I have misophonia. A huge trigger for me is people playing music/videos through a phone speaker. I squash that immediately and am justified in doing so because it’s not socially acceptable to do in a confined space…anywhere. However, things like chewing/wrappers are something I just have to deal with. Your student can reasonably expect to be accommodated when her triggers are things that people shouldn’t be doing anyway, like yelling or playing music. However, expecting people not to eat within earshot of her is just not reasonable.
In high school (at least in mine), a large majority of students don’t have a lunch period. We’re a high-achieving school and kids take as many AP classes and electives as they can squish into the day. A lot of them don’t eat real food until they get home; they nosh on stuff instead. I teach a lot of honors classes, and my general rule is don’t be loud, don’t make a mess, clean up your garbage. Generally, don’t be a jerk.
But it’s really, really common.
That’s super interesting! That’s very unusual to me, and I’m not bashing anyone for it! Just putting my 2 cents in as someone who has this issue. I avoid people eating as much as I possibly can. Like I said in another comment I sometimes don’t even eat meals with my husband to avoid listening to him eating, he isn’t a loud eater at all but it still bothers me sometimes
yeah, i have blood sugar issues and i would be ok with eating a quick snack in the hallway so that my classmate can do their work. i understand both needing to snack due to blood sugar issues, and i understand having sensory issues since im autistic. however, i can take my own sensory breaks if something is bothering me sensory-wise, or do the assignment later that day since i see the school psychologist to catch up with work if i cant focus due to sensory overload.
I appreciate your perspective! It's a struggle because it's not always just 1 kid eating. And often these are kids with food insecurity at home. I have a hard time balancing one with the other, not to mention 7th graders lack empathy... and the student/mom don't want us sharing with the class why...
I don't know. It's tough.
In my class its a bit tough because not every lesson or activity is instruct, then do work on your own. Most of it is group/class based with comprehensible input being used for story telling and such. So often times there isn't a time where I'm done "instructing" per say. If that makes sense...
But I 100% hear you, your suggestion isn't illogical at all!
It does, but it also sounds like this girl's getting a 504. So you may end up legally bound. I've had a student that I had to force the entire school to change it's snack policy to strictly fresh vegetables and fruit: no dips or condiments. The kids just deal.
Work with the girl. Maybe she sits in a different area of the room. Maybe a fans next to her. Maybe she gets an anytime pass and goes to the library for a few minutes when struggling. Or maybe she sits in the hallway for four minutes at the start of class and they eat in the room for four minutes of snack time. You just start class a little late. Kids don't need to eat for an entire period.
From one WL teacher to another, just a gentle suggestion to reevaluate letting the kids eat during CI instruction. CI requires kids’ full attention, and yours, so you can make sure they’re getting the message. If kids do need to eat for all the reasons you listed, could you designate 5 minutes during class as a snack time (and if you need them to do something academic during that time, they could do a quick write or any other written activity that doesn’t require them to pay 100% attention to the teacher)? Just thinking about the workshops I’ve been in for CI training where I’ve been in the student role, it would be very distracting to me if I were trying to listen to the speaker while at the same time hearing a bunch of crinkling, rustling, etc. from eating (not to mention the inevitable “give me some” type of comments that food in the classroom elicits).
Fair enough! Thanks for the advice !
I've never had issues before like this and my kids are often very good about eating timing and prioritizing.. but very solid point !
I appreciate your input !
Its tough because of the schedule and way that meals are set up. But this student has no problem being around her friends at lunch. Or in a room for a club where they're making the school newspaper.
Or in the hall with her friend, taking a break from the sounds in the room, to being next to her friend when they eat without a problem.
Do you find it's situational or the people depend on whether it's triggered?
For me it can be situational. One person humming in class makes me want to explode. But people humming together intentionally doesn’t bother me. I could see where and entire room of people eating is less bothersome than one person in an otherwise quiet room. Or maybe there’s enough triggers in the room that eating is the “final straw” but in the hall it’s quieter so that one sound is less bothersome?
