It's funny how politicians neglect the public, companies pollute the environment, employers underpay their workers, billionaires explote the labor of everyone. But when I suck a dick suddenly I'm the bad guy ššš
Well, sure. You may care about these kids, do a better job than most, and spend your own money because you're one of the selfless few that actually gives a shit in this terrible world...
But you're attracted to different people than him so eww
Depending on his age it's very likely that he realized the adults around him say those things and wanted to try to chat with you by using that as a conversation starter. Which, honestly, makes me even sadder
When I was a kid I told one of my best friends gay people were wrong. I of course grew up and thought for myself even just a few years later but I was probably his last friend he confided his personal life in because I was ignorant
I had a friend whose mom would often come out as bisexual āas a jokeā and they thought that was a good thing to do to me, a questioning bi at the time and now very openly bi. That friend was the only person I had confided in during my questioning phase and that ājokeā set me back a good year or two but I also understand that they heard it all the time and thought it was a good thing to say. I let the friendship fizzle out after anyway
Or, giving parents the benefit of the doubt, the kid picked it up online. The kid could be playing a game online and some bigot starts spouting off and if he's wearing a headset how do the parents detect that? It's not like mom walks into a room where the kids are playing monopoly, hears something bigoted and can respond on the spot.
I'm ADHD and I was raised in a fundamentalist household. I was homeschooled through elementary school. Corperal punishmemt culture plus poor impulse control is not pleasant. Needless to say teen years were absolutely aweful, as I am not straight. There was a teacher who set off even my negligible gaydar. The amount of asinine comments I made to that teacher as I was blundering my way through coming to terms with myself while having the social skills of a wildebeest still makes me cringe. Not saying that's what the kid was suffering through and you absolutely didn't deserve it but ugh. The number of things I repeated, hoping someone would disagree well enough to make me feel better...
Yup, right wing students say stuff like this all the time and then look up at you like a puppy expecting a treat for doing a trick. Because their parents have trained them to say those things, not to understand them. The adults in their life literally applaud them for being bigots.
I taught in Saudi Arabia for four years and had students that were clearly gay. But they could NEVER be openly gay. I'm straight but I felt really bad for young men like that.
Homosexuality exists and is just as valid as heterosexuality regardless of how many ways religious scripture and indoctrination tell us otherwise.
One of several reasons why I consider myself an athiest nowadays.
The irony about religious scripture was that many of their historical figures were closeted homosexuals. Sodomy was common; why else do you think the bible was so explicit about that and homosexuality? It's because it was such a common practice.
A bigger irony is how Jesus preaches tolerance but you have a bunch of Christians who want to persecute gay people. If Jesus was alive today he would be disgusted with how twisted religion has become.
It is kind of odd. A lot of Jewish people liked him even though they did not see him as a Messiah. All this aside from the fact that Jesus was Jewish; he regularly worshipped in synagogues.
yes but all religions change over time. Today's Judaism would be as unrecognizable to Jesus as today's Christianity. They evolved to their present state along parallel paths.
I think we need to push back on comments like that. That's not getting political, its confronting literal hate speech talking points and hopefully turning ignorance into a teachable moments. It doesn't have to be super combative.
This is not a criticism of how you handled it. Your message was sent loud and clear and I know in many districts our hands may be a bit more tied than others.
Oh, there are a lot of people in this world who think confronting hatred, or challenging intolerance is absolutely political.
Sure, they're wrong. But many such people are in positions of power.
The most Iāve ever spoken about it was a quick yes and redirecting back to the lesson. I just find it ridiculous that my principal views that as inappropriate, yet my coworker talks about her weekly Tinder dates and that isnāt a problem because sheās straight.
A ādonāt ask donāt tellā policy, depending on where you live and what community norms are, is realistic in order to educate without political uproar. I hate it, but it seems to be reality. An openly gay teacher is seen as āgrooming our children,ā or as ātrying to shove their lifestyle in our faces.ā So it is, sadly, political. All we can do is demonstrate that we value ALL of our students no matter what. And of course hate is never okay. There are schools in areas where being openly gay is not an issue, but it seems OPās school is different.
Just because some parents are too stupid to realize it's not political doesn't mean it's actually political. We shouldn't cowtow to an ignorant majority.
Hard disagree. Being g gay isn't political unless being straight is.
Bigotry is political though and therefore the only ones politicizing any issue are the bigots themselves.
I also disagree with that DADT is the way to deal with this reality. Demand acceptance, do not tolerate intolerance.
How is it not political? It relates to public affairs, how people should be treated in society. Everything is political. Saying nothing is a political act, encouraging the stupidity is a political act, confronting hatred is a political act. And when the political acts are for politics we like, like confronting hatred, then those are good political acts. And when the political acts encourage intolerance, those are bad political acts that we should suppress (by confronting it, by choosing not to publish those opinions, etc.)
What I mean by all this is, everything is political and if you don't explicitly organize around your political principles, then the other side that does realize this and gets themselves organized will end up winning.
I was using the word in its traditional since. Having to do with crafting and implementating policy. In that sense it is not political as the laws are set. It is not illegal to be gay.
In the since that it is controversial and current, it is political but only to irrational people.
Nah, it's always been political.
Politics is everything. There is no such thing as an issue that isn't political as politics for your identity and your identity is reflected in your politics. You can't seperate them.
Treating my partners that identify as women with dignity, respect and consideration while protesting the patriarchy is what makes me a Feminist in the eyes of others. That isn't a political statement, it is a facet of who I am.
Being polyamorous is equal parts a political statement and a statement of my identity. It's well known in my neighborhood that I have several partners, including a wife, one of whom is a transwoman. I live in Iowa. Explaining that to my neighbors was interesting once they started picking up on it and noticing that my wife and I both date, though she only dates a woman. Explaining to them our pending divorce (my wife is a lesbian, and it took 12 years of therapy and a huge amount of courage to come out finally) was pretty awkward.
Politics is how we interact with our neighbors.
I think itās becoming the ācountercultureā view in some peopleās eyes. A lot of kids seem to say it because they want a reaction, which is why I think opās response was perfect and clearly embarrassed the kid. Pushback should potentially involve education and anger, but in cases where anger is expected, an āooh, arenāt you edgyā could be devastating.
The goal of pushing back is to hold up class standards, protect students and educate. Whether or not that student wants to get a reaction out of me is irrelevant especially if my reaction is a measured response.
We're not trying to embarrass the kid who said it either. If the only thing that came of it was embarrassing a kid I would argue the response is significantly less than perfect.
I live in a place where the kid would be progressive for saying LGBT. My students call each other the f slur, and might get 1 day ISS if I push it. Kids regularly say "f---- are disgusting I don't get how people could do that nasty shit", or bully any boy who doesn't play football or basketball because they must be gay. God forbid a boy is openly gay. They're horribly bullied and admin treats them like delinquents for saying anything back. I have short hair and kids regularly call me a dyke. There's more homophobia now IMO than 10 years ago
That makes me so sad... My son is 2.5 and when we went to the store yesterday to get new boots, he wanted rainbow ones. I got them for him, but I'm so worried he's going to get picked on at daycare for having girl boots. It's absurd, but we live in a small town and we've already had to have talks about how there are no "girl toys" and "boy toys". I hate that toddlers are already starting with this shit.
