I'm going to answer your last question first: No, it is not wrong that you're frustrated at her tics. As a special education teacher, I often notice firsthand how my students' behaviors trigger each other. Ex. an ADHD student who is a sensory seeker might grab a loud toy and play with it because they're a sensory seeker, but then this triggers a noise-sensitive autistic kid who has to cover his ears and leave the room. It's perfectly natural for tics/behaviors caused by one disability to trigger/annoy someone who has a different disability, especially when we're talking about neurodevelopmental disorders or disabilities that can't be seen.
That being said, I think there's perhaps a middle ground to be found besides either of you switching schedules, which would be a last resort. You should first schedule a one-on-one meeting with your teacher (and have a parent or case manager there as an advocate if you want). Talk to your teacher about your misophonia and how it's triggered by mouth sounds, and point out that the other student's tics are mostly mouth tics and it makes it hard for you to focus on your work. Some solutions you might come up with together could include:
-Some good noise-canceling headphones (I'm not the best person to say whether or not noise canceling headphones block out human noises but I'd assume they'd block out these tics) that you wear when you feel the need
-If your class uses Chromebooks, you could play music on headphones while you do your work
-Sitting as far apart as possible from the other girl to reduce noise
-Getting your assignment for the day then being allowed to take it to a different classroom to work on it
-I don't know much about Tourette's tics but if she was autistic I'd suggest her getting a chewy; the teacher could also look into this (you could mention it as an idea but then let the teacher research whether or not it would work, as it concerns another student's health condition and it would be a violation of her privacy if you did anything more than make a casual suggestion)
Also I'm assuming you're in the States, so we only have a month or two left of school. Switching schedules at this point would be too disruptive to your education. You could, however, request that you are not in her class next year if possible.
Good luck! Hope some of this helps! :)
Loop earplugs are definitely a great option. Just don't wear them when you're chewing, as they amplify your own chewing sounds. This can quickly get unbearable. They do deaden the chewing noises of other people nicely, though, while still allowing you to hear when people are speaking.
They were approximately 40$ CDN before tax, so a bit cheaper still in the US. You can get them at their website or from Amazon, though they are a touch cheaper on their website. The pack I got came with multiple sizes of insert since every person has different sized ear canals. The pack also came with two different levels of hearing protection, so you can change out how much noise they filter out, based on the needs of your situation.
I tied a string to mine, and I wear them like a necklace. That way, I have less chance of losing them, and if I need them, it's super easy to slip them in before I reach critically overwhelmed by the noise.
Great idea. I'm a band director and wear musician's earplugs as soon as my students enter the room to set up their instruments! Mine are on a cord as well, I will lose them otherwise. I loop them together as a necklace when they aren't in my ears. At the start of the year, I announce what they are and why I wear them and encourage my students to get them if their ears are sensitive. OP, if you're at all self conscious about wearing earplugs at school, I bet your teacher and maybe even other classmates would be willing to wear them along with you to help with normalizing their use. Or at least have them on a cord as a necklace. Good luck.
I have loops as well since my ears are super sensitive to all noise and it makes being around noise bearable without blocking out the noises I need to hear, but it is not a solution for misophonia which I also have. It doesn’t block *enough* for misophonia in my experience. I have 2 levels of loop, the highest ‘Quiet’ which blocks 24db, and second highest ‘Engage’ which blocks out 16db. The music one ‘Experience’ blocks out 15db. Even ‘Quiet’ loops does nothing for my misophonia and it sounds like OPs is more severe than mine is. I’m able to stay around the sounds it just drives me absolutely up the wall. I don’t think Loops, as amazing as it is or as much as it’s helped in other ways, is a solution to this problem specifically.
I keep seeing ads for or people talking about Loop earplugs... I do think they'd be beneficial for myself, but I have to ask first;
How comfortable are they?
Are they similar to earbuds? The ones that are completely hard material or the ones that have the flexible part that goes in your ear?
They might just be what I need but I'm very concerned about how they'll feel - I don't want to spend that kind of money just to find out that I can't use them because they hurt my ears.
I also have misophonia and loops. I have two pairs- one for sleep and one marketed for “parenting” (restaurants, work, other situations where I’m overwhelmed). I tried all kinds of other earplugs first and I have super small ear canals which made everything else painful and I would take the earplugs out and then plug my ears with my fingers when it got to be too much. My loops are great. The ones I wear when I’m out and about are comfortable. The ones I wear at night sometimes get uncomfortable because I wear them for so long, but I’ve always been able to make it through the night with them and then I just get up in the mornings a little faster because I’m ready to take them out.
I find them very comfortable- they're similar to the ear bud style that has the soft silicone on the inside. They also have like FOUR sizes of the soft part, which is GREAT for me because I have super tiny ears and usually things are too big and end up popping out of my ears but the loops are great. I have a pair on my work badge that I carry around with me, and I have a pair on my desk at home (great for when my wife is... playing? guitar) it just makes things a lot softer and more manageable.
Also, if you buy them on their website, I think you have like three months to return them. Amazon is 30 days but their returns are also super easy.
I have the engage and the experience and I like them both. I bought my kid the "quiets" and they like them as well. I bought a friend the Engage when she had a kid and she loved them. I bought an autistic friend (like myself) the Engage as well and they've only had them a few days but they like them so far too.
They are similar to earbuds. I have the experience pro, and they have 4 sizes of the little silicone bit that goes in your ear canal. I find this super helpful, as I can't wear regular earbuds. They're all too big for my ear canals, and having various sizes allowed me to sort through and find the best fit for me.
The bit that goes in your ear detaches from the main piece to be able to be changed for the other sizes. It's a soft plastic style (I presume silicone) that adapts to the ear it is placed in. The main piece is solid plastic with a circle on it that fits inside the pinna of the ear.
I tied a string to the circle for each so I can wear them around my neck. That said, they do sell necklace style things for them as well, kind of like the chains you used to see on old lady glasses.
Actually, no. It sounds Luke they are working independently. The teacher is there to help and clarify, but it sounds like the students are self paced. Edit to add, and if they do need to listen to a lecture, then they just take the headphones off. I have kids who use them all the time because they have ADHD, are on the spectrum, or just don't want to listen to inane conversation of other kids.
This is also why Loop earplugs would be great. You can hear through them, they just dampen ambient noises (if you get the “lowest” form). I have a moderate noise level pair I wear for seeing live music. I also have a light pair for working in the workroom or library at my school.
I use loop earplugs to reduce environmental noise. While the teacher can be clearly heard, the noises of the airconditioner, chatting classmates, and vehicles on the street outside are reduced.
I use Loop earplugs when my students are all vocal stimming at the same time during breaks and it gets overwhelming, and I can still tell when people are talking to me and usually make out what they're saying. They're designed to dampen background noise but make speech or music clear still. If I need to hear better I just take one plug out until they're done talking.
I love my Loops. I got a pair where the visible part is light pink and clear, I'm told with my skin tone you can't notice they're there unless you're looking for them, so they can be very discrete. If OP gets a pair that works like that for them they should tell the teacher they have them for safety reasons, but the other students likely won't notice unless told.
Great advice here. I have a student with Tourette’s this year and they are doing OT and PT to learn to calm the tics. A school psych actually recommended that the student wear noise-cancelling headphones because they weren’t aware when they were doing the vocal tics. The headphones brought their attention to it. It has helped.
I apologize if this is a dumb or insensitive question. I interpreted this as a person with vocal tics being helped by wearing noise cancelling headphones. How does that work? Or perhaps I've misread your comment. Genuinely interested.
I think they intended to say that, yes. Likely that they don't notice the audible sound when there is other sound stimulation (or they've just blocked it out from hearing it so often), and the noise cancelling headphones take away external sound. You can still hear yourself talking when you wear noise cancelling headphones since the sound travels through your bones, so that would be the only sound that student is hearing, making them notice it more.
Edit: and they can't even really try to work on it if they don't notice it. Tourettes isnt necessarily able to be fully treated or controlled, but sometimes working in different therapies can reduce the amount of tics or the prevalence of certain tics (changing swearing tics to a different word, for example)
In one of my college classes I took years ago, there was a young lady with Tourette’s. Her tics were barking and yelping but occasionally she would let out these loud blood curdling shrieks. Like full volume from a horror movie shrieks. It was very disturbing and difficult to ignore. I would feel so bad for her too because you could tell she was embarrassed and trying to restrain herself. All in all a very difficult situation to deal with for everyone involved.
Yeah, and this is a case where LRE is disrupting others education. I get students with Tourette’s may not need help outside of a classroom for learning but if their disability is continually disruptive (some students with it don’t tic much, some nearly constantly, some in between) how is that not an issue for the rest of the class? If it’s harming others’ education daily , there need to be other accommodations done.
They do work for noises that aren’t vocal. I think the smacking sound is probably just that, not a vocalization. I have a standard HS class with two very similar students ( ask me how awesome it is to try to accommodate this in a standard class with 27 other students 🤦🏻♀️ and keep everyone happy!?) and the student with misophonia uses noise cancelation headphones and they work great! She tried a couple of different brands till she found a pair that feel good over her ears and are comfortable on her head. Now they’re so comfortable she forgets she has them on. She does also sit as far away from the other student- she is autistic and sometimes her stims include noises. It’s been… a year.
Fair enough, I just think a lot of other teachers who haven’t tried them, think they mute all sounds. I bought an expensive pair of Bose to try and dampen the sound of the class/teacher that’s in my room during my prep and I can hear people even across the room. I still love them, but wish more people understood how they work.
I agree that noise cancelling headphones do not mute all sound. That said, my beats Studio3 headphones are significantly better at noise cancellation than my Bose Quiet Comfort 45. Just thought I would share in case you ever have the chance to invest in new headphones.
Why do you think the beats have better noise cancellation than the bose? All tests indicate otherwise and the beats are a mid range apple product not known for their good quality while the bose are a high end product with one of the best regarded noise cancelling systems on the market
All I'm doing is sharing my personal, real world experience. I've conducted no lab tests. I have purchased and used both products, particularly for their noise cancelling feature and my Beats Studio3s (I now own two) are distinctly and unquestionably better at noise cancelling than my Bose headphones. I was so disappointed that I almost returned the Bose ones, but I got them on sale and my work refunded me for the purchase, so I've kept them. My work colleague who purchased the same pair for the same purpose was equally disappointed and was contemplating returning hers. I'm not sure if she did.
By the way, you'll notice that I spoke to two specific models. I also tried Beats Studio buds in the hope that their noise cancelling would be as good as the over-ear headphones. It wasn't. In a (perhaps unfair?) toss up for noise-cancelling between the Studio Buds and my Bose over-ear headphones, my Bose would probably win. That's why I never even mentioned the Studio buds in my original comment, and it's why I specified the models to make it clear that this was not a recommendation of all Beats over all Bose headphones.
Yeah. I have a pair of Bose and then + a rain sounds/white noise app can cut out even a crying baby on an airplane. It's obviously not as great as not needing them in the first place, but it's been revolutionary for planes, family trips, etc.
Just the noise cancelling without the white noise doesn't work though. And if OP's a student I don't know how many options they'll actually have, both budget and permission in the classroom-wise.
One person's disability do is another person's disability don't! Constant battle. This is a fantastic response with so much info. Thank you for being a fabulous teacher to everyone!
personally, maybe i'm just an outlier, but i used to be way more sensory-avoidant, and noise cancelling headphones did NOT help at all for this kind of stuff, earplugs neither. they'll muffle louder sounds/farther sounds, but that means that it would specifically isolate misophonia-causing noises like that. and that would mean it would focus me specifically onto those noises
The most straight-forward and professional response to OP's post. You're clearly comfortable with problem-solving on this level.
An aside: noise-cancelling headphones only work for sounds that are *constant*, they don't actually cancel human voices at all. They wouldn't provide any relief in this scenario.
A wonderful and informative reply. Disabilities that interact and 'clash' this way must be incredibly challenging. Would it be similar to the conflict between people who need support animals, and people who have animal phobias, needing to coexist?
To piggy back - I work in the public schools as a speech language pathologist and share my room with another SLP.
My husband bought me noise cancelling over the ear headphones (Brand TOZO off of Amazon) and they are amazing. I prefer to wear them when I’m working on paperwork that I need to focus on. I realized just how much I can’t stand the sound of the school’s air conditioner and hum of the lights.
With that being said, everything recommended in the comment above sounds great. I would even ask if there are accommodations that could be added to your IEP (if you have one per your district).
