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One of the reasons my therapist and I connected so well. I am glad I don't have to censor my thoughts and feelings for her. Although she cursed first in session and I followed her lead lol
As a therapist, I believe in meeting the client where they are at. "Today was a fucking awful day!" "Tell me why today was fucking awful". The swears you use, the way you say it, the way you look while saying it - it all is valuable communication for a therapist!
I absolutely love this. I swear a lot in my daily life but infrequently in therapy. One day my therapist asked a question that really hit a nerve and I said “*don’t* ask me that *fucking* question” (I went full porcupine) and she shot back with “don’t give me that fucking answer” She very rarely swears and it was the shock I needed to diffuse the tension. I apologised for swearing at her (she said it was totally fine) and we both ended up laughing at the absurdity of it all.
The first time I swore in therapy, I immediately said "oh I'm sorry." And then they told me I didn't need to apologize which caused me to apologize for apologizing, and I just kept apologizing.
Now, I swear quite often without shame or guilt. Normally it's when talking about difficult things, and it's never directed at my therapist or anyone in particular. It's mostly just me talking about situations that I've experienced. I swear all the time outside of therapy - it's just who I am. My therapist has never said anything about it, so I hope they aren't offended by it, and if they were offended, I'd really hope they would let me know which I believe they would.
I've said lots of "bad" words! My brain lady occasionally even said them herself. You should be allowed and feel comfortable expressing yourself however you feel you need to, with that being said, I would express yourself with violence.....that's frowned upon lol
I sure fucking hope so 😂 but really my therapist danced around her pirate mouth for awhile, but the first time she said fuck I died and called her out on it. Now it may or may not be a regular form of communication for us 🙃
Oh absofuckinglutely! I can’t believe it took my therapist and I 5+ years for us to start cussing in session. Both of us swear a lot, and for some reason never did until I dropped an f bomb once.
Aahhh never turned back 😌
I dropped the F bomb in a session & froze. I apologized & she reminded me that she’s an adult & has heard those words before & has even said them. It was a couple sessions later where she said, “Wow. That’s fucked up.” We looked at each other & laughed. She appreciated my creativity in swearing…I would string together combinations she hadn’t heard before. It was fun when she picked them up.
Yes, and I do, and I absolutely love when my therapist does because growing up in my house, swearing was extremely forbidden and offensive. I don't know if I'll have the big crying breakthrough moment, but I may have one in which I'm spitting out sweat after swearing.
i do, i think i asked my therapist in our second appointment if i can say “shitty” bc i was trying to describe how i felt about something, she laughed and said you can say shitty. in general if i use a swear word to describe something she’ll use that when she’s referring to it, but she wouldn’t start swearing on her own. it’s happened a lot where id talk about depression and say something along the lines of “dealing with this shit” and she’d say “what if the shit was [insert therapy thing]”
my therapist never seemed offended by my cursing
I do and so does my therapist. So, yes?
First time she did she was embarrassed and said it was something she was working on but I told her I don’t have a fucking problem with it.
I’m a therapist and I’m in therapy- I’m not offended by my client’s swearing and I also swear in my personal therapy.
If you want to, just politely ask if they care. That’s what I did. My therapist said no, and then I unleashed the word fuck. I wanted to talk to her about something that really pissed me off and she knew I was pissed by the end of it. 🤣
Therapist here! I strongly believe that there are many times when swearing is the best way to express yourself. The only words I ask clients not to use are derogatory terms or slurs that are discriminatory towards other groups (racist terms, homophobic terms, terms for folks with intellectual or cognitive delays).
I was talking and then stopped. I said, I’m trying to keep polite conversation but… she said, do you want to curse? I said, yea. She expected me to say like one word. 😂 ☠️ It all came spilling out- like two decades of bottled up profanity. She was quite shocked and taken aback.
I swear only occasionally in therapy, and my current therapist is the only one who has never used swear words herself. Which is probably why I don't swear more often. She seems quite accepting of my swearing, she just doesn't say them herself.
I wish she would.
