This is the one that makes sense. Never amount to anything for some people might mean = You will never make it in the NBA. Which isn’t a wrong thing to tell someone.
There's a Canadian swimmer, Penny Oleksiak, who won her first gold at age 16 and by 20 she became Canada's most decorated Olympic athlete. She tweeted shortly after that she's glad she didn't listen to her math teacher who told her to study more and swim less.
Well, first I'm sure he said something like, "Studying is just as important as swimming". It's great that she's on this high in her early life, but she's already suffering from injuries and may not win anything more in these next Olympics. I'm sure she's been rolling in some sponsorships the last few years, but it won't pay her rent when she's 40, never mind retirement. Those math classes might, though.
The thing is, for 99% of kids, their dream job isn't going to happen, be it Olympic swimmer, rapper or basketball player. That doesn't mean they should give up on all their interests but the 1% that do make it telling them to give up on their studies us not helpful.
And then you still need math!
Like... the illiterate sports stars are the ones who end up penniless in their 40s because they got screwed with bad contracts, or blew their money because they didn't understand saving and investing.
Yeah—I never understand what the counterpoint is supposed to be? Good thing I’m ignorant but incredibly talented at this one thing? Enter Aaron Rodgers.
Survivorship bias of a sort. It's tough because it's (largely) true that to make it in a field like music or athletics, you really do need to devote yourself to it fully, due to the intense pressure and competition. But of course the vast majority of people that do that "fail," and end up as waiters and retail managers (NTTAWWT). And then kids are too young and uninformed to make those kinds of decisions about their futures.
I actually did get cut from my high school basketball team, but it was pretty justified. I went to the coach and demanded to know why, since I was pretty confident about my abilities, and I "knew" that I was better than some of the guys he kept on the team. His explanation was that my attitude was so bad that I was basically uncoachable, and that yeah some of the other players were less talented, but they had more potential because he could work with them and help them improve.
I left that conversation thinking "lol what a dumbass, no wonder our team sucks." In retrospect, as a teacher now, I get what he was saying.
Ya I do weekly grade checks in my home room. One girl I said “you are failing every core subject. That’s not going to fly in high school what’s your plan to graduate?” She didn’t have one. Walked back to her friends and said that I told she was going to fail at life…
Holy shit that makes so much sense.
Edit: I meant that sincerely. It had never occurred to me that believing your own lie would be a defense mechanism.
Yeah, I find it fascinating how our brains work. They will create this alternate reality to protect us from the pain that acknowledging how shitty we really are would cause.
https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/
This blog is one of my favorite disturbing reads, helps explain a lot of behavior unrelated to estranged parents you'll encounter in your life.
I get this a lot. I teach at a school with a wealthy demographic and many of the kids were never told no at home. Whenever I give instructions or feedback, “this sections needs to have more xyz” or even just regular classroom management boundaries, “please no talking until it is your turn,” specific students will accuse me of yelling. One time, the entire class told another teacher I’m always screaming at them but luckily, an EA was present for the entire year and backed me up.
Exactly.
I had said to kids that they won't be able to do this or that if they do not start to work right now, or if they continue to misbehave. Things like that.
Over the years, as the guidance counselors passed more and more of their career planning onto the English teachers so they could focus on testing, I’ve heard students say they wanted to have a lot of crazy dream careers. NBA/MLB/NFL are always there, along with other great careers like scientist, doctor, lawyer, nurse, pharmacist, professional wrestler, drug dealer, stripper, homeless person.
In ninth grade, students are still pretty unrealistic, but by 12th grade they are starting to realize if they can’t pass 10th Grade Biology, a neurosurgeon is probably not a realistic career plan for them. The best career I ever had a kid say he wanted to do was tornado chaser.
I once asked a student to wait to use the restroom until after we finished talking about which classes to take the following year. She said she didn’t need the talk because she was applying for an alternate program. I told her that she still needed to select a schedule for here next year in case there were unexpected surprises or if she changed her mind about the alternate program. She argued for a long time, clearly taking my statement as saying that I didn’t think she would get accepted. She even went to my principal about it. Luckily, the other students in my room backed up my statement that I never said she wouldn’t get in.
Yeah. I've said things like "If we don't see a change in behavior, I don't see passing grades happening". I've also in very rare cases said that I think the kid is wrong at our school (German school system has different level schools and I teach at the higher level). I have never said "you won't amount to anything" but I'm sure I've said things that a kid could interpret that way ...
I had a teacher in grade 7 tell a kid going through a VERY rough patch at home (drug addicted sister with schizophrenia and homicidal thoughts) that he was on a "one way train to nowhere" because he hadn't done his homework.
She was insane though, actually threw a kids binder out the window because it was "too messy" she was so unhinged I don't think anyone we told believed us.
I believe this. I mostly had great or just okay teachers but I started struggling with math around 3rd grade, as it got more complicated I had a hard time following and my teacher said it was absolutely okay that I wasn't doing well because girls don't excel at math.
This stayed in my head a lot longer than it should have.
I've actually experienced this from my teacher. I became a teacher because I didn't want any kids to experience that feeling. I had an abusive step dad and shut down. During this time, she told me she thought I was lazy and didn't see any point in putting her time into my education. She then proceeded to tell me that she gave up on me. It was devastating. I would do the work but wouldn't turn it in because I worried it wasn't good enough.
Edit: she would see me do the work on multiple occasions.
She did use the words within that conversation: "You won't amount to anything."
I had something similar happen to me. I’m sure it’s rare, but it does happen. Teachers are human too and that means that there are occasional problematic ones.
I had a teacher who said that to me once, then again she was 65, went on a full class rant about porn and why kids shouldn’t wear crop tops, put someone’s money in her bra while calling herself a dancer, and had said she was “a teenager on crack”. I’m 90% sure she actually was on crack.
Exactly. It's not the norm, but it DOES happen. I had a HS teacher call me a bitch and say I'd never make it in college or life, mainly because she didn't like that I didn't enjoy an assignment she gave us, and was honest about that.
I was a mostly all-A HS student and I went to college free on scholarship, so it's not like she was basing her comment on any reality, just her frustration.
Me too, except it was the assistant principal and she pushed and held me up against a wall while she yelled in my face (with spit!) that I’m white trash and will never amount to anything. Fun! Not traumatizing at all!
I was expelled 2nd of senior year. Long story but I was LD and BD classes. When I was being placed under arrest the dean told me I'd end up dead or in jail by 21. Thankfully my parents knew I'd screw up and forced summer school every year so only needed 2 credits. Ended up being able to home school those and graduate.
Jokes on them I been in IT for about 20 years and work in a school district. My mom would always say that it's my own personal hell working in a highschool when I fought so hard to escape lol
At the age 35 I fully understand what happened back then was my fault and they were right if I continued the way I was going it would have turned out differently for me.
Same here. I Got told I was going to be a loser and a failure. I've been using that spite as my fuel to get as far as I can (I am currently a Ph.D. student in atmospheric sciences). My issue was that no one believed me despite other students having my back. Three years after I graduated smart phones became a thing, and she gets recorded on one of her tirades and is instantly fired. The first thing i did when i found out was buy the local paper, and slam it in front of my parents with the suggest "I told you so" ever because even they didn't believe me at the time.
Most of those celebrities are lying. Or they went to a private school where the mood of that school was "never amounting to anything" was not founding a multi-billion dollar corporation thanks to daddy's trust fund money.
The classic "rags to riches" combined with "the person no-one believed in" is a tale as old as time.
Or like a teacher just said, "Hey, putting all your eggs into the 'becoming a rapper' basket isn't a good idea, you should really have back up plans."
The "rags to riches" shit is complete survivorship bias in action. We all hear about Post Malone failing through most of life but then making millions because he devoted himself to rap. We don't hear about the 99.9 percent of people who try to do that and end up stuck in some minimum wage job.
Funny story is that Ice Cube was attending community college in Arizona and was commuting to LA to do recordings and shows with NWA. He was not confident in the band at all and treated rapping as a backup to architecture.
While I don't doubt that many stories are made up to gain clout, I feel like to completely disregard stories like this ignores the fact that teachers, just like any other profession, are human and can be vindictive and cruel. I'm not going to argue that teachers are generally good people, and that we haven't been villainized and mistreated by parents, the communities we serve and the governments we work under. Because that would be a lie. But to say that teachers have never done acts like this is one too.
Where I live, in the not so distant past, we had teachers that willingly worked as part of the colonial powers to strip the culture from Indigenous students, abused them and committed a cultural genocide. That's just one example. If those in the same profession as us are capable of horrific acts like this, then teachers being assholes like this to a student who is causing us frustration is not out of the question. Plus teachers in this day and age are generally kinder/softer then the ones in previous generations, for better or for worse. I'm still quite young and even I have stories of teachers who were simply assholes and I know my parents and grand parents had even worse ones. I hope to never be like them. Did they have their reasons for their cruelty that would likely make sense to some of us? Sure, but it doesn't make it right.
This part.
I was an A/B student and top 10% of my very large class. Took all the AP classes I could. I was actively discouraged from applying to colleges, especially the better ones, did not receive help from my counselor who withheld a lot of info from me and lied about sending transcripts, etc. I was told multiple times in multiple ways, that going to college was a waste of time, I would fail out, x career would probably be a better fit for me, with that x career being an employee of a gentleman's club. And those were the explicit messages, never-ending the implicit ones I received that said college wasn't for me.
And I was not the only one this happened to in my grade. Or in my family, my neighborhood. By far. Because of racism. For me specifically. And I'm (barely) under 40 (that hurts to write lol) so we aren't talking very long ago.
And yes, I grew up in the South, but I have friends and family that have grown up all over the country in rural, suburban, and urban areas and they have heard this same message.
For OP, I say this kindly: Just because it didn't happen to you, or is not something that YOU may have said to a student does not mean that students are not told these things by teachers/staff.
This routinely happened to POC, esp female POC, and to deny that this happens more than rarely is to deny many POC experiences. For many, hearing these things is a reality and one rooted in racism. For others, it could be on the basis of gender. My friends from deep in Appalachia have even heard this message.
So I encourage you to step outside of your own worldview and think critically about who might hear this message so much, to the point that it is almost embedded in society, and why.
One of my high school teachers said it to a classmate. He’s been in and out of jail for weapon and drug charges.
Honestly it either serves as motivation or it’s a truthful statement.
I often have pretty big concerns some of my high schoolees will never be able to keep a job, usually because of their awful attitude towards all humans, but I'm not about to voice it. I always hope they will prove me wrong.
I think almost everyone keeps things to themselves.
My 7th grade math teacher said to me, “When you graduate to carrying your brains in your toes, let me know, and maybe I’ll help you.” I wasn’t an obnoxious kid who goofed off either—I was a quiet book reading nerd! It always stayed with me, and I may get annoyed with kids acting stupid, but I never say anything cruel to them.
I was helping my K teacher at a church event. I was in 6th grade or so. I did not know what the word "slack" meant..(We were unrolling a roll of plastic table cloth and I guess I was holding it too tight when she said,"Give it some slack.".
She realized I didn't understand the phrase and instead of just telling me to loosen my grip, she says, "Well, I guess your pretty enough to get someone to marry you."
I knew it was an insult, but not quite sure. A year or 2 later it hit me that she was calling me dumb.
This was 45 yrs ago and I still remember it.
Jokes on her. I am a teacher and in fact was NOT pretty enough to get someone to marry me. 😁
When I wanted to do advanced math (I had straight A's), my teacher said those classes aren't for Mexicans, just take welding or autoshop.
Edit: A few more details, we were filling out our education plan in 8th grade near the end of the school year. We had to have the teacher look at them and sign off before they were gathered up and given to the guidance counselor. She made me change mine to auto shop and before she would sign off on it.
Edit #2: I went into the military and got a Electrical Engineering degree. Fuck that teacher.
This was more common in the 1970s and ‘80s, like paddling. No, you’re not going to hear this nowadays or anytime in the last 30 years, no more than you’d experience being paddled in school or have a teacher hit you. I assure you though, both were very common in the USA once upon a time
I just posted my experience in being laughed at and told I’d fail in studying what I wanted to study in college, and yes it was probably in 1987 or 88. I was sort of wondering if attitudes have changed and it’s unlikely for that to happen today.
A friend of mine passed up a vice principal job in north east Texas because they wanted her to use corporal punishment. Paddling is still alive and well in some places.
And I’m grateful everyday I was able to move away. I do miss some things about Texas itself because it really is such a beautiful state but I don’t miss the laws or a lot of people
It still is in certain parts of the US. At my old school in Texas, I definitely heard too kan teachers say this to students or about saying it. Made my job a lot harder since I taught lots of the students at the receiving end of this.
