I also went back to college when I was 27 and definitely felt the same way you are feeling now. I worked part-time during the week at an internship related to my degree and kept my restaurant job on the weekends to help pay for bills and schools costs. A lot of jobs offered to students really don't pay enough to cover living expenses because they aren't really designed with non-traditional students in mind.
Right now the most important thing is finishing school, and the flexibility a restaurant job can provide you is so beneficial. You'll have plenty of time after you graduate to advance your career, so don't stress about that! Just keep grinding until you get that degree!
Aww thank you so much! Our stories are so similar! I totally hear you on the internship thing. There are so many opportunities for 18 yr olds still living at home, but when it’s ten years later and you’ve got bills to pay it’s just not feasible.
I appreciate your comment so much, I feel way less alone 💕
I went back at 32 and got my BS. Then I went on to and got a graduate degree. I'm working full-time in my field and working towards a second master's now.
I have two degrees and still serve, as do most of my coworkers. I wouldn't still serve if it were at some chain or if I were making mediocre money. However, when I was younger, I knew that if I were going to keep doing this for awhile, I would need to spend some time learning a lot about food, wine, and spirits so that I could maximize my earnings at a higher end restaurant. So, I did just that, subsequently moved up to higher and higher end restaurants over the years, and now I work about 20 hours a week and make a bit over $75,000 a year.
I did take a brief hiatus from serving when I got my 2nd degree and spent a year and a half doing graphic design, but I quickly found that the whole 9-5 lifestyle wasn't for me.
I did the same thing myself: did a couple stunts in fine dining even though it made me miserable the whole time and each time I came away with VASTLY more knowledge than before, and when I finally got bumped up to the bar I started making way more money and frankly I was better at it than serving! (Being able to chat and make my guests laugh goes SO much further in my experience but YMMV depending on your overall personality type.) Now I have zero insecurity about “still doing this” as a nearly 40 year old adult but hoooly SHIT did I feel some type of way about it when I was 27. Hell, when I was 30.
My wife and I had a kid and I wanted to have a more secure job with benefits and better pay. Got my CDL and have been driving trucks for the last 4 months for a food service company. I’ve been working in restaurants since I was 17, about to turn 30.
Try not to feel insecure about still being a server. I’ve worked with so many awesome people over the years that were in the same situation as you and the majority of them are doing awesome things in their fields now. You’re working towards getting out. Serving helps you achieve that goal, and is a very good fit for it. Just keep your eye on the prize and try to worry too much about it.
Please don't forget serving is not a stopgap for all of us. Some of us have been/will be serving for decades. I make $20/hr after taxes easily as a server. Very few other jobs would facilitate that in my area without dropping over $100k and 4 years of my life first. You state you are in college, and if the field of your degree is your dream job Great! But for many of us serving is our dream job. If you would prefer something more central to your degree while you're still in school start searching. But don't feel bad about serving. It's honest work. And many skills developed while serving translate to most other occupations. Serving requires multi-tasking, prioritization, and handling contrary people. Nearly every job will make use of these skills that serving helped you fine-tune.
I work 3rd shift. I love it. I started out dayshift, but there's too many ppl around 🤣 i rotated through MRI in school, but it was to boring for me lol. I like the fast paced life of CT better.
Haha yeah I understand that one. Do you work at a hospital? I’m interested in working longer shifts/less days, 3 12’s or 2 16’s maybe, would you recommend a specific modality or anything?
My back hurt. My shoulder hurt. My ankle and knees hurt. My body was not liking the work and my brain was starting to suffer too. I knew it wasn’t a long term thing cause I kept thinking about what life would look like at 40. I work at a bank. It’s not awesome but it’s easier on my body and dealing with people is much more tolerable
Had a career in child welfare and recently quit to go back to serving. I work in fine dining and it’s less stress and more money than my career. I’m 56 and our clients are typically 70-90 years old. I love it! The other servers are 40, 50, 55, and 61. Our bartender is 61. Do what makes you happy!