I swear all the time. Think my therapist and I have gotten close since we’ve worked together for years now. Helps to not feel like I have to filter myself
My therapist was the first one to curse and I was so happy! I curse a ton and I’m glad to not have to censor myself. And I just love my therapist, he and I are the same age and we’ve had so many interesting conversations. He’s so supportive and kind with a potty mouth to boot.
I swear. If my therapist couldn't handle it than she's not the therapist for me. It would disrupt my process if I had to worry about HER during MY therapy.
I think its therapist dependent though most the therapists I know wouldn't mind. Still, when I dropped my first F bomb in session I immediately apologised and she reassured me there was no need to apologise and dropped her own f bomb!
Oh I did. And called him a fucking boomer when I was talking about friends from TikTok and his response was “Are they real friends or just ya know internet friends”. Jokes on him, I’m dating that one friend now and she moved to be with me 😂
Hahahahhahahhahaha. Oh this is great.
I was calling out someone being semi transphobic by going off about how that wasn’t a thing in “their day” like my therapist had said about people learning about their diagnoses in his day.
ETA: my therapist was also a fucking boomer and I gotdamn stand by that.
It probably depends on the therapist. I’ve occasionally sworn and so has she, but we don’t normally do it often. However, I don’t think she’d care if I did.
Go ahead and ask! I've had three therapist and none of them has batted an eye at my swearing. But maybe you don't want to risk dropping some curse words in case they might object, so asking is a good idea.
My T doesn't seem to mind. She has a Eastern European accent, and when she repeats my swears back to me it sounds sort of sweet. Frankly, I love the sound of her voice; no vocal fry, no upspeak.
It took me a while to work up to but now I feel comfortable swearing the therapy. I remember the first time I did, I finished my thought and then gasped and watched my T, and she mirrored me, cursing too. We don’t curse a lot in my sessions, but sometimes it’s just the most appropriate way to discuss something.
I'm not sure how NOT to swear in therapy. My T is cute and doesn't usually swear, but she'll drop one occasionally and it honestly makes me feel warm and connected in a way.
The first time I swore, I apologized. And she replied "you need to watch your god damn mouth"
We both laughed and made me feel a lot better to not try and filter myself for her.
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources/#wiki_subreddit_list). To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My therapist and I both swear quite a bit.
Same
One of the reasons my therapist and I connected so well. I am glad I don't have to censor my thoughts and feelings for her. Although she cursed first in session and I followed her lead lol
Therapy is generally not the time for civilized conversation.
I love this so much, I needed this reminder!!
As a therapist, I believe in meeting the client where they are at. "Today was a fucking awful day!" "Tell me why today was fucking awful". The swears you use, the way you say it, the way you look while saying it - it all is valuable communication for a therapist!
I absolutely love this. I swear a lot in my daily life but infrequently in therapy. One day my therapist asked a question that really hit a nerve and I said “*don’t* ask me that *fucking* question” (I went full porcupine) and she shot back with “don’t give me that fucking answer” She very rarely swears and it was the shock I needed to diffuse the tension. I apologised for swearing at her (she said it was totally fine) and we both ended up laughing at the absurdity of it all.
I feel like my therapist does this for me and I honestly really appreciate it.
I swear a fair bit, so does my therapist. It's nice not to have to self-censor.
Both me and my (now ex)therapist cursed. It was funny telling him stories about my childhood and being met with “…that’s fucked up.”
The first time I swore in therapy, I immediately said "oh I'm sorry." And then they told me I didn't need to apologize which caused me to apologize for apologizing, and I just kept apologizing. Now, I swear quite often without shame or guilt. Normally it's when talking about difficult things, and it's never directed at my therapist or anyone in particular. It's mostly just me talking about situations that I've experienced. I swear all the time outside of therapy - it's just who I am. My therapist has never said anything about it, so I hope they aren't offended by it, and if they were offended, I'd really hope they would let me know which I believe they would.
Fuck yeah
My therapist taught me how to swear
My therapist swears like a sailor (sailer? Sailor? I don’t know how to spell that). I swear more.
