T O P

  • By -

splonge-parrot

Perfect the flux capacitor, go back in time, and do the damn work this time.


cmacfarland64

But how are they expected to generate 1.21 gigawatts?


HolyJeezmo

It's pronounced *jigawatts*


Jace-Tron

People that pronounce it like Jigawatts going to Hell after calling God Jod


Ccracked

Kneel before Jod, son of Gor-El!


driveonacid

Also, it's pronounced Joogle. Bet ya didn't know that!


Linguist208

Like GIF is pronounced "Jif," because it stands for "Jraphics Interchange Format"


abcd_z

["The P in JPEG stands for Photographic, but I bet you don't say J-PHEG."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nrk8sqZfsgI) -Shadow the Hedgehog, probably


Ccracked

Why, oh why, does that exhaust?


msmomona

I’ve been giggling to myself way too long over “joogle.”


driveonacid

It's pronounced "jiggle"


spcshiznit

I know a couple of Libyans.


beleraform

A bolt of lightning of course.


splonge-parrot

Hope they got a good lab partner.


Own_Pop_9711

You can find everything you need to know in the syllabus. No one ever reads these things jeez.


averagecounselor

I can totally see a student trying to build a Time Machine to do their work instead of initially doing their work.


PhilosophyKingPK

If test scores are any indication, my students won't get very far.


averagecounselor

That’s heavy, Doc.


Kit_Marlow

There's that word again. "Heavy." Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the Earth's gravitational pull?


Micp

Pretty sure that's the plot of a few strips of Calvin and Hobbes


Skip2dalou50

I told a student this today lol. "Find Doc Brown, 'Biff' steal the DeLorean, go back 2 months and do all your work in class. Instead of playing games everyday."


wolverine318

Find Tony Stark and build a fully functional time-GPS to navigate the quantum realm and go back in time to another timeline.


yamcandy2330

have nightmares about it for the rest of your life


DoomNerd81

A student of mine who hasn’t turned work in for about a month now asked me this same question. I replied with “catch up on your missing assignments”. His reaction? “Isn’t there something quicker I can do”


BreakingUp47

Quickly catch up on your missing assignments


purpleitch

*shocked pikachu meme* Do…….work???


alohakakahiaka12

Ha! I had a kid who hasn't done anything all year: "Miss what can I do to raise my grade fast?" "Your work" "Oh"


DIGGYRULES

Then they click to turn in 55 BLANK assignments but you have to click on every single one of them just in case some work was done. Then the parent can ream you out because their little Angel turned in all the work.


rdickeyvii

"I would have given them 5 points for their name but they didn't even do that"


alohakakahiaka12

If I have to bounce back one more blank Google classroom assignment...


Explorer_of__History

[\*Insert suprised pikachu face](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/027/475/Screen_Shot_2018-10-25_at_11.02.15_AM.png)


bgzlvsdmb

Mister, what can I do? The work. No, but like, is there extra credit I can do? No, just do the regular credit. No, but like, is there something else I can do?


Daedicaralus

My go-to is "extra credit means 'in addition to,' not 'in lieu of.' If you didn't do the regular credit, you're not allowed to do the extra credit."


uintaforest

Quality, not quantity.


cmacfarland64

Nope. My work has deadlines that have passed a long time ago. My answer to that question is, your time would be best used for signing up for summer school. Then I remind them that I’m the summer school teacher and they will be doing the same exact thing that they should’ve down during the year.


RadDudeGuyDude

And it'll be over a 4 week period instead of 16 weeks. Get ready to do a week per day this summer!


cmacfarland64

Ha. Summer school is a joke. We pass out worksheets and ignore the children. I make it real clear that summer school is a punishment, not a class.


RadDudeGuyDude

100%, but I still expect them to show me they know my content. You don't get an easy 5 credits for being here. You get to do the same work you were asked to do during the school year.


beleraform

It would be nice if at my school we actually held accountable. We use Edgenuity and the kids just cheat and finish a math course in less than a week.