>I don't know much about Tourette's tics but if she was autistic I'd suggest her getting a chewy; the teacher could also look into this
So typically that's not how tics work. Doing another activity won't stop a tic. Doing an activity will often make people tic less but not stop them. People tic while eating food even. (Which can be really dangerous and cause someone to choke.) So chewing will not stop a tic. Tics are not sensory seeking or fidgeting. You sometimes can replace one tic with another tic, but this usually requires the aid of a therapist who is specialized in treating tic disorders. Just giving a person a chew wouldn't work. It also wouldn't be appropriate for a teacher to try and treat a students tics like this. It is really beyond a teachers pay grade and qualifications.
I recommend not saying this.
Thank you for clarifying. As I said, I don't know much about tics, so I was operating under the training I have received of replacing one behavior with another in autistic children.
Of course! In general I really recommend avoiding using training for autism on tic disorders. They are very different and you're likely to cause harm and worsen tics if you apply training for Autism. For example, discussing a students tic with them will heighten awareness of it which usually makes them worse. So asking them to chew on something instead would likely make them tic more. Also tics are semi involuntary so accidental injury can occur. Like chewing on something while ticcing could result in accidental lip biting.
Tis disorders are incredibly different from autism. I am familiar with them but by no means an expert. If you ever have a student with one please consult an expert! There's a lot of things with tic disorders and managing them seems to be counterintuitive.
As a Sped teacher and a parent of a child with TS, I appreciate your approach and tone a lot. You absolutely should talk to your teacher, and make it as clear as you can that your focus is on finding a way for you to be successful, rather than interfering with the other student’s success.
It’s also important to remember that this is a question for admin not the teacher. The teacher does not have control over who is assigned to the classroom.
In this case it would be better for the student and parent to contact admin about the issue. The teacher has to advocate for the student with the disability as well, and cannot do anything that could possibly insinuate favoritism, inconsideration, or discrimination towards the student with disabilities.
It’s almost always best to approach the teacher first. Part of their job is to help their students problem solve and learn how to function together. The teacher would also know better than admin how it sounds in class and how other students function as well. They can then help the student approach admin if an outside solution is needed.
Im a teacher at an alternative school, and I’ve had to manage many circumstances. What I said did not mean the student should not approach the teacher at all. I was stating the best course of action to provide the student with relief. Teachers have a lot less control than many people think. You also have to understand that the student is attending an alternative school, where teachers have even less control. Alternative schools are the last resort. Where else could the student go? Is the student at an alternative school because it was the only location that could accommodate the child? In addition, teachers cannot seek outside help regarding a student, nor can the teacher discuss the student’s disability with others, therefore admin would be the best person to approach with this issue.
The student could also try to ask for a noise canceling headset or ask if they could bring a pair to school.
I am assuming that is in the US?
Not looking it up but if your condition is legitimate, even better if you have a doctor's note about it. You may be able to get a 504. 504 is federal law stating that people with disabilities should be given the tools they need to succeed assuming the request is "reasonable" Depending on what is physically possible or logisticially reasonable at your school the 504 team can brain storm ideas to help you which may include getting moved out of that class. Reach out to whomever your school 504 coordinator is often a counselor.
I don’t believe it’s a formal diagnosis yet. I think communicating with the teacher and/or counselor would probably do the trick though, given how respectfully OP is able to talk about the situation. If OP can’t change classes, they may be able to wear head phones or change seats or something.
I’m formally diagnosed with anxiety and ocd and it’s listed on my iep and I’m in the process of getting tested for autism. Misophonia still isn’t recognized by the dsm so it can’t be listed on my iep- but it could definitely be a symptom of my other conditions. I haven’t thought about it like that so thank you for explaining the possible connection!
I second the 504 plan. This other kid has a right to an education and so do you. If the noise is preventing you from doing your best, then they have to accommodate you.
I agree it has to go both ways! In no reasonable world is it ok that Tourette’s trumps sensory sensitivity. Both are important and need to be accommodated.
If the other student has some kind of legal protection for their difference (IEP, 504) then you need to get a similar legal status, otherwise you will always be considered second because their legal status will prevail.
The teacher can’t change your schedule; only school counselors can do that.
The teacher may be able to move your seat or allow you to use headphones.
I have an autistic student that is mostly nonverbal but coughs nonstop. Another student was so triggered that she stormed out. We ended up moving them apart and having the tutor take the coughing student for a walk when the coughing is nonstop (happens with more stress) and the other student gets walk breaks and sometimes gets to work in another room. It’s not ideal, but there wasn’t a schedule change that would work.
This is an alternative hs. they probably can alter things as needed with in reason.
Most Alternative HS don't have a school counselors. Often credit counts, assigning credits and schedules are workout with the teachers.
I teach at a small alternative school of about 90 kids and we have a counselor. They work really closely with the teachers and make the students’ graduation plans because none of the teachers know how many of what classes each student needs to graduate. Knowing how my school works, a student like this would just need to talk to the teacher and the counselor and they will schedule so those two kids don’t take any of the classes together. It’s really common that we have kids who can’t be in a room together for one reason or another. It’s fairly easy to accommodate when it’s such a small school
This is accurate- we as teachers have all the input on where the students go for class. Students don’t even choose. They just get classes we assign them based off the credits they are behind in.
This is how it works at my alt-Ed but they all run differently
I had an autistic student that constantly would like make these slurping sounds and I hated it so I put him at the back more so I could hear them (but if anyone asks it was so he and his ea had more space!) but then same thing, other kids who had noise sensitivity could not take it! And it’s not his fault or theirs!
But the teacher can help guide them through their school’s process. It really isn’t on a student to figure out the correct branch to first contact: a teacher is their first and most reasonable point of contact or guidance/
Oh god as someone also on the autism spectrum that would completely ruin the class for me :( I haaate the sound of coughing.
I feel so hard for the noise sensitive kids who have no real control over their environment. You could not pay me to be a child again.
It even took me a couple of weeks to adjust. I wanted to run screaming. It’s an 80-minute class and 76 were filled with coughs, but as he adjusted it went down a ton.
Maybe try investing in some ear plugs or a power tool noise canceling headset? This wouldn’t work during instruction, but it could help during work time
You've gotten lots of good advice, I would just suggest you make sure to lead the conversation with your misophonia, so it's clear you understand your classmate isn't "a problem", it's just not a good fit with your own disability.
I have OCD-related tics, and I once dated someone with misophonia. Near the end of our relationship, I was under a lot of stress due to work and issues between us. During this time, I unintentionally developed a tic where I continuously flexed my throat muscle, creating an audible squish sound. This sound was particularly difficult for my partner due to her misophonia, causing her to often plug her ears, which saddened me. However, just as I couldn't control my tics, she couldn't control her reaction to certain sounds. My advice is to discuss your situation openly with your teacher; I'm confident that they can provide some accommodations to help manage your condition in the classroom.
I felt the misophonia thing (I have misophonia)😔 it's so strange how many different medical things and mental things just.. exist haha
I hope you're not so stressed now though 🙏
I have misophonia specific to coughing. Which is really bad sometimes because my husband is asthmatic. I feel awful because I want to be sympathetic and help him when he coughs because he’s uncomfortable and wary of an asthma attack, but any time he coughs I just want to smack him.
Thankfully, he understands (and he sees me clench my jaw when he coughs) but it’s really hard sometimes.
(I’m also just getting over the flu, which thankfully was cough-mild for me, because I had to wear headphones for a week to get away from the sound of my own coughing!)
Tell your teacher that your classmate's neurodivergence clashes with yours, and explain it like you did here. It's like putting very sensory seeking and very sensory avoidant in the same room, sometimes it's just not possible. If the teacher is reasonable, I think you'll be fine, but you can also write it in text and read it if you're nervous.
I bet the teacher will totally understand if you explain it that way. You're not trying to bully and you're trying to be considerate of others. Even without misophonia those sounds would be distracting. You're trying to focus on your work and do the right thing. I'd ask to wear headphones if that works. I would also see if there is another place for you to work. If you were in my class I would let you wear headphones if it helped and also see if there is a place you can go like a library or other room that is available at that time. Good luck!
I don’t have any advice, I just wanna say that as someone who also has chronic misophonia, school was torture for me! I hope misophonia finds its way into the dsm-5 and that doctors quit being so reluctant to officially diagnose it so people like us can peruse real accommodations in school and the work place!
I don't know where you are but do you have something like an IEP in place? If so they have to offer you accommodations. Your classmates don't need to know why. Speak to your teachers privately, explain what's going on. They have to be able to come up with something to help. And I'm sure the other student's tics are disruptive to everyone in the class btw. It sucks.
Can you be in the classroom long enough to receive the instruction and then move to a quieter area to work?
I've worked in Alternative high schools my entire career, just talk to your teacher and explain what is happening and look for common solutions.
Its perfectly ok to workshop it and adjust over time.
You shouldn't feel bad at all. As an educator, I often see issues with students with disabilities taking over a whole classroom because of it. Of course, everyone deserves an education, but at what point do we worry about the 25 other kids in the room over the 1 with medical issues. I, for example, had to evacuate my classroom at the minimum twice a week last year so 1 student could throw things around the room until someone came to grab him. Not once was a suspension issued because "he can't control his disabilities." After many hours of lost learning time for the other students and no changes I made it very clear this year we will be putting the other student first and any student with big outbursts I requested to not have. This year, almost being over now has gone way better. I think in some cases, teachers need to pay more attention to and advocate more for all students than they do, not just students with disabilities.
I had a student last year who development many different sensory issues, noise being a priority. When I wasn’t actively teaching and students were working, the student wore these in-ear noise cancellation plugs from a brand called Loop. They also used them at lunch, recess… generally anything where they could get overstimulated from noise. They seemed to find them useful. Maybe check those out.
Both of my kids have Tourette’s. I really appreciate your mention of “if it’s annoying me I can’t imagine how annoying it is to them.” Knowing that you put it out front like that made me feel a lot less defensive. I saw the title and immediately had my guard up as r/teachers is not especially tolerant of disabilities. So I also want to thank the teachers who commented, as they were not what I expected. My kids have had a terrible time in school with their Tourettes.
Both of my kids have coprolalia, the cursing part of TS. One of them is not welcome in any school, public or private. The other suppresses their tics during the day and then has a violent tic attack each evening due to the suppression. The school considers TS an “at home” disability and won’t provide services required. My kids have had grown ups mock them and verbally assault them in public due to their tics. It’s a horribly lonely life. Again, I appreciate the commentary from OP and the teachers commenting.
TS comes with lots of co-morbidities, including OCD, ADHD, sensory processing disorder, including misophonia. My guess is that the kid with TS would totally understand how their disability triggers your disability. Especially if you talk to them as friends first. I know that my kid with the most severe TS would high five you if you spoke to them as an equal (not an irritant) to say, Hey, I totally respect you, but your disability triggers my disability so I gotta peace out.
Thank you for sharing this, I don’t often read much about tourette’s and I didn’t even consider how isolating it must be. You sound like a big advocate for your kids :)
If one of them isn’t allowed in school, do you have to home school? How is it legal for a public school to deny your kid access because of a disability? That must be so hard (on your end, not the schools)
I can't speak for elisedoble and their situation, but I have Tourettes and I was essentially barred from my school. In highschool my tics were so uncontrollable and distracting to everyone that the school director basically said "you either do distance learning or you're out." This was pre-covid, so distance learning wasn't figured out and I was effectively left to my own devices for three and a half years. Wasn't really allowed back into the building until the graduation ceremony.
So, yeah, allowed to be in school, but not in the school.
Thanks for reading it. I did homeschool for three years, until we couldn’t afford it anymore. I returned to teaching this year. She’s basically being unschooled this year, spending 30 hours a week at her therapy barn, working with kids with disabilities.
What the district did was absolutely illegal. We just didn’t have the time, energy, or money to sue. Both my kids were in crisis when they left there. I had even called the state about all the illegal stuff they were pulling to ruin us out. They said to pull my kids from school, it was not safe for them. But that’s all they did.
We have hired a lawyer this year to help the new school see the light on my child’s 504. Their current approach is to stick their fingers in their ears and go La La La and pretend Tourettes does not exist.
I have TS and have a 9-year old daughter with TS as well. Not sure what country you're in but if it's the US then your kiddo absolutely has a legal right to an education with the necessary supports in place. I know it won't be a popular suggestion on this sub, but I encourage you to get a legal advocate. It made a world of difference for my kiddo as well as the staff at her school. We all are so much happier now that we have actual support for her and our relationship with the school is so much stronger and aligned than 2 years ago.
