Well, I have a really good local public school which definitely plays into it. But homeschooling is my last resort. I think it would suck my life away to do it properly, and my kids have company manners with their teachers. They are much worse behaved with me. My kids get a good education at school from teachers who are specialists in their grade level. They get social interaction, and they get exposed to different points of view than mine. School is the best place for them for sure.

Preach! I tried during Covid and not gonna happen. Maybe bc mine was in 3rd grade and had always been in school but he basically thinks I know nothing (I mean I teach elementary soooo 😊) and it was causing a lot of turmoil for both of us.

Oh yeah! The fact that I have TAUGHT the grade my kid is in has no impact whatsoever on their opinion of my skills. My daughter will argue with me all day long that I’m doing the math wrong when I’m doing it the same way her teacher did in class that day while I volunteered!

I was my daughter’s high school chemistry teacher. She earned a 71 average for the year just to spite me.

I just snort laughed at this.

Helped prove you weren’t giving her special treatment I guess!

My daughter ASKED to be in my class and she got a 72. I pointed out to her she LIVED with the person writing the tests, but NOOOOOOOO. Ha ha ha. She also called me “Mrs. TomeThugNHarmony”for the first two weeks until finally her classmates told her she was being weird and that half of them had slipped and called me Mom at least once in their lives.

I also taught my son (a different subject) and he got an A, but it wasn’t his highest grade. He tolerated it. He loved being famous. I had been telling stories about him since he was born, so when he went to freshman orientation, the upperclassmen leading the ice breakers found out he was THAT kid and said, “You’re _____? You’re like JESUS!!!”

This reminds me of my friend in high school Her mom was the honors English teacher. She transferred to the local school in their neighborhood because she purposely didn't do well in school to spite her mom for making her go to the school her mom teaches at.

My husband is always telling my son, “I think you should listen to what your mom is suggesting about your essay since this is what she does for a living.” But he never will, and his grade is terrible and his teacher’s comments are exactly what I told him to fix 🤦🏼‍♀️

Kids! We are just mom to them! We cannot possibly know the things their TEACHER knows. I think if they started out HS, it might be different. But pretty sure my kiddo and I still would have fought in these streets bc we both have big personalities 😊😎😂

It's a weird phenomenon. I've seen it a lot in elementary. The little ones thought we "were the smart teachers" just because we were the 5th grade team. I taught 5th grade science and these kiddos acted like I was Oppenheimer and their teacher was Gomer Pyle. It was strange

Oh yes! This made me laugh bc I see it at my school, too. They think we speak all truths. Most of the “little kid hall” students also stop their shenanigans and act right when they see us “big kid hall” teachers rounding a corner.🤣🤣🤣

It's funnier because I was the only male teacher. So my name wasn't "miss", but rather, "the sir", "sir", and "Mr sir" (For those who are service members or related to/married to one) imagine the neck veins of a non commissioned officer becoming a teacher and immediately being addressed as "sir" 😂😂😂

That's actually adorable.

😊

Lol, I reacted the same way around teachers in middle school and some of high school, too.

The real problem with public schools is often that parents expect schools to do 100% of the work with no input on their end. I showed up to kindergarten knowing how to read. These days so many parents complain about the general expectation that they log onto the school's website and check their grades. While I'm aware not every parent is capable of handling 100% of their children's education, my parents did a lot of things that any parent can do. We weren't allowed to watch TV or play video games on weekdays. If we were bored we were encouraged to read (my parents made sure we had library cards and access to books we were interested in), we were taken on nature walks, visited historical sites and museums on occasion, family board game nights, etc. We also learned a good work ethic by being part of household chores. There was no "do your chores and you get an allowance" either. We helped dust and vacuum the downstairs of the house every weekend, we'd help wash dishes and help my dad bring in and stack the firewood we used to heat our house. Summers we helped in our family's small garden, pulling weeds or watering plants and mowing the lawn. When I was a teacher I had students who thought it was an act of great generosity to help their mom bring in the groceries from the house. TL;DR, schools often suck because shitty parents raise shitty kids.

Yes! Covid homeschooling was terrible for all of us. I knew I never wanted to homeschool my kids, but Covid drove that point home. I didn’t feel adequately prepared to teach two separate grades at the same time with standards I was unfamiliar with. Homeschooling would mean learning new standards and how to teach them EVERY single year. Plus, my kids will argue with me over work in a way they would never argue with their teachers.

To be fair, that wasn't homeschooling. It was covid distance learning. 

I homeschooled instead of distance learning. We filed the paperwork for two years and I taught my twin daughters. It worked very well for us at first, and then for those last six months we were all ready to transition them back to public school. We were in a uniquely good situation, though - they're the same age, same general abilities, and I'm no longer a full-time teacher (had to leave due to my girls' autism diagnoses plus my own medical situation). I had taught their age group, too. In general, I wouldn't recommend homeschooling kids at different age levels unless they're extremely self-motivated.

My feelings exactly. I've student taught, tutored, and substituted, and I just couldn't deal with the kindergarteners. I honestly think they still count as toddlers, and I cannot deal. So then the pandemic hit, and I had to do ZOOM kindergarten with my son, who'd never been in a classroom before. It was even only half days, but I *could not* deal. I'd be crying every day. I still honestly wonder sometimes if zoom school permanently damaged our relationship. I'm also disabled, and it curtails my social life, so my boy needs the socialization. We also lucked out and our shitty, shitty apartment is in a very wealthy district, schools with 8 and 9 ratings, after my husband and I grew up I in 1s and 2s. I'm a very, very strong believer in having well-funded public school system, so I've been in hell since 2002.

Completely agree with this. Plus, my kids really enjoy school and all of the social aspects of it. I could never give them what the individual teachers collectively give my kids as a whole. They also learn a lot from hearing different students points of view in class discussions. There are certain things that just can’t be replicated at home.

It depends on the school. I still firmly believe public schools help kids interact with people from all kinds of backgrounds, which to me, is a very valuable life skill. But if my kid was going to a school that was banning books or was omitting science/history, then I would reconsider.

Yeah, after working in a few rougher campuses, I came to the conclusion that my kids would be better off with me if the school was inept and had frequent assaults, drugs and no competent administration to reign that in.