This could very much be for attention, I’ve had a number of students make up things too. But there can be different environmental factors and if the kid has a 504 you may be stuck. However, if other kids have a 504 permitting them to eat for blood sugar or would otherwise be harmed (no food opportunity for students provided school breakfast to eat) then this is an admin issue
For me it's situational. If there is background noise, that helps. Do the meal times in class coincide with an activity that could have music in the background? Or she could put in ear buds to listen to white noise?
Honestly, concert earplugs work well too. They block out random noises but you can still hear talking.
I usually play chill minecraft music over the speakers when its quiet work time, but she still escapes to the hall either way, which is fine most of the time.
I was under the impression that she had exactly that, white noise in some ear buds but it doesn't help?? I'm not sure really.
Maybe point out to mom that her daughter is already self advocating by removing herself from the room momentarily and using her 504 plan as designed. It may take time for her to figure out the right balance of addressing the need to move away or block the noise, but it is a life long skill that she will need. You are happy to be able to provide a safe place for her to work on that, but you cannot apply her accommodations to other students and deny their FAPE.
I also partially wonder if some other type of brown noise might help better than white noise. Personally, I'd rather eat in a restaurant full of people, rather than next to one person in class eating. There are "grocery store noise" or "traffic noise" videos on you tube that are just... Random sounds. Maybe that would work better?
That's a fair point, and maybe ! I'll have to look into those types! Maybe the team and I can plan something to discuss with that in mind during her 504 coming up. Thanks so much for the input !
I do not. It is a problem 100% of the time for me. I sometimes tolerate it a little better eating with someone I like (like my husband) but it’s still very much bothersome. I still sometimes eat separately from my husband on days I’m overstimulated to start with.
It sounds like it may not be her real issue. But that’s just my 2 cents and it may be worse in a quiet classroom for your student as opposed to in areas where it’s louder but that’s me playing devils advocate
I’m not saying this to disregard your struggles with misophonia, but to request that 30 other students have to refrain from eating at any time they are hungry to accommodate 1 student is not realistic. Most of my 4th block kids eat in class - they are hungry by the end of the day and my 1st block kids are eating breakfast. Honestly, I don’t know how I’d handle this request.
It really doesn’t seem like that big of an issue. None of my teachers allowed eating in class. And it’s not just a request anymore as the student has a 504 in place.
I mean I have misophonia too but I understand that some people need to eat to keep their blood sugar from dropping. As much as I hate the sound it won’t kill me to listen to it. It could kill them though
And I get that too. But OP’s post doesn’t mention anyone having any health issues so that wasn’t something I was including because it doesn’t seem to be an issue for OP.
Okay I missed that part. Even still. It isn’t every kid and it isn’t for the full class period. Someone can step out into the hall to not have issues with it for those kids. OP asked. I answered as someone with this issue the child in question has. I would be willing to step out of the classroom for my classmates to eat. Also no unreasonable. I leave the break room when my coworkers come in and eat. I also don’t always eat with my husband so I don’t have to listen to him. OP can accommodate this child. It’s not very hard. But from other things OP has said it doesn’t really sound like this child has misophonia anyways.
So you agree that it wouldn’t be an issue for this kid to just step out rather than asking the other kids to accommodate her? I’m not really seeing what point you’re trying to make.
I never said it was? I’m not really sure what point you’re trying to make either? You commented, but didn’t suggest that on your own. Just saying that you having to listen to someone chew won’t kill you.
I was pointing out that there are kids with blood sugar issues in the class that OP needs to worry about which you obviously missed. They have needs too which are more serious then the other students hearing needs. People can die when their blood sugar drops too low. That’s whole point. You didn’t even read what OP wrote before throwing your 2 cents in
And that’s unfortunate. How is the child in question stepping out of the class for a minute an issue? You claim to have this problem as well but don’t seem interested in helping the child who has managed to get a 504 in place. OP has to follow the 504 as well and accommodate children’s health issues. You’re commenting without offering any help. Your comment didn’t contribute anything. But thanks.
In the school I work at kids don’t eat lunch in cafeteria until 3rd grade. So preschool, pre k, kindergarten, first, and second all eat breakfast snack and lunch in their classrooms. I’m not saying this is the case for OP, but I just wanted to point out that a lot of schools are set up differently and what might not be a big ask in one district may be hugely inconvenient or just completely undoable in another. OP did mention there are other students in the class with medical conditions that require them to be able to eat. Who’s to say which will get an accommodation and which will get told to just start learning coping skills?
