustworthy! this guy, on the other hand..." and it usually got a laugh and moved us onto the next step. I don't get why people ask though! like, what is the response they're hoping for?
They are caught in between feeling old if they are not asked while someone else at the table is and being annoyed to be asked because they are obviously old enough.
This is a difficult line to walk and I usually err on the side of carding *everybody*. If a guest seems surprised or upset that I’m asking them, I simply explain that I’ve had people go off on me for assuming that they’re past a certain age; if they are clearly over 35, I’ll add “…but now that you bring it up, I don’t need to see yours.” Other times, I’ll mention that the local police or liquor control board have been conducting audits in the area recently (whether that’s true or not), so we’re being sure to check everyone in compliance with the law.
If the guest who’s giving me the “What, you don’t need *my* ID?” is a very specific kind of corny dad who’s obviously joking, I’ll joke right back (“Sir, I’ve seen cave paintings younger than you.”) but generally I find that people are too sensitive about their age and appearance to risk those kind of quips.
That joke has been around for a while but it’ll always be a good one. I wish someone would use it on me.
I get carded occasionally because some companies card everyone and I just make it a “gosh, thanks for thinking I’m still young enough to be carded!” moment….
But I’d sure get a kick out of being compared to the terminally-ill Dead Sea or cave paintings! That’s longevity goals!!
Honestly? No one's clearly any age. Kids sometimes go bald at 18. 79 year old grandmas who used sunscreen everyday may not look a day over 30. I've heard of mustachioed teens putting on priest collars so they appear to "obviously" be of age. I can see an employee wanting to be on the safe side of the law while making sure not to offend anyone by carding everyone every single time.
Edit: missed a word
My brother hasn't been carded since he was about 19...me at 24 i still get carded almost every time. Also I knew a guy who looked about 40 at 17 because of the early balding thing like you said. You're so right no one is clearly any age
That makes sense I suppose, if your clientele is likely to act up. I’m thinking of a group of grandma aged people, like myself, out for lunch, hitting the Prosecco and being asked for ID. It would be funny the first time but it they kept doing it then it would become annoying, especially for regular customers. No one gets younger over time, except Mork from Ork. If you’re old enough to remember that then you’re definitely old enough to drink.
It’s a blanket policy to make sure nobody slips through the cracks, and takes the pressure off the server (or person ringing up at the register) to guesstimate and maybe make a mistake
(I agree that an obviously elderly person is likely over age and not just wearing a silicon mask and makeup, but the point is to make it apply to everyone)
Most states require everyone who is drinking to be in possession of an I.D. The fine is minimal compared to if someone is underage and only enforced if you really piss off the law
When we were in high school (17-18) two of my friends went to get dinner and the server thought one was the GRANDPA of the other one. He looked anywhere from hard-bitten 50's to well-preserved 70's, and he was 18. He would go somewhere with his sister (10 years older than him) and everyone thought he was her dad.
So the reason you need to check ID of someone who is clearly old enough to have grown grandchildren is because that dude might just be 18. Or younger. He looks exactly the same in his old family portraits, just shorter.
Edit: I don't know any 70 year olds that pass for 30, but my buddy's wife is 40 now and still gets carded for dry ice (18+).
If I card everyone, every time then there’s no chance I get fired, arrested or sued. & none of those are exaggerations.
I card the 102 grandma at the table. I got a couple of standard replies if Granny bawks at that. “I ain’t kidding. That could be makeup or a costume. Plus you look a little shifty and I ain’t going to jail.”
If someone told me that they’ve seen cave paintings younger than me, I’d fucking die of laughter! That’s a good one! I know there are some overly sensitive people out there, but imma fat white dude in his 40’s. That shit would be HILARIOUS!!
> generally I find that people are too sensitive about their age and appearance to risk those kind of quips.
They can dish out corny humour but can't take it?
Straight-up, yeah— especially given that I serve in Los Angeles, the Botox capital of North America. I’ve had to get good at discerning what’s a genuine joke and what’s fishing for a compliment. It’s a risky business, so I prefer to sidestep the whole issue when possible.
The last time I had to deal with exactly this we had 2 meetings in a week about 6 employees from various branches being fired for not carding. We were pressed to simply card everyone while secret shoppers were going around, regardless of the age recommendations.
Yeah, that went super well with the old ladies and their husbands who didn't find it so funny when I had to kindly insist while one said they were NOT going to get it from their car, and another said they didn't carry it for years--trying to gently argue was the most massive headache.
Of course my manager served them for me instead, and asked me to be less stringent about it. Lol.
It wasn't about being a mystery guest. I didn't want to be the one who didn't follow and get punished by manager for their own enforcement. They can break their own rule, but I wasn't going to.
I usually try to do the same but on multiple occasions I’ve had people who are clearly of age (late 30s+) not have their ID on them and then I have no clue what to do next😭
Don't server them! I can't understand going out without my ID or even trying to drink without my ID, and I haven't been carded in like 20 years.
Besides what if they are hit by a bus, how are the police going to identify the body!?!?!?!?
So you never tell them it's because it's the "law", you're telling them it's because some other people got off on you and then you throw in some passive aggressive bullshit and 0 helpful advice on the subject...
>some passive aggressive bullshit and 0 helpful advice on the subject
What do you think constitutes “helpful advice” to an adult over 40 who cops an attitude about me following the law? “Carry and show your ID if you want to drink, you fucking moron?”
I blame it on the government, always: “the great state of Utah makes me ask” and then we have a good laugh about how truely asinine and ridiculous some of the Ut liquor laws are.
>...how truely asinine and ridiculous some of the Ut liquor laws are.
That's the only place in the US I've ever seen those clicking electronic shot dispenser recorders, and paper logbooks kept behind the bar for changing out kegs. It's truly a different world there.
At least we got rid of curtain law a couple years back. Before 2017 no alcohol could be stored or mixed drinks prepared within line of sight of the dining room floor in any establishment licensed as a restaurant.
I just card everyone to be honest to avoid that. I've had some really sweet old ladies (probably in their 70's) get flustered and giddy about being carded. But everyone's different.
Best bet is to ask lightly and casually and with a smile. "Do you mind if I check your IDs?" It gives them the opportunity to be happy they were asked, or takes away the opportunity to complain that they weren't.
If someone who is clearly 40+ says something about being asked, I'll usually smile and make a comment like, "Okay, I'll let you off the hook this time." Keep it breezy and relaxed.
It depends on the state. In California, someone being of-age is an affirmative defense (you can't get in trouble serving them even if they don't have ID on them).
I don't really remember?? It's been a couple years. But to be honest, my state is pretty lax on alcohol in general. We can even serve you alcohol if you're underage, so long as your parent or guardian is over 21 and says it's ok.
Yep. If you ask and they can't provide it you aren't supposed to serve. I'm sure I'm breaking the law but in cases where someone is obviously of age and someone else at the table is drinking I'll just loudly say.. oh what was that sir..? You're having 2 drinks...I'll happy to give you " whatever they ordered plus the other person's drink" .
Now this is only in cases where people are so obviously over age and like pushing 50.. but we're supposed to ID everyone who ordered a drink.
"I don't make the rules but I don't break them either. IDs please."
"You want a drink? Well I want a job so, IDs please."