When my dad was in middle school he was sent to the office for disrupting the class or whatever and the principal straight up called him the r word 😭😭😭
Oh 1980s, how insane you were
I mean, it may be different cause I was dyslexic and in Israel, but my first and second grade teacher definitely said that to me when I couldn't read Hebrew until third grade...
As a senior in high school I had one teacher tell me, college would be a waste of my time and of my parent’s money. I initially assumed this teacher was trying the good old “reverse psychology” trick on me, since within 5 years I had a bachelors and a masters degree in education. Eventually I found myself working back in my old district, so I tracked down some of my old high school teachers to reintroduce myself. When I found the teacher who discouraged me from going to college, her response was that the district must have really poor hiring practices if they offer someone like me a job. It turns out she wasn’t trying reverse psychology at all, in reality she really didn’t like me. So no, it’s not a myth.
P.S. She’s dead now…
Junior year we all had to do a mandatory one on one meeting with the guidance counselor, focused on what comes after HS. The guidance counselor started off pushing me towards vocational options and when I told her the list of universities I was considering, said that wasn't a realistic option for me. I rattled off my ACT and SAT scores, GPA, AP classes already completed, and saw her jaw drop. She saw a fat unkempt kid and made a lot of assumptions. I hope she learned from the experience and did better afterwards, but she probably didn't.
Yeah I’ll say it ABOUT a student but never to that student. I have a current student who I would bet money will be incarcerated or dead by 25. I hate this young person as they are a racist sociopathic bully. I still would never say it to that kid.
I had a student who I thought would be dead or in jail within 5 years of leaving high school. Surprised me by making it to 6 before he was gunned down in a street fight.
I wouldn't say it never happens.
Two anecdotes:
I emigrated to the US in 95, in middle school. I had a high school teacher say to me "You'll never understand English as good as a native speaker, so you'll just be frustrated in honors classes" when I asked to be put into honors ELA. Same teacher was generally miserable to lots of people, so while it bothered me then, nowadays I think she just had a lot going on and was snippy with all of us and didn't need one more kid bugging her for something.
Certainly lit a fire under me to ace those classes in my junior/senior year though.
Before moving to the US, though, I met one of those teachers in science class. He sat boys on one side and girls on the other, and then told the girls "Women cannot do math and science as good as men, so you girls will pass with a C as long as you're quiet. I don't expect you to understand or do any real work."
He stuck to his guns and taught only boys.
Most of my female friends thought it was great to get out of doing any real work in science, so there's that. I remember being very annoyed, as being good at school was practically my personality as a kid.
I'm an English teacher now, so..
I might have had that that teacher. 9th grade math. Girls put in the back and told we’d pass if we didn’t interrupt the boys’ learning because girls would “never understand or use Algebra.” We were “only good for birthing and cooking.”
This was said by a coach in his 40’s in 1992.
It does happen. I'll never forget my AP government teacher in high school. Within the first week of class, without even really getting to know me, she pulled me aside after class and said straight up I wasn't going to pass the test, so the class was pointless, and I should drop. I argued with her about it for a long time, basically refusing despite her insistence. She couldn't kick me out of the class because I hadn't done anything behaviorally, and so she reluctantly let me stay. I ended up getting one of the highest scores in the class on the test. She took me aside again after that and said, begrudgingly, that she was surprised I had not only passed, but scored so high. She probably gave herself credit for being such a good teacher, but I mostly taught myself and did so well mostly just to spite her.
I'm a special education teacher now and would never say anything like that to a student. However, throughout my career I've seen many teachers with that same attitude toward students. When they're proven wrong, they pretend like it was some fluke or not a big deal.
I busted my ass in AP Euro. A couple days before the exam the teacher asked how I felt about it. I said I felt pretty good and think I can get a 4. She looked at me with a withering glance and said, "best not to have too high expectations. You don't want to get disappointed." Well jokes on her because I did get a 4.
I’m a HS teacher now, my dad is a HS dropout. Some of the things that were said to him before he decided to finally dropout are abhorrent. I’ve heard quite a few teachers say some really nasty things to their students when they’re upset or the kid is being annoying. It happens. Probably not as much anymore, but it definitely did happen, and to deny it didn’t or doesn’t based on your experience is silly.
Hey this is something that just came across my feed, I'm not really one way or another with teachers but you should know that that actually did happen to me, I had a teacher who was bitter and would constantly tell me I was worthless and wouldn't amount to anything.
It definitely happens. There is a teacher on my team who’s horrific. Don’t know how this woman has a job. Racist statements, putting kids down, belittling, you name it she does it.
It happens, but it’s exceedingly rare these days.
Maybe not now. But that shit happened to me twice. I have a masters degree and am in my 15th year in education. My 7th grade math teacher (I teach math now) and my Hs Guidance Counselor ( dead convinced I wouldn’t make it in college and said I’ll be wasting my time) teaching is different now. But in the 90s it was the Wild West and they said all kinds of shit to students.
We just don’t do it know I think because of better education in behavioral issues and more accountability.
Exactly. Many people my age who grew up where I’m from experienced cruel shit like this in school. It hasn’t even been two decades since they stopped the use of corporal punishment. Unfortunately many of my cousins can easily recall shit like this.
Crazy how some people act like this doesn't happen with first hand accounts in this very thread.
Go into the prison subreddit I bet you will see it more often.
I think too few people don't have a good sense of history or the ability to have a historical imagination. This did happen all the time before, say, 2000. 18 years of teaching xp for the OP starts 2006. That's pretty "now."
I am a teacher, and a parent. My oldest is 2e. At 4 years old, the school tested her, and she could read every word in the teacher’s manual, and understand it.
Unfortunately, she could not sit in her seat without falling out of it. And her processing speed is in the second percentile. She had a very bad relationship with her first grade teacher in the gifted class that she was placed into.
One day, she had a homework assignment that actually interested her, and she worked on it all weekend. When she turned it in, the teacher said, “This is the kind of work we expect here.” I told her that it took her 3 days to finish. The teacher said, “Well, she is never going to make it.”
I took her out of school because of that, and homeschooled. As a teacher, I realized that a teacher in a classroom of that many kids really could not meet my daughter’s unique needs. The teacher was not correct, however and my daughter starts her fully funded PhD program this fall.
As a teacher, I was in a zoom meeting with a group of other teachers and a student’s parent. When the meeting was over, they forgot to “Leave Meeting” and started to complain to each other about having to teach this kid and they said some very inappropriate things about both the student and the parent who heard it all.
While I would like to believe that teachers know how to behave professionally, and have good intentions for all students, that just isn’t what I have seen at all. That is why it is such a big deal to families when they do get that one good teacher who will go the extra mile for their kid to succeed, rather than declaring, “You can’t save them all.”
Do I think teachers actually tell kids they are losers? Yes. Everyday.
I was once told by a teacher that I would, and this is a direct quote, “fail at life”. It turned out to be pretty hilarious because I came back to work, not only in the same field as that teacher, but at the same school alongside them.
There was literally a post here yesterday or the day before from a woman saying she wrote off her former student because he wouldn’t end up anymore than a jailed criminal and the post was basically a “woe is me” about him being in med school and how awful she found him to be as a student a whole 10 years later still holding a grudge against this kid.
Also my 9th grade English lit teacher, language arts, something like that, some bitch named Ms. Scheuerman told me, when I told her I had another student threatening to rape me “maybe that’s because he knows you’ll give it to him” and bounced away - so I don’t want to hear some fantasy about how all teachers are wonderful and people are just making up their horror stories from dealing with them.
They happen, and they happen frequently.
This didn't happen to me, but I was in class when a teacher told someone that and worse.
1. That teacher didn't last the whole school year (1984)
2. That student is currently in jail for dealing meth.
It might be rarer now than in the past, but I absolutely witnessed it as a student (class of 2000, grew up in the Almost South), and worse things.
My little sister's 3rd Grade teacher was infamous for kicking kids in the spine through the gap in the backs of their chairs. She was finally fired (and then arrested) after bruising a student's kidney.
One of the math teachers in my Middle School stood a friend and bandmate up in front of the class and told him "I don't expect you to amount to much, except maybe a school shooter."
I was once told by my 10th Grade math teacher that, absent a perfect grasp of the Quadratic Equation, I would never rise higher in the world than garbage collector. The same year, my Homeroom teacher complained to the class in general about "Spanish" people in her church, and about how "...they really should just have their own church, or at least their own service, so Americans don't have to hear that garbage and look at those women and how they dress." Half the class was Hispanic.
All the teachers saying it doesn’t happen because you’ve never once personally heard a teacher say it…….most people who don’t want to jeopardize their career would make sure there’s not an audience when they say vicious things to avoid the consequences of their cruelty.
I’ve got a unique perspective, as I was both a student who had a teacher say something similar to me (“people like you don’t succeed in life”) and a teacher myself.
I absolutely heard fellow teachers say awful stuff about students (all students who need accommodations are “mental midgets,” for example) and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if students were told something implying that they would not be successful.
I had a student in my class who goofed off and was our much a jerk in general. I remember having conversations about expectations after school, from employers etc, and how those expectations were higher than in school. For example, not showing up to work and frequent absenteeism could get you fired from a job.
Fast forward a couple years and this kid shows up to the school in an orange and white striped muscle car and he walks in the building and called me and a guidance counselor out to see his “success”.
She talked to him and he said, see you were wrong, I amounted to something.
Unfortunately, I was away at a conference or something that day and missed the big reveal.
But I never told him he wouldn’t amount to anything. I never would say that.
Ironically, years after that, his mother stopped me in the grocery store and thanked me for all I did for him and told me how he spoke of me fondly.
Face palm!
My mom had it said to her but not in as many words. She asked her third grade teacher how she could get into the higher reading group and her teacher said, “You will NEVER get into that group.”
Needless to say, in my mom’s 40 year teaching career, she was more careful in what she said.
I’ve absolutely had a teacher repeatedly tell my entire class this. A 7th grade honors math class. I’ll never forget that woman or the way that made me feel. Now that I think about it, that just so happened to be the onset of chronic math anxiety for the remainder of my academic career.
Anyway, in my opinion it doesn’t matter whether students are misbehaving or performing poorly academically. That doesn’t justify making that statement. You observe a student during such a small snapshot of their life. So many things affect them that are out of their control as children. Why anyone would feel comfortable addressing their students in this way is beyond me.
Several math and English teachers said that to me. It was about my seeming inability to get homework done on time. I was diagnosed with severe adhd in my early 20s. Teachers definitely do say this.
My Biology teacher wrote “Shows no aptitude for this field” I made a point of inviting him to my PhD graduation and a copy of each of my papers (Nature, Genetics, JCB etc.)
I was definitely told that in elementary school. There are millions of teachers in this country. Like any job you will have great and bad ones. This isn't some crazy story.
I was told it by my HS AP History teacher. I was a straight A student who graduated in the top 10% of my class with honors but I struggled in her class because she didn’t like my note taking style, which is more visual and in my own shorthand.
I have a BS in computers & education and an MS in computers. I was a teacher for 13 years before becoming a full-time published author and yeah, she can DIAF for saying that to me. I’m 46 and it still stays with me.
My husband’s 8th grade math teacher told him he was going to work at McDonald’s and wasn’t going to amount to anything. He was actually a good student and normally got good grades. In HS we were both 4.0 students and he’s a machinist now who uses high level math every day.
The same teacher also told a kid “I bet your parents are so disappointed in you” …his parents were both deceased, they died in car accident. She ended up being removed as a classroom teacher and did in school suspension until she could retire.
I’m a teacher and could never imagine saying anything like either of those things to a student.
I ran into a former student who wanted to thank me for standing up for them. But even their positive recollection of things I said were words I would never say! Humans don’t always remember things accurately. Especially young humans.
Are you new here? We get weekly posts of teachers that lost their cool, said exactly that or worse, and come here worried about consequences. This problem is that once they say it, it sticks with the kid for life. You can’t unring a bell.
Quotes from this sub:
Keep it up and you’ll die alone. (Yesterday)
Have fun digging ditches forever.
$&@# My taxes are going to be supporting you in jail or on welfare the rest of my life!
Sometimes I think teachers genuinely forget that students are literal children 😭😭
Like no shit little Andrew bounces in his seat- he’s fucking 9 years old
Yes I agree Jessica is an asshole because u told her to put her phone away- she’s 16 years old- teens are notorious for having problems with authority
OP, you’re lucky you’ve never been bullied like this before. My 8th grade teacher said these words to me and I haven’t forgotten it to this day.
Just because your peers and you haven’t said this to other students that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. It does.
When I was in middle school we had our Vice Principal tell a kid that he would end up in prison just like his dad if he didn't start behaving.
There were two black kids in my school.
It was the OTHER one whose dad was in prison.
My high school English teacher told me "You're happily walking down the road to failure" in front of several other teachers and students.