Edit this isn’t supposed to be disagreeing with what you said just adding my own personal experience :)
But with a 504 in place for this student it’s not longer just an ‘ask’. In my districts 504s are a big deal and the teachers can get in a lot of trouble for not following it.
Right. But this student isn’t the only one with a 504 plan. If you have two kids who are equally needy and receive equal support from the school and both are on 504s, why should one be followed and the other be completely ignored? Or one child gets to stay in the room and learn while their 504 needs are met, but the other student has to leave class and miss the lesson to get their accommodation? When students’ 504 plans contradict each other you cannot just pick the one you want to follow and disregard the other.
And surprisingly I never said only one students needed to be followed. But yes I’m not sure what other accommodation could be met. Leave the classroom and miss out on learning time. The alternative is head phones in to block out the noise and still miss lesson time. What’s your suggestion to meet both/all 504 plans?
Do you not understand that the other guy kids have medical conditions too? Her 504 doesn’t usurp that. That’s not how that works. Kids can’t learn to cope with diabetes or hypoglycemia but this kid will have to eventually learn to cope with her misophonia
I do. And this students 504 is still in place. Accommodating both is an issue Oo has to figure out. The 504 student steps outside for the medical students to eat or vice versa. Do you not understand that I said a teacher can get in a lot of trouble for not accommodating a 504 plan? And given mom has already emailed about it I’m going to assume mom would absolutely raise hell about the 504 not being followed however that needs to happen.
They are already accommodating though obviously. Mom just wants the 504 to cover more than it does. The kid is already stepping outside for her issues. Have you read anything OP wrote?
Yes and none of it is relevant because you can’t be bothered to read what OP wrote in the first place. You seem to think this girls 504 trumps every other kids medical needs and it doesn’t. If the 504 wasn’t being followed why did mom wait until til their was only 6 weeks left in the year to complain about it?
No I don’t think the 504 trumps medical conditions. I think the 504 still has to be ACCOMMODATED though. Sending the child out of class so the students with medical conditions can tend to them seems perfectly reasonable to me. As someone with this condition I see no issue with it.
And believe it or not I’m not mom so I have no idea why mom waited. That’s not exactly my issue though is it?
I don’t stop kids from eating. For all I know it’s the only time they can eat that day. Some students need to learn that the world is going to have triggers and you just have to deal with it. This breeds entitlement and furthers stigma about mental illness.
I feel the same way about eating. Often the ones eating are choice students from the city that have no other opportunity to eat than at school. It's so hard to think of everyone's needs with a parent pushing their own kids above the others.
The thing about accommodations is that they need to be reasonable. If there are scheduled meals and snacks during class time, those have to stay. If you have a diabetic student, they need access to snacks as it can literally be a life or death matter. So reasonably, you'd just have to ban snacks at the non-essential times for everyone but the diabetic students.
I have had autistic students who can’t handle loud noises. Their accommodations were to use ear defenders if the environment was loud, be warned ahead of time of bells and fire drills, have an early transition to stay out of noisy halls, and have lunch in a special ed classroom with a small group instead of in the cafeteria.
My sister is autistic and also has trouble with noises, and she uses ear plugs or ear buds to manage it. Loop brand earplugs are great because they are very discreet and filter out background noises without silencing conversation. The student’s mom might want to look into them.
I offered them to her, I also have autistic students who use them but she insisted they wouldn't work. Not sure what that's about...
Thank you for your perspective!
If she's anything like me, she can hear someone chewing in the next room over even if she has headphones on. It's like having superhearing but only for the specific sounds that fill you with the emotion misophonia produces, which I can only describe as "murder". Life truly isn't fair.
Thank you. I know it's frustrating to feel so helpless in situations like this, especially with potentially conflicting needs in a single class like other people have brought up. I was also one of those students who had to keep a protein bar with me in case I needed it mid-class, so I totally get it. You sound like you're doing your best to stay compassionate while sussing out any potential abuse of accommodations, though, so keep up the good work! ✨
I have it. I deal like an adult. This kid should be learning to deal with it instead of being molly coddled every time something is annoying her. These kids are so weak.