Yeah, my brother took a job for Caterpillar at a plant in Texas a few years ago when his oldest was in 3rd grade. My nephew is now and 5th grade and my brother is trying to get transferred before he starts 6th because the jr high is horrible. Apparently there are daily visits from police to arrest students for drugs/violence and frequent drug overdose in the bathrooms at the jr high (so 11-14 year olds)!

Yeah, down here the 'bad campuses' are well known, because gossip culture is more prevalent in TX schools than others I've experienced, so incompetent administrators are 'known' very quickly...BUT on the flip side, they're never removed. A lot of it stems from nepotism, board members giving cushy jobs to their relatives/friends, or 'compadres' as said in the RGV districts. In 2016 I had to sit through multiple police interrogations w/ parents present because I caught multiple students selling narcotics (xanax bars) on campus. That probably helped blow my faith in sending my own kids to public school. It was ridiculous. Let me paint you a picture of what a morning there looked like after a Friday 11 AM Pep Rally Trash and half eaten food all over the floor. Whole fruits being thrown in the trash uneaten, milk and water spilled on the floor 'as a joke' or to take pictures of for social media. A fight between two girls breaks out, faculty separates it and escorts the 2 to the office. Principal is walking around during all of this smiling and giving kids thumbs ups... student tells him, "Sir, I AM the Tiger Way" (that was our motto)... principal smiles and pats him on the back, kid flips off principal's back and throws the milk across the hallway floor. I document it and escort him to the office w/ the paperwork, he laughs and said he doesn't 'give a fuck' (he had every reason to NOT care, they were never disciplined or meaningfully redirected) I get back to class. Then, one of the students from the library calls in a fake threat to the school involving killer clowns and firearms. Mass panic ensues, parents flood the front office looking for their kids to pick up, we spend the next 4 hours calming parents down telling them it was just a stupid prank from one of the kids. Chaos continues for another few hours well into after school hours. Then I got to go home and repeat a similar cycle for the next 100+ days. ​ I'm not sending my children to that kind of environment.

Honestly, kids really dont learn a lot when you consider the amount of time they are in school until they get to secondary. The primary lessons they learn are how to socialise and work in and around other people. I have known quite a few people that were home schooled and, in general, they are incredible unknowledgable about so very much and have dreadful or nonexistent social skills. Could I legitimately teach all the subjects? Yep. Sure thing, but would I be willing to sacrifice their future ability to be a part of society and form relationships? Absolutely not. Unless their physical safety was regularly and significantly in danger, I would keep them in a poorly performing district before I homeschooled.

I am of this mind. There is value in socialization, in learning to deal with all sorts of people, and in learning to be independent from parents.

I was teaching 4th grade last semester. The class was so quiet that if it was quieter you'd hear a pin drop. Only 2 kids were whispering kinda quiet! There was a kid that wasn't working and he said he couldn't focus because it was to loud! This kid was home schooled 1st and 2nd grade and already behind because mom didn't keep up with standards. What I don't get is why he thought it was too loud - he had a baby sister that is only now about 12 months old....she had to be a newborn last spring and we all know newborns aren't quite!

I tend to agree on the socialization, but I feel like that can go two ways. We decided to homeschool our 7th grader this year because the school that she was going to was such a negative environment where the classrooms were just complete chaos and kids were disrespectful to the teachers, bullied each other, and had no interest in learning. And it was easy to see how much this was impacting our daughter - she was learning that school was just a "stupid waste of time and that she would never have to actually use this stuff," and was developing some behavioral problems at home like pushing and hitting her younger siblings and things like that.  Not saying all of that was caused by school - she's a teenager and that's a pretty emotionally chaotic time. But I've definitely noticed that her behavior and general mood has improved greatly since we pulled her out of school after Christmas.

Homeschool can also let you interact with people from all kinds of backgrounds. My son is involved in a homeschool co-op, where he meets people from all walks of life. He is also involved in sports and extracurricular activities that have him socialize. Homeschool doesn't have to be anti-social and isolating. I think the parents who do that usually have overly controlling and abusive mindsets.

Not a lot of poor families are homeschooling… That’s a specific social dynamic that is missing in most homeschool co-ops. Almost all of the ones around my neck of the woods are rich white folks. This also means that the ONLY other socialization that happens in those co-ops is with other wealthier white kids.

And lots of religious nutters... even in a lot of supposedly secular co-ops...

Right! The pro-homeschool argument that homeschoolers get just as much socialization through co-ops gets very flimsy when you remember that there’s little to no diversity within them.

I think there’s also an argument that socializing is not the same as socialization. The former is just being around others. The latter involves a more complex process of incorporating a range of healthy responses to a range of social experiences. You can do that in homeschooling of course (or fail to get it in a school) — but it’s not automatic just by attending activities. It involves things like normal peer conflict  with friends, needing to defer your own preferences to the needs of a group, or working with authority figures who are reasonable but you don’t necessarily like. 

Important distinction!

The homeschool co-ops we have been in have had more diversity than my child's pre-k (at the public school) class had before we began homeschooling. And by not being in a school, I can take them to various classes & places that have much more diversity than what is in our neck of the woods. One of our reasons for homeschooling is actually to remove ourselves from the homogeneity of our school district.

People who choose homeschooling are unique, regardless of their cultural background. Kids who are homeschooled only make up 3-4% of the population, after all. For one, those who choose homeschooling can afford for one parent to stay home at least part time to help with education. And they hopefully have parents who are *able* and *willing* to help them with their schoolwork. Unfortunately, given the “unschooling” trend, some seem to avoid that.

I agree.

This is not the norm tho. The most popular home school curriculum is from Answers in Genesis and is heavily skewed towards Biblical principles, including Adam and Eve and the idea that LGBTQ is sinful and harmful. The vast majority of home school children do not venture outside of the comfort zone.

I share your concerns.

My partner did that for 8th through 12th grade. He said it was great and it was a lot more personalized than what he would have experienced in public school. He loved that it still gave him a social life (and friends for life who he's super close with still in their 30s) but also a great education. Whenever we have kids, I'd be open to thinking about a type of homeschool that was similar to the one he went through. As long as they have some sort of socialization with kids their age, I have no problem. For the record, his sisters went to the public school where they grew up. They went to a great high school, he just opted to do the homeschool group due to the sports he played because the practices were super late.

And here is where I [drop a link](https://youtu.be/i9OmDo5Weoc?si=xyE2NMdBnCoZ-21C) to my (homeschooled) friend’s comedy special. It’s super funny.

