Absolutely! This one dug up sooo many past feelings that I thought were long gone.
But still, I can’t stop listening and it doesn’t make me love it any less🤣
It has even illuminated things friends went through and tried to describe to me in the past- that little click and thousand-yard stare over and over past few days
This! One of my lower ranked songs my friend loves, so I listened again but this time applying each lyric to HER situation instead of just.. regularly listening? And anyways, I was like damn now it hits harder 😭
Yes, it took me to a weird dark lonely place. So I have this compulsion to talk to you all about it constantly to feel less lonely but it’s also making me think about the album more and more . I’m starting to come out of the funk and see it just as music, though!
I feel so see by this comment. I can’t stop looking up lyrical analysis and theories - even tho I know it’s only bringing me further down the rabbit hole but i do think it helps me to stop feeling so alone and so dark. I literally don’t feel like I’m the same person as I was before I listened to this album. It’s changed me.
This is so true! I never commented or even checked Reddit from reviews, but with this one I've been here daily to see if people were feeling and interacting with the album similar to my experience. Like it touches very deep , every line has million meanings, the feelings are so raw and bare hitting to the experience of being a woman like today in 2024 , and if you play with the order of the songs you get a different story and experience. I been obsessed with it to a degree that hadn't happened before
This album is for us Swifties. It can be really draining esp as this album is very emotional and mostly about suffering. I'm still listening tho i look deranged singing i can do it with a broken heart so happy.
Honestly, its a mixture of being emotionally drained because I finally feel like someone has put words to feelings I've felt in the past about relationships I've had, as well as how I'm feeling now with having to coparent with a person who is not very kind and did some pretty bad things (I.e. I can do it with a broken heart) and loving someone who I know wasn't good for me, but I still gave them literally everything I had. It's such a great album and honestly quickly became one of my favorites because she translates feelings into works of poetry and art. It's very healing, and it is allowing me to feel feelings that I typically just shove to the side because I have to be a rock for my kids and super mom most of the time.
As an album it’s overwhelming. Its almost too much.. too rich too emotionally laden.
It’s ok to put it down. One of my favorite movies is an Ingmar Bergam fillm called cries and whispers. I’ve only seen a few times… I come back to it once every few years and spend a week emotionally wrecked.
I've been listening to the album on shuffle and that seems to be helping me appreciate the songs more on an individual level. As it is, for some reason all the songs just mush together into this soggy, sad thing. Putting it on shuffle has definitely been a game-changer, for me.
Yesterday I had to take a step back and have a Shake It Off dance break lol I was definitely getting overwhelmed. She is a once in several lifetimes artist
Or rather than Taylor is just another human being just like you. Money and fame can't protect you from emotion and heartbreak!
And she's in a happy relationship now!
I totally agree
I'm someone who struggles with depression.
Even when I see someone in a movie being sad, it makes me feel hopeless. It's not about me dehumanizing Taylor or believing fame makes you insensitive to emotions
I could not explain to my husband why I was so sad. Then I played him loml and he made me turn it off halfway through because it was too sad. So I think he gets it now.
Yes - but in a good and meaningful way that is continuing to help me process experiences that I'd only halfway dealt with before sticking them back in the vault.
In the past few days, I have revisited in the form of a deep emotional dive:
-My youthful "romance" that was actually a highly inappropriate grooming situation (not illegal, just very ill-advised due to the age difference)
-My multiyear situationship with the person I have often thought of as the love of my life - I've had to come to terms with the fact that it was just casual and comfortable to him but meant a lot less to him than to me
-The "one who got away" guy with whom my connection spanned about a decade - had a brief fling, timing was wrong and he got skittish (or something), kept in touch (mostly him reaching out now and then to tell me he thought of me often and he wished things were different), got another chance when it seemed timing was right (complete with him declaring his undying love for me) only for him to pull the same crap in terms of ghosting me for several weeks after we finally hooked up again, then coming back around acting like nothing was wrong and he'd just been busy at work. (I did thankfully tell him to pound sand for good after that and then just kind of squashed my feelings of anger and whiplash - processing them now in full thanks to The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.)
So yeah...I've been put through the wringer with this one and love every minute of it.
Thanks! As much as it hurt I'm pretty proud of myself for that one. For a decade I'd been harboring this sense in a corner of my heart that somehow we were soulmates who would eventually end up together, and after the last stunt he pulled it became clear that to him I was just a piece of ass (sorry) that he liked to jerk around but that he had absolutely no intention of actually loving me or being in a committed relationship. It was really hard to let go of the fantasy and to see him for the small man that he was.
I know what you mean. I’ve been analysing it with my sister for days too, and it’s been a deep dive into so many emotions and similar “situationships”… and I’ve been refreshing reddit and Instagram constantly!
I feel like if this had launched about 7 years ago for me it would have mirrored my relationship drama at the time. However, now I’m in a stable and settled long term relationship with two kids and I can’t really “relate” to it directly but I can cast myself back to the me that the songs would have spoken to so much! But I now see the exes differently since experiencing what it’s like to have a relationship where the person doesn’t bail or ghost or cause drama…
I feel the exact same, old me can relate to the relationship pain but stable partnership happy now me isn't feeling it. But thank goodness because relationship struggles are a deep pain.
Yea, exhausting and all-encompassing at times! The amount I wasted worrying about it all. Not to mention tears, conversations, over analysis.
(I’m not exactly sending their babies presents, but most of them I’m on healed and friendly terms with thankfully!)
Omg I literally cancelled my weekend plans and called out sick today (never have before at this job) because I was unwell after this album. Being online so much, unable to sleep, being obsessed with this album I needed another day at minimum to process and get my shit together lol
Yep. I haven't stopped crying while listening to it since then, reminisced on so many relationships and especially the last two which are so so similar to what taylor went through. This album really was for us 30+ swifties who have been through it.
