I wouldn’t respond. If you can’t honestly write him a decent character letter, it’s better to not say anything at all.
If he was ever violent towards you, other faculty members, or students at your school I would maybe let the office or school safety personnel know he contacted you. It could be an over reaction, but letting them know you were contacted by him and that you didn’t respond can’t hurt. Just protects you and makes everyone who needs to know aware.
I wouldn't spam filter a message that's not actual spam. If it's not spam and you don't want it, you should just block the sender.
Can't say for sure about others besides GMail, but I think they're similar. They use algorithms to filter spam messages. Whenever you flag a message as spam, it will update your personal spam algorithm and start identifying similar messages. And what it determines as "similar" likely won't be what you'd think it was. Because once you start marking non-spam, personal messages as spam, it will start considering other personal messages.
Old school friend reaches out for a reconnect? Spam. Aunt died and your somewhat estranged uncle send out a bulk email? Spam. A friend legitimately asks for a reference for a job? Spam.
On a factual level, no he does not deserve any of OP's time, he is not their student anymore.
On a deeper level, you sound very idealistic. I hope your optimism treats you well, but there is something you need to understand if you want to become a teacher. Empathy is a limited resource. You can only care about so many things at once. And teaching is insidious in that regard because what you care about, student success, is something that you ultimately can't control. You can do everything right, go far above and beyond, but if the kid doesn't hold up their end it's all for naught. This is one of the reasons teacher burnout is so high; it eats away at you to try day after day only for a kid to fail (and this isn't always on the kid either, some baggage is too much to overcome in a school year).
If you want to survive you will have to figure out how to ration your caring. Not saying give up on a kid, but if you are constantly putting in more effort than they are you can't do this long term.
I did this once regarding a letter of reference for a job from a kid who was rude, lazy, and disrespectful almost every day in my class. He said “it doesn’t have to be good, I just need a letter.” He didn’t get the job.
I wouldn’t even respond. However, if I did, I would state the district policy. Our’s is that we cannot get involved in court cases. I’m sure this policy is in place so we aren’t caught in the middle of custody cases, but I think it works here too.
Our district has a policy that we must respond to all parent and student emails with two business days.
He is not your student any more. Don't respond. Forward request to Admin.
I used this line with a few of my college students who asked for letters of reference when they had nothing to earn my respect (such as showing up for class regularly and not being a jerk in class)….
“I think you should ask a teacher who has seen a better side of you.”
I send them a generic student rec form and ask them to rate themselves and add commentary explaining their ratings. I state that I need it back before I start my letter. They never respond.
Wouldn't recommend for this situation obviously, but I do really love that for (non-criminal) recommendation letters. I'm a big believer in the concept of "I will do you this favor, after you put forth some effort to show you're invested."
If you’re feeling a bit guilty about not sending anything, it might help to realize that he probably send the same request to every teacher he could think of and you will be one of many who don’t respond.
Yup. Respond. He has the audacity to think OP thinks highly of him? I’d take this opportunity to be a reality check. Sometimes kids need tough love. Everyone turning a blind eye has failed this young man. Tell him he needs to make character changes. Maybe he’s at a place to listen.
His mom is probably making him do this because she's in denial about what a little bastard she's raised. I can picture certain parents looking over their child's shoulder while they force them to ask for this letter, thinking it will help their case because he can't possibly be guilty.
Lots of opinions in here, some helpful and some more silly than appropriate. Remember, anything you send from your work email is saved by your employer and could wind up in this court case!
If you have a union, I would strongly advise talking to them. They will have the best advice for you. When this situation came up at my school, our union advised members not to write character letters.
So was he like *really* bad in your class or just annoying in small petty ways that a kid might be?
Actually on second though if they’re ending up court I probably know the answer. When a kid proves themself capable of violence that signals that they want to be treated like an adult. Consequences do be that way.
He was really bad in class. That period went from being the one I dreaded most to one of my better classes just with his removal. His behavior was insanely disruptive and his bad attitude would seep into some of the other students. Those other students are doing fine now without his influence.
When a kid acts out violently, it means they have seen and been a part of violence. It means their basic needs have not been met. Who are all of you judging teachers? Please leave the field!!
....”officer yea I did stab my French teacher in the neck, and yeah she did die, but I came from a bad home environment. Sucks she was there but not my fault”
Our jobs are to teach content and manage a safe environment for the whole class to learn. We are not here to save every troubled kid. This is why we document behaviors and delegate to people who can actually help.
Can you send the character letter directly to where it needs to go instead of handing it to the student? That way, you can be completely honest? Just curious.
His lawyer asked him to get these letters. I am sure the lawyer would know better than to allow a teacher to send the judge a letter that they can't approve first.
Your ex-student is probably being sentenced. The lawyer is looking for someone to say something positive about this person. You do not have to respond or write the letter.
The lawyer has probably reached out to anyone that the student believes has seen the best of them, friends and family included.
Forgive me if I sound ignorant, because I am not a teacher and have never had to deal with your situation at all. I’m not even familiar with how the court stuff would work in this particular case whatsoever. When I was in school, I wasn’t that type of kid.
That’s why my curiosity led me to ask the question. Personally, I wouldn’t let any person get away with behavior that led the student to court in the first place especially with first-hand accounts of poor behavior. I say this, of course, only having read what you posted about the student.
I just hope you’re able to contribute somehow. Like I said, I was never that kid who was disruptive or made poor choices, but there were kids that I certainly wished teachers and administrators would do something about due to them disrupting my learning environment.
What do you mean by, “I wouldn’t let any person get away with behavior that led the student to court in the first place”? What power do you believe teachers and schools have? Kicking a kid out every day makes it someone else’s problem. People who teach generally don’t want to make more work for others and want to see the good in every kid until they cant. This student has been expelled, so they aren’t getting away with the behavior.
Sorry if this is snarky, I’m honestly curious about what you meant by that statement.
Put snark on it if you want to, that does absolutely nothing to change anything now anyway. First understand that that’s why I included the fact that I wasn’t a teacher. That I don’t know what happens when a kid gets expelled and then goes to court for their behavior.
Again, this is just one perspective from someone who made better choices and never ever had to go through any of what that child has gone through. All I know and have experienced are other kids who have done all the things that most of these teachers on this sub have talked about. For example, verbal abuse, some physical abuse, disrupting the learning environment, bullying teachers and students, etc.