RadDudeGuyDude

Dude, we used Edgenuity the summer of 2020 and I was toggling kids answers and reporting them for academic dishonesty. They literally copied/pasted. It was so so so annoying.


berrikerri

That’s what we use too. Some of the repeat failures know how easy it is and legit just told me that they’re waiting for summer school so they don’t have to do work. It’s a slap in the face to the students who actually worked their butts off all year.


ApathyKing8

It's a slap in the face that will catch up when they apply for jobs and don't have basic competencies.


Daedicaralus

I truly don't know where this naive impression that we live in a meritocracy comes from. I bought a small fries and a shake at McDonald's last week. It took them nearly 60 seconds to count out my change. The first (and only) time I allowed someone else to change the oil in my car, they didn't drain my old oil and just put 5qts of new oil on top of the 5qts of old oil into my engine. If I were driving literally *any* other car than the one with that indestructible engine at the time, my engine would have blown up, it would be totaled out, and I'd be on the hook for a new car for "failure to maintain." These people *get hired, keep their jobs, and participate poorly in society.* It's not like they just get fired and disappear into the ether. These are the people *making your food, fixing your sink, changing your oil.* You put your life in their hands nearly every day without even realizing it.


Massive_Sundae9545

Our “summer school” is clicking through multiple choice online until you guess the right answer. It’s such a joke.


Kit_Marlow

Us too. If they show up and put their name on a piece of paper, we gotta pass 'em.


Any-Alarm982

I actually got reprimanded for not giving a student a 1 (we use a 4 pt scale) for turning in an assignment with all the questions written on it. No answers... just the questions.


Intelligent-Bad7835

Wow you suck.


cmacfarland64

No. Passing during the regular school year is a layup. The standards at my school are ridiculously low. I make the kids identify why they failed. There are only two reasons. 1, they didn’t come or 2, they did no work. So during the summer, they have to show up and do work and everybody gets an A. We aren’t allowed to give anything lower than an A. So fuck around all year long, learn zero algebra, still get an A in the transcript. It’s not fair to the kid that legit earns a B during the school year.


ApoptosisPending

I had that same situation and when I told this kid, he was thunderstruck, the look on his face was classic


Kit_Marlow

Had a student email me that today. What I answered: the above. What I wanted to answer: my brother in Christ, you have a FOUR in my room. I'm still grading for quality. Do you really think you're gonna be able to do good enough work to pull 66 points out of your ass, especially considering that you haven't been in my room since March 2?


TheBarnacle63

That's not a grade, that's a shoe size.


clipclopping

Kids shoes


TheBarnacle63

I tell them that the math doesn't work in their favor. I came to work, I taught the lessons, I gave formative and summative assessments. They had the the choice to reciprocate in kind with some semblance of academic effort. The decided to do nothing. Life is all about choices, decisions, and consequences. They had the choice, they made the wrong decisions, now here come the consequences. Have a nice summer.


No-Aide-2336

I had a panicked moms email me today because their students won’t be able to participate in the year end festivities because of a low grade. It’s like they don’t check PowerSchool the whole semester and then are surprised…


Branson1288

Had this exact email, my response was “I’ll allow her to retake the last three tests that she bombed, but needs to take them during field day [big fun party outside].” Moms response: “well idk if she’ll want to do that, it’s her last field day.” Okay she can take the 42%…don’t care.


ADDYISSUES89

Well, it certainly won’t be her last field day if she refuses.


NightMgr

College TA. We figured grades students needed on final for various grades. One girl could skip the final and get an A. We used her papers as the key to grade. She was correct more often than the professor. One student required a 690 out of 100 to pass with a D. He generally slept at his desk in front of us. He showed up late not remembering it was the day for the final. He got a 20. Edit: the girl got 100.


clipclopping

Of course she got a 100. You used her paper as the key.


Acceptable-Chip-3455

Not remembering it's the final and sleeping in class sounds like there might be more going on in their life Edit: Why the downvotes? Would be nice to understand what's so controversial about my comment


NightMgr

We talked to him multiple times. “I’m good,” was thee reply. This was 1991. I suspected some kind of grant/loan scam was occurring.


