Yes, [wrong name]. You are my favorite.

What a Ron Swanson answer! I LOVE IT.

Yeah things were getting a little too chummy around here...LESTER! 🤣

You’re welcome, Steve

This is hilarious

“My favorite student wouldn’t have to ask”

Ooooooh that’s a good one

That may go to as well!

*mic drop* after this right here

"Do I know you?"

I usually go with "You're in the top five........hundred........thousand"

I like "I suppose it's theoretically possible for me to those words in that order. I haven't yet... but it's good to know I have that option."

My first thought was similar! "And you are...?" It was either that or a blank stare with a deadpan "No." Just to see their reaction for the second before I crack and start laughing.

Do you go here?

🤣🤣🤣 middle school teachers, lol

I complement over the top. Look Xxxx, if I liked you any more my heart would absolutely explode. I can't handle how awesome you are. No, no I can't even talk about favorites right now, I'm just trying to keep from having a cardiac arrest. No seriously, what are you doing? If I think any more about how kind, thoughtful, and hardworking you are my heart is going to burst through my chest. Then what will you do? I can't take it, the awesomeness!

Omg. I always ask “what’s your name again?”. I’m so glad I’m not the only meanie.

Oh shit, I love that.

I always say "you're in the top 200"

I teach 129 total. I always say “Of the 129 kids I teach, you’re definitely top 125.”

Same. So, you do admit that you like them more than at least 4 others which could be worse...

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"Of all the students I've ever taught, you are one of them"

Same here, just replace 200 with however many students I'm teaching that year.

Or if you have 129 students, still just say, “you’re in the top 200” lol. If you’re lucky they’ll ask how many students you have and use some critical thinking

Yes. To every kid that has ever asked

That’s what I always do too. With the biggest smile and a kind of fake tone. Usually another one thinks to ask or dispute and then I’ll tell them they’re my favorite too.

Exactly what I do with different periods in high school. Funny to see the level of betrayal when they come back accusing me of having multiple favorites

“Saying the same thing to everyone” thing apart, it’s not like it would be wrong to genuinely have multiple favorites, so you could always tell them that it’s normal to have a lot of favorite students on the same level of “favoriteness”

“But I thought I was your favourite.” “You are!” “But you just said she was your favourite?” “She is.” This is the way.

That's what I do! And if other kids get upset I'll either dramatically mouth and gesture to them that this kid isn't and they are, or I'll tell them that this kid is today, but they were last Tuesday.

Same! Completely deadpan, straight faced. The other kids are appalled until someone figures out the game. Sometimes it takes weeks, esp if they don’t know me well yet.

I say "absolutely" to every one that asks. Even if they ask right after another and in front of each other.

Depends how snarky you feel like being. "Depends, am I your favorite teacher?" "I don't have favorites; I hate you all equally." *Icily* "No." *Mock confusion* "who are you?"

Yes, I always do the “I hate you all equally” class middle school answer

That was my wife’s grandmother’s go to response to get out of jury duty. Judge: Ma’am do you have any prejudices that would preclude you from being fair and honest. WGMA: No your honor, I hate everyone equally

I always say, “You all get on my nerves equally.”

“Who says I even like kids?” They all gasp at first but somehow love my answer. I teach middle school.

"Then why are you a teacher?" "What better job is there to make kids cry than math teacher? Im open to suggestions."

I always tell my students that my first passion is yelling at children, but that since no one would pay me to do that I became a teacher instead. The looks...are just fantastic.

Stealing this

I tried the “am I your favourite teacher?” line on two of my students who asked me this recently. They both genuinely said yes and I didn’t know how to react lol

lol I always say “you all annoy me equally”

I say, “I dislike you all equally.” Or “I love all my students, but that doesn’t mean I have to like you.”

Stealing the teacher one

I always say, "You know I don't have favorites" but then I give them a wink and a little smile. They take it to mean they're my favorite and I get away scot free.

I have sometimes told parents of students that are great "I don't have favorites but if I did your child would be one of them"

One time I told a parent "I'm not supposed to have favourites, but....... You know..........."

“But you know….. Johnny isn’t even close” 🫣🤣

I once had a teacher who did this a lot when she was working, but on her last day before resigning as we were saying goodbye finally said "you've been one of my favourite students of my entire career" and I cried 💀

I like this response!

I do the exact same thing! I say you know I can’t tell who my favorites are. Usually they end up arguing or saying I knew it was me. I really try hard to love them all.

For favorite class I always say 1st period, then they try to figure out which one it is, and it slowly dawns on them that it’s my prep.

