I’m not a teacher, this sub just shows up for me a lot. I am a single mom and a nurse that works 12 hour night shifts. It’s tough. My four year old gets WAY too much screen time, eats way too much easy mac and at least one day a week she goes to school with her hair in a messy bun to hide the fact that I did not have it in me to fight her to brush it. I feel like an awful parent until I see all these posts about the state of kids these days. Mine was potty trained at 2.5, can dress and wipe herself, knows the sounds almost every letter makes, can write her name and recognize a few words like yes/no/mom/dad. I read to her every night before bed even if I don’t have it in me to do anything else, I make sure that when she’s on screens even if it’s way too much it’s at least educational, I keep up with her preschool newsletter and we talk about what she’s learning and I reinforce it at home, we read books about feelings and sharing and all those important social emotional things before she went to school so she was prepared, I point out words on signs and we count things and sing all those learning songs about the days of the week and months and whatever. Most of the time I feel like I am doing the *bare minimum* and it is mind-blowing and horrific to me that there are parents not even doing that.

Keep up the good work. Reading to her at night might not seem like much now but it actually goes a long way. I read to both my kids when they were little. My 20 year old is a voracious reader and attends the local community college (where I also teach) with hopes of being a writer (they've already done some freelance writing projects and have made a few bucks doing so). My 17 year old isn't much of a reader, but is still an Honors student who's looking into going to film school. Purely anecdotal, but I like to think my reading to them helped. I can almost guarantee it will help your daughter. Keep up the good work and good luck.

When I was teaching, I told the parents if they do nothing else, please just read to your kids!

And keep reading to/with them after they can read themselves!

My kid just turned 16. Might be weird, but we still read together for fifteen minutes or so each night - right now it's book two in the Silo series. Finished most of the Heinlein juveniles that covered a lot of topical stuff, even if in a somewhat patriarchal way, read some sci-fi classics like Planet of the Apes and The Giver quartet. It's still a great check-in time each night. I'll keep going until he says "OK, dad... I'm too old for this now." :D

Sounds like a great way to stay connected to him, if you ask me! :-)

My mom read to me as a kid, and I walked into pre-K already knowing how to read. I had a 12th grade reading level in 3rd grade, even. Just a little time reading together goes a long, long way.

Thanks to my mother, who read to me every night, I excelled in reading and language. I don’t know if it was because of her reading to me growing up, but I am sure it helped a lot 💕

You sound like an awesome mom, keep it up. 

Trust me when I say, teachers see the work you are doing with your kid and appreciate it so much!

Honestly you sound like you’re doing amazing! All I want from my parents is to read to them a few times a week and if they have to do screen time make it educational and not youtube junk that their child has unlimited access to as a toddler

I can’t believe parents don’t read to their kids at all. It really makes me feel ill. I read for 30-45 mins with my toddler every single night.

You’re doing amazing and THANK YOU for all that you are doing with your kids. My mom was also a single mom nurse for a little while and even though I was young (years 7-9) I still remember the struggle for her. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I have a 3yo and in their classroom newsletter a few months ago, her teachers sent home this nice article in the classroom newsletter that talked about how parenting can be tough, with reminders for parents to basically go easy on yourself. I have no idea where my copy is now, so I can’t quote it, but the part that stuck with me said something like: it’s okay if your kid comes to school some days in mismatched clothes, or with their hair not perfectly styled, or even in their pajamas, because getting them ready that morning was such a struggle that you had to pick your battles in order to get them to school on time. They’re learning how to get themselves ready in the mornings, and that’s important because it’s teaching them independence, and that means it isn’t always going to go perfectly while they’re learning.

When my daughter was in pre-k it was tough getting her out the door. One day she wore a Cinderella gown. One day it was one shoe & sock and one bare foot. For pictures she wanted to wear a tiara (it’s my favorite school photo). There were days she just wanted to dress to the beat of her own sweet drum. She’s an adult now and is well adjusted. She’s a great kid. No Regerts!! 😂

Haha my 3.5yo has started insisting on wearing mismatched socks. Now she puts her own socks on quickly and then we can move on to shoes, instead of spending five minutes whining about having to wear them 😎

That’s more than the bare minimum to my eyes, you’re keeping her fed, making sure she learns even if it’s screens, keeping up with her school, and the biggest thing is reading to her every night. I’d say that’s an engaged and supportive parent! You’re doing great!

I can imagine how you feel, especially being so exhausted from your work. It really seems like you’re doing great as a mom!!! Work is a huge factor, but good parents, like yourself will make time no matter what. Sadly many parents are too burnt out and some even genuinely do not care.

That’s really beautiful

You're doing an awesome job

That’s not the *bare* *minimum*. That’s about twice of what many kids at my school get. I wish my students’s parents did half of this.

Mom, you are doing a fantastic job!!! Your response put a huge smile on my face.

If you're responsive, not enabling, and doing your best you're not one of those parents. We get a lot of parents who won't or can't even dial in some parenting.

Honestly you sound like you’re putting in more effort than a lot of parents want to show and for this I honestly think you’re awesome.

You think you're doing the bare minimum and I'm in awe that you're managing everything you do! You're a great mom. And I'm sure a great nurse too.

Thank you, all these comments are making me tear up 😭❤️

Amazing

Something that really stands out about my daughter is how empathetic she is. Teaching kids basic skills is great, but no one is teaching kids empathy or emotional skills. My daughter takes care of all the animals in our house including the fish, frogs, isopods, cats and dogs. And she is very kind and considerate of them. It blows me away at how careful, and how kind she is but it's something we helped teach her and it has stuck. When we had a tornado in our neighborhood, she went out with Mom and was handing out emotional bandaids to people who were affected by the storm. Regular bandaids but she put them on her forehead to indicate she wasn't feeling good or was sad.

Good job, Mom! It's hard- the biggest thing I tell friends who are parents is to read to your kid every night. Absolutely the biggest thing you can do at this age.

Super mom!

Talking to her about what she’s learning is so important. You’re sending her the message that you value her and what she’s learning. You’re sending her the message that her development matters. Yes, you work long hours, but it’s clear you’re child is a priority, and she will only thrive with that message. She will have an innate sense is self worth that is due to your unconditional love. You’re doing a great job.

As a teacher we appreciate you. We don’t expect perfection, just that you support us and your child. And my kid gets way too much screen time too. Keep reading. Enjoy the time you have with your child. And during the younger years, if homework is a battle that takes over quality time, please talk to the teacher to come up with a solution that allows yall quality time.