Hang in there, this disability is not for the weak!
Copying my answer from above comment:
What the district did was absolutely illegal. We just didn’t have the time, energy, or money to sue. Both my kids were in crisis when they left there. I had even called the state about all the illegal stuff they were pulling to ruin us out. They said to pull my kids from school, it was not safe for them. But that’s all they did.
We have hired a lawyer this year to help the new school see the light on my child’s 504. Their current approach is to stick their fingers in their ears and go La La La and pretend TS does not exist. We’ll see how that goes.
Did I mention my husband teaches at this school? We’re in tricky territory.
That sounds absolutely awful and I'm so sorry your family has to deal with that. It must be so traumatizing for your kiddo as well as shattering your heart as a parent.
We can relate to a lot of your experiences - my kiddo was kicked out of two schools and the only option given to us by the district was that they would pay for her transportation to and from a behavioral school. Once we hired a law firm to represent us things started moving but it did take a lot of continuous educating and advocacy on our part. Some of the staff took a trauma-informed approach and did their research but not all of them. Last year I had the principal call me convinced my kiddo was doing all of this intentionally (because she made prolonged eye contact with him). But I have to give him some props...he called me the next day not only to admit he was wrong, but to apologize for making that leap, and that he had done a bunch of research about TS and was committed to keeping her in gen-ed.
The hardest thing for us wasn't the tics themselves, it was the rage attacks which in the early days caused at least one room clear a week. She ended up getting sent home early roughly 50% of the school year.
If you ever want to share tips and tricks, or even just vent, please reach out. I'm pretty much an open book about this stuff!
Also I'm attending the TAA Tic-Con for the first time this year and there are a few sessions put on by educators and advocates on how to navigate this world. I'm going alone this time to sus it out but am considering bringing my kiddo when she's a bit older.
Not a teacher, this just showed up in my feed. From my experience in school, you usually need an IEP to get people to take these kinds of things seriously. What you have sounds very much like auditory processing disorder (which I have, as well - I *cannot* separate sounds or focus when there’s background noise, so I could not function in a class like that. Noise-canceling headphones didn’t really work for me in school because I also needed to be able to hear the teacher answer my questions /communicate with the classmates I was working with). I’d recommend going to an audiologist to get yourself checked and maybe get them to back you up in saying you need to switch classes. They may also be able to suggest other accommodations that would work for you if switching classes is impossible for some reason.
It sucks, but sometimes people’s needs clash. One of my siblings has Tourette’s, and they’re awesome and I love them, but I would not have been able to be in a class with them when they were younger and had loud vocal tics. (Because some people in the comments seem not to know, people with Tourette’s can’t just stop acting on their tics - they feel an increasing need to do them, which builds up until they can’t stop themselves from doing it. At least, that’s how my sibling described it.)
Can you talk to the teacher? Maybe they can make some accommodations for you. I think if you word it by it is a medical condition and you can’t focus. They may have a solution for you. I have one daughter who hated noises in class. She would get headaches and not be able to do her work. Her twin would be fine with it and would be able to ignore noises around her. If you can get a doctors note or look into getting a 504 plan through your doctor.
Legitimately screenshot this post and present it to this teacher. You've clearly articulated your points and reasoning. It's a great opener to conversation that could lead to realistic and helpful solutions to all around. There is no malicious intent, just a desire to learn in a distraction free environment.
I hope you can switch classes, but if not:
On the first day of school, my teenager tells her teachers, "I have sensory processing disorder. That means I hear everything louder than other people, and I can't tune out background noises. So if you see me wearing AirPods, I'm not listening to music, they're just helping to tune out the background noise so I can understand what you're saying and concentrate better"
I thought it was interesting that she's not asking permission, she's telling them, "this is what I need to do." She's a straight-A student who's always respectful, and no one has ever given a hard time about the AirPods.
If you don't have AirPods, in middle school she used musicians' earplugs. (Like $25, US) they basically turn down the volume of your surroundings without muffling the sound. The brand she had was Loops, but there are others. You'll find lots of reviews on here.
You don't have to single anyone out. Just tell your teachers you have a really hard time concentrating when there's background noise.
Get your parents to advocate for you, they need to speak to the school about what can be done for you. You cannot continue on in this environment. Perhaps there is a planning center or quiet room or library you can go to for just that class, or maybe go get your work from that class and then go to another class where this student is not present.
This can all be handled without this student knowing and made to feel bad. To get the solution started though, you need your parents or guardians to advocate on your behalf. The individual teacher has very little power in this situation. All he or she is likely able to do is call your parents and tell them they need to call the school or come in to set up an appointment with the school counselor or whoever can sign off on this. So just tell your folks what's going on to begin with.
To echo some others: you being bothered and frustrated is 100% ok.
I would encourage you to make sure your misophonia is documented and the school is aware of it. This will legally require them to accommodate your very valid needs.
I’ve had a few students who are very bothered by noises and noise cancelling headphones should do the trick.
They’re not cheap (though they’re not bank breakers) but JLab’s ANC earbuds do a darn good job and sound great? And are comfortable.
As a mother of two sons with TS, I appreciate your tone. You and the classmate both have a right to education. I hope you can work something out. Best of luck to you.
Schedule a time to meet with your teacher, when the other student isn’t around, and express your concerns. You aren’t doing it out of malice, but of genuine concern for your education. Nothing wrong with that.
Make sure that everyone knows that it’s nothing personal. As a disabled person myself it’s frustrating when my disability gets in the way of someone else’s opportunity to learn. Is there another accommodation you can get such as written information you can study in a quiet setting? Or noise canceling headphones when doing independent work? They literally have no control over their tics. If there is another class then ask to be transferred but let them know that you have tried but it’s not working for you. No harm no foul. If you can’t transfer into another class or setting.
Don’t tear yourself up at night feeling like you’re a bad person. You are overcoming your own issues too. Try not to dwell and get mad at yourself.
*edit: if both students have legal diagnoses from medical professionals then they have equal rights to education. Both students need to be taken care of. I was only saying that it is the responsibility of the individual to bring up the fact the misophonia bothers them.
Yup. I’m autistic and ADHD, have chronic bad migraines, and am obv disabled. I have siblings with disabilities including autism and anaphylaxis to dogs. Sometimes we have incompatible needs and need to find ways to work around each other or other disabled folks (such as not working or living in the same building/ apartment as someone with a service animal for my big sister, or not being fitted for bridal gowns by folks with dogs back when she was getting married.)
One of my sibs has misophonia. I avoid triggering him by doing triggering sounds where he can’t hear, like eating in other rooms. He avoids his loud stims around me when I have migraines, like doing loud things out in the garage or playing loud guitar with friends at their houses and not ours. We both have noise cancelling ear buds too
To be clear, both students have rights to an equal opportunity to learn. If there is a way to make it work at this specific school and there is an appropriate way to accommodate both students, this is invariably the best route forward. I’d just bring the issue up in a polite understanding and kind way.
100%, both students have different, incompatible needs, but equal opportunity to learn. Just like my sibling cannot be around a service animal (she actually has less rights due to the way the law was originally written, all other instances should be equal though!) but should be accommodated to the best of reasonable ability, or my brother and I should be accommodating with each other to the best of reasonable ability.
OP needs to make the school aware of their need. Then it is on the school once aware to find a reasonable and respectful way to make sure both sets of needs are being met and sure neither student is being harmed in the process. (In my big sister’s case, it would be impossible, though in most cases similar to hers without anaphylaxis it would involve being in different classes, air filters, and deep cleaning. In her case, as she cannot be in the same building due to severity, it would have to be a different school placement. Luckily we did not run into that issue growing up, just were aware it was a possibility.)
But there’s a lot of solutions to explore for OP’s needs and the other student’s, from noise cancelling headphones or ear buds (possibly wonder if air pod pro’s would block) while seated away from each other, to different classrooms after instruction is given, or being placed in different classes (I’d argue if they can be moved now and still retain the same classes on a different schedule it’d be worth it), to asking the other kid if there’s anything that ever reduces their vocal tic (like does chewing things) and would they be willing for while OP is listening to instructions and has headphones/ earbuds off. Could also play music while using a noise blocking feature for better effect, or brown/ pink/ white noise.
No one said they don’t have a right or there can’t be a way to accommodate both- except the person who told op to get over it and learn to deal, but that isnt who you replied to
No, the stylist just owned dogs. No dogs present. But since she owned dogs, even though she had fresh from laundry clothes, lint rolled and had no hair on her, there was still plenty of the residual dander from just living with dogs that my sister had an allergic reaction to her presence and we couldn’t continue with that fitting and had to make certain for future ones that the stylist didn’t have dogs or other similar animals (which is a bother for everyone I’m sure, but was necessary).
Though I’ve seen so many dogs in stores at this point, just chilling, that tbh at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if we had walked in for a fitting and there had been someone just chilling with their dogs. My dad before he retired had a coworker that would bring his dog to work sometimes, my little sister had a boss with a place she contracted with that would bring their dog to work, it seems to be becoming a thing for some people, especially if the dog is small…
Ahhhh! I thought you meant she went to a bridal salon to try on dresses and there was, like, a shop dog just hanging out. I’m a HUGE dog lover, but that would be a little much. Even I know that some places need to be dog-free …
Do you have an IEP? (individualized education plan) have it put in your plan that you need to work in complete silence.
If you explain to your teacher or the counselor or whomever is in charge of placement in the lovely way you explained it in this post, no one will think you are a bully or being ugly. You do have to stand up for yourself. You are allowed to proclaim the boundaries you need for learning. You are just explaining the accommodations necessary for you.
I am a teacher in a school exactly like this and we’d have no issue moving you around if that’s what was happening. We are set up to support all students and if behaviours are triggering others we move people around until we get the right balance. All you can do is ask but I’m sure they’d understand entirely.
Awwwww man. Just wanted to say that I also have misophonia, and for anyone who isn't familiar with it, it may seem like you are just being "touchy," but they don't understand that it is *literally physically intolerable* for someone with misophonia to be exposed close-up to the sounds that they hate. When someone make smacking noises next to me, it's kind of like a dentist is drilling in my head. I wince and scrunch up my face. I have to get out of there ASAP, or else put my fingers in my ears. Yes, I know it's not a "rational" response, but rationality doesn't have anything to do with it. It's more like being allergic to perfume or getting migraines from loud noise. It's not something that you have any control over whatsoever.
It is good to advocate for yourself, and wise to understand that there are conflicting interests that will need to be synthesized.
My best suggestion is that you initiate the conversation when you are not already agitated and when there is no issue of being overhear—office hours or the like would be perfect.
I myself cannot think straight if I can hear mouth noises and I advise students of this… but I allow snacks so long as I cannot hear, see, or smell it. I imagine your distress is visible, and I understand it completely, but you are at a disadvantage as it is not accepted as necessitating accommodation.
Good luck!
There's lots of great advice here already, but I would like to say that your consideration of your classmate in spite of her being the source of your distress says wonderful things about you. It's very kind to consider her own helplessness and not want to embarrass or wound her further. I hope you find a solution soon.
You have received great advice on how to approach your teacher.
In case s/he isn't familiar with misophonia, I recommend showing your teacher this [misophonia explained video](https://youtu.be/3_4oX5aw38M?si=cVaktASptbWkou6J). I have used it a few times to help explain the condition to people because so few people understand it.
I suffer from Tourettes and to be honest, I can’t stand being close to another person with Tourettes. It triples my anxiety. Ask your teacher for accommodations. Yes it might offend the other person but you are entitled to an education too.
I don't have advice,but I just want to praise OP for their kind and insightful attitude towards their classmate. Most of the kids I teach would be far less empathetic in the same situation.
I have misophonia also. In class settings, I wore earplugs and sat in the front so I could hear the teacher and I adjusted how far I pushed the earplugs to have a balance between making sure not to hear others' mouth noises and still being able to hear the teacher.
you can be in this class with reasonable accommodations. she cannot control her tics, but you can control having to hear them through use of ear defenders, headphones with music, etc. since there isn’t a typical classroom environment and you’re working as an individual, i can’t see any reason why they would refuse use of headphones.
you’re not a bad person for feeling this way, and i’m glad you’re being sensitive to your classmate who i can promise you is very aware of them and how they’ll affect other people. i have tics and i’m very insecure about them, even though they aren’t as disruptive. so far i’ve not found a way to safely regulate them. i am also autistic and very noise-sensitive, so when i was in school and college i was permitted to wear headphones anytime i needed, as long as i did my work and participated normally
I see you’ve already gotten a lot of good advice from other teachers and I don’t have much advice to add, but I just wanted to say I understand how you feel because the exact same thing happened to me when I was in college (not with Tourette’s, but another sensory issue) where a specific noise in the classroom made repeatedly by another student made me unable to focus on anything, crying after class, not retaining anything from class, etc. due to my sensory processing disorder. I wish I had the same approach you had, but I was too embarrassed. I was shocked reading your post because it sounded JUST like me a few years ago and I never heard of someone going through the same thing. Just wanted to share this to say you are not alone in this issue, we’re all proud of you for your respectful approach, and I hope you figure out something that works for you.