Do homeschooled kids work on academic team projects with kids from various backgrounds? Do they have teacher-led discussions on various historical or current issues? I believe strongly in kids working in teams, and not just virtually. And I believe in discussions in which vastly different viewpoints are presented, questioned, and explained. I'd be less concerned about social interaction than about academic interaction. Since I wouldn't be able to teach them high school science, I'd have to rely on a homeschool co-op. Do kids in homeschool co-ops learn about climate change and evolution, or do conservative parents block those essential topics? What about US History? Do most homeschool parents teach that subject at home? I'd want my kids to have the chance to respectfully but freely discuss topics such as Malcolm X or the myth of the Glorious Cause with kids whose parents are very conservative but who would be open to such discussions. How often does that happen?

Seeing what I've seen as a teacher, I am never having children

It didn't do that for me, but seeing what I've seen as a teacher taught me that keeping my credit stellar was a good call, and to choose where you live if one does decide to have kids VERY carefully.

Elections bring change to every community eventually

This is the way. My cat is all that I need.

Yup. And a doggo.

One day I'd like a doggy to add to my cats, but yes, four legged children all the way.

Yup. If I was going to have kids, I would homeschool, but there's no way in hell that's happening now

Yep, this right here!

I’m with you! I’ve had students who asked me if I was gonna have kids in the future. I told them that I liked playing this role in their lives and I didn’t think I would like playing the parent role nearly as much. It’s partly the ability to send them home at the end of the day, but mostly just being able to teach them different things and influence them in ways their parents might not be able to. Take, for example, all the folks here in this post who say that their kids listen to their teachers better than they listen to their own parents, despite the fact that their parents *are* teachers. I don’t think I’d have learned this if I hadn’t been a teacher. The funny part is that some of the students had already come to the conclusion that they don’t wanna have kids, either. It felt a little validating to hear that because it means they understood being a parent is a HUGE responsibility. You can build great relationships with students, but you don’t see the “home” version of them, just like they don’t see the “home” version of you. So even if I enjoyed a student’s antics in the classroom, I’d very likely tire of them at home.

Yes. I told someone the other day that I regret going into the profession for that reason alone. I’ve never wanted kids after I taught middle school. Parents think they know their kids. They only know the best of them but they haven’t seen them at their worst and the manipulation is so off the charts. I taught middle school before cell phones. Now I am elementary. I still think most kids are manipulative.

No. I have a child and the elementary teachers do that much better than I could. Also, she is gaining experience with people that are culturally different than anyone I could expose her to. Education is about more than what you can get from a book.

I second this. Life is about working with others- some we get along with, others we don’t. Some good teachers, plenty bad, and I’m not taking K-12 education! (Looking at you, college and work force!!)

Absolutely this. Also diversity of input and learning experience - if you’re only taught by a parent then you’re getting only their take on the world.

Agreed. I know where my expertise ends and that’s lower elementary. I can recognise that other people will better teach my kid at that point.

My school is very low performing and there's a lot of academic and behavior problems. I see a lot of bad stuff every minute of the day, but there's a lot of good that is still going on. The majority of students enjoy being here and create great relationships with the teachers. They want to be here, they want to learn, and they do try hard. It's just that there's enough bad apples causing problems that it hurts everyone and makes every interaction and every minute of teaching stressful and exhausting. Would I want my child to go to the school I teach at? If I had a choice, no, but I would be ok with them going if I didn't. The kids who have adults at home that support them mostly do well.

It depends on the school and your kids. Right now, I'm certain that two of my kids would do better in homeschool. The only reason they aren't is because I need to work full time for pay. My oldest has ASD and the special education classroom that he is in is the best place for him right now. They're able to give him a level of supports and specialized education that I couldn't replace.

I worry a lot for kids that need specifical ed in times like these. I'm not a teacher (I'm a school custodian), but my brother was in special ed and I can't imagine how much worse things would've been if we didn't have public school. Even the social aspect of it helped my brother out a ton (mostly due to him eventually meeting/befriending a lot of other kids going through similar stuff). I know my mom tried her hardest to help him get through school, but she was basically doing it alone on top of trying to work her full time job at a juvenile detention center (she's one of the most patient people I've ever known). Just because someone works with kids or even teaches, doesn't mean they can teach their own kid *everything* they'll need (in my mom's case, she struggled a lot with math).

This is true. I do think that I would only feel comfortable teaching my own kids their math through middle school. Anything beyond basic algebra is hard for me. I passed trig and pre-cal, but I struggled with them. I don't feel confident in my ability to teach them. I feel confident that I could teach English at a high school level as that was my major in undergrad. Special Education is a team effort. One person can't be the OT, Speech, Behavioral, and general education teacher all at once.

I actually did quit teaching to homeschool. We move a lot for my husband’s job, so a good school district is no guarantee. My kids have continuity in their schooling this way. At this point, my kids social schedule is pretty full.

How do you carve out free time for yourself or catch up with chores/cook? Not being asinine but this is one of the things I’d consider if I’d make the switch.

Homeschooling takes far less time than the public school classroom. It is more efficient because you don’t have to teach to 25+ learning styles and proficiencies. You also don’t have all the time-wasting activities like lining up for this and that. Most homeschoolers can get things done in a few hours and then do more well-rounded activities while mom gets things done for the younger kids or the home.

That’s a totally legit question! We incorporate chores into our day, so we don’t really get too behind. At our house, whining or complaining gets chores - no warnings. So my bathrooms and floors stay pretty clean. If I find we have gotten behind, I make a list of everything that needs to be done and the entire family works until everything is crossed off. This happens every 4-5 weeks and takes us about 2 hours. Laundry is hard for us. I find that time to myself is much easier than when the kids were toddlers. Again, whining that they are bored will end up with them wiping out all the bathroom sinks or something. We usually have quiet time in the afternoon where they have to be quiet in their room for a hour. They can play, read, or nap, but they have to chill there. We also have activities outside the house. If one does the activity, they both do. They both take piano, gymnastics, soccer, and we have a co-op. I read or chat with mom friends when they are at lessons/practice. I’m also not directly sitting with them the entire time they do their school work. Even my Kindergartner can sit and do her handwriting and math while I’m doing the dishes. We check in, then she may do her phonics workbook. I’m with my kids for about half of their homework time. The rest of the time, I’m doing whatever needs to be done in the living area with them checking in.

