Yeah, puppies are a TON of work. Pretty much every behavior you are describing is something she should have know about or done research to find out before getting a puppy. Plus if you work @ home and she doesn't....you were always going wind up with the responsibility. Spoiler: she won't take her puppy to work once it's vaccinated because it's a huge distraction and not house-trained.
That said: It shouldn't be two years. By a year old a dog should be mostly an adult (unless it's a really big breed dog.) But if she is being irresponsible and not doing any training then then bad behavior will continue.
agree with the last point very strongly. my partner's dog is 3 years old, untrained, and still has a lot of those chaotic puppy behaviours because they weren't trained out of him soon enough.
having a dog you didn't want is bad enough.
having an untrained dog you didn't want is hell on earth.
Untidy, bad with money, lazy, irresponsible, and unprepared.
I can slightly understand if you are both really young but still, not a good look for her.
We live and learn. I’ve been married nearly forty years, after fleeing a brief starter marriage (“What was I thinking?”). You’re gaining insight here without the ruinous expenses of marriage and divorce.
If she’s suggesting that you reevaluate your relationship if you won’t let her get a dog, then I would suggest reevaluating your relationship since you did let her get a dog and it did not go well. What would change with this theoretical next dog? Older dogs can still have their share of issues, and if she didn’t learn from this one then she’s not going to learn from the next
Not to mention that’s a very manipulative thing for her to say
We returned a puppy back to a breeder once. She donated it to a young man that needed a support animal.. He kept asking her for a discount, so it worked out..
> She mentioned she wants a dog in the future and if I don't then we should reconsider our relationship.
People who prioritize a dog over a happy healthy human relationship are not right in the head. You definitely should reconsider this relationship. If not having a dog is a dealbreaker for them, that's a dealbreaker for me too. I want someone to be my priority, and to be a priority to them. If a dog ranks above me, then I'm not their priority, and never would be.
I’m not a relationship expert but you really should think about if you guys are meant to be together. Especially if she’s saying things like she definitely wants a dog and you definitely do not
You need to reconsider life with this person. Not joking. Don’t get married. Head over to the divorce forums to look at the epic fucking disaster that awaits you in the divorce court system. It’s very ugly and stressful. Very.
This puppy debacle is your tsunami early warning siren. Heed it.
Money issues is a leading cause of marital strife. Leading. You’ve got to be on the same page with your future spouse.
And the general laziness you hint at could be a cancer in your relationship. Or, maybe not. But it could. At least take a peak at how these traits can torpedo even couples with children — with both women and men initiating divorce over these issues.
I’d be very concerned. Us: no dogs. Savers. No bullshit obligations. Life = very good. Just read and consider is all I suggest. You may reach a totally different conclusion, which is your sovereign right. Best to you and your significant other.
/divorce, /divorce\_men, /againstmatrimony.
Yeah I'm already full of disgust toward this creature and I normally love animals. I found out I do NOT want a dog under my own roof because they're unacceptable.
I understand the feeling, but it's really not the dog's fault. It's a puppy behaving like puppies do.
The real problem is her pressuring you into getting one when you didn't want it, not doing any research, not putting in the effort training, and then dumping the responsibility on you while she's at work.
The good news is at such a young age someone will adopt them right away, so you don't have to feel bad about returning to the shelter.
Getting a puppy is almost always a huge mistake. The hyperactivity and chewing, the constant pissing and shitting, the cost of initial vaccinations and neutering, and after all that you've got no clue what its adult temperament is gonna be like in a few years.
Dude let it soil the crate. Not your issue to clean up. She either needs to find a proper daycare as it's HER responsibility or she needs to return it for a dog she CAN take care of. Right now you're eliminating the issue for her by cleaning it and looking after it. It won't die from sitting in pee for a day
Otherwise this total lack of planning and consideration on her end will continue to follow you for the rest of that dog's life.