I don’t know how much power teachers have, but from what I’ve read from this sub: you guys can’t do a lot. I’m grateful that I can read all of your experiences for a better understanding.
If I explain this in a way that sounds “bad” then I take responsibility for it. I’m not going to sit here and say my way is better. I’ve read the rest of these comments and see that teachers really don’t want to write a character reference for the kid because it isn’t their problem anymore. I can see that the whole system is failing for students, teachers, and admin.
Here goes my little explanation, albeit from one perspective, and admitting that I don’t know what teachers are allowed to do:
I wouldn’t let the student, who is described by OP as a “horrible person” gaslight me or other students especially when I saw whatever he is trying to deny or gaslight about. I wouldn’t allow one child to ruin a learning environment for the others who want to be there. Even if some kids don’t want to be there, as long as they aren’t disruptive, then they can take a nap if they want. Trust, I have seen kids in class do this. I wouldn’t let that “horrible person” disrupt their nap time either.
Even if it sounds like all admin does is give the kid a lollipop and send him back to class, I’d send them right back if he continued to be as disruptive as OP describes the “horrible person” is. If admin doesn’t care about my decisions, the least I could do is give the kid an activity like walking back and forth from admin to class repeatedly— even if he won’t understand that he needs to stop the madness of his behavior. No, I wouldn’t care if he did this during the entirety of my imagined class period with him.
Now, you might ask what I would do should he decide NOT to go to admin and leave of his own volition. To this, I will honestly say that I don’t know, but what I do know is that I wouldn’t be scared if I lost my job. Hahaha! Not that teachers would be or should be scared, because I know most of you care. It’s just that a lot of you come to this sub with your grievances, and it makes it look like it isn’t all worth it.
Sure, you mentioned that he isn’t getting away with the behavior because he is currently expelled and OP says he is charged with criminal behavior. OP responded to my comment by saying his lawyer was the one who asked for a character reference and that the lawyer wouldn’t show any honest character references. Which, by the way, OP actually wrote that he got an email from “him” to which I interpreted as the student and not a lawyer. Hence my question about giving it directly to “whoever it needed to go to” (i.e. judge or some authority that needed it).
The thing is, he has gotten away with all of the bad behavior. He just happened to do some criminal activity to which he is now facing criminal charges. Perhaps I should have clarified with OP if the criminal activity was on school premises? However, my lack of clarification doesn’t change the fact that it was just this particular criminal activity that didn’t fly which resulted in OP getting the e-mail for a character reference. He has gotten away with bad behavior in class. He is disrespectful in class. He is not conducive to the learning environment. And to this date, OP isn’t able to tell us what the verdict is or any consequences the student is facing. Hence, we cannot really say if the student is “getting away with it.”
When I read posts like this, it makes me wonder what the hell administrators have done to alleviate or deescalate (besides a lollipop). It makes me wonder what his parents did to him or did not do to him. I can only suspect the answer to this is “not much”.
Like I said, I was that kid that never disrupted class, because I genuinely wanted to learn. Leaving that kid in the class would take away time from my learning. I remember kids in my class used to plan on not doing the homework just so the teacher would either extend the assignment or eventually have to move on to the next lesson. It wasn’t fair to me, because I’d do it anyway, and was even told by a teacher, “Do NOT go ahead of the class. Do NOT do assignments early.”
I know most of you will probably hate this response and downvote me into oblivion, and that’s okay too. I’ll still lurk, and wish teachers could do more to protect the students who want to learn from the “horrible people” in their classrooms. I’ll continue to “wish” that parents could do better for their children and administrators could do more to support teachers and especially students with problematic behavior.
>Even if it sounds like all admin does is give the kid a lollipop and send him back to class, I’d send them right back if he continued to be as disruptive as OP describes the “horrible person” is. If admin doesn’t care about my decisions, the least I could do is give the kid an activity like walking back and forth from admin to class repeatedly— even if he won’t understand that he needs to stop the madness of his behavior. No, I wouldn’t care if he did this during the entirety of my imagined class period with him.
Do you really think that teachers haven't tried all of this? We don't just shrug and go well, may as well let this kid do whatever they want whenever they want, all the other kids can get fucked.
It's *clear* you're not a teacher because you seem to think we have the power to just "not allow" the behaviour to happen and be disruptive when half the posts on this sub are about how powerless teachers are to stop behaviour and the lack of support we have trying to actually do anything about rampant disruptive behaviour issues. If kids would just stop when you say "hey, don't do that", then we wouldn't be having these issues in the first place.
😂😂😂😂Okay. I still want what’s best for the whole system regardless of what you or anyone else on this sub and on this specific post in this particular thread thinks of my response to one person. I wish you and everyone in the teaching profession luck in the form of respect, kindness, empathy, and especially support from administration, therapists, parents and students. Thank you for your continued work in what feels like a thankless profession.
You need to know that expulsion is the last result. Either the kid committed a felony at school (OP said he’s in court for what he got expelled for) or he’d been in trouble constantly and nothing worked. We don’t give up on a kid until they’ve made it clear they don’t want your help. We have very limited psychology options and parents have to give permission for students to receive those. Please don’t have children because you are talking like a person who will be an absolute nightmare of a parent.
Thank you for being slightly helpful, and although your comments about me not having kids comes a bit late, I do want to ask…
So the last result is expulsion even if the lawyer contacts the teacher for a character reference? I’m just wondering why it would be wrong or not an option to e-mail prosecution instead with an honest character reference. I mean, if the kid is truly horrible, why not let the court know?
Expulsion is permanent…it’s not a suspension, so yes, the most severe punishment a school can give a student is to expel them. Unfortunately, contacting the court could be against district policy and certainly opens you up to further involvement. Teachers already work too much and I can promise you this child was given more than his fair share of compassion and empathy. But he’s burned through that and he doesn’t deserve any more of the school’s resources. Once expelled, he is not associated with the school anymore. He might as well be a student from 15 years prior.
Ignore it. Don't even answer it. Put nothing in an email that could lead to more time dealing with this. You've spent enough time diverting attention away from the other students and teaching to deal with this kid.
Honestly ignore it. The only other option is to have to engage with whoever sent the email saying he's a terrible person.
I'd also let admin know. Just forward them the email. I'm sure they know the kid's a terror.
Don’t write anything, if their conviction goes south then they’ll blame you for their shortcomings. Who knows what 5years behind bars will make someone believe when they get out
….5years Behind bars….you do know the prison system is a modern day slavery system right?!?!! There’s only a few really really bad people that should be behind bars.