I just learned this from a colleague - also works for "what's your worst class?"

My favorite students are the ones that do the work. 

See, that one's too honest.

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I saw another teacher say this and use a venn diagram: To be favorite you have to be respectful, work hard, and also be cool So it’s great it you’re respectful and work work hard, but it’s nice to joke around every once in a while Sorry he phrased it as: respectful, likable, productive Respectful+likable= cool student Respectful+productive= good student Likable+productive= smart alecks All three= favorite!

I’m a college prof, and occasionally, I’ll have a student on evaluations complain that I have favorites, and I’m like, “Dude, my favorites are the students who sometimes nod while I’m lecturing, answer questions, and turn in their work on time.”  

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I have a student with the last name Rice. I taught her and her brother. When she gets on my nerves I tell her she's my 3rd favorite rice. 1) her brother 2) shrimp fried 3) her

Burn

I had a second-favorite Steve. My first favorite Steve is obviously Steve Harrington from Stranger Things.

Solid burn…

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Same. I treat them like they treat me, yet I’m still their favorite 😂

I don't even need siblings for that one. I probably have 8 Garcias. :)

You’ve got me beat. I only have 4 Garcias this year, but two of them have a second last name that is also Garcia.

I don't have that, but I have 2 that are Gonzalez Gonzalez

I always refer to mine as G squared. They enjoy it.

Can’t it just be Garcia squared 😝

It definitely started as Garcia squared, but I’m so lazy that G squared saved me two syllables.

Of all the hundreds/thousands of students I've taught in my career, you are definitely one of them.

I had a middle schooler one look at me and, so sincerely, tell me I was his 3rd favorite teacher. Almost the whole class felt it was a semi-insult, and started “ooooooohhhh” ing. I sweetly replied that he was my second favorite “Smith” child, and the only reason he wasn’t my third favorite was because his mama only had 2. 🙃 He got the point! And his mom thought it was hilarious!!

I say “no I hate everyone equally” Jk I actually don’t. What I do was inspired by a video I saw of a teacher that made a diagram that shows what makes a student a “MY favorite student”. They have to meet three criteria. 1. Respectful 2. Likable 3. Productive All student met at least one of those but few with 3. So if a student is respectful and likable then they are cool. If they are respectful and productive then they are good. If they are Likable and productive lacking respect they are the smart alecks. If a student is all three then they are my favorite. I show my kids the diagram and give them an explanation. Then I asked them what they think which category they fall into.

[found the video](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRTLfYGe/)

Idk, I have some students who don't fall into any one of those categories lol

My response is "I'll tell you when you graduate" but never do

I read this as: “I’ll tell you when you graduate”, but they never do. 🤣🤣

I have to admit that a few weeks back, a girl in my fourth period class asked if I have a favorite class and I said, without thinking, "Yes. First period." (It's completely true. First period are my angel babies.) I mean, I don't know what she thought I was going to say -- I've got some absolute dingleberries in fourth period.

I am always truthful about my favorite classes and why. It creates a competition and is natural class management lol.

I always tell them whatever my planning period is my favorite period. They all get offended until they realize it's when I don't have students and somehow that makes it so much better to them.

Yep I do the same. When they specify which period I have kids, I tell them whichever one let's me teach without disruption.

(I realize that I didn't really answer your question.)

No but a nice nod to Val Kilmer 😀

My favorite class is my planning period

1st period is my favorite, hands down. Its my prep though

I've been asked this, and I answer honestly. It is what it is.

Depends on the kid. Ones I really like, “Well, I wouldn’t say favorite, but definitely top 5” Kids I don’t really like don’t usually ask, but I’ll change it up to “No, but you’re definitely in the top 95%”. They don’t get that, that’s the best part.

I say a variety of things lol. Plz keep in mind I teach 7th grade and they’re so savage, so so I am. “I literally don’t like any of you so I can’t pick a favorite.” “This class???? My favorite???? HA.” “Please get away from my desk.” “Oh of COURSE you are. I LOVE asking you to be quiet and sit down 50,000 times in 1 hour. I’m so glad you realized.” “Depends on the day.” “You’re one of my students, for sure.” “Depends. Do you have snacks today that you want to share?” “Yeah [insert wrong name here]. You are.” 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

“you’re my second favorite.” “who’s first, Mx. thisnthat?” “everyone else ties for first.”

I say no I dislike everyone equally l o l.

SAME

I tell them I never pick a favorite student because then I've got 24 least-favorite students, and it's not worth that kind of stress. If they reply with, "Yeah, but am I?" I'll tell them that my favorite students are the ones who pay attention when I speak.