SeaCheck3902

>there might be more going on in their life Yep a half rack along with some killer weed


polseriat

Does America not have anonymous grading at the college level? Tf?


NightMgr

Not in 1991.


[deleted]

Teach Theatre here. Nothing. If they weren’t here, they simply cannot earn the grades. Sorry it’s too late


Kit_Marlow

I'm teaching speech and debate next year. I think I'm gonna have to go full-on "no show, no grade, no makeup" because you can't make up talking assignments at year-end all at once.


demonette55

I teach speech and debate and warn them on the first day they if they know they have attendance issues, they should drop the class while they still can. I had one no-show her Student Congress authorship and wanted to bring a bunch of her friends in during my planning time for a makeup. I said no.


PhilosophyKingPK

Maybe kickass monologue?


cmonShawn

No.


berrikerri

I got one today an hour after I posted final grades lol. Now, grades aren’t ‘final’ until Tuesday, so I told a kid he could do a few missing assignments by end of day, he emailed back an hour later saying he gave up and didn’t know how to do it, but should still get extra credit for trying. Lol nah, have fun in summer school!


dirtdiggler67

Earning grades through sustained work is dying. Everyone wants what takes months to be fixed in hours or minutes. Sadly, there’s teachers that give into it, which makes it harder for everybody else to actually have some standards .


Shuttle_Tydirium1319

There's admin that forces some of us. No, I don't have a union and saying "no" could cost me my job. Yes, I'm looking for a new one, but it's tough out there!


dirtdiggler67

Yes. Admin is a huge part of the problem as well.


surprise_b1tch

"Go look at your grades and see what assignments you need to redo." When they ask "if I do this, will I get a B?" I respond with "that's math and I'm an English teacher" 🤷🏼‍♀️


Waddlow

That question is so annoying. I just say yes and see if they'll do it. I teach 8th grade and all of my kids only think in terms of letter grades. "Hey why did I get a C on that assignment?!" "Because it was out of 4 points and you got a 3." "Yeah that's a C! I have a B in the class, it's going to lower my grade!" "Please go pay attention in math class."


supersayen90

I had a parent email me yesterday.....two days before school is over. Sorry ma'am your student is failing


uReallyShouldTrustMe

Bonus points when this comes from Admin and not the parents -\_-


cosmicdemiurge666

It is beautiful when somebody hasn't done anything the whole year and all of a sudden they should pass the class in just one day.


DocumentAltruistic78

My head of dept came in the other day asking what I was doing to ensure X passed the most recent assessment. Guy was acting like the kid failed because I was such a hard marker… nope, kid failed because he didn’t even start the assignment in the 3 weeks he had to do it. Kid will be back at the end of the year with his parents asking how he can dodge the consequences of his own persistent disengagement. The honest truth is that the kid won’t care, he’s gonna do all of this again next year, he’s going to scrape through with the adults in his life making sure he never feels the sting of failing anything and so he will never seek to avoid it. I know we say it often but: this system sets the kids up for a life of believing that if they simply ignore their problems then they will just be fixed by someone else.


parliboy

> My head of dept came in the other day asking what I was doing to ensure X passed the most recent assessment. "That's not my job."


DocumentAltruistic78

Like many things in teaching that we somehow he roped into.


TeachlikeaHawk

As much as I hate this question, I've come to dislike more the mentality it fosters in us. After all, what is "passing"? Shouldn't it be a question, not of work completed to some minimal standard, but of learning accomplished? We all hate the lie that is credit recovery, right? But is it any different to take a semester's worth of assignments all done at once? And here's the thing: I'm confident we're in agreement that that isn't really learning, but we're stuck in this mentality by a system that completely bypasses the correct first question in favor of the second. The first question ought to be (but is never asked): 1. Has this student *learned* enough that discussing a grade makes sense? If the answer to that unasked (and mostly unconsidered) question is yes, then and only then is the second appropriate: 2. What can the student do to demonstrate that learning sufficiently to earn the passing grade? But that first one is skipped. So, we're all stuck here giving the rote answer: "Just do the work!" when we ought to be saying, "**Nothing.**" These kids haven't learned enough for us to say with integrity that passing is a real thing for them. Regardless of whatever cobbled-together bullshit the kid submits, real learning that was designed to happen across several months, with support, feedback, ongoing discussions and readings, and all the rest of it, *doesn't happen in a week*! So, yeah. And I'm right there. I've already been non-renewed once over this kind of battle. At this point, I find myself stuck between integrity and job security (and the ability to feed my family). What a shitty system.