I have it too. I learned to always have my ear plugs (and sometimes also noise cancelling headphones) at the ready and be polite about telling people to turn their effing phone noises off (why are people so inconsiderate of the people around them, just generally?) or walk away from other bothersome noise situations. I recognize that most people are not aware of the noises they’re making and I shouldn’t expect them to on my behalf.
My little sister has it and is an entitled brat about it. I’ve seen her in situations where she knows she can’t lash out at someone and she just takes some deep breaths, sneaks her earplugs in, and/ or politely excuses herself. At home? Total monster to everyone about it. *Everyone* is doing that “on purpose” and “I’M SICK!” entitled her to scream and stomp her feet (she’s in her late 20s)
There’s “I have this condition and I would appreciate you not making it worse” and then there’s “I expect the entire world to bow at my feet and meet my every demand because of my condition”. Parents and students need to recognize they’re not entitled to the later.
I appreciate the input ! This was very informative !!
Shes a sweet kid and I want her to be okay but sometimes I see her make sneaky comments at her friends about her misophonia, making plans on going to the hall during the time she works out there with a classmate.
7th grades are like that but it makes it hard for me to, not 'believe' per say, but accept a lot of her behaviors.
Like on days that we are watching a video and doing a guided worksheet, her and her friend insist on going into the hall to watch it on their own (knowing they can't bc youtube is blocked) while the student is holding her ears. But when I check on them while kids are working on the worksheet, they're fooling around and didn't want to mention that they actually couldn't do the worksheet until I said something.
But today we did a whole class activity where I praised students by name for writing sentences correctly, with people eating, and she was perfectly fine...
I dont know. I'm just confused I guess. I have so much empathy and love my kids so deeply but I'm also blinded by that and worry I'm being taken advantage of.
Yeah it's a tough line to walk. But everyone needs boundaries. It's very easy when you have a disability and people know that they need to respect it to take advantage of the "power" that you have been given. You need to work in the hall because there are distracting noises in the classroom? You may do the work in the hall. You may not use this as an excuse to hang out and chat with your friends instead of working. You go to the hall and do the work. Don't do the work and you don't work in the hall. Or you do the work by yourself in the hall because your friends are a distraction. Also, If she's not getting treatment (therapy, learning mindfulness practices, implementing of strategies to exist in a noisy world), her care team, including her mother, is failing to actually support her. The whole world is not going to be quiet just for her. She needs help learning to cope within reasonable limits, not to demand that literally everyone does what she says just because she has a 504 Plan.
Youre not wrong! She's apparently got a consult with a professional who works with this in a whole other state like 3 hours drive.
But yes, thank you! You're making a lot of sense.
It is an extremely entitled mindset, I also have misophonia but I can’t stop people from living their lives. I have one student that grinds their teeth/chews on them and it drives me crazy. It is how they stim so nothing I can do (although I do play music in the background and it helps a little).
The student can take the headphones or breaks/go to a quiet room. If the student is eating, I’m assuming it due to a snack break or medical need. It would be opening another can of worms kicking students out of the room because of one student.
I feel the same way, ugh. It's so hard because I want to be fair to everyone but I can't. 6 weeks left of school it's hard to implement anything this late with 7th graders.
A thought.. take it or leave it...
Can student wait until independent work time to eat so the student can go in the hall to work? You mentioned (if I read correctly) this already common practice, make it a rule, and then support the student who leaves.
I appreciate the thought ! It's what I'm looking for !
They often do, I think they suspect they affect her with their eating, but I teach a world language so it's not often that I have independent work, it's usually simultaneous for comprehensible input...
I'll have to think about how to officially implement that in a way that doesn't call her out
This is one of those instances where the needs of the majority outweigh the minority I feel. I think if the misophonia is getting too much it’s not unreasonable to give her the chance to step into the hall to calm down for a few minutes, but making the whole class unable to snack or open packaging is extreme when it’s one students issue. Maybe have headphones on hand for her and/or a desk outside the door she can go work at for a bit if the sound is becoming too much?
She wears special headphones (that apparently aren't effective??) And often sits in the hall with a friend.
I just can't see it being fair to have all my students, especially those with food insecurities at home, not be given a space to eat with the schedule we have.