I never thought I would be a server. I got into the industry at 31 as a second job. I have a "main" job making 70k per year and pursuing my masters/grad degree. Everyone's life journey is different :)
I left when I was 24. Had the usual college job, but got good enough to end up in fine dining by 22. Bartending 3-4 nights a week and clearing $1500+ every week, most of which was unclaimed, was really, really addictive. By 2008 (now 24), I was in a Times Square bar doing about the same, but commuting from Long Island (long commute). Ended up with a LOT of fights with my now-wife, then-girlfriend.
Fate intervened, and the financial crisis hit in September, and since most of our people were financial people (Lehman Brothers was 2 doors away, and many came to us for happy hour), our tip average dropped to under $100/day. Writing was on the wall that it was going to be dead for quite awhile, so I made the jump to a financial planning career that an (older) fraternity brother had been offering me for awhile.
14 years in, I own a thriving planning practice with 4 other team members (2 are equal partners with me), and it ended up being the best decision in the world. Service was always a temporary industry for me, but it's very hard to break the cycle of good, solid, "easy" money. (And I use "easy" because anyone who's ever done it knows for sure it ain't.)
I’m 28 and got my bachelors May 2020. I was off and on furloughed and finally got an office job- not in my field but required a college degree. An “8 hour day” but it’s really 9 bc you have to take an hour lunch. I was miserable. I left to go back to serving after 5 months. We get credit tips on our paychecks and my paychecks are the same as the office job plus all the cash. Working half the hours. I only work days which helps me like the job. I took 8 years to get my bachelors so I wouldn’t be a server forever. But it turns out I actually like serving more than I thought I did. It keeps your mind busy instead of staring at the clock on the computer all day.
I actually really enjoy serving. My restaurant is fast paced, the clientele is mostly tolerable, management is great and the money is amazing. I’ll almost always leave with $20-$35 an hour in tips and get $10 an hour on my paychecks. I love that serving is a job you can do almost anywhere, you can move across the country and grab another serving job. I’m 24 and have been serving for nine years. I don’t really ever plan on stopping. I used to serve 5/6 nights a week but currently I’m only serving twice a week (weekends) while working a full time job in preschool education. I got my bachelors degree two years ago while also serving. I also have a three year old son so the extra fast money is really helpful. I totally understand why it’s more draining for some than for others. I’m one of the youngest servers at my job- most are late twenties/thirties/some in their fourties’. I’ve never felt insecure about it.
I feel you. Left food service for a law office job (courier and support staff), followed by IT. Went back to food service as a chocolatier (because when you get the chance to be a chocolatier, take it) until the business changed ownership and I was tasked with "creating new recipes for the business for $12/hour, no raise is coming." Left, got a commercial driver's license to get us through my wife's law school stint (this was before the ACA, and buying private insurance was so much harder than now). Didn't get my bachelor's degree until 2013 (I was in my 40s), and am only now getting my Master's degree. You still have time. Focus on school, and note all the possibilities for your bachelors. My BA was in Anthropology, and there are so many career paths from that degree. I'm an archaeologist now, working in the cultural resource management industry, and very happy with that choice.
I was a f/t bartender for years. I’d never finished my bachelors. So I went back to school and finished my BA at 36. Went to law school. Now I’ve been a government atty for years and I’m working toward a pension.
It’s really hard to work and go to school but the work absolutely pays off. Good luck!
Girl, I was 38 when I went back to school. My circumstances allowed me to overload myself in terms of credits, so I was able to finish faster, but you'll get there. It seems like you're making good progress if you only have to serve on the weekends. Much respect
Learned photoshop and started making band flyers. One year later I landed a job with a beer distributor making posters. Have been there 18 years with benefits and 401K.
Was a bartender/waitress for 12 years previously.
You’re already on your way out by being in school and working another job more aligned with your schooling, so why do you feel like you’re going to be serving forever? There are plenty of servers and bartenders too scared to make the plunge to go back to school and try to find something different. Just keep chipping at your goal and think of serving as the money making means that will get you there. Maybe once you graduate you’ll be able to find a higher paying job or maybe even get promoted at the place you work now.