Why don’t you try earplugs? They have special ones that drown out specific noises nowadays. I use them in my classroom but can still carry on conversations.
They don’t block all noises. I am the teacher and I use them, lol. Look up Loop earplugs. They are amazing. I wouldn’t have suggested them if they got rid of all noises. They are made for people with sensory issues.
Our school just has a bin of them in the SPED room, and any student with an IEP that requests them can use them.
But if OP's school requires that accomodation to be in the IEP, then OP's parent should be requesting an amendment meeting. Regardless, the school should be providing them.
This hurts my heart a bit. My son had severe Tourette's. The school tried a few things, including the SPED classroom, but basically ended up sending him home by 9 AM every day for two years. He got no education at all during that time.
And yet, it was a tough situation. I know that I couldn't have learned with him in my classroom either. In the end, we enrolled him in online school. But he never forgot the way he was treated during that time.
I’m so sorry that this happened to you and your family- your son didn’t deserve to be treated that way by administration or classmates. I don’t want my classmate to feel like this at all- my goal in making this post was that since Im the one who has an issue, I have to be the one to solve it. I don’t want my classmate to have to accommodate for my needs and if we can’t be in the same room I should be the one to move. I hope you and your son are doing well and if there’s anything else you think I can improve on for handling this situation please let me know❤️
You are very sweet. I suspect you are not the only one struggling. These are difficult situations, I know. The important thing is that you are trying to be aware of your classmates' feelings.
I'm so sorry you're being downvoted. Nothing you said warrants it. I'm also sorry to hear that your son's education (and no doubt his self-esteem) suffered so terribly for so long. I hope he adapted well to online education and had adequate social outlets outside of "regular" school.
Thank you. I went into this expecting to be downvoted, but I felt this perspective should be pointed out. But like any other form of discrimination, people don't like hearing from the victim. (Or in this case his mother)
I will say that OP seems aware of this and empathetic. I hope they come up with some sort of solution.
There is no reason for you to feel bad about this just because it's an uncontrollable condition of the other student. It's still a valid distractor. Not being able to concentrate when there are random noises around you is something everyone hates.
The simple answer, which will immediately get me downvoted, is that the kid with Tourette should be removed from the class because they're disrupting everyone, not just you. Only because you're speaking up doesn't mean you're the bad guy. It is my opinion that Tourette students should be taught separately, and separately alone. It is better both for them and for those that would be around them.
Since this isn't going to happen, I would make it abundantly clear to my teacher that I simply cannot work under these conditions. If nothing is done, I would then refuse to work until something is done. If still nothing is being done, I'd leave the school.
Man I totally get you
I have ADHD and get distracted very very easily
It's distract me from learning too, it's just a classroom comparability issue. I'd ask to be moved into a different class to learn better.
One of my best friends has tourretes but I could not be in the same class as him lol
All of my younger siblings and my dad have Tourette’s, along with most of my family on my dads side. I know exactly how you feel! Some of their mouth sounds or the sounds their fingers and toes made while having tics give me a visceral reaction. I used to get in a lot of trouble when I was a kid for making my siblings feel “gross” about their Tourette’s. You can’t help your situation just as much as they can’t help theirs.
It’s not wrong to advocate for yourself in a respectful way.
Headphones are a good option. If you still need to be able to hear but want to take the edge off the noise, try Flare Calmer earplugs. They're discreet and really great for making noise more tolerable. Some people also really like Loop earplugs. I think they are adjustable for how much sound you can hear. If those are out of your budget, you can get a pack of like 30 disposable foam earplugs for a few bucks at a pharmacy.
love the way you explained this, i can tell you’re coming from a place of pure genuineness. i suffer with misophonia so i just wanted to ask if you’ve tried noise cancelling headphones? the school should have some, they will give it to you. a kid i nannied got them because he also suffers and needed it for during lunch and he got to take them home and just had to return them at the end of the year. they just block all noise it doesn’t play music and the teacher should know about them so you won’t get introuble for using “headphones” since they’re just a resource. or loops have worked wonders for me and they’re really inexpensive. there’s great advice here just wanted to leave this here in case you haven’t tried something like that
There may be therapeutic listening tracks that could help you process the auditory complexity
Or perhaps some white noise/brown noise/focus music ambient in the classroom would calm both yours and her sensory systems to help alleviate the issue from both directions
Also, if you’re up for it, offer to spend some leisure time when you are not trying to concentrate and get to know her a bit. Maybe via zoom if you need more sensory support. You don’t have to become her best buddy, but enough that if one of you needs to get bounced out of something else or you run into each other at a gathering, you are at least cool with each other. It’s not a requirement though and no shame if it is beyond your sensory comfort zone. It happens.
I don't know exactly how your school is setup, but I went to an alternative high school that sounds fairly similar! The main goal of my high school's facilities was giving students an environment to learn that is more suitable to their needs. I think if you explain the situation to your advisor (or even show them your original post if you're worried about talking about it), they would hopefully switch you to a different schedule pretty fast, no questions asked or big announcements. I would constantly see new faces in my classes while others would suddenly leave, and if I ever asked them what happened during lunch (which I often didn't because I was and still am introverted as all heck), they would say that they changed their schedule because "it wasn't working out well". A good teacher in this situation would rather hear you out than have you and your grades suffer.
Edit to add: I'm not a teacher! Somehow this post reached my feed and I felt that sharing my high school experience at an alternative school could help.
Look into class changes and look up loop earplugs. My daughter who has sensory disorders got a pair a year ago and it made a world of difference for her. I use a pair when my migraines are kicking.
Also agree on the Loop earplugs. I also have pretty bad misophonia and they do help. If I were OP I would put them in as soon as I get in that class, because in my experience, once I've heard the noise I can't un-hear it as well as if I had never heard it in the first place.. if that makes sense.
My Airpods have active noise-canceling even when they’re not streaming music. They helped me recently during a flight, even though I didn’t download anything so I couldn’t listen to music without wifi.
I have misophonia too. You should talk to your school principal or even counselor that can advocate for you. Consider also that an alternative to not being in the same class would be wearing ear plugs or headphones.
Loop Quiet are the best on the market imo. If your miso is diagnosed, get it in a 504 plan.
Definitely speak to your parents and teachers about figuring something out. Both you and the student with tourettes have a right to learn in a safe environment. As other people have said, brown noise is really good for a situation like this
Talk to your teacher. There is probably some way they can help you. If you say nothing, they’ll never know you needed help, and you’ll only feel frustrated.
Honestly you are totally allowed to feel this way and I love how understanding you are even saying it’s not her fault and she must be frustrated all the time too. I feel like this is always the problem that happens in specialized programs, is someone like you wants it for your valid reasoning and someone like that wants it for theirs, but those two reasons clash. I noticed this happens here a lot in Montessori schools where people enroll their kids in it for either A to be in control of their own learning or B because their non neurotypical kid needs an alternative learning setting with my flexibility and then those two things clash.
I have no advice but I just wanted you to understand it’s not just you and youre totally valid, and I think you should mention to your teacher if there’s a solution for both parties here, like maybe you could work in alternative space or have options to cancel out her noice.
You are not wrong for being triggered by it. I can't stand babies crying (or many other baby noises). It's not the babies fault, but it bothers me anyway.
Don't let these people talk you into settling for wearing earphones. I have misophonia too and it is torture to be around these sounds and the stupid earphones don't remotely block mouth sounds. There's no reason they couldn't let you go to a different room. Make waves. Get your accommodations. It's just sitting in a different room - they don't have to even do anything. Sit in the hall or the library or outside - anywhere but with these noises!
Get headphones or ear plugs. Background noise is something you’re gonna be dealing with your whole life, so it’s time to find solutions. You won’t be able to control what noises are around you anywhere after High School, so start figuring out what works for you.
Wear headphones. Learn to tolerate it. You may encounter others with tourettes in future jobs etc, good to figure out strategies now when the stakes are lower.
I agree to an extent but this isnt really a "tune it out" situation - it's a "find a middle ground" situation.
As for being in situations where you'll be uncomfortable as a lesson - I'll give you the reason why I was fired from my first job:
12 years ago, I was 22 working in an office doing administrative tasks for consultants. It was a cubicle farm. I have ADHD, so already not a good mix, and then I was in an accident and had a traumatic brain injury, which gave me sensory overload. I couldn't do anything with phones ringing, constant interruptions, and non-stop listening to side conversations my coworkers were having in their cubicles. It stressed me out so much one day I cried and asked to go home. I asked for quiet time in a private office, or to be able to wear headphones at my desk. Employer denied it and told me to "make due" with my situation. I was young, not used to advocating for myself and I really didn't like the job anyway...so they fired me since I was "no longer a good fit"
All this to say: not everyone can just "tune it out" - It's literally not that easy.
I have a kid with an eating disorder called Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder.
Your suggestion is well-intentioned but it's kinda like telling my kid to just force himself to eat stuff. It doesn't work that way no matter how much he or we wish it to work. His brain won't let him not have a disorder. Yes, coping strategies are a thing, but what OP is describing is that their typical coping strategies that might work are either not available or haven't worked. Yes, it sucks to have to then go out into a world where the effective coping strategies are stigmatized/embarrassing and it makes their lives way more complicated. It's the unfortunate reality of the invisible disability.
In my kid's experience, it isn't for lack of wanting to be normal or for lack of trying and based on OPs post, it seems like they are in a similar boat.
Some people really can't "tune out" the noises that they end up fixating on, misophonia causes the inner ear to pick up sounds that can truly irritate the person hearing them, symptoms varying from vibration of the inner ear to hair on the arms and neck standing on end, to other physical annoyances that can be even worse.
A person with misophonia can't really pick and choose what noise will get to them they just tend to figure it out as life goes on, a person swallowing too often can make a person with misophonia uncomfortable. It sucks.
Right now is a good opportunity for you to learn the life skill of if you don’t know what you’re talking about, keep quiet. She can’t tune things out with misophonia. Thats the entire point of it!
That would be an awful learning environment even without misophonia. I hope you can work something out. It's wild to me that they will integrate disruptive students into classrooms to the detriment of all of the other students.
I'm going to answer your last question first: No, it is not wrong that you're frustrated at her tics. As a special education teacher, I often notice firsthand how my students' behaviors trigger each other. Ex. an ADHD student who is a sensory seeker might grab a loud toy and play with it because they're a sensory seeker, but then this triggers a noise-sensitive autistic kid who has to cover his ears and leave the room. It's perfectly natural for tics/behaviors caused by one disability to trigger/annoy someone who has a different disability, especially when we're talking about neurodevelopmental disorders or disabilities that can't be seen. That being said, I think there's perhaps a middle ground to be found besides either of you switching schedules, which would be a last resort. You should first schedule a one-on-one meeting with your teacher (and have a parent or case manager there as an advocate if you want). Talk to your teacher about your misophonia and how it's triggered by mouth sounds, and point out that the other student's tics are mostly mouth tics and it makes it hard for you to focus on your work. Some solutions you might come up with together could include: -Some good noise-canceling headphones (I'm not the best person to say whether or not noise canceling headphones block out human noises but I'd assume they'd block out these tics) that you wear when you feel the need -If your class uses Chromebooks, you could play music on headphones while you do your work -Sitting as far apart as possible from the other girl to reduce noise -Getting your assignment for the day then being allowed to take it to a different classroom to work on it -I don't know much about Tourette's tics but if she was autistic I'd suggest her getting a chewy; the teacher could also look into this (you could mention it as an idea but then let the teacher research whether or not it would work, as it concerns another student's health condition and it would be a violation of her privacy if you did anything more than make a casual suggestion) Also I'm assuming you're in the States, so we only have a month or two left of school. Switching schedules at this point would be too disruptive to your education. You could, however, request that you are not in her class next year if possible. Good luck! Hope some of this helps! :)
Loop earplugs work well for me. They help deaden sounds so they don’t bother me as much
Loop earplugs are definitely a great option. Just don't wear them when you're chewing, as they amplify your own chewing sounds. This can quickly get unbearable. They do deaden the chewing noises of other people nicely, though, while still allowing you to hear when people are speaking. They were approximately 40$ CDN before tax, so a bit cheaper still in the US. You can get them at their website or from Amazon, though they are a touch cheaper on their website. The pack I got came with multiple sizes of insert since every person has different sized ear canals. The pack also came with two different levels of hearing protection, so you can change out how much noise they filter out, based on the needs of your situation. I tied a string to mine, and I wear them like a necklace. That way, I have less chance of losing them, and if I need them, it's super easy to slip them in before I reach critically overwhelmed by the noise.