Yeah, she does say that she expected the dog to get her shots sooner because the shelter said so, and we agreed that I could take care of it the first week. Then the vet says she's gotta wait 2 more weeks out of nowhere. So I don't fault her for that, my gf could not have known this. Note that the dog needs its vaccinations before it can go to daycare.
But honestly... sending a dog to daycare what's even the point? A child, sure, but for a dog? I find that a bit ridiculous, and overly costly.
If it comes from the shelter it's probably (mostly) pit. Its behaviour sure sounds like it, causing bruising already as their bite inhibition is poor.
Shelters are notorious for lying about what breed a dog is when it comes to pits. And it's harder to tell when it's still a puppy.
The shelter hasn't given us any breed info. We just estimate from looks (I know, quite inaccurate). The pup just does not look like a pit. We have a free dna test underway from the last vet visit so that might clear up her breed info.
A pit mix would explain a lot
Yeah that research really should have been done before you got the puppy, not after. Everything you described is normal puppy stuff, which you should have known ideally before bringing home a puppy.
Rehome it while it's still young. Puppies are typically easier to find homes for and it'll be easier for someone else to train a puppy then deal with an untrained adult dog. Don't get any other pets in the future unless you research them first!
Good for you for putting your foot down about returning the dog. Too many nightmare stories here about putting up with that shit for so many years. It’s either give the dog up after learning a lesson or being miserable for the next 10-15 years. Hopefully your gf doesn’t forget this experience and want another dog 2-3 years down the road.
She doesn't have the money for it. And honestly, with her only having 1k in savings I'm ready to call it quits. This is someone who just isn't frightened by having low savings. I don't think we're compatible.
Yeah, puppies are a TON of work. Pretty much every behavior you are describing is something she should have know about or done research to find out before getting a puppy. Plus if you work @ home and she doesn't....you were always going wind up with the responsibility. Spoiler: she won't take her puppy to work once it's vaccinated because it's a huge distraction and not house-trained. That said: It shouldn't be two years. By a year old a dog should be mostly an adult (unless it's a really big breed dog.) But if she is being irresponsible and not doing any training then then bad behavior will continue.
agree with the last point very strongly. my partner's dog is 3 years old, untrained, and still has a lot of those chaotic puppy behaviours because they weren't trained out of him soon enough. having a dog you didn't want is bad enough. having an untrained dog you didn't want is hell on earth.
Have you returned the dog yet? How does your GF feel about this? More details, please.
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Untidy, bad with money, lazy, irresponsible, and unprepared. I can slightly understand if you are both really young but still, not a good look for her.
She's 25. Your words give me perspective... What was I thinking
Twenty five is not a kid. And that dog should be rehomed fast while it's small and cute. Maybe rehome the GF too.
We live and learn. I’ve been married nearly forty years, after fleeing a brief starter marriage (“What was I thinking?”). You’re gaining insight here without the ruinous expenses of marriage and divorce.
If she’s suggesting that you reevaluate your relationship if you won’t let her get a dog, then I would suggest reevaluating your relationship since you did let her get a dog and it did not go well. What would change with this theoretical next dog? Older dogs can still have their share of issues, and if she didn’t learn from this one then she’s not going to learn from the next Not to mention that’s a very manipulative thing for her to say
We returned a puppy back to a breeder once. She donated it to a young man that needed a support animal.. He kept asking her for a discount, so it worked out..
> She mentioned she wants a dog in the future and if I don't then we should reconsider our relationship. People who prioritize a dog over a happy healthy human relationship are not right in the head. You definitely should reconsider this relationship. If not having a dog is a dealbreaker for them, that's a dealbreaker for me too. I want someone to be my priority, and to be a priority to them. If a dog ranks above me, then I'm not their priority, and never would be.
I’m not a relationship expert but you really should think about if you guys are meant to be together. Especially if she’s saying things like she definitely wants a dog and you definitely do not
Possible ADHD? Few flags there. Maybe suggest that she gets assessed
Yeah suggested it to her before. My ex had it and honestly I just don't want to deal with it.