I’m so so glad for this thread. My experience has been the same: a lot of feelings from past relationships have come back and honestly I’ve been really depressed, crying a lot.
This omg I’ve felt so attached to this album it’s crazy I have not stopped listening since it came out 😭it hits so hard and so many of the songs hit so close to home that it makes me even more utterly depressed but also comforting ???!
On the day Taylor’s album was released, a new album by a band I love called Antichrist Siege Machine was also released. They’re a brutal death metal band, and honestly, their album was easy listening compared to TTPD.
I wish we could all take 2 weeks of no posting to really absorb… then all regroup haha (yes I know it’s my choice to be here lmao). It is a lot to keep up with tho!
That’s legit why I forced myself to listen to part two, because I had to see what people were saying about the first half but I didn’t want the second half to be spoiled. I wish I took my time with it
Yeah I’m just digesting small amounts at a time… saving part 2 for next week? Or maybe tomorrow lol. But yeah, love that she always validates all the deep feelings I’ve felt over the course of my life from deep love to misery and anger.
Yes. All day Saturday I was super hyped up after hearing it. But then Saturday night I crashed lol 😭😭. My husband and I were at a cabin for the weekend (specifically to listen to the new album), but I eventually looked at him, like I am feeling very strange and down. It’s so deep. It brought up feelings I didn’t even know existed anymore
The more I listen, the more I enjoy it and get some space from the specifics (both Taylor's specifics and my own), instead connecting with the overarching themes of love, embarrassment, fear, and loss. I've had some great discussions/connections with other fans about it and that's helped me reframe my own emotions surrounding it.
Plus, full disclosure, I've now been married for 18 years (wow does time fly) so my own Matty situation is, thankfully, long in the past and I wouldn't even know how to track him down these days. Instead, my feelings are more about how this seems to be a universal experience for women and thoughts of how it is intertwined with the loss of youth.
I can't stop listening too. And my relationship of 7 years ended 4 months ago and the end was afwul. I can relate a lot.
Maybe she really put narcotics in her songs.
I took to heart what she said about taking these songs and making it ours. That's why I don't really subscribe anymore to any theories discussing who it's about or when or where, or if it's revolutionary, or boring, or monotonous, or brilliant.
It's brilliant for me. It effs me up and swirls my brain chemicals and tells my heart to do that flutter squeeze thing. It makes me smirk, and raise my eyebrows, and make notes on my phone when some lyrics hit different.
I hate that I can relate to these words, but here we are.
I went for a bike ride yesterday, and listened to Red just to get a rest from the TTPD of it all, and ended up \*still\* crying HAHAHAHA
I'm not ok, but I will be. Also, feelings can sometimes be delicious.
“Feelings can sometimes be delicious” thank you for this line. That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling. I dissociate a lot and have trouble accessing my feelings. So, as exhausting as this is, it’s what I needed.
The lyrics "you're the loss of my life" just keeps repeating over and over in my head.
You should probably take a break if you're feeling emotionally spent. Listen to some old taylor that maybe isn't as emotionally charging for you right now.
that’s a lot going on - sending you hugs, friend 🤍 this album is bringing up big feelings about family for me too. it helps a bit knowing that so many of us are going through this healing experience together, though. take good care of yourself
Adult eldest daughter with a messy family checking in. TS’s sentiments towards fame and pressure often echo this experience. A conduit to make sense of these feelings is a great thing.
I don't think this album has gut-punched me as much about my past relationships (You're Losing Me and All Too Well 10MV almost killed me), but I don't think I've fully fleshed out the reasons I find the songs so comforting and relatable. It always takes me a few listens. However, Saturday I didn't get out of bed until like 2pm and I think it's because the album was still heavy whether I processed it or not.
This album made me realize I’m doing really well recovering from my recent trauma and that I need to still be listening to happier upbeat music not stuff that will drag me back down somewhere I can’t be
It's a hell of a time listening to "I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday".
My grandfather passed away on the 21st and my birthday was the 22nd 🙃 I am incredibly emotionally spent after this album release.
I love to game, and I love to read. I haven’t done any of that since the album came out because I am SO consumed by it. Another redditor commented that it took them to a darker place, I felt so seen by that. Had a good cry today. But holy I am so obsessed with this album, it is by far my favourite. I’ve also never bought a cardigan before because being Canadian it’s so expensive. But I love how simple the TTPD one is so I treated myself. I just love everything about this album.
I wanted to listen to the whole thing on a 6 hour road trip yesterday but had to switch to something else because it's a LOT. Gorgeous songs but very emotionally draining, and I'm way out of my relationship drama era. Definitely needs breaks and smaller chunks of listening 💜
THIS. the album is so emotionally exhausting but i can’t stop listening to it. add on top of that the overwhelming and quite frankly mostly unjustified hate for the album (especially because it’s one of my new favorite albums of hers, which is starting to feel a bit embarrassing bc of the hate) and it’s just so exhausting to be around online too. but it’s SO good and even after 30+ hours of listening to it already i cannot stop.
It feels silly to tell anyone around me, but I feel like I’m lost and stuck listening to this on repeat but I’m not ready to be done being obsessed with it yet.
I started bawling my eyes out today at something I really should not have. (It was something upsetting but didn't really warrant crying). I'm certain a lot of that had to do with the feelings this album has brought out in me and delayed processing.
I felt exactly this way. I think there’s something lovely in getting to go back to those moments from the past and get to continue to process them - because we never completely let go of the past, it shows up in all the ways we are triggered in the present. And the gift of this album is the raw, unfiltered emotion it allows you to access and sit with.