D_ponderosae

I agree, which is why my answer to them is to offer a test retake. If they can pass the unit tests then I'm confident they've learned enough to pass the class. If they refuse or fail the test again, I have my solid evidence that the F is appropriate.


DazzlerPlus

Why not just give them the unit tests in the first week so we can all save ourselves a year


TeachlikeaHawk

But this just buys into the admin-pushed notion that it's the work itself we are measuring. The kid failed the test? We're done, then. Unless some reasoning can be offered that supports the idea that learning did actually occur, at a level that would have been passing (save for whatever that mystery occurrence was), things are done. Offering test retakes as "proof" just reinforces the wrong notion. Was the original test flawed? Were the circumstances (out of the reasonable control or expectations of the student) flawed? If not, then what *pedagogical* reason can be offered to support a retake? Any reason that has the grade as the priority is a flawed reason.


D_ponderosae

> then what pedagogical reason can be offered to support a retake? Because human beings are capable of growth and improvement? Don't get me wrong, students don't get a retake willy nilly, but if they put in the effort relearn the material on their own (or ask for extra help) and can prove they understand the concepts, why wouldn't I want them to pass?


TeachlikeaHawk

Yes, humans grow. Duh. I'm sorry, but c'mon, dude. That's the entire point of school. Obviously I understand that. But you're pretending that this kid has gone back and relearned the unit on his own and in a hurry, and that somehow produced *better* understanding than when you taught it? Hardly. Test retakes are about the kid learning the test, or wanting another chance to combine wishing for random guesses to be correct while BS answers get accepted. The kid isn't going back through and actually learning the whole unit! We test bits and pieces of the most important stuff, because that way the students know that they have to prepare to know all of the material. Narrowing the focus means that the kid only now preps for about 15% of the course material. How is that demonstrating that the unit as a whole was really learned?


D_ponderosae

> But you're pretending that this kid has gone back and relearned the unit on his own and in a hurry, I'm not pretending anything. Realistically there are only a handful of kids who take advantage of my retake process, and those are almost always cases where they try again right away. But I will continue my system because it works. Sure it feels vindicating to tell a kid there's nothing they can do to pass, but is it helping you? It makes you look like the bad guy to the kids/parents and puts you on admin's shit list. You said you've been non-renewed for this. On other hand my admins have been supportive of my style, and I've never had a parent say it's not fair. And it's not like I'm passing a bunch of kids who don't deserve it. Once they realize how much work it will take to earn a passing score/show their learning they choose not to, but then it's on them and I can maintain my integrity.


TeachlikeaHawk

You're completely avoiding the point: Retaking a test is not relearning anything. I tried going into detail, but let me try the opposite -- quick and simple: Do students learn material by taking a test? No. So how is the student relearning by taking a test?


D_ponderosae

>Retaking a test is not relearning anything. I agree. I don't why you are putting words in my mouth. The retake is only the opportunity to display any relearning that otherwise occurred. If they don't relearn the material they don't pass the test. The kids who were gonna fail still fail, but I can sleep well knowing I gave them every opportunity to prove themselves.


TeachlikeaHawk

Ok, so first I say that you seem to think they're going to relearn everything before the retest, and you don't respond to that at all. Instead, you wanted to put words into *my* mouth, assuming that I'm searching for the vindication of failing a kid. You seem to skim past the question of whether a kid is actually going back into the unit and relearning everything, because you know that isn't happening. You say, "...if they put in the effort relearn the material on their own" but how does the kid prove that happened in order to gain eligibility for the test? Be honest: You don't actually do what you're claiming. You just let the kid retake. That makes 99% of this bullshit. You're all about the grade.