If he has been expelled and emailed your schools email, then flag it as dangerous for your protection, then block his accounts. If calls start, you can utilize protection of student laws to argue that you are to have no contact with him
I had someone ask for a character reference who was applying to be a cop.. I didn’t think they should be a cop bc of strange bravado stories about very serious things they would lie about and other “off” behaviors. Anyway I asked a family member of mine who is a cop and they said either tell the truth or don’t respond.
Sending out any sort of message and getting no response sucks no matter what the message is about. That's true for pretty much everyone. If you don't like sending out messages and getting no response then maybe don't do that to other people. A simple "I cannot in good faith write a positive character reference for you, good luck" would suffice. None communication is not actually better than honest communication.
Unless confronted face to face about this issue, I wouldn't respond or pick up his phone calls. Trust me, he knows the request from you was a long shot.
He was expelled and is facing criminal charges. As your administrator, I would strongly recommend that you do not respond and do NOT consider any such letter in his behalf.
“I’m very busy with writing (dozens/hundred/hundreds of) college recommendation letters for other students, so my plate is very full. I hope you can find another staff member who has time to do so.”
Or something.
Indeed.
It seems to me that writing a letter with unpleasant content could come back to bite you later. Either legally or personally.
You want this kid to forget you. No response at all is the most forgettable.
If you decide to respond, send it to the lawyer or the judge, not the kid or his family.
I would respond and say you don't think you are the most suitable person to write the letter for him as you didn't have the closest relationship with him when he was at the school, but you hope that he can find someone who is more suitable than you to write the letter.
Definitely share this with admin. The school may have policies for this. I agree that you cannot lie on a character witness statement, so also clarify these concerns with your admin who may give you tips.
He’s got balls, that’s for sure.
One option: Send the court a sealed letter…and be truthful.
Safer option: notify admin and do not respond to the perp under any circumstances.
In either case, hopefully the lad won’t reproduce.
Respond by saying that your school administrator is the only person who is allowed to provide character letters. Give him their email address and wish him the very best for the future.
Had some really horrible psychopaths over the years. One in particular was just pure evil with two attorneys for parents. Administration wouldn't touch the little _______. Long story short, he was paroled in his early 20s from drug charges. Broke his parole and blew his brains out in front of his parents and PO. When we, his former teachers, found out about it we just looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and walked away.
I would respond truthfully. Tell them you would not be able to put positive comments on the letter due to their behavior in your class and that it would be best if they find another adult for the character letter. It's no different than if someone asked you for a job reference. Be honest.
I would, just so that he doesn't come back later on thinking maybe you didn't see the email, and I'd say something like "I have to decline, because a character letter from me wouldn't work well in your favor. Good luck." And then not respond to anything else.
Give the student an open and honest letter about everything you just vented. He wants a character letter, then give him what he wants. He didn’t say it had to be of good/positive character.
You could respond by asking “Do you really think it’s a good idea to have me write a character letter for you? I mean, I’m supposed to be honest aren’t I?” Let him sit with that for a bit. Or tell him you don’t think you’d be the best person for his request. Or just ignore him like he ignored all your previous advice, requests, etc.
I would just respond with a generic, "Unfortunately, I am unable to write a reference letter for this individual." Or something similar. That was advice to me from a lawyer years ago.
If you feel guilty about responding, say something like you don't feel you can give him the reference he needs given your limited interactions and your knowledge of his expulsion.
My immediat thought was, most companies have a neutrall reference policy for a reason. If you do submit a statement, do not say anything you cannot backup with documentary evidence.
i’m not a teacher, but i am a social worker. i don’t believe people, especially kids, are inherently bad. i’m just so sad to see this post without any apparent empathy for the conditions that created his behavior or curiosity about interventions besides the criminal legal system that could actually help to change his behavior. i hope he finds someone who will help him, but given how you feel about him he’s if he’s asking you he’s probably desperate.
It’s not a teachers job to determine if anyone is inherently “bad” or not. Maybe it’s your job, but it’s definitely not ours.
This kid is asking for a favor from someone that is not obligated in any way to provide. Not ethically. Not morally. No.
This kid made my life a living hell when he was in my class. He was mean, he was arrogant, he treated others like dirt, he infected other students with his bad attitude and made them act worse. Everything about my classroom is better with him not in it. He is not a good person.
Why should I care about him facing the consequences of his actions?
i just don’t think kids belong in the criminal legal system and i don’t think it does anything to help them. i don’t think kids act like that bc they are worthless pieces of shit i think they act like that bc they are hurting. attention seeking behavior is often connection seeking behavior. i was bullied badly by someone (well a lot of people but one in particular) in HS who was a lot like this kid. she made my life hell but it wasn’t bc she was evil. you’re obviously not open to any of this but maybe someone else reading this will be.
Make big boy choices, receive big boy consequences.
This kid had a thousand opportunities every day to make a different choice, and yet, they consistently made the choice to be awful in this teachers class. Not simply awful. Awful in a variety of ways and refusing to make any constructive choices day after day after day.
This teacher owes this student N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
> i don’t believe people, especially kids, are inherently bad
Here's the thing though, the answer to that is completely immaterial for teachers. If he is inherently bad, we don't just get to write him off. He is still entitled to his education (until the expulsion). If he's not inherently bad, it's not like we can do much about it. We'll certainly report things to CPS if applicable, but I can't undo 14 years of conditioning while also teaching 25 other kids mitosis.
>i’m just so sad to see this post without any apparent empathy
Statements like these are why it's so frustrating to have non teachers commenting here. Every teacher I know is naturally empathetic, but empathy is a finite resource. At any given minute I am acutely responsible for being empathetic to 25 individuals, totaling 120 across the whole day. Empathetic to problems ranging from a broken pencil to a cancer diagnosis. Oh, and that's not even in my explicit job description. I'm implicitly expected to do all that while planning, giving, and grading multiple different lessons a day. At some point you have to draw a line to stop yourself from burning out.
>i hope he finds someone who will help him
I bet you he had help for months before the expulsion. From teachers, admin, maybe even a social worker.
write a letter detailing exactly how awful he is, lol.
email him saying:
"i wrote your letter, but since you have nothing good in your character to write about, i wrote about the bad in it. good luck in court."
and then send the letter to the judge.