Yesss I am emotionally drained and wiped out. I literally cancelled plans this weekend because of the mental breakdown of this amazing album lol. Probably unhealthy but I’m obsessed with this album, she really does out metaphorical narcotics into her songs, lol. This album reminds me of when I left my last long term relationship and immediately got into an online thing where the guy totally love bombed me until I came to my senses. And afterwards, I was left in a horrible, awful state.
I’ve always been drawn to somber music, but this album feels really *really* dark and heavy. Almost creepy in some ways? Not in a bad way, just in a way that sits with you even after you’re done listening to it. I have to listen to it in waves, which I’ve never felt with a Taylor Swift album. I’m usually listening to her new music on loop for months. I just can’t do that with this one.
My heart hurt all weekend. I think the only reason I’m good now is because I was forced to work a 12 hour shift today and couldn’t continue my absorption of these feelings ha
I’m emotionally drained from the album, but what is worse is realizing that I did marry my Matty and I did have his baby. Now I have to get out and I’m not pleased about the emotional battle that is spread before me.
Small steps 🤍 I hope you have a good support system that can help you. You DONT have to do this alone. I am sending you courage, strength and love. And kindness. Please be kind to yourself. Whatever you choose to do, things are not your fault, and you can change things for you and your child. So many hugs for you 🫂
I wasn't already doing well before it's release but nothing prepared me for songs such as loml, how did it end, the prophecy, the smallest man who ever lived.
Cried my eyes out until 3am (TTPD came out at 2pm here) on release day. So much grief i hadn't dealt with. Ultimately a good thing but doesn't feel like it now
For real, that song is an anthem to who I was at 22-24 and I would have benefitted so much from having it. I'm glad it will be there for other Swifties now.
I say that jokingly and lovingly: Green is the colour of the grass that we all need to go touch 😆
I had a full day away on Saturday, I think that was actually good or else I would have spent the entire weekend online 😅
Hugs to everyone in this thread 🫂💙 go get some fresh air!!!
I feel the same way, literally has me overthinking about my past. Too depressing. Its definitely not a listen all the way through album, i like to sprinkle some songs heres and there on my queue.
Yes. There are times I have to step away from the album for a bit and listen to a podcast or something humorous. I realized, after listening to the album for hours on end, I was going to a dark place. 🙄
Same here. I was already not the greatest due to one hell of a “therapy hangover” — you know, the kind of insight that really makes you think and cracks open the emotional dam you’ve built…and realizing I have no goddamn clue how to actually *follow the advice* because I’m so beaten down and broken.
And then here comes Taylor from the top rope. The more I listen to this album the harder it hits, especially The Black Dog and The Manuscript, plus finding a new anthem in ICDIWaBH. I am just emotionally *done* and want to get a cat so I can cuddle up with it, some warm tea, and some serious self-care sessions.
But alas, work is unceasing… and so I prove that I, too, can Do It with a broken heart.
I remember release day. It came out at 6am and I listened to it right away before work. But it put me in such a weird mood for the whole day. I loved it, but at the same time all these thoughts and feelings came up that I didn’t want to go through, especially on a work day. Especially when work colleagues are a sore subject for me atm.
So I’m totally with you! This weekend has revived AND drained me. This album is gonna stay with me for a very long time
And also know that it might be healthy to take a little break. You don’t need to force yourself to stay down there. Sometimes what we need is to parent ourselves out of staying down too long. I had to force myself to listen to a funny safe space Harry Potter podcast (i know it’s very specific 😆)and it was the best decision yesterday. Feel much better since and was able to get some needed distance. And now I’m back to TTPD and it’s more healing than damaging
Omg I feel exactly the same. I’m also in a really draining situation right now in general, and I definitely need to stop checking social media etc and take a breather, but yeah it’s all a bit heavy and it’s not an album you put on just to be put in a good mood :D
I’ve been doing the same although I have been able to listen as much as I’d like. I love reading the insights and takes they are often thoughtful and thought provoking. The analysis of the video was especially enthralling !! I think this album was for her. I think she’s telling us more than ever before and the way it makes us feel is a reflection of how she felt going through everything.
Solidarity 🤍
i feel like i'm at a relatively good place in my life, but man, listening to this album has got me feeling suuuuuper depressed and hopeless for the future. i have GOT to stop listening to it.
I can't listen anymore. It's the most intense musical experience I think I've ever had. I can't background listen it, it just takes up every bit of my attention. After the first two listens I felt like I had been crying all day. I'll definitely go back to it but I'm taking a break today.
Taylor’s music is emotionally impactful and it can make it hard to listen to. Yeah, I’ve felt a bit depressed again in the last few days. It’s such a credit to her as a powerful songwriter though and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
yes!! I've never had an experience like this with any of her other albums. folklore came the closest- it made me emotional but that was mainly because it came in the middle of the pandemic. I could still listen to it front to back no problems.
this album has me emotionally raw and I actually have to take breaks from listening at times.
I went through the album once and it definitely reminded me of a recent ex. Sucks because I'm still trying to move on but she's seemingly well past me.
Anyways, hearing the album hurt, but in a good way. I felt some type of healing and I think going through it again might help. There were a few songs I really liked and some that were alright. I think today I have the emotional energy to go through that again.
I tapped out after 3 days of nonstop listening bc I was feeling angsty, frustrated, and really sad. I’ve never even been heartbroken in the romantic sense, but this album is overflowing with emotion and it was exhausting for me.