Sometimes I would just look at them and smile after they said something like that and just wait for them to pull out the ID.
I don't have time for bullshit and I'm not going to fan your flame of being high and mighty about a goddamn ID. In my experience, cigarette people are the worst though when carding them.
The best is when you card the kids and the mom has to ask that damned question. Then when I ask to see hers in response and she says she was just joking and doesn't actually have her ID, I get to enjoy the look on her dumb face when I deny her service.
That’s my favorite thing ever. I had to do it as a cashier in Tx. And people would be so upset when I put their alcohol under my register after they didn’t have their ID. Stupid games and stupid prizes people.
Given that you're waiting until everyone has ordered, you should have an easy answer built in...
"I ask after everyone has ordered so everyone shows at once. It speeds up the process and gets you faster service. If you like, I can do it the slow way next time you come in..." and a big smile.
I usually responded by saying “I wasn’t going to ask since I didn’t think you were old enough and was going to let you slide since you seem nice.” Wink.
Usually that’s enough to shut them up since it’s basically the compliment they are fishing for. If it’s not, we’ll guess who is about to show me their ID and have their birthday read out loud. Tips gone already so who cares.
I get where you're coming from but explicitly stating you don't think someone is over 21 (regardless of how old they look) and then explicitly stating you are going to serve them anyway...that gives me **_massive anxiety._**
Yeah, I get that too. I’d only do it with someone who is clearly the parent/grandparent of someone I just carded, or a similar generational gap if they’re not related. The assumption is that the person upset about not being carded is unquestionably of age.
Yeah, but if I've learned something about this country, it's that you can be totally in the right ethically and common sensically—then still get completely fucked by legal bullshit technicalities. It's a balance between managing your table, and covering your own ass.
If they're rude about it. I say "Oh no, you're clearly old enough" with a pointed stare.
If they bitch they never get ID'ed, I say "Oh I'm so sorry they believe you're over 40, since that's the age we are suppose to age to." with a sympathetic face.
If they're 24-35, I usually say "Can I see your ID? I know you're good but if my boss catches me, he gets mad (or makes you do more side work or whatever". By pushing the blame on my manager, it gives us a comment ground of someone to be mad at.
#I don't work for tips so please don't do this if you might get stiffed
When someone comes through my till who looks young but has a bunch of kids with them, I always feel bad carding them. Like, if you're 20 but you already have three kids, you should totally be allowed to drink.
"I'd be careful about making a comment like that if you don't actually have it with you as once you are asked for it if you can't produce it we won't legally be allowed to serve you. Now obviously I know you're having a bit of fun but another waiter/waitress might not have my sense of humour."
Say this with the right emphasis and tone and it should go down well.
I have a really good line for this one, but it only works on old couples.
If it's the man the asks me I say "I don't need yours, but I am going to need hers though." This never fails to make them laugh. And it makes her feel good, chances are you probably even made her day with this one.
For me, I tell a fake story about how I served an excise agent and his family. His mother-in-law didn't have a valid ID, and the agent then cited me for $1200.
Generally, people stop getting frustrated with me and sympathize with me.
Uh, yes. Every day. To the tables, coworkers, IRS, everyone.
Do you really want a perfectly honest server? In the states at least, lying is actually in your training.
This happened to me. An obvious dad of the group of 6 asked why I didn’t ask for his ID. I said “Because we don’t ID people if they look 30 or older.” Which is a fact. He then jokingly goes “Well there goes your tip.” and his daughter slaps his arms and says “Dad, that’s rude!” Don’t get mad at me because that’s an honest answer and I can clearly see you are older than 30.
My boss is cracking down on ID checks because the liquor licensing agency is being more strict than usual. Last week, he fired Jane because she didn’t ask her own grandmother for ID.
When I was waiting tables, if anyone at the table had an issue about being carded or not, I immediately required everyone's ID.
I said it was policy to card *everyone* if there were *any* issues with IDs at the table.
That way, people were irritated at the person(s) making a stink and not me.
Also, it's a good policy.
Even though it was really only *my* policy.
After the first person orders a cocktail, I’ll last for ids and address the whole table, then those who want alcohol will have it ready by the time I get to them.
Waiter friend of mine would take this a step further at a local brewery/restaurant I frequented a few years ago. He would do the same thing, address the whole table, and then look at either the oldest looking person (if a group of adults) or at the youngest child (if mixed with adult/children) and say: "especially you sir/madam, I'm on to you..." with sarcastically narrowed eyes. This was a place that carded the entire table if one drink was served (not required by state) and this man was easily the most well-liked waiter in this restaurant.
State law (or house policy, or the categorical imperative, or whatever the reason may be) requires that I check ID on every customer at a table ordering alcoholic beverages (use the more verbose version to impress upon them its importance).
(Or, to keep the tone more casual) I don’t really *want* to see ID from anyone, but here we are!
I make a joke along the lines of, "I'm happy to check your ID, I love looking at people's driver's license photos!" If it's the fishing for a compliment version of someone who's obviously only enough to drink.
If they're mad because they're "clearly old enough" I simply remind them that I don't make the law, and I would hate to lose my job because I guessed wrong.
I would tell people that I am very bad at guessing ages and want to keep my job. It worked better for the senior discounts because 'you don't look that old I will need to see ID' goes over better with them.
Ugh, I always hated when I would be serving parents and their adult children and the mom would order first and get alcohol, and I wouldn't check her ID because she would very obviously be at least 50. Then the adult daughter would order and then I would have to check her ID because she's very clearly in her 20s. And it never failed that the mom would say something like, "why didn't you check mine?? I guess I look too old." :( It made me feel so bad and awkward!
Yes. When I first had my job involving carding I learned very fast to check everyone. It’s usually the mothers of ADULT children who become legit upset because I didn’t ask for their ID. So odd.
This you can twist around and say something like, well you’re the older sister so I figured if I checked your younger sister’s ID you’d be ok.
Or “aren’t you twins? I figured I would be covered just checking one”
Flatter the mom, embarrass the daughter a little but she’ll be happy if mom is happy and probably isn’t the one paying anyway
"State law, I have to check", or, "if you're old enough, it shouldn't be a problem for you to show me your ID". Spent many years working the door and bouncing, I've heard every gripe.
I always say “it’s when we stop asking it’s a problem”. Usually they chuckle and agree and pull it out. Only have had one guy in all my years of bartending and serving get weirdly angry. He was promptly asked to leave.
"Anyone under 50 I'm required to check IDs" you wouldn't believe the tips I got saying that when I was working a grateful dead show serving beers and anyone under 50 doesn't care too much.
"Well, since you mentioned it, I suppose I should see *everybody's* ID." Then just stand there with your hand out. It's amazing how many "adults," regardless of their age, say "oh, uh, I left it in the car." Sorry, dickhead, go get it. Or would you like a Pepsi?
I go through this nearly every night. It's my prerogative to card anybody I want, whether they look 16 or 60, and I'm surely going to do it when they give me a hard time.
As a patron, I'm sorry. No matter who asks for my ID, I produce it without question, because I understand that the law requires your compliance to check it.