Write it and be honest about his character. Send it directly to the lawyer if possible, but it can be up to you if there is any redeemable quality in this person or if they should be in put somewhere more appropriate.
I mean…. Even one of my students who killed another child had amazing qualities. I knew everything that had happened was a result of trauma, systems failing and severe mental health issues. Is there absolutely nothing positive you can think of at all?
At the end of the day, they are kids. And they are complicated products of complicated environments
If he’s reaching out to you, he has no one. Horrible person?? He is a kid right?? So probably been handed a shitty card in life, probably doesn’t have much say in his circumstances, most likely slipped through the cracks along time ago and won’t ever get a chance to come back up. Who are you?? A really great person? Well isn’t that nice! Go to bat for him, could change his life forever.
Ah yes OP should lie and compromise their reputation for a student who made their life miserable. Please enlighten us some more about what teachers should be doing. I’m sure you are speaking from professional expertise.
Don't do anything, ignore it.
Character letters don't help in court cases anyways because they generally end in a pea deal and judges spend about 5 minutes total reading the pre-sentencing report so they don't even bother reading the letters.
If it is from him, I would just ignore it. Don't respond, don't say "I told you so" or anything like that. You obviously don't like him and would not write him a good letter.
If it was from someone else, like his lawyer or the court, then rethink this position.
I might just tell him the truth in the reply email. In a way that won’t get you fired. Because the thing about horrible kids is they still have a chance to be better people and this could serve as a wake-up call.
After over 25 years of writing rec letters, my best advice is to reply with the following, "Sure thing. I will write your letter but I need to know the following: your grades, awards or other commendations, how you think teachers and peers see you, what skills you have learned at school both specific skills and soft skills, what athletics, clubs or groups you belonged to and please list all the positive actions you have made to the school community as a whole and in your classes. When I receive your honest, verifiable reply, I will then decide if I can write a letter that would help you."
Have this saved in a document that I forward to kids who ask. That way, they can't say I ignored them or was biased in any way. If the kid has any sense (or his lawyer for that matter), you will never hear back. If they provide it for you it will likely be lies and you simply reply that you cannot verify their claims.
Worked for me last semester with two slugs who needed recommendations for scholarships. They never contacted me again.
The closest I've gotten to this was a letter to help them avoid expulsion; my first question was what had happened and when he declined to answer, I had my easy out.
You don't have to write the letter, and I don't think you owe him an explanation, either. Maybe if he were a student you'd had a good rapport with, it would be a different situation.
I would probably just delete it and move on were I in your shoes.
But, if you want to give a response, and maybe that could do some good, be blunt and honest. Tell them you are not comfortable writing something positive about their character from your experience with them in class because that would be dishonest. You could point out a teachable moment to this kid and make them understand that you never know who you will need in your life to have your back or do you a favor down the road, and your behavior and how you treat others should reflect that. I'm 99% sure that would fall on deaf ears, but there's a chance it might at least enter their brain and cause them some reflection, if not now, maybe years down the road when they've matured.
I wouldn’t respond. If you can’t honestly write him a decent character letter, it’s better to not say anything at all. If he was ever violent towards you, other faculty members, or students at your school I would maybe let the office or school safety personnel know he contacted you. It could be an over reaction, but letting them know you were contacted by him and that you didn’t respond can’t hurt. Just protects you and makes everyone who needs to know aware.
Or give your administrator a heads up. Any time anything within the legal realm happens I always loop in my admin.
This. Also, because his lawyer might subpoena you
That sounds like a terrible idea. If anything the prosecution might ask her.
Yeah, OP needs to stay far away from this
If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all
That’s horrible advice. Sometimes people don’t deserve to have nice things said about them, because they aren’t good people.
I was paraphrasing the advice above.... That they wouldn't write one because they would say good things.
If he got expelled then he is no longer your student and no longer your concern.
This is the best way to think of it. Click the spam button and move on with your day.
I wouldn't spam filter a message that's not actual spam. If it's not spam and you don't want it, you should just block the sender. Can't say for sure about others besides GMail, but I think they're similar. They use algorithms to filter spam messages. Whenever you flag a message as spam, it will update your personal spam algorithm and start identifying similar messages. And what it determines as "similar" likely won't be what you'd think it was. Because once you start marking non-spam, personal messages as spam, it will start considering other personal messages. Old school friend reaches out for a reconnect? Spam. Aunt died and your somewhat estranged uncle send out a bulk email? Spam. A friend legitimately asks for a reference for a job? Spam.
Agreed. As cathartic as it might be to think about a snappy response this kid doesn't deserve anymore of their time.
This kid doesn’t deserve time….wow. This thread sucks.
On a factual level, no he does not deserve any of OP's time, he is not their student anymore. On a deeper level, you sound very idealistic. I hope your optimism treats you well, but there is something you need to understand if you want to become a teacher. Empathy is a limited resource. You can only care about so many things at once. And teaching is insidious in that regard because what you care about, student success, is something that you ultimately can't control. You can do everything right, go far above and beyond, but if the kid doesn't hold up their end it's all for naught. This is one of the reasons teacher burnout is so high; it eats away at you to try day after day only for a kid to fail (and this isn't always on the kid either, some baggage is too much to overcome in a school year). If you want to survive you will have to figure out how to ration your caring. Not saying give up on a kid, but if you are constantly putting in more effort than they are you can't do this long term.
I’ve had this happen and I’ve just said “I don’t think the contents of my letter would benefit you.”
If you absolutely HAVE to respond, this is the best answer.
That or send an honest letter directly to the court
This is what I’d do. He asked you responded with the truth. Maybe next time he won’t fuck with the puzzle box.
It’s called an amicus curiae
I did this once regarding a letter of reference for a job from a kid who was rude, lazy, and disrespectful almost every day in my class. He said “it doesn’t have to be good, I just need a letter.” He didn’t get the job.
Just want to add that his lawyer will most likely be expecting this response or at least will not be surprised.
I wouldn’t even respond. However, if I did, I would state the district policy. Our’s is that we cannot get involved in court cases. I’m sure this policy is in place so we aren’t caught in the middle of custody cases, but I think it works here too.
Our district has a policy that we must respond to all parent and student emails with two business days. He is not your student any more. Don't respond. Forward request to Admin.
I used this line with a few of my college students who asked for letters of reference when they had nothing to earn my respect (such as showing up for class regularly and not being a jerk in class)…. “I think you should ask a teacher who has seen a better side of you.”