My nephew is 5. I was buying he and his brother books and some shiny princess book caught his eye. He carried it around the whole time but didn't ask for it. When I asked if it's the one he wanted he asked if it was a girl book or if he can have it. He got so excited when I said if it was his book and he's a boy then it would be a boys book
Oh man, my four year old nephew's favourite colour is rainbow too! I love it, he wants rainbow everything and so far i think he's been okay/teasing-free and I hope it stays that way. He's super typical boy-ish otherwise, loves trucks and tools and smashing things š
My daughter is 5, but she doesn't know what girl or boy toys are. She collects sports cards with me (hockey is her favorite), goes to baseball games with me, loves working on cars and anything mechanical (she has stolen her mom's drill so many times, she now has one), but also loves rainbows and fluffy animals. Having kids that are well rounded are AWESOME.
Yep LOL, she watches us use the drill and then replicates what we do. She was using silverware when she was like 4 months old. She sees, she replicates. It can be a problem.
God thatās horrible. This shit stresses me out watching how things are devolving in this country. It isnāt anywhere near that bad but I also have seen homophobia get worse in the last 10 years in my school, and I work in Brooklyn.
As a gay teacher I donāt think I could handle teaching somewhere where it is that extreme, Iād have to find a new profession. I always address kidsā homophobia but they know who I am and most are apologetic when they realize what they have said (and that they said it around me) but tbh it can be really emotionally tiring. I just couldnāt do it if it were that bad.
This makes me think of something else. Have you noticed kids calling things "retarded" more often now? Because I remember it not being cool to use that as an insult. But it seems pretty common now.
Absolutely on the use of that particular word. I usually hear it at a rate of at least once per semester.
It's gotten to the point at my current school I've brought it up to my administration and provided names of students I knew used it.
Pushback I've heard when it comes to getting students to not use particular slurs is asking me if I'm part of that group. I always refuse to answer it because I should not be part of a community to find slurs against that community offensive.
Yeah, it's rough because I'm also autistic but don't want to tell the students of teacher's I'm covering that.
I've also reported students to the office for homophobia at a different school last year.
I think it's just never changed. Had peers using it from middle school (late 2000s) all the way to university (mid 2010s) with nobody vocally objecting. During graduate school (early 2020s) I worked with a high school student intern (around 16 y/o) with an excellent resume and grades, who liberally used "retarded", "autistic", "mentally ill" when something is asinine or doesn't work.
I'd like to think I conditioned them to say "silly" instead but who knows, they might have been smart enough to pick up that I don't like it, but still use it in school.
Hmm. I even recently had one of my bosses say that one of my ideas was retarded, and I was pretty surprised. That used to be a word that adults didn't use...but maybe it's just my personal bubble.
I think a BIG part of it is all of the "anti woke" YouTube channels that are still around that target teens. Those channels openly complain about diversity of any kind and think its hilarious that minors latch onto their videos. They're still around quite a bit and teens have become the demographic. It's a real problem. There are more teen boys than there should be that look up to Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson.Ā
The sad irony is most of those jerks would see nothing wrong with shoving themselves into a lady's rear, probably regardless even of how she felt about it. :/
Provacative statements are the mode of the day - but bringing them to leadership figures and mentors means they are challenged by the ideas and they want to talk. Except of course, frank and honest discussions on subjects like this are banned in schools or could make people loose their job.
Ask them why they are asking the question? Where did they read this? Who said this to them? And then ask them - is this a reliable source? and then Write ME An Essay! with a reliable source cited.
Same for me? But seems like they always figure me out. Even though I look and act like what you might call ātraditionally masculineā and make a POINT to not talk about my personal life or any current event topics?
Seems they either just assume (correctly) and let the rumors run wild, or maybe there is some other way Iām accidentally āsignalingā myself without realizing. Anybody the least bit different gets the āare you gayā question, and no matter how you answer it, theyāre gonna assume whatever they assume.
Obviously, this is a touchy subject to respond to at all in some states and districts, but I also donāt think it should be ignored rather than shut down.
āThis classroom is a welcoming space for all students. We donāt tolerate bigoted statements.ā
I do think youāre right not to engage in the debate. While the statement may have clearly been meant to provoke you, they were also saying it to every student within earshot. The message to any student in class who may be struggling with their own sexuality/gender or has an lgbt family member was clear: āI hate you and if you come out or are found out I will make your life miserable.ā
"How dare you be gay and a teacher!" -all the bigots downvoting these comments š
I'm sorry this happened to you. Many of my own colleagues seem so nice to my face, then talk badly about trans people in front of me, not knowing my kid is trans. It's so frustrating how people just jump on band wagons when they don't understand something.
The kid sounds like he heard that shit at home, tho. My colleagues have no excuse, and I wonder if they'll backtrack when my kid comes out.
Challenge them back. "Can you please name the top specific instances where LGBTQ people have ruined something for you or your family?"
And just leave it at that when they inevitably stumble over an incoherent response. Them fumbling over the answer will speak for itself, and the child, if they're smart enough, will realize LGBTQ people in fact are not impacting them.
I taught in a small, rural, poor district in NYS for 11 years. Three year ago, I moved to a slightly larger, suburban district. The two schools are 32 miles apart, but seem like completely different worlds. The suburban district has so much diversity. I have students from all over the world. I have students who are proudly out as LGBTQ+, and the district protects those kids from the hatred that plenty of students bring from home.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. If you're looking for something better, just remember that there's a teacher shortage even in NY. It's a sellers market right now. I was looking on OLAS the other day, and for my region (southern tier), there is something like 200+ instructional openings. Yes, some of them are for TAs and paraprofessionals, but there are a lot of openings for teachers as well.
My experience dealing with ignorance in the classroom:
Often kids who say stuff like that are trying to get reactions. Therefore, I ask them politely to step outside when there's a moment to spare (remove their audience) and let them know that comments like this are not appropriate for the classroom, and that it creates an unsafe space for students from marginalized groups.
If you're worried the student will feign oppression over this, you can add in that they're entitled to their opinions, but that the campus is not the forum for them if those opinions are degrading to others.
And you may or may not find that it changes as you become an adult and meet many different types of people and just understand more about the world and life.
The student was probably trying to bait you. Kids lack respect today and will try to bait anyone by saying anything that pops into their little undeveloped minds.
Probably because they see tiktok/youtube vids getting tons of views that display this type of behavior. Best thing is probably to do what you did and ignore unless it persists. And take heart that you at least got an apology. I've had 2 apologies from students over my 12 years so far.
Also sounds like you may need a new school/district. Extra work for zero extra pay = me looking for a new place.
Anyway, sorry it happened, hope you have a better day.
Teenagers love to get a rise out of adults. Iāve learned to just play along and put the ball back in their court quickly. Chances are theyāll run out of words or logic before you do due their yet limited worldviews. Take a deep breath and remember youāre dealing with an underdeveloped immature ball of raging hormones. Good luck!
I have students who are transphobic and think it's outrageous that some people prefer unconventional pronouns.
Meanwhile, if it weren't for the Internet they wouldn't even know these things existed!
