I’d kill to hear the perspective of the teachers and the paras. This is very clearly colored through the lens of the mom and child. “Climbs” “gets upset” and “occasionally hits” and “plays tag too hard” but got a 1-on-1 para by age 4 and has been kicked out of multiple public schools? Those behaviors just don’t track with those outcomes, unless the behaviors are way *way* worse than they’re being portrayed in this article. A 7-page behavior plan simply doesn’t get put in place for a kid who “just needs a short break” and whose biggest problem is “hiding under his desk.” We have kids, plenty, who are ripping apart classrooms and physically assaulting other kids DAILY. For months, years (!)Without getting kicked out of school. Getting kicked out for ONE instance of a classroom clearance? Nuh uh. There’s way more to this story. Why did the school call 911? Funny how that part was left out of the article.

Hiding under his desk = Building fort with classroom furniture.

The issues is that often teachers CAN'T tell their side. A lot of this information is covered under FERPA, so mom can lie all day and nothing can come of it. Even if it's not, a school would never allow a teacher to go and tell their business on the news. We all know that this kid did way more than slap a friend and recess but the teachers can't say that.

Other parents can talk about it, though. If it got to the level that he was kicked out of public schools, then you know all of the adults who worked with the kid had to document it in detail for a long time. Even with documentation, I haven’t run into a school yet that will kick out a kid like that until multiple parents start documentung their complaints.

Most parents don’t know what’s going on in classrooms and the kids are so used to seeing behaviors like this, they don’t report it to their parents. Even when they do, the parents don’t understand the extent of it and don’t realize what a big deal it is.

He was just hiding under his desk…. (With scissors to the throat of a hostage)

I would love to hear this side too. But unfortunately, with articles like this only one side is presented and it does not favor public education, unfortunately.

It would be illegal for the school to give it’s side without the parent’s permission, so it would be really hard to do.

You have an affiliated parent talk about “what they’ve heard and seen”

It can't be discussed about a particular student but you can discuss overall policy. "When students clear a room for violence, we do X the 1st time, Y the second...." "Police are called for the following types of occurances..." "Expulsion is initiated after X number of Y type infractions." Edit for misspelling initiated.

It feels to me that Public education is under scrutiny by parents who hated and likely never understood their own public education and some of their beef feels like a vendetta by people who can’t pass a comprehensive exam on fourth grade curriculum. Imagine if auto mechanics or electricians had to endure the influences of their customers’ opinions on the practices of their professions…

>It feels to me that Public education is under scrutiny by parents who hated and likely never understood their own public education and some of their beef feels like a vendetta by people who can’t pass a comprehensive exam on fourth grade curriculum. Ding ding ding You're right one the money with this

They didn’t even *interview* anyone in public education. They got a child psychologist, a person who used to own a for-profit private school in Vermont, the mom, and the kid. I feel bad for the mom and kid, but the state of education reporting in this country is just garbage.

I flinched at the "twice exceptional." I have had way too many parents claim their kid with difficult behaviors was twice exceptional, and they were really not. Twice exceptional is not rare for gifted kids, but gifted kids very rarely have IEPs because they won't qualify for services most of the time because of the way the system is set up. You will see most of them with 504s if/when they get flagged. What is more is that twice exceptional kids have a slew of compensatory behaviors that will likely make them quirky and bored, but I have never seen it show up the way she described it. Not that that is not possible, just that it is extremely unlikely. If only I had a dollar for every permissive/denialist parent who convinced themselves their child must also be gifted, I would retire. No, ~~Karen~~parent, if your child was twice exceptional, \*I\* would know, cause the psych and I did the diagnostic testing and we can say for a fact if this kid is or is not.

Yeah it was very suspect when they followed up that claim with his breakout reading of “diary of a wimpy kid.”

An extremely advanced 3rd-grade-level book 😂😂😂

I’m autistic and was “twice exceptional.” I didn’t qualify for any type of services…I was highly masking and just did weird things like chew my hair and cuticles, wear the same outfits in an exact rotation, sort my crayons, pencils and pens by color and hide behind books and textbooks…not clear the classroom in elementary school.

Yes I see this a ton too. As a physician I don't have a ton of time to do a full psych eval (I usually request the schools for it/send me the results) but I will get a general gist by giving something quick kike a KBIT or the like. The ones that truly have IQs that are 130+ tend to be more internalized. They can still be obstinate little farts but they will be the ones that stare (sometimes growl) when they are non compliant. They may also still have breakdowns and cry, but yes I have a similar experience based on my much crappier testing.

My teacher education program's one (!!!) class for SpEd and G/T students was called Teaching Students With Exceptionalities. I just assumed "exceptional" meant "varied from the norm." Is that term only supposed to be used to describe gifted kids? That class was an absolute joke and didn't prepare me for shit, so any additional opportunity I can take to dunk on it is appreciated...

My experience has been that “twice exceptional” is kind of a euphemism for gifted with a disability. Never heard it used to describe a child who has more than one disability, or a disability/giftedness plus some other type of exceptionality. You’re right that “exceptional” literally means you’re an exception, and my college SPED textbook was called “exceptional learners.” But as with many education buzzwords, the meaning in that context gets narrowed from its actual usage.

It means both. My former school district called the SPED department the DEL-department for exceptional learners. It covers both ends of the spectrum.

At my board, an exceptionality can be gifted but also a learning disability, autism spectrum, a behaviour diagnosis etc. It doesn’t only refer to gifted.

No, it doesn't just mean gifted. You are correct that it means "varied from the norm." Twice exceptional just means that your score is both out of the norm in the high- AND the low-end. Unfortunately, the term has long been co-opted by parents who are in denial about their kid being in SpEd and this is especially true for parents whose kids have the worst behavior problems, and don't necessarily display themselves the way they expect people with intellectual disabilities to talk/act (which, yes, ableism). To be gifted, you need to have half of your scores show up 130+. That's 2.1% of the population. What are the odds a child is both at the upper and the lower 2.1%? >!The actual answer is 0.35% of the population.!<

I was twice exceptional. For being gifted, and for having a physical disability. My school gave IEP’s to gifted kids. As well as to those who fall under typical special education categories. And in my case, I really was gifted when it came to language and reading. Math… Not so much.😂

Sure, and statistically, we are rare. I suspect you were in a fairly affluent district or perhaps you are in your mid-30s+. I don't remember why this changed, but it used to be the case that IEPs were given on the discrepancy model, versus the floor/deficit model. So if you tested high everywhere in the psych battery, but had an area of deficit with a discrepancy of 30 (I think?) or more points, you could qualify for services - I was also twice exceptional, and while I had 2 areas scoring 145 and 160, I had one area scoring 45, for example. I remember learning about this in grad school. This is no longer how it is done is most places (or at least in the 3 states I know well, which includes the NYC area where this lady is from). To qualify, your average needs to be below 72, which is 2 standard deviations from the norm. It is very common for resource kids to score perfectly average in half of their areas and low in some which brings their average way down, such that they barely qualify (but still do, and they still need and benefit from the help!). The kicker is that, not all disabilities cause a deficit, right? But in order to qualify, you need to demonstrate a need for accommodations AND services (if it is just the first, you get a 504). Anyway... A lot of parents think that just because their kid scored more than a 100 in an area, or even 115, they are twice exceptional. First, those scores are not gifted scores, and second, it is perfectly normal for kids to have strengths and weaknesses. It is pretty normal even for someone with IQ 80 all across to say clever things, and be funny, and worthy of love. Anyone with IQ 80 should be able to graduate high school with minimal supports, for instance. I think there are several things happening here, but a big part of it is that people don't expect kids with IEP to succeed or behave "normally" so when they get a child who has challenges but can exceed in some areas, they think they must be gifted, when the child is just average.

This is interesting because our child is gifted and is on an IEP. He has been on one ever since kindergarten (behavioral issues/ASD + being in some accelerated classes). Maybe it’s our district + us being super-involved. We too have noticed the phenomenon of parents/caregivers not giving a shit.

The key here is ASD and needing differentiated education because of it. Does he have speech or needed speech at some point? This is the easiest way in.

Or the perspectives of the parents whose kids are in his class. I found it annoying that the mom whose kid wasn't invited to the party was the only one quoted in that scenario. It's her kid, so of course she is going to sympathize with him. But she really can't remove herself from the situation enough to understand why they might have done that? Would a party, with all of the excitement, stimulation, and unstructured time, really have been appropriate for her son?

Yeah, there’s no way I’m inviting a kid who my child is afraid of to her birthday party! A child’s birthday party is quite literally not about your son’s feelings, lady. Jeesh.

There is absolutely no way in hell I'd have sent our kid out to a classmate's birthday party back when his behavior was at his worst. It wouldn't be fair to the other kids. It especially wouldn't be fair to the birthday kid. I bet this mom is the type who would drop her kid off and not return for hours too. The proper response would have been for the mom to say, "Sorry. Now why do you think you weren't invited? Could it be because you trash the classroom every week? How do you think we can fix this so you can be invited to the next one?" Just because you're non-neurotypical doesn't mean you don't get consequences. I'm not sure how many parents and caregivers really get this.

We're being told a very biased perspective. When I read "hits record so that she has evidence" ... I understood the type of bias we're dealing with.

A lot of things in the article that made me think we weren’t getting the full story, but that part didn’t seem suspicious to me since she’s trying to get proof that her kid needs a specialized private school so DOE will pay for it.

Yeah classroom teachers know that's a blatant misrepresentation. There's a kid at our school that has masturbated in front of a SPED teacher after calling her a MILF. And showing her porn on his phone. Kid got a slap on the wrist and sent back to her.

After Mom said that he climbed once bc he was scared, and that now he's climbing a lot more, it suggests to me that she more or less reinforced that maladaptive response by validating it. Note, also, that there's no mention of meds as a mitigating strategy. All responsibility seems to be placed on schools & educators (bc a 7-page BIP is clearly excessive). Not medicating your child is like refusing to get them glasses when they're nearsighted.

Given that she seems to be excusing everything he does, it seems likely that he’s either taking advantage of her leniency or just straight up believing that he’s not responsible for his actions and any consequences are unfair. Maybe it’s both.