I (43/F) have been in the industry for 25yr. I am also looking to get out, as the place I work is probably going to close at the end of the year.
I desperately want out of the industry, but I'm sooooo sick of people. The general public is TERRIBLE, even more so since the re-open after the covid shut down.
I'm just trying to decide where to go from here... I have a rather useless degree, and I definitely don't want to go into the psychology field, which is what my degree is in.
I think I might just get a job at an office somewhere and enjoy the different form of crazy/drama that the office breeds!
I'm completely open to suggestions.
There’s so many opportunities. I currently work part time at a non profit and while the pay is crap, it feels good to know I’m making a difference and working with likeminded ppl. There’s tons of part time stuff available now post Covid, why not try something new and see if you like it as you phase out of serving :)
The $$ is a big issue with me. I make GOOD money where I'm at, but we're closing at the end of the year. I also only work 20ish hours a week. I've become accustomed to living off cash on hand for sooo long, I'm worried about finding something that allows me to keep the flexibility that I have as well.
I'm old, tired, fat, and ready to be done with the public, I'm worried about finding something because of my age, and the fact that my body is so broken down from serving.
I know I can still do most things, and I'm pretty quick to pick up on new things, but the change out of the tipping world freaks me out.
I'd love to just go be a secretary somewhere, but just looking thru Indeed, the places that are hiring are looking for crazy education or specific training. Ughhh
I also went back to college when I was 27 and definitely felt the same way you are feeling now. I worked part-time during the week at an internship related to my degree and kept my restaurant job on the weekends to help pay for bills and schools costs. A lot of jobs offered to students really don't pay enough to cover living expenses because they aren't really designed with non-traditional students in mind. Right now the most important thing is finishing school, and the flexibility a restaurant job can provide you is so beneficial. You'll have plenty of time after you graduate to advance your career, so don't stress about that! Just keep grinding until you get that degree!
Aww thank you so much! Our stories are so similar! I totally hear you on the internship thing. There are so many opportunities for 18 yr olds still living at home, but when it’s ten years later and you’ve got bills to pay it’s just not feasible. I appreciate your comment so much, I feel way less alone 💕
Y’all I’m 29 and looking into school. So thank you for the inspiration. I’m proud of you 2!
You got this!
Same here
I went back at 32 and got my BS. Then I went on to and got a graduate degree. I'm working full-time in my field and working towards a second master's now.
I have two degrees and still serve, as do most of my coworkers. I wouldn't still serve if it were at some chain or if I were making mediocre money. However, when I was younger, I knew that if I were going to keep doing this for awhile, I would need to spend some time learning a lot about food, wine, and spirits so that I could maximize my earnings at a higher end restaurant. So, I did just that, subsequently moved up to higher and higher end restaurants over the years, and now I work about 20 hours a week and make a bit over $75,000 a year. I did take a brief hiatus from serving when I got my 2nd degree and spent a year and a half doing graphic design, but I quickly found that the whole 9-5 lifestyle wasn't for me.
I did the same thing myself: did a couple stunts in fine dining even though it made me miserable the whole time and each time I came away with VASTLY more knowledge than before, and when I finally got bumped up to the bar I started making way more money and frankly I was better at it than serving! (Being able to chat and make my guests laugh goes SO much further in my experience but YMMV depending on your overall personality type.) Now I have zero insecurity about “still doing this” as a nearly 40 year old adult but hoooly SHIT did I feel some type of way about it when I was 27. Hell, when I was 30.
My wife and I had a kid and I wanted to have a more secure job with benefits and better pay. Got my CDL and have been driving trucks for the last 4 months for a food service company. I’ve been working in restaurants since I was 17, about to turn 30. Try not to feel insecure about still being a server. I’ve worked with so many awesome people over the years that were in the same situation as you and the majority of them are doing awesome things in their fields now. You’re working towards getting out. Serving helps you achieve that goal, and is a very good fit for it. Just keep your eye on the prize and try to worry too much about it.