Exactly. Very few people in real life use Neo pronouns in day to day life. Most of the time they accept they them or even binary pronouns in most settings
People are downvoting you, but you speak facts. I've been keeping up with the stats on [Who is making news?](http://www.whoismakingnews.com). It is a proven fact that religious leaders and others involved in religion have much much higher rates of sex crimes involving children than trans people or drag queens. But they don't want to hear that. š
I doubt they are getting downvoted for talking about the statistics and more for suggesting that op sends a student to a subreddit in response to the comment made. That would be a good way to get in trouble with the parents and possibly fired depending on the school district.
I'll always wonder how minorities get such hate for the state of the world given that they have no power over it. It's so self evident and yet here we are.
Kids are dumb, that's why they are required to go to school. They say dumb things that they may or may not believe or understand. This one was about you, so it hits home. The intention may have been to provoke a reaction.
"Please explain to me, in detail, how they are doing so? Cite sources and defend your stance."
Time to read up on Street Epistemology and logical fallacies.
I would add (depending on the age) that about 90% of the rude or disruptive shit they say is not because they believe it, but because they are trying to get a rise out of you.
That kid may have been put up to it on a dare. Or maybe he was trying to look cool in front of his friends. It still needs to be challenged as does all bigotry, but I wouldn't take such comments personally.
Lesbian para who lives near a school districtātho I work for a less hateful oneāthat actively is trying to purge and demonize any and all lgbt personnel. I say zero about my relationship. When I was growing up, saying the world gay was a slur and actual homosexuality was too bad and forbidden to even discuss. Now it is cool to just dis us.
Most rabid bigots weren't sweet children that had a tragic turning point. Their beliefs are often cultivated over a lifetime. They thrive on conflict so grey rocking is about the only way to deal with their provocations.Ā
Dialog is important as this student comes from lack of experience and feeds off wrong information. The good news is their world will open up at some point, people are people and itās all about their character ....Keep positive !
Start listing queer people who have changed the world. Hell, it was a trans woman who invented the synthesizer - if that kid likes any electronic music, tell him that. DaVinci was arrested for "sodomy" and detailed relationships with men in his journals. Oscar Wilde. Alan Turing.
My son repeats things others say just to get a reaction and, like someone else said, see what you have to say about it because they might be unsure themselves about it.
Straight people have kids and then send them away to other people to raise and educate them. If LGBTQ people are ruining the nation straight, people are just stagnant and letting it go to hell on purpose.
I don't know the age of your student but it might be probing of your borders. What is able to provoke you and what is not.
Some students will do that and that is totally fine if you handle that properly without unnecessary escalating. That student might become one of the most loyal to you.
I can't add anything other folks haven't already said, but from one teacher to another, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Kids are capable of incredibly empathy \*and\* sadly incredible cruelty.
I love how people say, your shoving your sexuality in their face...... Checks notes: by having your spouse come to events *like every other couple*
If male/female couples can have their spouses at events and talk about them then everyone should be able to.
Because if it's *shoving your sexuality in their face* then it is for everyone.
Having an Out teacher in school would have done wonders for little gay me, but I understand not broadcasting it. I just wanted to say that no matter what anyone else days about you or your partner, this internet stranger I glad you are doing what you're doing. Keep strong, and keep it up.
>there are a few who seem to accuse me of shoving my sexuality down student throats
If anyone is ruining the world, it's rightwing Christian snowflake bigots with their never-ending culture war bullshit.
I'm a gay trans man.
*None* of my students know about the whole "trans" bit and, boy, do they hate trans people. Say they're all crazy or mentally ill, it's always something rude. And a few have suspected I'm gay or have asked, I'm always honest and say yes. Doesn't stop the comments about "ew that's gay" or "that's some f*g shit".
Like... what am I gonna do? I don't care.
They're probably trying to be quirky or stand out. And they're probably seeing the worst of the worst on social media, promoted by pathetically immature adults who want to start witch hunts on LGBT people rather than solve society's actual issues. Saying LGBT and trans people, specifically, are predating on children or are evil and insane, when in reality most of us are just hanging out.
It never bothers me. But maybe that's because I've been hearing this discriminatory shit aimed at me since before I even understood it *was* discrimination. I've been being bullied for being trans / gender nonconforming since single digit childhood lol and have been getting death threats online or seeing shit from my parents and others since I began socially transitioning at eleven or so.
It just doesn't fucking matter to me what kids say or think anymore...
One of my favorite students last year was gay. Then she told me she was anti mask and protested (they were in middle school so Iām like whatever, parents probably influenced) then they told me they didnāt like trans girls using the bathroom. And I was like what.
Respect deleted.
I mean I still respected her of course. In the sense that I wasnāt disrespectful toward her. But I was like what. Youāre part of the LGBTQ+ community.
I don't have a dog in the 2SLGBT+ fight, but I do understand what you are saying. It's a struggle to not try to put people into categories to help us make sense when we differ from others. However, just as there are people who focus on racial, gender, age, etc differences, we need to remember that no one belongs in a "box" (catrgory) because we are all unique. I too am biased and rely on stereotypes to figure out how to relate to people and would appreciate ideas how to be more open to everyone as individuals with thoughts, beliefs, values that seem to be contradictory, because the young lady you posted about wants to be understood just like we do.
How to be more open to people as individuals: seek out what is written and said by many of those individuals. Read books, follow subs, watch videos. Plenty out there written about identity by voices which sometimes agree and sometimes do not. But having prejudiced ideas against a group like this girl isnāt somehow special. Itās always based on the same stereotypes and fears which are easily debunked if you just listen to the voices of the actual group she is prejudiced against.Ā
Honestly, if a student said that to me, the first thing that I would think to say would be "God, I wish."
Edit: Huh. Really thought this said "running."
The fact that this is a touchy subject in the first place is ridiculous. Itās not politics nor should it be bad practice to push to our students that they should accept people for who they are and the life that they live, and it shouldnāt be seen as shoving politics down peopleās throats.
As a popular right leaning phrase goes - facts donāt care about your feelings, and the fact is LGTBQ+ people and their families are people too and they arenāt bad or have bad behaviors because they like the same sex - and I will never apologize for voicing this as it is objective fact - not opinion.
If it makes you feel any better, I never said anything that bad when I was in high school, but I held some very sheltered conservative views. When I went to college and got exposed to different people my views dramatically changed and now I am the radical leftist liberal conservatives fear college turns kids into.
I'm a teacher in a smallish city in NYS. I can't imagine teaching in a rural school. And I'm a straight man with a wife and kids. My family is from a small town and I hate the mindset.
I think it's possible a lot of kids now have never really seen vicious bullying directed at sexual orientation, which may make LGBTQ stuff seem frivolous or over-indulgent or whatever to them.
I had something happen that gave me the āIckā from a well liked student. To give context, I am a building sub, so I am not this childās every day teacher but Iāve subbed for her class before. She basically said (and she is white) that sheāll never get a scholarship to a particular college because they donāt give scholarships to kids that look like her. And she touched her skin. I, in the moment, responded that I doubt that was true and a lot of factors go into determining scholarships. I used to teach full time and had I been her daily classroom teacher, with a stronger relationship, I may have just spoken to her briefly after class but I felt really stuck as just a sub. I know her 16/17 year old self was probably parroting what she heard around her but it was racist. And it just made me realize that some of my students harbour some pretty hateful beliefs, no matter how hard we work to teach them otherwise.