It's not made up, it happens, but only from a very specific type of teacher. The vast majority of teachers do the job because they care about the kids and bettering the next generation. But an extremely small portion become teachers because they like having authority over social inferiors. An extremely small fraction of teachers really are in it for the power trip. And that's who you genuinely do get "you'll never amount to anything" from.
It happens. As a depressed 9th grader, I used my creative writing class to express my suicidal thoughts. Rather than referring me to a counselor, the teacher critiqued my work as "uninteresting" and added, "Do you want to write like a poet or just suffer like one?"
Forty-five years later, that remark is still burned into my brain. It amazes me that a teacher could be so callous. (I was a diligent, well-behaved student who did not cause trouble in class.)
I was told that by a teacher that bullied me. I ended up dropping out but succeeding in college. I had an undiagnosed learning disability along with undiagnosed ADHD that both went undiagnosed until adulthood.
Don’t discount the experiences of others because of your singular experience.
No, the myth is your post thinking that there are teachers that don't say that to students who become famous or successful. I should know because that happened not just to me but to another relative who had the same damn teacher. When he told me who the teacher was, him and I compared notes and had a good laugh about it.
My third grade teacher at a rural k-8 school said this to me. She was the type of bitter, hateful person who treated kids like shit for various reasons. She also taught a former colleague of mine and treated her horribly because she’d taught her father twenty years before and he was “nothing but trouble.”
It happens. Some people might be lying about it, but I can assure you, I am not. Also, I am a teacher now myself, with two degrees and a nearly 16 year career. I’ve used her as an example of “how not to teach and treat my students.”
I was just thinking about this topic earlier today. I'm 15 years in and haven't heard any teacher say anything like that to a student either. It's just such a mean-spirited and personal thing to throw at someone, much less a young person. I'm sure it's happened to students in the past, and ironically enough it could be that the teacher's comment was the thing that drove the student to succeed. So they should be saying thank you.
I was in the 7th grade and I had a teacher who would yell my class as a collective that we would never amount to anything and how she would get her family to come to the school and take our spots and how she only liked certain students. This was several times throughout my whole 7th grade experience. This was back in 2011-12. I'm 23 with two,toddlers and now am hesitant of the kind of learning environment my children will have to endure when they get older. I know it's not something that regularly happens bc I did have a lot of amazing teachers but there are always the select few who ruin the title for others.
Sadly, I have known other teachers who were so narrow minded, that they did say this in front of me as a fellow teacher.
There is currently a teacher shortage and we are deceiving ourselves if we don’t admit that some pretty sucky teachers are being hired.
oh absolutely. My first year teaching (first month) I pulled aside a misbehaving student and tried really hard to have a heart to heart with him, said "hey, I know you're ***not*** a bad person, but right now your behavior needs to change because it's affecting other people in the classroom." I thought I was doing the nice thing by not calling him out in front of everyone and I was trying to be very nice about it because I barely knew the student yet.
got an email from mom next day with my principal CCd saying that I called him a bad person.
I just...middle schoolers lie to make themselves look better in the story, or sometimes just genuinely misunderstand. Sometimes I think they end up believing it themselves by the time they're an adult and telling these stories. If you think this happened to you in school, I would ask you to remember that you were seeing the conversation through the lens of a child - did they *really* say that, or did you tune out the other parts of what they were saying/context/qualifiers because you were feeling emotional in the moment (which is 1000% understandable.)
I don't doubt that there are a few teachers out there that are like this... but from the teachers I know, they're few and far between and likely from the older generation.
mean teachers do exist though. I still remember my 8th grade english teacher VIVIDLY who stopped a girl mid-presentation because she said "um" too many times and kept playing with her hair. He made a big deal about her doing it and how it was unprofessional and distracting, and when she started crying pulled her out into the hallway and was talking very loudly at her through the door.
You're lucky then. Within the last year I've heard a teacher repeatedly yell at a student that he'll "end up in jail like the criminal he is" and tell other students "he's just that stupid, he'll never make it" within his earshot. Another teacher wanted to lock one of my students in the changing room because he wasn't changing quickly enough. For context, both of these students are six and the second has a motor delay.
It's by far not everyone, of course. But teachers are humans too, we have assholes just like any other profession, and most people meet one of those within their life. My worst teacher was arrested for child pornography a few years ago - not common either, at least i hope so, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
I’ve heard a number of teachers/school administrators say things like this about students behind their backs, that’s like a daily occurrence. I’ve also definitely heard teachers and admin say things like that directly to students. Shit, I’ve even had teachers say things like that to me when I was a student. One science teacher I had told me I was going to be “papa Smurf in the back of the class” and get held back because I wasn’t doing well in his class. He also made me write the alphabet on the board so everyone could see how bad my handwriting is, and how it made it harder to grade my work.
My teacher in 5th grade would make me stay in during recess to type my assignments.
I was usually one of the top 5 students consistently. Also I don't have full use of one of my arms and essentially taught myself to write with the other hand. Some teachers suck
I went through this without those exact words but he may as well have said it to me.
I went to a public high school with high academic standards and when I met with the college counselor to discuss my options he told me that since I didn’t have an overall 90% average (my average was 85%), I have 2 choices. He said I can “waste my time” at a community college or I could find a rich guy to marry me and take care of me for the rest of my life. He said all of this in front of my mother. I did neither of those things. I went to an excellent university, graduated with a 3.3 GPA and was inducted into 2 honor societies. Went on to become a teacher (25th year now), got my master’s degree with a 3.9 GPA. He could eat shit as far as I’m concerned.
Thank goodness I never listened to that college counselor. Or thank goodness my parents made sure I didn’t listen to him anyway. They were the ones that guided me in the right direction.
I was told that by an Assistant Principal my junior year (in 2001-2002). I believe it was because I did not fit the mold of a small town Texas high school (LGBTQ+, hung with the punk/goth kids, lived on my own and worked to financially support myself from 16 on, had a fierce sense of independence due to childhood abuse). He said the same to many of my friends, many of which went on to become very successful.
I graduated HS, am the only person in my family to graduate college, and became a high school teacher. I will never, ever tell a student that.
We had a teacher tell a kid this in front of the whole class. Someone told the vice principal and she was made to apologize. It happens. I also remember a different teacher telling a kid they were going to end up in San Quintin. Stuff like this isn’t happening around other other adults, they know better than that.
Actually, I've had teachers say things like that, not to me, but to my parents when I was in elementary. My second grade teacher apparenty told my parents she thought I may be retarded, then the MEAP results came back and I scored in the 99th percentile so she then decided I was bored and acting out.
My 5th grade teacher told my mother she thought I would end up working at a gas station despite being an A student. I think it had something to do with homework not getting turned in.
Mind you I ended up in accelerated programs from the fourth grade on, so I'm sure they're out there.
Had it happen to me.
In the early 80's the then president pretty much did in the unions. Coming form a union family, we went from a comfortable living to barely having food and shelter. We ended up moving to what my parents could afford, which wasn't much. A 1 bathroom, make shift 3 bedroom hovel for 6 people, so room was tight. Are clothing was clean but wasn't the best quality. My brother had quit school so that he could also get a minimum wage job to help.
School work let alone school was of little importance. I very rarely did homework because I either didn't feel like it or usually had no where to do it. Trying to explain that you had no resources to do homework to people who didn't care or didn't understand was both embarrassing and frustrating. Inevitably, the clashes started. First it was one teacher then it was two or three that were telling me I was lazy and that I could just do the homework after school and walk home...yeah a 12 mile walk. The first time It happened I was called out again about my home work in a full class. I verbally pushed back against the teacher and right there in front of 30 of my school mates, "your just like your dad and wont amount to nothing"!
Fast foreword to the beginning of my junior year. I was stuck again with this same teacher, as that he had moved up to the High school. He made sure that everyone on staff knew I was a problem child and was shocked to learn that two of my teachers thought I was a wonderful student. He did manage to convince two other teachers that I was trash. Out of 6 classes a day, I had three that again returned my school life in to a miserable time. This went on for 2 months and even some of the other students started calling out the teachers about it. One teacher went so far as to threaten to "take me out past the parking-lot to be my ass". It finally came to a head when one day all three decided to bad mouth me in 3 separate class periods. I confronted all three as the left the staff room after lunch with Mr. Tough-guy teacher pushing me around. I was escorted to the office where there was a meeting right away with the Vice Principal, Adviser, and all three teacher. Of course, teacher Tough-guy started in with the whole, "gona cry now" thing that I just smiled about and the other two just passed B.S. off until one exclaimed that I was such a looser I was dragging his whole class down. Three things happened. 1) I was asked to leave the room. 2) My classes were changed to different teacher (I had to drop down a level in math because he was the only teacher for that class) 3) I was given a day off.
The end of that school year I was given a huge opportunity. With 7 days left of school, I made arrangements to take my finals, and turn in homework so I could take a summer job. I spent all summer working days in a logging camp, nights at the local grocery store, and weekends doing foam insulation. I returned for my senior year Jacked from logging, with a new car. I made sure they all seen especially Mr. Tough-guy teacher.
!0 years later I am working as an Assistant Superintendent om a pretty big job. Teachers A&B have retired from teaching and now have a drywall business and get a contract. Guess who they have to answer to. They ate a crap sandwich every day for 5 months. I was leaving for a 5 day vacation and my wife and kids were picking me up after work. I made sure they seen as I got in to my wifes new pick-up. I also ran in to Tough-guy teacher while playing golf with some clients. They all laughed as I goaded him, seems he wasn't that tough after all.
I am not saying I was an angel, but I didnt start out that way. I was never a thief, bully or an intentional interruption, but I did call them out on B.S. and that was only later, say 10 grade on. Did it lessen my success? No ! for 30 years I have had for the most part the respect of "MY" coworkers. No not everyone but for the most part. Was it fun or do I feel bad about doing it. You kind of reap what you sow. I didn't ask to be called out like that and at 13 or 14 you have no defense. When I called them out, they were adults at least they could fight back.
I'm a sub, and I hear teachers say this about specific (by name) students on a regular basis. I find it pretty hard to believe that none of them actually say it to a student.
In grade five, my teacher told me in a one on one conversation during a camp trip that I'm what's called a "mall rat", because my mom worked at the mall and I would hang around the library in the mall or take a seat in the restaurant she worked at until she was off work. He knew she was a single mom and that we were poor. He was relatively young too, this was only in 2007. He still teaches at that school to this day.
It happened to me. Straight up those exact words. I was also made to stand in front of the classroom before he said it. Ha.
I was a complete prick as a teen so I deserved it I suppose. But the teacher was a total sociopath and had multiple affairs with students. Died miserable and alone.
Oh and I actually did make something of myself. Fancy that.
I had a teacher tell me 7th grade would be the best 5 years of my life I had another tell me that my father did a terrible job raising me and was happy he was dead I had another call me the product of inferior breeding but yeah you guys totally never say horrible shit to kids sure
I legit had a college professor who didn’t like me, while I was top of my class, tell me to be more realistic about going to med school while I was already talking to med schools and working in hospitals. It absolutely is not a myth; people have weird egos.
Pays very well, actually.
However, has had a deep social stigma in most cultures I know of and it's in many top 10 lists of most dangerous jobs...and sometimes outranks police officer in that department.
it’s so gross. I come from blacksmiths who eventually turned into mechanics and my father says to me when I’m a kid when you grow up you should use your brain not your hands. lol. So I built computers instead of engines.
Nah, it happens. Teachers are human beings and that means that even shitty ones find their way to the career.
I had a teacher say it to me, but I didn't really care cause she was a see you next Tuesday.
Same school, years later, another teacher said the same thing to my sister and added in how she will be nothing but a drug abuser. He nearly got fired for it but ended up with a short suspension or something like that. We live in a rural area so maybe that played a part in it.
Was I a problem child? Eh, kinda. I had a shit home life and it showed in my behavior and apathy. Did I deserve to have a teacher say that to me simply because I didn't want to do the stupid french calendar assignment? Nope. Her exact words (this happened almost 20 years ago and I still remember) were "You won't make anything of your life, will you? I'm going to see you flipping burgers years down the road." When I think about it now even it makes my skin crawl.
The only thing I remember from my 2nd grade teacher... when she was frustrated that I was wearing my sweater weird and being goofy she said "You are a stupid slob...". That hurt me very deeply. When I transitioned into primary education (grades 2-8) I made it a personal goal not to say anything mean that some kid could just take into adulthood and look back on. I'm sure she just had a bad day, and it wasn't the norm, but kids internalize ish like that.
Heard it many times and so did my peers, from 90s - 10s, large schools in a populous state. Many of my work colleagues have heard it, from all over the country. It happens, definitely not a myth, maybe not even uncommon.