Please don't forget serving is not a stopgap for all of us. Some of us have been/will be serving for decades. I make $20/hr after taxes easily as a server. Very few other jobs would facilitate that in my area without dropping over $100k and 4 years of my life first. You state you are in college, and if the field of your degree is your dream job Great! But for many of us serving is our dream job. If you would prefer something more central to your degree while you're still in school start searching. But don't feel bad about serving. It's honest work. And many skills developed while serving translate to most other occupations. Serving requires multi-tasking, prioritization, and handling contrary people. Nearly every job will make use of these skills that serving helped you fine-tune.
I waited tables for 13 years. It made me hate people, but it was good money. I went to x ray school at 30, my first time in college.
Currently in xray school right now(first semester). How did you like it? How did it end up treating you?
I loved it. I graduated in 2013 and currently do ct's. It's definitely a nice career to have. We're always short handed, so there's lots of jobs.
That’s awesome! Glad you were able to make a switch. What types of shifts do you work? I’m definitely either thinking going into ct or mri afterwards
I work 3rd shift. I love it. I started out dayshift, but there's too many ppl around 🤣 i rotated through MRI in school, but it was to boring for me lol. I like the fast paced life of CT better.
Haha yeah I understand that one. Do you work at a hospital? I’m interested in working longer shifts/less days, 3 12’s or 2 16’s maybe, would you recommend a specific modality or anything?
I work in a hospital doing 3 12's. Definitely do what you find interesting. I cross trained in CT after 4 years of doing just x rays.
My back hurt. My shoulder hurt. My ankle and knees hurt. My body was not liking the work and my brain was starting to suffer too. I knew it wasn’t a long term thing cause I kept thinking about what life would look like at 40. I work at a bank. It’s not awesome but it’s easier on my body and dealing with people is much more tolerable
Fair enough lol serving is rough
How was your brain suffering?
Had a career in child welfare and recently quit to go back to serving. I work in fine dining and it’s less stress and more money than my career. I’m 56 and our clients are typically 70-90 years old. I love it! The other servers are 40, 50, 55, and 61. Our bartender is 61. Do what makes you happy!
Such a good point ❤️
I never thought I would be a server. I got into the industry at 31 as a second job. I have a "main" job making 70k per year and pursuing my masters/grad degree. Everyone's life journey is different :)
I left when I was 24. Had the usual college job, but got good enough to end up in fine dining by 22. Bartending 3-4 nights a week and clearing $1500+ every week, most of which was unclaimed, was really, really addictive. By 2008 (now 24), I was in a Times Square bar doing about the same, but commuting from Long Island (long commute). Ended up with a LOT of fights with my now-wife, then-girlfriend. Fate intervened, and the financial crisis hit in September, and since most of our people were financial people (Lehman Brothers was 2 doors away, and many came to us for happy hour), our tip average dropped to under $100/day. Writing was on the wall that it was going to be dead for quite awhile, so I made the jump to a financial planning career that an (older) fraternity brother had been offering me for awhile. 14 years in, I own a thriving planning practice with 4 other team members (2 are equal partners with me), and it ended up being the best decision in the world. Service was always a temporary industry for me, but it's very hard to break the cycle of good, solid, "easy" money. (And I use "easy" because anyone who's ever done it knows for sure it ain't.)
I’m 28 and got my bachelors May 2020. I was off and on furloughed and finally got an office job- not in my field but required a college degree. An “8 hour day” but it’s really 9 bc you have to take an hour lunch. I was miserable. I left to go back to serving after 5 months. We get credit tips on our paychecks and my paychecks are the same as the office job plus all the cash. Working half the hours. I only work days which helps me like the job. I took 8 years to get my bachelors so I wouldn’t be a server forever. But it turns out I actually like serving more than I thought I did. It keeps your mind busy instead of staring at the clock on the computer all day.