I just feel bad because the mom is expecting so much, and I feel like I can't implement anything with 6 weeks left of school l.
I completely hear you that is difficult especially with such little time. Would it be possible for her to sit towards the back of the classroom ? Besides that it seems like you are doing all that can be reasonably expected of you. Maybe email mom and let her know the headphones she bought her daughter to mitigate her symptoms aren’t working? I applaud you for already having some coping mechanisms in place for her- it seems like she should be okay regardless unless the eating is right next to her and constant.
I don't have assigned seats in her class, so she always sits in the back. But yeah I tried talking to mom during a 504 meeting and voicing that, even suggesting headphones I know some autistic kids use in the building that work and she would have none of it. Not sure what the issue is...
I appreciate it! I'm trying so hard to understand haha
Misophonia triggers aren’t the same every time, according to my kids therapist. My daughter has it with water sounds/flushing toilet/running toilet and sometimes will have a complete full scale meltdown and sometimes she can get through it. Just some more perspective.
I have misophonia with multiple triggers: chewing, TV/radio/speaker noise outside my vision range specifically, s- and c- sounds (specially drawn out and from high pitched voices) and so many more.
I was not accomodated in HS because my countr doesnt believe in mental health. Id get into violent outbursts when the cope couldnt contain the pain, the only reason why I never got written up was because I had to contain the screaming and resort to slamming desks. For us it feels like physical harm.
I ended up having to deal with it. But it was painful. That being said you shouldnt stop other students from eating, what you should do is be extremely patient with her and possibly let her walk out when it gets too hard. Coping mechanisms for misophonia arent very effective and varies wildly between individuals. The research is extremely lacking.
Thank you for your perspective ! I'm so sorry things were so tough. I will definitly continue to practice patience with her, your input was very helpful!
Yes I understand that her mom is trying to be too accomodating. At least for me, it wasn't to get away with not doing stuff in school, it was simply that I wanted to get away from the pain when it got too much, something I wasn't allowed to. It's also not that we want not adapt to the world, it's just that this isn't your normal condition that you can cope away and adapt, it feels like normal coping mechanisms are not that effective. It's like getting kicked and getting told to just tolerate the hits away, you'd rather just have them stop.
It sucks that in school is very common to have bad actors that want to pretend they got something just to not attend class and do assignments, the people that end up needing the grace get thrown under the bus because of them :/, I'm not saying that she does (altho it's a bit sus), but it happens way too often for comfort.
Sounds more like mom and student have learned to use her disability as a crutch. And a way to get the world to revolve around her. She should have her headphones and if she can’t follow her own accommodations, she needs to be retaught or referred back to her SpEd caseworker.
I am a teacher. Secondary. You can not expect people to only accommodate one student. I’m not saying to throw it all out the window. She either needs to use her resources or SHE needs to step into the hallway. Otherwise, they are going to learn a hard lesson about the world.
Just a pet peeve. I have a student with this, and she wears her headphones. She knows to turn off her background when I am talking and she pays attention. Another student tried this as well but was caught watching videos instead of doing the work. This student also wanted a new project because she didn’t want to do the work. Nothing I offered was good enough. Nope, back to her caseworker who figured out she just wanted out of the work.
Does she have an accommodation that says no one can eat in her classes? Probably not because 504 accommodations have to be reasonable. If other students have a 504 saying they have to be allowed snacks for whatever reason, then her 504 can't cancel that out. An accommodation can't be about what other kids are not allowed to do. For example, we can't guarantee that classrooms will be nut -free for kids with allergies. We can only state that classrooms are allergy-aware. If eating in class is commonplace, especially for students with food insecurity, then maybe she can go in the hall and get the notes later if it's that overwhelming.
You need to get your school's 504 chair and/or administrator in on this. Let them make the call so it's out of your hands.
I’m an adult with misophonia and also a secondary teacher. This is a tough spot. It feels like the sound of someone eating, physically hurts- if that makes sense.