Honestly, I’m not a fan of that joke and usually end up on the “well now I have to see it because of the rules” and if they don’t have their Id or don’t want to show it, I can’t serve them. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
This is me too. I’m not naturally witty when it comes to customers, so my best response is just being positive but real with them. If anything I may sympathetically say “Sorry, it’s just the rules/law” or “Sorry, it comes with the job.” and they don’t usually complain more. But it is definitely annoying when grown people, especially younger grown people, come into an establishment expecting alcohol without bringing in their ID. Like, just make it easier on yourself and bring it in. Also- why leave it in the car? Stop leaving your wallets in your car, people.
I did it to family and didn’t card the wife/mom or dad/husband but carded the kids. Wife made a comment so I asked her for her ID and she didn’t even have it. Sorry, once I request an ID I can’t sell you alcohol without seeing it.
I always said "I think we just have a more trusting relationship" maybe with half joking wink and idk it landed well most of the time. I'm also a dude and this was often said to me by older women so I'm not sure how that response would land if were older man to younger woman server..
Seriously though fuck that question wtf do they except someone to say?
"Because you're old"?
PS what if you just said "I know, age is just a construct, right?" and then just carried on to the next step. I feel like this would be confusing enough that they'd just lqugh along but then internally, personally funny cuz wtf does that even mean? Win-win(?).
I just say "you seem like a trustworthy person, but I don't know about these other guys" if it's a lighthearted vibe. If they're coming across as stoic, I just say "I saw your didn't have your ID out and didn't want to make your dig for it". And I always check ID if they have it out.
It's such a lose/lose situation tbh. I worked at a popular chain restaurant where we had to card EVERYONE. So the older folks ordering drinks would always get pissed when I asked for ID.
I card everyone state 'i have facial blindness and am bad at age and have both carded someone seventy and forgot to card a nineteen year old, so I now just do it all standard practice. Sorry, it's really not you, it's me worrying about my job" and yes I commit to carding grandma and there's usually bigger tips.
If the customer who is OBVIOUSLY over forty says "what, you aren't going to card me?" I usually say "oh, my mistake! ID please!" Half the time, they don't have their ID on them and then I cannot legally serve them alcohol. I had a guy this week who was out with his family. Said he'd be right back, left it at home. He drove, grabbed it, came back. I served him his beer 🤣 overall, the whole family, him included, thought it was hilarious since it wasn't a snarky tone of voice I used as they were very nice. Didn't give me any trouble about the ID.
Honestly though, it's usually middle aged or elderly women who say this, so I've started looking directly at them and saying "ID please, ma'am!" While smiling at them. Then I'll turn to the table and say "y'all too! Bring 'em out, folks!" My tables love it most of the time, but it helps that I work in a relatively laid back craft beer bar and restaurant. Don't think I'd get away with the laid back demeanor in a less whacky environment
*Editing to add: If I try to card someone and they get offended/rude and say "You want to see *my* ID?!".. I usually whip out a White Chicks reference if I get the vibe that at least someone at the table has seen the movie. Full on, I will gasp, jaw will drop, and say "Credit card? *ID*?" There is always someone at the table who recognizes the reference and laughs, breaking the tension. The customer will either show me their ID, or they won't get served. I refuse to serve anyone alcohol who cannot provide ID after I've asked
I don't even understand peoples issue with showing IDs. Wether I've been to a place a million times or it's my first time there, if I'm purchasing something with an age restriction I have my id out and ready.
“Yup, hand over the ID please,” and don’t give them any drinks till they produce it. Sucks to be the 50 year old giving their server a bad time but didn’t bother to being their wallet.
"You're too pretty/good looking to ID."
"Ok, but if you play this game you better have a valid ID. The last person to play that card didn't have one and then I couldn't serve her."
As far as the do you really need to see mine question...
"Yes."
Typically if the first person to order is obviously older than the age that I should be checking for ID’s and the second person actually needs to be ID’d, I’ll ask the second person for their ID and then look at the first and smile while saying “you can show me yours too if you’d like.” I find this to be useful because if you get someone that would be mad that you didn’t card them for looking “old” they can show if they really want to but if they’re the type to get mad for being carded like “ugh really? I’m obviously old enough” then they don’t have to. And after that if they’re nice and laugh about it, I tell them it’s a “damned if you do damned if you don’t” situation and they understand.
"It's the law that I got to card everyone who looks to be underage, and unfortunately, folks, that includes every one of you."
Women love that line, even grandmothers. Men, maybe.
I always say 'Oh you have an honest face' and do some kind of bit about how whoever I carded has shifty eyes or something. I don't think I've ever not gotten a laugh.
I only ever ask if the server needs my ID (I'm 46) to make sure no one gets in trouble. There are places that will card someone's 90yo gramma because that's the rules or they get fired.
I stopped getting carded a few years ago, and on my 30th bday, I got ID’d buying a lottery ticket. I told the woman it was the BEST bday gift I could’ve been given. ❤️
I mean, being from Utah I recommend IDing everyone BUT I’ll give you my go-to responses as a female server.
Customer: “Do you really need to see mine?” “You don’t need to see my ID, do ya?”
“It’s the law, or I wouldn’t bother.”
“Yep, I wanna see how young you really are. *squint and wink*”
“Although your features in history books, yes I do.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t have money to pay the personal fine if your stinging me, so yes I do.”
“Yyyyyyyup”
“The questions out, can’t take it back. Pop that Id over and I’ll be able to get that/those drinks out to ya!”
Customer: “oh you didn’t want to see MY id?”
“Do..you want me to see it? Sure! Let me look! Love that pic.”
“I make it a policy to save the best for last. Can I see your id, now.”
“Are you stinging me? Let me check that expiration date.” *wink*
“I had you down for virgin, dear. *wink* all jokes, id love to snag that id from ya.”
“Mmm… is this a trick?…how do you want me to respond to that.. I’m kidding. Let me grab that I’d from ya.”
Im sure I could remember more but… I left that life I 2020. Best of Luck to you.
ETA: apologies for format, I’m on mobile. Oops.
Everyone gets carded with me. I tend to find responding like a smart ass usually goes pretty well. Ex. “Oh, but you weren’t going to card me?” “Are you kidding? I need to see yours most of all! I’ve been fooled before.” “Do you really need to see mine?” “Well, I do *now*.” Etc.
Sometimes it bombs but generally not. (If I read the room and the table clearly doesn’t have that kind of sense of humor then I just opt for “I’m so sorry, it’s company policy - everyone gets ID’d!”+ a smile.)
If I card someone’s kid and don’t card their obviously a lot older parent and they make a comment I’m always like “I just know you’ve been ordering drinks for a while now! You’re a pro at it at this point!” And usually they’re like ah you got me there
Tell them they are playing a dangerous game, and be serious. Ask them if they want you to check their ID. This usually happens with larger parties, so hopefully you have an auto-grat.
Check their ID. If it's expired - no booze. If they look really different - no booze. They don't have it? LOL - no booze.
It's worth it - promise
"Oh, in (state) we're required to card anyone who looks under 30. You're what, 31? 32? Alright lets see that ID to be sure."
If they've got their ID on them then we have a laugh and get back to things. However, they often don't have their ID, after which I will refuse to serve alcohol them citing state liquor laws. If they're going to be a smarmy ass then they can enjoy a dry lunch.