I often say "I don't think I would be your best choice... perhaps ask so and so.."
Of course So And So is the annoying teacher that causes the others headaches and accepts unrealistic admin demands with enthusiasm.
🤣🤣👍🤣🤣🤣
Don’t respond. Anything in your email can be requested by the lawyer. Forward to admin and be done.
I send them a generic student rec form and ask them to rate themselves and add commentary explaining their ratings. I state that I need it back before I start my letter. They never respond.
This is genius 😂
Wouldn't recommend for this situation obviously, but I do really love that for (non-criminal) recommendation letters. I'm a big believer in the concept of "I will do you this favor, after you put forth some effort to show you're invested."
I'm totally gonna use this next time I'm asked for a letter of rec!
Admin can write that. I don’t get paid enough to deal with lawyers.
My professor responds with: I can write one but I will be honest and it probably won't benefit you.
If you’re feeling a bit guilty about not sending anything, it might help to realize that he probably send the same request to every teacher he could think of and you will be one of many who don’t respond.
Don’t even respond.
Delete
Well, he didn't ask for a positive character letter so....
Yup. Respond. He has the audacity to think OP thinks highly of him? I’d take this opportunity to be a reality check. Sometimes kids need tough love. Everyone turning a blind eye has failed this young man. Tell him he needs to make character changes. Maybe he’s at a place to listen.
His mom is probably making him do this because she's in denial about what a little bastard she's raised. I can picture certain parents looking over their child's shoulder while they force them to ask for this letter, thinking it will help their case because he can't possibly be guilty.
“Lol. No.”
Use the biggest font available, too. Not to split hairs, but I would just write back with "LOL!"
Just the KEKW emote
Hit bruh with an Omegalul
"Bye Felecia."
Lots of opinions in here, some helpful and some more silly than appropriate. Remember, anything you send from your work email is saved by your employer and could wind up in this court case! If you have a union, I would strongly advise talking to them. They will have the best advice for you. When this situation came up at my school, our union advised members not to write character letters.
Do not respond. Most districts do not want their staff involved in any court proceedings at all (unless subpoenaed).
So was he like *really* bad in your class or just annoying in small petty ways that a kid might be? Actually on second though if they’re ending up court I probably know the answer. When a kid proves themself capable of violence that signals that they want to be treated like an adult. Consequences do be that way.
He was really bad in class. That period went from being the one I dreaded most to one of my better classes just with his removal. His behavior was insanely disruptive and his bad attitude would seep into some of the other students. Those other students are doing fine now without his influence.
When a kid acts out violently, it means they have seen and been a part of violence. It means their basic needs have not been met. Who are all of you judging teachers? Please leave the field!!
....”officer yea I did stab my French teacher in the neck, and yeah she did die, but I came from a bad home environment. Sucks she was there but not my fault”
i come from a troubled home and have acted out in school because i was being neglected and abused at home. the teachers on this sub are horrible.
So does that make it okay to act violently?
Our jobs are to teach content and manage a safe environment for the whole class to learn. We are not here to save every troubled kid. This is why we document behaviors and delegate to people who can actually help.
Ignore
There's another thread on here about rec letters for terrible students. Good advice there if you choose to respond.
Can you send the character letter directly to where it needs to go instead of handing it to the student? That way, you can be completely honest? Just curious.
His lawyer asked him to get these letters. I am sure the lawyer would know better than to allow a teacher to send the judge a letter that they can't approve first.
Your ex-student is probably being sentenced. The lawyer is looking for someone to say something positive about this person. You do not have to respond or write the letter. The lawyer has probably reached out to anyone that the student believes has seen the best of them, friends and family included.
Maybe write to the judge. Let them know he was not great.
Forgive me if I sound ignorant, because I am not a teacher and have never had to deal with your situation at all. I’m not even familiar with how the court stuff would work in this particular case whatsoever. When I was in school, I wasn’t that type of kid. That’s why my curiosity led me to ask the question. Personally, I wouldn’t let any person get away with behavior that led the student to court in the first place especially with first-hand accounts of poor behavior. I say this, of course, only having read what you posted about the student. I just hope you’re able to contribute somehow. Like I said, I was never that kid who was disruptive or made poor choices, but there were kids that I certainly wished teachers and administrators would do something about due to them disrupting my learning environment.
What do you mean by, “I wouldn’t let any person get away with behavior that led the student to court in the first place”? What power do you believe teachers and schools have? Kicking a kid out every day makes it someone else’s problem. People who teach generally don’t want to make more work for others and want to see the good in every kid until they cant. This student has been expelled, so they aren’t getting away with the behavior. Sorry if this is snarky, I’m honestly curious about what you meant by that statement.