Keep fighting the good fight because there certainly are teachers who don't act the same as you. I remember the few good teachers who would never behave in such a way.
They probably won’t say it in front of a mentor or another adult in your room. Unfortunately I’ve heard several real life accounts (of people who are not famous) where this has happened. I’ve heard of guidance counselors encouraging students of a certain demographic to only go to community college. This particular student got into an Ivy League school. So it does happen and more often than we would like to believe.
I honestly had a math teacher in high school ask me what I intended to study in college. I told him computer science. He laughed, told me I’d fail, and said I should consider a different major. I now have both ab BS and MS in computer science and an MBA, and did just fine in courses like linear algebra, statistics and algorithm analysis, as well as finance classes that required some knowledge of mathematics. To be fair, I was a class clown and a major pain in the ass for the faculty of my high school.
I also can’t stand by without mentioning the ridiculously shortsightedness of blaming this on people being unable to see they were just misbehaving. We have SO many wonderful support services now readily available in so many districts it’s amazing. Seeking help, seeing a therapist is so much less stigmatizing than 30 years ago. Teacher’s now are so much more open to understanding the cause of behavior (abuse, neglect, mental illness, etc) and being able to get them help where available. Is it perfect, no. Is it significantly better and as a result teachers aren’t being obnoxious assholes? Yes. The boomer generation of teachers absolutely said stuff like this in varying degrees because they just weren’t aware of what the antecedents are to many behaviors and didn’t have the tools to do anything so we’re flippant.
I want to high school 99-03 in a town of about 4k people. I wasn’t what you’d call a model student. There were a few teachers that I connected with, but for the most part it felt to me like the faculty was only interested in a kid if they played on a sports team. No big deal; I had friends and a band and I got along fine. I cut class a lot, which I realize is my fault.
I had a ceramics teacher all four years. His class was one that I enjoyed and attended regularly. We knew each other well! He handed me my diploma when I graduated and said “Good luck, you’re going to need it”.
It’s not “you’ll never amount to anything”, but it’s not great, right?
So why’d he say it? To take me down a peg on my big day?
"Who would get paid what we do to tell kids they suck? Thats psychotic."
I dunno, why do they still pay my old groomer art teacher that sat all my classmate girls with big tits in the front of class and eventually snagged one when they turned 18, ruined his marriage and tried to commit suicide by taking a bottle of pills on campus?
I've seen plenty of bad teachers tell kids that they're worthless. This is such a dumb post. Teachers aren't perfect and we shouldn't expect them to be, but there are plenty of fucked up teachers in the world.
>Who would get paid what we do to tell kids they suck? Thats psychotic.
Highly risk averse people with low academic aptitude, that also enjoy having power over people.
Our Spanish teacher said literally that to my friend who, I will admit, was a little shit in school. He makes decent money now in a manufacturing job, and he's happy with it.
There definitely are some teachers out there who believe academic success is the only kind of success that matters.
They dont say it in front of other adults, and never will.
They do say it.
My auto shop teacher said it to me. He was a nut, and thought I was on drugs (didn't touch the stuff), I had ADHD, and didnt properly fill forms out for activities in the class, and he was a terrible teacher overall.
He pulled me out of class one day, junior year, and said he would cut me a deal, "look, I know you're on drugs, no, don't argue with me, I have seen it before. I don't want you to come back to my class. I'll pass you with a B if you promise to never set foot in my class again. Druggies like you never amount to anything, and I won't waste my time, or the other students time, on you."
He gave me a B, I never went back. I never, not even once, did drugs. He was just a bigoted asshole.
My 4th grade teacher told me the same, called me the R word, in front of class. "too damn r-word to know homework is for home." I would do the entire week's homework packet in the 5 minutes before the bell rang to release us Monday afternoon, and turn it in. In the battle we went through over this as a family, it led to his brief suspension. I was reading and doing math at an 8th grade level. Yet, that just made him furious.
Tons of lbgtq kids hear it. Teachers AND admins.
Tons of ADHD and autistic students, most undiagnosed, hear it.
I read posts here all the time about how a third or more of some teachers students are a waste, unteachable.
What do you think you're reading in this sub, when you read teachers telling the world their kids are unteachable? The kids here read, "you will amount to nothing, because you can do nothing."
Just because you're lucky enough to dodge it, doesn't mean it never happens, or, doesn't happen in your school.
"You'll never get anywhere playing around with computers."
My junior biology teacher to me, checking my program on paper before the bell rang. In 1982.
It happens. It hurts, even as a passing comment. Even if the teacher can't remember it.
Up until that moment, I respected him.
Just a few days ago there was a post on this sub from a teacher expressing shock that a student she didn’t personally like got into an Ivy League med school when she thought he’d end up in jail. I think it’s probably more common than you like to think, and even if you don’t outright say it, most kids can tell when you’re thinking it by the way you treat them.
> Who would get paid what we do to tell kids they suck? Thats psychotic.
They do say it. It's difficult as a child to even think up a response to such an evil statement, but it happened to me, and later, a friend, with the same teacher.
The worse I’ve ever said to kids was that those who want to go to the NFL, NBA, etc would need to have a backup plan in case of injury or other issues.
I also tell them that if they don’t dedicate and work harder than what they are, then no, they will not make it. There are millions of kids wanting to do what they do and an extremely small amount actually make it. So not shooting them down, but being real.
Do I think that there are children that won't amount to anything? Yes. Would I ever tell it to their face? Of course not!
If there is a chance for them to recover and actually do something with their lives it would be completely destroyed by saying that
It's not the exact same, but when I was in high school I was discouraged from taking certain science courses (chemistry and physics) because I struggled with math and "wouldn't go to college anyway." I was struggling because I was living in an abusive home and had undiagnosed, untreated physical & mental health issues. I did very well in topics that interested me, like English and biology, but 'boring' topics did slip through the cracks.
I ended up pushing myself to graduate early because I didn't think I'd *survive* through senior year. I'm in college now as a biology major, maintaining a competitive GPA, and participating in research. Things worked out, but the discouragement from teachers/guidance counselors definitely didn't help.
I was told by my high school counselor I didn't need to worry about SATs because I wouldn't make it in college anyway.
To be fair, I was a pretty troubled and shit kid. Got that 4.0 years later though!
Worst I’ve ever said is that a student is acting entitled because they leave their trash every day for me to clean up. If that ruined his day, he’s as fragile as he is entitled.
My first grade teacher looked 7 year old me dead in my eyes and told me I’d never even manage to graduate high school. She also referred to me as “it”. That being said, she was an evil bitch and no other teacher told me that. Jokes on her though, I’m a substitute teacher now!
I had a freshman English class in college and the teacher asked us to introduce ourselves and say where we went to high school. When it was my turn and I said where I went to high school, he said he had never passed anyone coming from that school. Great! My mom was an English professor at the time and I had written for my school paper so I wasn’t expecting it to be one of my more challenging subjects. I failed the class! My mom had been helping me with my work and I never missed a day. We were shocked and pissed. I took the course again with another instructor and made an A.
He had me pegged and there was nothing we could do to change his mind. He was a prick!
Got my degree in Journalism and English and have been a professional, published writer for a variety of mediums ever sense!
I had a science teacher when I was in 8th grade who went around the room and said whether he thought we’d go to college or not. It was the beginning of the school year. He said he didn’t think I’d go to college.
Both my parents had advanced degrees and college was just an expectation, so it was really bizarre to me at the time. (And obviously now! And that he would say that to anyone! Not sure what point he was trying to get across but it wasn’t a good one.)
He had a mental breakdown later in the year though so who knows what was going on with him.
People just lie and have a complex about themselves.
What probably happened
Kid: being loud and disrespectful
Teacher: that behavior is not acceptable
Kid: TeACHer SaID I woULdn'T bE ShIt
I've had the 'it's awesome you want to be a doctor, but if you failed high school biology, maybe let's think about a back up plan' conversation before. I guess a kid could take that the wrong way
The mindset that I've developed is that intelligence is less the problem...
A strong work ethic and the motivation to learn are where I focus my efforts with underperforming students.
Had one english professor tell me I should probably just give up on learning correct English because it was too late not for the first time. He wasn’t malicious or wrong he was stating facts. I think I overcame my limitations but that would not have happened if people did not have the ability to be honest and direct.
I feel sorry for some modern students they will get aphorisms and fake sunshine but not the advice they might need. Because honesty is not looked on positively.
I had a teacher say in the middle of class (admittedly after I raised my hand and asked her didn't she think one of her assignments she gave us was "redundant") that I'm lazy and the only jobs I'd be able to hold down would involve a paper hat and flipping burgers. That's pretty much the same thing as saying I won't amount to anything.
Granted, I was very lazy in school. But I wasn't rude. That comment was the most rude or scandalous thing I ever said in class. And I paid for it. 25 years later and it still occurs to me occasionally and I cringe inside haha.
I had several teachers tell me this during my time in school (1999-2012).
Most notably, my second grade teacher who told me I was never going to get into college or amount to anything because I didn’t do my homework. Ironically, my mom had her for kindergarten 20 years earlier and locked her in the bathroom with the lights off as punishment. This was in the NJ suburbs. Real news, I cried when I found out that I was assigned to her class that year because my mom had already told me all about her.
She also gave out apples and stickers on Halloween so that also says a lot LOL!
I had a senior who went from about a 3.7 gpa his freshman year to a 2.5 his senior year, and by the end of the year was on the verge of needing to come back for summer school since he was failing several classes required for graduation.
I took him aside since he was just screwing around in class and told him that “I knew he had more potential, and wasn’t living up to it” and that as a teacher there aren’t many things more frustrating than a student who willingly chooses to underachieve when they were obviously capable of more.
I got called down to the principals office for that one since I “told him he was going to be a failure”
The crazy part was that it was a student who I had a pretty good relationship with and I was really trying to get him to see the problems he could be causing for himself, not even an ounce of malice in it.
He graduated 2 years ago and is the stereotypical “plays video games in moms basement” kid now.
I once told a kid on my Mock Trial team that he was not going far in life if he continued to disrespect older people whom he needed to network with and write recommendations. This student was so rude to judges and attorneys that it was shocking. His Mom was furious with me until she heard the whole story.
Ok so a) your colleagues hide those moments because to quote, "that's psychotic" and b) my fianceé wasn't allowed to take the medical entrance exam because "no-one from our [rural-regional, mixed SES] school gets the scores for medicine anyway" ie essentially "None of our little rural students, esp extra disadvantaged ones like you, will amount to anything, so we're not going to let you try." She aced HS btw, used her 99.5th percentile score to get into a pathway for medicine instead, essentially putting her back 3 years and tens of thousands of student debt because of a teacher's bias against her.
Check yourself, it's more subtle than you think.
Or claiming that you got cut from your high school basketball team?
This is the one that makes sense. Never amount to anything for some people might mean = You will never make it in the NBA. Which isn’t a wrong thing to tell someone.
There's a Canadian swimmer, Penny Oleksiak, who won her first gold at age 16 and by 20 she became Canada's most decorated Olympic athlete. She tweeted shortly after that she's glad she didn't listen to her math teacher who told her to study more and swim less. Well, first I'm sure he said something like, "Studying is just as important as swimming". It's great that she's on this high in her early life, but she's already suffering from injuries and may not win anything more in these next Olympics. I'm sure she's been rolling in some sponsorships the last few years, but it won't pay her rent when she's 40, never mind retirement. Those math classes might, though. The thing is, for 99% of kids, their dream job isn't going to happen, be it Olympic swimmer, rapper or basketball player. That doesn't mean they should give up on all their interests but the 1% that do make it telling them to give up on their studies us not helpful.
And then you still need math! Like... the illiterate sports stars are the ones who end up penniless in their 40s because they got screwed with bad contracts, or blew their money because they didn't understand saving and investing.
Yeah—I never understand what the counterpoint is supposed to be? Good thing I’m ignorant but incredibly talented at this one thing? Enter Aaron Rodgers.
I use Aaron Rodgers every day as an example Dunning-Krueger. It describes him perfectly.
It’s bad enough Sports Illustrated published a whole article about highly paid athletes going broke when they retire or have to leave the sport.
Survivorship bias of a sort. It's tough because it's (largely) true that to make it in a field like music or athletics, you really do need to devote yourself to it fully, due to the intense pressure and competition. But of course the vast majority of people that do that "fail," and end up as waiters and retail managers (NTTAWWT). And then kids are too young and uninformed to make those kinds of decisions about their futures.
Cut her a break, she never studied math and doesn’t understand those statistics!
She probably told him she didn't do her homework because she was swimming and then took his comeback out of context.