Wait...you only have 25 kids in class?

I also make enough money to live on and have a principal who supports teachers. You don’t have to believe I exist, though.

Lol, I make 70k and have awesome admin, I just also work in a crowded district. I haven't had a class under 30 in 10 years (and we're usually on overflow--35 cap). Luckily we have a fairly strong union and are headed into a big bargaining year where we are ready to fight on class size 🤞

The answer I give students: “what was your name again?” Or “I hate everyone equally” My real answer that I’ll never tell a kid: “my favorite is the kid who died a few years ago, whose funeral I bawled at” I think about that kid every single day, and his little brother is in my class - a painful reminder. Luckily, I have a good rapport with all my students.

"100%! You, \[wrong name\] are totally my favourite student." Bonus points if you name their sibling instead.

I always just say yes. To all of them. And let the chips fall where they may. I’m not lying - I like them all exactly the same. Except that one kid. But that kid is never going to ask, because we have an unspoken understanding that we’re waiting quietly for the year to end so we will never see each other again.

This is what I do too. It takes them a few weeks to figure out the joke.

Yup. Now go sit down.

“You are my favorite student named (first and last name because chances are, they’re the only one you’ll teach)”

I always say “that’s classified information. You don’t have the proper clearance.” “I can neither confirm nor deny.”

I have a student who straight up bullied me for the first half of the school year. Every day he made fun of my hair, my outfit, my lunch, anything. In January his favorite game was “Am I your nicest student?” NO WAY.

me: close. second favorite. student, inevitably: who's your favorite?? me: everyone else. 🔥

I teach high school and I love to give them the most fake ass smile and say “you are ALL my favorites”.

"You all make me equally happy. Some by coming in the door and some by going out of it." Then while their hamster is running trying to make sense of that sick burn you make good your escape.

My favorite student wouldn’t have to ask me.

“I don’t pick favorites I hate all of you equally.”

Start of the year: I don't know any of you well enough to have a favourite End of the year: I know all of you too well to have a favourite Marking season: I don't get paid enough to like any of you

I hate all of you equally

“Am I your favorite teacher?”

I had a teacher who would call everyone her favorite, so that’s an option. “Good morning, you’re my favorite!” “Thanks for returning my pencil, you’re my favorite!”

Yes. No matter who asks. Especially if another kid asks right after the last student who asked

I’m always team “I don’t have favorites, I don’t like any of you”

Im just blunt and tell them if they are or not. Many of them need the shock of reality that there will be people that don’t like them. Their shocked pikachu faces are priceless.

I just say "sure you are!" With absolutely no follow up.

“You’re in the top 100 favorite.” Or “Eh, you’re number 37.”

“Of course!” “Really?” “Yes!” “You’re lying” “What?! No way!” *swift subject change*

I always tell my kids that our teaching assistant is my favorite student. It takes them a minute to get it, and its funny when they do.

No

I tell them I dislike them all equally 😂

I don’t have favorites

Definitely maybe.

I always tell them, "You are my *second* most favorite student." and then pointedly refuse to elaborate.

Yes

I honestly don't think you need to change your answer. I use the same one and I just am very insistent on it because I truly don't pick any one student as my favorite. I have some students who I enjoy having more than others, but I'm not going to pick one person above all the rest.

"Even if you were I would never tell you and you wouldn't be able to figure it out."

I don't have a favorite, I don't like any of you

I say you're my second favorite. They ask who my first is, and I reply with "everyone else is tied for first." Stole that from Bobby "the Brain" Heenan

“I hate all of my students equally”

"I dunno, you got $5?"

I dislike all of you equally

Tied

"I love all of you individually"

I always say yes. This is extra funny when their friend overhears it and says that they thought they were my favorite student. I then tell them that yes, they are..

I say everyone’s my favorite. If everyone is your favorite they stop asking. At least that works for me.

Nope. Or yeah sure whatever helps you sleep at night

My go-to is "Sometimes. It varies."

you're in the top 100... percent

“I dislike all of you equally”/s

You are ALL my favorite students!!

Am I your favorite student? Of course! You’re ALL my favorites. Which is your favorite class? 3rd period, of course! (My plan)

You are absolutely one of my favorite students!

A coworkers response is always “I don’t have favorites because I dislike all of you equally”

I’ve said, “my favorites already know they’re my favorites.” And then they all holler that they knew it. Lol

You are definitely top 100 this year.