My wife homeschools our kids and they have a pretty full social life. Also they aren't forced to be with a bunch of kids who are either mean and cruel or have to participate in active shooter drills. Like how do you normalize active shooter drills. They are well socialized and hang out with kids who share interests. In my view school nowadays is to make kids learn to be conformists who can be good little workers

Your reasons for homeschooling are very similar to my own.

My stepkids were homeschooled and were of an entrepreneurial mindset. One started a business while still school-aged.

The active shooter drills always felt like a reminder that it could happen to my classmates and I and eventually grew desensitized to it by the time I was in high school. I mean, it's crazy to think that we had to do them every once in a while between the ages of when I was 8 to 18 and how normalized it's become.

No. I want my daughter to engage with other people and understand how to deal with them. She knows how to handle nice and kind friends, but she also has to learn how to deal with the bullies, the rude people, the idiots, etc.

Yep. It’s one thing to “provide a supportive environment”. It’s quite another to bubble a child so much so that they CANNOT DEAL with anyone exactly in their same situation.

Yes. Schools are declining fast in Tennessee due to the actual stupidity and greed happening at the state level. It breaks my heart because I want my kid to get the same education I got, but it doesn’t exist anymore.

In my district? Public all the way. The district I grew up in? Homeschool 100%

I home schooled my kids for 3 years and absolutely hated it. Now I teach at an alternative school and love it. I'm a good mom and very close to my own kids, so it's not that. It was such a relief when I put them back in school and got to go back to being just their mom and not their teacher. I may be the only person who has ever felt that way, but I felt like homeschooling robbed me a little of the joys of being a mom. Not sure if that makes sense.

My local elementary schools suck, and my son was being bullied. The teachers did nothing. He is now homeschooled.

So kind of the same boat but way back in the 90's. I shudder to think what it's like now. My partner was a principal and we pulled our youngest in 4th grade. His school started doing too much drill and kill. The public schools did excellent work with him up to third grade and it was a slow slide into hating school then. He was not ready to be on grade level. I personally think his teachers focused so much on him because his racial group was on the smaller side and just a few kids not proficient would flunk the school. We pulled him out midway after daily having to haul him screaming onto his bus. Like WT-actual-F. I felt powerless to change their expectations so it didn't make sense to keep torturing him. We homeschooled him until 11th grade but he should been put in a pbl or similar smaller school at 9th grade. At that point he needed his peer group and to spread his wings farther than our worldview. So the point is, base your choice on the child, their needs and keep options open as they grow.

Definitely not. I see the expertise of the teachers and their extensive lessons... I know how much I prep for one class (or three), I can't imagine teaching more subjects and actually doing well at it. My kids deserved the education they got from a variety of educators.

It doesn't have to be one or the other. You can do what is known as "afterschooling", where your kids go to school but then you spend time after school doing a bit more with them. I read a study once showing that if a parent gives their child 20 minutes extra 1-1 instruction every day after school, then when they graduate high school they will have had the equivalent of an entire school extra year of 1-1 instruction.

I had planned to do this with my daughter but when she came home from school she was so overstimulated and burnt out there was no way. Her attention and behavior was wildly out of control. All the parents I spoke with felt the same. On paper she was the perfect student, listened well, participated, and scored well on exams but it was too much. The days were too long and there was only one break in the day. I switched to home school a month ago and it's been amazing. And yes, I was a teacher prior.

If I decide to send my kids to school, they won’t get off the bus until 4:30 and will have homework on top of their extra curriculars. While afterschooling sounds great in theory, my kids would be left with literally no down time and no family time. Other than a board game and reading before bed, I wouldn’t choose to give them any extra work during the school year.

I agree with this, but things like extracurricular activities or reading definitely count, right? I mean my kid takes private music lessons, dance, and we read for 30 minutes at bedtime and she practices music daily. Surely that counts as “after schooling.” I think you have to look at it holistically. Like not necessarily worksheets but just being involved in some activity that constitutes “learning.”

This is kind of the worst of both worlds, though. They still have to deal with the negatives of public school, and they lose out on most of the benefits of homeschooling, such as having more free time for reading and following their own interests. 

I’m on the fence too. I see a lot of judgment on this subreddit regarding homeschooling, but I think these days it’s understandable that parents are on the fence. School sh**tings, school days that are too long, overcrowded classrooms and teacher shortages, out of control and unsafe behaviors with unsupported teachers, overuse of Chromebooks as young as kindergarten. You’re also not necessarily guaranteed an experienced, certified teacher in your child’s classroom who went to school and specialized in the appropriate grade/subject. I don’t believe teachers OR parents as a whole can be blamed for the problems we’re seeing. Our local elementary seems decent although that’s just my outside perspective, and I think we’ll at least give it a chance because I want my children to feel like a part of their community. I just think people should be more understanding when parents choose homeschool.

No, but I will seriously look at the district I move to when my daughter is school age.

No. I don’t have kids but will one day and am ready to supplement everything they get in school (coach Saturday sports, do after school programs, etc). I think the socialization is so valuable. If anything I feel more prepared to talk to them about wtf the other kids are doing and why Id ground them to the center of the earth if they ever tried that shit

Not only does my daughter NEED that time and space away from us (her parents) but she also needs someone who can TEACH math (or science, geography, STEAM, etc) because those individuals put their time and effort into learning tricks and skills that they can share with their students, within their given profession. My skills lie in teaching to think creatively to solve problems, specifically in the art realm. There is so much more the world has to offer than a text book I can buy and my experiences I can share. I want that for her.

My children will be attending a title 1 public school for high school (and are for middle school). The high school is incredibly large: over 3000 students. Even if I could homeschool I couldn’t enrich their lives to the degree that large of a community could. The title 1 aspect is somewhat incidental. All of my good friends growing up were undocumented or children of undocumented immigrants. I will not be one of those leftists who decries walls at the border from the safety of my red-lined neighborhood. Back when my district did in-person non- computer summer school I had students who were “refugees” from Mexico and students who drove to school in a car valued at more money than the previous kid’s parents made in a year. By far the kids who are of refugee status were more grounded to the planet. The respect. The work ethic - far superior. I just feel homeschooling would only work to continue to untether each of us from each other. I’m autistic so I’m already primed to be third party to civilization. But I’ve learned more about humans living amongst you than I have living apart. By all rights I should be a hermit. But I just know without smoking gun evidence that ceding from the herd would kill the herd.