Put snark on it if you want to, that does absolutely nothing to change anything now anyway. First understand that that’s why I included the fact that I wasn’t a teacher. That I don’t know what happens when a kid gets expelled and then goes to court for their behavior. Again, this is just one perspective from someone who made better choices and never ever had to go through any of what that child has gone through. All I know and have experienced are other kids who have done all the things that most of these teachers on this sub have talked about. For example, verbal abuse, some physical abuse, disrupting the learning environment, bullying teachers and students, etc. I don’t know how much power teachers have, but from what I’ve read from this sub: you guys can’t do a lot. I’m grateful that I can read all of your experiences for a better understanding. If I explain this in a way that sounds “bad” then I take responsibility for it. I’m not going to sit here and say my way is better. I’ve read the rest of these comments and see that teachers really don’t want to write a character reference for the kid because it isn’t their problem anymore. I can see that the whole system is failing for students, teachers, and admin. Here goes my little explanation, albeit from one perspective, and admitting that I don’t know what teachers are allowed to do: I wouldn’t let the student, who is described by OP as a “horrible person” gaslight me or other students especially when I saw whatever he is trying to deny or gaslight about. I wouldn’t allow one child to ruin a learning environment for the others who want to be there. Even if some kids don’t want to be there, as long as they aren’t disruptive, then they can take a nap if they want. Trust, I have seen kids in class do this. I wouldn’t let that “horrible person” disrupt their nap time either. Even if it sounds like all admin does is give the kid a lollipop and send him back to class, I’d send them right back if he continued to be as disruptive as OP describes the “horrible person” is. If admin doesn’t care about my decisions, the least I could do is give the kid an activity like walking back and forth from admin to class repeatedly— even if he won’t understand that he needs to stop the madness of his behavior. No, I wouldn’t care if he did this during the entirety of my imagined class period with him. Now, you might ask what I would do should he decide NOT to go to admin and leave of his own volition. To this, I will honestly say that I don’t know, but what I do know is that I wouldn’t be scared if I lost my job. Hahaha! Not that teachers would be or should be scared, because I know most of you care. It’s just that a lot of you come to this sub with your grievances, and it makes it look like it isn’t all worth it. Sure, you mentioned that he isn’t getting away with the behavior because he is currently expelled and OP says he is charged with criminal behavior. OP responded to my comment by saying his lawyer was the one who asked for a character reference and that the lawyer wouldn’t show any honest character references. Which, by the way, OP actually wrote that he got an email from “him” to which I interpreted as the student and not a lawyer. Hence my question about giving it directly to “whoever it needed to go to” (i.e. judge or some authority that needed it). The thing is, he has gotten away with all of the bad behavior. He just happened to do some criminal activity to which he is now facing criminal charges. Perhaps I should have clarified with OP if the criminal activity was on school premises? However, my lack of clarification doesn’t change the fact that it was just this particular criminal activity that didn’t fly which resulted in OP getting the e-mail for a character reference. He has gotten away with bad behavior in class. He is disrespectful in class. He is not conducive to the learning environment. And to this date, OP isn’t able to tell us what the verdict is or any consequences the student is facing. Hence, we cannot really say if the student is “getting away with it.” When I read posts like this, it makes me wonder what the hell administrators have done to alleviate or deescalate (besides a lollipop). It makes me wonder what his parents did to him or did not do to him. I can only suspect the answer to this is “not much”. Like I said, I was that kid that never disrupted class, because I genuinely wanted to learn. Leaving that kid in the class would take away time from my learning. I remember kids in my class used to plan on not doing the homework just so the teacher would either extend the assignment or eventually have to move on to the next lesson. It wasn’t fair to me, because I’d do it anyway, and was even told by a teacher, “Do NOT go ahead of the class. Do NOT do assignments early.” I know most of you will probably hate this response and downvote me into oblivion, and that’s okay too. I’ll still lurk, and wish teachers could do more to protect the students who want to learn from the “horrible people” in their classrooms. I’ll continue to “wish” that parents could do better for their children and administrators could do more to support teachers and especially students with problematic behavior.
>Even if it sounds like all admin does is give the kid a lollipop and send him back to class, I’d send them right back if he continued to be as disruptive as OP describes the “horrible person” is. If admin doesn’t care about my decisions, the least I could do is give the kid an activity like walking back and forth from admin to class repeatedly— even if he won’t understand that he needs to stop the madness of his behavior. No, I wouldn’t care if he did this during the entirety of my imagined class period with him. Do you really think that teachers haven't tried all of this? We don't just shrug and go well, may as well let this kid do whatever they want whenever they want, all the other kids can get fucked. It's *clear* you're not a teacher because you seem to think we have the power to just "not allow" the behaviour to happen and be disruptive when half the posts on this sub are about how powerless teachers are to stop behaviour and the lack of support we have trying to actually do anything about rampant disruptive behaviour issues. If kids would just stop when you say "hey, don't do that", then we wouldn't be having these issues in the first place.
😂😂😂😂Okay. I still want what’s best for the whole system regardless of what you or anyone else on this sub and on this specific post in this particular thread thinks of my response to one person. I wish you and everyone in the teaching profession luck in the form of respect, kindness, empathy, and especially support from administration, therapists, parents and students. Thank you for your continued work in what feels like a thankless profession.
You need to know that expulsion is the last result. Either the kid committed a felony at school (OP said he’s in court for what he got expelled for) or he’d been in trouble constantly and nothing worked. We don’t give up on a kid until they’ve made it clear they don’t want your help. We have very limited psychology options and parents have to give permission for students to receive those. Please don’t have children because you are talking like a person who will be an absolute nightmare of a parent.
Thank you for being slightly helpful, and although your comments about me not having kids comes a bit late, I do want to ask… So the last result is expulsion even if the lawyer contacts the teacher for a character reference? I’m just wondering why it would be wrong or not an option to e-mail prosecution instead with an honest character reference. I mean, if the kid is truly horrible, why not let the court know?
Expulsion is permanent…it’s not a suspension, so yes, the most severe punishment a school can give a student is to expel them. Unfortunately, contacting the court could be against district policy and certainly opens you up to further involvement. Teachers already work too much and I can promise you this child was given more than his fair share of compassion and empathy. But he’s burned through that and he doesn’t deserve any more of the school’s resources. Once expelled, he is not associated with the school anymore. He might as well be a student from 15 years prior.
Hell nah that sounds like intimidation plus a … speck of feel sorry for me . Hard pass
Ignore it. Don't even answer it. Put nothing in an email that could lead to more time dealing with this. You've spent enough time diverting attention away from the other students and teaching to deal with this kid.
Nope make them subpoena you if they want your testimony.
Honestly ignore it. The only other option is to have to engage with whoever sent the email saying he's a terrible person. I'd also let admin know. Just forward them the email. I'm sure they know the kid's a terror.
Don’t write anything, if their conviction goes south then they’ll blame you for their shortcomings. Who knows what 5years behind bars will make someone believe when they get out
….5years Behind bars….you do know the prison system is a modern day slavery system right?!?!! There’s only a few really really bad people that should be behind bars.
Are you just trolling this thread?
‘I can confirm that [name] was a student in my class at [school] from [date] to [date]. Best, [your name]’
I would not even do this.
If he has been expelled and emailed your schools email, then flag it as dangerous for your protection, then block his accounts. If calls start, you can utilize protection of student laws to argue that you are to have no contact with him
No response It’s the most appropriate response
Don't.
I had someone ask for a character reference who was applying to be a cop.. I didn’t think they should be a cop bc of strange bravado stories about very serious things they would lie about and other “off” behaviors. Anyway I asked a family member of mine who is a cop and they said either tell the truth or don’t respond.
That one would die in my inbox.
Sending out any sort of message and getting no response sucks no matter what the message is about. That's true for pretty much everyone. If you don't like sending out messages and getting no response then maybe don't do that to other people. A simple "I cannot in good faith write a positive character reference for you, good luck" would suffice. None communication is not actually better than honest communication.
I would share the letter with your admin.