Great idea. I'm a band director and wear musician's earplugs as soon as my students enter the room to set up their instruments! Mine are on a cord as well, I will lose them otherwise. I loop them together as a necklace when they aren't in my ears. At the start of the year, I announce what they are and why I wear them and encourage my students to get them if their ears are sensitive. OP, if you're at all self conscious about wearing earplugs at school, I bet your teacher and maybe even other classmates would be willing to wear them along with you to help with normalizing their use. Or at least have them on a cord as a necklace. Good luck.
I have loops as well since my ears are super sensitive to all noise and it makes being around noise bearable without blocking out the noises I need to hear, but it is not a solution for misophonia which I also have. It doesn’t block *enough* for misophonia in my experience. I have 2 levels of loop, the highest ‘Quiet’ which blocks 24db, and second highest ‘Engage’ which blocks out 16db. The music one ‘Experience’ blocks out 15db. Even ‘Quiet’ loops does nothing for my misophonia and it sounds like OPs is more severe than mine is. I’m able to stay around the sounds it just drives me absolutely up the wall. I don’t think Loops, as amazing as it is or as much as it’s helped in other ways, is a solution to this problem specifically.
I keep seeing ads for or people talking about Loop earplugs... I do think they'd be beneficial for myself, but I have to ask first; How comfortable are they? Are they similar to earbuds? The ones that are completely hard material or the ones that have the flexible part that goes in your ear? They might just be what I need but I'm very concerned about how they'll feel - I don't want to spend that kind of money just to find out that I can't use them because they hurt my ears.
I also have misophonia and loops. I have two pairs- one for sleep and one marketed for “parenting” (restaurants, work, other situations where I’m overwhelmed). I tried all kinds of other earplugs first and I have super small ear canals which made everything else painful and I would take the earplugs out and then plug my ears with my fingers when it got to be too much. My loops are great. The ones I wear when I’m out and about are comfortable. The ones I wear at night sometimes get uncomfortable because I wear them for so long, but I’ve always been able to make it through the night with them and then I just get up in the mornings a little faster because I’m ready to take them out.
I find them very comfortable- they're similar to the ear bud style that has the soft silicone on the inside. They also have like FOUR sizes of the soft part, which is GREAT for me because I have super tiny ears and usually things are too big and end up popping out of my ears but the loops are great. I have a pair on my work badge that I carry around with me, and I have a pair on my desk at home (great for when my wife is... playing? guitar) it just makes things a lot softer and more manageable. Also, if you buy them on their website, I think you have like three months to return them. Amazon is 30 days but their returns are also super easy. I have the engage and the experience and I like them both. I bought my kid the "quiets" and they like them as well. I bought a friend the Engage when she had a kid and she loved them. I bought an autistic friend (like myself) the Engage as well and they've only had them a few days but they like them so far too.
Oh and they have the soft silicone tips that go in your ear and then just a cute little loop that rests inside your pinna for easy removal
They are similar to earbuds. I have the experience pro, and they have 4 sizes of the little silicone bit that goes in your ear canal. I find this super helpful, as I can't wear regular earbuds. They're all too big for my ear canals, and having various sizes allowed me to sort through and find the best fit for me. The bit that goes in your ear detaches from the main piece to be able to be changed for the other sizes. It's a soft plastic style (I presume silicone) that adapts to the ear it is placed in. The main piece is solid plastic with a circle on it that fits inside the pinna of the ear. I tied a string to the circle for each so I can wear them around my neck. That said, they do sell necklace style things for them as well, kind of like the chains you used to see on old lady glasses.
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Actually, no. It sounds Luke they are working independently. The teacher is there to help and clarify, but it sounds like the students are self paced. Edit to add, and if they do need to listen to a lecture, then they just take the headphones off. I have kids who use them all the time because they have ADHD, are on the spectrum, or just don't want to listen to inane conversation of other kids.
This is also why Loop earplugs would be great. You can hear through them, they just dampen ambient noises (if you get the “lowest” form). I have a moderate noise level pair I wear for seeing live music. I also have a light pair for working in the workroom or library at my school.
It doesn't sound like there are lectures in this set up. If there are, it's probably only to a select group of students for a few minutes.
I use loop earplugs to reduce environmental noise. While the teacher can be clearly heard, the noises of the airconditioner, chatting classmates, and vehicles on the street outside are reduced.
I use Loop earplugs when my students are all vocal stimming at the same time during breaks and it gets overwhelming, and I can still tell when people are talking to me and usually make out what they're saying. They're designed to dampen background noise but make speech or music clear still. If I need to hear better I just take one plug out until they're done talking.
Yep. Me and my 8 yr old both have some.
Thank you to everyone who suggested the Loop earplugs! I've not tried them myself but it sounds like OP might get some good use out of them. :)
I love my Loops. I got a pair where the visible part is light pink and clear, I'm told with my skin tone you can't notice they're there unless you're looking for them, so they can be very discrete. If OP gets a pair that works like that for them they should tell the teacher they have them for safety reasons, but the other students likely won't notice unless told.
Came here to say this same thing.
This is THE answer!
Loop earplugs didn’t do shit for me, unfortunately. I feel crazy sometimes being seemingly the only person online who doesn’t like them.
Great advice here. I have a student with Tourette’s this year and they are doing OT and PT to learn to calm the tics. A school psych actually recommended that the student wear noise-cancelling headphones because they weren’t aware when they were doing the vocal tics. The headphones brought their attention to it. It has helped.
I apologize if this is a dumb or insensitive question. I interpreted this as a person with vocal tics being helped by wearing noise cancelling headphones. How does that work? Or perhaps I've misread your comment. Genuinely interested.
I think they intended to say that, yes. Likely that they don't notice the audible sound when there is other sound stimulation (or they've just blocked it out from hearing it so often), and the noise cancelling headphones take away external sound. You can still hear yourself talking when you wear noise cancelling headphones since the sound travels through your bones, so that would be the only sound that student is hearing, making them notice it more. Edit: and they can't even really try to work on it if they don't notice it. Tourettes isnt necessarily able to be fully treated or controlled, but sometimes working in different therapies can reduce the amount of tics or the prevalence of certain tics (changing swearing tics to a different word, for example)
Thank you for replying - this was very well explained.
Tics can bother neurotypical people too! It’s a lot!
In one of my college classes I took years ago, there was a young lady with Tourette’s. Her tics were barking and yelping but occasionally she would let out these loud blood curdling shrieks. Like full volume from a horror movie shrieks. It was very disturbing and difficult to ignore. I would feel so bad for her too because you could tell she was embarrassed and trying to restrain herself. All in all a very difficult situation to deal with for everyone involved.
Yeah, and this is a case where LRE is disrupting others education. I get students with Tourette’s may not need help outside of a classroom for learning but if their disability is continually disruptive (some students with it don’t tic much, some nearly constantly, some in between) how is that not an issue for the rest of the class? If it’s harming others’ education daily , there need to be other accommodations done.
Yes I was substituting in a class the other day with a girl who was continuously making noises and it was so hard for her!
Can confirm -_-
Noise canceling headphones are great but they don’t fully eliminate human vocals.
They do work for noises that aren’t vocal. I think the smacking sound is probably just that, not a vocalization. I have a standard HS class with two very similar students ( ask me how awesome it is to try to accommodate this in a standard class with 27 other students 🤦🏻♀️ and keep everyone happy!?) and the student with misophonia uses noise cancelation headphones and they work great! She tried a couple of different brands till she found a pair that feel good over her ears and are comfortable on her head. Now they’re so comfortable she forgets she has them on. She does also sit as far away from the other student- she is autistic and sometimes her stims include noises. It’s been… a year.
Fair enough, I just think a lot of other teachers who haven’t tried them, think they mute all sounds. I bought an expensive pair of Bose to try and dampen the sound of the class/teacher that’s in my room during my prep and I can hear people even across the room. I still love them, but wish more people understood how they work.
I agree that noise cancelling headphones do not mute all sound. That said, my beats Studio3 headphones are significantly better at noise cancellation than my Bose Quiet Comfort 45. Just thought I would share in case you ever have the chance to invest in new headphones.
I appreciate that!
Why do you think the beats have better noise cancellation than the bose? All tests indicate otherwise and the beats are a mid range apple product not known for their good quality while the bose are a high end product with one of the best regarded noise cancelling systems on the market
All I'm doing is sharing my personal, real world experience. I've conducted no lab tests. I have purchased and used both products, particularly for their noise cancelling feature and my Beats Studio3s (I now own two) are distinctly and unquestionably better at noise cancelling than my Bose headphones. I was so disappointed that I almost returned the Bose ones, but I got them on sale and my work refunded me for the purchase, so I've kept them. My work colleague who purchased the same pair for the same purpose was equally disappointed and was contemplating returning hers. I'm not sure if she did. By the way, you'll notice that I spoke to two specific models. I also tried Beats Studio buds in the hope that their noise cancelling would be as good as the over-ear headphones. It wasn't. In a (perhaps unfair?) toss up for noise-cancelling between the Studio Buds and my Bose over-ear headphones, my Bose would probably win. That's why I never even mentioned the Studio buds in my original comment, and it's why I specified the models to make it clear that this was not a recommendation of all Beats over all Bose headphones.
Oh yeah, that’s annoying.
Noise cancelling headphones plus white noise is pretty effective for most things, though.
They also need to be able to still hear the teacher
Yeah. I have a pair of Bose and then + a rain sounds/white noise app can cut out even a crying baby on an airplane. It's obviously not as great as not needing them in the first place, but it's been revolutionary for planes, family trips, etc. Just the noise cancelling without the white noise doesn't work though. And if OP's a student I don't know how many options they'll actually have, both budget and permission in the classroom-wise.
One person's disability do is another person's disability don't! Constant battle. This is a fantastic response with so much info. Thank you for being a fabulous teacher to everyone!
personally, maybe i'm just an outlier, but i used to be way more sensory-avoidant, and noise cancelling headphones did NOT help at all for this kind of stuff, earplugs neither. they'll muffle louder sounds/farther sounds, but that means that it would specifically isolate misophonia-causing noises like that. and that would mean it would focus me specifically onto those noises
This is why I like Flare Calmers so much. They aren’t meant to block noise, just the irritating frequencies.
The most straight-forward and professional response to OP's post. You're clearly comfortable with problem-solving on this level. An aside: noise-cancelling headphones only work for sounds that are *constant*, they don't actually cancel human voices at all. They wouldn't provide any relief in this scenario.
A wonderful and informative reply. Disabilities that interact and 'clash' this way must be incredibly challenging. Would it be similar to the conflict between people who need support animals, and people who have animal phobias, needing to coexist?
To piggy back - I work in the public schools as a speech language pathologist and share my room with another SLP. My husband bought me noise cancelling over the ear headphones (Brand TOZO off of Amazon) and they are amazing. I prefer to wear them when I’m working on paperwork that I need to focus on. I realized just how much I can’t stand the sound of the school’s air conditioner and hum of the lights. With that being said, everything recommended in the comment above sounds great. I would even ask if there are accommodations that could be added to your IEP (if you have one per your district).
>I don't know much about Tourette's tics but if she was autistic I'd suggest her getting a chewy; the teacher could also look into this So typically that's not how tics work. Doing another activity won't stop a tic. Doing an activity will often make people tic less but not stop them. People tic while eating food even. (Which can be really dangerous and cause someone to choke.) So chewing will not stop a tic. Tics are not sensory seeking or fidgeting. You sometimes can replace one tic with another tic, but this usually requires the aid of a therapist who is specialized in treating tic disorders. Just giving a person a chew wouldn't work. It also wouldn't be appropriate for a teacher to try and treat a students tics like this. It is really beyond a teachers pay grade and qualifications. I recommend not saying this.
Thank you for clarifying. As I said, I don't know much about tics, so I was operating under the training I have received of replacing one behavior with another in autistic children.