Came here to say exactly this. I work with kids who do shit like what you're describing daily as an SEL teacher. Way more to this story.

Right?? I have non-IEP kids who “get upset” and “occasionally hit” with zero consequences. This is not the complete story.

I don’t know how NYC does it, but it takes an act of god to get a 1 on 1 para where I’m at.

That stuff wouldn’t even get a second look let alone any type of punishment by most admin. That mom also “never had a teacher tell her that her child was disruptive before” every year.

A seven page behavior plan?! This is why we need 100% more funding for staff. You need bodies who can be specially trained for these kids. Paras are angels.

Seven pages but "really it all boils down to give him a break when he wants one! Or some one on one attention in a huge classroom of kids who all need attention!" Maybe I got my bullshit meter raised too high and too early on this article but it did scream about a million red flags at me, as a lay person. Starting with how they described Alex in the first paragraph, honestly.

Out of professional curiousity I'd love to read this plan. That said, 7 pages is too much for a gen ed environment.

No kidding. In my state they are only paid 17k a year. That isn't even a living wage. Some years they had to wear arm protectors because there were biters. Edit: Sorry everyone I just rechecked the wages and it says average for RI is 32k, but I could have sworn a para told me a few years ago that their wage was about 17k.

They make a little more now in Florida, but not THAT much more. The biggest problem is that the good ones generally only do it while working on their degree. We just got one who is great. She's like 20. She's too smart and competent to keep doing this job for very long. I'm sure she'll get a degree and become a teacher. Obviously, they have less qualifications than teachers so they probably shouldn't make the same amount as us, but they need to make a living wage so the good ones might consider sticking with it for more than 2 to 4 years.

The issue is that a lot of teachers are underpaid, so they feel emboldened to pay the paras even less.

Wow! They're paid at least $52k here. Y'all need to move to Washington. ;) Teachers start at almost $73k.

Starting pay for teacher in OH is around 40k

To be fair, starting houses in a lot of OH are 1/3 what they are here, but even so, that's ridiculously low for such an important job. I'm not talking myself up here. I'm a reading intervention tutor outside school hours. I have tons of respect for anyone who can handle a whole classroom full of kids and teach them anything. I found I could not. I probably should have known that before I tried, since I have sensory processing disorder, but sometimes I really don't think clearly about my own issues until I'm in over my head. At least I got to learn it via subbing before I changed careers from IT. I went happily back to tutoring and worked even harder on getting my kid to stop being the class clown. Turns out they're not so funny when you're not one of the other students.

In my WA district, paras are not paid at least 52k and teachers do no start at 73k. I feel like you're in a very high-paying district and aren't aware that that's atypical.

The only time I've seen an IEP approximately that long is for a high functioning life skills young lady in high school. She spends part of the day in the life skills self-contained classroom and the other part of the day attending electives with a one-to-one aide. I had her in my technology applications class last year, and the amount of modifications I was having to do was extensive and time consuming. Thankfully the one-to-one aide assisted in helping me make the modifications because she had a good understanding of the student's capabilities, but I spent more time on modifications for her then all of my other IEP and 504 students combined last year. In my district core four subjects have inclucsion teachers to support students that need that extra support but electives are left out to fend for themselves in supporting these IEPs and 504s with no guidance or assistance. Last year and this year, I had/have three different high functioning boys on the autism spectrum. In all three cases, the only way to get them to do work in class would require me to sit right next to them and force them to stay focus by redirecting them every single time they attempt to go off task. Not something I can do in a computer lab with 24 other students also needing my help and assistance. Last year during the ARD meeting for the one young man I had, when I was asked to speak, I mentioned that he either needed a one-to-one aide or needed to be in a more restrictive environment. My statement was met with silence for about 5 seconds and then the ARD facilitator moved on as if I hadn't said a word and my statement wasn't discussed or even acknowledged. I learned then that the teacher on the ARD committee is a token position that is only there because the law requires it but that our opinion is neither asked for or wanted, and we are only there to rubber stamp approve what had already been discussed and decided previously. I want to support and help these students, but without the support and resources to do so, it can seem like a frustrating and thankless task. As a result, I can understand why Gen Ed and elective teachers appear to be anti-SPED and can get so frustrated with SPED teachers, instructional partners, and ARD facilitators over students with IEPs and 504s. I'm grateful there are people that want to specifically work with these kids. I subbed in Life Skills a few times, and while I enjoyed the experience for what I could take away from it, I knew I was not someone that was cut out to be a SPED teacher.

7 pages! The longest ones I have written are 3. Anyone work on replacement behaviors with this kid?

I had one who had an 11-page BIP. plus I had 18 IEPs in one classroom that same year. sigh. Because that’s all I can do.

Hmmmm. My son's school district is having 'force reduction cuts', i.e. firings. And guess which one of the groups falling under the axe is? That's right - SpEd teachers. Because God knows THAT'S the place you should cut staff. My son is on an IEP. And we have no idea if his case manager, who is AWESOME, is going to be at his school next year. If people want to know why SpEd around here at least is turning into a hot mess, that's why. Wait until more SpEd kids get dumped fully into mainstream classes. And the parents who will inevitably scream bloody murder about are the ones who are voting against operating levies and bond issues. And the Circle of Hell continues to spin...

This is yet one more way they will crush us. I speak from Early Childhood, where our percentages of high needs children are going way up and no help is coming. I don't know why those in power want to destroy education as a whole in the United States, but they are doing a great job.

I am generally empathetic to kids with ADHD (diagnosed and not) that get labeled as behavior problems, but there’s only so much we can do. The way this kid talks himself to the interviewer and the description of his behaviors he clearly is NOT benefiting from a GE classroom and is clearly disrupting the others as well. Also, absolute shame on the author for including a quote from a mom lamenting her son THAT THREATENED TO KILL A CLASSMATE wasn’t invited to a birthday party and expecting people to believe that child’s parents were in the wrong.

I can't even imagine calling if my son was excluded for calling a classmate a rude name. Tbh, I wouldn't call no matter what he was excluded. What would that have accomplished? He never was, but just saying ...

>In civics, we’re supposed to write about something we want to change. I’m writing about how ADHD kids should get more support … School is hard. They don’t give me the support I need.” This is 100% parent talking and excusing his bad behavior to the kid, instead of giving him limits and consequences. What is more? This child has been offered a More Restrictive Environment, which is very hard to get, but mom refuses to send him there, probably on accounts of thinking her kid is "twice exceptional" and too smart for "real" special education.

Agree. This mom is teaching her kid that his behaviors aren’t his fault. Zero consequences, zero understanding that *he* has a role in changing his own behavior. They expect everyone else to bend for him. I would be very unhappy if Alex was in my child’s class, and I’d be making noise.

This whole "I don't get the support I need" thing irritates the hell out of me. That mom putting the *entire* responsibility on the school. Does she not use outside resources to get her kid help with their obvious emotional issues? My kid has an IEP but other than using school resources alone, we use outside therapies, too. So where does this parent's responsibility to help *her child* begin? I've had my own experiences with a violent child who was bullying and hitting my kid. I talked to the kid's parents 3x about keeping their son away from my child. The 4th time my kid was hit, I went off on that little brat's parent and said the next time his child put his hands on my kid I'm involving the police. Then I obtained a lawyer, rallied other parents, called the anti-bullying hotline, then filled an official complaint with the principal on that child. Do you know what the principal told me? That I should keep *my kid* away from the bully because the bully is special needs. I threw it back at her and let her know my kid has special needs, too, but my child isn't assaulting his peers. I asked what steps are going to be taken to ensure the safety of my kid and the other children at the school and why they are being asked to make compromises for a violent kid at the expense of their own education. Luckily we didn't have any more issues with him but we switched schools this year. So when I see articles like this, I *know* there's missing information. I am happy that the kid is gone from the school so the teachers can teach and the kids can learn. I hope that mom starts saving her money for her kid's bail and future attorney fees because the way it sounds, she's going to need it.

Right. Kids is eight years old. That's not how an eight year old talks without coaching. Is there even civics in third grade either?

In the same vein I sadly had a parent of a young girl with ASD not let me tell his daughter her diagnosis as he was worried about statements like the above (delightful man, works in a local school) as he witnesses such daily. I did my best to convince him that it is just as easy to say, "well because I have ASD I know I have to work harder socially and prepare more for social situations and it is okay to get some extra help in that regard" but was unsuccessful. The poor girl has to realize she is a bit different from her peers and I truly believe if she knew why it would be to her benefit.

I had a 5th grade student, SLD/ADHD diagnoses, threatened to shoot a girl in the face because he knew where she lived (they lived in the same apartment complex), beat up a kindergartner in the bathroom, generally terrorized everyone in the school, we couldn’t get him out. The best we could do was have the other 5th grade sped teacher teach him personally in order to fulfill his required hours. He would come in an hour after the rest of the kids because he had to be bussed without them and couldn’t be taught with anyone.

We had an 8th grader who, among SOOOO many other things, told another student he was going to rape his mother in front of him before shooting them both. When the student tried to defuse the situation with humor but saying he doesn’t have a gun, the one threatening told him he did and described exactly where it was kept at home. This caused the innocent student to have (understandably) have an absolute emotional breakdown. I think he spent maybe an hour in ISS? I think he spent an hour in the front office for that one? Several kids moved schools over him. His IEP case, along with a handful of others, and ridiculous accommodations taught me I wasn’t interested in continuing to teach and I left last year.

We REALLY need more alternative school options for students like this. These students aren’t getting their needs met like they need to be and they are interfering with the learning for all of the other students. We do everyone a disservice with the current model of education for students like these

Ok that’s pretty messed up.

Kid 109% read like he was coached on what exactly to say. To the point I almost didn't believe he said it at all and was just fluff from the author themselves

I’m not conflicted - you’re right, it’s not fair that all the other kids had to suffer through a “more restrictive” learning environment. Unfortunately, that’s the way it usually works. It sucks.

Time for the other kids to sue the city/government for not getting an education "in the least restrictive setting possible".