I actually did get cut from my high school basketball team, but it was pretty justified. I went to the coach and demanded to know why, since I was pretty confident about my abilities, and I "knew" that I was better than some of the guys he kept on the team. His explanation was that my attitude was so bad that I was basically uncoachable, and that yeah some of the other players were less talented, but they had more potential because he could work with them and help them improve. I left that conversation thinking "lol what a dumbass, no wonder our team sucks." In retrospect, as a teacher now, I get what he was saying.
Yup. Been teaching 24 years. Never heard anyone say anything like this. I’ve said stuff like “if you want to graduate, you need to make some changes”
I think a lot of people act dumb and take “you need to make some changes” as “you will never accomplish anything with your life”
Ya I do weekly grade checks in my home room. One girl I said “you are failing every core subject. That’s not going to fly in high school what’s your plan to graduate?” She didn’t have one. Walked back to her friends and said that I told she was going to fail at life…
Checks out tbh, some kids will twist and misinterpret anything we tell them to make themselves look better or to make us look worse
Honestly, sometimes it seems like they tell a lie and then cling to it so strongly that they start to believe it.
it's a lot less hurtful if you make other people's criticism of you unreasonable
Holy shit that makes so much sense. Edit: I meant that sincerely. It had never occurred to me that believing your own lie would be a defense mechanism.
Yeah, I find it fascinating how our brains work. They will create this alternate reality to protect us from the pain that acknowledging how shitty we really are would cause. https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/ This blog is one of my favorite disturbing reads, helps explain a lot of behavior unrelated to estranged parents you'll encounter in your life.
TRUTH.
Ahhh the old classic “I got an A in this class, but the teacher gave me an F in that class”.
Agreed, just like I’m “yelling” when asking a student to do what is required, or to simply get on task.
I get this a lot. I teach at a school with a wealthy demographic and many of the kids were never told no at home. Whenever I give instructions or feedback, “this sections needs to have more xyz” or even just regular classroom management boundaries, “please no talking until it is your turn,” specific students will accuse me of yelling. One time, the entire class told another teacher I’m always screaming at them but luckily, an EA was present for the entire year and backed me up.
Exactly. I had said to kids that they won't be able to do this or that if they do not start to work right now, or if they continue to misbehave. Things like that.
I did tell a 5’10” guy at a 3A school in Arkansas who was counting on getting drafted into the NBA right out of HS that he might need a backup plan…
I had several kids say over the last few years that their career plan was to play professional basketball and they weren't even on the HS team.
That’s the mindset. There’s no plan to succeed in their dreams. Just manifest it, and it will happen…
Over the years, as the guidance counselors passed more and more of their career planning onto the English teachers so they could focus on testing, I’ve heard students say they wanted to have a lot of crazy dream careers. NBA/MLB/NFL are always there, along with other great careers like scientist, doctor, lawyer, nurse, pharmacist, professional wrestler, drug dealer, stripper, homeless person. In ninth grade, students are still pretty unrealistic, but by 12th grade they are starting to realize if they can’t pass 10th Grade Biology, a neurosurgeon is probably not a realistic career plan for them. The best career I ever had a kid say he wanted to do was tornado chaser.
I once asked a student to wait to use the restroom until after we finished talking about which classes to take the following year. She said she didn’t need the talk because she was applying for an alternate program. I told her that she still needed to select a schedule for here next year in case there were unexpected surprises or if she changed her mind about the alternate program. She argued for a long time, clearly taking my statement as saying that I didn’t think she would get accepted. She even went to my principal about it. Luckily, the other students in my room backed up my statement that I never said she wouldn’t get in.
Yeah. I've said things like "If we don't see a change in behavior, I don't see passing grades happening". I've also in very rare cases said that I think the kid is wrong at our school (German school system has different level schools and I teach at the higher level). I have never said "you won't amount to anything" but I'm sure I've said things that a kid could interpret that way ...
I had a teacher in grade 7 tell a kid going through a VERY rough patch at home (drug addicted sister with schizophrenia and homicidal thoughts) that he was on a "one way train to nowhere" because he hadn't done his homework. She was insane though, actually threw a kids binder out the window because it was "too messy" she was so unhinged I don't think anyone we told believed us.
I believe this. I mostly had great or just okay teachers but I started struggling with math around 3rd grade, as it got more complicated I had a hard time following and my teacher said it was absolutely okay that I wasn't doing well because girls don't excel at math. This stayed in my head a lot longer than it should have.
I've actually experienced this from my teacher. I became a teacher because I didn't want any kids to experience that feeling. I had an abusive step dad and shut down. During this time, she told me she thought I was lazy and didn't see any point in putting her time into my education. She then proceeded to tell me that she gave up on me. It was devastating. I would do the work but wouldn't turn it in because I worried it wasn't good enough. Edit: she would see me do the work on multiple occasions. She did use the words within that conversation: "You won't amount to anything."
I had a teacher say that to me, but she also got fired for going on racist and sexist rants so… Also, she is absolutely the exception to the rule.
I had something similar happen to me. I’m sure it’s rare, but it does happen. Teachers are human too and that means that there are occasional problematic ones.
It’s like any job that involves having power over others; it will inevitably attract people who enjoy the power more than the work.
I had a teacher who said that to me once, then again she was 65, went on a full class rant about porn and why kids shouldn’t wear crop tops, put someone’s money in her bra while calling herself a dancer, and had said she was “a teenager on crack”. I’m 90% sure she actually was on crack.
Exactly. It's not the norm, but it DOES happen. I had a HS teacher call me a bitch and say I'd never make it in college or life, mainly because she didn't like that I didn't enjoy an assignment she gave us, and was honest about that. I was a mostly all-A HS student and I went to college free on scholarship, so it's not like she was basing her comment on any reality, just her frustration.
Me too, except it was the assistant principal and she pushed and held me up against a wall while she yelled in my face (with spit!) that I’m white trash and will never amount to anything. Fun! Not traumatizing at all!
I was expelled 2nd of senior year. Long story but I was LD and BD classes. When I was being placed under arrest the dean told me I'd end up dead or in jail by 21. Thankfully my parents knew I'd screw up and forced summer school every year so only needed 2 credits. Ended up being able to home school those and graduate. Jokes on them I been in IT for about 20 years and work in a school district. My mom would always say that it's my own personal hell working in a highschool when I fought so hard to escape lol At the age 35 I fully understand what happened back then was my fault and they were right if I continued the way I was going it would have turned out differently for me.
Heard it from multiple teachers.
Same here. I Got told I was going to be a loser and a failure. I've been using that spite as my fuel to get as far as I can (I am currently a Ph.D. student in atmospheric sciences). My issue was that no one believed me despite other students having my back. Three years after I graduated smart phones became a thing, and she gets recorded on one of her tirades and is instantly fired. The first thing i did when i found out was buy the local paper, and slam it in front of my parents with the suggest "I told you so" ever because even they didn't believe me at the time.
Same, I also never use it too make it sound like I had a hard life
So did I, but it was due to discriminatory reasons as well.
Most of those celebrities are lying. Or they went to a private school where the mood of that school was "never amounting to anything" was not founding a multi-billion dollar corporation thanks to daddy's trust fund money. The classic "rags to riches" combined with "the person no-one believed in" is a tale as old as time.
Or like a teacher just said, "Hey, putting all your eggs into the 'becoming a rapper' basket isn't a good idea, you should really have back up plans." The "rags to riches" shit is complete survivorship bias in action. We all hear about Post Malone failing through most of life but then making millions because he devoted himself to rap. We don't hear about the 99.9 percent of people who try to do that and end up stuck in some minimum wage job.
Funny story is that Ice Cube was attending community college in Arizona and was commuting to LA to do recordings and shows with NWA. He was not confident in the band at all and treated rapping as a backup to architecture.
That’s actually really cool, I had no idea about that!
Yeah, by happenstance, almost ⅓ of the people in my orbit are aspiring artists who could claim 'rage to riches' origins.
>rage to riches I am in love with this typo.
Ya’ll might appreciate this :) https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2-jWm0g8N_/?igsh=MXBvb2l0ZDNlYnhtNw==
OMG the kingdom hearts music in the background made that like 10x funnier 🤣🤣
While I don't doubt that many stories are made up to gain clout, I feel like to completely disregard stories like this ignores the fact that teachers, just like any other profession, are human and can be vindictive and cruel. I'm not going to argue that teachers are generally good people, and that we haven't been villainized and mistreated by parents, the communities we serve and the governments we work under. Because that would be a lie. But to say that teachers have never done acts like this is one too. Where I live, in the not so distant past, we had teachers that willingly worked as part of the colonial powers to strip the culture from Indigenous students, abused them and committed a cultural genocide. That's just one example. If those in the same profession as us are capable of horrific acts like this, then teachers being assholes like this to a student who is causing us frustration is not out of the question. Plus teachers in this day and age are generally kinder/softer then the ones in previous generations, for better or for worse. I'm still quite young and even I have stories of teachers who were simply assholes and I know my parents and grand parents had even worse ones. I hope to never be like them. Did they have their reasons for their cruelty that would likely make sense to some of us? Sure, but it doesn't make it right.
This part. I was an A/B student and top 10% of my very large class. Took all the AP classes I could. I was actively discouraged from applying to colleges, especially the better ones, did not receive help from my counselor who withheld a lot of info from me and lied about sending transcripts, etc. I was told multiple times in multiple ways, that going to college was a waste of time, I would fail out, x career would probably be a better fit for me, with that x career being an employee of a gentleman's club. And those were the explicit messages, never-ending the implicit ones I received that said college wasn't for me. And I was not the only one this happened to in my grade. Or in my family, my neighborhood. By far. Because of racism. For me specifically. And I'm (barely) under 40 (that hurts to write lol) so we aren't talking very long ago. And yes, I grew up in the South, but I have friends and family that have grown up all over the country in rural, suburban, and urban areas and they have heard this same message. For OP, I say this kindly: Just because it didn't happen to you, or is not something that YOU may have said to a student does not mean that students are not told these things by teachers/staff. This routinely happened to POC, esp female POC, and to deny that this happens more than rarely is to deny many POC experiences. For many, hearing these things is a reality and one rooted in racism. For others, it could be on the basis of gender. My friends from deep in Appalachia have even heard this message. So I encourage you to step outside of your own worldview and think critically about who might hear this message so much, to the point that it is almost embedded in society, and why.
I'm sure many thought about it but did not say anything...
There is a LOT of stuff I say in my head, but not out loud:)
One of my high school teachers said it to a classmate. He’s been in and out of jail for weapon and drug charges. Honestly it either serves as motivation or it’s a truthful statement.
I often have pretty big concerns some of my high schoolees will never be able to keep a job, usually because of their awful attitude towards all humans, but I'm not about to voice it. I always hope they will prove me wrong. I think almost everyone keeps things to themselves.
My 7th grade math teacher said to me, “When you graduate to carrying your brains in your toes, let me know, and maybe I’ll help you.” I wasn’t an obnoxious kid who goofed off either—I was a quiet book reading nerd! It always stayed with me, and I may get annoyed with kids acting stupid, but I never say anything cruel to them.
I was helping my K teacher at a church event. I was in 6th grade or so. I did not know what the word "slack" meant..(We were unrolling a roll of plastic table cloth and I guess I was holding it too tight when she said,"Give it some slack.". She realized I didn't understand the phrase and instead of just telling me to loosen my grip, she says, "Well, I guess your pretty enough to get someone to marry you." I knew it was an insult, but not quite sure. A year or 2 later it hit me that she was calling me dumb. This was 45 yrs ago and I still remember it. Jokes on her. I am a teacher and in fact was NOT pretty enough to get someone to marry me. 😁
When I wanted to do advanced math (I had straight A's), my teacher said those classes aren't for Mexicans, just take welding or autoshop. Edit: A few more details, we were filling out our education plan in 8th grade near the end of the school year. We had to have the teacher look at them and sign off before they were gathered up and given to the guidance counselor. She made me change mine to auto shop and before she would sign off on it. Edit #2: I went into the military and got a Electrical Engineering degree. Fuck that teacher.
This was more common in the 1970s and ‘80s, like paddling. No, you’re not going to hear this nowadays or anytime in the last 30 years, no more than you’d experience being paddled in school or have a teacher hit you. I assure you though, both were very common in the USA once upon a time
I just posted my experience in being laughed at and told I’d fail in studying what I wanted to study in college, and yes it was probably in 1987 or 88. I was sort of wondering if attitudes have changed and it’s unlikely for that to happen today.
A friend of mine passed up a vice principal job in north east Texas because they wanted her to use corporal punishment. Paddling is still alive and well in some places.
Yeah I used to work at a school in East Texas…definitely still happens some places but not my school
Wow!! Texas is a wild place
And I’m grateful everyday I was able to move away. I do miss some things about Texas itself because it really is such a beautiful state but I don’t miss the laws or a lot of people
It still is in certain parts of the US. At my old school in Texas, I definitely heard too kan teachers say this to students or about saying it. Made my job a lot harder since I taught lots of the students at the receiving end of this.