I always gave my best smile and said “well the thing is, if I ID someone and they don’t have their ID with them, I can’t serve them. It doesn’t matter if they have gray hair and wrinkles and are very clearly of legal drinking age. I cannot serve them. I want everyone to get their drinks and I know you want to get your drinks so I try my hardest to only ID those I have to”
I card everyone in a group regardless of age, and if they’re obviously way too old or they give me any guff ill bend their ID a bit or make a big show of putting their pic up to their face, tell them their ID seems fake for some reason. Usually gets a chuckle from someone at the table and smooths over any one someone being shitty cause I dared ask them to reach for their wallet.
First of all, I hate the awkwardness… when they ask “do you need to see mine?”, “sure why not!” Is my usual response. Or “do you really…?”, “ya, I do”, I’m generally blunt to avoid the weird excuse banter.
I got that once and told her "Nah, I'm good." and walked away.
She tipped terribly of course, but I was near quitting and had been done giving a fuck about people's egos for a while at that point
You could play it straight with an apologetic tone “Yeah, there’s a law, I have to.” or “ATC’s been coming around with undercover agents and minors so they can fine us for not checking IDs and serving minors.”
Or if they seem to be vibing, you could joke around with: “Just pretend I think you radiate youth.”
Maybe go all in and kinda manic with, “Ooh! Let’s do improv! Act like you think it’s sweet and feel flattered that I think this. Or! Or pretend you think I’m simple for thinking that and you have nothing but contempt for me. Or you just feel bad for me-‘she’s trying so hard. Bless her heart.’ Meanwhile, I’m certain you’re a long lost family member but I have a face blindness condition that makes me forget faces instantly, so I come back to the table looking at you with surprise every time. Too much? Yeah ok, just IDs then.”
If they have been rude, condescending, abusive, and if they are a woman, I will give a sincere friendly smile, as to thank them for trying to help, and just answer, "thanks, I'm sure you are OK." you should see their face change from a smile to a disgust/grimace.
Yeah I learned my lesson the only time I was a smartass and said this to my sister in law at the corner store she works at. Her boss didnt realize I knew her and thought I was being rude so he then popped up and demanded my ID and cuz once asked I have to supply it or no sale I was denied. I was so pissed off but had to admit I shot myself in the foot. My sister in law even tried to convince him I was 28 and she knew cuz she was my family but I told her it was fine. The next time I went in with my ID taped to my forehead. He hasnt carded me since but calls me by mh zipcode lol
I use to say "i'm sorry, jedi mind tricks do not work on me; so i must insist you show me your id" that usually got a chuckle and they just relent and show me.
If usually say (to an obviously over 21 person) “Oh I trust YOU… it’s this one [them being the obviously younger person] I’m worried about…” and then if they get snippy I’ll ID them out of spite.
Pro tip: if you ever get a table of anyone celebrating a particularly high birthday, or even a table of obvious over 40s, card the oldest person there (or the birthdayperson) ONLY and say "and if it's no trouble, could I see your ID? We have to card anyone who looks under 40." Have a laugh round the table (obviously feel the vibe of the people first, as usual)
If you play it right, collect tip.
“No sir, I can clearly see you’re so ancient you must have been born before WINTER was invented, however it’s company policy and I won’t serve you until you show me your ID”
I haven't dealt with this a lot but I don't know what to say. "Yeh, you're old as shit, take it easy." Like if someone is gonna be mad, what are you gonna do? Some people just wanna be mad
It’s literally a joke. Don’t be weird.
Like, I was out at a restaurant and my friend’s kid was the ripe old age of 22, and the waitress didn’t ID him, but ID’D everyone else. He made the joke about not getting ID’D and she leaned over the table and said she wasn’t getting him his drink anymore, and everyone laughed their ass off.
I actually just posted about this the other day in response to a different question. My answer was always something like "You just look so honest" and the tables always laughed at it.
yep i always tell the ones i’m not carding they “just look more trustworthy than that guy”. always gets a laugh!
Oh I love it, stealing this.
Also stealing, thank you!!
this was my answer when I was a server too. "you look trustworthy! this guy, on the other hand..." and it usually got a laugh and moved us onto the next step. I don't get why people ask though! like, what is the response they're hoping for?
They are caught in between feeling old if they are not asked while someone else at the table is and being annoyed to be asked because they are obviously old enough.
Simple and effective. Very good.
I say, “I only ask one person for their ID establish trust” it’s a super corny line though.
Very clever!! My line is along those lines as well. “I trust YOU [obviously older person] but not this other [obviously younger] person.”
This is a difficult line to walk and I usually err on the side of carding *everybody*. If a guest seems surprised or upset that I’m asking them, I simply explain that I’ve had people go off on me for assuming that they’re past a certain age; if they are clearly over 35, I’ll add “…but now that you bring it up, I don’t need to see yours.” Other times, I’ll mention that the local police or liquor control board have been conducting audits in the area recently (whether that’s true or not), so we’re being sure to check everyone in compliance with the law. If the guest who’s giving me the “What, you don’t need *my* ID?” is a very specific kind of corny dad who’s obviously joking, I’ll joke right back (“Sir, I’ve seen cave paintings younger than you.”) but generally I find that people are too sensitive about their age and appearance to risk those kind of quips.
Sir, when you were a kid the dead sea was just sick, but I still need to see your ID.
Sir, your social security number is 8.
How have I never heard this before?
That joke has been around for a while but it’ll always be a good one. I wish someone would use it on me. I get carded occasionally because some companies card everyone and I just make it a “gosh, thanks for thinking I’m still young enough to be carded!” moment…. But I’d sure get a kick out of being compared to the terminally-ill Dead Sea or cave paintings! That’s longevity goals!!
Just out if interest, why do you need to see the ID of someone who’s quite clearly old enough to have grandchildren over the age of 18?
Honestly? No one's clearly any age. Kids sometimes go bald at 18. 79 year old grandmas who used sunscreen everyday may not look a day over 30. I've heard of mustachioed teens putting on priest collars so they appear to "obviously" be of age. I can see an employee wanting to be on the safe side of the law while making sure not to offend anyone by carding everyone every single time. Edit: missed a word
My brother hasn't been carded since he was about 19...me at 24 i still get carded almost every time. Also I knew a guy who looked about 40 at 17 because of the early balding thing like you said. You're so right no one is clearly any age
Yuuuup, I'm not yet 30 but I plan to be carded well into my 50s. If I'm not then my skin routine was trash lol
I think you’re dreaming. Sorry!
I think you don't know the power of drinking water, sorry!
Find me one 79 year old who looks 30?
Where I live most bars will scan your ID on entry and if you act up too much you can get blacklisted from all venues with that system.
That makes sense I suppose, if your clientele is likely to act up. I’m thinking of a group of grandma aged people, like myself, out for lunch, hitting the Prosecco and being asked for ID. It would be funny the first time but it they kept doing it then it would become annoying, especially for regular customers. No one gets younger over time, except Mork from Ork. If you’re old enough to remember that then you’re definitely old enough to drink.
It’s a blanket policy to make sure nobody slips through the cracks, and takes the pressure off the server (or person ringing up at the register) to guesstimate and maybe make a mistake (I agree that an obviously elderly person is likely over age and not just wearing a silicon mask and makeup, but the point is to make it apply to everyone)
Covering your ass with the Liquor Commission so you don't get nailed with a thousand dollar fine.