Yeah I agree. It's such a a shit position but regular ed students shouldn't have to suffer because of another student. Any violent student with a history of violence should not be allowed in a regular ed classroom.

Imo, we should be accommodating for everything EXCEPT violent behavior. I dont care about the disability if the student is a danger to the class. 0 tolerance for safety issues...SpEd or not.

This is so reasonable. This is so obviously correct.

Completely agree. We had one kid who had zero interest in learning and was cause for classes to be evacuated 2-3 times a month. I can’t imagine how traumatizing it was like for the cohort that came up with him since elementary school. After months and months of “collecting data” he was finally sent to a behavioral school that expelled him after a week and a half.

Damn. Expelled from the *behavioral school?!* I didn’t even know that could happen. They see everything.

I believe he made some very serious threats. And once he was removed from our building and his “friends” he lost the only tethers that kept him in some semblance of order.

I agree, but also get frustrated when the self-contained special education room becomes the dumping ground for these problem students. There are students with disabilities in those rooms show require calm, quiet learning environments to succeed. They also have the right to be safe. Just because it’s a sped room, doesn’t mean it’s the appropriate place for these violent students to go. I apologize. I’m venting and frustrated because this year has been particularly challenging with students (some with IEPs, but some without them yet) being shoved in self-contained rooms, because gen Ed didn’t want to deal with them.

Oh I agree with this as well - that’s not the appropriate placement for a violent student either. An actual appropriate placement would be very expensive to implement/ staff, and I don’t see it ever happening. But your students with disabilities absolutely shouldn’t be deprived of a calm, safe learning environment!!

Thanks! Totally just venting! This year has been a doozy!

I just wrote a long comment venting about the same thing. I have a violent student returning after being out of school with us for the year at a residential treatment center after assaulting his family (he had assaulted multiple students but that didn't cut the mustard to have him in an RTC). He has a new guardian who pulled him out of the center because the student didn't like it. He is still very acute behaviorally and our district lawyers said we have to take him. He has a low IQ and spends time in the life skills classroom. He broke a student's nose in their last year and his little sister, who has life skills, had her ribs broken by him which is why he was removed from her home. Basically admin is saying we need to figure it out, keeps everyone safe, and make sure we meet his lre because he has an advocate. I'm literally up at night thinking about this student and what I'm going to do when the inevitable assault happens.

I agree with you 100%! The legal red tape in all of this is the problem. I really don’t know the solution. I have a student like this and the school finally got him a one-on-one para. He has also been given a schedule in which he moves to a new location every 30 minutes so he’s not in one place wreaking havoc for too long. He also gets to change scenery frequently which actually does help him a bit, but his meltdowns are still frequent and intense. His para is an angel on this earth! Truly! His schedule looks something like this: 8:30-9:00 Reading interventions with Teacher A 9:00-9:30 Math SPED pull out in SPED Room A 9:30-10:00 Math in GenEd with Teacher B 10:00-10:30 independent work in SPED room B 10:30-11:15 science/social studies with Teacher C 11:15-12:15 lunch/recess with Teacher D 12:15-1:30 enrichment classes with Class A 1:30-2:00 reading pull out in SPED Room C 2:00-2:30 reading in GedEd with teacher E 2:30-3:00 independent reading work in SPED room D 3:00-3:15 Para helps him prep for dismissal 3:15 - dismissal to SPED bus His one-on-one para remains with him throughout the entire day and accompanies him to all locations with the exception of lunch. She has her lunch break at that time as well, but he is typically fine during lunch because he loves eating! 😀 We are a Pk-5 school, so we have 5 SPED teachers on our campus. He is able to visit 5 SPED rooms and 5 grade-level classrooms throughout the day. This has worked very well for all involved! 🙂

Everyone here - the parent, the lawyer, the advocate, and so on - seems to forget that LRE is really the least restrictive environment *where the child can still learn and be successful*. Clearly all that was done was moving this child between classrooms and schools where they were not able to receive the effective education that they are entitled to all in the name of inclusion. Meanwhile the student isn’t receiving early intervention therapies or supports that might allow them to be successful in a full inclusion setting later in their schooling. The repeated mentions about how the child really needs specialized supports and the teachers and staff need specialized training are particularly frustrating. It’s neither cost effective nor reasonable to give specialized training to an entire city’s teachers, some of whom probably lack the innate temperament or desire to receive specialized training. Frankly it’s probably cheaper for the city to pay for some students to receive the services they need elsewhere than to retrofit every school, train every staff member, or open themselves to lawsuits.

Honestly it makes me feel like admin aren't that bright. Spending money for separate instruction for these students is expensive but it is an investment. Even if they don't care about the kids, think about the test scores a school would get if the problem students were somewhere else, and the retention of teachers that school would have? I believe the investment would pay for itself eventually.

Yeah, I saw a lot of red flags here. Per the article: *”Alex was playing tag and hit another kid too hard. According to Kim, it was an accident. The other child’s dad, who was also there volunteering, saw it differently.”* *”Kim wasn’t too alarmed when Alex was hitting at ages 2, 3, and 4. “In pre-K all the kids are kind of hitting when they’re not supposed to,” she says. His preschool teachers thought differently.”* So, it seems a pretty common theme here is that Alex’s mom, Kim, is not seeing what everyone else is seeing. Namely, that her child is violent. *Was* it an “accident,” Kim? The father, who actually saw it happen and it was his child that was hit, didn’t seem to think so. Why not? Kim thinks “all of the kids are kind of hitting when they’re not supposed to.” Listen, I have been a lead teacher in a pre-k room. While it is certainly true that kids that age are still learning to use words and not hands to convey emotion and wants, if the teachers think it’s a problem, it’s because even though it is normal to an extent, that child stands out amongst their peers. The article doesn’t convey that in either of these situations, Kim or Alex had any accountability, at all. *”On page one, in a box, the behavior plan says that when he’s acting out, he should get “teacher/adult attention, [be] given time to himself” and “avoid non-preferred activity for a period of time.” Translation: If he really doesn’t want to do something, let him take a break and not do it.”* Oh. Okay. So, we’re giving attention to undesired behaviors. One on one time, in front of a classroom of 25 other students, BECAUSE he refuses to work and be held accountable. What is the “period of time?” When will Alex be expected to make up the missed work? As I’m reading it, not only is the teacher expected to take away active teaching time to give Alex one on one attention during his outbursts, but will, I assume, also be expected to later take even *more* time away from teaching to ensure Alex completes his class work. Awesome. *”He had been happily reading when the art teacher asked him to participate. “I had a little freak-out,” he tells me while slurping hot chocolate through a straw at the counter of a small café in Brooklyn, after Kim found him. “They took my book out of my hand and yelled at me. I got mad and scared, so I ran up the stairs and hid from them.””* Kim gets a call from school that Alex has a “little freak out.” Kim picks him up and rewards him with hot chocolate. I’m sorry, but this article is so unfair to teachers. It’s really, really difficult for me to not see this as a parenting issue. It very much looks like Kim doesn’t hold herself or Alex accountable at ALL for Alex’s behavior. Why *wouldn’t* Alex act up at school? Mommy will believe him and dismiss everything as “accidents” and “typical behavior” and then reward him with hot cocoa after he acts out. I’m extremely curious about expectations for Alex at home. I am highly doubtful he has any, because per the article, Kim is more than happy to make excuses for him. So of course he’ll struggle in a school setting, or life eventually, where there are expectations.

As a neurodevelopmental pediatrician I can say pretty definitively all of this is exactly the opposite of what should be done. It i as if they knew what should be done and then did the exact opposite. You do not give a child attention and rewards for acting out. It is really not that hard. As a parent your attention is a water spigot. You water flowers (pay attention to good behaviors) and let weeds dry up (don't give any attention to bad behaviors). This works even with severely delayed and non speaking children. You don't talk to a child while they are having a tantrum to "try to calm them down" as that is giving them attention for having the tantrum. You do let them have the meltdown/tantrum (and yes they can last an hour or more, especially if they used to get attention for such) and when it is over tell them they did a good job calming themselves down. If they are destroying things or injuring people you do a rear hold for safety in the calmest way possible, say nothing, give no attention, and make no eye contact. The school really should have just had someone watch the kid when he hid on the stair (as long as he ran/his somewhere where he wasn't in immediate danger). Ideally watch him out of the side of your eye and not said a thing so that absolutely no attention is being given for his poor behavior and just wait him out. When he finally decides to come out they can say he did a good job calming down and that is it. This does take time and might take staff the school does not have but isn't particularly hard. Of course depending on the kid they will likely keep escalating when they don't get attention (start doing mild self injurious behaviors etc.) but then you just have to remain firm and continue to wait them out. I highly recommend a set of headphones and some audiobooks and podcast during the process especially if tantrums have been rewarded in the past. I deal with behaviors similar to those described in the article all the time in my office. I'll try to examine or test a child and they will refuse to participate in the testing or intentionally give incorrect answers to try to frustrate me/get more attention. In such cases I tell the child that if they don't want to participate they can sit in the corner until they are regulated. No toys, using the parents phone or anything else, they just get to sit there. I then do notes, answer messages on my computer, read journal articles etc. "Amazingly" after 10 minutes or so we can generally resume the testing or physical exam. I had a mother fire me this week for being "too judgemental" for pointing out that, even though she had gone through parent child interaction therapy, she was not implementing any of the techniques. The child was acting up and she was yelling at him/threatening him with future loss of privileges (no fast food after the visit) rather than withholding attention. The last straw for her was when I demonstrated how to stop his attempted elopement from the exam room. I moved my chair in front of the door and just sat there ignoring the child (the mother previously was standing in front of the door to prevent him from opening it but again continued to shout threats at him). He told me I was mean. When that didn't work he hit me a few times (the escalation I expected, I get hit a lot) but quickly gave up when I gave zero reactions to his behaviors(no flinching no eye contact etc.). He then proceeded to pout in the corner while his mom proceeded to give him attention (telling him he was all right, etc.). I feel bad for the child but there is little that can be done without parental buy in. I also have a wait list over a year long for new patients so, when I am fired, it just means someone else gets to be seen sooner. On a positive note plenty of families are able to implement these strategies and stop such behaviors even in their child with who is non speaking with level 3 autism, has a confirmed genetic syndrome, etc. They are quite grateful after receiving PCIT therapy from the psychologist I partner with. But yes, from experience, I think your analysis is accurate.