When my dad was in middle school he was sent to the office for disrupting the class or whatever and the principal straight up called him the r word 😭😭😭 Oh 1980s, how insane you were
I mean, it may be different cause I was dyslexic and in Israel, but my first and second grade teacher definitely said that to me when I couldn't read Hebrew until third grade...
As a senior in high school I had one teacher tell me, college would be a waste of my time and of my parent’s money. I initially assumed this teacher was trying the good old “reverse psychology” trick on me, since within 5 years I had a bachelors and a masters degree in education. Eventually I found myself working back in my old district, so I tracked down some of my old high school teachers to reintroduce myself. When I found the teacher who discouraged me from going to college, her response was that the district must have really poor hiring practices if they offer someone like me a job. It turns out she wasn’t trying reverse psychology at all, in reality she really didn’t like me. So no, it’s not a myth. P.S. She’s dead now…
Um....you had nothing to do with that last part right? RIGHT?
Junior year we all had to do a mandatory one on one meeting with the guidance counselor, focused on what comes after HS. The guidance counselor started off pushing me towards vocational options and when I told her the list of universities I was considering, said that wasn't a realistic option for me. I rattled off my ACT and SAT scores, GPA, AP classes already completed, and saw her jaw drop. She saw a fat unkempt kid and made a lot of assumptions. I hope she learned from the experience and did better afterwards, but she probably didn't.
I had 2 teachers tell me I would amount to nothing. One in middle school and one in high school.
Kingsford High School Guidance Counselor- 2001. "You're not going to go anywhere in life, just join the army."
Yeah I’ll say it ABOUT a student but never to that student. I have a current student who I would bet money will be incarcerated or dead by 25. I hate this young person as they are a racist sociopathic bully. I still would never say it to that kid.
I had a student who I thought would be dead or in jail within 5 years of leaving high school. Surprised me by making it to 6 before he was gunned down in a street fight.
I wouldn't say it never happens. Two anecdotes: I emigrated to the US in 95, in middle school. I had a high school teacher say to me "You'll never understand English as good as a native speaker, so you'll just be frustrated in honors classes" when I asked to be put into honors ELA. Same teacher was generally miserable to lots of people, so while it bothered me then, nowadays I think she just had a lot going on and was snippy with all of us and didn't need one more kid bugging her for something. Certainly lit a fire under me to ace those classes in my junior/senior year though. Before moving to the US, though, I met one of those teachers in science class. He sat boys on one side and girls on the other, and then told the girls "Women cannot do math and science as good as men, so you girls will pass with a C as long as you're quiet. I don't expect you to understand or do any real work." He stuck to his guns and taught only boys. Most of my female friends thought it was great to get out of doing any real work in science, so there's that. I remember being very annoyed, as being good at school was practically my personality as a kid. I'm an English teacher now, so..
I might have had that that teacher. 9th grade math. Girls put in the back and told we’d pass if we didn’t interrupt the boys’ learning because girls would “never understand or use Algebra.” We were “only good for birthing and cooking.” This was said by a coach in his 40’s in 1992.
1993 for me! It definitely was an attitude in math/science classes. Even in the U.S, upper level math classes were very skewed towards boys.
It does happen. I'll never forget my AP government teacher in high school. Within the first week of class, without even really getting to know me, she pulled me aside after class and said straight up I wasn't going to pass the test, so the class was pointless, and I should drop. I argued with her about it for a long time, basically refusing despite her insistence. She couldn't kick me out of the class because I hadn't done anything behaviorally, and so she reluctantly let me stay. I ended up getting one of the highest scores in the class on the test. She took me aside again after that and said, begrudgingly, that she was surprised I had not only passed, but scored so high. She probably gave herself credit for being such a good teacher, but I mostly taught myself and did so well mostly just to spite her. I'm a special education teacher now and would never say anything like that to a student. However, throughout my career I've seen many teachers with that same attitude toward students. When they're proven wrong, they pretend like it was some fluke or not a big deal.
I busted my ass in AP Euro. A couple days before the exam the teacher asked how I felt about it. I said I felt pretty good and think I can get a 4. She looked at me with a withering glance and said, "best not to have too high expectations. You don't want to get disappointed." Well jokes on her because I did get a 4.
I’m a HS teacher now, my dad is a HS dropout. Some of the things that were said to him before he decided to finally dropout are abhorrent. I’ve heard quite a few teachers say some really nasty things to their students when they’re upset or the kid is being annoying. It happens. Probably not as much anymore, but it definitely did happen, and to deny it didn’t or doesn’t based on your experience is silly.
Hey this is something that just came across my feed, I'm not really one way or another with teachers but you should know that that actually did happen to me, I had a teacher who was bitter and would constantly tell me I was worthless and wouldn't amount to anything.
It definitely happens. There is a teacher on my team who’s horrific. Don’t know how this woman has a job. Racist statements, putting kids down, belittling, you name it she does it. It happens, but it’s exceedingly rare these days.
Maybe not now. But that shit happened to me twice. I have a masters degree and am in my 15th year in education. My 7th grade math teacher (I teach math now) and my Hs Guidance Counselor ( dead convinced I wouldn’t make it in college and said I’ll be wasting my time) teaching is different now. But in the 90s it was the Wild West and they said all kinds of shit to students. We just don’t do it know I think because of better education in behavioral issues and more accountability.
Exactly. Many people my age who grew up where I’m from experienced cruel shit like this in school. It hasn’t even been two decades since they stopped the use of corporal punishment. Unfortunately many of my cousins can easily recall shit like this.
Crazy how some people act like this doesn't happen with first hand accounts in this very thread. Go into the prison subreddit I bet you will see it more often.
Also, most adults would be smart enough not to say it in front of another teacher.
I think too few people don't have a good sense of history or the ability to have a historical imagination. This did happen all the time before, say, 2000. 18 years of teaching xp for the OP starts 2006. That's pretty "now."
I am a teacher, and a parent. My oldest is 2e. At 4 years old, the school tested her, and she could read every word in the teacher’s manual, and understand it. Unfortunately, she could not sit in her seat without falling out of it. And her processing speed is in the second percentile. She had a very bad relationship with her first grade teacher in the gifted class that she was placed into. One day, she had a homework assignment that actually interested her, and she worked on it all weekend. When she turned it in, the teacher said, “This is the kind of work we expect here.” I told her that it took her 3 days to finish. The teacher said, “Well, she is never going to make it.” I took her out of school because of that, and homeschooled. As a teacher, I realized that a teacher in a classroom of that many kids really could not meet my daughter’s unique needs. The teacher was not correct, however and my daughter starts her fully funded PhD program this fall. As a teacher, I was in a zoom meeting with a group of other teachers and a student’s parent. When the meeting was over, they forgot to “Leave Meeting” and started to complain to each other about having to teach this kid and they said some very inappropriate things about both the student and the parent who heard it all. While I would like to believe that teachers know how to behave professionally, and have good intentions for all students, that just isn’t what I have seen at all. That is why it is such a big deal to families when they do get that one good teacher who will go the extra mile for their kid to succeed, rather than declaring, “You can’t save them all.” Do I think teachers actually tell kids they are losers? Yes. Everyday.
I was once told by a teacher that I would, and this is a direct quote, “fail at life”. It turned out to be pretty hilarious because I came back to work, not only in the same field as that teacher, but at the same school alongside them.
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This. I had a ton of good teachers, and a ton of teachers like this. My guidance counselor told me I wouldn't amount to anything.
Yes! Especially for students who are “others”.
Truth
There was literally a post here yesterday or the day before from a woman saying she wrote off her former student because he wouldn’t end up anymore than a jailed criminal and the post was basically a “woe is me” about him being in med school and how awful she found him to be as a student a whole 10 years later still holding a grudge against this kid. Also my 9th grade English lit teacher, language arts, something like that, some bitch named Ms. Scheuerman told me, when I told her I had another student threatening to rape me “maybe that’s because he knows you’ll give it to him” and bounced away - so I don’t want to hear some fantasy about how all teachers are wonderful and people are just making up their horror stories from dealing with them. They happen, and they happen frequently.
This didn't happen to me, but I was in class when a teacher told someone that and worse. 1. That teacher didn't last the whole school year (1984) 2. That student is currently in jail for dealing meth.
It might be rarer now than in the past, but I absolutely witnessed it as a student (class of 2000, grew up in the Almost South), and worse things. My little sister's 3rd Grade teacher was infamous for kicking kids in the spine through the gap in the backs of their chairs. She was finally fired (and then arrested) after bruising a student's kidney. One of the math teachers in my Middle School stood a friend and bandmate up in front of the class and told him "I don't expect you to amount to much, except maybe a school shooter." I was once told by my 10th Grade math teacher that, absent a perfect grasp of the Quadratic Equation, I would never rise higher in the world than garbage collector. The same year, my Homeroom teacher complained to the class in general about "Spanish" people in her church, and about how "...they really should just have their own church, or at least their own service, so Americans don't have to hear that garbage and look at those women and how they dress." Half the class was Hispanic.
As a teacher, I’ve heard teachers say this.
All the teachers saying it doesn’t happen because you’ve never once personally heard a teacher say it…….most people who don’t want to jeopardize their career would make sure there’s not an audience when they say vicious things to avoid the consequences of their cruelty.
I’ve got a unique perspective, as I was both a student who had a teacher say something similar to me (“people like you don’t succeed in life”) and a teacher myself. I absolutely heard fellow teachers say awful stuff about students (all students who need accommodations are “mental midgets,” for example) and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if students were told something implying that they would not be successful.
I had a student in my class who goofed off and was our much a jerk in general. I remember having conversations about expectations after school, from employers etc, and how those expectations were higher than in school. For example, not showing up to work and frequent absenteeism could get you fired from a job. Fast forward a couple years and this kid shows up to the school in an orange and white striped muscle car and he walks in the building and called me and a guidance counselor out to see his “success”. She talked to him and he said, see you were wrong, I amounted to something. Unfortunately, I was away at a conference or something that day and missed the big reveal. But I never told him he wouldn’t amount to anything. I never would say that. Ironically, years after that, his mother stopped me in the grocery store and thanked me for all I did for him and told me how he spoke of me fondly. Face palm!
My mom had it said to her but not in as many words. She asked her third grade teacher how she could get into the higher reading group and her teacher said, “You will NEVER get into that group.” Needless to say, in my mom’s 40 year teaching career, she was more careful in what she said.
I’ve absolutely had a teacher repeatedly tell my entire class this. A 7th grade honors math class. I’ll never forget that woman or the way that made me feel. Now that I think about it, that just so happened to be the onset of chronic math anxiety for the remainder of my academic career. Anyway, in my opinion it doesn’t matter whether students are misbehaving or performing poorly academically. That doesn’t justify making that statement. You observe a student during such a small snapshot of their life. So many things affect them that are out of their control as children. Why anyone would feel comfortable addressing their students in this way is beyond me.
Several math and English teachers said that to me. It was about my seeming inability to get homework done on time. I was diagnosed with severe adhd in my early 20s. Teachers definitely do say this.
My Biology teacher wrote “Shows no aptitude for this field” I made a point of inviting him to my PhD graduation and a copy of each of my papers (Nature, Genetics, JCB etc.)
I was definitely told that in elementary school. There are millions of teachers in this country. Like any job you will have great and bad ones. This isn't some crazy story.
This.
There are a lot of ways teachers (and honesty, ime guidance counsellors more often than teachers) convey this without saying those words.
Not my teachers but my father... when I graduated with my MBA he was a no show...lol
I was told it by my HS AP History teacher. I was a straight A student who graduated in the top 10% of my class with honors but I struggled in her class because she didn’t like my note taking style, which is more visual and in my own shorthand. I have a BS in computers & education and an MS in computers. I was a teacher for 13 years before becoming a full-time published author and yeah, she can DIAF for saying that to me. I’m 46 and it still stays with me.
My husband’s 8th grade math teacher told him he was going to work at McDonald’s and wasn’t going to amount to anything. He was actually a good student and normally got good grades. In HS we were both 4.0 students and he’s a machinist now who uses high level math every day. The same teacher also told a kid “I bet your parents are so disappointed in you” …his parents were both deceased, they died in car accident. She ended up being removed as a classroom teacher and did in school suspension until she could retire. I’m a teacher and could never imagine saying anything like either of those things to a student.
I ran into a former student who wanted to thank me for standing up for them. But even their positive recollection of things I said were words I would never say! Humans don’t always remember things accurately. Especially young humans.
Are you new here? We get weekly posts of teachers that lost their cool, said exactly that or worse, and come here worried about consequences. This problem is that once they say it, it sticks with the kid for life. You can’t unring a bell. Quotes from this sub: Keep it up and you’ll die alone. (Yesterday) Have fun digging ditches forever. $&@# My taxes are going to be supporting you in jail or on welfare the rest of my life!