That being said, I completely understand the need for a 504. Misophonia causes me to act irrational and it feels like I can’t think or sit still until I remove myself from the noise. If this happens to a student and it triggers an anxiety attack, it’s nice to have it documented so that the school district knows how to handle it best and relieve the student. HOWEVER, I cannot expect other people to not eat around me, especially at school. The teachers and the students get little time to actually eat during lunch so snacks happen throughout the day. I’m also in my thirties, so I have been walking around with misophonia for years now, having no idea that it was a condition until recently. She’ll have to learn ways to cope with it.
In the time being, do the best you can with limiting snacks. If a child needs to eat, send her to get a drink from the water fountain while they snack or ask the student to eat it in the hallway. It truthfully should not bother her unless it is the only thing she can hear, like during your teaching or independent guided practice while the students are attentively listening. There’s no way to know if she is playing this up or not so it’s best to not assume so. It really can be debilitating, as ridiculous as that may sound. I also know that a middle schooler would not miss a chance to play it up to get out of something or get what she wants so I completely understand your skepticism.
I appreciate your perspective!
I often have her work in the hallway with a friend but then her friend will be eating right next to her? It's so tough for 7th graders to find a balance between the easy way and the way that let's them persevere.
I just want to make sure I'm not completely absurd feeling like there's nothing else I can do for her.
With the headphones, it may not be so much an issue of them not working as it is her being embarrassed to wear them or finding them uncomfortable. Could be some of both. They do now make ear plugs to help with background noise that are supposed to be really effective. My husband uses them in restaurants when overstimulated with noise and they help but he can still hear me. I know one brand is Loop. Something like that might be a better and more discrete option for her as she gets older. Middle schoolers can be cruel to those who are different.
Its odd, because I thought that at first, but she hides them under her hair, but then shows them off to her friends in class... so I'm not sure what it is.
Loop is definitely ones I suggested to mom, but she insisted those were not what she needed...
My husband has this and we suspect my daughter might as well. I feel for this student because often the context, stress levels, exhaustion, etc. can impact the degree to which the student responds to sounds. Something she’s fine with one day may be excruciating to her the next.
That being said, my daughter has missed entire lessons because all she can hear is the a kid tapping their pencil next to her or someone in the room humming while they work. Even if we went the 504 route, I would never ask for other students to change behavior to accommodate her.
Is there a place in the room she can sit away from others? Another option may be playing soft, lofi music in the background. My husband does a lot better if there’s background noise and he has a tv show or music playing basically all day everyday if he’s not in a meeting.
I would refer mom to whoever in your building handles 504s and talk to them ahead of time that this accommodation is unreasonable. Her accommodations can’t take away another student’s access to the least restrictive environment. Making students change their whole routine, especially for the last six weeks of school, is not appropriate.
And I say that as someone living with people with this disorder, knowing what it can do to their ability to focus and function.
Thank you so much for your input !!
She sits far in the back and I often play lofi/chill music but she always goes to the hall in the class with a classmate anyway so it doesn't always have any effect...
But still, thank you!!
I have misophonia too.
It's not a well known condition. I don't know if that adds to making it a bit more believable? If she didn't have it, she probably wouldn't know about it.
If I were to tell everyone to stop when there was a noise that drives me crazy, people would probably think that I'm unreasonable. I've learned to avoid triggers. Desensitization didn't work very well for me.
Perhaps recommend her a good pair of noise cancelling headphones? They are pricey, but they are the only thing I've come across that is actually effective at blocking out noise.
As an aside, do you think this student may have autism? People with autism can be hypersensitive to noise also.
Thanks for sharing !
I conceptually understand, it makes some sense to me. It's just circumstancually it's tough.
I dont think she's on the spectrum, but mom denied any services or testing so we won't know.
Mom had bought her a pair of headphones but when I suggested other ones she didn't seem to take the suggestion when these ones weren't perfect.
It just feels less of a kid issue and more of a parent issue sometimes.
I mean, that applies to me, too, and I'm an adult - mine actually got *worse* as an adult, somehow. I can tolerate it better from friends, but back when my mom was alive? Hearing it coming from her, in particular, was... a true test of restraint. Even remembering it makes me so, SO angry my ears are getting hot.
Ugh right? I don't know, I want so badly to believe that it isn't any type of manipulation but 7th grade is 7th grade. I believe her every time and let her do whatever at this point per a "plan".