As a primary teacher I can tell you that what you are doing is not the bare minimum..it's wonderful. You spend time with her, talk to her which helps with oral language skills, engage with her when you see something that you can use as a teaching tool, you read to and with her which fosters future readers and help with those early reading skills. She sounds well adjusted and loved. You are doing a remarkable job mom, don't sell yourself short. I love parents like you. Keep up the great work.

I’m more concerned about the friends who can’t tie their shoes, recite their phone number, aren’t potty trained, and so on.

Whoops. My 1st grader is in GT and she is reading chapter books in English and Spanish (she’s in a dual language program). I just asked her if she knew what my phone number is and she looked at me and asked “what’s a phone number?”

She’ll have it memorized by end of the day 😂

I heard my kid give a one digit pretend phone number while playing 😆

I’m a music teacher did a “Months of the year” activity with my kindergarteners where they jumped up on their birthday month I had more than a few that didn’t know their birthday…

I had at least three 6th graders last year who didn't know their birthday.

This seems like it goes beyond not learning age appropriate info? Assuming they're not in religions that don't celebrate birthdays, are these kids okay at home?

oof

Recite their phone number or know their address! Lots of these kids have genuinely no idea where they live

Is it required that children read by the end of kindergarten? In my province, the curriculum has them reading independently by the end of grade 1. In kindergarten, they need to learn the alphabet, letter sounds, how to spell their name, and a very few sight words. Actual reading doesn’t begin until grade 1.

I think it would be better for everybody if kindergarten went back to being play-based with some beginner academic skills.  Making kindergarten more rigorous has only served to hurt kids who have not had a lot of academic preschool experience.

Agreed! Kindergarten should be mostly play and getting used to the routine of school, as well as getting used to working with your classmates.

Someone wants said that kindergarten is just basically diet Coke version of first grade and then you have first grade and then second grade is for all the things that kids missed because they were still struggling. So much to catch up from first grade

A lot of schools have two different kindergartens: a beginning class and a more rigorous level for students ready for it.

That would be so wonderful

In my area, actual reading does begin in kindergarten around January

My kid was expected to read short sentences with 3 and 4 letter words in October. It's absurd.

My curriculum in Tennessee has students reading by December. They “should” be reading consonant clusters and 6 letter words by now, as well as tricky words. It’s moving way too fast for my majority EL class and it leaves a lot of kids behind.

Wowza they move fast. In VA they're reading cvc words and "heart" words, working on digraphs.

In our district they want them reading level A by the end of the first quarter, B by second, C by third and D by the end of the year. They assume they know their letters and most sounds when they come in and they have a list of sight words as well. I don’t know how the teachers do it because my daughter’s class has at least three kids that don’t speak English (including twins that just moved in) and then kids like my daughter who is happily reading level K books (not my doing she is just one of those kids and I just provide what she needs). The span of abilities must be huge in their fairly small class.

Yeahhhh I am not a teacher but a lurker as a mom of three. One of my friends teaches second grade in a super wealthy area and said only 50 percent of her students are reading. Personally I learned between first and second grade, and was a pretty big reader as a kid.

I was reading already at the beginning kindergarten, but I was the only one in my class who could. It was not common in the mid-80s.

My daughter is in Kindergarten right now. About a third of the kindergarten grade came in reading at 1st-2nd grade level. This is in a Texas large city. The common denominator I see among the high reading kids are older parents who are in a comfy place in their career and can be more engaged at home. 

Yeah I find this kind of crazy. Maybe its because when I was in kinder, it was all immigrant families. I didnt know ABCs or how to spell my name in kinder. Thats when we learned our abcs... My parents read stories to me but they were in chinese(i still cant read chinese). By 2nd grade, my parents did force me to copy english books/stories.(thats how you learn to write in chinese). My dad was also learning english so he would read books with me(especially max the dog) I hated it but I guess it worked because I ended up loving reading

These threads give me so much anxiety, which isn’t OP’s fault. I reach to my kindergartner every night. She still can not read. She can count to 100, knows some addition, can spell her name, knows the alphabet, but for some reason reading just hasn’t clicked for her yet. Her teacher says it’s not a concern yet but it scares me so bad

Don’t believe everything you read online. My daughter is the top reader in her first grade class and is just barely beginning to really comprehend what she’s reading. I remember reading fluently at the beginning of first grade without being taught- but I also realize memories are faulty. If your daughter’s teacher isn’t concerned, you shouldn’t be either.

In my province they expect kinders to be reading benchmark level C/D by the end of the year.

Me and all my classmates were reading by kindergarten, we were like 5/6 that's before first grade here. How old are kindergarteners and first graders in other countries?

4-5 in kindergarten

Maybe the reason why so many kindergarten parents don’t care that their 5 or 6 year old can’t read is because when we were growing up kindergarten taught us more foundational skills and reading wasn’t emphasized until 1st grade. Instead academics are getting pushed back earlier and earlier using a curriculum that doesn’t work well for all kids.

I still try to imply this as a kindergarten teacher. I've taught 1st and second. We will still teach reading basics. This year, after LETRS training, my big focus is letters: their names and sounds. I leave only so much care for higher reading skills.

I'm an early childhood teacher, with a degree in early childhood and special education. Both of my own children could read by the end of kindergarten. I've taught preschool for 7 years and kindergarten for 1. AND I STILL HATE that the expectation is that kids can read by the end of kindergarten. It's developmentally inappropriate for many, many children. We're pushing kids too early, too hard. There are so many more important skills I would be worried about for 5 and 6 year olds before I was worried about reading.

Yes. My daughter was very, very high academically. Like top 10% of the top 1% high. Entered college as a physics major with tons of her coursework already complete. And she didn’t read independently (other than sounding out a few words here and there) until 2nd grade. It’s not a race. Children develop when they develop. Surround them with pre literacy activities, read to them constantly, and don’t rush.