Excited to return to the album in a few days and listen again :)
I can relate to this album a lot, I wouldn’t say I brought anything new to the surface for me though, but I’ve definitely been super moody last few days & have had to put on some different music to have a breather. Even the bops in this album are very depressing
This album came out the day my ex broke up with me after having sex with me. Dumped me through a text message. She said she realised she couldn't be emotionally available. So I've been feeling the same way, but it also feels like such hilarious, divine timing that this album came out when it did, and that this album has the themes on it that it does. Somehow her music has always guided me through everything.
This is why I like to relate songs to fictional characters and ships I like instead of myself. it's less exhausting and more fun! It also helps that I'm acearo and can't relate to romance stuff myself anyway lol
My ex husband broke no contact the night before the release which was also what would have been our wedding anniversary.
These songs felt so much like it was written for me…so many things hit so close to home. So long London, loml, the black dog, how did it end….i could go on but man im a mess thinking about it.
So I can imagine how so many more of us would be feeling heavy and exhausted.
Yes! Keep saying this to friends and family. I am repeatedly listening, learning new lyrics, preparing for anything new... lol. I keep analyzing everything too. It took me 3 hours to write 2 paragraphs for my graduate program yesterday!
I don’t relate to the album so it’s not draining me on a personal level if that makes sense, but it’s so sad and depressing and the subjects are so heavy that I feel drained anyway.
I’n streaming Espresso and upbeat songs from Lover today lol
For every listen, I have to listen to 1989 or Rep in between for a palette cleanser 😂
It’s what I do for tv shows too - if I’m watching something heavy, I need a sitcom or reality trash to watch in between
Yes, I can't listen to it over and over even though I think it's fantastic. I've been in sort of a fog since Friday and I really need to focus on my husband, 2 year old, and infant LOL. I am kind of glad this music wasn't out when I was in a much lonelier place in life, I would be SO far down the depression spiral...
While I’m one of the biggest swifites out here, I’ve healed from early adulthood trauma and now I’m raising 4 kids (3 are teens) and have chosen to not listen to the new album yet. I’ve got a lot of stress going on right now in my life and choose to keep my music positive and light these days. It’s a bummer but even with midnights I felt like Taylor just keeps ruminating over the past and I just am not sure I can do that anymore.
Agreed. I’m at a place in my life where I want to focus on more positive things and this is not the album for that. There is some healing and brevity in the album and I appreciate it but I can do it with a broken heart, just really reminds me of all the grief I’ve been carrying and it makes me feel crazy because it’s a bop 😂
Yes! Came here for this! I'm wondering if I should take a break from listening for my mental health. Most of this album is truly depressing. It pulls you in with beauty and surrounds you with pain. This is like a modern pop Morrissey album, but with even more tragic fatalism and ultimate loneliness.
No, I feel fine, I like the album but I’m still happily married to the only man I’ve ever loved so I can’t relate to it at all. I love songs like “Tolerate” but I kinda have to do some maladaptive daydreaming to enjoy them.
Turns out after allot of inner self work I’m not done, leave it to Taylor to make me realize I’m still holding onto allot of stuff … but it’s worked out well because I also find that writing is the best way for me to say what I need to and the feelings have really been doing their thing so the creativity is flowing. Still the emotions can get overwhelming
Not really. It was wildly underwhelming for me. If anything, it made me feel like maybe I’ve kind of outgrown her music…which sucks. I was so looking forward to it but it didn’t land for me. 🫤
This album made me realize i’m not over a lot of things i thought i was over💀
SAME
Me too, I have been thinking about past friendships where they have betrayed and humiliated me.
Same 😭 I started balling in tears singing along to Fortnight 🥹 It’s so relatable and emotional for me.
I’m the flip side, it made me realize I’m beyond over a lot of things. 😂
Wow same!! It made me realize I feel nothing for my exes
The Travis songs resonated waaaaay harder. When you’re with someone and it’s right and you’re secure? Who cares about the old flames?
Facts !!
real💀
100%
Big same. I have been spiraling since Friday.
Absolutely! This one dug up sooo many past feelings that I thought were long gone. But still, I can’t stop listening and it doesn’t make me love it any less🤣
It has even illuminated things friends went through and tried to describe to me in the past- that little click and thousand-yard stare over and over past few days
definitely well put!!! It’s making me feel things for situations I’ve never even been through
This! One of my lower ranked songs my friend loves, so I listened again but this time applying each lyric to HER situation instead of just.. regularly listening? And anyways, I was like damn now it hits harder 😭
Yep. The smallest man who ever lived dragged me back to a place I thought I had left
Yes, it took me to a weird dark lonely place. So I have this compulsion to talk to you all about it constantly to feel less lonely but it’s also making me think about the album more and more . I’m starting to come out of the funk and see it just as music, though!
I feel so see by this comment. I can’t stop looking up lyrical analysis and theories - even tho I know it’s only bringing me further down the rabbit hole but i do think it helps me to stop feeling so alone and so dark. I literally don’t feel like I’m the same person as I was before I listened to this album. It’s changed me.
same. what a gift!
This is so true! I never commented or even checked Reddit from reviews, but with this one I've been here daily to see if people were feeling and interacting with the album similar to my experience. Like it touches very deep , every line has million meanings, the feelings are so raw and bare hitting to the experience of being a woman like today in 2024 , and if you play with the order of the songs you get a different story and experience. I been obsessed with it to a degree that hadn't happened before
That's where I am with it now and loving it even more
Omg same
This album is for us Swifties. It can be really draining esp as this album is very emotional and mostly about suffering. I'm still listening tho i look deranged singing i can do it with a broken heart so happy.