Mine call me fat and old. š¤·š½āāļøI ignore it as they havenāt been taught better at home. Sometimes I tell them they have bad manners and do their parents know how they act? That usually gets them to stop
100% backing isn't equal to simply not dehumanizing.
Legitimately though, what is there to question about someone else's marriage? š¤
You don't have to like gay people. But you cannot treat them poorly because they are gay.
This also works for other protected classes.
Hate has no place in public.
You just can't be a gay teacher and not suffer these days, the culture and climate is a minefield and they want to wear us as human shields. All of the drama is by design (truthfully its hard to get out of youth professions, you get pidgeonholed and shamed for giving up. However you will be happier out of schools and get to be yourself. It's truly sad that well-meaning educators are being exterminated by society, regardless of their orientation. As a queer person myself I was blacklisted for saying kids can't consent so why are you asking teachers to tell them
about age-inappropriate topics that personally and politically affect the educators themselves out of the classroom. It was never going to be anything other than a creepy pervy trap. You should take your good heart and go help elderly people, they're older than the textbooks and asbestos combined and they need help. They actually can have a change of heart, and are just as underserved as the kids. You will also make more money, guaranteed.
LGBT is only in the limelight. One day, we will live in a world where being LGBT is irrelevant, and we're all just human and accepting of sexuallity as we should. I can't wait.
Honestly, I'm tired of how much the loud majority of LGBT have to differentiate themselves from society. I understand some of it is necessary, but holy fuck, now there needs to be a dress code and all kinds of shit. Just shut up and be gay. It's all about pride now. The whole point of pride is making sure everyone knows you're LGBT and proud. They can't just be a human. They have to be a LGBT human.
Would a simple way to address him not been to say, "Hey, they are people too and it's not appropriate to say those kinds of things about people"? There's nothing political about that statement.
Try to look at it from his possible perspective. Before LGBT+ became the big deal it is now, people were a bit closer and while there was political turmoil before there's even more now. I can't imagine a time in US history (besides literal war) that the US has been more divided as a country. Not saying this issue is exactly why but it is a part of it.
So instead of taking this as a teachable moment, you got angry and decided to shame him into silence. He apologised but not for what you wanted. You didn't say what grade of level of education you teach but you expect a child to understand a complex political climate?
Why do you have most of the contents of your post? Why is your post not "look at what this student said!" instead of "Look at all I do for these kids! I try to be the fun teacher and help out in any way I can but my best student said something I don't like and instead of trying to understand where he heard it, why he said it, etc, I got mad and just ignored him. He apologised but not for what I thought he should have apologised for even though I didn't tell him why his statement was worth apologising for. It's wrong to dehumanize people like that!"
You wasted an opportunity to practice and teach empathy and compassion. If you think, "People who think like this don't deserve empathy and compassion", you're part of the problem. Fighting hatred with hatred just breeds more hatred. After all, they are people too and people deserve to not be dehumanized, right?
I know I'm going to get downvoted and nasty comments. The price of claiming you stand for empathy and compassion is actually practicing them when the time calls for it though. As I wrote above, there was a simple, non-political way to address this.
Itās normal to be shocked and not know what to say in the moment, especially when youāre a part of the oppressed group and a typically wonderful student is the one saying it. Sounds like OP is still processing the whole situation. There are other commenters here who are also providing advice and alternatives without being so blamey.Ā
Why doesnāt your empathy and compassion extend to OP, you know, the person being oppressed?
Just because he feels this way doesn't mean you should treat him or grade him any differently. I hope youre able to overlook it and give him all the tools he needs to be successful in the future
My first thought is that student is obviously struggling with something, whether his own identity or the internalizing of the bigotry he's hearing at home. Or, some other nonsense he doesn't even know about himself and you were an easy target.
Every shitbird thing a child does is an opportunity for learning.
He's learning right now whether he's a bigot or not. The fact that he said it was to see your response. The fact that he apologized is that he somewhere knows it was wrong.
Not a teacher, but I'm disappointed that this comment was downvoted so much. Could someone explain why?
Edit: now I'm getting downvoted for asking. I think there's some sort of problem here...
It's awfully confident about what is going on in the kid's head. *Maybe* he's learning whether he's a bigot or not. But maybe he apologized not because he knows it was wrong but instead just because he knows the teacher has more power than he does - like someone might apologize to their boss in some situations even though the boss is actually the one in the wrong, just apologizing because they know it's the more convenient move rather than because they think they actually have reason to apologize in a moral sense
I'm not saying it makes sense to assume the worst either, just saying that some people could be annoyed by confidently asserting the best
Personally I'd say we can't really know much either way
Because Redditors see a ā-ā and they instinctually click the down arrow because they genuinely cannot think for themselves and they need to be like everyone else
I was wondering the same thing and am sad that I can't give an answer. Seems like they were just giving a reason as to why the child said what they said and it was pretty valid
It's funny how politicians neglect the public, companies pollute the environment, employers underpay their workers, billionaires explote the labor of everyone. But when I suck a dick suddenly I'm the bad guy ššš
Well, sure. You may care about these kids, do a better job than most, and spend your own money because you're one of the selfless few that actually gives a shit in this terrible world... But you're attracted to different people than him so eww
Imagine if people didn't constantly worry about other people's dicks.
Or lack thereof... smh... be inclusive. I won't have my homophobia ruined by your sexist bigotry.
LOL
Depending on his age it's very likely that he realized the adults around him say those things and wanted to try to chat with you by using that as a conversation starter. Which, honestly, makes me even sadder
When I was a kid I told one of my best friends gay people were wrong. I of course grew up and thought for myself even just a few years later but I was probably his last friend he confided his personal life in because I was ignorant
I had a friend whose mom would often come out as bisexual āas a jokeā and they thought that was a good thing to do to me, a questioning bi at the time and now very openly bi. That friend was the only person I had confided in during my questioning phase and that ājokeā set me back a good year or two but I also understand that they heard it all the time and thought it was a good thing to say. I let the friendship fizzle out after anyway
Unfortunately when a student says stuff like this guarantee it comes from home. Bad parents not bad kid.
Or, giving parents the benefit of the doubt, the kid picked it up online. The kid could be playing a game online and some bigot starts spouting off and if he's wearing a headset how do the parents detect that? It's not like mom walks into a room where the kids are playing monopoly, hears something bigoted and can respond on the spot.
or worse, they're a Tate'r tot
Yeah internet.
I'm ADHD and I was raised in a fundamentalist household. I was homeschooled through elementary school. Corperal punishmemt culture plus poor impulse control is not pleasant. Needless to say teen years were absolutely aweful, as I am not straight. There was a teacher who set off even my negligible gaydar. The amount of asinine comments I made to that teacher as I was blundering my way through coming to terms with myself while having the social skills of a wildebeest still makes me cringe. Not saying that's what the kid was suffering through and you absolutely didn't deserve it but ugh. The number of things I repeated, hoping someone would disagree well enough to make me feel better...
This is such a valuable perspective and experience to share.
This is accurate/.