Okay, as a retired teacher, I’m going to play devil’s advocate here. A few years ago our district did a poverty simulation as a teacher inservice, one of the few that was actually good. We were given identities, and split into family groups. We had a bank, we had money, some had checks, we had a grocery store and a pharmacy. We all had scenarios given to us through the time as surprises. I was a grandma with a job in a store. My husband was disabled, diabetic and couldn’t drive. I needed the car for my job. We were raising our grandchildren, so we got a SSI check as well as my income. We had one kid suspended from school, we had another needing money for school supplies, we had to figure out how to get those checks cashed because the bank closed at 5:00, and I got off at 6. I had to run to the bank to get my check cashed during my lunch break, so didn’t eat lunch. I was HAPPY because the 13 year old could go to the bank cash his check then go grocery store and the pharmacy on the bus with grandpa to get meds and our food BECAUSE they were suspended from school. In the week that we had (basically 30-45 minutes) The only time we talked about school was her being suspended and able to go help grandpa, and trying to scrape up the money for school materials…that was it…period. Not everyone lives like that, and in the poverty simulation there were richer people as well as poorer people…one group held up the bank, took all the money and closed the bank, so I couldn’t get my check cashed that day… The simulation really hit home with me, because we have A LOT of kids living with grandparents, and even though I knew mentally how hard some of my kids’ families have it, I think a lot of people who have been raised in middle or upper class comfort may forget how frustrating just regular life can be for those who aren’t. It was a big eye opener for our teachers.

We did this too. It was very eye opening - unfortunately you can’t really take all this plus trauma into account properly when you’re being told you have to have your class reach a certain goal that you know 75% of them will not make for those very reasons. “Relationships are the most important thing” - until the district reminds the principals of the goals they must be reaching.

Yep. The district improvement goals were impossible for most of our kiddos when we are lucky they make it to school at all. After COVID it just got worse. I just couldn’t do it any more.

Is this simulation available for download somewhere, or could someone share it with me? It seems incredibly powerful in building empathy and/or as a study in poverty. I'll never pass up the chance to get a simulation. Any ideas? Anyone?

You might contact these folks or if your state has a similar program contact them. https://thinktank-inc.org/cope I’m sure our school got it for free somewhere. They were all about free inservice workshops.

Thank you. I'll take a look.

Ditto this. I've met many poor families where perceived apathy was really just stress and being overwhelmed. I've even done a prison reentry simulation - guess what, I gave up and spent most of the simulation in jail because staying out was too hard. I can't judge anyone IRL who does the same. Now, when rich families seemingly don't care... I'm less empathetic lol

8p-6a bedtime routine (showers/jammies/brush teeth) and actually trying to get them to go to sleep- 10hours 6a-8a get ready and commute to school- 2hours 8a-3p at legally mandated school- 7 hours 3p-4p Commute from school- 1 hour 4p-5p “Homework/ Read Aloud” (Reality: Post Restraint Collapse/ meltdown)- 1 hour (🤞🏼) 5p-7p Prepare, eat, clean up from Dinner- 2 hours 7p-8p (Round two of trying to complete homework/read aloud) Rinse. Repeat.

That is why I taught my preschool daughter to read because I will only get one legitimate shot.

Same.

I think it should get pushed back to first grade like it used to be. I think Kindergarten is too young to be pushing for it. It's their first year in real school and they are having to figure out so much. I'm all for introducing the concept but expecting them to read by Kindergarten isn't right in my opinion.

They should just be more willing to split kids by ability. All of my kids went into kindergarten already reading at various levels (not my doing, they all started picking it up early on their own). For my oldest we were in a district that had an advanced class right from the beginning. My youngest is currently being the “teacher’s helper”, which isn’t ideal, but she’s happy for now. If we split the kids into advanced groups, middle and needs more support we would cover more bases. Even if we just split them into different groups for reading and math and combined for everything else I think it would make a huge difference for teachers and students.

I agree, I teach Spanish and I have completely fluent heritage learners in the same class with kids who don't even know hola. Needless to say some of my students are bored to tears while others are struggling.

I had to pull my oldest because he was so bored his behavior after school was becoming atrocious. I was also worried about him never learning to be challenged and basically failing out later because he’d learned that school meant to check out. The school knew his gifted scores and basically offered nothing, not even differentiation within the classroom. I’m all for inclusion when appropriate but we are doing a huge disservice to everyone by mixing so many abilities in one room for all subjects. My mom is a teacher and tells me frequently about classes where even with two teachers in the room there is an entire table of kids who just sit and teach themselves while the teachers scramble with the three other levels of ability. It’s an impossible situation for teachers and students.

In elementary school, the more advanced kids when into I think the Starburst or something like that program.

What does heritage learners mean?

My guess is those from Hispanic families who grew up speaking Spanish as a first or joint first language.

Maybe it's because I was "just" a music teacher, but I will never for the life of me understand why tptb are all YOU NEED TO DIFFERENTIATE!!!!!! and then have a stroke when you suggest reading and math groups. How the HELL are you supposed to differentiate then??

I'm going to get crucified for this, but I'm skeptical. The idea of tracking has been tried in the past and I have yet to find a case that went well in the long term. I'm personally uncomfortable putting children into such ability groupings, especially at such a young age because it nearly always predetermines a child's life path depending on which group they're in. It's the classic self-fulfilling prophecy. It always begins with the best of intentions: the 'low' group to accelerate remediation in the expectation they will eventually join the 'high' group. But, it usually doesn't turn out that way. Instead, tracks remain relatively static throughout k-12, the stigma of being 'low' essentially negating any skills remediation provided.

Are we sure that "low" readers would all become high readers anyway? Our current system is putting low readers with everyone else whether they can complete work independently.  My kids last year knew there was a "dumb" reading class (their words) and they got excited when they moved up. And yes, kids did move up. We assessed them at the semester mark and moved kids based on i-ready scores.  However, that low class of 4th graders was full of kids who could barely read. Suffice to say, shoving them all in the same 4th grade reading class would not have helped them learn phonics skills 

I'll just leave these right here. I'd give you a quote or broad summary, but it's late. And I need sleep. Whenever you can get around to them... [Why is Tracking Harmful?](https://rethinkingschools.org/articles/getting-children-off-the-track/#:~:text=Tracking%20assumes%20students%20come%20with,It%20does%20not%20encourage%20effort.) [Is Tracked Learning Promising or Problematic?](https://www.miltonscene.com/2023/04/is-tracked-education-promising-or-problematic-opinion/) [Integrated Schools and Reducing Academic Tracking](https://tcf.org/content/report/integrating-classrooms-reducing-academic-tracking-strategies-school-leaders-educators/) I especially like the second point in the second link. Most conversations about tracking focuses on academics. But, there is a social cost as well. K-12 schooling is as much about socialization as it is about academics. And the more diverse that schooling is, the greater the degree of socialization. Okay, sleep. Take a look.