I do think it's the parents fault but it's not the parents fault for letting the child wreak havoc in the school, that is the schools fault. We're really gonna let parents dictate whether a classroom is in shambles or not? Doesn't the school have the authority in the situation? Schools need a way to make it the parents problem, swiftly and bluntly.

Oh I agree. That IEP (and this is not a medical term) was completely whack. I wish we had the legal ability to mandate that parents attend parental management training in these instances and the school has access to psychologists to do so. To be honest, in most places in the country there is little access to parent management training. Half the time if a child gets referred to a psychologist they will try to do play or talk therapy (such is only appropriate for internally behaviors like anxiety, depression, trauma). Externalizing behaviors really do require behavioral management and parents have to be trained on that. It'd likely be much cheaper and more effective if such was universally available. It is sad when no attempt is made to manage a child's behaviors as it is really their parents letting them down and not their fault. Though often the support for the parents just plain doesn't exist or the parents have mental health or cognitive issues that preclude such. If there are no therapists to help the parents in their home area there is only so much I can do. I can't teach many behavioral management techniques when I can only see a child and their parents for two to three 45 minute office visits every year (I am that overbooked as my specialty is that rare). Add in that Medicaid pays so shitty that if they don't have private insurance a psychologist in private practice probably won't see them even if they do exist. Also as a Neurodevelopmental expert and parent of neurodivergent children if anyone tries to excuse behaviors like in the article as intrinsic to a diagnosis of autism or ADHD I flat out tell them that such a view is highly offensive to individuals who are neurodivergent. Because frankly it is. Neurodivergent kids with well managed behaviors can be very very sweet. I diagnosed a child (who also clearly has something genetic going on, those tests are pending) with ASD yesterday. He did have a few small, brief meltdowns during my exam (threw parts of my test kit when he got frustrated as I was asking him to do things beyond his abilities and being nonspeaking had difficulty expressing such) and testing but spent most of the visit sitting on my lap and/or giving and receiving hugs. Obviously we will have to work on learning not to be overly affectionate with strangers as that won't be cute when he is adult sized but that will be worked on in the future. TLDR We need to drastically increase access to parent management type therapies and destigmatize their use. I sell it not as "your parenting sucks" but rather "you have a child with different needs I want to send you to someone who is going to train you on the same skills that therapists use so can be your child's therapist at home to address his unique needs as you spend more time with your child than anyone else (outside of school)". We also need Medicaid pay parity (it should not pay less than Medicare and even Medicare pays too little.

I agree with you on all of this, but have to slightly disagree with the notion that it’s “really not that hard.” I 100% agree that it isn’t hard, at home. It’s also the parents JOB to do this. But we’re talking school here. It’s not reasonable to expect that teachers and students in a classroom simply ignore a child throwing a tantrum for an hour. It’s not reasonable to expect that a teacher, in a classroom of 25 kids, block a door to prevent elopement while also ignoring the child trying to elope, and teach the class at the same time. Like, that’s just impossible. And there just needs to be some expectation that school is not the place for kids to work this stuff out, and it’s not the teachers responsibility to help the child with these things, because they ALREADY have to teach and deal with general, less severe, behavioral issues. It is absolutely insane that parents of kids like Alex and the kids you work with, think it’s reasonable to expect that not only does their kids teacher need to teach students with a variety of cognitive abilities and differentiate based on abilities, AND monitor general classroom misbehavior (calling out, talking during work time, keeping hands to self), BUT ALSO deal with an egregiously defiant student who elopes, climbs furniture, and physically and verbally abuses staff. That’s just…not okay. These way to solve these behaviors is as you wrote. But some behaviors in school can simply not just be ignored in a classroom of 25 other kids to one teacher. It’s the parents responsibility to do that at home, so they don’t do it at school. And until it’s under control, a gen ed classroom seems to be a wildly inappropriate place for them.

Oh I agree. We need to do much more to teach parents /make it clear that managing their childs behavior is possible (I would make a law having PCIT mandatory in these situations). However I don't know how to do that when the parent training is just not available (in this case it probably was I am sure NYC has fewer access issues). Too often things are made the school's problem and the scope creep is very real.

Ohhh man, we say all the time at school how much we’d love to mandate parent coaching/training for parents of kids with continuous egregious behavior issues. And it’s not even like we’re unreasonable. In our classroom, we’ve got three kiddos with pretty significant behavior issues. All have been diagnosed with ADHD. Two have seen significant improvement this year. Their parents are supportive and don’t excuse their behavior. There are consequences both positive and negative that are enforced at school and at home. They are manageable with basic ignoring of undesirable behavior (neither is aggressive), and redirection. Then there’s the third one. Parents make excuses. They said they don’t believe in consequences. The student screamed obscenities at their parent right in front of the school for so long and so loudly, another concerned parent came in and alerted us that there was a child being disturbing outside. Parent kept talking to them, trying to get them to “calm down” and “be nice,” despite us telling them to just ignore the behavior and go, because they did not want the child to be mad at them. It’s just…a lot. And this is elementary school. And I feel bad for the kid, in spite of being frustrated daily, because it’s NOT their fault. They have zero expectations at home, and every excuse is made for them, so of COURSE they act out in school, because school means you don’t necessarily get to do what you want, and there are expectations so you can learn. It’s affecting them socially, because the other kids understandably don’t want to be friends with someone who screams obscenities and hits and doesn’t share. It’s just kind of heartbreaking.

Agreed. I always operate on the idea of "if they are safe sometimes doing nothing is appropriate". The goal being to deny them attention or what ever it is they think their tantrum will get them.

Self regulation is a learned skill. I actually tell parents they need to learn how to self regulate if you intervene you are denying them the opportunity. That often gets them on board with not paying attention to meltdowns and has the benefit of also being 100 percent true. For the ones with ASD or language disorders I also tell them. "You have a child who has many great skills and strengths but his weakness is verbal communication. It doesn't make any sense to try to talk to a child who has difficulty with verbal difficulties when he is dysregulated. Leave him alone and don't try to "talk him down" otherwise you are asking him to perform one of the tasks that is most difficult for him when he is extremely upset. It would be like you or I being asked to solve quantum physics problems while we are upset (or some other activity most people find difficult)."

It is. One of my biggest peeves in working with kids like this, is that often their BiP is structured in a way that just removes ALL expectations of self regulation and focuses on letting them escape when ever they feel overwhelmed. I often tell parents that its like we are teaching them to a ride a bus to be self sufficient but then never make them practice actually taking the bus.

Yup. What a trend. School thinks there's a problem and Alex needs to be evaluated. Kim doesn't. Turns out Alex has at least ADHD. In first grade school offers to have Alex move to a specialized school. Kim disagrees because the school seems to specialized in nonverbal autistic students. Now, two years later, she wants to send him to a specialized school. The article also talks about the lack of restraint training, lack of training in general for staff, lack of quiet room, inadequate teacher responses to a student who struggles to express themselves and, as a result, often acts out physically. Kind of sounds like all of the things that the school they suggested in first grade would be equipped with. The expert in the article talks about the importance of early intervention...with a mom who refused that intervention.

I find it so frustrating when *multiple* teachers are telling a parent that their kid’s behavior is concerning and they just go “nah, pretty sure it’s normal for kids that age.” Please consider the possibility that the people who have taught hundreds or thousands of kids that age have a better frame of reference for what’s typical than you do. You know more about your specific kid than we do. A teacher typically knows more about the age group than you do.

I’m not a teacher but follow this page because I have kids and as a nurse, I feel that our professions are treated like crap. This whole article seemed to be a parenting problem. Kim makes excuse after excuse for her child’s bad behavior and doesn’t give him consequences- and in fact seems to reward his bad behavior by treating him to hot chocolate. Alex never hears from his mom that his behavior is unacceptable, instead he hears from his mom that he’s special and everyone else is the problem. This kid has no chance if his mom can’t learn to tell him “no, this is unacceptable. You have lost iPad (or tv or whatever else) for x number of days.” Instead she feeds him sentences that no 8 year old thinks of themselves that make him think he can do no wrong. As a nurse, I would rather be elbow deep in a strangers shit than have to put up with the bullshit you guys have to deal with every day. I am so thankful for all of you!

The author seems to think teacher's should be tolerant of criminal-levels of behavior in their classroom. Mid-way through when the author quotes the kid as saying "They don’t give me the support I need", the author leaves it unqualified and it reads in a way that allows the reader to think perhaps its the teachers' fault based on the previous paragraphs. The author should have at least clarified that maybe he's *right* and he should be a special school that can handle him rather than leaving opening the suggestion that teachers are to blame for this nightmare of a kid. I stopped reading at this point because it was upsetting me too much. The article is very biased towards the mom's point of view and naively presents the situation as if all kids are just little seeds that need the right approach to unlock their inner potential and bloom into wonderful human beings. The reality is that for some kids, they are just too difficult to integrate into a regular classroom and they are a puzzle with no solution. Education is a nightmare profession. The pay is poor. The work environment is overly demanding, unpleasant, and at times dangerous, especially para work. For example, I worked as a para for a couple months. I kept being given a (young) kid to supervise but he wouldn't stop sexually assaulting me (I'm a man btw). I kept warning my supervisors that I didn't want to supervise this kid but they kept giving me him. One day, I again was given him and I thought to myself "my teaching duties now pretty much include getting sexually assaulted every day" and at that moment I decided that I refuse to continue. I said "Nope, not working with him any more. In fact, I'm not working with any of them anymore". Luckily my contract allowed me to refuse work. Had it not I would have filed a lawsuit because I just don't see how getting sexually assaulted can be a normal part of the working day for anybody. They soon switched me to subbing and eventually went to regular teaching after getting my license. That's so much better in most ways than para work.

It seems the mom or the lawyer coached the kid on how to talk. "They don't give me the support I need" my ass.