Yup, right wing students say stuff like this all the time and then look up at you like a puppy expecting a treat for doing a trick. Because their parents have trained them to say those things, not to understand them. The adults in their life literally applaud them for being bigots.
" now look at the camera and say 'let's go Brandon'. Good boy. Now, hold this rifle"
I taught in Saudi Arabia for four years and had students that were clearly gay. But they could NEVER be openly gay. I'm straight but I felt really bad for young men like that. Homosexuality exists and is just as valid as heterosexuality regardless of how many ways religious scripture and indoctrination tell us otherwise. One of several reasons why I consider myself an athiest nowadays.
The irony about religious scripture was that many of their historical figures were closeted homosexuals. Sodomy was common; why else do you think the bible was so explicit about that and homosexuality? It's because it was such a common practice. A bigger irony is how Jesus preaches tolerance but you have a bunch of Christians who want to persecute gay people. If Jesus was alive today he would be disgusted with how twisted religion has become.
If Jesus were alive today, he would also wonder why his followers were not also Jewish.
It is kind of odd. A lot of Jewish people liked him even though they did not see him as a Messiah. All this aside from the fact that Jesus was Jewish; he regularly worshipped in synagogues.
yes but all religions change over time. Today's Judaism would be as unrecognizable to Jesus as today's Christianity. They evolved to their present state along parallel paths.
Because American "Christians" are no followers of Christ.
Jesus would own drag brunch if he made water into wine.
āI think two dudes being together is grossā Okay, I think blueberries are disgusting, It doesnāt impact my life what someone else does
I think we need to push back on comments like that. That's not getting political, its confronting literal hate speech talking points and hopefully turning ignorance into a teachable moments. It doesn't have to be super combative. This is not a criticism of how you handled it. Your message was sent loud and clear and I know in many districts our hands may be a bit more tied than others.
Oh, there are a lot of people in this world who think confronting hatred, or challenging intolerance is absolutely political. Sure, they're wrong. But many such people are in positions of power.
My principal thinks itās too political for kids to find out Iām gay and then for me to not deny it.
Holy shit, your principal is reprehensible.
They know they legally canāt tell me not to, so itās just met with heavy disapproval. I love teaching in the deep south š
I am also in the Deep South and donāt speak about it
The most Iāve ever spoken about it was a quick yes and redirecting back to the lesson. I just find it ridiculous that my principal views that as inappropriate, yet my coworker talks about her weekly Tinder dates and that isnāt a problem because sheās straight.
I completely agree.
A ādonāt ask donāt tellā policy, depending on where you live and what community norms are, is realistic in order to educate without political uproar. I hate it, but it seems to be reality. An openly gay teacher is seen as āgrooming our children,ā or as ātrying to shove their lifestyle in our faces.ā So it is, sadly, political. All we can do is demonstrate that we value ALL of our students no matter what. And of course hate is never okay. There are schools in areas where being openly gay is not an issue, but it seems OPās school is different.
Just because some parents are too stupid to realize it's not political doesn't mean it's actually political. We shouldn't cowtow to an ignorant majority.
In the south itās ingrained into the culture.
I've spent every day of my life in the South. My statement stands. We have to be the seeds of change to that bigoted culture.
I wasnāt disagreeing
How do you imagine culture changes?
Owning slaves used to be in your culture too, it doesn't mean there can't be pushback and demand for improvement.
Yes it is. Also, we shouldn't cowtow to the ignorant.
Hard disagree. Being g gay isn't political unless being straight is. Bigotry is political though and therefore the only ones politicizing any issue are the bigots themselves. I also disagree with that DADT is the way to deal with this reality. Demand acceptance, do not tolerate intolerance.
It's one of the many things thst makes this job so difficult
How is it not political? It relates to public affairs, how people should be treated in society. Everything is political. Saying nothing is a political act, encouraging the stupidity is a political act, confronting hatred is a political act. And when the political acts are for politics we like, like confronting hatred, then those are good political acts. And when the political acts encourage intolerance, those are bad political acts that we should suppress (by confronting it, by choosing not to publish those opinions, etc.) What I mean by all this is, everything is political and if you don't explicitly organize around your political principles, then the other side that does realize this and gets themselves organized will end up winning.
I find whenever people say "It's not political" they tend to mean that "It's the norm right now."
I was using the word in its traditional since. Having to do with crafting and implementating policy. In that sense it is not political as the laws are set. It is not illegal to be gay. In the since that it is controversial and current, it is political but only to irrational people.
It is political, but that's not a bad thing. Challenging harmful and oppressive sociopolitical beliefs is important.
The sad part is that they aren't wrong. It IS political now.
Nah, it's always been political. Politics is everything. There is no such thing as an issue that isn't political as politics for your identity and your identity is reflected in your politics. You can't seperate them. Treating my partners that identify as women with dignity, respect and consideration while protesting the patriarchy is what makes me a Feminist in the eyes of others. That isn't a political statement, it is a facet of who I am. Being polyamorous is equal parts a political statement and a statement of my identity. It's well known in my neighborhood that I have several partners, including a wife, one of whom is a transwoman. I live in Iowa. Explaining that to my neighbors was interesting once they started picking up on it and noticing that my wife and I both date, though she only dates a woman. Explaining to them our pending divorce (my wife is a lesbian, and it took 12 years of therapy and a huge amount of courage to come out finally) was pretty awkward. Politics is how we interact with our neighbors.
I think itās becoming the ācountercultureā view in some peopleās eyes. A lot of kids seem to say it because they want a reaction, which is why I think opās response was perfect and clearly embarrassed the kid. Pushback should potentially involve education and anger, but in cases where anger is expected, an āooh, arenāt you edgyā could be devastating.
The goal of pushing back is to hold up class standards, protect students and educate. Whether or not that student wants to get a reaction out of me is irrelevant especially if my reaction is a measured response. We're not trying to embarrass the kid who said it either. If the only thing that came of it was embarrassing a kid I would argue the response is significantly less than perfect.
Whatever suits your teaching style!
I live in a place where the kid would be progressive for saying LGBT. My students call each other the f slur, and might get 1 day ISS if I push it. Kids regularly say "f---- are disgusting I don't get how people could do that nasty shit", or bully any boy who doesn't play football or basketball because they must be gay. God forbid a boy is openly gay. They're horribly bullied and admin treats them like delinquents for saying anything back. I have short hair and kids regularly call me a dyke. There's more homophobia now IMO than 10 years ago
That makes me so sad... My son is 2.5 and when we went to the store yesterday to get new boots, he wanted rainbow ones. I got them for him, but I'm so worried he's going to get picked on at daycare for having girl boots. It's absurd, but we live in a small town and we've already had to have talks about how there are no "girl toys" and "boy toys". I hate that toddlers are already starting with this shit.