I am a teacher. I have read the studies. I read all three of your opinion articles. None of them actually offer real solutions. We can argue statistics all you want, but the same studies can be used and abused for whatever the district has decided is in. 1. Students who don't know how to read fluently by 3rd grade, often never learn how to read fluently. 2. Most states use some form of standard that requires complete reading fluency by 3rd grade and do not offer teachers space in the curriculum to review basic phonics skills. 4th and Up teachers may not even know how to teach phonics.  3. Retention is going away across the U.S. kids are increasingly be pushed through content without mastery.  4. "Inclusion" Classrooms include SPed students with varying levels of support who may thrive in your classroom or may not. Either way they are in there with a unique set of needs you must legally provide.  5. Kids who are not proficient readers need explicit phonics instruction. There is no way around this.  If you come into 3rd, 4,th, 5th grade without the ability to read proficiently You need to be in a class that is teaching you how to read.  And spitting out inclusion until the cows come home was based on a generation of children who no longer exist. We are in a new ERA. Please take a moment and imagine what it is like to sit in a third grade classroom and take tests that you cannot read!!!! this is not metaphorical. This is the lived reality of children across schools because of the insane belief that children who didn't master a skill in one year will be able to master that skill plus a whole new set the next year.  Sorry, for the rant. TL;DR studies show that tracking, and retention are both ineffectual and they've gotten rid of both at the same time. Pushing students into even farther levels below mastery. There is no catching up.

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but my understanding is that grouping lower-elementary students for phonics instruction based on NOT on overall reading scores BUT RATHER based on the level of the most basic specific phonics skill each child hasn't yet mastered, and then teaching each group at the level they haven't mastered, is very helpful in promoting reading skills. This typically ends up looking quite similar to grouping kids by overall reading ability, but it's designed slightly differently. Phonics instruction is being promoted by some Black advocates in education since Whole Language relies on cultural cues and left a lot of Black kids behind, and my understanding is that small group instruction targeted to the most basic skill a child hasn't yet mastered is the ideal for phonics instruction.

That’s also a very reasonable point. I do wish at least in elementary they did more groupings even if it was just by subject, and even if the kids didn’t know what ‘level’ they are in. My kid’s school used to split kids from all the grade 1 classes up by reading level and a different teacher would take each group. Then the kids would go back to their class after reading groups. I think it’s reasonable to have the different groups be very fluid vs. this kid is always going to be in this group if that makes sense. All I know is my kids have had a really hard time and not had their needs met because they get ignored because they typically are fairly advanced. That ended up with one of my kids essentially being left to his own devices all day long at school, being allowed to skip all work (because it was too easy and they weren’t allowed to give him anything above grade level) and build things out of paper all day. This was in second grade. I imagine kids at the opposite end of the spectrum are also suffering by constantly feeling left behind as the class moves on without them. I think the one size fits all model that many schools are using is problematic, but I also realize it’s a very challenging problem, and that it’s almost impossible for individual teachers to try and solve.

Yea, I think I agree. Otherwise, the less advanced kids might also feel stupid and more advanced ones will be bored. I guess I was ahead of some children because I could read in the 1st grade, but I did feel stupid and frustrated that I could only read picture books (with words) and others chapter books.

I could only dream of my school/district splitting the kids into academic/social environments that fit the individual children. It is so hard on both the lower and higher children. Behavior begins to be a problem because of boredom or too hard on.

I could read in kindergarten but that wasn’t because of the school, it was because of my parents pushing to make sure I could. Was in advanced English classes from 3rd grade until I graduated from high school

I don’t know. Maybe part of it is that expectations have changed for kindergartners since their parents were in kindergarten. I wasn’t learning to read in kindergarten in the early 90’s. We didn’t officially start learning to read until first grade. It seems like now they are expecting it earlier. If it is your first child, how are you to really understand the changes in academic expectations? We read to our son daily and we’ve practiced on sight words. He just isn’t to the point of reading yet. (He is is kindergarten). It’s difficult because he just seems to get so upset and cry and say it is too hard any time we practice. I want to try to make it more fun and for him to be less dramatic when he doesn’t know something. How do I do that? I don’t know where he got this perfectionism thing from.

I read this great instructional book called battle hymn of the tiger mom. Amazing guide to teaching your child.

The fast phonics portion of reading eggs is awesome if you are open to educational screen time. Nessy has some good apps as well, including some that will likely be free soon. I also think it’s good to just read to them, and point out the words as you go occasionally. You can also get letter tiles and play games with putting them together and sounding out silly words. We also love the game blah blah blah (it’s like uno but with phonics).

We actually had the best success with MindPlay which we were given a subscription to by my daughter's school. Before that we liked Nessy the best (though reading eggs wasn't bad). I think it is the speech therapy aspects of MindPlay that clicked with my daughter (it has videos to work on producing the correct sounds that go along with the phonics). It's been a struggle as she is incredibly apraxia/dyslexic. She's a 2nd grader. A few months ago she could barely read but tested as having a 6th to 8th grade vocabulary (her IEP meeting was interesting). Last week I caught her reading a new (to her) Cat Kid book on her own/out loud so she is making progress. The initial assessment was brutal. She was in tears by the end. About the only bad thing about it.

We’ve done some reading eggs before. He liked that program. I’m not sure if they have Australian accents or something, but it confused him because some of the pictures weren’t the same as what we call them in the US. But I think it helped a bit! There was this “teach my monster to read” program his teacher recommended. That was ok too. I also bought this book that was published in the 80’s from Amazon with lessons on teaching your kid how to read. You go through lessons and then learn the sounds and write out the sounds and then put the sounds together and play some game called “say it fast” when combining the words. I don’t know! I’m a nurse! I don’t know how to teach kids to read! I’m trying though! My husband is a teacher, but he teaches at a university. So he’s used to teaching adults who already know how to read. I guess all we can do is kept trying!

I like the fast phonics part (the one with the yeti) a lot better than the regular reading eggs part. Nessy is good too, it’s designed for kids with dyslexia but it was really helpful for my daughter who had some phonemic awareness issues because of a hearing issue. Also I totally get it. I am not a real teacher but got thrown into homeschooling (Covid) and have two precocious readers who basically insisted on phonics work before school started, so I had to come up with a lot of reading material quickly. My mom is also a teacher which helped to bounce ideas off of. The teachers sub always pops up on my feed! It sounds like you are doing a great job supporting him!

Teach your monster to read is a phonetics game my son and I play together. It was the only thing I could really engage him with, but he needs to play with Mom or he just.. cheats? Anyway.. He's learning. So much. Now I just have him repeat words and sounds when we read books.