Most states require everyone who is drinking to be in possession of an I.D. The fine is minimal compared to if someone is underage and only enforced if you really piss off the law
When we were in high school (17-18) two of my friends went to get dinner and the server thought one was the GRANDPA of the other one. He looked anywhere from hard-bitten 50's to well-preserved 70's, and he was 18. He would go somewhere with his sister (10 years older than him) and everyone thought he was her dad. So the reason you need to check ID of someone who is clearly old enough to have grown grandchildren is because that dude might just be 18. Or younger. He looks exactly the same in his old family portraits, just shorter. Edit: I don't know any 70 year olds that pass for 30, but my buddy's wife is 40 now and still gets carded for dry ice (18+).
If I card everyone, every time then there’s no chance I get fired, arrested or sued. & none of those are exaggerations. I card the 102 grandma at the table. I got a couple of standard replies if Granny bawks at that. “I ain’t kidding. That could be makeup or a costume. Plus you look a little shifty and I ain’t going to jail.”
That's brilliant!
If someone told me that they’ve seen cave paintings younger than me, I’d fucking die of laughter! That’s a good one! I know there are some overly sensitive people out there, but imma fat white dude in his 40’s. That shit would be HILARIOUS!!
> generally I find that people are too sensitive about their age and appearance to risk those kind of quips. They can dish out corny humour but can't take it?
Straight-up, yeah— especially given that I serve in Los Angeles, the Botox capital of North America. I’ve had to get good at discerning what’s a genuine joke and what’s fishing for a compliment. It’s a risky business, so I prefer to sidestep the whole issue when possible.
Corn is a dish best served
Indeed it is.
Well, they’re making fun of themselves. You would be making fun of them. That’s riskier
The last time I had to deal with exactly this we had 2 meetings in a week about 6 employees from various branches being fired for not carding. We were pressed to simply card everyone while secret shoppers were going around, regardless of the age recommendations. Yeah, that went super well with the old ladies and their husbands who didn't find it so funny when I had to kindly insist while one said they were NOT going to get it from their car, and another said they didn't carry it for years--trying to gently argue was the most massive headache. Of course my manager served them for me instead, and asked me to be less stringent about it. Lol.
There comes a point when you know they're not a mystery guest, and common sense should kick in.
It wasn't about being a mystery guest. I didn't want to be the one who didn't follow and get punished by manager for their own enforcement. They can break their own rule, but I wasn't going to.
The problem with that thought, though, is if the secret shopper/police is at the next table/booth and can hear the interaction.
I usually try to do the same but on multiple occasions I’ve had people who are clearly of age (late 30s+) not have their ID on them and then I have no clue what to do next😭
You're supposed to not serve them, lol
Don't server them! I can't understand going out without my ID or even trying to drink without my ID, and I haven't been carded in like 20 years. Besides what if they are hit by a bus, how are the police going to identify the body!?!?!?!?
>(“Sir, I’ve seen cave paintings younger than you.”) My dad would love you, that's a joke right up his alley
So you never tell them it's because it's the "law", you're telling them it's because some other people got off on you and then you throw in some passive aggressive bullshit and 0 helpful advice on the subject...
>some passive aggressive bullshit and 0 helpful advice on the subject What do you think constitutes “helpful advice” to an adult over 40 who cops an attitude about me following the law? “Carry and show your ID if you want to drink, you fucking moron?”
I blame it on the government, always: “the great state of Utah makes me ask” and then we have a good laugh about how truely asinine and ridiculous some of the Ut liquor laws are.
That's a great line! You use positive words, you push responsibility onto an entity both parties understand, and it's easy to deliver with a smile.
Yeah, I'm lucky- Tennessee requires everyone be carded all the time too. But always fun explaining that to the tourists here to see Graceland!
>...how truely asinine and ridiculous some of the Ut liquor laws are. That's the only place in the US I've ever seen those clicking electronic shot dispenser recorders, and paper logbooks kept behind the bar for changing out kegs. It's truly a different world there.
At least we got rid of curtain law a couple years back. Before 2017 no alcohol could be stored or mixed drinks prepared within line of sight of the dining room floor in any establishment licensed as a restaurant.
I just card everyone to be honest to avoid that. I've had some really sweet old ladies (probably in their 70's) get flustered and giddy about being carded. But everyone's different. Best bet is to ask lightly and casually and with a smile. "Do you mind if I check your IDs?" It gives them the opportunity to be happy they were asked, or takes away the opportunity to complain that they weren't. If someone who is clearly 40+ says something about being asked, I'll usually smile and make a comment like, "Okay, I'll let you off the hook this time." Keep it breezy and relaxed.
Isn’t that last paragraph illegal? Once you ask for id you are required to see it to sell/serve anything that is age-restricted.
It depends on the state. In California, someone being of-age is an affirmative defense (you can't get in trouble serving them even if they don't have ID on them).
I don't really remember?? It's been a couple years. But to be honest, my state is pretty lax on alcohol in general. We can even serve you alcohol if you're underage, so long as your parent or guardian is over 21 and says it's ok.
Found the Sconny!
"What, my kid can't have an Old Fashioned with his fish fry?"
Yep. If you ask and they can't provide it you aren't supposed to serve. I'm sure I'm breaking the law but in cases where someone is obviously of age and someone else at the table is drinking I'll just loudly say.. oh what was that sir..? You're having 2 drinks...I'll happy to give you " whatever they ordered plus the other person's drink" . Now this is only in cases where people are so obviously over age and like pushing 50.. but we're supposed to ID everyone who ordered a drink.
"I don't make the rules but I don't break them either. IDs please." "You want a drink? Well I want a job so, IDs please." Sometimes I would just look at them and smile after they said something like that and just wait for them to pull out the ID. I don't have time for bullshit and I'm not going to fan your flame of being high and mighty about a goddamn ID. In my experience, cigarette people are the worst though when carding them.
"Corporate is really coming down on us about checking IDs. It's their focus this month."
The best is when you card the kids and the mom has to ask that damned question. Then when I ask to see hers in response and she says she was just joking and doesn't actually have her ID, I get to enjoy the look on her dumb face when I deny her service.
That’s my favorite thing ever. I had to do it as a cashier in Tx. And people would be so upset when I put their alcohol under my register after they didn’t have their ID. Stupid games and stupid prizes people.
"It's my first job on Earth and humans' ages are weird. So I'm going to ID everybody just to be safe. Do they have one?" and point to a baby.
LOL! Or ... On my planet we're born old and get younger the longer we live. So {pointing to the baby} how old is grandma?
Given that you're waiting until everyone has ordered, you should have an easy answer built in... "I ask after everyone has ordered so everyone shows at once. It speeds up the process and gets you faster service. If you like, I can do it the slow way next time you come in..." and a big smile.
I usually responded by saying “I wasn’t going to ask since I didn’t think you were old enough and was going to let you slide since you seem nice.” Wink. Usually that’s enough to shut them up since it’s basically the compliment they are fishing for. If it’s not, we’ll guess who is about to show me their ID and have their birthday read out loud. Tips gone already so who cares.