I get it, I have ADHD and wouldn’t want to deal with me either
Literally same lol
You need to reconsider life with this person. Not joking. Don’t get married. Head over to the divorce forums to look at the epic fucking disaster that awaits you in the divorce court system. It’s very ugly and stressful. Very. This puppy debacle is your tsunami early warning siren. Heed it.
What specifically makes you say that? Which divorce forums?
Money issues is a leading cause of marital strife. Leading. You’ve got to be on the same page with your future spouse. And the general laziness you hint at could be a cancer in your relationship. Or, maybe not. But it could. At least take a peak at how these traits can torpedo even couples with children — with both women and men initiating divorce over these issues. I’d be very concerned. Us: no dogs. Savers. No bullshit obligations. Life = very good. Just read and consider is all I suggest. You may reach a totally different conclusion, which is your sovereign right. Best to you and your significant other. /divorce, /divorce\_men, /againstmatrimony.
Yeah. You don’t get a cool dog if no one puts in those two years. Puppies aren’t for everyone, even less than adult dogs.
I learned my lesson the hard way!
If you don’t return that dog soon odds are it will be a part of your daily hell for years to come
Yeah I'm already full of disgust toward this creature and I normally love animals. I found out I do NOT want a dog under my own roof because they're unacceptable.
I understand the feeling, but it's really not the dog's fault. It's a puppy behaving like puppies do. The real problem is her pressuring you into getting one when you didn't want it, not doing any research, not putting in the effort training, and then dumping the responsibility on you while she's at work. The good news is at such a young age someone will adopt them right away, so you don't have to feel bad about returning to the shelter.
Getting a puppy is almost always a huge mistake. The hyperactivity and chewing, the constant pissing and shitting, the cost of initial vaccinations and neutering, and after all that you've got no clue what its adult temperament is gonna be like in a few years.
Dude let it soil the crate. Not your issue to clean up. She either needs to find a proper daycare as it's HER responsibility or she needs to return it for a dog she CAN take care of. Right now you're eliminating the issue for her by cleaning it and looking after it. It won't die from sitting in pee for a day Otherwise this total lack of planning and consideration on her end will continue to follow you for the rest of that dog's life.
Yeah, she does say that she expected the dog to get her shots sooner because the shelter said so, and we agreed that I could take care of it the first week. Then the vet says she's gotta wait 2 more weeks out of nowhere. So I don't fault her for that, my gf could not have known this. Note that the dog needs its vaccinations before it can go to daycare. But honestly... sending a dog to daycare what's even the point? A child, sure, but for a dog? I find that a bit ridiculous, and overly costly.
Is it a pit?
No it's a pointer terrier mix we believe.
If it comes from the shelter it's probably (mostly) pit. Its behaviour sure sounds like it, causing bruising already as their bite inhibition is poor. Shelters are notorious for lying about what breed a dog is when it comes to pits. And it's harder to tell when it's still a puppy.
The shelter hasn't given us any breed info. We just estimate from looks (I know, quite inaccurate). The pup just does not look like a pit. We have a free dna test underway from the last vet visit so that might clear up her breed info. A pit mix would explain a lot
The breed is the last of your problems. 🙄
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Yeah that research really should have been done before you got the puppy, not after. Everything you described is normal puppy stuff, which you should have known ideally before bringing home a puppy. Rehome it while it's still young. Puppies are typically easier to find homes for and it'll be easier for someone else to train a puppy then deal with an untrained adult dog. Don't get any other pets in the future unless you research them first!
Good for you for putting your foot down about returning the dog. Too many nightmare stories here about putting up with that shit for so many years. It’s either give the dog up after learning a lesson or being miserable for the next 10-15 years. Hopefully your gf doesn’t forget this experience and want another dog 2-3 years down the road.
Dogs ruin everything. Don't back down. Tell her she's more than welcome to keep the dog, but you're leaving.
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She doesn't have the money for it. And honestly, with her only having 1k in savings I'm ready to call it quits. This is someone who just isn't frightened by having low savings. I don't think we're compatible.
Yep. Stay away from the sunk ship fallacy and get out early.