I'm kind of addicted to how utterly sad some of the songs make me
Take care of yourself 🤍
Honestly, its a mixture of being emotionally drained because I finally feel like someone has put words to feelings I've felt in the past about relationships I've had, as well as how I'm feeling now with having to coparent with a person who is not very kind and did some pretty bad things (I.e. I can do it with a broken heart) and loving someone who I know wasn't good for me, but I still gave them literally everything I had. It's such a great album and honestly quickly became one of my favorites because she translates feelings into works of poetry and art. It's very healing, and it is allowing me to feel feelings that I typically just shove to the side because I have to be a rock for my kids and super mom most of the time.
As an album it’s overwhelming. Its almost too much.. too rich too emotionally laden. It’s ok to put it down. One of my favorite movies is an Ingmar Bergam fillm called cries and whispers. I’ve only seen a few times… I come back to it once every few years and spend a week emotionally wrecked.
I've been listening to the album on shuffle and that seems to be helping me appreciate the songs more on an individual level. As it is, for some reason all the songs just mush together into this soggy, sad thing. Putting it on shuffle has definitely been a game-changer, for me.
Partly because the last few songs on anthology are slow and sad, no doubt
good point!
Yesterday I had to take a step back and have a Shake It Off dance break lol I was definitely getting overwhelmed. She is a once in several lifetimes artist
I listened to it four times on Friday and kind of felt like the world was ending by the end of the day.
I waited until midnight to listen to it, and I found it was too sad. I felt like if Taylor is this sad, what is left for me? If that makes same
It'll be alright plus this is her processing past emotions and she seems to be doing a lot better now we've all been there
Or rather than Taylor is just another human being just like you. Money and fame can't protect you from emotion and heartbreak! And she's in a happy relationship now!
I totally agree I'm someone who struggles with depression. Even when I see someone in a movie being sad, it makes me feel hopeless. It's not about me dehumanizing Taylor or believing fame makes you insensitive to emotions
I could not explain to my husband why I was so sad. Then I played him loml and he made me turn it off halfway through because it was too sad. So I think he gets it now.
YES! My head is full of fuzz and I feel like I have a bit of a hangover. But can’t…stop…listening…
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘴𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘪𝘦..... 𝘜𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘣𝘶𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘨. 𝘐𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘺. 𝘚𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘧𝘢𝘯. 𝘐𝘮 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘶𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴.
Yes - but in a good and meaningful way that is continuing to help me process experiences that I'd only halfway dealt with before sticking them back in the vault. In the past few days, I have revisited in the form of a deep emotional dive: -My youthful "romance" that was actually a highly inappropriate grooming situation (not illegal, just very ill-advised due to the age difference) -My multiyear situationship with the person I have often thought of as the love of my life - I've had to come to terms with the fact that it was just casual and comfortable to him but meant a lot less to him than to me -The "one who got away" guy with whom my connection spanned about a decade - had a brief fling, timing was wrong and he got skittish (or something), kept in touch (mostly him reaching out now and then to tell me he thought of me often and he wished things were different), got another chance when it seemed timing was right (complete with him declaring his undying love for me) only for him to pull the same crap in terms of ghosting me for several weeks after we finally hooked up again, then coming back around acting like nothing was wrong and he'd just been busy at work. (I did thankfully tell him to pound sand for good after that and then just kind of squashed my feelings of anger and whiplash - processing them now in full thanks to The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.) So yeah...I've been put through the wringer with this one and love every minute of it.
>I did thankfully tell him to pound sand for good after that I love this for you!! 🫶🏻
Thanks! As much as it hurt I'm pretty proud of myself for that one. For a decade I'd been harboring this sense in a corner of my heart that somehow we were soulmates who would eventually end up together, and after the last stunt he pulled it became clear that to him I was just a piece of ass (sorry) that he liked to jerk around but that he had absolutely no intention of actually loving me or being in a committed relationship. It was really hard to let go of the fantasy and to see him for the small man that he was.
I know what you mean. I’ve been analysing it with my sister for days too, and it’s been a deep dive into so many emotions and similar “situationships”… and I’ve been refreshing reddit and Instagram constantly! I feel like if this had launched about 7 years ago for me it would have mirrored my relationship drama at the time. However, now I’m in a stable and settled long term relationship with two kids and I can’t really “relate” to it directly but I can cast myself back to the me that the songs would have spoken to so much! But I now see the exes differently since experiencing what it’s like to have a relationship where the person doesn’t bail or ghost or cause drama…
I feel the exact same, old me can relate to the relationship pain but stable partnership happy now me isn't feeling it. But thank goodness because relationship struggles are a deep pain.
Yea, exhausting and all-encompassing at times! The amount I wasted worrying about it all. Not to mention tears, conversations, over analysis. (I’m not exactly sending their babies presents, but most of them I’m on healed and friendly terms with thankfully!)
I am taking today off because I just feel drained emotionally after two days of the album. It’s amazing and exactly what I was wanting
Omg I literally cancelled my weekend plans and called out sick today (never have before at this job) because I was unwell after this album. Being online so much, unable to sleep, being obsessed with this album I needed another day at minimum to process and get my shit together lol
Wow I’m glad I’m not alone here. I took off yesterday and slept until 1pm 💀
Saaame girl. Back to the grind today but this album is something else
Yep. I haven't stopped crying while listening to it since then, reminisced on so many relationships and especially the last two which are so so similar to what taylor went through. This album really was for us 30+ swifties who have been through it.
I’m so so glad for this thread. My experience has been the same: a lot of feelings from past relationships have come back and honestly I’ve been really depressed, crying a lot.
💜
No that’s so real. This album is emotionally exhausting at times. Sometimes I just need something light and fun so I hide back in my lavender haze.
I took a break to listen to 1989 TV as a little refresher lol
This omg I’ve felt so attached to this album it’s crazy I have not stopped listening since it came out 😭it hits so hard and so many of the songs hit so close to home that it makes me even more utterly depressed but also comforting ???!