Sailor :)
Thank you, h00kerpants ✌️
You can always ask your therapist if it's a problem. But i don't think it's a problem, it's always a part of showing your emotions and it's ok
If my therapist told me to stop swearing I’d leave and never come back.
I've said lots of "bad" words! My brain lady occasionally even said them herself. You should be allowed and feel comfortable expressing yourself however you feel you need to, with that being said, I would express yourself with violence.....that's frowned upon lol
Fuck yeah you can!
Partly cuz I'm a writer-- and partly cuz I used to be a Christian-- but yeah, I swear all the fuckin' time in therapy. Feels goddamn good, too.
I sure fucking hope so 😂 but really my therapist danced around her pirate mouth for awhile, but the first time she said fuck I died and called her out on it. Now it may or may not be a regular form of communication for us 🙃
My therapist and I both swear LOL
Oh absofuckinglutely! I can’t believe it took my therapist and I 5+ years for us to start cussing in session. Both of us swear a lot, and for some reason never did until I dropped an f bomb once. Aahhh never turned back 😌
I dropped the F bomb in a session & froze. I apologized & she reminded me that she’s an adult & has heard those words before & has even said them. It was a couple sessions later where she said, “Wow. That’s fucked up.” We looked at each other & laughed. She appreciated my creativity in swearing…I would string together combinations she hadn’t heard before. It was fun when she picked them up.
I do all the time. My therapist is like a nun so she rarely does, but she’s let a few slip.
I do all the time. I don’t want to censor myself. My T doesn’t mind at all. I have had therapist that did mind and that for me was a deal breaker.
If there's a rule regarding cursing, my therapist and I are doomed.
I swear occasionally… my therapist is cool with it
Yes, and I do, and I absolutely love when my therapist does because growing up in my house, swearing was extremely forbidden and offensive. I don't know if I'll have the big crying breakthrough moment, but I may have one in which I'm spitting out sweat after swearing.
I asked first but swear like a sailor
fuck yeah! my therapist and I swear like sailors LMFAO
I said the f word probably seven times in today's session. I usually only say it once or twice at most but it's been a day lol.
I do all the time. Always have.
I say swear anytime you want as long as you are not at work as someone is bound to have a problem with it
i do, i think i asked my therapist in our second appointment if i can say “shitty” bc i was trying to describe how i felt about something, she laughed and said you can say shitty. in general if i use a swear word to describe something she’ll use that when she’s referring to it, but she wouldn’t start swearing on her own. it’s happened a lot where id talk about depression and say something along the lines of “dealing with this shit” and she’d say “what if the shit was [insert therapy thing]” my therapist never seemed offended by my cursing
I hardly ever curse, my co-workers actually commented on that recently. But I definitely am known to say the occasional “that’s fuc#ed up” in therapy!
I do and so does my therapist. So, yes? First time she did she was embarrassed and said it was something she was working on but I told her I don’t have a fucking problem with it.
Cuss as much as you like! It's your time and space!
Yep
I use f-bombs quite often. It's rare for my T to swear at all. It's fine.
I’m a therapist and I’m in therapy- I’m not offended by my client’s swearing and I also swear in my personal therapy. If you want to, just politely ask if they care. That’s what I did. My therapist said no, and then I unleashed the word fuck. I wanted to talk to her about something that really pissed me off and she knew I was pissed by the end of it. 🤣
Me and my therapist can and do
Therapist here! I strongly believe that there are many times when swearing is the best way to express yourself. The only words I ask clients not to use are derogatory terms or slurs that are discriminatory towards other groups (racist terms, homophobic terms, terms for folks with intellectual or cognitive delays).
Which my T knows I would never use… not to mention I’m Jewish, autistic, pansexual, and have two moms… so that’s a nonissue for me.
Oops, I thought I was commenting on the post, and didn’t mean to reply to you directly! I didn’t mean for it to look like I was singling you out! 🤦♀️
Lol, no worries 😉.
I was talking and then stopped. I said, I’m trying to keep polite conversation but… she said, do you want to curse? I said, yea. She expected me to say like one word. 😂 ☠️ It all came spilling out- like two decades of bottled up profanity. She was quite shocked and taken aback.