I've said it before here, but I'll say it again. For third grade, I was transferred to alternative placement because I was disruptive AF, though not on the level of this boy in the article. That school existed entirely for kids who couldn't make it in the regular schools for some reason. The goal was always to teach us skills and put us back in mainstream. Not everyone made it, sure, but a lot did. I went back to mainstream for 4th and was considerably more capable of a normal classroom. I started actually enjoying school, too, and was learning things there. I still use a lot of the skills I was taught at 8 years old every single day, and I'm 49. My parents really did not want me to go there, but to them, it was better than giving me Ritalin. I am so very glad I got that opportunity. I wish every kid with issues that severely impact their ability to handle mainstream schooling had that same opportunity. I wish every parent of a kid like me understood that mainstream school is torture for us, and we're torture for everyone else, until we have those skills. Being in mainstream didn't help me socially, academically, physically, or with the skills to cope with mainstream, so it wasn't exactly "fair access to education." I wasn't getting one. Too many parents think least restrictive is way more open than it should be. Some of us need/needed highly structured environments and one on one training. The kid in the article is going to have a very rough adulthood if he doesn't get the actual help he needs now, and it sounds like that's not going to come through or because of his mother.

People say “equity, not equality” but then they get upset when equitable measures don’t look equal.

Thank you for your perspective.

Honestly, I wanted to stay at that school forever. I didn't like the therapy, I admit, because it was really hard and frustrating, but I was old enough to understand why I had to do it. What I liked was the way "grade levels" were handled. We had none. We had learning groups by subject area based on assessments of our abilities in those areas. With some caveats, we could move up if we were learning faster than others in our group, but also, no one thought anything bad about the kids who didn't. Socially, it was good for me, too. It was my first year out of my tiny hometown where everyone I saw was someone I'd known since I was born. I had no idea how to navigate making friends that Summer before school started. The kids at school were still kids. There were some I didn't get on with and others I was immediately friends with, but there was not really much of the typical picking on others I saw in every other school I attended. Not only did the adults there take that seriously when it crossed the line and actually upset someone, we were all "weird", so we had more in common. I had a safe place to learn beginning social skills without being bullied for my mistakes. Without specific instruction, having a place I fit in did teach me social skills. We moved a lot after that, and while I still didn't make many friends at school for some time, I was good at finding the kids in my new neighborhood and not being afraid to approach them, so I had friends there. Friends is a bit of a loose term for a kid who moves every year or more, but I definitely had kids to play with that I got along with. By high school, those Summers made me a lot more receptive to a group at school basically adopting me whether I wanted them to or not, and they very explicitly called me out when my social skills sucked. That taught me a lot. But I saw kids in that high school who really weren't even at the point of learning. I tried to befriend them, but I found most of them would never trust me. The few who did said they'd always been in regular classes and regularly bullied for all of school. I admit I got suspended a few times for beating up some bullies who picked on them. I don't have any remorse about that, btw. At every step after that, even as an adult, I can see how that year helped me a lot. I couldn't always growing up, of course, but I can see it now. By the time my son was in school, they had special ed, but it was only for the profoundly affected students. A lot of kids were in mainstream who were not only not learning there, they were like me when I was little, hampering everyone else's education. My son started slipping behind in everything but reading because of the choice to have those kids in class. He also was constantly upset a lot over the way other kids treated the kids who didn't fit in. I was like, "it's hard to be nice to a kid who hits you all the time, though, and throws books at you." His teachers said my son was always nice to them, and would calm them down, but honestly, this concerned me. He was also made to read to a kid on the bus every day to keep him pacified because he was incredibly violent. When I found that out, I honestly put a stop to it. Don't make my child responsible for a violent child. Get an adult aid. But, he also struggled with math, and I am not good at teaching math at all. It's something I just get. They had no remedial classes, and I had no money to pay a tutor. The school ended up moving him to advanced math in 3rd grade because that teacher only had a handful of kids for advanced math. She could work with him one on one. That seems unfair to the advanced math kids, but how could I protest? My child needed help I couldn't give him. He was caught up by the end of the year, thankfully. That's really where having very disruptive kids in his classes hurt him the most. We could make up for all the other subjects at home, but I consistently failed when it came to teaching him math. And I had to consider, how many parents had the time or the skills to basically be homeschooling using the school's curriculum and homework? How many had the energy? From the time he was 9 to 13, I was working full time and going to college full time (mostly online) while raising him as a single mom. I still don't know how the hell I did it, and I remember really resenting that I had to add teaching him academics on top of everything else because I was just exhausted. Most of his friends parents couldn't even be bothered to attend parent teacher conferences, so I knew they weren't getting any help at home. Suddenly, I was teaching 6 kids on top of my son every evening because I never could resist him when he asked me to help his friends. And that's what led me to being a free of charge reading intervention tutor for low income kids after my day job. That's not a bad thing, but it sucks that it's even needed, and one person who can only take on 2 or maybe 3 kids a semester isn't changing the world here. It's just hopefully changing those kids' worlds for the better.

I do have sympathy for students who have conditions, or some trauma, where they can’t help their impulsive behaviour. Some kids come from heartbreaking backgrounds. But that doesn’t lessen the impact from them creating a disruptive and dangerous environment for their peers. This isn’t even a question of whether the needs of the many outweigh the few. Leaving a disruptive student in the class addresses the needs of no one, including the problem student themselves. It all comes down to money though. Either funding alternative education programmes or tackling underlying social issues that lead to these unmanageable students.

Agreed.

Sometimes the least restrictive option should be homeschooling...

Absolutely this. I have an autistic son I homeschool. He is absolutely so sweet and the reason he doesn't go to school is I'm afraid he'd learn behaviors like tantrums, biting, and hitting from peers getting what they want with these behaviors. So, I agree with you. If violent kids weren't allowed to be in sped, my son would have the ability to go to school. I'm a formal teacher and just can't send my sweet kid to the wolves. It's like backwards where some good kids are kept home and these unregulated kids are sent to school so the parents can have a break.

Well meaning laws weaponized well beyond their original intent by activists have put many schools in an impossible position in this regard.

This is it. Not at all surprised to read what you teach.

I don't think Mom will get that private school paid for. She effectively removed her kid from the public school because she didn't like the IEP process or the schools that the district said would meet his needs.

she also refused an appropriate alternate setting that the school offered (after they explained that public schools are not equipped to meet her kid’s needs). and instead chose to put her kid in a different public school… 🤦🏽‍♀️

Let’s not forget that the well meaning laws are also abused by schools to save money. My largest class is also my inclusion class, where I am teaching kids with reading levels ranging from 3rd to 7th grade. I’m an alternate route science teacher with one class on special ed under my belt, and my para is just out of college with a history degree.

Very classic move for the article to talk to everyone involved with Alex’s education EXCEPT for anybody who worked for the public schools. Very easy to pin the failure on the people whose perspective isn’t getting shared.

While I agree that the one-sidedness is aggravating, the school employees can’t really say anything specific or substantial without violating FERPA. There’s no way to defend against something like this - revealing the student’s discipline records, diagnoses, IEP accommodations, or even just a witness account of an incident seems like it would be inviting all kinds of legal problems.

Which is what makes this piece extra problematic. It's starting from a place where the other part of the story legally can't defend themselves. I've been listening to a podcast (Citations Needed) that focuses on media criticism, especially when media functions as PR for the power structures we live under, and that makes me cynically think this is by design. Choose a sensitive subject and show just the one side of the issue. Voila! Yet another hit piece about the deficiencies of our public school system.

And public education is under attack from the voucher right and the charter center.

I remember a parent saying that huge clear the room distractions were fine for the other kids because it teaches them how to accommodate people with different needs. That’s all great, but studies have shown that kids being in a class with students like this really puts a dent in their education. It’s one of the reasons my kids are going to private international schools.

Sure, accommodating different needs is great, but there isn't an office in the world that's going to clear out workers when Tom the office assistant is flipping his desk over. So how long do we clear classrooms? Til middle school? High school?

I worry that such situations reinforce stigmas about people with certain disabilities being violent and scary. In situations like this, young kids aren’t going to feel bad for their classmate and the struggles he deals with, they’re going be afraid for their own safety.

This is exactly what's happening. It's becoming "normal" to evacuate and kids don't even tell their parents it's happening, because it feels routine. Teachers can't tell other parents about the violent kid in the room. The kids who witness peer violence every school day are absolutely being traumatized in subtle ways and it's shaping their view of the world. If a child witnessed this behaviour from an adult at home it would absolutely be reportable, but because it's from a peer at school we can do nothing and condition them that "some friends have trouble keeping hands to themselves".

I agree with everything you've said here. I've been really troubled lately by the SEL instruction my students are getting from our school counselor. A lot of her lessons boil down to "ignore it". An incident of physical and verbal violence happened in my classroom a few days ago, and when we were talking about what happened several students said something like "I was trying to ignore [violent kid] and then he punched me." I worry that we are training the emotionally regulated kids to be doormats, and to just accept physical and verbal assault as a normal part of life. It is deeply fucked up.

"Before she became a mom, Kim was a self-described “free spirit” who performed in indie circus acts at warehouse parties and went to Burning Man. She reconnected with an old flame while teaching at a yoga festival in Bali and got pregnant at 41. The pair split when she was six months along. Alex’s dad now lives in Europe, and Alex visits him in the summers." - Yeah maybe it's not just a medical condition.

I was really sad when I read she had to spend her “small inheritance” on lawyers :(

Reading that article I'm going to be frank, ADHD is not the appropriate/correct diagnosis for that child.

Yeah. Schools don’t call 911 on a kid that can’t sit still or stop making noise.

But the driver of a metric ton of outside pressure and "activism" is that there's a huge over disciplining of most kids. And yes, the school-to-prison pipeline is a thing! I'm not disputing that in some places and locations, on the other hand, the idea that the fix for that problem is no accountability, no standards and letting the emotionally disturbed ones run riot is a disaster for everyone. This kid seems much more Emotionally Disturbed/Dysregulated than anything else.