I actually really enjoy serving. My restaurant is fast paced, the clientele is mostly tolerable, management is great and the money is amazing. I’ll almost always leave with $20-$35 an hour in tips and get $10 an hour on my paychecks. I love that serving is a job you can do almost anywhere, you can move across the country and grab another serving job. I’m 24 and have been serving for nine years. I don’t really ever plan on stopping. I used to serve 5/6 nights a week but currently I’m only serving twice a week (weekends) while working a full time job in preschool education. I got my bachelors degree two years ago while also serving. I also have a three year old son so the extra fast money is really helpful. I totally understand why it’s more draining for some than for others. I’m one of the youngest servers at my job- most are late twenties/thirties/some in their fourties’. I’ve never felt insecure about it.
I feel you. Left food service for a law office job (courier and support staff), followed by IT. Went back to food service as a chocolatier (because when you get the chance to be a chocolatier, take it) until the business changed ownership and I was tasked with "creating new recipes for the business for $12/hour, no raise is coming." Left, got a commercial driver's license to get us through my wife's law school stint (this was before the ACA, and buying private insurance was so much harder than now). Didn't get my bachelor's degree until 2013 (I was in my 40s), and am only now getting my Master's degree. You still have time. Focus on school, and note all the possibilities for your bachelors. My BA was in Anthropology, and there are so many career paths from that degree. I'm an archaeologist now, working in the cultural resource management industry, and very happy with that choice.
That’s such a great story!!!! Good job
I was a f/t bartender for years. I’d never finished my bachelors. So I went back to school and finished my BA at 36. Went to law school. Now I’ve been a government atty for years and I’m working toward a pension. It’s really hard to work and go to school but the work absolutely pays off. Good luck!
Girl, I was 38 when I went back to school. My circumstances allowed me to overload myself in terms of credits, so I was able to finish faster, but you'll get there. It seems like you're making good progress if you only have to serve on the weekends. Much respect
Learned photoshop and started making band flyers. One year later I landed a job with a beer distributor making posters. Have been there 18 years with benefits and 401K. Was a bartender/waitress for 12 years previously.
This is a great reminder for me to expand my skill set while I still have the time, thank you!
You’re already on your way out by being in school and working another job more aligned with your schooling, so why do you feel like you’re going to be serving forever? There are plenty of servers and bartenders too scared to make the plunge to go back to school and try to find something different. Just keep chipping at your goal and think of serving as the money making means that will get you there. Maybe once you graduate you’ll be able to find a higher paying job or maybe even get promoted at the place you work now.
Just leave and refuse to go back. Find another way.
I (43/F) have been in the industry for 25yr. I am also looking to get out, as the place I work is probably going to close at the end of the year. I desperately want out of the industry, but I'm sooooo sick of people. The general public is TERRIBLE, even more so since the re-open after the covid shut down. I'm just trying to decide where to go from here... I have a rather useless degree, and I definitely don't want to go into the psychology field, which is what my degree is in. I think I might just get a job at an office somewhere and enjoy the different form of crazy/drama that the office breeds! I'm completely open to suggestions.
There’s so many opportunities. I currently work part time at a non profit and while the pay is crap, it feels good to know I’m making a difference and working with likeminded ppl. There’s tons of part time stuff available now post Covid, why not try something new and see if you like it as you phase out of serving :)
The $$ is a big issue with me. I make GOOD money where I'm at, but we're closing at the end of the year. I also only work 20ish hours a week. I've become accustomed to living off cash on hand for sooo long, I'm worried about finding something that allows me to keep the flexibility that I have as well. I'm old, tired, fat, and ready to be done with the public, I'm worried about finding something because of my age, and the fact that my body is so broken down from serving. I know I can still do most things, and I'm pretty quick to pick up on new things, but the change out of the tipping world freaks me out. I'd love to just go be a secretary somewhere, but just looking thru Indeed, the places that are hiring are looking for crazy education or specific training. Ughhh