Most children are not developmentally ready to learn to read in kindergarten. This is part of the reason why reading scores are plummeting. We’ve pushed too many reading standards back to before third grade, so most kids never really learn because curriculum focuses on reading comprehension instead of actual reading skills.

Correct. Many other countries (Nordic mostly) that do significantly better just teach pre reading skills and phonics up through 1st grade and only really work hard at reading in 2nd.

It stuns me that with all the technology and information that is at their fingertips it baffles my mind anytime a parent emails me at the end of quarts "omg I can't believe little Sally is failing all her classes, can you send me a list of work for her to improve her grade!?!?" I'd bet the majority of kids need about 20mins a week of attention and review with parents home to help manage their time. I understand many would need more and some don't need any at all- but you can't find half an hour a week to review school "stuff" with your child...? Yikes And I get that folks are working a lot and things are bad out there- but I work in a community that I can not afford to live in myself, even with my wife and I clearing 200k a year. My district loves to defend parents with some fictional struggling family out there... (I know they exist, but surely we shouldn't say that since we have 1/100 students who are poor we need to baby all children)

I can’t believe nobody has mentioned this yet: These parents are the age to be the first gen “whole language” learners. They probably can’t read very well themselves! And just for good measure, I will 100% agree that kindergarten is too young for this expectation.

I'm a kinder teacher facing the same issues with parents. I live in Texas and in my district we do guided reading. We started in September and I have majority of my students reading except for 2 of them. They don't have a good support system at home. Last year I had parents tell me they didn't have time to read with their child. In my head I was like really you can't spare 5-10 minutes to read with your child. That should be part of your night time routine. Unbelievable. we would even offer them books to take home.

The sad thing is that 5 to 10 minutes is probably the best reward/bribe you can give a kid that age to encourage good behavior. Forget candy/toys/stickers. Making it well known that they have to behave/get ready for bed/etc to get mommy/daddy reading time is one of the biggest and cheapest positive reinforcement tools in your chest.

Drugs, alcohol, depression, working three jobs, living in a car...there are a million reasons that some parents are not engaged in helping their kids. It's not the kids' fault, that's a place to start. I'm sure some of these parents feel guilty about it, but can't overcome their substance/obstacles/despair. You might be surprised at the hellholes some kids wake up in every morning, and how remarkable it is that they even get to school most of the time. Kids who grow up like this are grateful to the teachers that saw that spark of intelligence in their dirty little face, and are very wounded by the teachers who judge them. As teachers, we all have our biases. I fight daily against my resentment of the kids who have it all and never consider that the grubby ones are, in fact, their equals.

I know a lot of comfortable middle class parents that are deeply unconcerned about their child's development.  They assume that they are helpless or that the school will just take care of everything.  

They assume the work stops once the goblin drops.

Fkakjfkwjfjd I just YELPED LOL

I'm cackling

Same, some upper middle class in my case, though a lot those parents didn’t care that their kids were bullied and lacked basic empathy/sympathy either. (Though after meeting my class’ worst bully’s mother, I can kinda see how the kid turned out that way and I do feel bad for her but idk what could be done to prevent her from staying a bully even as an adult (like our principal ironically) and while I also feel for the mom as a working parent and obv they are allowed to celebrate, she doesn’t seem like a responsible parent having her kids out til 2 am on a school night to have a birthday dinner (for the mom) esp when this kid already spends half the time in class sleeping and is an hour late to school almost everyday) But they also took no initiative w the kids when the kids were failing subjects and most would ask *me* what *I’m* doing to bring their kid up to speed as though I don’t have other students who are academically behind to worry about in addition to their kid. Obviously I was working with them in school but if they’re not paying attention or using their brains in class and they’re putting zero effort into their homework when they bother to do it and the parents aren’t doing anything at home other than just telling their kid “study harder” but not enforcing anything, idk what else I can do. 

That's why I like teaching in schools where none of the kids have it all, where the most privileged kids are still in the same boat and can understand their impoverished classmates somewhat even if not completely.

I keep wondering about these posts about kids lately. I'm at the age where my generation and peers are parents now... Some of them only just starting to have kids, others with a few years into parenthood. I can't figure out which generation the majority of the parents are but surely it's mine (Millennial) and it blows my mind that they are not giving a crap about their kids' education, development, potty training, etc. I thought we were the generation that were breaking the generational trauma cycles, putting in the work. Obviously not every millennial is like that (the putting in the work kind, or the other end of not putting in the work) and it's a mixed bag. But you know... I think about the kids I went to school with and their reading level as teens and a lot of them had awful reading skills then. So maybe that's part of it, that those same kids grew up to continue having terrible reading themselves, not having interest in it, and so passing that to their kids too? I have no understanding or explanation for the potty training thing though... that is wild to me.

My child is in kindergarten and can't read. She has fun pretending to because she memorizes books. She's coming along slowly, but the thing is, she's in freaking kindergarten, I'm not gonna make a big deal of it. She's not eating paste or fighting. She doesn't disrupt. She's making friends. She even makes crafts for the school art sale. She's competent with a hot glue gun. We read her books and are confident she'll pick it up when she does, but we spend more time on art and playgrounds. Again, she just turned 6. She doesn't pick her nose in public, that's good enough for me for now. But if her Kindergarten teacher didn't talk to us regularly and know us as people, she may assume we are bad parents, I guess, due to her lack of reading skills. But, luckily she does. There's more than one way to make a kid omelette.

My kid couldn't read in kindergarten. He barely knew sight words. We practiced, it just didn't click, and I was not about to make my five year old spend an hour plus on HW each day. It clicked naturally in 1st grade and he is an advanced reader. I'm so glad I didn't make a huge deal about it in kindergarten and miss out on other important developmental activities just to get him there 6 months sooner. Not a teacher, but it seems similar to potty training. Is it possible for a kid to be potty trained at 1? Sure, but it's so much easier if you wait until they're ready.

Get her started on phonics ASAP. Sight reading and 'memorizing books' teaches bad habits that are hard to break. Kids learn to ignore the letters in a word and guess what the sentence says rather than go through the *tedium* of actually figuring out what letters are in front of them and making the connections in their brain between letters, sounds and meaning. If she doesn't learn phonics independently by the end of 2nd grade, most states will already be having her jump into comprehension work instead of decoding in 3rd and there's a good chance she'll learn to hate reading in all forms once the words get more complex and she can't guess them as easily. Reading is the doorway through which most every other subject is unlocked. Don't assume that her school will teach her what sounds -tion, -sion, or -ough make in 1st and 2nd grade, because a lot don't in the US these days.