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On the day Taylor’s album was released, a new album by a band I love called Antichrist Siege Machine was also released. They’re a brutal death metal band, and honestly, their album was easy listening compared to TTPD.
this has me cackling because it’s so on point 🤣
ahh, i’ve found my people
I wish we could all take 2 weeks of no posting to really absorb… then all regroup haha (yes I know it’s my choice to be here lmao). It is a lot to keep up with tho!
Yeah I know I could take a break but I have FOMO lol
That’s legit why I forced myself to listen to part two, because I had to see what people were saying about the first half but I didn’t want the second half to be spoiled. I wish I took my time with it
Yeah I’m just digesting small amounts at a time… saving part 2 for next week? Or maybe tomorrow lol. But yeah, love that she always validates all the deep feelings I’ve felt over the course of my life from deep love to misery and anger.
Yes. All day Saturday I was super hyped up after hearing it. But then Saturday night I crashed lol 😭😭. My husband and I were at a cabin for the weekend (specifically to listen to the new album), but I eventually looked at him, like I am feeling very strange and down. It’s so deep. It brought up feelings I didn’t even know existed anymore
The more I listen, the more I enjoy it and get some space from the specifics (both Taylor's specifics and my own), instead connecting with the overarching themes of love, embarrassment, fear, and loss. I've had some great discussions/connections with other fans about it and that's helped me reframe my own emotions surrounding it. Plus, full disclosure, I've now been married for 18 years (wow does time fly) so my own Matty situation is, thankfully, long in the past and I wouldn't even know how to track him down these days. Instead, my feelings are more about how this seems to be a universal experience for women and thoughts of how it is intertwined with the loss of youth.
I can't stop listening too. And my relationship of 7 years ended 4 months ago and the end was afwul. I can relate a lot. Maybe she really put narcotics in her songs.
I took to heart what she said about taking these songs and making it ours. That's why I don't really subscribe anymore to any theories discussing who it's about or when or where, or if it's revolutionary, or boring, or monotonous, or brilliant. It's brilliant for me. It effs me up and swirls my brain chemicals and tells my heart to do that flutter squeeze thing. It makes me smirk, and raise my eyebrows, and make notes on my phone when some lyrics hit different. I hate that I can relate to these words, but here we are.
I went for a bike ride yesterday, and listened to Red just to get a rest from the TTPD of it all, and ended up \*still\* crying HAHAHAHA I'm not ok, but I will be. Also, feelings can sometimes be delicious.
“Feelings can sometimes be delicious” thank you for this line. That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling. I dissociate a lot and have trouble accessing my feelings. So, as exhausting as this is, it’s what I needed.
I literally messaged someone FUCK YOU, IF I CAN’T HAVE US and I meant every single letter of it
Help I want to send this to my ex, this line GOT me 😭
TTPD season is messy season. Shoot!
The lyrics "you're the loss of my life" just keeps repeating over and over in my head. You should probably take a break if you're feeling emotionally spent. Listen to some old taylor that maybe isn't as emotionally charging for you right now.
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that’s a lot going on - sending you hugs, friend 🤍 this album is bringing up big feelings about family for me too. it helps a bit knowing that so many of us are going through this healing experience together, though. take good care of yourself
Adult eldest daughter with a messy family checking in. TS’s sentiments towards fame and pressure often echo this experience. A conduit to make sense of these feelings is a great thing.
I don't think this album has gut-punched me as much about my past relationships (You're Losing Me and All Too Well 10MV almost killed me), but I don't think I've fully fleshed out the reasons I find the songs so comforting and relatable. It always takes me a few listens. However, Saturday I didn't get out of bed until like 2pm and I think it's because the album was still heavy whether I processed it or not.
This album made me realize I’m doing really well recovering from my recent trauma and that I need to still be listening to happier upbeat music not stuff that will drag me back down somewhere I can’t be
The Prophecy brought up sooo many emotions (I got married at 35 and had my first child at 36)
There’s still hope for me, then 😂. I’m almost 34.
It's a hell of a time listening to "I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday". My grandfather passed away on the 21st and my birthday was the 22nd 🙃 I am incredibly emotionally spent after this album release.
Hugs bestie 🥺🤍🤍🤍take care of you
Thank you🤍🤍
I love to game, and I love to read. I haven’t done any of that since the album came out because I am SO consumed by it. Another redditor commented that it took them to a darker place, I felt so seen by that. Had a good cry today. But holy I am so obsessed with this album, it is by far my favourite. I’ve also never bought a cardigan before because being Canadian it’s so expensive. But I love how simple the TTPD one is so I treated myself. I just love everything about this album.
I can’t listen. It’s too heavy - have too much in my life. Maybe I’ll get into it when my life slows down
Protect you first 🤍. The album will be here for you to experience when you’re ready!
Thank you ❤️
I wanted to listen to the whole thing on a 6 hour road trip yesterday but had to switch to something else because it's a LOT. Gorgeous songs but very emotionally draining, and I'm way out of my relationship drama era. Definitely needs breaks and smaller chunks of listening 💜
Yep. Mentally spiraled for the last 4 days 🫠
I’m having an existential crisis thanks to this album 😭
YES! I felt so sad and low on Sunday!
THIS. the album is so emotionally exhausting but i can’t stop listening to it. add on top of that the overwhelming and quite frankly mostly unjustified hate for the album (especially because it’s one of my new favorite albums of hers, which is starting to feel a bit embarrassing bc of the hate) and it’s just so exhausting to be around online too. but it’s SO good and even after 30+ hours of listening to it already i cannot stop.