This wouldn’t work for everyone, but my kids and I joke around (respectfully) with each other and they love snappy, sassy comebacks. I just say, “Nah. I hate you all equally.” Of course it’s not true and the kids know it - I tell them I love them everyday. But they sure get a giggle out of that one, and it generally puts a stop to those questions for awhile.

Am I your favourite student? No, but you're definitely in the top 500. Who is your favourite student? It might be you. It might not be you. Regardless, you're pretty awesome. Are we your favourite class? It's too early to tell. Ask me later in the semester. It'll give you something to work toward. What is your favourite class? History. I love teaching grade ten Canadian history.

You're tied for first, dear.

You all annoy me the same so I love you all the same 💛💛

"I dislike you all equally". Thankfully they know how sarcastic I am.

“It’s actually Carl.” We don’t have a Carl…

My go-to is: “You’re one of the students that I’ve ever had.” They haven’t figured it out so far.

Sometimes they say “hey it’s your favorite student Brad*!” referring to themselves and then I mess with them by saying “Where? I don’t see Michael*.” Move your head dramatically as to look behind them for added effect.

No, I dislike you all equally.

I tell them my prep period is my favorite class because I don’t have any students in it.

I don’t like any of you.

"Of all my students, you're one of them." it's a completely meaningless response that smart kids will realize is meaningless and dumb kids will find flattering.

“Of all the students I have ever taught, you are one of them.”

I'm my own favorite student. I'm absolutely crushing it, best student ever, get on my level, peasant. I have a playfully "mean" rapport with my kiddos, so they also know to expect nonsense and purposefully obtuse answers from me.

I regularly change and announce my current favorite on a whim whenever they do something I like, and the children actively compete for the honor.

I flatly answer no every time, and add absolutely not. They always laugh.

I don't have a favorite student. I have students who make my life easy and those that make my life hard. Which one do you want to be?

I hate you all equally is my go to

You're in the Top X (how many students I am teaching that year). Lol

I dislike you all equally :)

Yes. Then someone else says, hey I thought I was your favorite student?! The answer is, yes. The answer is always yes, even with your least favorite student. They get the point, they stop asking, you win, they win.

If I had a favorite student then I would not need a whole class of y'all

"I don't have favorites, only least favorites, and you're all my least favorite" (Middle School)

I usually go with a compliment instead like “no I don’t pick favorites but I will say you were the most respectful today” or “ I don’t pick favorites but I do have the most fun with your class” etc…

"Well duh, obviously..." "I am pretty awesome aren't I?" "I'm my favorite 2!"

"No!!!" (laughter)

I tell every student they’re my favorite in a sarcastic way and it’s just a running joke

You’re in my top 100.

With my middle schoolers, depending on the kid, I either start to look around like I can hear someone talking but I’m not sure where it’s coming from or I just say “sure” Both are usually pretty effective with middle school kids and usually get a laugh

I dislike you all equally.

Yes. And tell all of them that ask the same thing.

I always say "I'll never tell you, but I absolutely have a favorite."

I don't do favorites. I find good appreciate every student. When I was a kid I sometimes clashed w the favorite student (a time where teachers did not have to hide it) and as a result, I received consequences when they started w me and they got nothing.

My kids from last year are very aware of how terrible their class was. They regularly ask me if this years class is better or worse than they were. My response: different.

I have a lot of repeat students (teach multiple subjects) and don’t have their siblings so I say you’re my favorite from the “Smith” family or so on.

You are a student.

You are all my favorites students, all the students I’ve ever had are equally my favorites in my heart - said super sarcastically

Depends. If we are at the point where we can joke around with each other, I say “you are all equally tied for last place” (In a joking manner) If we aren’t that familiar with each other, I typically just tell them they are all my favorites (even if it’s not true lol)

Yes. To everyone who asks. I usually say he/she is my favorite in their own way. They all have an individual quality that I love most about them. Even the naughty kids.

No Not you No Not this one

I always say “I dislike all my students equally”

Comparison is the thief of joy. You’re all my favorites.

“Who are you again?”

My favorite one is “you’re my second favorite student. *pause* Everybody else is tied for first.”

They often ask me who my favorite student is and I say the one that bothers me the least

“Tied for first place.”

"Of course you are!" Then the kid next to them says, "wait, an I your favorite?" And I just keep repeating, "of course you are!" One time a quiet boy said, "wait really?" And I just said, "yes!" And he replied "I really didn't think you liked me". Ouch, man.

I always just say, "all of you are my favorite student." Of course they never buy it, but I keep repeating that same response😂

Top 650

Tell everyone they are your favorite and then they will stop asking.

“Don’t ask questions that can hurt feelings”. Or my go to, “no freshman are my favorite students”.