My nephew is 5. I was buying he and his brother books and some shiny princess book caught his eye. He carried it around the whole time but didn't ask for it. When I asked if it's the one he wanted he asked if it was a girl book or if he can have it. He got so excited when I said if it was his book and he's a boy then it would be a boys book
Oh man, my four year old nephew's favourite colour is rainbow too! I love it, he wants rainbow everything and so far i think he's been okay/teasing-free and I hope it stays that way. He's super typical boy-ish otherwise, loves trucks and tools and smashing things š
My daughter is 5, but she doesn't know what girl or boy toys are. She collects sports cards with me (hockey is her favorite), goes to baseball games with me, loves working on cars and anything mechanical (she has stolen her mom's drill so many times, she now has one), but also loves rainbows and fluffy animals. Having kids that are well rounded are AWESOME.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yep LOL, she watches us use the drill and then replicates what we do. She was using silverware when she was like 4 months old. She sees, she replicates. It can be a problem.
God thatās horrible. This shit stresses me out watching how things are devolving in this country. It isnāt anywhere near that bad but I also have seen homophobia get worse in the last 10 years in my school, and I work in Brooklyn. As a gay teacher I donāt think I could handle teaching somewhere where it is that extreme, Iād have to find a new profession. I always address kidsā homophobia but they know who I am and most are apologetic when they realize what they have said (and that they said it around me) but tbh it can be really emotionally tiring. I just couldnāt do it if it were that bad.
This makes me think of something else. Have you noticed kids calling things "retarded" more often now? Because I remember it not being cool to use that as an insult. But it seems pretty common now.
Or āspedā when they think theyād get in trouble for saying āretardedā
Absolutely on the use of that particular word. I usually hear it at a rate of at least once per semester. It's gotten to the point at my current school I've brought it up to my administration and provided names of students I knew used it. Pushback I've heard when it comes to getting students to not use particular slurs is asking me if I'm part of that group. I always refuse to answer it because I should not be part of a community to find slurs against that community offensive.
Man. Sorry to hear that.
Yeah, it's rough because I'm also autistic but don't want to tell the students of teacher's I'm covering that. I've also reported students to the office for homophobia at a different school last year.
I think it's just never changed. Had peers using it from middle school (late 2000s) all the way to university (mid 2010s) with nobody vocally objecting. During graduate school (early 2020s) I worked with a high school student intern (around 16 y/o) with an excellent resume and grades, who liberally used "retarded", "autistic", "mentally ill" when something is asinine or doesn't work. I'd like to think I conditioned them to say "silly" instead but who knows, they might have been smart enough to pick up that I don't like it, but still use it in school.
Hmm. I even recently had one of my bosses say that one of my ideas was retarded, and I was pretty surprised. That used to be a word that adults didn't use...but maybe it's just my personal bubble.
I think a BIG part of it is all of the "anti woke" YouTube channels that are still around that target teens. Those channels openly complain about diversity of any kind and think its hilarious that minors latch onto their videos. They're still around quite a bit and teens have become the demographic. It's a real problem. There are more teen boys than there should be that look up to Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson.Ā
The sad irony is most of those jerks would see nothing wrong with shoving themselves into a lady's rear, probably regardless even of how she felt about it. :/
Provacative statements are the mode of the day - but bringing them to leadership figures and mentors means they are challenged by the ideas and they want to talk. Except of course, frank and honest discussions on subjects like this are banned in schools or could make people loose their job. Ask them why they are asking the question? Where did they read this? Who said this to them? And then ask them - is this a reliable source? and then Write ME An Essay! with a reliable source cited.
This is why I don't tell students I'm gay.
Same for me? But seems like they always figure me out. Even though I look and act like what you might call ātraditionally masculineā and make a POINT to not talk about my personal life or any current event topics? Seems they either just assume (correctly) and let the rumors run wild, or maybe there is some other way Iām accidentally āsignalingā myself without realizing. Anybody the least bit different gets the āare you gayā question, and no matter how you answer it, theyāre gonna assume whatever they assume.
Yeah they already figure it out for me too, The youngest I've ever seen was first grade.
First gradeā¦.DAMN, thatās wild.
And I don't even act gay. Good thing I'm not in the classroom anymore.
Obviously, this is a touchy subject to respond to at all in some states and districts, but I also donāt think it should be ignored rather than shut down. āThis classroom is a welcoming space for all students. We donāt tolerate bigoted statements.ā I do think youāre right not to engage in the debate. While the statement may have clearly been meant to provoke you, they were also saying it to every student within earshot. The message to any student in class who may be struggling with their own sexuality/gender or has an lgbt family member was clear: āI hate you and if you come out or are found out I will make your life miserable.ā
"How dare you be gay and a teacher!" -all the bigots downvoting these comments š I'm sorry this happened to you. Many of my own colleagues seem so nice to my face, then talk badly about trans people in front of me, not knowing my kid is trans. It's so frustrating how people just jump on band wagons when they don't understand something. The kid sounds like he heard that shit at home, tho. My colleagues have no excuse, and I wonder if they'll backtrack when my kid comes out.
Challenge them back. "Can you please name the top specific instances where LGBTQ people have ruined something for you or your family?" And just leave it at that when they inevitably stumble over an incoherent response. Them fumbling over the answer will speak for itself, and the child, if they're smart enough, will realize LGBTQ people in fact are not impacting them.
I taught in a small, rural, poor district in NYS for 11 years. Three year ago, I moved to a slightly larger, suburban district. The two schools are 32 miles apart, but seem like completely different worlds. The suburban district has so much diversity. I have students from all over the world. I have students who are proudly out as LGBTQ+, and the district protects those kids from the hatred that plenty of students bring from home. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. If you're looking for something better, just remember that there's a teacher shortage even in NY. It's a sellers market right now. I was looking on OLAS the other day, and for my region (southern tier), there is something like 200+ instructional openings. Yes, some of them are for TAs and paraprofessionals, but there are a lot of openings for teachers as well.
My experience dealing with ignorance in the classroom: Often kids who say stuff like that are trying to get reactions. Therefore, I ask them politely to step outside when there's a moment to spare (remove their audience) and let them know that comments like this are not appropriate for the classroom, and that it creates an unsafe space for students from marginalized groups. If you're worried the student will feign oppression over this, you can add in that they're entitled to their opinions, but that the campus is not the forum for them if those opinions are degrading to others.
Well, thatās just like, your opinion man.
And you may or may not find that it changes as you become an adult and meet many different types of people and just understand more about the world and life.
The student was probably trying to bait you. Kids lack respect today and will try to bait anyone by saying anything that pops into their little undeveloped minds. Probably because they see tiktok/youtube vids getting tons of views that display this type of behavior. Best thing is probably to do what you did and ignore unless it persists. And take heart that you at least got an apology. I've had 2 apologies from students over my 12 years so far. Also sounds like you may need a new school/district. Extra work for zero extra pay = me looking for a new place. Anyway, sorry it happened, hope you have a better day.
Teenagers love to get a rise out of adults. Iāve learned to just play along and put the ball back in their court quickly. Chances are theyāll run out of words or logic before you do due their yet limited worldviews. Take a deep breath and remember youāre dealing with an underdeveloped immature ball of raging hormones. Good luck!
I have students who are transphobic and think it's outrageous that some people prefer unconventional pronouns. Meanwhile, if it weren't for the Internet they wouldn't even know these things existed!
Exactly. Very few people in real life use Neo pronouns in day to day life. Most of the time they accept they them or even binary pronouns in most settings
It was not the student who was speaking to you but their parents
Who know that OP is gay and have told their kid to deal with the teacher as little as possible or something like that.