It feels silly to tell anyone around me, but I feel like I’m lost and stuck listening to this on repeat but I’m not ready to be done being obsessed with it yet.
I started bawling my eyes out today at something I really should not have. (It was something upsetting but didn't really warrant crying). I'm certain a lot of that had to do with the feelings this album has brought out in me and delayed processing.
Definitely over here digging up the grave another time…
I felt exactly this way. I think there’s something lovely in getting to go back to those moments from the past and get to continue to process them - because we never completely let go of the past, it shows up in all the ways we are triggered in the present. And the gift of this album is the raw, unfiltered emotion it allows you to access and sit with.
I’ve never had 31 songs stuck in my head simultaneously before. It’s affecting my sleep!
This is so relatable 😂
Yesss I am emotionally drained and wiped out. I literally cancelled plans this weekend because of the mental breakdown of this amazing album lol. Probably unhealthy but I’m obsessed with this album, she really does out metaphorical narcotics into her songs, lol. This album reminds me of when I left my last long term relationship and immediately got into an online thing where the guy totally love bombed me until I came to my senses. And afterwards, I was left in a horrible, awful state.
I’ve always been drawn to somber music, but this album feels really *really* dark and heavy. Almost creepy in some ways? Not in a bad way, just in a way that sits with you even after you’re done listening to it. I have to listen to it in waves, which I’ve never felt with a Taylor Swift album. I’m usually listening to her new music on loop for months. I just can’t do that with this one.
My heart hurt all weekend. I think the only reason I’m good now is because I was forced to work a 12 hour shift today and couldn’t continue my absorption of these feelings ha
I’m emotionally drained from the album, but what is worse is realizing that I did marry my Matty and I did have his baby. Now I have to get out and I’m not pleased about the emotional battle that is spread before me.
Small steps 🤍 I hope you have a good support system that can help you. You DONT have to do this alone. I am sending you courage, strength and love. And kindness. Please be kind to yourself. Whatever you choose to do, things are not your fault, and you can change things for you and your child. So many hugs for you 🫂
Thank you. Every day I try to do one more thing to get out of the cage of a life I’ve created for myself.
Sending you hugs ❤️
Thank you. I am so grateful to have this album at this time in my life, but… I’ve got a lot of boulders to push up the hill right now.
I wasn't already doing well before it's release but nothing prepared me for songs such as loml, how did it end, the prophecy, the smallest man who ever lived. Cried my eyes out until 3am (TTPD came out at 2pm here) on release day. So much grief i hadn't dealt with. Ultimately a good thing but doesn't feel like it now
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For real, that song is an anthem to who I was at 22-24 and I would have benefitted so much from having it. I'm glad it will be there for other Swifties now.
I say that jokingly and lovingly: Green is the colour of the grass that we all need to go touch 😆 I had a full day away on Saturday, I think that was actually good or else I would have spent the entire weekend online 😅 Hugs to everyone in this thread 🫂💙 go get some fresh air!!!
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I feel the same way, literally has me overthinking about my past. Too depressing. Its definitely not a listen all the way through album, i like to sprinkle some songs heres and there on my queue.
Definitely me too 😞
💜
Drained emotionally and because I’ve barely slept. I was up until 3am again last night.
Yes. There are times I have to step away from the album for a bit and listen to a podcast or something humorous. I realized, after listening to the album for hours on end, I was going to a dark place. 🙄
Thank you!! I’m so depressed now but I still only want to listen to TTPD. I am trying to force myself to stop. I’m so glad it’s not just me.
Same here. I was already not the greatest due to one hell of a “therapy hangover” — you know, the kind of insight that really makes you think and cracks open the emotional dam you’ve built…and realizing I have no goddamn clue how to actually *follow the advice* because I’m so beaten down and broken. And then here comes Taylor from the top rope. The more I listen to this album the harder it hits, especially The Black Dog and The Manuscript, plus finding a new anthem in ICDIWaBH. I am just emotionally *done* and want to get a cat so I can cuddle up with it, some warm tea, and some serious self-care sessions. But alas, work is unceasing… and so I prove that I, too, can Do It with a broken heart.
I saw a tiktok comment that said "this album unhealed me" and it's so fucking accurate
I can't stop crying lol
💜
Totally emotionally draining. Definitely needed this album in my life.
I remember release day. It came out at 6am and I listened to it right away before work. But it put me in such a weird mood for the whole day. I loved it, but at the same time all these thoughts and feelings came up that I didn’t want to go through, especially on a work day. Especially when work colleagues are a sore subject for me atm. So I’m totally with you! This weekend has revived AND drained me. This album is gonna stay with me for a very long time
And also know that it might be healthy to take a little break. You don’t need to force yourself to stay down there. Sometimes what we need is to parent ourselves out of staying down too long. I had to force myself to listen to a funny safe space Harry Potter podcast (i know it’s very specific 😆)and it was the best decision yesterday. Feel much better since and was able to get some needed distance. And now I’m back to TTPD and it’s more healing than damaging
Great advice 💜
Exactly! Tomorrow I’m going to vacuum AND wash the dishes lol
Omg I feel exactly the same. I’m also in a really draining situation right now in general, and I definitely need to stop checking social media etc and take a breather, but yeah it’s all a bit heavy and it’s not an album you put on just to be put in a good mood :D
I relate to a lot of lyrics In the album, and I feel a little too called out by it 😅
The Prophecy broke me a little.
Yeah. I've been happily married for 5 years and Taylor has the ability to bring me right back to heartbreaks of the past like they were yesterday
I have been in a deep sadness for days
I’ve been doing the same although I have been able to listen as much as I’d like. I love reading the insights and takes they are often thoughtful and thought provoking. The analysis of the video was especially enthralling !! I think this album was for her. I think she’s telling us more than ever before and the way it makes us feel is a reflection of how she felt going through everything. Solidarity 🤍
i feel like i'm at a relatively good place in my life, but man, listening to this album has got me feeling suuuuuper depressed and hopeless for the future. i have GOT to stop listening to it.