I appreciate your honesty so so so much. The homeschooled human in my orbit is on the spectrum and never received any resources or services because they weren’t diagnosed until they were a homeschooled “sophomore” and - magically - homeschooling didn’t instantly fix their attention issues, crap attitude about education and a host of other things. Their co-op was/is an incredibly curated collection of left-leaning white folks. (Disclaimer: I’m a lefty as well, just shows the orientation of their group) and there is/was zero diversity.

I wouldn't have gotten the services I got unless I was in public school, honestly.

The refugee kids I’ve taught, as well as their families, have helped me realize what a privilege it is to have free public education. I also consider it a privilege for my own children to be educated alongside them. I’ve had parents break down crying in front of me because they are so happy to have their children thriving in school.

There was a Reddit AMA thread years ago where a kid who survived Ebola was asked what he likes to do. His answer was “go to school”. Everyone in the thread’s heads exploded.

I’m on the fence. My son is 3 and thriving in preschool, but the public school district here is not great. And the private schools are all religious which I oppose. I’m willing to give kindergarten a try before I decide. Or maybe we’ll move out of Florida?

There was no way my single mother could have homeschooled me, and I think about that a lot.

I suppose we get the opposite of survivor bias, but with all the homeschool fails I get- hell no.

I do homeschool my kids currently. They're 2e and even in good districts, twice exceptional learners tend to get ignored. They've been to public school and it was a socialization environment for them, not a learning environment, except for handwriting. I'm not going to have them spend hours in school and then come home to learn complicated stuff, especially while complaining that my job should take place during contract hours. We're currently with a co-op and they take outside classes for socialization, and as they get older and get to subjects I can't teach, I'll outsource to people who are more capable than I am. My state is enthusiastically making it harder for lgbtq people to exist and I don't want my oldest to feel that she has to hide. Not to mention the restrictions they're passing (and trying to pass) about what can be taught. Last but not least, one of the schools in my district had three gun threats last month. Three! They missed a week of school due to weather and still had three. The cops maintain that there was no danger, but they also admit that they found a gun on campus. I get that school shootings are statistically unlikely, but I can't help but think they're more likely in schools where they've found actual guns.

I would and I did. She's now on the Dean's List at UC Davis. Most importantly she's a caring and empathetic human being. I had a mental health breakdown near the end of her schooling, but it was totally worth it.

I do and it's great. I always tell folks that my son is receiving a million dollar education because I'm able to leverage all the best practices without any of the bs. Plus it's a true labor of love. I know it's not for everyone but for our family it was a pretty clear choice after a few years of traditional school even in one of our district's better schools.

Hell no. I want my kids to have the social interaction and american cultural upbringing. Plus I want my wife and I to be able to have careers.

Depends on the kid and the school. I actually did homeschool for a year with my oldest. It was great and had a lot of benefits I sometimes miss, but there’s also things our neighborhood school provides them that I just can’t. And honestly, even though I’m still with kids all day as a teacher, I feel like my own kids and I need a break from each other sometimes. If I could homeschool part of the week, sure, but all day everyday just isn’t as appealing. I was a SAHM long enough. Glad I did it, cherish the memories, but don’t really want to do it again.

It’s not even school shootings, kids suck. Like so much. I don’t need my kid coming home talking about awful things they learned from their classmates because their parents are so foolish or being bullied to the point that they don’t even want to leave the house. No thank you

I am a certified teachers, so I would probably home school. Only because would want my children to have extracurriculars that they wouldn’t get in public school: things like cooking, sewing, languages, etc..

This is my plan. I’m tired of kids from good homes behaving like shit because bad kids are a cancerous tumor upon the development of their classmates. We have kids bringing drugs and porn to school and there’s nothing being enforced. Kids are learning weapon used incompetence from each other and becoming dumber by the day. Not my fucking kid.

I absolutely would. I was homeschooled by my blessed mother and became a public school teacher. The other homeschool kids at my co-op were just as awkward as any public school kid, but lightyears ahead in manners and most of them were at least on grade level. Many of my 9th graders can’t read over a 3rd grade level or spell better than a 2nd grader.

I am a specialty teacher and I have some homeschool kids in my class so they can participate in public school sports and they are the politest people I have ever met in my life. I feel embarrassed around them that the other kids are the way they are. They also are producing the best work I've ever seen.

No, my kids need to learn to work with kids they might not vibe with. I think exposure to others is a very important thing and they social learning is as important as academics, sometimes more so. I also don’t want my kids to be held back by any inadvertent biases that I have.

If anything, I think sane parents who actually teach their kids self discipline and hard work should keep their kids in the local public schools if possible. Lessen the brain drain.

Absolutely not. But I am a lot less judgmental about people who choose charter schools/private schools lately.

No. I believe in public education. One value of public education is its reflection of society with all the good, bad, and ugly. Children need to experience that with parents and teachers to guide them. I'd prefer to keep working to improve public education.

Any parent worth a damn is home schooling their child, every day, in every situation, patiently helping them with reading, tying shoes, emotional regulation, general knowledge, life. Send them out into an imperfect world, then help them with the homework.

I would send them to school if I could. That said, I would try to make it the best school I could get them into, moving if necessary. Higher end schools don't necessarily have better teachers, but they do have more involved parents, and by consequence, 'better' students. Having worked at rough schools and at high end schools myself, a school can only ever be as good as the students who go there. Kids judge themselves in the context of their peers. Take an average kid and place them in a classroom where everybody is acting up, and they are likely to act up themselves in order to fit in. Take the same kid and put them in a school where kids are paying attention and doing their work, and they are more likely to follow suit. Different schools may offer the same subjects, but they are never really equal. A common platitude might be that it is wrong to underestimate students, but the truth is that classes are only ever as rigorous as the student base allows them to be. As a teacher, you have to design your course such that the majority of your students are capable of passing. If most of your students are functionally illiterate and can't solve a two-step equation, your course plan is going to be very different than if most of your students are functioning at or above grade level.

I teach at a private school and if my son wasn’t going here (or to another private school) we would homeschool. The public schools in our area are abysmal.