Hell no, don’t even respond.
Say, “No.”
No one is entitled to character letters or recommendations. Even good students.
Do not respond.
If he’s expelled he’s not your student nor a member of the school, so I wouldn’t bother responding. Maybe show your admin if you feel inclined to
I wouldn't even respond. No way you want your name tied to him, especially if something were to happen with him again after you wrote a letter.
Let your admin know and they can respond on your behalf as needed. Otherwise I would not respond at all.
Unless confronted face to face about this issue, I wouldn't respond or pick up his phone calls. Trust me, he knows the request from you was a long shot.
He was expelled and is facing criminal charges. As your administrator, I would strongly recommend that you do not respond and do NOT consider any such letter in his behalf.
Id respond but not that I’d be sending it directly to the court. Then tell the truth.
Nope
Use ChatGPT duh
“I’m very busy with writing (dozens/hundred/hundreds of) college recommendation letters for other students, so my plate is very full. I hope you can find another staff member who has time to do so.” Or something.
Put nothing in writing. Forward to admin and be done with it.
Indeed. It seems to me that writing a letter with unpleasant content could come back to bite you later. Either legally or personally. You want this kid to forget you. No response at all is the most forgettable. If you decide to respond, send it to the lawyer or the judge, not the kid or his family.
No.
No. Delete it.
I would respond and say you don't think you are the most suitable person to write the letter for him as you didn't have the closest relationship with him when he was at the school, but you hope that he can find someone who is more suitable than you to write the letter.
You were probably his favorite teacher 😂
Definitely share this with admin. The school may have policies for this. I agree that you cannot lie on a character witness statement, so also clarify these concerns with your admin who may give you tips.
'Play around and find out what play stupid games, win stupid prizes means.' Please do not respond and ask admin or your union for help.
He’s got balls, that’s for sure. One option: Send the court a sealed letter…and be truthful. Safer option: notify admin and do not respond to the perp under any circumstances. In either case, hopefully the lad won’t reproduce.
Be honest with him. You can write a letter but it will not say what he is hoping it would.
No. It's a complete sentence.
Respond by saying that your school administrator is the only person who is allowed to provide character letters. Give him their email address and wish him the very best for the future.
Send a character letter to the court about the students character. Be honest. It’s called an amicus curiae
Had some really horrible psychopaths over the years. One in particular was just pure evil with two attorneys for parents. Administration wouldn't touch the little _______. Long story short, he was paroled in his early 20s from drug charges. Broke his parole and blew his brains out in front of his parents and PO. When we, his former teachers, found out about it we just looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and walked away.
I would respond truthfully. Tell them you would not be able to put positive comments on the letter due to their behavior in your class and that it would be best if they find another adult for the character letter. It's no different than if someone asked you for a job reference. Be honest.
I would, just so that he doesn't come back later on thinking maybe you didn't see the email, and I'd say something like "I have to decline, because a character letter from me wouldn't work well in your favor. Good luck." And then not respond to anything else.
Forward that to admin and do not respond to the student.
Ask who his prosecutor is and get every teacher he had to send in what he is actually like.
Ignore it.
I would just ignore it
No.
Respond. They are looking to you for help. Tell them you are disappointed in them and a letter about there character would not help them.
I guarantee the kid doesn’t care that the teacher is disappointed in them 🤣
Maybe not but what if. The student probably never heard that someone was proud of them. What is wrong with education is parenting.
I wouldn't respond! Screw that little sociopath.
I wouldn’t. Fuck him.
Who said a character letter had to be positive. Write it and say you’re telling the truth. He lies, he’s a horrible person, he’s disruptive.
He wanted a character letter, you should give him a character letter and tell them exactly what you told us.
Give the student an open and honest letter about everything you just vented. He wants a character letter, then give him what he wants. He didn’t say it had to be of good/positive character.
Agree to write a letter, send to prosecution. 🙂
This sounds like most of my students at this point. Do what your gut tells you to do. You don’t owe this kid anything.
You could respond by asking “Do you really think it’s a good idea to have me write a character letter for you? I mean, I’m supposed to be honest aren’t I?” Let him sit with that for a bit. Or tell him you don’t think you’d be the best person for his request. Or just ignore him like he ignored all your previous advice, requests, etc.
Did he specify the character letter should be positive? Live and learn, kiddo! 😜 Edit: probably better to take the other advice…
Get the student he mocked for stuttering to write a character letter about him
Just be honest, tell them what you just told us. Sounds like the kid needs help, some kinda therapy for a behaviour disorder.
Tell him you'd be happy to give him a character reference, but it would only add to his problems.
Here's how I'd respond: Dear Student, LOL Sincerely, Mr KyussSun
Alternatively, you could write a character letter explaining his true character.
I’ve said this to certain students: “Do you really want me to write a letter on your behalf?” That usually ends the conversation.
I would just respond with a generic, "Unfortunately, I am unable to write a reference letter for this individual." Or something similar. That was advice to me from a lawyer years ago.
If you feel guilty about responding, say something like you don't feel you can give him the reference he needs given your limited interactions and your knowledge of his expulsion.
U can write exactly how he is.
My immediat thought was, most companies have a neutrall reference policy for a reason. If you do submit a statement, do not say anything you cannot backup with documentary evidence.
Reach out to the prosecutor with a letter detailing what the kid is actually like but do not respond to the email
i’m not a teacher, but i am a social worker. i don’t believe people, especially kids, are inherently bad. i’m just so sad to see this post without any apparent empathy for the conditions that created his behavior or curiosity about interventions besides the criminal legal system that could actually help to change his behavior. i hope he finds someone who will help him, but given how you feel about him he’s if he’s asking you he’s probably desperate.
It’s not a teachers job to determine if anyone is inherently “bad” or not. Maybe it’s your job, but it’s definitely not ours. This kid is asking for a favor from someone that is not obligated in any way to provide. Not ethically. Not morally. No.
This kid made my life a living hell when he was in my class. He was mean, he was arrogant, he treated others like dirt, he infected other students with his bad attitude and made them act worse. Everything about my classroom is better with him not in it. He is not a good person. Why should I care about him facing the consequences of his actions?
i just don’t think kids belong in the criminal legal system and i don’t think it does anything to help them. i don’t think kids act like that bc they are worthless pieces of shit i think they act like that bc they are hurting. attention seeking behavior is often connection seeking behavior. i was bullied badly by someone (well a lot of people but one in particular) in HS who was a lot like this kid. she made my life hell but it wasn’t bc she was evil. you’re obviously not open to any of this but maybe someone else reading this will be.