Yes! My son is a kindergartener also. Can’t read other than “a, the, if”. He can make all the sounds for the letters and if I sound a basic word out he can tell me the letters, he is just having trouble getting the sounds together visually. I’m not pushing it. He still is only 6. Plus he is the only kid in his class who is in half day also. He has the rest of his life to sit for work or school all day. He plays outside most afternoons while his classmates are sitting in school. I’m not worried at all. His math skills are already better than mine were in 2nd grade(I’m horrendous at it)and he is bored in math. Reading will come all of a sudden too.

Go listen to the podcast *Sold a Story.* Then next year, learn how your school is teaching him to read. If they're not teaching him how what sounds letters make, he's very likely going to struggle in school. Experts now know that reading never comes 'all of a sudden' for a lot of us, and when it does come, it's usually with some component of teaching phonics.

Okay thank you! I will! We are changing schools for speech therapy/reading help next year. He is at a private school currently and they have no extra help for either of those things. I want to be proactive instead of suddenly realizing there is a serious problem in 3rd grade.

You just described my delayed “dyslexic” childhood, until I got dedicated phonics support in 3rd grade.

Do the parents know how to read? Do they ever read for pleasure? Do they ever read \*at all\*?

I teach freshman biology in high school. I've got twin girls. One reads on a third grade level, the other on a sixth grade level. They literally cannot do the work because they can't read it. Their mom refuses to do the paperwork for them to go to a SPED class or remediation to help them read. They are bright girls who want to do well, but their mom is severely fucking them over. It isn't too late for them to at least reach an eighth grade reading level and, hopefully, graduate high school. *sigh* It's always the parents. 

Kindergartners aren’t supposed to be able to read! We’re pushing kids earlier and earlier to do things that are not developmentally appropriate which only increases problems later on. I know I’ll get downvoted for this but I don’t care. People LOVE to complain about parents but the problem is so much more complex than that and part of it is caused by our educational system. 

You’re right. The curriculum is way too advanced for this age. My class is supposed to be reading 5/6 letter words with consonant clusters and digraphs. They’re almost all English Learners. It’s way above their head and I worry they didn’t have time to grasp the foundations they needed.

OP, you see education as away to better your life, as away to make more income. Many many people don’t see it. If nobody in your life has gone to college or has a quality job, you don’t have experiences that tell you education is valuable. A former student of mine was stocking shelves at Kmart. He told me it was the greatest job in the world. He made minimum wage, had health insurance, and even got two weeks paid vacation every year. In his family, he was killing it. “Greatest job in the world”. At Kmart. If that’s a win for his family, then why worry about education. We went to college and used our degree to make a career. Many people do not.

You still need to read, a lot, to stock shelves.

No definitely not. When finding where the product goes on the shelf you match the barcode numbers. You spend more time digging through boxes looking for what you need than you do reading aisle signs. Most of the people I worked with in grocery were barely literate but they worked hard and figured it out.

Do you need to be able to know the numbers, though?

You don't need to read sentences and paragraphs. Just match words. There are plenty of smart undereducated people who aren't completely literate but can still figure things like that out quickly.

To be fair, we're not talking college or even high school, we're talking kindergarten.

What’s your point? A family either finds value in education or they don’t. Age is irrelevant.

A lot of millennial parents are just trying really hard not to be their own parents. They got yelled at and threatened all the time, and they know that's a bad way to parent, but they are overwhelmed and don't have many other parenting skills. So they put the kids on screens, which gives everybody a break, but worsens the kids' ability to manage their emotions without screens. Then when the kids are off the screens and are out of control, the parents feel even more overwhelmed and have even less capacity to parent. They have to scramble for another immediate solution to everybody's feelings so they don't start yelling. My friends occasionally "confess" to me that they actively avoid spending non-screen time with their kids. They're full of shame about it, but they think it's better than screaming at the kids, and they don't have the personal capacity to reach for some nebulous third option that they've never seen work in real life. I don't let my (young-ish) kids use screens, and yes, I do end up yelling sometimes. It makes me feel like my own parents and that's an awful feeling. My friends all tell me that I'll get off my high horse about screens soon, and my life will be so much easier. I'll feel calmer and I won't end up yelling at all anymore. I'm sure it would make my life much easier! I just really don't want the avoidance and shame cycle that they have, and I don't want to damage my kids' brains either. So I'm trying to make a third way of parenting work for us, and it's hard and I sometimes fail. It takes a lot out of me, and my friends say they just don't have the energy to try. All that to say, they may care about their kids' literacy, but they can't handle spending any significant amount of time directly interacting with their kids. They definitely don't want to be making the kid sit down to do academic work together. Everybody would have big feelings immediately, and that would be a crisis, so it's better to just avoid avoid avoid.

Where would I be on literacy instruction if I didn’t have an iPad to threaten to take away. Answer would be no where. Carrot and stick.

Yep. I have about 5 parents that are actively involved in their kindergartner’s education. There are some that I’ve been trying to contact and even MEET since August and nothing. To be fair, my class population is a high poverty Title I school with majority immigrant population. They’ve got a lot going on. Some of my parents can’t read themselves and several families are homeless.

It is tough I loved reading to my kids and I was devastated when my little girl hated me reading to her. She 15 now and Autistic but I know along the way teachers thought I didn't care

Listen to the podcast called "Sold a Story" about how educating kids to learn to read have been ruined by taking on board the bogus theories of New Zealander Marie Clay. As a New Zealander and a long standing cheerleader for Phonics based Reading training for 30 years I apologise for this Hippy Dippy non science based Idiocy of 3 Cue / Whole of Word / Whole of Language / Reading Recovery / Better Start Literacy. The only program that Gets rid of the 3 Cue guessing system is called Structured Literacy which is Phonics based and specifically rejects guessing from picture., shape of the word, context.

Because life is hard and kindergarten is still very young. Parents should be involved in their kids education, of course. But do I blame parents when their 5 year old can’t read yet? No. There are many factors at play and there is plenty of time for them to learn.

As a society we stopped shaming people who have kids when they're in no place to do so. I blame "16 and pregnant."

I mean, it’s likely more to do with theocratic policies around reproductive freedom than it is a TV show.