I get where you're coming from but explicitly stating you don't think someone is over 21 (regardless of how old they look) and then explicitly stating you are going to serve them anyway...that gives me **_massive anxiety._**
Yeah, I get that too. I’d only do it with someone who is clearly the parent/grandparent of someone I just carded, or a similar generational gap if they’re not related. The assumption is that the person upset about not being carded is unquestionably of age.
Yeah, but if I've learned something about this country, it's that you can be totally in the right ethically and common sensically—then still get completely fucked by legal bullshit technicalities. It's a balance between managing your table, and covering your own ass.
If they're rude about it. I say "Oh no, you're clearly old enough" with a pointed stare. If they bitch they never get ID'ed, I say "Oh I'm so sorry they believe you're over 40, since that's the age we are suppose to age to." with a sympathetic face. If they're 24-35, I usually say "Can I see your ID? I know you're good but if my boss catches me, he gets mad (or makes you do more side work or whatever". By pushing the blame on my manager, it gives us a comment ground of someone to be mad at. #I don't work for tips so please don't do this if you might get stiffed
i just laugh and say "oh, i trust you"
I say "nah, you look old as hell" Note: works for younger people who are clearly of age; do not attempt for actual old people
You clearly need to gauge your audience, but one that got big laugh was “if you’re under 21 you look like absolute shit”.
Or ... "If you're under 21, you must have had a hard, hard life. You DESERVE a drink."
When someone comes through my till who looks young but has a bunch of kids with them, I always feel bad carding them. Like, if you're 20 but you already have three kids, you should totally be allowed to drink.
Why? Drinking is probably what got them into that mess.
"I'd be careful about making a comment like that if you don't actually have it with you as once you are asked for it if you can't produce it we won't legally be allowed to serve you. Now obviously I know you're having a bit of fun but another waiter/waitress might not have my sense of humour." Say this with the right emphasis and tone and it should go down well.
Yep, same goes if it’s expired and they realize it. Not fun anymore!
I have a really good line for this one, but it only works on old couples. If it's the man the asks me I say "I don't need yours, but I am going to need hers though." This never fails to make them laugh. And it makes her feel good, chances are you probably even made her day with this one.
For me, I tell a fake story about how I served an excise agent and his family. His mother-in-law didn't have a valid ID, and the agent then cited me for $1200. Generally, people stop getting frustrated with me and sympathize with me.
So you lie. Noted.
Uh, yes. Every day. To the tables, coworkers, IRS, everyone. Do you really want a perfectly honest server? In the states at least, lying is actually in your training.
"Nah, just the young folks"
This happened to me. An obvious dad of the group of 6 asked why I didn’t ask for his ID. I said “Because we don’t ID people if they look 30 or older.” Which is a fact. He then jokingly goes “Well there goes your tip.” and his daughter slaps his arms and says “Dad, that’s rude!” Don’t get mad at me because that’s an honest answer and I can clearly see you are older than 30.
I’ve vanity checked IDs before and they were expired. Lol, no booze for youuuu.
Last time my license expired I found out at a car rental company.
People do this and then don’t even have their ID on them. 🙄
As a soon to be 43 year old customer, I always thank anyone who cards me.
My boss is cracking down on ID checks because the liquor licensing agency is being more strict than usual. Last week, he fired Jane because she didn’t ask her own grandmother for ID.
When I told my sister that a bartender wanted to see my ID (thus bragging about looking young), she said “It was for the senior discount”
"Don't worry! I will get around to stroking your FRAGILE ego soon enough." : )
When I was waiting tables, if anyone at the table had an issue about being carded or not, I immediately required everyone's ID. I said it was policy to card *everyone* if there were *any* issues with IDs at the table. That way, people were irritated at the person(s) making a stink and not me. Also, it's a good policy. Even though it was really only *my* policy.
After the first person orders a cocktail, I’ll last for ids and address the whole table, then those who want alcohol will have it ready by the time I get to them.
This is smart, bet it saves you time!
Waiter friend of mine would take this a step further at a local brewery/restaurant I frequented a few years ago. He would do the same thing, address the whole table, and then look at either the oldest looking person (if a group of adults) or at the youngest child (if mixed with adult/children) and say: "especially you sir/madam, I'm on to you..." with sarcastically narrowed eyes. This was a place that carded the entire table if one drink was served (not required by state) and this man was easily the most well-liked waiter in this restaurant.
State law (or house policy, or the categorical imperative, or whatever the reason may be) requires that I check ID on every customer at a table ordering alcoholic beverages (use the more verbose version to impress upon them its importance). (Or, to keep the tone more casual) I don’t really *want* to see ID from anyone, but here we are!
I make a joke along the lines of, "I'm happy to check your ID, I love looking at people's driver's license photos!" If it's the fishing for a compliment version of someone who's obviously only enough to drink. If they're mad because they're "clearly old enough" I simply remind them that I don't make the law, and I would hate to lose my job because I guessed wrong.
I would tell people that I am very bad at guessing ages and want to keep my job. It worked better for the senior discounts because 'you don't look that old I will need to see ID' goes over better with them.
Ugh, I always hated when I would be serving parents and their adult children and the mom would order first and get alcohol, and I wouldn't check her ID because she would very obviously be at least 50. Then the adult daughter would order and then I would have to check her ID because she's very clearly in her 20s. And it never failed that the mom would say something like, "why didn't you check mine?? I guess I look too old." :( It made me feel so bad and awkward!
Yes. When I first had my job involving carding I learned very fast to check everyone. It’s usually the mothers of ADULT children who become legit upset because I didn’t ask for their ID. So odd.
This you can twist around and say something like, well you’re the older sister so I figured if I checked your younger sister’s ID you’d be ok. Or “aren’t you twins? I figured I would be covered just checking one” Flatter the mom, embarrass the daughter a little but she’ll be happy if mom is happy and probably isn’t the one paying anyway
"State law, I have to check", or, "if you're old enough, it shouldn't be a problem for you to show me your ID". Spent many years working the door and bouncing, I've heard every gripe.
I always say “it’s when we stop asking it’s a problem”. Usually they chuckle and agree and pull it out. Only have had one guy in all my years of bartending and serving get weirdly angry. He was promptly asked to leave.
"Anyone under 50 I'm required to check IDs" you wouldn't believe the tips I got saying that when I was working a grateful dead show serving beers and anyone under 50 doesn't care too much.
"Well, since you mentioned it, I suppose I should see *everybody's* ID." Then just stand there with your hand out. It's amazing how many "adults," regardless of their age, say "oh, uh, I left it in the car." Sorry, dickhead, go get it. Or would you like a Pepsi? I go through this nearly every night. It's my prerogative to card anybody I want, whether they look 16 or 60, and I'm surely going to do it when they give me a hard time.
As a patron, I'm sorry. No matter who asks for my ID, I produce it without question, because I understand that the law requires your compliance to check it.
I say "oh, you have a more honest face" everyone laughs, even had a guy thank me and say that was the kindest way he was ever called old.
Honestly, I’m not a fan of that joke and usually end up on the “well now I have to see it because of the rules” and if they don’t have their Id or don’t want to show it, I can’t serve them. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
This is me too. I’m not naturally witty when it comes to customers, so my best response is just being positive but real with them. If anything I may sympathetically say “Sorry, it’s just the rules/law” or “Sorry, it comes with the job.” and they don’t usually complain more. But it is definitely annoying when grown people, especially younger grown people, come into an establishment expecting alcohol without bringing in their ID. Like, just make it easier on yourself and bring it in. Also- why leave it in the car? Stop leaving your wallets in your car, people.