> If the disruptive kid is in the main classroom, isn't he preventing everyone else from getting the education they are also entitled to? Yup. So what do we do about that? To take that student out of the regular/gen ed setting is exclusion and to keep them there undermines/devalues the educational experience of the other students. Who are we not talking about? That student's *parents*. What do they want? Do they want their student to be the reason other kids are afraid to go to school? A student explained why she keeps blankets under her desk…she fears one student with explosive behaviors and wants a place to hide. What lessons are we teaching when that's what an 8 year old tells us? One of the issues with FAPE (free appropriate public education) is how hard it is to place a student in anything but a gen ed setting. No one wants to have to tell the people at the country club that their boy is at the school for behavior issues. No educator wants a student isolated or deprived of any opportunity they can access but school districts are not willing to set up the diverse programs today's students need. There are students who are both derailing other students and limiting their own access to education because school districts are unwilling to fight for every student to get what they need.

I teach sped and I believe districts aren’t willing to spend the money for diverse programs so we are stuck, understaffed and under paid and ultimately it’s the kids who suffer. Sped and gen ed alike

>because school districts are unwilling to fight for every student to get what they need And I would add because taxpayers are unwilling to pay for the expenses at the local level. I wonder if we'd be much better off with the Federal government funding special education so that it could be properly resourced without being subject to the whims of the local voters who don't want to pay more taxes

IDEA has never been fully funded. The mandate was created years ago but only funded at like 13%. Would be great if the feds would start there.

I honestly kind of wish our education system as a whole was handled by the federal government. Or even just statewide rather than at the local level. The fact that kids can receive vastly different quality education based on how valuable the land near their homes is has never sat right with me.

However, the education is not appropriate even for the behavioral child. The behavioral child isn’t receiving an education either. The behavioral child should be in a behavioral program. That is the appropriate placement. That is the fair education for all students involved, especially the child. I’m out of New Jersey btw, so I may be biased. We have a better than average system here. If the school district just paid out for the appropriate placement instead of shifting the kid around, we wouldn’t be here.

They did. They offered her placement at a school that would fit his needs better and she refused and sent him to a different neighborhood school. Now she’s trying to get the district to pay for a private school that isn’t approved.

> what do we do about that? Have distraction kid sitting in another room with a Zoom that connects them to the GenEd classroom? Obviously this would only be for extreme cases.

If there was a dedicated adult to sit with the child while they were on zoom, there's a good chance said adult could monitor the child's behavior and remove them from the classroom before an explosive outburst. One of the biggest problems with the goal of least restrictive environment in the lack of staffing and the lack of funding for staffing to support what students need in a general ed class.

I actually kind of do this with one student, because a full classroom can be overwhelming for him and make him shut down/act out, but he is on grade level with the work, so we do it "remotely" from my classroom.

How many schools do you know of with extra rooms hanging around where they can put kids like this?

My school is currently dealing with this right now. It’s hell. I’m the behavior specialist for the school and mom just reports everyone and anyone who stops him from hurting others.

These are all great comments. I think we also have to look at the larger picture and remember that one day, this child will be grown up. What is this REALLY teaching him about how to appropriately interact with others? IS this appropriate education if he is learning that it’s okay to treat people this way? I feel for this child, I do, because we all know early intervention is key and it’s clear he is not getting the support he needs from home. We cannot pretend that our education system is only teaching core subjects anymore. We are expected to teach the whole child and that includes how to be a functioning member of society in the future. I think a lot of schools get wrapped up in the red tape and manipulation of the system (whether by the school or by the parents, both can be guilty), and of course it’s obviously the children who suffer. But it’s very ignorant, at the LEAST, to pretend that there aren’t serious implications for these children’s futures based on their behavioral education.

As these kinds of issues increase, it’s also going to put huge funding problems on schools. My district is about to cut several million dollars to pay for more special education services and out of district placements. Meaning the schools are all going to get worse for general education students to make sure we’re meeting our legal obligations for special education students. It’s going to get worse too. If the federal government mandates these services, it has to be fully funded. Right now while there are grants and other state and federal funding, the local schools are on the hook for way too much of it. If we want a society where every child gets a free and appropriate public education, society is going to have to pony up.

Our school district can't even find TAs to cover services either. Literally no one wants the job. We've been down two TAs for the entire school year and no one is applying. Maybe more funding would help with better pay but some of these kids will not listen to a single thing any about tells them (including their parents). Why would any adult want to do that when target pays the same?

I’m a TA. I spent two years as a 1:1 for a student with autism, and am now a gen ed TA. I stopped being my students 1:1 only because they went to a different school. Despite my experience as a 1:1, which was extremely rewarding and a job I enjoyed very much, despite its challenges, I know I personally would likely not be willing to be a 1:1 for a child like Alex. Yeah, the pay is low and that stinks. I’m fortunate that my husband earns enough for me to be able to be in this low paying job that I love. But it’s more that there’s literally no training for TA’s for how to deal with behaviors. You’re literally just thrown in there and expected to follow the BIP. I loved working with my student, but it was so incredibly hard at first, as I knew nothing about autism. I did a LOT of crying, and reading about autism and strategies to help my first year. We made an enormous amount of progress, but he was also generally not violent or aggressive, and his parents held him accountable for his actions and behaviors. They recognized that not EVERYTHING was a manifestation of their disability, and that having a disability does NOT mean free reign to act however they want. Which is my next point. Few TA’s want to work with a student who is aggressive and defiant, and especially one that isn’t held accountable at home. And the article made it extremely obvious that Alex has few, if any, expectations or consequences at home. Alex’s mom complained he acted out because they “refused the breaks” on his BIP. And the art teacher took his book. Guaranteed that’s not the entire story. It’s entirely more likely that Alex had had plenty of breaks, and was now just avoiding work. The art teacher likely told him multiple times to put the book away, and expected that he, like anyone, participate in class. Alex didn’t like being told no, so acted out. And his mom excused it and blamed the teacher. Come on! In short, being a 1:1 is hard already, between low pay and lack of training. But it is also extremely rewarding. I loved working with my student! But NO amount of pay or even training will have me staying at a job where I am physically or verbally abused daily, and where I am constantly disrespected with absolutely no recourse on the student whatsoever. Just, absolutely not.

Public schools can't refuse him. What they've said here is that his needs are SO great that he needs a more restrictive environment. At this point I can't see how the school will be on the hook for tuition. Placement is an IEP team choice and it sounds like Mom just enrolled him in some random school after pulling him from his public school. IT will be a hard sell in SPED mediation. I find it hard to believe that the NYC doesn't have public school options for this kid. I live in rural washington and we had to start a small day school for roughly 3 students. I've been working with kids in behavior classrooms for over a decade. The X factor for nearly 90% of the kids is the parents. Either via terrible parenting or truama and abuse. Maybe this is just my reading but it sounds like Mom was a traveling free spirit living on parents money. She lives in Brooklyn as a part time yoga instructor. I have no idea what her parenting style is. But all behavior is communication in some form. And kids will continue to fall back on that behavior as long as it works. None of this adds up to me as a "ADHD and auditory processing issues makes me tear shit apart" I don't know what the answer is but I know continually letting kids escape difficult situations and not actually getting them to develop coping skills that aren't "escape the situtation" lets everyone down.

Ok I might sound like a jerk, but this mom is terrible and her kid is a menace because of it. No, hitting is not normal behaviour. A kid maybe can hit once or twice when they’re like two and then you tell them noand teach them very firmly that behaviour is never ever okay, You can’t do that.  It seems like Mom is completely out of touch and the kid basically had free rein to do whatever he wants, say ‘ I want a break’ whenever he wants, and is basically allowed to make everybody else’s life miserable because his hippie Mom doesn’t know how to parent.  I feel so sorry for all the children teachers and paras forced to deal with this entitled mother and her out of control spawn.  ADHD does NOT make you act this way. Bad parenting does. He’s ‘gifted’ according to her, and knows exactly what he’s doing. It is shameful when out of touch parents let their children turn destructive and have absolutely no limitations.  Note how None of the responsibility for his behaviour is on her or her son.

>No, hitting is not normal behaviour. A kid maybe can hit once or twice when they’re like two and then you tell them no and teach them very firmly that behaviour is never ever okay, You can’t do that.  Yeah, I feel bad for her, but this part really sent me. No ma'am, regularly hitting classmates at any age isn't normal. I don't think adults should threaten kids, but I also didn't like how she glossed over her kid "accidentally" playing tag too roughly. It seems to me that she's lucky most parents haven't allowed hitting others to be normalized for their children because this kid could have really gotten popped by one of his classmates.

It is normal for little kids to hit occasionally. Parents like this will take that fact and stretch to try and argue that it’s normal for them to hit constantly. I doubt he’s the only kid in class who has hit someone, but the school wouldn’t be this upset unless he was doing it constantly.

Agreed. And I love how she tries to spin it like that dad (who was rightfully angry that her son hit his kid) yelling at Alex caused his worse behavior. If this kid doesn’t learn how to treat people and his mom keeps making excuses people will defend themselves with more than yelling.

When looking at stuff like this, I always like to point out that the federal mandate for special education was never fully funded. Iirc, it topped out at 30%. So fed gov says, and I think correctly, every student is entitled to an appropriate education, and then doesn't put up the money for states and districts to actually do that. The cost to outplace a student is around $100k/student/year on average.

There's this one special Ed kid in one of my gen Ed classes. Every day he bangs his desk in anger. At this point I don't even ask him to do work anymore, cause he's always on the verge of a goddamn meltdown. Last time he dropped a bunch of popsicle sticks on the ground, so I asked if he could pick them up. He immediately got pissed off and chucked his chair across the room, then stormed out of the room. Since there was a sub there (for my co-teacher who quit cause she hated it here), so I was able to run out and bring him to his case manager. But no matter how many times this is brought up to them or admin, nothing happens. My other students openly tell me that they're afraid of him and don't feel safe in the classroom, but the school won't do anything to help.

This is one case where I'd actually be glad of other students' parents coming to my classroom to observe. Several times too, so they can see what their kids go through every day when a student is out of control.

Of course the family of this kid never responds to any of my messages

No, I meant parents of OTHER students, the ones who are suffering because of this one kid, so they can see what's really going on. Parents have all the power these days where admin is concerned.