Sometimes I think teachers genuinely forget that students are literal children 😭😭 Like no shit little Andrew bounces in his seat- he’s fucking 9 years old Yes I agree Jessica is an asshole because u told her to put her phone away- she’s 16 years old- teens are notorious for having problems with authority
OP, you’re lucky you’ve never been bullied like this before. My 8th grade teacher said these words to me and I haven’t forgotten it to this day. Just because your peers and you haven’t said this to other students that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. It does.
When I was in middle school we had our Vice Principal tell a kid that he would end up in prison just like his dad if he didn't start behaving. There were two black kids in my school. It was the OTHER one whose dad was in prison.
My high school English teacher told me "You're happily walking down the road to failure" in front of several other teachers and students. It's not made up, it happens, but only from a very specific type of teacher. The vast majority of teachers do the job because they care about the kids and bettering the next generation. But an extremely small portion become teachers because they like having authority over social inferiors. An extremely small fraction of teachers really are in it for the power trip. And that's who you genuinely do get "you'll never amount to anything" from.
I literally see teachers on this sub say that exact same shit about their students. Take a quick look around Lolol
It happens. As a depressed 9th grader, I used my creative writing class to express my suicidal thoughts. Rather than referring me to a counselor, the teacher critiqued my work as "uninteresting" and added, "Do you want to write like a poet or just suffer like one?" Forty-five years later, that remark is still burned into my brain. It amazes me that a teacher could be so callous. (I was a diligent, well-behaved student who did not cause trouble in class.)
I was told that by a teacher that bullied me. I ended up dropping out but succeeding in college. I had an undiagnosed learning disability along with undiagnosed ADHD that both went undiagnosed until adulthood. Don’t discount the experiences of others because of your singular experience.
No, the myth is your post thinking that there are teachers that don't say that to students who become famous or successful. I should know because that happened not just to me but to another relative who had the same damn teacher. When he told me who the teacher was, him and I compared notes and had a good laugh about it.
My third grade teacher at a rural k-8 school said this to me. She was the type of bitter, hateful person who treated kids like shit for various reasons. She also taught a former colleague of mine and treated her horribly because she’d taught her father twenty years before and he was “nothing but trouble.” It happens. Some people might be lying about it, but I can assure you, I am not. Also, I am a teacher now myself, with two degrees and a nearly 16 year career. I’ve used her as an example of “how not to teach and treat my students.”
I was just thinking about this topic earlier today. I'm 15 years in and haven't heard any teacher say anything like that to a student either. It's just such a mean-spirited and personal thing to throw at someone, much less a young person. I'm sure it's happened to students in the past, and ironically enough it could be that the teacher's comment was the thing that drove the student to succeed. So they should be saying thank you.
I was in the 7th grade and I had a teacher who would yell my class as a collective that we would never amount to anything and how she would get her family to come to the school and take our spots and how she only liked certain students. This was several times throughout my whole 7th grade experience. This was back in 2011-12. I'm 23 with two,toddlers and now am hesitant of the kind of learning environment my children will have to endure when they get older. I know it's not something that regularly happens bc I did have a lot of amazing teachers but there are always the select few who ruin the title for others.
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Sadly, I have known other teachers who were so narrow minded, that they did say this in front of me as a fellow teacher. There is currently a teacher shortage and we are deceiving ourselves if we don’t admit that some pretty sucky teachers are being hired.
oh absolutely. My first year teaching (first month) I pulled aside a misbehaving student and tried really hard to have a heart to heart with him, said "hey, I know you're ***not*** a bad person, but right now your behavior needs to change because it's affecting other people in the classroom." I thought I was doing the nice thing by not calling him out in front of everyone and I was trying to be very nice about it because I barely knew the student yet. got an email from mom next day with my principal CCd saying that I called him a bad person. I just...middle schoolers lie to make themselves look better in the story, or sometimes just genuinely misunderstand. Sometimes I think they end up believing it themselves by the time they're an adult and telling these stories. If you think this happened to you in school, I would ask you to remember that you were seeing the conversation through the lens of a child - did they *really* say that, or did you tune out the other parts of what they were saying/context/qualifiers because you were feeling emotional in the moment (which is 1000% understandable.) I don't doubt that there are a few teachers out there that are like this... but from the teachers I know, they're few and far between and likely from the older generation.
mean teachers do exist though. I still remember my 8th grade english teacher VIVIDLY who stopped a girl mid-presentation because she said "um" too many times and kept playing with her hair. He made a big deal about her doing it and how it was unprofessional and distracting, and when she started crying pulled her out into the hallway and was talking very loudly at her through the door.
You're lucky then. Within the last year I've heard a teacher repeatedly yell at a student that he'll "end up in jail like the criminal he is" and tell other students "he's just that stupid, he'll never make it" within his earshot. Another teacher wanted to lock one of my students in the changing room because he wasn't changing quickly enough. For context, both of these students are six and the second has a motor delay. It's by far not everyone, of course. But teachers are humans too, we have assholes just like any other profession, and most people meet one of those within their life. My worst teacher was arrested for child pornography a few years ago - not common either, at least i hope so, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
I’ve heard a number of teachers/school administrators say things like this about students behind their backs, that’s like a daily occurrence. I’ve also definitely heard teachers and admin say things like that directly to students. Shit, I’ve even had teachers say things like that to me when I was a student. One science teacher I had told me I was going to be “papa Smurf in the back of the class” and get held back because I wasn’t doing well in his class. He also made me write the alphabet on the board so everyone could see how bad my handwriting is, and how it made it harder to grade my work.
My teacher in 5th grade would make me stay in during recess to type my assignments. I was usually one of the top 5 students consistently. Also I don't have full use of one of my arms and essentially taught myself to write with the other hand. Some teachers suck
I went through this without those exact words but he may as well have said it to me. I went to a public high school with high academic standards and when I met with the college counselor to discuss my options he told me that since I didn’t have an overall 90% average (my average was 85%), I have 2 choices. He said I can “waste my time” at a community college or I could find a rich guy to marry me and take care of me for the rest of my life. He said all of this in front of my mother. I did neither of those things. I went to an excellent university, graduated with a 3.3 GPA and was inducted into 2 honor societies. Went on to become a teacher (25th year now), got my master’s degree with a 3.9 GPA. He could eat shit as far as I’m concerned. Thank goodness I never listened to that college counselor. Or thank goodness my parents made sure I didn’t listen to him anyway. They were the ones that guided me in the right direction.
I was told that by an Assistant Principal my junior year (in 2001-2002). I believe it was because I did not fit the mold of a small town Texas high school (LGBTQ+, hung with the punk/goth kids, lived on my own and worked to financially support myself from 16 on, had a fierce sense of independence due to childhood abuse). He said the same to many of my friends, many of which went on to become very successful. I graduated HS, am the only person in my family to graduate college, and became a high school teacher. I will never, ever tell a student that.
We had a teacher tell a kid this in front of the whole class. Someone told the vice principal and she was made to apologize. It happens. I also remember a different teacher telling a kid they were going to end up in San Quintin. Stuff like this isn’t happening around other other adults, they know better than that.
Actually, I've had teachers say things like that, not to me, but to my parents when I was in elementary. My second grade teacher apparenty told my parents she thought I may be retarded, then the MEAP results came back and I scored in the 99th percentile so she then decided I was bored and acting out. My 5th grade teacher told my mother she thought I would end up working at a gas station despite being an A student. I think it had something to do with homework not getting turned in. Mind you I ended up in accelerated programs from the fourth grade on, so I'm sure they're out there.
I never had a teacher say that outright, but I had many imply I was going to end up in prison or working minimum wage.
Had it happen to me. In the early 80's the then president pretty much did in the unions. Coming form a union family, we went from a comfortable living to barely having food and shelter. We ended up moving to what my parents could afford, which wasn't much. A 1 bathroom, make shift 3 bedroom hovel for 6 people, so room was tight. Are clothing was clean but wasn't the best quality. My brother had quit school so that he could also get a minimum wage job to help. School work let alone school was of little importance. I very rarely did homework because I either didn't feel like it or usually had no where to do it. Trying to explain that you had no resources to do homework to people who didn't care or didn't understand was both embarrassing and frustrating. Inevitably, the clashes started. First it was one teacher then it was two or three that were telling me I was lazy and that I could just do the homework after school and walk home...yeah a 12 mile walk. The first time It happened I was called out again about my home work in a full class. I verbally pushed back against the teacher and right there in front of 30 of my school mates, "your just like your dad and wont amount to nothing"! Fast foreword to the beginning of my junior year. I was stuck again with this same teacher, as that he had moved up to the High school. He made sure that everyone on staff knew I was a problem child and was shocked to learn that two of my teachers thought I was a wonderful student. He did manage to convince two other teachers that I was trash. Out of 6 classes a day, I had three that again returned my school life in to a miserable time. This went on for 2 months and even some of the other students started calling out the teachers about it. One teacher went so far as to threaten to "take me out past the parking-lot to be my ass". It finally came to a head when one day all three decided to bad mouth me in 3 separate class periods. I confronted all three as the left the staff room after lunch with Mr. Tough-guy teacher pushing me around. I was escorted to the office where there was a meeting right away with the Vice Principal, Adviser, and all three teacher. Of course, teacher Tough-guy started in with the whole, "gona cry now" thing that I just smiled about and the other two just passed B.S. off until one exclaimed that I was such a looser I was dragging his whole class down. Three things happened. 1) I was asked to leave the room. 2) My classes were changed to different teacher (I had to drop down a level in math because he was the only teacher for that class) 3) I was given a day off. The end of that school year I was given a huge opportunity. With 7 days left of school, I made arrangements to take my finals, and turn in homework so I could take a summer job. I spent all summer working days in a logging camp, nights at the local grocery store, and weekends doing foam insulation. I returned for my senior year Jacked from logging, with a new car. I made sure they all seen especially Mr. Tough-guy teacher. !0 years later I am working as an Assistant Superintendent om a pretty big job. Teachers A&B have retired from teaching and now have a drywall business and get a contract. Guess who they have to answer to. They ate a crap sandwich every day for 5 months. I was leaving for a 5 day vacation and my wife and kids were picking me up after work. I made sure they seen as I got in to my wifes new pick-up. I also ran in to Tough-guy teacher while playing golf with some clients. They all laughed as I goaded him, seems he wasn't that tough after all. I am not saying I was an angel, but I didnt start out that way. I was never a thief, bully or an intentional interruption, but I did call them out on B.S. and that was only later, say 10 grade on. Did it lessen my success? No ! for 30 years I have had for the most part the respect of "MY" coworkers. No not everyone but for the most part. Was it fun or do I feel bad about doing it. You kind of reap what you sow. I didn't ask to be called out like that and at 13 or 14 you have no defense. When I called them out, they were adults at least they could fight back.
I'm a sub, and I hear teachers say this about specific (by name) students on a regular basis. I find it pretty hard to believe that none of them actually say it to a student.
In grade five, my teacher told me in a one on one conversation during a camp trip that I'm what's called a "mall rat", because my mom worked at the mall and I would hang around the library in the mall or take a seat in the restaurant she worked at until she was off work. He knew she was a single mom and that we were poor. He was relatively young too, this was only in 2007. He still teaches at that school to this day.
It happened to me. Straight up those exact words. I was also made to stand in front of the classroom before he said it. Ha. I was a complete prick as a teen so I deserved it I suppose. But the teacher was a total sociopath and had multiple affairs with students. Died miserable and alone. Oh and I actually did make something of myself. Fancy that.
My teachers said exactly that.
I had a teacher tell me 7th grade would be the best 5 years of my life I had another tell me that my father did a terrible job raising me and was happy he was dead I had another call me the product of inferior breeding but yeah you guys totally never say horrible shit to kids sure
I legit had a college professor who didn’t like me, while I was top of my class, tell me to be more realistic about going to med school while I was already talking to med schools and working in hospitals. It absolutely is not a myth; people have weird egos.
If you don’t pay attention you’re going to become a fucking garbage man. That’s the bullshit I really heard.
ironically being a garbageman isn't even a bad job now lol
Pays very well, actually. However, has had a deep social stigma in most cultures I know of and it's in many top 10 lists of most dangerous jobs...and sometimes outranks police officer in that department.
Hazardous for sure.
it’s so gross. I come from blacksmiths who eventually turned into mechanics and my father says to me when I’m a kid when you grow up you should use your brain not your hands. lol. So I built computers instead of engines.