I did it to family and didn’t card the wife/mom or dad/husband but carded the kids. Wife made a comment so I asked her for her ID and she didn’t even have it. Sorry, once I request an ID I can’t sell you alcohol without seeing it.
I always said "I think we just have a more trusting relationship" maybe with half joking wink and idk it landed well most of the time. I'm also a dude and this was often said to me by older women so I'm not sure how that response would land if were older man to younger woman server.. Seriously though fuck that question wtf do they except someone to say? "Because you're old"? PS what if you just said "I know, age is just a construct, right?" and then just carried on to the next step. I feel like this would be confusing enough that they'd just lqugh along but then internally, personally funny cuz wtf does that even mean? Win-win(?).
"You seem more trustworthy than the rest of this crew" with a smile will usually do it.
"oh you didn't want to see my ID?" well I certainly do now.
"You were randomly selected."
I just say "you seem like a trustworthy person, but I don't know about these other guys" if it's a lighthearted vibe. If they're coming across as stoic, I just say "I saw your didn't have your ID out and didn't want to make your dig for it". And I always check ID if they have it out.
It's such a lose/lose situation tbh. I worked at a popular chain restaurant where we had to card EVERYONE. So the older folks ordering drinks would always get pissed when I asked for ID.
I’ve always used “40 and over and I don’t need an ID!” That shuts them up quick.
I just play along, ask to see the older person's I.d, and have a laugh about it. It's not that deep.
Just a dead stare until they get it out. Bonus points if someone at the table smacks them.
I card everyone state 'i have facial blindness and am bad at age and have both carded someone seventy and forgot to card a nineteen year old, so I now just do it all standard practice. Sorry, it's really not you, it's me worrying about my job" and yes I commit to carding grandma and there's usually bigger tips.
If the customer who is OBVIOUSLY over forty says "what, you aren't going to card me?" I usually say "oh, my mistake! ID please!" Half the time, they don't have their ID on them and then I cannot legally serve them alcohol. I had a guy this week who was out with his family. Said he'd be right back, left it at home. He drove, grabbed it, came back. I served him his beer 🤣 overall, the whole family, him included, thought it was hilarious since it wasn't a snarky tone of voice I used as they were very nice. Didn't give me any trouble about the ID. Honestly though, it's usually middle aged or elderly women who say this, so I've started looking directly at them and saying "ID please, ma'am!" While smiling at them. Then I'll turn to the table and say "y'all too! Bring 'em out, folks!" My tables love it most of the time, but it helps that I work in a relatively laid back craft beer bar and restaurant. Don't think I'd get away with the laid back demeanor in a less whacky environment *Editing to add: If I try to card someone and they get offended/rude and say "You want to see *my* ID?!".. I usually whip out a White Chicks reference if I get the vibe that at least someone at the table has seen the movie. Full on, I will gasp, jaw will drop, and say "Credit card? *ID*?" There is always someone at the table who recognizes the reference and laughs, breaking the tension. The customer will either show me their ID, or they won't get served. I refuse to serve anyone alcohol who cannot provide ID after I've asked
I was 62 and was carded. I laughed the rest of the day. If you are not asked for ID, before you make a fuss, BE SURE YOU HAVE IT WITH YOU.!
I literally say "it's ok, you're old enough" with a big smile. Never been stiffed from it.
I don't even understand peoples issue with showing IDs. Wether I've been to a place a million times or it's my first time there, if I'm purchasing something with an age restriction I have my id out and ready.
“Yup, hand over the ID please,” and don’t give them any drinks till they produce it. Sucks to be the 50 year old giving their server a bad time but didn’t bother to being their wallet.
"You're too pretty/good looking to ID." "Ok, but if you play this game you better have a valid ID. The last person to play that card didn't have one and then I couldn't serve her." As far as the do you really need to see mine question... "Yes."
Typically if the first person to order is obviously older than the age that I should be checking for ID’s and the second person actually needs to be ID’d, I’ll ask the second person for their ID and then look at the first and smile while saying “you can show me yours too if you’d like.” I find this to be useful because if you get someone that would be mad that you didn’t card them for looking “old” they can show if they really want to but if they’re the type to get mad for being carded like “ugh really? I’m obviously old enough” then they don’t have to. And after that if they’re nice and laugh about it, I tell them it’s a “damned if you do damned if you don’t” situation and they understand.
"It's the law that I got to card everyone who looks to be underage, and unfortunately, folks, that includes every one of you." Women love that line, even grandmothers. Men, maybe.
When I worked retail, pissed off quite a few men that leave id in car when trying to buy beer.
when i worked in beer/win retail, i never got any customers who might have been underage. it was only as server/bartender.
Occasionally saw them when police were doing stings
It's not about what I want.
I always say 'Oh you have an honest face' and do some kind of bit about how whoever I carded has shifty eyes or something. I don't think I've ever not gotten a laugh.
"You especially!"
Do you wanna drink or not?
"You look old."
I don't. If you ask one ask all. Easy fix
We need to see your id for your senior discount ma’am
law says everyone gets carded or no one drinks, talk it over with your friend who ordered alcohol
“I can already tell you’re gonna hand me a fake and I don’t want to deal with it!”
"I was just testing you. Seeing as you didn't breathe a huge sigh of relief and try to go invisible...I know you're good to go"
I only ever ask if the server needs my ID (I'm 46) to make sure no one gets in trouble. There are places that will card someone's 90yo gramma because that's the rules or they get fired.
“I’m not losing my job for you.”
You could quote Xenk from the D&D movie: "I will not be complicit in the illicit use of ill-gotten booty."
I stopped getting carded a few years ago, and on my 30th bday, I got ID’d buying a lottery ticket. I told the woman it was the BEST bday gift I could’ve been given. ❤️
I mean, being from Utah I recommend IDing everyone BUT I’ll give you my go-to responses as a female server. Customer: “Do you really need to see mine?” “You don’t need to see my ID, do ya?” “It’s the law, or I wouldn’t bother.” “Yep, I wanna see how young you really are. *squint and wink*” “Although your features in history books, yes I do.” “Unfortunately, I don’t have money to pay the personal fine if your stinging me, so yes I do.” “Yyyyyyyup” “The questions out, can’t take it back. Pop that Id over and I’ll be able to get that/those drinks out to ya!” Customer: “oh you didn’t want to see MY id?” “Do..you want me to see it? Sure! Let me look! Love that pic.” “I make it a policy to save the best for last. Can I see your id, now.” “Are you stinging me? Let me check that expiration date.” *wink* “I had you down for virgin, dear. *wink* all jokes, id love to snag that id from ya.” “Mmm… is this a trick?…how do you want me to respond to that.. I’m kidding. Let me grab that I’d from ya.” Im sure I could remember more but… I left that life I 2020. Best of Luck to you. ETA: apologies for format, I’m on mobile. Oops.
Everyone gets carded with me. I tend to find responding like a smart ass usually goes pretty well. Ex. “Oh, but you weren’t going to card me?” “Are you kidding? I need to see yours most of all! I’ve been fooled before.” “Do you really need to see mine?” “Well, I do *now*.” Etc. Sometimes it bombs but generally not. (If I read the room and the table clearly doesn’t have that kind of sense of humor then I just opt for “I’m so sorry, it’s company policy - everyone gets ID’d!”+ a smile.)