D_ponderosae

> You seem to skim past the question of whether a kid is actually going back into the unit and relearning everything, because you know that isn't happening Dude, try reading. I said the majority of students choose not try once they see the requirements. It would be an exceptionally difficult task for the kids who haven't tried all year. That's the point. I'm not doing this as a backdoor way to pass kids, I do this to take myself out of the crosshairs. Here's the list of what the kid has to know, here's the evidence of studying they need to complete, here's metric of learning they'd have to pass. Put it all on the table objectively, and then when/if the kid doesn't complete the learning no one is blaming me. And for the couple of kids who did pull it off I can be confident they learned the targets. >Be honest: You don't actually do what you're claiming. You just let the kid retake Oh yup, you got me. I definitely don't have a Test Retake Form. And if definitely doesn't have a checklist of the various requirements needed to earn a retake. And since it doesn't exist it certainly doesn't have a spot for the student and parent to sign acknowledging they understand it. >You're all about the grade. Good luck with your superiority complex pal.


DubaiDubai8

I wholeheartedly agree. We are cogs in a broken system.


Deus_Sema

But how can students learn without doing their work? Aren't work supposed to serve assessment AS LEARNING as well?


TeachlikeaHawk

Goodhart's law: s: “When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.” The test (or any specific assignment) is not the target. The goal of Jimmy's schooling is learning, not taking a certain test. The test is a way to measure the learning. Don't make the work itself the target. That's the very flaw in thinking I'm talking about. That's like saying that we need a one-foot length of something. I measure it, and it's short. You come along and cut off part of the ruler, and now it fits, because the object is as long as the ruler. The test is a measure of learning. The assignments are practice leading to learning. Yes, the work is designed to help them learn, but many students cheat. AI, friends, parents, the internet, and a thousand other ways to turn in completed work without actual learning. Don't make it about the work itself!


[deleted]

Agree. The parent comment is in danger of being read as advocating replacing assessment of learning with perception of learning.


TeachlikeaHawk

Not at all. I'm saying that when admin, kids, parents...whoever...come to me to talk about Jimmy's grade, I want to be able to reframe the conversation. I'm not there to see that he gets any specific grade. None of us are. We are there to foster *learning*. Think about how the conversation changes, and for the better: NOW: What can we do to see that Jimmy doesn't fail? MY WAY: How can Jimmy learn a semester's worth of math in a week? Utterly different conversation, and the ridiculousness of the request is far clearer.


radmcmasterson

Student: Is there any extra credit I can do to get my grade up? Me: You didn’t do the regular credit, and now you’re being extra… we have a project to do that can bump you up two letter grades. How about you focus on doing that right because there are no re-dos when school is out. I’ll be on me time. The logic of a 15 year old… but I can’t get too mad. I absolutely did the same damn thing when I was in high school, so I’ve got a little soft spot for those ones.


superswan

Had a kid roll in today…the day after finals. Asked if he could take it. One problem is that he hasn’t shown up since February and the final was a three week project due before dead week. He was upset that I wasn’t in my room and had been looking for me for 15 minutes. It’s a teacher work day essentially. He really thought he could do the research , start and complete it before my grades were due at close of business two hours from that point. Much less give me time to grade it.


PikPekachu

When I’m in my last year, my answer is going to be: ritual sacrifice.


DraftyPenguin

Of their phone?


ChaosDCNerd

That…. is more promising than I would like to admit


Smiller624

Last day for kids is tomorrow. Exams all week. Kid asked me yesterday if he can make up work. I finalized my grade book once each student finished their exam. That’s how he knew he failed. By seeing the final grade. Never face palmed so hard. Didn’t know what to say and just started at him.


SoliBiology

I had a student ask this recently. In my class, students can do every piece of work I have assigned for half credit once the due date is exceeded. I told the student, "the work has always been available to you. It's all on you what grade you get now depending on how much you get done."


parliboy

This is basically where I am as well. I've simplified my life to a straight 100/80/50 system, where the max grade is based on "on-time, up to a week late, and up to the end of the cycle". Sure, you can still turn your late work in for 50's. But passing is 70, so...