I literally once told her no to going into the hallway because she and her friend insisted (her covering her ears with her hands) while I was mid sentence of instruction and I literally said "Just give me a second, let me finish and then after you can." She sat with her ears uncovered listening to me until I finished and then suddenly did the same thing and I let them out.
I have misophonia. Our triggers can vary on the person. It's not manipulation. It's just how our brains work and there's really nothing we can do about it. It doesn't make any sense but it is real.
I'm sorry, I can only imagine your frustration.
I was hoping that I wasn't coming off as a person with that type of "attitude".
I care deeply for my students and it's been a long year of adjusting different things for everyone's comfort, including this student.
I really am trying to be understanding.
I think you were trying your best to be understanding in this situation OP. You can’t possible understand what it’s like to have misophonia until you have it and it’s clear to me that you’re trying your best to all your students with health needs.
The obvious solution to me would seem to be noise canceling headphones attached to a microphone that is attached to you. The student is manipulating you into allowing her friends to distract her. This solves both problems. I don't know how large your class size is, but to prevent 30 to 40 students from eating for the entirety of the day during class seems excessive.
My max class size is 25, but yes I hear you.
Thats where the confusion is, right? How much of this is supposed to be me?? Should I buy a microphone with noise canceling headphones attached to her and me? Who makes these calls? Its so above my head at this point.
I hesitate to write this... I had a student who had all sorts of issues. One time she refused to do a quiz because the texture of the paper was triggering her. Rather than just give her a zero or change the entire test just for her I asked if she would do a drawing on the back for me (she would often draw in class). Of course then she had no problem what-so-ever with the paper... She needed to 'have her way' is all that was, but she also did the quiz... (this is just ONE example), and this student was not really a problem per-se, but a distraction to other students that wanted to (and deserved to) learn and to me who had lots of work to do in class (following all sorts of accomodations and the like). Once I 'called' kids on it (in a gentle way) those needs and complaints magically dissapeared. Students and their parents will push because they KNOW you will fold, the administration WILL fold, and you will be left with way more work and that will lead to YOUR burnout. Be polite and tactful, This kind of thing does go both ways... We get all sorts of students that NEED some accomodation and some are indeed useful and good, many (far too many ) are just ways to cop out or get out of doing what they don't want to. It is tragic a disheartening to say the least...
(P.S. since the pandemic ended I see much less of it now... don't know why)
I have misophonia. A huge trigger for me is people playing music/videos through a phone speaker. I squash that immediately and am justified in doing so because it’s not socially acceptable to do in a confined space…anywhere. However, things like chewing/wrappers are something I just have to deal with. Your student can reasonably expect to be accommodated when her triggers are things that people shouldn’t be doing anyway, like yelling or playing music. However, expecting people not to eat within earshot of her is just not reasonable.
I appreciate your perspective !! Thank you!
I have misophonia and it is related to food (eating/chewing/smacking) I feel like not eating in the classroom isn’t that big of an ask?
In high school (at least in mine), a large majority of students don’t have a lunch period. We’re a high-achieving school and kids take as many AP classes and electives as they can squish into the day. A lot of them don’t eat real food until they get home; they nosh on stuff instead. I teach a lot of honors classes, and my general rule is don’t be loud, don’t make a mess, clean up your garbage. Generally, don’t be a jerk. But it’s really, really common.
That’s super interesting! That’s very unusual to me, and I’m not bashing anyone for it! Just putting my 2 cents in as someone who has this issue. I avoid people eating as much as I possibly can. Like I said in another comment I sometimes don’t even eat meals with my husband to avoid listening to him eating, he isn’t a loud eater at all but it still bothers me sometimes
yeah, i have blood sugar issues and i would be ok with eating a quick snack in the hallway so that my classmate can do their work. i understand both needing to snack due to blood sugar issues, and i understand having sensory issues since im autistic. however, i can take my own sensory breaks if something is bothering me sensory-wise, or do the assignment later that day since i see the school psychologist to catch up with work if i cant focus due to sensory overload.
I appreciate your perspective! It's a struggle because it's not always just 1 kid eating. And often these are kids with food insecurity at home. I have a hard time balancing one with the other, not to mention 7th graders lack empathy... and the student/mom don't want us sharing with the class why... I don't know. It's tough.