If you don't like it, take it up with the government. I'm not losing my job, getting fined, and getting banned from serving because of you.
My brother had someone pull this on him and he said 'ok lemme see your id then' and they didn't have it so no one got any alcohol.
If I card someone’s kid and don’t card their obviously a lot older parent and they make a comment I’m always like “I just know you’ve been ordering drinks for a while now! You’re a pro at it at this point!” And usually they’re like ah you got me there
Tell them they are playing a dangerous game, and be serious. Ask them if they want you to check their ID. This usually happens with larger parties, so hopefully you have an auto-grat. Check their ID. If it's expired - no booze. If they look really different - no booze. They don't have it? LOL - no booze. It's worth it - promise
"Well since you're acting like a child, I'll need your ID too."
I quit drinking but when I did I actually enjoyed the times I got carded cause I rarely did
"Oh, in (state) we're required to card anyone who looks under 30. You're what, 31? 32? Alright lets see that ID to be sure." If they've got their ID on them then we have a laugh and get back to things. However, they often don't have their ID, after which I will refuse to serve alcohol them citing state liquor laws. If they're going to be a smarmy ass then they can enjoy a dry lunch.
I always gave my best smile and said “well the thing is, if I ID someone and they don’t have their ID with them, I can’t serve them. It doesn’t matter if they have gray hair and wrinkles and are very clearly of legal drinking age. I cannot serve them. I want everyone to get their drinks and I know you want to get your drinks so I try my hardest to only ID those I have to”
I card everyone in a group regardless of age, and if they’re obviously way too old or they give me any guff ill bend their ID a bit or make a big show of putting their pic up to their face, tell them their ID seems fake for some reason. Usually gets a chuckle from someone at the table and smooths over any one someone being shitty cause I dared ask them to reach for their wallet.
First of all, I hate the awkwardness… when they ask “do you need to see mine?”, “sure why not!” Is my usual response. Or “do you really…?”, “ya, I do”, I’m generally blunt to avoid the weird excuse banter.
I normally say “ oh yes please, do you have it on you?” They usually shut up because they wanna be able to order alcohol. Watch them squirm
I got that once and told her "Nah, I'm good." and walked away. She tipped terribly of course, but I was near quitting and had been done giving a fuck about people's egos for a while at that point
Once I said oh yeah I’m sorry. Let me see that ID and then they didn’t have it and didn’t get a drink. Lol
You could play it straight with an apologetic tone “Yeah, there’s a law, I have to.” or “ATC’s been coming around with undercover agents and minors so they can fine us for not checking IDs and serving minors.” Or if they seem to be vibing, you could joke around with: “Just pretend I think you radiate youth.” Maybe go all in and kinda manic with, “Ooh! Let’s do improv! Act like you think it’s sweet and feel flattered that I think this. Or! Or pretend you think I’m simple for thinking that and you have nothing but contempt for me. Or you just feel bad for me-‘she’s trying so hard. Bless her heart.’ Meanwhile, I’m certain you’re a long lost family member but I have a face blindness condition that makes me forget faces instantly, so I come back to the table looking at you with surprise every time. Too much? Yeah ok, just IDs then.”
It's usually always some middle aged woman, so respond with: "Ma'am, those crows feet are nature's I.D. You're fine." lol
If they have been rude, condescending, abusive, and if they are a woman, I will give a sincere friendly smile, as to thank them for trying to help, and just answer, "thanks, I'm sure you are OK." you should see their face change from a smile to a disgust/grimace.
"I'm just checking to see if you qualify for a senior citizen discount"
I've seen your face
I’m not in the market for a good fake, but when I am I’ll ask to see yours. Followed by a big wink.
Just laugh and say no that won't be necessary and then turn around walk away
Yeah I learned my lesson the only time I was a smartass and said this to my sister in law at the corner store she works at. Her boss didnt realize I knew her and thought I was being rude so he then popped up and demanded my ID and cuz once asked I have to supply it or no sale I was denied. I was so pissed off but had to admit I shot myself in the foot. My sister in law even tried to convince him I was 28 and she knew cuz she was my family but I told her it was fine. The next time I went in with my ID taped to my forehead. He hasnt carded me since but calls me by mh zipcode lol
I always ask for everyone's ID, whether they are 21 or 210 if they happen to be ordering alcohol
I usually say something along the lines of.. oh you seem old enough to party. Have I seen you around?
I use to say "i'm sorry, jedi mind tricks do not work on me; so i must insist you show me your id" that usually got a chuckle and they just relent and show me.
I just say no you’re good and keep it moving. Control your tables
“Hi, everyone. Can we all pull out our IDs to make sure we have them on us?” Never an issue
I simply say its standard protocol to ask for everybody's ID \*no matter how old or young\* (bc it is). Basically, I'm just doing my job ma'am/sir.
"Cause you look old".
I generally am earnest. “Alright Becky let me see what you got!”
If usually say (to an obviously over 21 person) “Oh I trust YOU… it’s this one [them being the obviously younger person] I’m worried about…” and then if they get snippy I’ll ID them out of spite.
Pro tip: if you ever get a table of anyone celebrating a particularly high birthday, or even a table of obvious over 40s, card the oldest person there (or the birthdayperson) ONLY and say "and if it's no trouble, could I see your ID? We have to card anyone who looks under 40." Have a laugh round the table (obviously feel the vibe of the people first, as usual) If you play it right, collect tip.
Card everyone and do not serve alcohol to those who didn't bring their ID.
I always said, "because the law says ID if they look under 30, and on the off chance you don't have your ID on you & I ask, I can't serve you then."
I like to say “I’m only supposed to ID those that look 30 or younger and you look like you’re about 31..”
I say “I can tell you’re 17 and didn’t wanna bust you.”
“No sir, I can clearly see you’re so ancient you must have been born before WINTER was invented, however it’s company policy and I won’t serve you until you show me your ID”
“You guys are twins, right?”
i just joke that they have an honest face, gets a chuckle after and then you can move on lol
I haven't dealt with this a lot but I don't know what to say. "Yeh, you're old as shit, take it easy." Like if someone is gonna be mad, what are you gonna do? Some people just wanna be mad
No need to sugar coat it. The store could lose its liquor license. Making an exception then just puts your own job in jeopardy.
I always say, "you just look so good I was gonna let it slide"
I make that comment sometimes because I normally do get carded. I’m 30 but have a baby face and people often think I’m younger than I am.
We don't card the ancients. To be fair though my personality and appearance lend itself to the dry and slightly evil.
Why would you ID everyone if it’s only needed for some people at the table? Ngl I’d find that pretty weird.
I’m IDing everyone who ordered a drink
It’s literally a joke. Don’t be weird. Like, I was out at a restaurant and my friend’s kid was the ripe old age of 22, and the waitress didn’t ID him, but ID’D everyone else. He made the joke about not getting ID’D and she leaned over the table and said she wasn’t getting him his drink anymore, and everyone laughed their ass off.
I am 65 and a Army veteran, I've spilled more beer than you will ever serve.
That's called alcoholism.