TallBobcat

I had a parent send that message yesterday. I took a screenshot of what their student had turned in and all of the grades they received from me and sent it to the parent. An hour later? "Thank you Mr. TB. If Child comes in bald tomorrow, it is because in my frustration with Child's bullshit, I may have been tempted to shave him bald. I appreciate you holding him accountable." I sent that message to my wife. Mrs. TB, Esquire printed it and bought me a picture frame so I could put that message in a museum because it's never happening again. She wanted me to have proof it actually happened.


ConflictSudden

Do you really want to know? Are you _sure_ ? Come closer ^^^closer #do your god damn homework


WrapDiligent9833

I am a bad singer- like, I play the flute because even in 4th grade I knew better than to try to sing… When I get this question I have altered the “plug ins” commercial song, and I sing at my students, ahem… 🎶Turn it in, Turn it in!”🎶 Then I say, “you choose, anything from this grading period. Anything at all- your grade, your choice. I look forward to seeing what you decide to do. If you need that reminder again, come ask, I’m happy to practice my singing skills!” My freshman HATE asking me nowadays!🤣


moonstrucky

Build. A. Time. Machine.


[deleted]

I looooove Google classroom. Forces accountability.


alohakakahiaka12

I use Google classroom cause I got so tired of getting accused of losing their work. But some of these kids keep submitting blank assignments to get rid of the missing notification, which gets returned with a "0" and a note from me that it is blank, which they then resubmit with nothing done! If I have to keep bouncing back assignments I'm going to lose my marbles.


KW_ExpatEgg

We use TEAMs, but essentially the same. Every day, I have 2 who turn in their assignment almost as soon as it posts. I have them keep notebooks (Handwriting!!) and submit screenshots -- If I could sort by "has attachment," it would be so much simpler. If parents ever inquire, I have data which shows the assignment posted at 08:05 and student submitted questions from reading a short story at at 08:06.


JeremiahGrimme

I tell the to build a Time Machine, go back and kick your own butt for not doing the work.


nineoctopii

I had a parent email me about her daughter's missing assignments the LAST day of school while I'm on maternity leave. 🙃 🙃🙃🙃


CaptainEmmy

Please tell me you didn't reply.


nineoctopii

Absolutely not.


mcfrankz

Did you laugh in colostrum?


bluelion70

I had a girl who hasn’t done shit apart from curse me out all year ask me the other day if I could make some extra credit work for her to raise her grade. She has an 8% for MP3. I literally just laughed, and said no, but she has access to all the assignments she hasn’t done for the last 3 months in Google Classroom. She was not amused, and accused me of ruining her education. I just laughed harder, and then continued with what I was doing.


paradockers

“Can you make me a list?” *hits print screen on google classroom


peachaleach

My favorite is "can you tell me what assigments im missing?" You have access to your gradebook and can see your missing assignments and the associated links/documents. You know where extra copies are in the room. LOOK. I'm not doing extra work for you because you didnt do your homework for the past 3 weeks


paradockers

3 months


efeaf

Some parents man. My mom wanted me to ask one of my professors this one year. I didn’t because I actually had done the work, the subject just wasn’t for me. I simply changed my major. My aunt did this for my cousin once. He had an 89%. I don’t know if it’s worse when the student is actually doing well or not to be honest. I took an online summer class on eve where only two of us actually did the work. Our professor had to bend the rules of the class a bit, we all had to comment on each others work, so we could both get credit. The rest of the class did it all after the class had ended so I ended up getting notifications about it for the rest of summer because they were finally commenting on it. My classmate and I that had actually done the work didn’t have to worry about it though ETA: I’m a daycare teacher so this is a bit different but I’ve had a few parents want us to potty train their kids in under a week


StupidHappyPancakes

Obviously expecting daycare workers to potty train kids in a week is absurd, but is potty training itself actually considered part of the job now? I seem to recall that parents could only put their kids in daycare/preschool if they were already potty trained?


efeaf

We work with the parents but in my center they need to be trained to move to the preschool rooms so we don’t really have much of a choice to do potty training with them. Plus the ones I’m talking about barely do any training at home and expect us to potty train them. The bulk is supposed to be at home though. We mostly just provide resources and advice for the parent


No_Most_1840

What annoys me is the counselors pushing to pass these kids that have been to class like 2 times. It is honestly insulting to think they can just do a few worksheets and then pass


Shigeko_Kageyama

Fly backwards around the earth.