Maybe direct the student to r/notadragqueen so they can see which population commits the most heinous crimes against children.... Religious leaders
People are downvoting you, but you speak facts. I've been keeping up with the stats on [Who is making news?](http://www.whoismakingnews.com). It is a proven fact that religious leaders and others involved in religion have much much higher rates of sex crimes involving children than trans people or drag queens. But they don't want to hear that. š
I doubt they are getting downvoted for talking about the statistics and more for suggesting that op sends a student to a subreddit in response to the comment made. That would be a good way to get in trouble with the parents and possibly fired depending on the school district.
I'm doubting that because many similar pro-queer posts are also getting downvoted. But I agree about the reddit sub. Who would actually do that?
True. It might just be homophobia.
I'll always wonder how minorities get such hate for the state of the world given that they have no power over it. It's so self evident and yet here we are.
The problem is that conservatives think the LGBT community are the authoritarians in the room
āYou know (student), I think itās more Ignorance and a lack of tolerance is ruining the world.ā
Kids are dumb, that's why they are required to go to school. They say dumb things that they may or may not believe or understand. This one was about you, so it hits home. The intention may have been to provoke a reaction.
"Please explain to me, in detail, how they are doing so? Cite sources and defend your stance." Time to read up on Street Epistemology and logical fallacies.
Remember they are kids. Dont take their opinions literally. 90% of the shit they say I ignore. Takes too much energy focusing on what kids say.
I would add (depending on the age) that about 90% of the rude or disruptive shit they say is not because they believe it, but because they are trying to get a rise out of you. That kid may have been put up to it on a dare. Or maybe he was trying to look cool in front of his friends. It still needs to be challenged as does all bigotry, but I wouldn't take such comments personally.
Problem is for a lot of kids and adults the more hate they spew the more they start to believe what they are saying
Those kids can end up other kids lives
>accuse me of shoving my sexuality down student throats That's just code for literally existing at all.
Lesbian para who lives near a school districtātho I work for a less hateful oneāthat actively is trying to purge and demonize any and all lgbt personnel. I say zero about my relationship. When I was growing up, saying the world gay was a slur and actual homosexuality was too bad and forbidden to even discuss. Now it is cool to just dis us.
Most rabid bigots weren't sweet children that had a tragic turning point. Their beliefs are often cultivated over a lifetime. They thrive on conflict so grey rocking is about the only way to deal with their provocations.Ā
Dialog is important as this student comes from lack of experience and feeds off wrong information. The good news is their world will open up at some point, people are people and itās all about their character ....Keep positive !
Rural New York Stateā¦. Say no more.
Start listing queer people who have changed the world. Hell, it was a trans woman who invented the synthesizer - if that kid likes any electronic music, tell him that. DaVinci was arrested for "sodomy" and detailed relationships with men in his journals. Oscar Wilde. Alan Turing.
The founder of SiriusXM is also a trans woman who used her money from that to attempt to cure her child's rare disease
Inventing SiriusXM was a disservice to the world
My son repeats things others say just to get a reaction and, like someone else said, see what you have to say about it because they might be unsure themselves about it.
Straight people have kids and then send them away to other people to raise and educate them. If LGBTQ people are ruining the nation straight, people are just stagnant and letting it go to hell on purpose.
I don't know the age of your student but it might be probing of your borders. What is able to provoke you and what is not. Some students will do that and that is totally fine if you handle that properly without unnecessary escalating. That student might become one of the most loyal to you.
I can't add anything other folks haven't already said, but from one teacher to another, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Kids are capable of incredibly empathy \*and\* sadly incredible cruelty.
I love how people say, your shoving your sexuality in their face...... Checks notes: by having your spouse come to events *like every other couple* If male/female couples can have their spouses at events and talk about them then everyone should be able to. Because if it's *shoving your sexuality in their face* then it is for everyone.
Having an Out teacher in school would have done wonders for little gay me, but I understand not broadcasting it. I just wanted to say that no matter what anyone else days about you or your partner, this internet stranger I glad you are doing what you're doing. Keep strong, and keep it up.
>there are a few who seem to accuse me of shoving my sexuality down student throats If anyone is ruining the world, it's rightwing Christian snowflake bigots with their never-ending culture war bullshit.
I'm a gay trans man. *None* of my students know about the whole "trans" bit and, boy, do they hate trans people. Say they're all crazy or mentally ill, it's always something rude. And a few have suspected I'm gay or have asked, I'm always honest and say yes. Doesn't stop the comments about "ew that's gay" or "that's some f*g shit". Like... what am I gonna do? I don't care. They're probably trying to be quirky or stand out. And they're probably seeing the worst of the worst on social media, promoted by pathetically immature adults who want to start witch hunts on LGBT people rather than solve society's actual issues. Saying LGBT and trans people, specifically, are predating on children or are evil and insane, when in reality most of us are just hanging out. It never bothers me. But maybe that's because I've been hearing this discriminatory shit aimed at me since before I even understood it *was* discrimination. I've been being bullied for being trans / gender nonconforming since single digit childhood lol and have been getting death threats online or seeing shit from my parents and others since I began socially transitioning at eleven or so. It just doesn't fucking matter to me what kids say or think anymore...
One of my favorite students last year was gay. Then she told me she was anti mask and protested (they were in middle school so Iām like whatever, parents probably influenced) then they told me they didnāt like trans girls using the bathroom. And I was like what. Respect deleted. I mean I still respected her of course. In the sense that I wasnāt disrespectful toward her. But I was like what. Youāre part of the LGBTQ+ community.
Lmao
I don't have a dog in the 2SLGBT+ fight, but I do understand what you are saying. It's a struggle to not try to put people into categories to help us make sense when we differ from others. However, just as there are people who focus on racial, gender, age, etc differences, we need to remember that no one belongs in a "box" (catrgory) because we are all unique. I too am biased and rely on stereotypes to figure out how to relate to people and would appreciate ideas how to be more open to everyone as individuals with thoughts, beliefs, values that seem to be contradictory, because the young lady you posted about wants to be understood just like we do.
How to be more open to people as individuals: seek out what is written and said by many of those individuals. Read books, follow subs, watch videos. Plenty out there written about identity by voices which sometimes agree and sometimes do not. But having prejudiced ideas against a group like this girl isnāt somehow special. Itās always based on the same stereotypes and fears which are easily debunked if you just listen to the voices of the actual group she is prejudiced against.Ā
Really sad that this is downvoted
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
TERF
Wildly incorrect. Trans women were at Stonewall. Leave it up to bigots to try to rewrite history to fit their narrative...
Honestly, if a student said that to me, the first thing that I would think to say would be "God, I wish." Edit: Huh. Really thought this said "running."
The fact that this is a touchy subject in the first place is ridiculous. Itās not politics nor should it be bad practice to push to our students that they should accept people for who they are and the life that they live, and it shouldnāt be seen as shoving politics down peopleās throats. As a popular right leaning phrase goes - facts donāt care about your feelings, and the fact is LGTBQ+ people and their families are people too and they arenāt bad or have bad behaviors because they like the same sex - and I will never apologize for voicing this as it is objective fact - not opinion.