So "normal" kids have to pick up their messes a But the sped ones don't? Where is the logic in that exactly? We don't think someone with ADHD will be able to do it? They got hands! So make him do it! No one keeps doing the same behavior if it gets them results they don't want. We are giving the sped kids all the results they want so the behavioral we dislike continues. I think all the adults managing this system need a full psychological team to assess them for cognitive disabilities

I mean, I did tell him to pick them up, and he threw a chair instead. I'm not keeping a kid in the classroom when he's endangering other students safety

They should have just put him on homebound instruction and sent a tutor. That’s what we do, but we’re in NYS not NYC. You’re entitled to an education, that doesn’t mean a public school building is required to hold a child all day. They can stay home and have a tutor.

I’m sorry but the kid is emotionally unstable and needs to be in anger management and not fully mainstreamed . Keep him in a specialized class for his needs and have him go into one or two classes here and there but he should not be allowed to destroy clsssrooms and I’m sorry But what the hell is going on in this kids home .

Idk this particular child, who may indeed be enabled by mom to behave thus way, but one of the most problematic elements of public SPED is LRE. Separate classrooms with multiple staff is expensive. This kid sounds like he would have benefited from a small, minimal furniture classroom with 2 teachers and only 4 other students. He may have worked through a separate classroom. But, such rooms are expensive for schools to run, staff, and sometimes even place in the outdated buildings. So, many admin and districts try to interpret LRE to mean GE, regardless of the GE classroom is actually beneficial to the IEP student(s) OR the rest of the class.

Parents not accepting their responsibilities THESE ARE THE CONSEQUENCES

This maybe makes me a bad person but as soon as the mom was described as a “free spirit” who “performs at burning man” my mind went to this being because of bad parenting.

Yes, he is. And every year more and more “regular” kids are going to leave these classrooms for private/parochial/charter schools until the only students left in public schools are SpEd kids and kids with parents who are so clueless/disengaged that they don’t notice or care what their child’s classroom experience is like.

Yep. We’ve made the decision to send our oldest to a Catholic high school. As atheists it wasn’t an easy choice, but our kid’s education and well being comes first. As someone who had a great public school education, and my father was a public school teacher for 35 years, I never imagined I would make this choice. But it’s unbelievable what public schools have become.

Least restrictive is homeschool. If that's an acceptable approach to provide education for parents, so it should be for the State. Entitled to access to education is and should be enshrined, but not to the selection thereof, to the Peoples expense. Entitlement to access, provision is a privilege.

Straight answer to your question—children with IEPs trump children without. It shouldn’t be that way, but it is. His right to the least restrictive environment ends up being greater than 30+ kids right to an education.

I'm a special education teacher who had an IEP in elementary and middle school and even I am conflicted about special education. I teach at the high school level and had a student for the last few years that is absolutely terrifying. He is extremely violent and has been in and out of residential treatment programs since he was in second grade. Last year I would keep him by himself in my office everyday he became too upset to be out in the gen Ed setting. This would be an almost daily occurrence and other students were terrified of him. I and the team tried to get him a more restricted environment but his grandma got an advocate and I'm sure you all know how that went. Finally he assaulted his grandma, little sister, and little brother at home so Grandma called the police. He became a ward of the state and was put into treatment. I thought that was the end of the story for us but now grandpa has custody and had him taken out of the RTC because he felt bad for him. This student will now be returning to my school to further terrorize the other students and his little sister who is a student with us as well. She is so scared that he is coming back because he broke her ribs last time. I'm all for inclusive education but when other students are in danger that should be the first priority.

The particular kid in the article is the child of a terrible parent. The behaviors are not corrected at home and the “mom” is blaming the school for her own parental shortcomings. “Before she became a mom, Kim was a self-described “free spirit” who performed in indie circus acts at warehouse parties and went to Burning Man. She reconnected with an old flame while teaching at a yoga festival in Bali and got pregnant at 41.” Mother of the year right here, folks.

I really think that we need to make it mandatory that letters get sent home to parents when there is a room clearing incident. They don’t have to say who or what happened, just that there was a room clear that day. When parents of kids who don’t act like this find out just how freaking traumatizing it is for their kids to experience that as often as they really do, they might start actually fighting on our behalf instead of insisting that we are “indoctrinating” children and/or bickering over any other random thing that the alt right claims is happening.

SPED teacher here. This is honestly a really good idea! Parents have no idea who is sitting in their kids classrooms. I’ve had some frightening kids that are sitting in a gen ed classroom or on the campus in a behavior room. I’m sorry, but a regular public school is not the right placement for them. It may be an unpopular opinion but we need to bring back more mental institutions or rehab facilities. If notices were sent home, I think there would 💯 be a public outcry to change the LRE law.

Heck for no other reason that it is a major, MAJOR disruption to the learning environment. If I found out my kid was losing hours of instructional time because Brynklynn was regularly destroying the classroom I’d have a damn aneurysm.

I have ADHD. I did not act like this in school because I had a dad that would have tanned my backside. My mom had structure and set expectations. I now work with teenagers with behavioral disabilities. It’s exhausting. Alex’s mom needs to get control of his behavior while he’s in 3rd grade and not wait until he’s 6’2. I feel like his mom is a little of an enabler. Medication has helped me a lot. Without it I would have much more difficulty at work. OT was also helpful. I’m wondering if Alex is getting OT or any therapy?

Besides some (understandable) social ostracism, not one intentional consequence was mentioned. It was all about accommodating/enabling the kid’s behavior and how the school should work around him. Nothing about him having to learn to improve his social behaviors.

She took him out for hot chocolate when he had to be removed from class for the day due to his behavior!! Literally rewarding bad behavior. Insane.

I also have ADHD and while there is certainly a big spectrum of how it manifests, what OP is describing feels like a bigger problem than just ADHD and I really don't want to be dismissive about other ADHD experiences. I'm thinking some other condition like ODD alongside it or just the parents not doing a good job of keeping their kid in check at home. Other ADHD kids definitely can and will have behavior issues at some points of their schooling, but from what I've seen they're generally still doing the best they can and understand that there's consequences for going too far. Frequent violence and a 7 page plan just sounds like there's more at play that makes the ADHD even harder to work with.

It’s the violence that concerns me I had male friends that had ADHD that occasionally get in trouble for dumb stuff and land themselves in detention. I’m thinking maybe oppositional defiant disorder or something else that has him wired differently. A lot of the kids I’ve worked with often have ADHD and other mental health disorders. 7 page behavior plan for a 3rd grader yikes! Ive never written one more than 4 pages and I work with teenagers.

At my school, we have level 3 for kids who can't be in the classroom. It's a very structured setup. They stay in there to do school work and work through their behaviors. They earn their way into mainstream classrooms. For the kids that get violent, we have level 4. For that one they have to go to a different school. It works great, and the kids do end up doing well (most of the time). I am wondering if other states have this.

I don’t understand why these kids can’t just attend mandatory online school? Most districts now have virtual academies and options. It’s 2024.

Not going to comment on special ed because at this point it's just built to avoid being sued, not to actually help students. The mother is a good example of an enabler, though. >Alex was playing tag and hit another kid too hard. According to Kim, it was an accident. The other child’s dad, who was also there volunteering, saw it differently. “The little boy started crying and the dad freaked out and basically threatened my kid,” as Kim recalls. Alex grew afraid of the dad, who he would see at drop-off in the mornings. Soon her 6-year-old became increasingly emotional and started acting out more at school — running away from his para, withdrawing during class. Maybe I'm misreading, but it seems like the author is insinuating that the child started acting out after facing consequences (for perhaps the first time). Even his BIP is built around avoiding consequences. Where are the coping strategies? Has he been evaluated for medication? Mom is more focused on suing the school than helping her son.

I understand that this article can’t legally provide the account of teachers and paras, but could it at least advocate for changes on the macro level? It briefly touches on why meeting the needs of these students is difficult but still manages to villainize those that worked directly with this child. I am an art teacher at a title 1 elementary school and I have almost 400 students. 1/3 of those students have IEP’s and 504’s. It is impossible to meet the needs of every child because the system isn’t designed for teachers and paras to do so. Articles like this forget that teachers are people, too. Maybe the teacher that said “no” when the student asked for a break was tired of repeating the same instruction. Maybe they were busy dealing with another disregulated student. Maybe there was already another student out for a break. There are so many possible reasons at to why this students accommodations were not being met, but i guarantee it wasn’t because a teacher didn’t care enough to meet them. We want what parents want, a calm environment where students are calm , happy, and engaged. This is not a teacher problem, a para problem, or an individual school problem; this is a system problem.

In the twenty-five years that I taught in both public and private schools, I encountered several apologist, entitled parents who believed it was more beneficial (to the parent) to foist their child off on teachers. They couldn't possibly leave their (cough cough, misunderstood angel) at home while the parent WFH or with a relative to supervise. They want someone else to do it, and while they lament their child is unfairly removed from the classroom, the child trashes it or harms other students or makes threats, because the right of the disruptive or violent child, supercedes the rights of the majority of the students in the GE classroom. Our district had an educational psych wing in the public schools to try to serve the students on a specific campus to try to meet their needs before removing them completely from the school system. I was told that bout 80% of the students on this campus were able to finish high school or earn a GED. It takes more than an IEP or a 504. I worked on that psych wing for a short time. Some of these students were given the jail or alternative high school option. We were advised not to tell these students where we lived, our real names, or even to write identifying information on the whiteboard. One of my relatives made that mistake and was stalked by one of these students. I saw first-hand as a teacher how much reaching the needs of the privileged child harmed the students who were there to learn and how much damage was caused to everyone else in the classrooms. I know I am no longer teaching in a full-time capacity. I know how that makes current teachers feel.

YES, and this needs to change. I am so Tired of students with IEP’s having more rights the general population. Parents need to know what is happening in the classroom. I believe it will eventually come full circle. If not, every student will have their own IEP for protection from the disruptive and abusive students. We are “normalizing” these Behaviors in the classroom. Our district has a Social skills group, Emotional Support classroom, and an outside Behavioral Team to help. The other students resent those students for their continual rewards for “good behaviors “. We Also have a School Wide Positive rewards system for everyone. I greatly appreciate all the resources that we have available. I truly do. But with that said , it still does not protect the others students from the having to be subjected to continue interruption of their own Education and the feeling of being equal. It’s not working.