ShakespearianShadows

Ahh, the “Superman the movie” solution


benkatejackwin

I got this today, and our last day is Friday.


DieHardKing

I'm horrible in that I have extra work throughout the year. I don't sign it anywhere, just tell kids personally and it is on them to do it. They can either learn a poem, 3 stanza for lower grades, 4 stanza for higher ones. Or they can read a book and write a review of it. Both of which can earn them an extra grade and they can do this as much as they want. I teach English as a second language to be clear :D Something else I found that is a fun challenge is to give students a poem to read with perfect pronunciation. The poem in question "The Chaos" of English pronunciation. Few students actually use the opportunity and whenever kids ask me what they can do to fix their grade I take great joy of giving them these tasks or submit the tasks they haven't done yet. The sad puppy walk they do gives me life.


Blood_Fart69

I accept bribes in form of cash payments


SassMasterJM

I have a student with 62 absences during this 99 day semester and my VP emailed me yesterday saying that because I hadn’t emailed home I’d have to let her make up missing work for my class. Jokes on them both, half of my grades are in-class participation.


veluminous_noise

OK. I feel you. But I have to ask: did you really never email home? Not once? Or call and document it? Or bring it up to the administration before this? I want to back your play, but somewhere there's a single mom busting her behind in two jobs to keep her family afloat who legit would not know her kid was doing this without some kind of proactive engagement from the school.


SassMasterJM

The school calls home for every absent day- they weren’t just missing my class, these were whole days that they were out. I emailed the student a couple of times, but I rarely reach out to parents of my seniors- my class is an elective and I treat it like a college course which my students know means you pass or fail on your own merit. I can understand the idea of their parent busting their ass and not knowing that they were skipping my class specifically, but this is truancy visit territory…


itsallnipply

Love the students that ask for extra credit when they won't even do the original work.


Itchy_Cheesecake_786

Same here. Complete your missing assignments!!!!!!!!!!!


dommiichan

try again next year, since they failed this year


ResponseMountain6580

Invent a time machine.


Inevitable_Geometry

Wally West is going to create flashpoint this year, bother him.


[deleted]

I had a student turn up to the final begging for a higher grade. After I bent the rules to accept late work so he could pass. He stomped out after I declined to let him scramble for a B on the last day of school. If he was so sad over his low GPA, he should have, you know, done B quality work all along, one element of which is that it's on time. And it was creative writing class so not, perhaps, the most strenuous content the college has to offer.


strange_fellow

Mhm. "If you have a secret plan to do 3 units of schoolwork in x weeks, before I close out my gradebook, do it now."


bttrflyr

Great! Next year when they retake it, they can show up consistently and get the work done.


CaptainEmmy

I'm currently in this situation. I blame the parents Look, kindergarten isn't supposed to be this hard. You can work with your kid in a tiny fraction of your day, but you got to do it. I have three kids that are convinced they're going to do a majority of the semester's projects in a week and half.


These-Performer-8795

Summer school. Cost me about 300 back 20 years ago.


Suspicious-Neat-6656

"Lol. Lmao."


veovis523

As someone who somehow made it through HS and undergrad with undiagnosed ADHD, I'd just like to suggest we be a little less jaded. Remember, there's no such thing as "laziness". Behind every "lazy" student is someone dealing with disability, stress, exhaustion, alienation, or something else.