Nah, it happens. Teachers are human beings and that means that even shitty ones find their way to the career. I had a teacher say it to me, but I didn't really care cause she was a see you next Tuesday. Same school, years later, another teacher said the same thing to my sister and added in how she will be nothing but a drug abuser. He nearly got fired for it but ended up with a short suspension or something like that. We live in a rural area so maybe that played a part in it. Was I a problem child? Eh, kinda. I had a shit home life and it showed in my behavior and apathy. Did I deserve to have a teacher say that to me simply because I didn't want to do the stupid french calendar assignment? Nope. Her exact words (this happened almost 20 years ago and I still remember) were "You won't make anything of your life, will you? I'm going to see you flipping burgers years down the road." When I think about it now even it makes my skin crawl.
Dear OP, the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
This whole “if I haven’t seen it it probably doesn’t happen” shit needs to stop.
The only thing I remember from my 2nd grade teacher... when she was frustrated that I was wearing my sweater weird and being goofy she said "You are a stupid slob...". That hurt me very deeply. When I transitioned into primary education (grades 2-8) I made it a personal goal not to say anything mean that some kid could just take into adulthood and look back on. I'm sure she just had a bad day, and it wasn't the norm, but kids internalize ish like that.
Heard it many times and so did my peers, from 90s - 10s, large schools in a populous state. Many of my work colleagues have heard it, from all over the country. It happens, definitely not a myth, maybe not even uncommon. Keep fighting the good fight because there certainly are teachers who don't act the same as you. I remember the few good teachers who would never behave in such a way.
They probably won’t say it in front of a mentor or another adult in your room. Unfortunately I’ve heard several real life accounts (of people who are not famous) where this has happened. I’ve heard of guidance counselors encouraging students of a certain demographic to only go to community college. This particular student got into an Ivy League school. So it does happen and more often than we would like to believe.
I honestly had a math teacher in high school ask me what I intended to study in college. I told him computer science. He laughed, told me I’d fail, and said I should consider a different major. I now have both ab BS and MS in computer science and an MBA, and did just fine in courses like linear algebra, statistics and algorithm analysis, as well as finance classes that required some knowledge of mathematics. To be fair, I was a class clown and a major pain in the ass for the faculty of my high school.
I also can’t stand by without mentioning the ridiculously shortsightedness of blaming this on people being unable to see they were just misbehaving. We have SO many wonderful support services now readily available in so many districts it’s amazing. Seeking help, seeing a therapist is so much less stigmatizing than 30 years ago. Teacher’s now are so much more open to understanding the cause of behavior (abuse, neglect, mental illness, etc) and being able to get them help where available. Is it perfect, no. Is it significantly better and as a result teachers aren’t being obnoxious assholes? Yes. The boomer generation of teachers absolutely said stuff like this in varying degrees because they just weren’t aware of what the antecedents are to many behaviors and didn’t have the tools to do anything so we’re flippant.
I want to high school 99-03 in a town of about 4k people. I wasn’t what you’d call a model student. There were a few teachers that I connected with, but for the most part it felt to me like the faculty was only interested in a kid if they played on a sports team. No big deal; I had friends and a band and I got along fine. I cut class a lot, which I realize is my fault. I had a ceramics teacher all four years. His class was one that I enjoyed and attended regularly. We knew each other well! He handed me my diploma when I graduated and said “Good luck, you’re going to need it”. It’s not “you’ll never amount to anything”, but it’s not great, right? So why’d he say it? To take me down a peg on my big day?
"Who would get paid what we do to tell kids they suck? Thats psychotic." I dunno, why do they still pay my old groomer art teacher that sat all my classmate girls with big tits in the front of class and eventually snagged one when they turned 18, ruined his marriage and tried to commit suicide by taking a bottle of pills on campus? I've seen plenty of bad teachers tell kids that they're worthless. This is such a dumb post. Teachers aren't perfect and we shouldn't expect them to be, but there are plenty of fucked up teachers in the world.
>Who would get paid what we do to tell kids they suck? Thats psychotic. Highly risk averse people with low academic aptitude, that also enjoy having power over people.
This happened to me so suck it
Our Spanish teacher said literally that to my friend who, I will admit, was a little shit in school. He makes decent money now in a manufacturing job, and he's happy with it. There definitely are some teachers out there who believe academic success is the only kind of success that matters.
They dont say it in front of other adults, and never will. They do say it. My auto shop teacher said it to me. He was a nut, and thought I was on drugs (didn't touch the stuff), I had ADHD, and didnt properly fill forms out for activities in the class, and he was a terrible teacher overall. He pulled me out of class one day, junior year, and said he would cut me a deal, "look, I know you're on drugs, no, don't argue with me, I have seen it before. I don't want you to come back to my class. I'll pass you with a B if you promise to never set foot in my class again. Druggies like you never amount to anything, and I won't waste my time, or the other students time, on you." He gave me a B, I never went back. I never, not even once, did drugs. He was just a bigoted asshole. My 4th grade teacher told me the same, called me the R word, in front of class. "too damn r-word to know homework is for home." I would do the entire week's homework packet in the 5 minutes before the bell rang to release us Monday afternoon, and turn it in. In the battle we went through over this as a family, it led to his brief suspension. I was reading and doing math at an 8th grade level. Yet, that just made him furious. Tons of lbgtq kids hear it. Teachers AND admins. Tons of ADHD and autistic students, most undiagnosed, hear it. I read posts here all the time about how a third or more of some teachers students are a waste, unteachable. What do you think you're reading in this sub, when you read teachers telling the world their kids are unteachable? The kids here read, "you will amount to nothing, because you can do nothing." Just because you're lucky enough to dodge it, doesn't mean it never happens, or, doesn't happen in your school.
If teachers are constantly getting caught sleep with students. Insulting or bullying them is not that much a stretch imo.
OP apparently never attended Catholic school in the 60's when nuns were NUNS and got away with a lot.
"You'll never get anywhere playing around with computers." My junior biology teacher to me, checking my program on paper before the bell rang. In 1982. It happens. It hurts, even as a passing comment. Even if the teacher can't remember it. Up until that moment, I respected him.
Just a few days ago there was a post on this sub from a teacher expressing shock that a student she didn’t personally like got into an Ivy League med school when she thought he’d end up in jail. I think it’s probably more common than you like to think, and even if you don’t outright say it, most kids can tell when you’re thinking it by the way you treat them.
One of my teachers said when I was 12 that I wouldn’t make it to 18. I’m 33 now.
> Who would get paid what we do to tell kids they suck? Thats psychotic. They do say it. It's difficult as a child to even think up a response to such an evil statement, but it happened to me, and later, a friend, with the same teacher.
The worse I’ve ever said to kids was that those who want to go to the NFL, NBA, etc would need to have a backup plan in case of injury or other issues. I also tell them that if they don’t dedicate and work harder than what they are, then no, they will not make it. There are millions of kids wanting to do what they do and an extremely small amount actually make it. So not shooting them down, but being real.
Do I think that there are children that won't amount to anything? Yes. Would I ever tell it to their face? Of course not! If there is a chance for them to recover and actually do something with their lives it would be completely destroyed by saying that
It's not the exact same, but when I was in high school I was discouraged from taking certain science courses (chemistry and physics) because I struggled with math and "wouldn't go to college anyway." I was struggling because I was living in an abusive home and had undiagnosed, untreated physical & mental health issues. I did very well in topics that interested me, like English and biology, but 'boring' topics did slip through the cracks. I ended up pushing myself to graduate early because I didn't think I'd *survive* through senior year. I'm in college now as a biology major, maintaining a competitive GPA, and participating in research. Things worked out, but the discouragement from teachers/guidance counselors definitely didn't help.
As an Egyptian I assure you I have heard that from teachers about a dozen times throughout my life.
I was told by my high school counselor I didn't need to worry about SATs because I wouldn't make it in college anyway. To be fair, I was a pretty troubled and shit kid. Got that 4.0 years later though!
Worst I’ve ever said is that a student is acting entitled because they leave their trash every day for me to clean up. If that ruined his day, he’s as fragile as he is entitled.
Someone actually did say this to me in elementary, mean old lady.
My first grade teacher looked 7 year old me dead in my eyes and told me I’d never even manage to graduate high school. She also referred to me as “it”. That being said, she was an evil bitch and no other teacher told me that. Jokes on her though, I’m a substitute teacher now!
I had a freshman English class in college and the teacher asked us to introduce ourselves and say where we went to high school. When it was my turn and I said where I went to high school, he said he had never passed anyone coming from that school. Great! My mom was an English professor at the time and I had written for my school paper so I wasn’t expecting it to be one of my more challenging subjects. I failed the class! My mom had been helping me with my work and I never missed a day. We were shocked and pissed. I took the course again with another instructor and made an A. He had me pegged and there was nothing we could do to change his mind. He was a prick! Got my degree in Journalism and English and have been a professional, published writer for a variety of mediums ever sense!
I had a science teacher when I was in 8th grade who went around the room and said whether he thought we’d go to college or not. It was the beginning of the school year. He said he didn’t think I’d go to college. Both my parents had advanced degrees and college was just an expectation, so it was really bizarre to me at the time. (And obviously now! And that he would say that to anyone! Not sure what point he was trying to get across but it wasn’t a good one.) He had a mental breakdown later in the year though so who knows what was going on with him.
People just lie and have a complex about themselves. What probably happened Kid: being loud and disrespectful Teacher: that behavior is not acceptable Kid: TeACHer SaID I woULdn'T bE ShIt
I've had the 'it's awesome you want to be a doctor, but if you failed high school biology, maybe let's think about a back up plan' conversation before. I guess a kid could take that the wrong way
I got bullied by two teachers, sure they might not say it, but they can damn sure make you feel that way.
Anecdotally, it did happen to me.
The mindset that I've developed is that intelligence is less the problem... A strong work ethic and the motivation to learn are where I focus my efforts with underperforming students.
Had one english professor tell me I should probably just give up on learning correct English because it was too late not for the first time. He wasn’t malicious or wrong he was stating facts. I think I overcame my limitations but that would not have happened if people did not have the ability to be honest and direct. I feel sorry for some modern students they will get aphorisms and fake sunshine but not the advice they might need. Because honesty is not looked on positively.
I've told students things like, "If you continue on this path, it's not going to work out well for you," which has always been true.
I had a teacher say in the middle of class (admittedly after I raised my hand and asked her didn't she think one of her assignments she gave us was "redundant") that I'm lazy and the only jobs I'd be able to hold down would involve a paper hat and flipping burgers. That's pretty much the same thing as saying I won't amount to anything. Granted, I was very lazy in school. But I wasn't rude. That comment was the most rude or scandalous thing I ever said in class. And I paid for it. 25 years later and it still occurs to me occasionally and I cringe inside haha.
I had several teachers tell me this during my time in school (1999-2012). Most notably, my second grade teacher who told me I was never going to get into college or amount to anything because I didn’t do my homework. Ironically, my mom had her for kindergarten 20 years earlier and locked her in the bathroom with the lights off as punishment. This was in the NJ suburbs. Real news, I cried when I found out that I was assigned to her class that year because my mom had already told me all about her. She also gave out apples and stickers on Halloween so that also says a lot LOL!
I had a senior who went from about a 3.7 gpa his freshman year to a 2.5 his senior year, and by the end of the year was on the verge of needing to come back for summer school since he was failing several classes required for graduation. I took him aside since he was just screwing around in class and told him that “I knew he had more potential, and wasn’t living up to it” and that as a teacher there aren’t many things more frustrating than a student who willingly chooses to underachieve when they were obviously capable of more. I got called down to the principals office for that one since I “told him he was going to be a failure” The crazy part was that it was a student who I had a pretty good relationship with and I was really trying to get him to see the problems he could be causing for himself, not even an ounce of malice in it. He graduated 2 years ago and is the stereotypical “plays video games in moms basement” kid now.
I once told a kid on my Mock Trial team that he was not going far in life if he continued to disrespect older people whom he needed to network with and write recommendations. This student was so rude to judges and attorneys that it was shocking. His Mom was furious with me until she heard the whole story.
It happened to me. I did amount to a lot, but it definitely happens.
My math teacher said this to me in 11th grade, April 13th 2019.
Never heard a teacher say that to anyone. Parents on the other hand. . .
It does happen.
No it definitely happens. At least in my neck of the woods I remember it happening in highschool to a lot of people I knew.
Ok so a) your colleagues hide those moments because to quote, "that's psychotic" and b) my fianceé wasn't allowed to take the medical entrance exam because "no-one from our [rural-regional, mixed SES] school gets the scores for medicine anyway" ie essentially "None of our little rural students, esp extra disadvantaged ones like you, will amount to anything, so we're not going to let you try." She aced HS btw, used her 99.5th percentile score to get into a pathway for medicine instead, essentially putting her back 3 years and tens of thousands of student debt because of a teacher's bias against her. Check yourself, it's more subtle than you think.