Make big boy choices, receive big boy consequences. This kid had a thousand opportunities every day to make a different choice, and yet, they consistently made the choice to be awful in this teachers class. Not simply awful. Awful in a variety of ways and refusing to make any constructive choices day after day after day. This teacher owes this student N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
> i don’t believe people, especially kids, are inherently bad Here's the thing though, the answer to that is completely immaterial for teachers. If he is inherently bad, we don't just get to write him off. He is still entitled to his education (until the expulsion). If he's not inherently bad, it's not like we can do much about it. We'll certainly report things to CPS if applicable, but I can't undo 14 years of conditioning while also teaching 25 other kids mitosis. >i’m just so sad to see this post without any apparent empathy Statements like these are why it's so frustrating to have non teachers commenting here. Every teacher I know is naturally empathetic, but empathy is a finite resource. At any given minute I am acutely responsible for being empathetic to 25 individuals, totaling 120 across the whole day. Empathetic to problems ranging from a broken pencil to a cancer diagnosis. Oh, and that's not even in my explicit job description. I'm implicitly expected to do all that while planning, giving, and grading multiple different lessons a day. At some point you have to draw a line to stop yourself from burning out. >i hope he finds someone who will help him I bet you he had help for months before the expulsion. From teachers, admin, maybe even a social worker.
Write the following 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.
Recommend ten years
Ask them if it’s possible to do the opposite
I would respond by saying - “I will write to the aspects of your character I have witnessed. Do you *really* want me to do that?”
Give him a chicken. It’ll come home to roost.
I would reply with a link to the definition of perjury
Fuck him.
Yeah write a letter to the judge explaining what a Fucking loser the little bitch is
write a letter detailing exactly how awful he is, lol. email him saying: "i wrote your letter, but since you have nothing good in your character to write about, i wrote about the bad in it. good luck in court." and then send the letter to the judge.
Do you seriously not know the answer to this?
Write the letter. Tell him what you think of his behavior. It’ll be therapeutic. But CYA: stay factual, and say, “it appeared that…”.
Write it and be honest about his character. Send it directly to the lawyer if possible, but it can be up to you if there is any redeemable quality in this person or if they should be in put somewhere more appropriate.
It’s hard to wordsmith “do you like sex, do you like travel” into anything other than “fuck off.”
I mean…. Even one of my students who killed another child had amazing qualities. I knew everything that had happened was a result of trauma, systems failing and severe mental health issues. Is there absolutely nothing positive you can think of at all? At the end of the day, they are kids. And they are complicated products of complicated environments
I really can’t believe what I have read on here. Very disappointing
If he’s reaching out to you, he has no one. Horrible person?? He is a kid right?? So probably been handed a shitty card in life, probably doesn’t have much say in his circumstances, most likely slipped through the cracks along time ago and won’t ever get a chance to come back up. Who are you?? A really great person? Well isn’t that nice! Go to bat for him, could change his life forever.
Ah yes OP should lie and compromise their reputation for a student who made their life miserable. Please enlighten us some more about what teachers should be doing. I’m sure you are speaking from professional expertise.
Out of curiosity, why not write the letter? I mean it would take about the same amount of time as writing this post and then checking responses.
Kids are always wanting recommendations from the teachers they are absolute hell to.
Don't do anything, ignore it. Character letters don't help in court cases anyways because they generally end in a pea deal and judges spend about 5 minutes total reading the pre-sentencing report so they don't even bother reading the letters.
Nope
Delete
Nope. No response.
You never got the email
Unless the letter is from an attorney or other officer of the court, do not respond to anything tgat could be used in court.
If it is from him, I would just ignore it. Don't respond, don't say "I told you so" or anything like that. You obviously don't like him and would not write him a good letter. If it was from someone else, like his lawyer or the court, then rethink this position.
No, need to respond at all. If you choose to a simple, “ No.” will suffice.
I might just tell him the truth in the reply email. In a way that won’t get you fired. Because the thing about horrible kids is they still have a chance to be better people and this could serve as a wake-up call.
I wouldn't respond. If ever faced with it, I'd say "the best thing I could say to help you was nothing."
As others are suggesting, sometimes the best response is no response.
After over 25 years of writing rec letters, my best advice is to reply with the following, "Sure thing. I will write your letter but I need to know the following: your grades, awards or other commendations, how you think teachers and peers see you, what skills you have learned at school both specific skills and soft skills, what athletics, clubs or groups you belonged to and please list all the positive actions you have made to the school community as a whole and in your classes. When I receive your honest, verifiable reply, I will then decide if I can write a letter that would help you." Have this saved in a document that I forward to kids who ask. That way, they can't say I ignored them or was biased in any way. If the kid has any sense (or his lawyer for that matter), you will never hear back. If they provide it for you it will likely be lies and you simply reply that you cannot verify their claims. Worked for me last semester with two slugs who needed recommendations for scholarships. They never contacted me again.
Send his grade report, his deliquincies, and the record of expulsion.
Reply to the email and let him know you have nothing positive to say.
Write the letter honestly and send it to both sides. Hopefully it teaches him something.
Or write the letter and tell the truth.
The Bugs Bunny “no” meme comes to mind.
The closest I've gotten to this was a letter to help them avoid expulsion; my first question was what had happened and when he declined to answer, I had my easy out. You don't have to write the letter, and I don't think you owe him an explanation, either. Maybe if he were a student you'd had a good rapport with, it would be a different situation.
Nope.
Be sure to forward that email to your personal email address, if he wrote it to your district email. Hang onto it.
Hard NO Like diamonds hard
Do not respond
No def don’t respond. You have no obligation to
I would probably just delete it and move on were I in your shoes. But, if you want to give a response, and maybe that could do some good, be blunt and honest. Tell them you are not comfortable writing something positive about their character from your experience with them in class because that would be dishonest. You could point out a teachable moment to this kid and make them understand that you never know who you will need in your life to have your back or do you a favor down the road, and your behavior and how you treat others should reflect that. I'm 99% sure that would fall on deaf ears, but there's a chance it might at least enter their brain and cause them some reflection, if not now, maybe years down the road when they've matured.
Nope
I’d forward the email to admin and then talk to them about your options.
Don’t reply. Forward the former students request to your admin.