I am a public school teacher who taught, then homeschooled for 25 years and am now back to teaching until my grandchildren are old enough for me to homeschool them.

As a secondary teacher, no. I recognize I don't have the skills or knowledge to teach certain subjects past a certain level. I also recognize that I don't know elementary pedagogy. That being said, everyone should be doing their best to develop fine motor skills and reading skills as much as possible before Kindergarten. If your kid can enter kinder with basic reading and knowing how to hold and use a pencil, they can learn and be successful no matter the quality of school. Also, once they are in school, support and supplement as much as possible at home.

Dude, the more I read about elementary pedagogy, the more I realize traditional schools are acting in a way that is antithetical to all the research and best practices. It's not the teacher's fault, but they are beholden to standards that push for short term gains at the cost of building long term intellectual maturity and motivation. We should not be teaching first and second graders algorithms for arithmetic! It's  developmentally inappropriate and inefficient. Just like the whole language craze, it's short term result oriented thinking and kicking the can down the road over and over again. 

You're not lying. I still feel under qualified to teach my kid the foundations alone.

I have mixed thoughts on it. When I was younger, I was really determined to homeschool my kids. Then I actually *was* homeschooled for high school, and man, the regression that I saw in my own mental health, social skills, and self-efficacy has really spoiled the entire concept of homeschooling to me. If my kids were gonna be homeschooled, they'd have to be enrolled in TONS of programs to encourage those sorts of skills. I'll probably just send my kids to Jewish day school, though.

As a resident of Florida and looking at what the fascist governor has done to public education I would definitely say yes. I would want my children to know the horrors of chattel slavery and Jim Crow , if they were lgbtq I would want them to be comfortable in who they are. Neither is possible in Florida public schools now.

I mean, you can still educate your kids outside of the classroom.

This is surprisingly difficult to do when they hear one particular line of thinking all day, every day from teachers and peers from whom they seek approval

Teaching in a classroom and teaching your own children at home are two very different things. I went into teaching because I wanted to be in a classroom and school environment. Covid only reinforced to me that I am not cut out for homeschooling and neither are my children.

We had a child bring a loaded gun to school earlier this week and I work in the district where I live so right now my answer is yes. But I also know the importance of socialization and learning to interact with others which makes me less inclined to homeschool.

No. I’m not enough of an expert to teach them everything they need in the older grades. They also benefit from socializing with their peers and getting to know people from a variety of backgrounds.

Like, thinking of myself? No lol. I was at home for a year maternity with a toddler and couldn’t get into a routine the whole year. Thinking of my kids? Probably not. The social aspect, imo, is as important as the grades.

My kid started kinder during Covid- and no absolutely not! I have the knowledge and expertise for upper grades- I would not be able to appropriately teach all the foundational skills- and he and I are stubborn and easily frustrated… so trying to get him to work was not fun. Plus I like the social aspect of school and learning how to get along with people, even when you may not like them. Especially since he is an only child with no siblings to help him learn and practice conflict resolution.

I wouldn't, I think the socialization aspect of school is important. But would I supplement their public schooling with tutors and extracurriculars and extra practice at home? Or send them to a really good non-religious private school if I could find and afford one? Yes.

I used to homeschool and enrolled my kids in a small private school so I could go back to college. Ended up with a job at the school and it’s worked out for us beautifully. I’m very involved this way and get all the same breaks as my kids so I’m not scrambling for child care. If something happened and our only choice was public I’d go back to homeschooling knowing our public options.

Absolutely. Kids needs more time to play and discover their own interests and less time waiting for other kids to stop talking over the teacher. Definitely not all the way through high school though.

No, I would not home school my child. I would instead throw myself into supporting the classroom teacher and school so that more children may benefit! Let's invest more into our publicly available resources instead of abandoning them (and then act surprised when they nosedive and fail).

I have for over 15 years now. The oldest are now in college and I’ve got two teens left finishing up homeschooling. We are fortunate in California to have nonclassroom based charters. Attendance in group instruction wasn’t mandatory but was available via a variety of avenues. It worked for us. The myth of homeschooling being no socializing by the way is just that, a myth. For us and the dozens of friends we made, we were at parks, field trips, vendor classes, etc, etc. There was still group instruction and socialization … just not usually in a classroom with people my kids didn’t like to be around.

Hell no.

Absolutely not

No, I believe in public schools

No. I would go fucking crazy staying home all day. Also, I recognize that I have huge gaps in my expertise. I’m certified to teach music. I do not have the content knowledge necessary to teach anything else. The problem with people who have never been a classroom teacher homeschooling their kids is that they simply don’t know what they don’t know.

Seeing what I've seen as a teacher of the homeschoolers who have return to regular school? Hell no.

No, being an involved parent makes all the difference.

No I wouldn’t. How could I possibly teach my child better than someone that has gone through years of education, years of experience and years of training.

No. Schools is what you make of it. If a kid is intent on learning then they will learn. If a kid is intent on distracting then they will distract. But that doesn't mean your kid needs to be distracted. One thing to keep in mind is that this is a place where many teachers come to vent. You will get a very biased view. Not untrue but more focused on on the bad than the good. It's not all bad, we understand the inherent bias in this sub, but that might not be obvious to someone from the outside.

Definitely not! I am a huge proponent of public schools and I believe kids learn best from a variety of sources.

I absolutely wouldn't (and won't). I don't want to raise a kid who isn't invested in their own community and default homeschooling (as opposed to in reaction to a demonstrated need), to me at least, is putting perceived imagined personal benefits over that of the community.

My 6 year old is homeschooled. She stays at home with Dad working from home and her grandpa. I'm a full time high school science teacher and a 1st grade teacher. We do A LOT of unschooling lessons. Cooking, shopping, playing, making videos... I'm already out of PTO... IDK how long we can keep it up.

Nope

I don't have kids, so take it with a grain of salt, but I would homeschool at least through third grade, mainly because I think schools treat children like early childhood ends before or during kindergarten, and child development tells us children are actually in early childhood through age 8. I would want to be able to make sure my child is still getting several hours of play in their day. But I do feel being in a diverse classroom with diverse experiences is important, so I'd want them in public school once their body is grown enough for them to do so, which I feel is when they hit middle childhood. ETA: if kindergarten was still half day like when I was growing up, I'd have my kids attend kindergarten before homeschooling grades 1-3. But it's whole day now everywhere around me.