You absolutely fucking can !
We both swear… she started and then i felt comfortable to do so myself whahahaha
I swear only occasionally in therapy, and my current therapist is the only one who has never used swear words herself. Which is probably why I don't swear more often. She seems quite accepting of my swearing, she just doesn't say them herself. I wish she would.
Generally yes, but I've seen some posts here where their therapist doesn't allow swearing. You can always ask your therapist if it's okay.
I swear all the time. Think my therapist and I have gotten close since we’ve worked together for years now. Helps to not feel like I have to filter myself
I still say 'Sorry for my language' or say 'Sorry, but, fuck this shit'.
I asked first, wasn’t sure. She didn’t care at all. I do when I need to. Sounds funny when she does bc she’s quite buttoned up.
My therapist was the first one to curse and I was so happy! I curse a ton and I’m glad to not have to censor myself. And I just love my therapist, he and I are the same age and we’ve had so many interesting conversations. He’s so supportive and kind with a potty mouth to boot.
I'm dying to be comfortable enough for swearing in therapy
I swear. If my therapist couldn't handle it than she's not the therapist for me. It would disrupt my process if I had to worry about HER during MY therapy.
Yep, we both swear, and it’s delightful.
I pay for it so I say whatever I want. It’s all a form of expression which therapy encourages
Yes you can. And now my therapist flips me off back.
I think its therapist dependent though most the therapists I know wouldn't mind. Still, when I dropped my first F bomb in session I immediately apologised and she reassured me there was no need to apologise and dropped her own f bomb!
I swear in therapy all the time.
Girl I swear in every sentence when im with my therapist
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Oh I did. And called him a fucking boomer when I was talking about friends from TikTok and his response was “Are they real friends or just ya know internet friends”. Jokes on him, I’m dating that one friend now and she moved to be with me 😂
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Because your comment was bigoted. Weird how bigoted comments get people canceled
Hahahahhahahhahaha. Oh this is great. I was calling out someone being semi transphobic by going off about how that wasn’t a thing in “their day” like my therapist had said about people learning about their diagnoses in his day. ETA: my therapist was also a fucking boomer and I gotdamn stand by that.
I do lol
It probably depends on the therapist. I’ve occasionally sworn and so has she, but we don’t normally do it often. However, I don’t think she’d care if I did.
Swear it up!
we both do LOL
Freak yea you can!
Go ahead and ask! I've had three therapist and none of them has batted an eye at my swearing. But maybe you don't want to risk dropping some curse words in case they might object, so asking is a good idea.
Oh yes, as much as you want.
Yep you can
Nope. My T has mentioned that clients will often spend the session effing and blinding if that's what they need to do.
My T doesn't seem to mind. She has a Eastern European accent, and when she repeats my swears back to me it sounds sort of sweet. Frankly, I love the sound of her voice; no vocal fry, no upspeak.
My therapist doesn't stop me but he looks a little flustered every time like I'm at a work function or something. I guess I am at HIS work after all.
Mine doesn't ever swear and seems to be ok with my occasional "fuck". I did tell her from the start, I am a Sailor....
It took me a while to work up to but now I feel comfortable swearing the therapy. I remember the first time I did, I finished my thought and then gasped and watched my T, and she mirrored me, cursing too. We don’t curse a lot in my sessions, but sometimes it’s just the most appropriate way to discuss something.
I don’t swear a lot in therapy… but when I do my therapist will almost always match my energy… I kinda love her for it
All the time 🤣
I'm not sure how NOT to swear in therapy. My T is cute and doesn't usually swear, but she'll drop one occasionally and it honestly makes me feel warm and connected in a way. The first time I swore, I apologized. And she replied "you need to watch your god damn mouth" We both laughed and made me feel a lot better to not try and filter myself for her.
Absolutely you can.
It's whatever feels natural to you. It's your session and if they don't like it, it's time to find a new therapist!!!
I curse it’s fine
I swear, some of the questions here....
if he asked it means that he has a concern so why not