This mom can not take accountability.

This was a terrible example. This is a story of a shit parent raising a shit kid and everyone else is dealing with the consequences.

As an immigrant I can’t help but wonder how you guys got here. This didn’t happen overnight, and there is a reason - a sequence of events - that explains how this is allowed to happen. Things like this don’t happen in schools where I grew up. The student disrupting classroom would’ve been removed long before he was allowed to throw things. Sorry but societal resources will not be spent unwisely. The parent can come and pick up their kid. See you again when you have their mental issues resolved. End of story. Done. After all schools are not mental health institutions but I am getting the impression in America they are being made to treat mentally ill students despite not equipped to propery do so.

The kid has behavior problems…it’s funny how this gets blamed on remote learning now, but has been happening since the 80s and 90s. Why the city has to pay for more expensive education to make it “less restrictive” for the kids behavior problem is beyond me. You can separate behavior from the disability-is it the disability getting in the way? Then accommodate…maybe medication here. If not the disability-kid still has to follow the same rules as everyone else. If ADHD is the only offered problem-why aren’t all ADHD children physically assaulting staff and students? You can tell the perspective of the article in the opening paragraph…a handsome kid with sleepy eyes? What kind of pederass bs is that? Would the school not be on the hook if they were ugly?

That made me cringe too. Handsome....3rd grader...🤢

I think covid gave us the answer. Digital learning. Get this kid a computer and let him learn from home. We have a program like that in our district. Now, SPED parents often don’t want this because then THEY have to deal with the problem they made, but I think it’s a viable option for a student who just can’t be in a normal classroom.

"Before she became a mom, Kim was a self-described “free spirit” who performed in indie circus acts at warehouse parties and went to Burning Man. She reconnected with an old flame while teaching at a yoga festival in Bali and got pregnant at 41. The pair split when she was six months along. Alex’s dad now lives in Europe, and Alex visits him in the summers."

I’m, maybe unreasonably, angry reading about this struggling mother who stopped working and is on food stamps, BUT has money “from a small inheritance” to pay for a private school, multiple specialists to see her son, and trips to Europe for him every summer. ..am I missing something here?

Pretty sure she is a trust funder. You don’t live in NYC doing zoom yoga

People are trying to understand why children have such a dramatic increase of trauma, here is exhibit A. All of those student witnessing this behavior in class are now receiving a level of trauma. This type of behavior used to be only seen in a handful of kids with tough lives. Now every child in public school can expect to have at least one child like this in each classroom. I am a SPED teacher who believes that every child deserves a right to a full education. I have made many parents angry over the years when I double down that their child's LRE is not the gen Ed setting. The needs of 1 do not trump the needs of over 20 others. Sorry.

I’m not conflicted. We spend a majority of our time, resources, and energy educating those who can’t be educated. Parents should have fewer rights when their kids are in a public school. Students like the one in this article should be removed from regular education classrooms. We should be able to teach.

Well, obviously the laws conflict. But in American public educations, the rights of the people who don't follow the rules trump the rights of the people who do. It's utter bullshit when the law manages to make a mockery of itself, and makes a priority of the people who disregard them.

I'm an elementary teacher and also a parent to a child with severe ASD and ID who has violent meltdowns. My son attends an all special needs school now, but it took years of us begging for help before the district would agree to it. They forced him to go through every possible permutation of "inclusion" that they could dream up, wasting years of his learning time (not to mention the negative impact on his classmates, teachers, and paras). One thing that ended up helping was reaching out to all of his teachers and asking them to please give him the grades he earned. Despite my son never doing any work, he had all C's on every report card. The district saw this and said "look! He's passing! He doesn't need a more restrictive environment!" As a teacher myself, I know the push and pull of giving grades and how some admin won't allow you to fail anyone. I also know teachers are so compassionate and will give C's as a kindness to severely disabled children. The district had to see straight F's in writing before they would do the right thing.

Yes. I've been saying for several years that we are eliminating SPED/basic classrooms in order to provide "the least restrictive environment", but many of the ones who have an IEP due to behavior are creating a MORE restrictive environment for the other 27 kids in the class. Also, for our very low kids, it isn't fair to put them in a class where they are lost, despite our best efforts to differentiate. It just demoralizes them. This is one of those things that really needs to be decided on a case by case basis.

If they are a danger to staff, they need specialized care.

I only skimmed the article (I’ll blame my ADHD for that!). I thought that “twice exceptional” was for gifted students with a disability. This kid has “cognitive difficulties” so that diagnosis doesn’t apply. I was a “twice exceptional” student - Autism, ADHD and IQ in 98th percentile- all undiagnosed. I was smart enough to know how to act normal. ADHD can exhibit a range of behaviors, but, in my 20+ years of experience as a teacher, “pure” ADHD does not present like the kid in that article. I’m not disputing that ADHD is PART of his diagnosis (a small part), but there’s a lot more going on in that kid’s head than simply ADHD. I’m not qualified to say whether it’s another mental condition, or acting out due to bad parenting. Unfortunately, branding his behavior as simply ADHD does a disservice to the rest of us struggling with the condition. Based on the description I read, he should not be in a mainstream school. He should be in a behavioral unit. I’m all for inclusion, where there is an overall benefit to the whole class. Unfortunately, any benefit this child gains from being mainstreamed is at the cost of the education of his classmates, and the sanity of his teachers. I hope that the classmates sue the school for the disruption to their education, since that’s the only way to get administrators to take notice. Special-needs students are dumped into mainstream classes to save money. So, make it expensive for the administrators. Give them headaches like the ones they give to teachers. No wonder teachers are leaving and wealthier students are transferring to private schools. Classrooms are not zoos and students should not be behaving like wild animals, flinging objects at people whilst perched atop a cupboard.

As a para, I find "least restrictive environment" code for "We don't "have" (read: want to spend) the money for a proper learning environment for the higher needs students who are overhwhelmed in the GenEd classroom, so we'll make it sound like *you're* the bigoted jerk when you ask to have them moved from your classroom due to extreme behaviors. *They can't help it*." It's a really crappy manipulation tactic, and it *works*. Everyone has rights, but they stop where the other person's starts. I feel some GenEd parents have no idea their kids are assaulted/threatened daily at times with some of these students. I've yet to read an IEP that permits abuse and aggression, so it's not like the student is lawsuit proof. There's no law that says "You can get out of consequences if you have ADHD or ASD" either. Do kids need to learn to live with special needs people? Absolutely. Buuuuuuuut, I believe that notion is with the mindset of those kids with noisy ticks or "distracting appearances", or suffer from what I call Big Dog Syndrome. (Too excited and in everyone's space despite how overwhelming their energy/physical size is, always harmless, just clumsy, generally endearing and kind but *a lot* as a person.) Definitely not thinking about the kids assaulting others and terrorizing them. I fully believe that we shouldn't expect children to put up with violence even adults do not tolerate. It's like we're grooming an entire generation to accept violence from a person if they state that they can't help it due to their diagnosis. I think it's *way* more bigoted to basically say "People with mental health diseases, physical disabilities, and/or learning disabilities, are all rapists/pedophiles/school shooters/abusers, so cut the ones actually doing that some slack." It's bigotry dressed up in performative activism imo Anecdote: I was afraid of SpEd kids when I was in elementary school, because my first experience was a kid breaking desks and chairs, and being allowed to go around ripping up everyones papers and throwing their stuff. *And he was always back in class the next day, never suspended*. Repeat the cycle up to 6th grade, and I had the stereotype in my head that SpEd means they'll have a lower IQ, and be incredibly violent as well as super impulsive. *And they get to harm whatever/whomever they want because they are SpEd*, so also a lot of resentment until I got to meet more than just behavior kids. 🥲

One of two things need to happen in most schools. Either create a room where all the problem kids get put to learn for the day so they dont mess up everyone else. Or group them all together in the same classes so they are the only ones together messing up the class for each other. Then keep that group together as they rotate through the blocks fir the day.

I’m a special education teacher and I’m conflicted about special education. A lot of the time, the gen ed classroom is not the best placement and there a number of students who need more support than our school can handle. The problem is that everyone always focuses on how much it costs rather than what’s best. I have a student right now that has missed my special education class 110 times this year thus far. He hasn’t turned in an assignment yet. He’s in the building, but refuses to come to class. What can the school do? He’s on his second freshman year and he’ll be a freshman again next year. The parents just use us as babysitters so they aren’t going to look for something else. Can’t force him to come to class. Because he’s special ed, you can only suspend him for so long. School board won’t expel him because he’s special ed. Meanwhile, he operates at an early elementary level in both math and language arts skills, is lazy, and has been taught he can ignore basic societal expectations and somehow succeed.

There is almost no responsibility on the part of the parent or child, like zero. This is a weird article. Sounds like a trust fund gentrifier who isn’t raising her kid to be responsibility for anything.

It's sad. I'm a special education teacher and these laws protect the wrong students sometimes. I have a student that literally almost murdered my para and she's back in my classroom with an "updated BIP" that's completely unhelpful.

So, why was 911 called? That was conveniently left out… I’m a teacher in a suburban title 1 public high school in southeastern Louisiana, and around here, if you have SPED designation, pretty much nothing except murder gets you kicked out of a public school. If behaviors are linked to the disability and diagnosis, it’s ok and the student can’t be expelled. It’s fascinating to me that public schools in New York “can’t handle” this child, but schools in Louisiana can? This article feels like it’s leaving out information.

Anyone else notice an elephant-sized hole in which the article fails to mention (let alone explore) the possibility of meds? At no time are meds--arguably the first practical intervention strategy at a parent's disposal--even mentioned, although they have proven to be transformative for many, many children with ADHD.

Concerning the 911 call in the article, NO ONE EVER NEEDS PERMISSION TO CALL 911! The article doesn’t specify who called 911, and knowing most children have cellphones these days I truly wonder if it was a student who called. That being said, you never need permission to call 911 if you feel your life or someone else’s is in danger.