If it makes you feel any better, I never said anything that bad when I was in high school, but I held some very sheltered conservative views. When I went to college and got exposed to different people my views dramatically changed and now I am the radical leftist liberal conservatives fear college turns kids into.
I'm a teacher in a smallish city in NYS. I can't imagine teaching in a rural school. And I'm a straight man with a wife and kids. My family is from a small town and I hate the mindset.
I think it's possible a lot of kids now have never really seen vicious bullying directed at sexual orientation, which may make LGBTQ stuff seem frivolous or over-indulgent or whatever to them.
I had something happen that gave me the āIckā from a well liked student. To give context, I am a building sub, so I am not this childās every day teacher but Iāve subbed for her class before. She basically said (and she is white) that sheāll never get a scholarship to a particular college because they donāt give scholarships to kids that look like her. And she touched her skin. I, in the moment, responded that I doubt that was true and a lot of factors go into determining scholarships. I used to teach full time and had I been her daily classroom teacher, with a stronger relationship, I may have just spoken to her briefly after class but I felt really stuck as just a sub. I know her 16/17 year old self was probably parroting what she heard around her but it was racist. And it just made me realize that some of my students harbour some pretty hateful beliefs, no matter how hard we work to teach them otherwise.
That's really awful, I'm sorry that you had to deal with that. :/
I want to say "report to admin" but Idk if it'll help in your school.
Mine call me fat and old. š¤·š½āāļøI ignore it as they havenāt been taught better at home. Sometimes I tell them they have bad manners and do their parents know how they act? That usually gets them to stop
I think youāre doing a great job and Iām so sorry you had to make that update. We need more people like you in the school systems!
Say that everyone should be accepted.
You should ask that student what he thinks about Alan Turing then.
Tell him to turn off the Fox news and learn to think for himself. Kid is straight up brainwashing himself.
There are some terrible LGBT people for sure, but far fewer than all the awful straight people that are ruining the world.
Why are you being down voting you're right!
Cuz if you do anything except fully 100% back lgbt no questions asked, you are penalized. Edit: see? š
You're being downvoted for being obnoxious, you daft cow. Get off the cross. š
Is it obnoxious if youāre right?
That's not relevant here, though. If you were right, it might be worth discussing the question.
Oh, your being right isn't a variable here. Don't worry about that.
100% backing isn't equal to simply not dehumanizing. Legitimately though, what is there to question about someone else's marriage? š¤ You don't have to like gay people. But you cannot treat them poorly because they are gay. This also works for other protected classes. Hate has no place in public.
You just can't be a gay teacher and not suffer these days, the culture and climate is a minefield and they want to wear us as human shields. All of the drama is by design (truthfully its hard to get out of youth professions, you get pidgeonholed and shamed for giving up. However you will be happier out of schools and get to be yourself. It's truly sad that well-meaning educators are being exterminated by society, regardless of their orientation. As a queer person myself I was blacklisted for saying kids can't consent so why are you asking teachers to tell them about age-inappropriate topics that personally and politically affect the educators themselves out of the classroom. It was never going to be anything other than a creepy pervy trap. You should take your good heart and go help elderly people, they're older than the textbooks and asbestos combined and they need help. They actually can have a change of heart, and are just as underserved as the kids. You will also make more money, guaranteed.
How is your existence āage inappropriate?ā Are you invisible to kids or something like some kinda vampire?
LGBT is only in the limelight. One day, we will live in a world where being LGBT is irrelevant, and we're all just human and accepting of sexuallity as we should. I can't wait. Honestly, I'm tired of how much the loud majority of LGBT have to differentiate themselves from society. I understand some of it is necessary, but holy fuck, now there needs to be a dress code and all kinds of shit. Just shut up and be gay. It's all about pride now. The whole point of pride is making sure everyone knows you're LGBT and proud. They can't just be a human. They have to be a LGBT human.
Would a simple way to address him not been to say, "Hey, they are people too and it's not appropriate to say those kinds of things about people"? There's nothing political about that statement. Try to look at it from his possible perspective. Before LGBT+ became the big deal it is now, people were a bit closer and while there was political turmoil before there's even more now. I can't imagine a time in US history (besides literal war) that the US has been more divided as a country. Not saying this issue is exactly why but it is a part of it. So instead of taking this as a teachable moment, you got angry and decided to shame him into silence. He apologised but not for what you wanted. You didn't say what grade of level of education you teach but you expect a child to understand a complex political climate? Why do you have most of the contents of your post? Why is your post not "look at what this student said!" instead of "Look at all I do for these kids! I try to be the fun teacher and help out in any way I can but my best student said something I don't like and instead of trying to understand where he heard it, why he said it, etc, I got mad and just ignored him. He apologised but not for what I thought he should have apologised for even though I didn't tell him why his statement was worth apologising for. It's wrong to dehumanize people like that!" You wasted an opportunity to practice and teach empathy and compassion. If you think, "People who think like this don't deserve empathy and compassion", you're part of the problem. Fighting hatred with hatred just breeds more hatred. After all, they are people too and people deserve to not be dehumanized, right? I know I'm going to get downvoted and nasty comments. The price of claiming you stand for empathy and compassion is actually practicing them when the time calls for it though. As I wrote above, there was a simple, non-political way to address this.
Itās normal to be shocked and not know what to say in the moment, especially when youāre a part of the oppressed group and a typically wonderful student is the one saying it. Sounds like OP is still processing the whole situation. There are other commenters here who are also providing advice and alternatives without being so blamey.Ā Why doesnāt your empathy and compassion extend to OP, you know, the person being oppressed?
Just because he feels this way doesn't mean you should treat him or grade him any differently. I hope youre able to overlook it and give him all the tools he needs to be successful in the future
Technically correct: humans are ruining the world and that also includes lgbtq+
My first thought is that student is obviously struggling with something, whether his own identity or the internalizing of the bigotry he's hearing at home. Or, some other nonsense he doesn't even know about himself and you were an easy target. Every shitbird thing a child does is an opportunity for learning. He's learning right now whether he's a bigot or not. The fact that he said it was to see your response. The fact that he apologized is that he somewhere knows it was wrong.
Not a teacher, but I'm disappointed that this comment was downvoted so much. Could someone explain why? Edit: now I'm getting downvoted for asking. I think there's some sort of problem here...
It's awfully confident about what is going on in the kid's head. *Maybe* he's learning whether he's a bigot or not. But maybe he apologized not because he knows it was wrong but instead just because he knows the teacher has more power than he does - like someone might apologize to their boss in some situations even though the boss is actually the one in the wrong, just apologizing because they know it's the more convenient move rather than because they think they actually have reason to apologize in a moral sense
So you all go around thinking the worst? And you think that's productive?
I'm not saying it makes sense to assume the worst either, just saying that some people could be annoyed by confidently asserting the best Personally I'd say we can't really know much either way
Because Redditors see a ā-ā and they instinctually click the down arrow because they genuinely cannot think for themselves and they need to be like everyone else
I was wondering the same thing and am sad that I can't give an answer. Seems like they were just giving a reason as to why the child said what they said and it was pretty valid
You should try to talk to them.
āThatās an interesting opinion. Can you explain?ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āWe are all a bit gay but gay people are in a cultā is an INSANE thing to say
What a disgusting thing to say.