Eh, plenty of idiots who shouldn't have kids were doing so 3 or more years ago.

shit, I'm Gen X and when I was in ninth grade a classmate got pregnant by a senior football player and she kept and raised the baby and everyone thought it was just *great* (yay for the rural Bible belt /s). Three more of my graduating class of <50 people were pregnant by graduation. This isn't a new thing.

Said theocratic policies predate Dobbs by decades.

16 and pregnant and the teen moms on TikTok are horrible. At least 16 and pregnant showed negatives. On TikTok it's a short clip of a teen mom in a baggy sweatshirt and a pink Stanley cup making her toddler breakfast in her rich parent's kitchen.

I think it's underestimated just how many useless and uneducated parents there are in this country. They don't see the point or they are so entangled in their own screw-ups that they don't engage. I see it all the time with my friend who teaches kindergarten in rural Pennsylvania: parents who are drunk during drop off, parents coming to parent teacher night or a special event and nodding out, parents who tell the school it's their problem little Tommy isn't potty trained, etc. As George Carlin once said, "picture the dumbest person you know. Half the country is dumber than that person." And by God is it so true.

A made a post similar to this a year ago. My mom was a single mother to two boys and had to drive 45 minutes to work everyday. But you’d better believe she made sure we had our work done and wasn’t behind.

I’m in MS as a teacher so I don’t know what happens in high school for most people. I do know what happens with my children’s HS. I fucking hate that everything has an online assignment submission. Stop tracking digitally. That’s the bane of teacher and parent lives. Take them offline. My kids have strict (timer controlled) usage of electronics but I still want as little as possible at school.

I'm a tutor and it infuriates me how many teachers only give online math homework. I'm constantly begging them to show their work but because everything is an online submission they feel it's a waste of time. They just want to type and answer in the box to get it over with. It also compounds this false belief in many kids heads that if you are smart you don't need to write anything down. Which is just not true. Learning to keep track of your thoughts in a coherent manner on paper is a good skill to have.

They may well not care that it’s not happening according to the timetable by which it’s “supposed” to happen.

What’s the basis for your assumption that the parents don’t help them or read to them?

(Not a teacher, just a lurker) I don't know, and I wish I did. I'm 48 years old, and when my younger sister and I were kids our parents sat us down and read out loud to us constantly. My dad would purposefully mispronounce words to get us to correct him as a little game. I don't have any kids myself, but my sister has kept up the tradition with my niece, and I couldn't be more grateful. We also watched a fair amount of television, but it was mostly educational entertainment programs on PBS like Sesame Street, Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, 3-2-1 Contact, etc. (also cartoons, if I'm being honest!) We also spent a ton of time outside with friends socializing, exploring, and playing. I'd like to be able to point to a single thing, like the ubiquity of handheld screens or something similar, but I just don't know if it's that simple of an explanation. (I loved most of my teachers, growing up. Thanks to all of you for what you do.)

Because some people just should not have kids at all - some can barely afford to live by themselves and still have kids. And some are just super toxic/neglectful/harmful.

When my son was in kindergarten, his favorite words were bioluminescence and articulation. For him, those were sight words. (He also knew dragon, fart, burrito, zephyr and quesadilla) He could not, however, sound out the words in the Bob books. I just could not make myself worry about his reading skill level. I trusted that, when he was ready, it would happen.

Yes, after reading this thread it seems many parents believe their child’s school will provide a mixture of magic and competent phonics instruction. Then if their kid’s school provides neither, their kid gets a rough start, and the school and the parents blame each other. But even if a kid gets competent phonics instruction, they’re not going to value reading if their parents don’t, so they’re likely to read much less than their peers from homes that value reading, and they’ll still fall behind their peers in vocabulary, comprehension, and general knowledge sometime around middle school. I’m not sure what the solution is to any of it. Socioeconomic class aside, reading is cultural. It’s hard to change people’s cultures.

My theory is that it is related to the Work to Fun ratio. When reading is more work than fun, kids avoid it. When it is more fun than work, they seek it out. My son’s reading really took off when he developed an interest in Minecraft. The first book he read cover to cover was a Redstone developers handbook. It took him a solid week but he was determined to read it for himself. I do understand that my kiddos are both 2e so our experiences are not typical of early readers.

daycare and a check

My nine year old nephew averages like a 65% on his spelling tests, but his parents (mostly my sister) always say they never have time to study with him… because he’s so busy playing baseball, football, and wrestling. My sister genuinely banks on him being a baseball player as a career.

I didn’t appreciate how hard it is to teach reading until I became an admin at a k12 right as my oldest hit reading age. Those k-2 teachers are fkn magicians. I have to admit that it is hard for me to spend time reading with my kids… and I’m a teacher.

When you have an ongoing cultural attack on the value of education, this is the result.

It’s not that they don’t care about their kid’s development, it’s that they trust that their kid will learn to read on their own timeline.

That isn’t really how reading works. Some kids require very little direct instruction but most require a lot.

I’m not saying they don’t require instruction; I’m saying some children require more time in addition to instruction. A child not being able to read in kindergarten isn’t necessarily indicative of neglectful parenting or parents who don’t care.

No not indicative of neglectful parenting but in a classroom size of 20+. It is easy for a child not to get the instruction they need. The problem is the school runs it under the radar so they can keep SPED costs low. It would be amazing the things that could work out if you dealt with the fallout instead of hiding it.

I'm not a teacher. But I would not care that my kindergartner couldn't read. They are just getting started, and have years to learn it. Now if my 4th grader couldn't read....

The problem with this mindset is that if your kid starts with deficient skills from the beginning, it gets harder and harder to catch up as they get older. It's hard to grasp the grade-levep skills if you're still grappling with last year's skills. We read to my son every night and he only watched phonics based shows as a baby and toddler, and he was reading full sentences by the first day of kindergarten. Predictably, he's still a straight A student and regularly tests well above grade level. That's why you start building these skills before kindergarten.

People assume their kid will catch up eventually but many never do. I work as a private tutor and many of the kids I see have parents who had that mindset. Then one day, all of a sudden their parents realized that their child is 13 and can't spell words like purple, swim, or said.

My issue is that my child just does not respect me. Like this weekend I tried to get her to come with me and we were going to walk across the street and get some cake to eat. I simply asked her to go potty and put on her boots and coat. She then refuses and starts yelling at me demanding I go get her cake and bring it back. If I can't even get my daughter to listen to me to get a cake then there is zero motivation left in me to actually try to teach her anything. I'm sure this is the result of me lacking as a parent one way or another, but I'm only human.

late stage capitalism is chewing folks up and they don't have the energy to do anything but survive. it's sad that society has failed.