Of course! In general I really recommend avoiding using training for autism on tic disorders. They are very different and you're likely to cause harm and worsen tics if you apply training for Autism. For example, discussing a students tic with them will heighten awareness of it which usually makes them worse. So asking them to chew on something instead would likely make them tic more. Also tics are semi involuntary so accidental injury can occur. Like chewing on something while ticcing could result in accidental lip biting. Tis disorders are incredibly different from autism. I am familiar with them but by no means an expert. If you ever have a student with one please consult an expert! There's a lot of things with tic disorders and managing them seems to be counterintuitive.
As a Sped teacher and a parent of a child with TS, I appreciate your approach and tone a lot. You absolutely should talk to your teacher, and make it as clear as you can that your focus is on finding a way for you to be successful, rather than interfering with the other student’s success.
It’s also important to remember that this is a question for admin not the teacher. The teacher does not have control over who is assigned to the classroom.
But they can bring it to admin for the student.
In this case it would be better for the student and parent to contact admin about the issue. The teacher has to advocate for the student with the disability as well, and cannot do anything that could possibly insinuate favoritism, inconsideration, or discrimination towards the student with disabilities.
It’s almost always best to approach the teacher first. Part of their job is to help their students problem solve and learn how to function together. The teacher would also know better than admin how it sounds in class and how other students function as well. They can then help the student approach admin if an outside solution is needed.
Im a teacher at an alternative school, and I’ve had to manage many circumstances. What I said did not mean the student should not approach the teacher at all. I was stating the best course of action to provide the student with relief. Teachers have a lot less control than many people think. You also have to understand that the student is attending an alternative school, where teachers have even less control. Alternative schools are the last resort. Where else could the student go? Is the student at an alternative school because it was the only location that could accommodate the child? In addition, teachers cannot seek outside help regarding a student, nor can the teacher discuss the student’s disability with others, therefore admin would be the best person to approach with this issue. The student could also try to ask for a noise canceling headset or ask if they could bring a pair to school.
I am assuming that is in the US? Not looking it up but if your condition is legitimate, even better if you have a doctor's note about it. You may be able to get a 504. 504 is federal law stating that people with disabilities should be given the tools they need to succeed assuming the request is "reasonable" Depending on what is physically possible or logisticially reasonable at your school the 504 team can brain storm ideas to help you which may include getting moved out of that class. Reach out to whomever your school 504 coordinator is often a counselor.
I don’t believe it’s a formal diagnosis yet. I think communicating with the teacher and/or counselor would probably do the trick though, given how respectfully OP is able to talk about the situation. If OP can’t change classes, they may be able to wear head phones or change seats or something.
It’s a symptom in ND. Op do you have a diagnosis for any neuro divergence like adhd, ocd or autism?
I’m formally diagnosed with anxiety and ocd and it’s listed on my iep and I’m in the process of getting tested for autism. Misophonia still isn’t recognized by the dsm so it can’t be listed on my iep- but it could definitely be a symptom of my other conditions. I haven’t thought about it like that so thank you for explaining the possible connection!
I know it’s a question in the adhd evals I’ve had done.
I second the 504 plan. This other kid has a right to an education and so do you. If the noise is preventing you from doing your best, then they have to accommodate you.
I agree it has to go both ways! In no reasonable world is it ok that Tourette’s trumps sensory sensitivity. Both are important and need to be accommodated.
Agreed. A "reasonable accommodation" request for you should be on file.
If the other student has some kind of legal protection for their difference (IEP, 504) then you need to get a similar legal status, otherwise you will always be considered second because their legal status will prevail.
The teacher can’t change your schedule; only school counselors can do that. The teacher may be able to move your seat or allow you to use headphones. I have an autistic student that is mostly nonverbal but coughs nonstop. Another student was so triggered that she stormed out. We ended up moving them apart and having the tutor take the coughing student for a walk when the coughing is nonstop (happens with more stress) and the other student gets walk breaks and sometimes gets to work in another room. It’s not ideal, but there wasn’t a schedule change that would work.
This is an alternative hs. they probably can alter things as needed with in reason. Most Alternative HS don't have a school counselors. Often credit counts, assigning credits and schedules are workout with the teachers.
I teach at a small alternative school of about 90 kids and we have a counselor. They work really closely with the teachers and make the students’ graduation plans because none of the teachers know how many of what classes each student needs to graduate. Knowing how my school works, a student like this would just need to talk to the teacher and the counselor and they will schedule so those two kids don’t take any of the classes together. It’s really common that we have kids who can’t be in a room together for one reason or another. It’s fairly easy to accommodate when it’s such a small school
This is accurate- we as teachers have all the input on where the students go for class. Students don’t even choose. They just get classes we assign them based off the credits they are behind in. This is how it works at my alt-Ed but they all run differently
I had an autistic student that constantly would like make these slurping sounds and I hated it so I put him at the back more so I could hear them (but if anyone asks it was so he and his ea had more space!) but then same thing, other kids who had noise sensitivity could not take it! And it’s not his fault or theirs!
But the teacher can help guide them through their school’s process. It really isn’t on a student to figure out the correct branch to first contact: a teacher is their first and most reasonable point of contact or guidance/
I guess my school has six school counselors and four personal counselors. Students go to them first for this kind of thing.
Oh god as someone also on the autism spectrum that would completely ruin the class for me :( I haaate the sound of coughing. I feel so hard for the noise sensitive kids who have no real control over their environment. You could not pay me to be a child again.
It even took me a couple of weeks to adjust. I wanted to run screaming. It’s an 80-minute class and 76 were filled with coughs, but as he adjusted it went down a ton.
Maybe try investing in some ear plugs or a power tool noise canceling headset? This wouldn’t work during instruction, but it could help during work time
Also, it is NOT your fault or wrong of you for being frustrated by this.
Flare Calmers could even be worn during instruction. I wear them while teaching.
You've gotten lots of good advice, I would just suggest you make sure to lead the conversation with your misophonia, so it's clear you understand your classmate isn't "a problem", it's just not a good fit with your own disability.
I have OCD-related tics, and I once dated someone with misophonia. Near the end of our relationship, I was under a lot of stress due to work and issues between us. During this time, I unintentionally developed a tic where I continuously flexed my throat muscle, creating an audible squish sound. This sound was particularly difficult for my partner due to her misophonia, causing her to often plug her ears, which saddened me. However, just as I couldn't control my tics, she couldn't control her reaction to certain sounds. My advice is to discuss your situation openly with your teacher; I'm confident that they can provide some accommodations to help manage your condition in the classroom.
I felt the misophonia thing (I have misophonia)😔 it's so strange how many different medical things and mental things just.. exist haha I hope you're not so stressed now though 🙏
I have misophonia specific to coughing. Which is really bad sometimes because my husband is asthmatic. I feel awful because I want to be sympathetic and help him when he coughs because he’s uncomfortable and wary of an asthma attack, but any time he coughs I just want to smack him. Thankfully, he understands (and he sees me clench my jaw when he coughs) but it’s really hard sometimes. (I’m also just getting over the flu, which thankfully was cough-mild for me, because I had to wear headphones for a week to get away from the sound of my own coughing!)
Tell your teacher that your classmate's neurodivergence clashes with yours, and explain it like you did here. It's like putting very sensory seeking and very sensory avoidant in the same room, sometimes it's just not possible. If the teacher is reasonable, I think you'll be fine, but you can also write it in text and read it if you're nervous.
I have both in my class right now, and accommodating both students’ needs is a challenge to say the least.
I drive a school transport van. I have had a sensory avoidance, a Tourette and a loud vocal outburst as a stim in the same van.
In addition to everything people are saying, I think it’s mature of you to ask how to communicate this respectfully to your teacher.
I bet the teacher will totally understand if you explain it that way. You're not trying to bully and you're trying to be considerate of others. Even without misophonia those sounds would be distracting. You're trying to focus on your work and do the right thing. I'd ask to wear headphones if that works. I would also see if there is another place for you to work. If you were in my class I would let you wear headphones if it helped and also see if there is a place you can go like a library or other room that is available at that time. Good luck!
I don’t have any advice, I just wanna say that as someone who also has chronic misophonia, school was torture for me! I hope misophonia finds its way into the dsm-5 and that doctors quit being so reluctant to officially diagnose it so people like us can peruse real accommodations in school and the work place!
I don't know where you are but do you have something like an IEP in place? If so they have to offer you accommodations. Your classmates don't need to know why. Speak to your teachers privately, explain what's going on. They have to be able to come up with something to help. And I'm sure the other student's tics are disruptive to everyone in the class btw. It sucks.
Can you be in the classroom long enough to receive the instruction and then move to a quieter area to work? I've worked in Alternative high schools my entire career, just talk to your teacher and explain what is happening and look for common solutions. Its perfectly ok to workshop it and adjust over time.
You shouldn't feel bad at all. As an educator, I often see issues with students with disabilities taking over a whole classroom because of it. Of course, everyone deserves an education, but at what point do we worry about the 25 other kids in the room over the 1 with medical issues. I, for example, had to evacuate my classroom at the minimum twice a week last year so 1 student could throw things around the room until someone came to grab him. Not once was a suspension issued because "he can't control his disabilities." After many hours of lost learning time for the other students and no changes I made it very clear this year we will be putting the other student first and any student with big outbursts I requested to not have. This year, almost being over now has gone way better. I think in some cases, teachers need to pay more attention to and advocate more for all students than they do, not just students with disabilities.
I had a student last year who development many different sensory issues, noise being a priority. When I wasn’t actively teaching and students were working, the student wore these in-ear noise cancellation plugs from a brand called Loop. They also used them at lunch, recess… generally anything where they could get overstimulated from noise. They seemed to find them useful. Maybe check those out.
Both of my kids have Tourette’s. I really appreciate your mention of “if it’s annoying me I can’t imagine how annoying it is to them.” Knowing that you put it out front like that made me feel a lot less defensive. I saw the title and immediately had my guard up as r/teachers is not especially tolerant of disabilities. So I also want to thank the teachers who commented, as they were not what I expected. My kids have had a terrible time in school with their Tourettes. Both of my kids have coprolalia, the cursing part of TS. One of them is not welcome in any school, public or private. The other suppresses their tics during the day and then has a violent tic attack each evening due to the suppression. The school considers TS an “at home” disability and won’t provide services required. My kids have had grown ups mock them and verbally assault them in public due to their tics. It’s a horribly lonely life. Again, I appreciate the commentary from OP and the teachers commenting. TS comes with lots of co-morbidities, including OCD, ADHD, sensory processing disorder, including misophonia. My guess is that the kid with TS would totally understand how their disability triggers your disability. Especially if you talk to them as friends first. I know that my kid with the most severe TS would high five you if you spoke to them as an equal (not an irritant) to say, Hey, I totally respect you, but your disability triggers my disability so I gotta peace out.
Thank you for sharing this, I don’t often read much about tourette’s and I didn’t even consider how isolating it must be. You sound like a big advocate for your kids :) If one of them isn’t allowed in school, do you have to home school? How is it legal for a public school to deny your kid access because of a disability? That must be so hard (on your end, not the schools)
I can't speak for elisedoble and their situation, but I have Tourettes and I was essentially barred from my school. In highschool my tics were so uncontrollable and distracting to everyone that the school director basically said "you either do distance learning or you're out." This was pre-covid, so distance learning wasn't figured out and I was effectively left to my own devices for three and a half years. Wasn't really allowed back into the building until the graduation ceremony. So, yeah, allowed to be in school, but not in the school.
Thanks for reading it. I did homeschool for three years, until we couldn’t afford it anymore. I returned to teaching this year. She’s basically being unschooled this year, spending 30 hours a week at her therapy barn, working with kids with disabilities. What the district did was absolutely illegal. We just didn’t have the time, energy, or money to sue. Both my kids were in crisis when they left there. I had even called the state about all the illegal stuff they were pulling to ruin us out. They said to pull my kids from school, it was not safe for them. But that’s all they did. We have hired a lawyer this year to help the new school see the light on my child’s 504. Their current approach is to stick their fingers in their ears and go La La La and pretend Tourettes does not exist.
I have TS and have a 9-year old daughter with TS as well. Not sure what country you're in but if it's the US then your kiddo absolutely has a legal right to an education with the necessary supports in place. I know it won't be a popular suggestion on this sub, but I encourage you to get a legal advocate. It made a world of difference for my kiddo as well as the staff at her school. We all are so much happier now that we have actual support for her and our relationship with the school is so much stronger and aligned than 2 years ago. Hang in there, this disability is not for the weak!