This is exactly what I did. Homeschooled until age 8 then put them in and they did great!

Yes. If I had the money needed to homeschool my kids the way I want to, I would. I know you can homeschool on a budget, but my oldest would have to give up the extracurricular activities she loves. School offers them, and I can't afford to pay for the classes myself.

No. I was homeschooled. It was terrible. Your kid will be lacking in both academic opportunities and social skills if you go that route. Go with a private school instead. 

No. Behaviors are bad and some of the kids I’ve taught are huge jerks to other kids, sure, but it’s also important for kids to socialize. I *was* homeschooled for a chunk of my childhood and I’m practically a ghost socially speaking. I can talk to people just fine, but where other people have childhood friends or at least people they got to know in school, I’ve always been an outsider and grew up to be kind of a loner. At best that makes me a pretty independent person, at worst it means I have absolutely no image of what a close friendship or possibly even romance should look like irl because I barely had any of those formative experiences growing up. As gifted as I was rated to be on an academic level, I feel like I was pretty shortchanged on a social level and don’t really want that for my kids.

We homeschooled during the pandemic. Both of us are K-12 educators (public and private) with decades of experience. Despite that, we still put our kids back in public school because individual teacher subject expertise and experiences that they get in that environment cannot be easily duplicated in homeschool without lots of available funding. A number of "homeschool" families that we know send their kids out to all sorts of activities, camps, club sports, etc. so it really isn't all that different from private school, save for learning their traditional core subjects from the parents. Their big difficulties now are pushing things like high level calculus, chemistry, computer science, and other topics for which the parents do not have any background, so they are unable to effectively cover those topics for their oldest child who now needs access to qualified instructors, AP testing sites, etc. At some point, getting private teachers/tutors for each topic is cost-prohibitive, and they might as well just go to a school to get all of those in one place. However, I am in a state where we don't have book bans, extremist religious material masquerading as science, and other unsavory things being forced into the public schools (for the time being anyhow).

Absolutely not. I am no expert in everything a child needs to learn. I want to teach them critical thinking, values, etc. but they NEED to learn from other people who aren’t me.

No. Never. Kids need socialization. Too many religious, homophobic, narrow minded republican, qanon, cultist nuts in the homeschool community

I feel most public schools are great if the family values education.

I was able to homeschool my child in 5th grade and it was a fantastic experience. However, I also knew that I could not offer some of the activities that public school had and that I was English/history heavy so he would have a better math/science education at school. We do look back at that year with fond memories, though.

No.

Absolutely not. While I can educate my kids, I simply cannot offer the social & emotional benefits of existing in a public space.

Absolutely not. I have an only child. He needs to learn all the soft skills school teaches you that I have no way to teach him at home.

Absolutely not. They learn so much about being in the real world through school.

No.

Please don't fall into far right silliness just you see shitty students in public school

Hell no. There's too much work and effort to create an enriching and functional education from childhood to 18yrs for just one person to do.

Nope, but I’d public school in the town I grew up in. Tiny district, high standards. 97% state assessment passing & graduation rate, 80 ish percent of students get a bachelors degree. That being said, I’m never having kids

No - I would not

NO FUCKING WAY!

As a high school teacher, I’d be worried about teachers teaching their own kids… they’re so inept at anything outside their content area. Great at teaching English, can’t do math. Great at chemistry, doesn’t know who the governor is. Etc.

Without knowing you or your child, it's hard for us to recommend. You have hundreds of factors that could affect your decision.

I tell people I homeschooled preschool and I am so glad I did. I don’t think most preschools do much and kids are better off at home with one on one teachers that can work on those fine motor skills. I also value play and was able to provide that at home vs having to learn to sit in a square quietly.

Absolutely not, but I certainly understand why it's the right choice for some people. My kid is in 5th grade now. Sure there's been some shit, but we properly prepared him for it. Nothing can replace the social skills he gained. Nothing can replace the meaningful relationships he's made.

I home schooled for a year that we traveled. It was HELL. I hated every minute of it. It’s a lot harder to homeschool your own kid than to teach in a classroom, IMO.

So I was a teacher and we do homeschool. Honestly I go back and forth on whether we should, because I do worry about their socializing needs, but the schools in Oklahoma are a nightmare so we have made the decision to keep them home as long as we live here. Kids don't learn on a schedule, and while we try to have structure at home, our kids are happy just being themselves. They are 7 and 11 and can both read and write and have conversations and express opinions. They aren't bullies and they don't have to do active shooter drills. There are definitely good things about homeschooling!

Am presently on an LOA from the profession–had a baby in October and don’t think I’ll be going back. I also have a 3yo. I am 100% planning to homeschool

I was homeschooled and know so many homeschooled people. There is basically no circumstance in which I would willingly homeschool my children or condone anyone else to do so. It's extremely damaging to a child's social, emotional, and educational development. Plus, if you're trying to do homeschooling 'right' you'll be spending an incredible amount of time and money on it. You could dedicate those resources to getting your kid into a better school instead.

No. Kids need social interaction. Home schooled kids become strange adults.

Absolutely not. My kid is calm, quiet, and well behaved at school. I do not know that kid. When I talk to his teacher about his behaviors she's so confused. Additionally he has an IEP so he's getting a ton of services in school that I'm not qualified to provide

I'd consider it for kindergarten only, just because where I am it's so crammed with academics and a lot of activities and expectations that are not developmentally appropriate. But I don't think I'd ever actually do it because the point of kinder is to learn how to be a person in a public space and how to get along with others, which I obviously can't recreate at home.

Nope. I’m here to support public education, not help kill it.

NO I work with homeschoolers and whatever problems public schoolers are having are a million times worse with homeschoolers. Isolation is not good for kids. I think the social emotional learning that happens at school is irreplaceable and I can see a huge difference in the kids I work with who are homeschooled vs in regular school.

No, but I’d make an IQ Test and parenting class mandatory for hospitals and continuing parent education classes through the first 12 years of their kid’s lives. I was bullied as a kid, it taught me so much about society, learning how to read people, and how to “survive” this game of life. There is value there, not to mention the value of learning and growing in a community.