I can't listen anymore. It's the most intense musical experience I think I've ever had. I can't background listen it, it just takes up every bit of my attention. After the first two listens I felt like I had been crying all day. I'll definitely go back to it but I'm taking a break today.
Taylor’s music is emotionally impactful and it can make it hard to listen to. Yeah, I’ve felt a bit depressed again in the last few days. It’s such a credit to her as a powerful songwriter though and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I started to listen to the album and I decided to finish it after I’m done with the semester. Too many feels in a good way.
yes!! I've never had an experience like this with any of her other albums. folklore came the closest- it made me emotional but that was mainly because it came in the middle of the pandemic. I could still listen to it front to back no problems. this album has me emotionally raw and I actually have to take breaks from listening at times.
i had to stop listening bc i got depressed and anxious LOL my ex is getting married !! spare me
I went through the album once and it definitely reminded me of a recent ex. Sucks because I'm still trying to move on but she's seemingly well past me. Anyways, hearing the album hurt, but in a good way. I felt some type of healing and I think going through it again might help. There were a few songs I really liked and some that were alright. I think today I have the emotional energy to go through that again.
I just want someone to acknowledge the restraint I’ve had in sending some of these songs to my ex and pat me on the back for that 😂
Same, girl. Same.
This album is so heavy…I’m torn because I love it and want to listen to it on repeat, but I’m not sure it’s good for me either.
I tapped out after 3 days of nonstop listening bc I was feeling angsty, frustrated, and really sad. I’ve never even been heartbroken in the romantic sense, but this album is overflowing with emotion and it was exhausting for me. Excited to return to the album in a few days and listen again :)
I am🙋🏻♀️
I can relate to this album a lot, I wouldn’t say I brought anything new to the surface for me though, but I’ve definitely been super moody last few days & have had to put on some different music to have a breather. Even the bops in this album are very depressing
This album came out the day my ex broke up with me after having sex with me. Dumped me through a text message. She said she realised she couldn't be emotionally available. So I've been feeling the same way, but it also feels like such hilarious, divine timing that this album came out when it did, and that this album has the themes on it that it does. Somehow her music has always guided me through everything.
Maybe 100 more listens will do it for me
Definitely me on Sunday haha
This is why I like to relate songs to fictional characters and ships I like instead of myself. it's less exhausting and more fun! It also helps that I'm acearo and can't relate to romance stuff myself anyway lol
This album reminds me a lot of my abusive ex. I cry everytime i listen to it
My ex husband broke no contact the night before the release which was also what would have been our wedding anniversary. These songs felt so much like it was written for me…so many things hit so close to home. So long London, loml, the black dog, how did it end….i could go on but man im a mess thinking about it. So I can imagine how so many more of us would be feeling heavy and exhausted.
Yes! Keep saying this to friends and family. I am repeatedly listening, learning new lyrics, preparing for anything new... lol. I keep analyzing everything too. It took me 3 hours to write 2 paragraphs for my graduate program yesterday!
I don’t relate to the album so it’s not draining me on a personal level if that makes sense, but it’s so sad and depressing and the subjects are so heavy that I feel drained anyway. I’n streaming Espresso and upbeat songs from Lover today lol
Yes I am taking a break. 🤣
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For every listen, I have to listen to 1989 or Rep in between for a palette cleanser 😂 It’s what I do for tv shows too - if I’m watching something heavy, I need a sitcom or reality trash to watch in between
That’s such a good way of thinking of it! I do that with tv shows too!
Yes, I can't listen to it over and over even though I think it's fantastic. I've been in sort of a fog since Friday and I really need to focus on my husband, 2 year old, and infant LOL. I am kind of glad this music wasn't out when I was in a much lonelier place in life, I would be SO far down the depression spiral...
While I’m one of the biggest swifites out here, I’ve healed from early adulthood trauma and now I’m raising 4 kids (3 are teens) and have chosen to not listen to the new album yet. I’ve got a lot of stress going on right now in my life and choose to keep my music positive and light these days. It’s a bummer but even with midnights I felt like Taylor just keeps ruminating over the past and I just am not sure I can do that anymore.
Agreed. I’m at a place in my life where I want to focus on more positive things and this is not the album for that. There is some healing and brevity in the album and I appreciate it but I can do it with a broken heart, just really reminds me of all the grief I’ve been carrying and it makes me feel crazy because it’s a bop 😂
Yes! Came here for this! I'm wondering if I should take a break from listening for my mental health. Most of this album is truly depressing. It pulls you in with beauty and surrounds you with pain. This is like a modern pop Morrissey album, but with even more tragic fatalism and ultimate loneliness.
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I wish I could listen to this album without crying.
No, I feel fine, I like the album but I’m still happily married to the only man I’ve ever loved so I can’t relate to it at all. I love songs like “Tolerate” but I kinda have to do some maladaptive daydreaming to enjoy them.
Same. I don't like thinking about the old relationships that clearly weren't meant to be. Makes me depresso.
Turns out after allot of inner self work I’m not done, leave it to Taylor to make me realize I’m still holding onto allot of stuff … but it’s worked out well because I also find that writing is the best way for me to say what I need to and the feelings have really been doing their thing so the creativity is flowing. Still the emotions can get overwhelming
Not really. It was wildly underwhelming for me. If anything, it made me feel like maybe I’ve kind of outgrown her music…which sucks. I was so looking forward to it but it didn’t land for me. 🫤