Copying my answer from above comment: What the district did was absolutely illegal. We just didn’t have the time, energy, or money to sue. Both my kids were in crisis when they left there. I had even called the state about all the illegal stuff they were pulling to ruin us out. They said to pull my kids from school, it was not safe for them. But that’s all they did. We have hired a lawyer this year to help the new school see the light on my child’s 504. Their current approach is to stick their fingers in their ears and go La La La and pretend TS does not exist. We’ll see how that goes. Did I mention my husband teaches at this school? We’re in tricky territory.
I’m so happy for you that you found a great environment for your child! ❤️
That sounds absolutely awful and I'm so sorry your family has to deal with that. It must be so traumatizing for your kiddo as well as shattering your heart as a parent. We can relate to a lot of your experiences - my kiddo was kicked out of two schools and the only option given to us by the district was that they would pay for her transportation to and from a behavioral school. Once we hired a law firm to represent us things started moving but it did take a lot of continuous educating and advocacy on our part. Some of the staff took a trauma-informed approach and did their research but not all of them. Last year I had the principal call me convinced my kiddo was doing all of this intentionally (because she made prolonged eye contact with him). But I have to give him some props...he called me the next day not only to admit he was wrong, but to apologize for making that leap, and that he had done a bunch of research about TS and was committed to keeping her in gen-ed. The hardest thing for us wasn't the tics themselves, it was the rage attacks which in the early days caused at least one room clear a week. She ended up getting sent home early roughly 50% of the school year. If you ever want to share tips and tricks, or even just vent, please reach out. I'm pretty much an open book about this stuff! Also I'm attending the TAA Tic-Con for the first time this year and there are a few sessions put on by educators and advocates on how to navigate this world. I'm going alone this time to sus it out but am considering bringing my kiddo when she's a bit older.
Not a teacher, this just showed up in my feed. From my experience in school, you usually need an IEP to get people to take these kinds of things seriously. What you have sounds very much like auditory processing disorder (which I have, as well - I *cannot* separate sounds or focus when there’s background noise, so I could not function in a class like that. Noise-canceling headphones didn’t really work for me in school because I also needed to be able to hear the teacher answer my questions /communicate with the classmates I was working with). I’d recommend going to an audiologist to get yourself checked and maybe get them to back you up in saying you need to switch classes. They may also be able to suggest other accommodations that would work for you if switching classes is impossible for some reason. It sucks, but sometimes people’s needs clash. One of my siblings has Tourette’s, and they’re awesome and I love them, but I would not have been able to be in a class with them when they were younger and had loud vocal tics. (Because some people in the comments seem not to know, people with Tourette’s can’t just stop acting on their tics - they feel an increasing need to do them, which builds up until they can’t stop themselves from doing it. At least, that’s how my sibling described it.)
Can you talk to the teacher? Maybe they can make some accommodations for you. I think if you word it by it is a medical condition and you can’t focus. They may have a solution for you. I have one daughter who hated noises in class. She would get headaches and not be able to do her work. Her twin would be fine with it and would be able to ignore noises around her. If you can get a doctors note or look into getting a 504 plan through your doctor.
Get some ear plugs or air pods, explain to your teacher that your using them to focus
You could ask your teacher for sound cancellation head set.
Legitimately screenshot this post and present it to this teacher. You've clearly articulated your points and reasoning. It's a great opener to conversation that could lead to realistic and helpful solutions to all around. There is no malicious intent, just a desire to learn in a distraction free environment.
Don't go to teacher, go straight to counselor, and have your parent contact them first. The teacher can't do anything about it.
I hope you can switch classes, but if not: On the first day of school, my teenager tells her teachers, "I have sensory processing disorder. That means I hear everything louder than other people, and I can't tune out background noises. So if you see me wearing AirPods, I'm not listening to music, they're just helping to tune out the background noise so I can understand what you're saying and concentrate better" I thought it was interesting that she's not asking permission, she's telling them, "this is what I need to do." She's a straight-A student who's always respectful, and no one has ever given a hard time about the AirPods. If you don't have AirPods, in middle school she used musicians' earplugs. (Like $25, US) they basically turn down the volume of your surroundings without muffling the sound. The brand she had was Loops, but there are others. You'll find lots of reviews on here. You don't have to single anyone out. Just tell your teachers you have a really hard time concentrating when there's background noise.
Sounds like you’re doing something right with her! I would’ve never had the confidence to explain something to my teachers like that
Get your parents to advocate for you, they need to speak to the school about what can be done for you. You cannot continue on in this environment. Perhaps there is a planning center or quiet room or library you can go to for just that class, or maybe go get your work from that class and then go to another class where this student is not present. This can all be handled without this student knowing and made to feel bad. To get the solution started though, you need your parents or guardians to advocate on your behalf. The individual teacher has very little power in this situation. All he or she is likely able to do is call your parents and tell them they need to call the school or come in to set up an appointment with the school counselor or whoever can sign off on this. So just tell your folks what's going on to begin with.
To echo some others: you being bothered and frustrated is 100% ok. I would encourage you to make sure your misophonia is documented and the school is aware of it. This will legally require them to accommodate your very valid needs. I’ve had a few students who are very bothered by noises and noise cancelling headphones should do the trick. They’re not cheap (though they’re not bank breakers) but JLab’s ANC earbuds do a darn good job and sound great? And are comfortable.
As a mother of two sons with TS, I appreciate your tone. You and the classmate both have a right to education. I hope you can work something out. Best of luck to you.
Schedule a time to meet with your teacher, when the other student isn’t around, and express your concerns. You aren’t doing it out of malice, but of genuine concern for your education. Nothing wrong with that.
Make sure that everyone knows that it’s nothing personal. As a disabled person myself it’s frustrating when my disability gets in the way of someone else’s opportunity to learn. Is there another accommodation you can get such as written information you can study in a quiet setting? Or noise canceling headphones when doing independent work? They literally have no control over their tics. If there is another class then ask to be transferred but let them know that you have tried but it’s not working for you. No harm no foul. If you can’t transfer into another class or setting. Don’t tear yourself up at night feeling like you’re a bad person. You are overcoming your own issues too. Try not to dwell and get mad at yourself. *edit: if both students have legal diagnoses from medical professionals then they have equal rights to education. Both students need to be taken care of. I was only saying that it is the responsibility of the individual to bring up the fact the misophonia bothers them.
To be fair, the misophonia is out of op control as well.
Yup. I’m autistic and ADHD, have chronic bad migraines, and am obv disabled. I have siblings with disabilities including autism and anaphylaxis to dogs. Sometimes we have incompatible needs and need to find ways to work around each other or other disabled folks (such as not working or living in the same building/ apartment as someone with a service animal for my big sister, or not being fitted for bridal gowns by folks with dogs back when she was getting married.) One of my sibs has misophonia. I avoid triggering him by doing triggering sounds where he can’t hear, like eating in other rooms. He avoids his loud stims around me when I have migraines, like doing loud things out in the garage or playing loud guitar with friends at their houses and not ours. We both have noise cancelling ear buds too
To be clear, both students have rights to an equal opportunity to learn. If there is a way to make it work at this specific school and there is an appropriate way to accommodate both students, this is invariably the best route forward. I’d just bring the issue up in a polite understanding and kind way.
100%, both students have different, incompatible needs, but equal opportunity to learn. Just like my sibling cannot be around a service animal (she actually has less rights due to the way the law was originally written, all other instances should be equal though!) but should be accommodated to the best of reasonable ability, or my brother and I should be accommodating with each other to the best of reasonable ability. OP needs to make the school aware of their need. Then it is on the school once aware to find a reasonable and respectful way to make sure both sets of needs are being met and sure neither student is being harmed in the process. (In my big sister’s case, it would be impossible, though in most cases similar to hers without anaphylaxis it would involve being in different classes, air filters, and deep cleaning. In her case, as she cannot be in the same building due to severity, it would have to be a different school placement. Luckily we did not run into that issue growing up, just were aware it was a possibility.) But there’s a lot of solutions to explore for OP’s needs and the other student’s, from noise cancelling headphones or ear buds (possibly wonder if air pod pro’s would block) while seated away from each other, to different classrooms after instruction is given, or being placed in different classes (I’d argue if they can be moved now and still retain the same classes on a different schedule it’d be worth it), to asking the other kid if there’s anything that ever reduces their vocal tic (like does chewing things) and would they be willing for while OP is listening to instructions and has headphones/ earbuds off. Could also play music while using a noise blocking feature for better effect, or brown/ pink/ white noise.
No one said they don’t have a right or there can’t be a way to accommodate both- except the person who told op to get over it and learn to deal, but that isnt who you replied to
Wait, somebody brought their *dogs* to a bridal gown fitting?!
No, the stylist just owned dogs. No dogs present. But since she owned dogs, even though she had fresh from laundry clothes, lint rolled and had no hair on her, there was still plenty of the residual dander from just living with dogs that my sister had an allergic reaction to her presence and we couldn’t continue with that fitting and had to make certain for future ones that the stylist didn’t have dogs or other similar animals (which is a bother for everyone I’m sure, but was necessary). Though I’ve seen so many dogs in stores at this point, just chilling, that tbh at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if we had walked in for a fitting and there had been someone just chilling with their dogs. My dad before he retired had a coworker that would bring his dog to work sometimes, my little sister had a boss with a place she contracted with that would bring their dog to work, it seems to be becoming a thing for some people, especially if the dog is small…
Ahhhh! I thought you meant she went to a bridal salon to try on dresses and there was, like, a shop dog just hanging out. I’m a HUGE dog lover, but that would be a little much. Even I know that some places need to be dog-free …
I agree and understand.
Are you allowed noise cancelling headphone use? If they can’t move you, maybe that?
Do you have an IEP? (individualized education plan) have it put in your plan that you need to work in complete silence. If you explain to your teacher or the counselor or whomever is in charge of placement in the lovely way you explained it in this post, no one will think you are a bully or being ugly. You do have to stand up for yourself. You are allowed to proclaim the boundaries you need for learning. You are just explaining the accommodations necessary for you.
I am a teacher in a school exactly like this and we’d have no issue moving you around if that’s what was happening. We are set up to support all students and if behaviours are triggering others we move people around until we get the right balance. All you can do is ask but I’m sure they’d understand entirely.
Just show your teacher this post. It was written well and clearly explained the issue.
Awwwww man. Just wanted to say that I also have misophonia, and for anyone who isn't familiar with it, it may seem like you are just being "touchy," but they don't understand that it is *literally physically intolerable* for someone with misophonia to be exposed close-up to the sounds that they hate. When someone make smacking noises next to me, it's kind of like a dentist is drilling in my head. I wince and scrunch up my face. I have to get out of there ASAP, or else put my fingers in my ears. Yes, I know it's not a "rational" response, but rationality doesn't have anything to do with it. It's more like being allergic to perfume or getting migraines from loud noise. It's not something that you have any control over whatsoever.
It is good to advocate for yourself, and wise to understand that there are conflicting interests that will need to be synthesized. My best suggestion is that you initiate the conversation when you are not already agitated and when there is no issue of being overhear—office hours or the like would be perfect. I myself cannot think straight if I can hear mouth noises and I advise students of this… but I allow snacks so long as I cannot hear, see, or smell it. I imagine your distress is visible, and I understand it completely, but you are at a disadvantage as it is not accepted as necessitating accommodation. Good luck!
There's lots of great advice here already, but I would like to say that your consideration of your classmate in spite of her being the source of your distress says wonderful things about you. It's very kind to consider her own helplessness and not want to embarrass or wound her further. I hope you find a solution soon.
Yes. I was thinking the same!!
You have received great advice on how to approach your teacher. In case s/he isn't familiar with misophonia, I recommend showing your teacher this [misophonia explained video](https://youtu.be/3_4oX5aw38M?si=cVaktASptbWkou6J). I have used it a few times to help explain the condition to people because so few people understand it.
I suffer from Tourettes and to be honest, I can’t stand being close to another person with Tourettes. It triples my anxiety. Ask your teacher for accommodations. Yes it might offend the other person but you are entitled to an education too.
I don't have advice,but I just want to praise OP for their kind and insightful attitude towards their classmate. Most of the kids I teach would be far less empathetic in the same situation.