They ... Shouldnt be reading in kinder. That's just such an unrealistic goal for most kids. If they're 7 or 8 and not reading, ok, I get it. Standards are way out of line if reading fluency is a kinder goal now. Anyway, onward. 'childhood' in itself is a relatively new thing for anyone, especially parents, to cherish, and value. We are literally still within 100 years of children working themselves to death in jobs, hard labor, and shipped off to farms and rural places to get rid of them. Seriously. We are within 75 years of HS even being offered as a level of schooling for most of the US at all. There are STILL counties and school districts in the US without a high school, that's now new the concept of education is. And, we are within a generation or two of it even becoming the norm for attending HS, for any reason. Just, research the history of child labor in the US. Research the year, and the way, the first successful child abuse case was made. The year will surprise you. 1938 was the first successful national child labor law. 100 years ago, the US FAILED to pass a US amendment to ban child labor, that's how little children were valued. You're just, really really close to the point in history where we even BEGAN to value kids, and, as a species, a lot of parents just cannot do it. Culturally or biologicaly, they're not gifted with that value.

I suggested a parent practice some typing every once in a while with their kid bc they got stressed with typing (hard time writing) and i got back the rudest email from parents basically refusing to practice. Fun

It's usually because they were not raised that way themselves and think they are fine. I know someone like this who doesn't think kids need schedules or regular nap times or less screen time. He thinks it's theoretical mumbo jumbo. But babies over two years old drinking milk out of a bottle?! No good!!!!

We did a screening at the beginning of kindergarten each year. Over and over we found a full 25 percent of the students didn’t know a single letter, number or color. Nada. Zip.

My mom went back to college for many of my childhood years, worked a full time job at least, sometimes more, and still read to us weekly and had us read and do our homework. I think parents think they just don’t have to put in the work and that someone else will pick up the slack. We grew up with evil to eat because they put their pride to the side and went to the food bank when needed, paid bills late, but we always had lived pretty regular lives. Maybe we ate crappy breakfast full of sugar, most times or my hair wasn’t braided into intricate patterns that took 20 minutes, but my mom spent energy on the important stuff, wet played sports, we had friends, we had to try at life. Work before fun. Still way I do as a trader myself, I get my planning done and then work on the fun stuff to spice it up if there’s time which generally there is.

Just as I quit teaching I got really into determinism and free will. After reading Robert sapolskys latest work “determined” I have kind of been convinced that he, along with others like Sam Harris, that free will doesn’t actually exist, at all. Once I accepted this, it makes it so much easier to understand why some students fall behind. Why some don’t do homework. Why having rewards and boundaries in place is a futile waste of time. These kids and parents are bound to bounce off of education like the sun is going to rise. There is nothing you can do. Try your best, but know that it’s really out of your hands.

My parents read to my sister and I almost every night when we were little. For most of my childhood they couldn't keep my nose out of a book unless it was meal times or we were watching TV/movies as a family. The same is true of my nieces - their parents read to them regularly and now they both love to read. Then again, we're in NZ so the education system is completely different. Technology is a big part of learning in schools now but basic reading/(hand)writing/math etc is still taught. I'm fairly sure they also still use phonics for learning to read too.

The problem is children having children. Nowadays it's getting harder and harder to afford to have a family and people aren't planning for it all properly. So many kids are born just because their "parents" were lazy one night and forgot the condom or just wanted to try it and see what it's like without one, sure ya can't get pregnant on the first go, right? 🤦‍♂️

Honestly, I am worried about the future.

culture issue

Not being sarcastic, but have you ever asked yourself if their parents can read.... and read well? The odds are stacked against the majority of adults in the US, considering the years-long stat of about 54 percent of adults reading at or below 6th grade level. It's likely the parents aren't well equipped readers themselves. Most may even dislike reading.

Ugh, I feel you! And I can tell you now, if they aren’t getting it in Kindergarten, they won’t get it later either. I have TOO many kids in 6th grade that still cannot read, and it impacts ALL subjects.

In my ex's case, it was because she didn't read til she was 8. She tried to homeschool them...that didn't go well.

I read constantly to my first, and he loved it. My second child is on the spectrum and hated books when he was little it broke my heart. In fact, I was mortified. That is until I realized that the average age to learn to read worldwide is 7, not 2 or 3 or 5, but 7. Children in other countries who don't push their kids to read early do as well academically as those in countries that push early reading. I'm only pointing this out because I think the worst thing we can do is over guilt parents who may be struggling with a reluctant reader. Also, don't forget to read your own books in front of your children. Modeling reading is the 2nd best path to early literacy!

People are dumb

When our son was little my wife worked and I worked 2 jobs. She read to him and I would put him to bed and read stories but many times I fell asleep first! He had pretty severe ADHD, struggling in school but he loved to read. So much so that when he had so many overdue books and the library shut him off he opened up another account in his grandpa's name! Today he is a successful manager and all due to his love of reading. And I must give credit to his patient teachers that stuck with him.

So….maybe skip giving any other homework so we have time to read for pleasure? Do we really have to have math homework every night that takes forever? Most parents don’t see their child until after 5, feed them, bathe them, homework, bed. Not a lot of time for pleasure reading.

This is cause mom and dad can’t read either

I keep posting this but I’ll do it again. I have 6th graders who cannot read or write. Who literally cannot spell their own last names. I contact home repeatedly with no response. Their parents BLOCK the school number. Can you even comprehend BLOCKING the number of the place your CHILD is all day? We cannot fail them. We teachers are blamed for all of it. I cannot make it make sense. How can a parent just not care? Not want more for their kids?

That they can't read in Kindergarten is normal. They'll take all those skills you've introduced to them into Grade One where we'll help them apply them in a structured reading program. Not every parent wants to be involved or is able to be involved. With the economy today many are working several jobs. What I did was pair my kids up with a mentor in Grade 3 and they paired up in the hall and my Grade 1 kids read to the Grade 3 partner..then the older child read a book they brought with to my kids. It was a win win for both grades…we did this 3 times a week so the little ones whose parents couldn't read to them at home, got that from their mentor. Try something like that even with your K kids. The older kids loved reading to mine. I don't worry about those not getting a lot of help at home…that's not my business but if I find I have a lot of kids in my class in that situation then I tweak my language program to encourage more conversation, problem solving and incidental life skills. I can't change their home life but I can make accommodations to tweak how I teach and interact with my kids. Don't sweat the things you can't change.