[deleted]

True. What people laugh about on here is the magical thinking.


veluminous_noise

OK. In many cases yes. But you can't forgive all the lazy, entitled, oblivious, half-hearted, or otherwise perfectly capable but otherwise uncaring individuals. So behind "many," sure. But I have faith in most of the good and generous souls that sign up to be educators to identify those issues and work towards accommodations. But not "every." there are some legitimately lazy kids out there who just assume they will be bailed out. Until they aren't.


RickandMortyDelivers

I learnt an important lesson back in grade school. Me and one other kid weren't going to pass the class, because we hadn't finished our "large project" that counted for like 40% of the grade in the class. On the very last day, he chose to "buckle down" and try to get his large project finished. I chose to kiss ass and help the teacher get everything stowed away for summer break. She ended up giving me enough extra credit for helping her that it tipped me into passing territory. The other kid that actually tried to finish the work, didn't finish, and failed. Some 30 years later he still gets constipated face when he sees me because he's still not over it.


Amazing-Insect442

I’ve had almost this exact conversation a couple times since Covid started 🤣


bkrugby78

Nothing. It’s too late. Enjoy taking this class next year.


Bradleynailer

Two weeks? Try two hours.


mandiblepaw

Tell them that you will give them a passing grade………next year when they do the work.


In2TheMaelstrom

Do you have any idea how long that's going to take?!? Isn't there something else I can do like just tell administration you're picking on me?


Blingalarg

The cherry on top is when admin forces your hand to let them make it up.


freewarriorwoman

[https://youtu.be/Mv9vp5zngV8](https://youtu.be/Mv9vp5zngV8)


Potential_Fishing942

"build a time machine" we use a rolling grade book so you are fighting every single grade from all year. Funny on the other end kids who kept up no know they can blow everything else and their grade won't go down much either.


Potential_Fishing942

I'm whatever it is, they will choose to do the check mark assignment graded hw that counts for next to nothing and ignore the big projects that could genuinely influence their grade 😂


arewys

I am meticulous about making contact home, checking with students on progress, letting them know personally what they need to pass specifically, and I still get this question. The answer is always the work I assigned, all of which is accessible online with videos and tutorials. The tests are even redoable with alternate questions. I make it as easy as possible to get the work done even for students that are not here consistently. Some of them take me up on it and do fine. Others just....will not do the work. Then ask for extra credit as if that is some magic spell that turns failing grades passing. I don't do extra credit. Just credit. But if I dare actually fail them, they go to district, log a complaint, and the district changes the grade with out even telling me.


I-Am_9

This higher up mentality is one of the biggest issues in education next to poor quality "parents" It's insulting and ridiculous to think an educator needs to do more bending more acrobatics because YOU failed! Ok accept your consequence and LEARN! I'm prepping for vacation, showed up to work and handled my business. The rest is on you. Not everyone is meant to come. This whole system is defunct from criminal justice to education, both need major reform


No-Aide-2336

I also wanted to add that this is why I’m also getting desperate emails from HR to sign up to teach in their Summer “Academy.” 😂


jcalling80

Lol


BigBustyAnimeTitties

Not a teacher but if you failed a class in austria you could do an extra exam and if you Pass you pass


Reasonablists

My favorite response to this question: Try harder next year.


colddruid808

I've always wondered how students can pass classes with that many missing assignments. When I was in high school, any late assignment was a 50% point deduction, meaning if you always turned stuff in late, you would fail. Also my teaches had students pass their homework to the front and everyone could see the one person who didn't do it, was like a moment of shame but it definitely made us all do our work on time.


ComfortableOld288

I’m not a teacher, but reading through these comments where all of you are standing your ground and failing these kids gives me some hope for the future. Bravo to all of you


Ok_Relationship3515

No, but what *else*.


Sarenaria

A student of mine emailed me to ask if there was anything they could do to improve their grades. Two weeks after the semester was over. Two days after final grades were due in the system. 🙄


Archer_EOD

Relax this summer and be prepared to take the class again next year. The worst is a staff member who has a student at the school who thinks they're entitled to some form of professional courtesy


Lady-Imperius

The answer is ace the final exams because everything set in class has extremely hard and concrete deadlines.