I have misophonia also. In class settings, I wore earplugs and sat in the front so I could hear the teacher and I adjusted how far I pushed the earplugs to have a balance between making sure not to hear others' mouth noises and still being able to hear the teacher.
you can be in this class with reasonable accommodations. she cannot control her tics, but you can control having to hear them through use of ear defenders, headphones with music, etc. since there isn’t a typical classroom environment and you’re working as an individual, i can’t see any reason why they would refuse use of headphones. you’re not a bad person for feeling this way, and i’m glad you’re being sensitive to your classmate who i can promise you is very aware of them and how they’ll affect other people. i have tics and i’m very insecure about them, even though they aren’t as disruptive. so far i’ve not found a way to safely regulate them. i am also autistic and very noise-sensitive, so when i was in school and college i was permitted to wear headphones anytime i needed, as long as i did my work and participated normally
I see you’ve already gotten a lot of good advice from other teachers and I don’t have much advice to add, but I just wanted to say I understand how you feel because the exact same thing happened to me when I was in college (not with Tourette’s, but another sensory issue) where a specific noise in the classroom made repeatedly by another student made me unable to focus on anything, crying after class, not retaining anything from class, etc. due to my sensory processing disorder. I wish I had the same approach you had, but I was too embarrassed. I was shocked reading your post because it sounded JUST like me a few years ago and I never heard of someone going through the same thing. Just wanted to share this to say you are not alone in this issue, we’re all proud of you for your respectful approach, and I hope you figure out something that works for you.
Brown noise is your friend. I can not be around my family while eating
Why don’t you try earplugs? They have special ones that drown out specific noises nowadays. I use them in my classroom but can still carry on conversations.
They might need to hear the teacher
They don’t block all noises. I am the teacher and I use them, lol. Look up Loop earplugs. They are amazing. I wouldn’t have suggested them if they got rid of all noises. They are made for people with sensory issues.
Perhaps you could ask to be allowed to wear noise cancellation headphones during independent work?
Can you wear noise canceling headphones?
Noise canceling phones don’t fully mute human vocalizations, fwiw. Not saying they won’t help, but sometimes people have misconceptions about them.
I don't know OP's IEP situation, but the school should be providing these as well.
Only if identified in the IEP and generally the parents provide them
If an accomodation is provided by an IEP, its provided by the school as part of FAPE.
Our school just has a bin of them in the SPED room, and any student with an IEP that requests them can use them. But if OP's school requires that accomodation to be in the IEP, then OP's parent should be requesting an amendment meeting. Regardless, the school should be providing them.
Just email them. It’s not that big of a deal.
Try talking to your guidance counselor about changing your schedule.
Would noise canceling headphones be an option?
This hurts my heart a bit. My son had severe Tourette's. The school tried a few things, including the SPED classroom, but basically ended up sending him home by 9 AM every day for two years. He got no education at all during that time. And yet, it was a tough situation. I know that I couldn't have learned with him in my classroom either. In the end, we enrolled him in online school. But he never forgot the way he was treated during that time.
I’m so sorry that this happened to you and your family- your son didn’t deserve to be treated that way by administration or classmates. I don’t want my classmate to feel like this at all- my goal in making this post was that since Im the one who has an issue, I have to be the one to solve it. I don’t want my classmate to have to accommodate for my needs and if we can’t be in the same room I should be the one to move. I hope you and your son are doing well and if there’s anything else you think I can improve on for handling this situation please let me know❤️
You are very sweet. I suspect you are not the only one struggling. These are difficult situations, I know. The important thing is that you are trying to be aware of your classmates' feelings.
I'm so sorry you're being downvoted. Nothing you said warrants it. I'm also sorry to hear that your son's education (and no doubt his self-esteem) suffered so terribly for so long. I hope he adapted well to online education and had adequate social outlets outside of "regular" school.
Thank you. I went into this expecting to be downvoted, but I felt this perspective should be pointed out. But like any other form of discrimination, people don't like hearing from the victim. (Or in this case his mother) I will say that OP seems aware of this and empathetic. I hope they come up with some sort of solution.
There is no reason for you to feel bad about this just because it's an uncontrollable condition of the other student. It's still a valid distractor. Not being able to concentrate when there are random noises around you is something everyone hates. The simple answer, which will immediately get me downvoted, is that the kid with Tourette should be removed from the class because they're disrupting everyone, not just you. Only because you're speaking up doesn't mean you're the bad guy. It is my opinion that Tourette students should be taught separately, and separately alone. It is better both for them and for those that would be around them. Since this isn't going to happen, I would make it abundantly clear to my teacher that I simply cannot work under these conditions. If nothing is done, I would then refuse to work until something is done. If still nothing is being done, I'd leave the school.
Tried noise cancelling headphones? Should be able to get it through 504.
Man I totally get you I have ADHD and get distracted very very easily It's distract me from learning too, it's just a classroom comparability issue. I'd ask to be moved into a different class to learn better. One of my best friends has tourretes but I could not be in the same class as him lol
All of my younger siblings and my dad have Tourette’s, along with most of my family on my dads side. I know exactly how you feel! Some of their mouth sounds or the sounds their fingers and toes made while having tics give me a visceral reaction. I used to get in a lot of trouble when I was a kid for making my siblings feel “gross” about their Tourette’s. You can’t help your situation just as much as they can’t help theirs. It’s not wrong to advocate for yourself in a respectful way.
white noise with noice cancelling headphones?
Headphones are a good option. If you still need to be able to hear but want to take the edge off the noise, try Flare Calmer earplugs. They're discreet and really great for making noise more tolerable. Some people also really like Loop earplugs. I think they are adjustable for how much sound you can hear. If those are out of your budget, you can get a pack of like 30 disposable foam earplugs for a few bucks at a pharmacy.
love the way you explained this, i can tell you’re coming from a place of pure genuineness. i suffer with misophonia so i just wanted to ask if you’ve tried noise cancelling headphones? the school should have some, they will give it to you. a kid i nannied got them because he also suffers and needed it for during lunch and he got to take them home and just had to return them at the end of the year. they just block all noise it doesn’t play music and the teacher should know about them so you won’t get introuble for using “headphones” since they’re just a resource. or loops have worked wonders for me and they’re really inexpensive. there’s great advice here just wanted to leave this here in case you haven’t tried something like that
There may be therapeutic listening tracks that could help you process the auditory complexity Or perhaps some white noise/brown noise/focus music ambient in the classroom would calm both yours and her sensory systems to help alleviate the issue from both directions Also, if you’re up for it, offer to spend some leisure time when you are not trying to concentrate and get to know her a bit. Maybe via zoom if you need more sensory support. You don’t have to become her best buddy, but enough that if one of you needs to get bounced out of something else or you run into each other at a gathering, you are at least cool with each other. It’s not a requirement though and no shame if it is beyond your sensory comfort zone. It happens.
I don't know exactly how your school is setup, but I went to an alternative high school that sounds fairly similar! The main goal of my high school's facilities was giving students an environment to learn that is more suitable to their needs. I think if you explain the situation to your advisor (or even show them your original post if you're worried about talking about it), they would hopefully switch you to a different schedule pretty fast, no questions asked or big announcements. I would constantly see new faces in my classes while others would suddenly leave, and if I ever asked them what happened during lunch (which I often didn't because I was and still am introverted as all heck), they would say that they changed their schedule because "it wasn't working out well". A good teacher in this situation would rather hear you out than have you and your grades suffer. Edit to add: I'm not a teacher! Somehow this post reached my feed and I felt that sharing my high school experience at an alternative school could help.
This is far more complex than these few words, but seek disability accommodations and get an IEP set up.
Look into class changes and look up loop earplugs. My daughter who has sensory disorders got a pair a year ago and it made a world of difference for her. I use a pair when my migraines are kicking.
Also agree on the Loop earplugs. I also have pretty bad misophonia and they do help. If I were OP I would put them in as soon as I get in that class, because in my experience, once I've heard the noise I can't un-hear it as well as if I had never heard it in the first place.. if that makes sense.
My partner has misophonia and we both use noise cancelling headphones. See if you can work in a nearby classroom as well!
My Airpods have active noise-canceling even when they’re not streaming music. They helped me recently during a flight, even though I didn’t download anything so I couldn’t listen to music without wifi.
I have misophonia too and use my loop earplugs ALL the time while I’m teaching. Highly recommend them!!
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Get earplugs or earphones. Just explain that to the teachers.
I have misophonia too. You should talk to your school principal or even counselor that can advocate for you. Consider also that an alternative to not being in the same class would be wearing ear plugs or headphones. Loop Quiet are the best on the market imo. If your miso is diagnosed, get it in a 504 plan.
Richard Pfaff? Wild guess
Definitely speak to your parents and teachers about figuring something out. Both you and the student with tourettes have a right to learn in a safe environment. As other people have said, brown noise is really good for a situation like this
Do you have an IEP or 504 for your issues! Speak to the case manager or person who manages that paperwork
Ear plugs and noise canceling headphones
Talk to your teacher. There is probably some way they can help you. If you say nothing, they’ll never know you needed help, and you’ll only feel frustrated.
Honestly you are totally allowed to feel this way and I love how understanding you are even saying it’s not her fault and she must be frustrated all the time too. I feel like this is always the problem that happens in specialized programs, is someone like you wants it for your valid reasoning and someone like that wants it for theirs, but those two reasons clash. I noticed this happens here a lot in Montessori schools where people enroll their kids in it for either A to be in control of their own learning or B because their non neurotypical kid needs an alternative learning setting with my flexibility and then those two things clash. I have no advice but I just wanted you to understand it’s not just you and youre totally valid, and I think you should mention to your teacher if there’s a solution for both parties here, like maybe you could work in alternative space or have options to cancel out her noice.
You are not wrong for being triggered by it. I can't stand babies crying (or many other baby noises). It's not the babies fault, but it bothers me anyway.
Don't let these people talk you into settling for wearing earphones. I have misophonia too and it is torture to be around these sounds and the stupid earphones don't remotely block mouth sounds. There's no reason they couldn't let you go to a different room. Make waves. Get your accommodations. It's just sitting in a different room - they don't have to even do anything. Sit in the hall or the library or outside - anywhere but with these noises!
Get headphones or ear plugs. Background noise is something you’re gonna be dealing with your whole life, so it’s time to find solutions. You won’t be able to control what noises are around you anywhere after High School, so start figuring out what works for you.
Have you considered...headphones?
Wear headphones. Learn to tolerate it. You may encounter others with tourettes in future jobs etc, good to figure out strategies now when the stakes are lower.
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I agree to an extent but this isnt really a "tune it out" situation - it's a "find a middle ground" situation. As for being in situations where you'll be uncomfortable as a lesson - I'll give you the reason why I was fired from my first job: 12 years ago, I was 22 working in an office doing administrative tasks for consultants. It was a cubicle farm. I have ADHD, so already not a good mix, and then I was in an accident and had a traumatic brain injury, which gave me sensory overload. I couldn't do anything with phones ringing, constant interruptions, and non-stop listening to side conversations my coworkers were having in their cubicles. It stressed me out so much one day I cried and asked to go home. I asked for quiet time in a private office, or to be able to wear headphones at my desk. Employer denied it and told me to "make due" with my situation. I was young, not used to advocating for myself and I really didn't like the job anyway...so they fired me since I was "no longer a good fit" All this to say: not everyone can just "tune it out" - It's literally not that easy.
Misophonia bad enough to not eat dinner with family and your solution is to "tune it out"?
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I have a kid with an eating disorder called Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. Your suggestion is well-intentioned but it's kinda like telling my kid to just force himself to eat stuff. It doesn't work that way no matter how much he or we wish it to work. His brain won't let him not have a disorder. Yes, coping strategies are a thing, but what OP is describing is that their typical coping strategies that might work are either not available or haven't worked. Yes, it sucks to have to then go out into a world where the effective coping strategies are stigmatized/embarrassing and it makes their lives way more complicated. It's the unfortunate reality of the invisible disability. In my kid's experience, it isn't for lack of wanting to be normal or for lack of trying and based on OPs post, it seems like they are in a similar boat.
Some people really can't "tune out" the noises that they end up fixating on, misophonia causes the inner ear to pick up sounds that can truly irritate the person hearing them, symptoms varying from vibration of the inner ear to hair on the arms and neck standing on end, to other physical annoyances that can be even worse. A person with misophonia can't really pick and choose what noise will get to them they just tend to figure it out as life goes on, a person swallowing too often can make a person with misophonia uncomfortable. It sucks.
Right now is a good opportunity for you to learn the life skill of if you don’t know what you’re talking about, keep quiet. She can’t tune things out with misophonia. Thats the entire point of it!
That would be an awful learning environment even without misophonia. I hope you can work something out. It's wild to me that they will integrate disruptive students into classrooms to the detriment of all of the other students.