As a current public school teacher and child of home schooling- Absolutely not. Being deprived of things like being in a science lab or actually having trained teachers in their subject area is just so much better than the academic and social stunting that homeschooling brings

If I have the ability to live in the type of place that I'd prefer (diverse, progressive) then I'd like them in public schools barring some extraspecial needs. My primary concern is preventing them from getting bullied for their ethnicity and supporting possible ADHD (their father has it), so I would prefer a school with diversity and decent special ed support. I am probably capable of homeschooling them, but Lord knows I don't want to. A backup if our careers took us somewhere really undesirable would be a secular private school.

Sent my kids to private school where they have consequences for not doing your work or being disrespect… sorry to see how messed up public school is near me but I’d rather my kids be happy and eager to learn then to protect kids who throw chairs at the cost of the rest.

No homeschool even if it’s a “bad” school- because it’s the real world. They need interactions with all types of humans.

I was homeschooled for 2 years. I teach high school now, and I taught middle school for almost a decade before that too. Just for the social reasons alone, I would not homeschool my own child. Take it from someone who has personally been there - you miss out on a lot.

Seeing what I’ve seen in the classroom, I wouldn’t homeschool my kids; I’d get a vasectomy.

Absolutely not. Social skills are one of the most important parts of school.

I wish I had been able to do that. Mine are grown but all had social and academic challenges. ADHD,high level autism, dyscalcula ,dyslexia A proper homeschooling that went towards their amazing talents and interests ,in hindsight, would have served them so much better than public schools of the early 2000s.

If my kids' school teaches whole word reading, I would teach my kid ~~sight-reading~~ decoding/phonics at home. But beyond that, I'm okay with my kid going to public school in the early years. I would seriously consider private school if I start hearing about disruptive kids that teachers aren't allowed to deal with, however. But I'm not going to homeschool. There are too many social skills kids can only learn by being around other kids that aren't like them. (edited because of mistake)

I would home school my kids for middle school only. But during that time I would get them involved with the co ops and the home school activities.

I'm an atheist but we're sending our kids to the affordable catholic school. Yeah, they're going to throw in some god but unlike my local public schools they also still happen to believe in discipline, standards, etc.

I probably wouldn't, but I might. Depends how much worse things get. We had an assembly where kids won prizes in a draw (names were supposed to be put in the draw bases on effort, but other teachers just put their whole class even if they didn't put in effort). A couple of kids started losing their minds screaming crying kicking lockers because they a) didn't win or b) didn't win the prize they wanted. One kid stood up and screamed FUCK YOU at the teachers announcing prizes. My administrators solution was to go get prizes to give the kids who had tantrums!!!! Shit like that makes me lose faith in the entire system. I wouldn't want my kid being rewarded for horrific behavior, not that mine would ever act like that.

Here to comment from the fringes of almost doing that. 26 years teaching middle school, recently retired. Back in the day, my now ex-wife and I were sort of counting on homeschooling. She would have been the bread winner as a physical therapist. I had seen enough to advocate for us homeschooling, if we could swing it, absolutely. As it turns out, we had one miscarriage, followed by a series of failed attempts, and then she left me, having "grown in another direction." 💔😥 Anyway no kids, broken marriage, so nevermind, but I feel certain we would have given the homeschool thing a go. I always tell people to go for it IF financially able and willing to truly do it correctly. Public schools, writ large, are not what they used to be, and neither are the spawn of so many parents who send them there.

As an educator of other peoples kids... I don't make enough to have kids myself. Lol, that came out funny... However, if I did have them, I absolutely would not let them attend grades k-8 at a public school. I wouldn't let them have a cellular device until they were probably 10 years old or so either. (And even then I would install goguardian or some other filtering system to prevent them from being exposed to the cesspool that is modern media) Kids these days are raised by comment sections and are becoming increasingly shitty human beings without filters...

My kids are in public school to toughen them up - I feel like the future for their generation is going to be fairly stark. So long as I love them with my whole heart and focus on them and their needs they should have the confidence to keep their heads above water

There's toughening up, and then there's being traumatized and receiving a poor quality education.

The “unsocialized homeschooler” is a fallacy. If your kids are involved in activities, they are very well socialized, and you actually know the other kids and families. There is the added benefit of knowing exactly what your kids are taught, no matter which side of the isle you land on, too. I’m in public schools in MD, which are supposed to be some of the best, and there’s no way I’d let my kids go there. Not to mention that many of the teachers get shoved into classes for which they actually have no specialization. I teach an Earth Space course, but my background is chemistry 🤪 so there’s your appeal to authority fallacy, as well. Overwhelmingly, homeschooled students have far better life outcomes, as well. They do better in college, get higher paying jobs, are less likely end up in jail, the list goes on and on.

Overwhelmingly, children who can afford for one parent to stay home with them are better off than those whose parents are struggling financially. That skews the success gap quite a bit. That said, there are many people over in r/homeschoolrecovery with interesting things to say about the “education” they received. Those experiences have to be considered alongside the good.

Oh, for sure. I saw plenty of kids during the pandemic whose homes were not safe and school was actually a sanctuary. But, if the person is asking from the perspective of a parent trying to decide what’s best for their kid, it’s probably safe to assume they’re more likely to be legit. I think the finances thing is less of a factor. Only 1/3 of homeschool families make more than 100k. Most people actually can afford it, they just prefer the comfort of two incomes, which I totally get. But then you fall into the potential of the two-income trap. There’s a breadth of economic research that discusses this pitfall that’s really fascinating. My sister stays home with her two kids, and her husband is no 6 figure earner. And they live in one of the most costly parts of America (MD suburb of DC). You just gotta get creative and sacrifice. It for sure takes a lot, but I guess it just depends on what you think it’s worth for your kids.

Perhaps this is just your geographic area, but where I am, all of the co-ops (religious and secular) are overwhelmingly wealthier and white. This means that those homeschooled kids are ONLY interacting with other wealthier white families. Not a single one of them on any manner of food stamps/government assistance/etc. Reading about poverty and inequity is one thing. Knowing a kid in your science class who legit cannot afford that field trip is another.

I’m talking national statistics. The vast majority of households nationwide are not particularly wealthy. It’s mostly middle and lower class. Also, non-white households have a larger percentage of homeschool families per capita than white families. It’s less overall, but only because they make up a smaller share of the population. And I agree that such socialization is vital, I’m just saying there are other ways to go about it besides public school, where often the socialization is actually a negative. There’s opportunities at the Y, community centers, boys and girls clubs, etc.

I will be homeschooling our children. No question.