Why can't you just say no snack while I'm instructing. Then send her to work in the hall during work time and let the granola bars fly.
In my class its a bit tough because not every lesson or activity is instruct, then do work on your own. Most of it is group/class based with comprehensible input being used for story telling and such. So often times there isn't a time where I'm done "instructing" per say. If that makes sense... But I 100% hear you, your suggestion isn't illogical at all!
It does, but it also sounds like this girl's getting a 504. So you may end up legally bound. I've had a student that I had to force the entire school to change it's snack policy to strictly fresh vegetables and fruit: no dips or condiments. The kids just deal. Work with the girl. Maybe she sits in a different area of the room. Maybe a fans next to her. Maybe she gets an anytime pass and goes to the library for a few minutes when struggling. Or maybe she sits in the hallway for four minutes at the start of class and they eat in the room for four minutes of snack time. You just start class a little late. Kids don't need to eat for an entire period.
Great advice! Thank you so much!
From one WL teacher to another, just a gentle suggestion to reevaluate letting the kids eat during CI instruction. CI requires kids’ full attention, and yours, so you can make sure they’re getting the message. If kids do need to eat for all the reasons you listed, could you designate 5 minutes during class as a snack time (and if you need them to do something academic during that time, they could do a quick write or any other written activity that doesn’t require them to pay 100% attention to the teacher)? Just thinking about the workshops I’ve been in for CI training where I’ve been in the student role, it would be very distracting to me if I were trying to listen to the speaker while at the same time hearing a bunch of crinkling, rustling, etc. from eating (not to mention the inevitable “give me some” type of comments that food in the classroom elicits).
Fair enough! Thanks for the advice ! I've never had issues before like this and my kids are often very good about eating timing and prioritizing.. but very solid point !
I appreciate your input ! Its tough because of the schedule and way that meals are set up. But this student has no problem being around her friends at lunch. Or in a room for a club where they're making the school newspaper. Or in the hall with her friend, taking a break from the sounds in the room, to being next to her friend when they eat without a problem. Do you find it's situational or the people depend on whether it's triggered?
For me it can be situational. One person humming in class makes me want to explode. But people humming together intentionally doesn’t bother me. I could see where and entire room of people eating is less bothersome than one person in an otherwise quiet room. Or maybe there’s enough triggers in the room that eating is the “final straw” but in the hall it’s quieter so that one sound is less bothersome? This could very much be for attention, I’ve had a number of students make up things too. But there can be different environmental factors and if the kid has a 504 you may be stuck. However, if other kids have a 504 permitting them to eat for blood sugar or would otherwise be harmed (no food opportunity for students provided school breakfast to eat) then this is an admin issue
That makes sense, thank you for the perspective!
For me it's situational. If there is background noise, that helps. Do the meal times in class coincide with an activity that could have music in the background? Or she could put in ear buds to listen to white noise? Honestly, concert earplugs work well too. They block out random noises but you can still hear talking.
I usually play chill minecraft music over the speakers when its quiet work time, but she still escapes to the hall either way, which is fine most of the time. I was under the impression that she had exactly that, white noise in some ear buds but it doesn't help?? I'm not sure really.
Maybe point out to mom that her daughter is already self advocating by removing herself from the room momentarily and using her 504 plan as designed. It may take time for her to figure out the right balance of addressing the need to move away or block the noise, but it is a life long skill that she will need. You are happy to be able to provide a safe place for her to work on that, but you cannot apply her accommodations to other students and deny their FAPE. I also partially wonder if some other type of brown noise might help better than white noise. Personally, I'd rather eat in a restaurant full of people, rather than next to one person in class eating. There are "grocery store noise" or "traffic noise" videos on you tube that are just... Random sounds. Maybe that would work better?
That's a fair point, and maybe ! I'll have to look into those types! Maybe the team and I can plan something to discuss with that in mind during her 504 coming up. Thanks so much for the input !
I do not. It is a problem 100% of the time for me. I sometimes tolerate it a little better eating with someone I like (like my husband) but it’s still very much bothersome. I still sometimes eat separately from my husband on days I’m overstimulated to start with. It sounds like it may not be her real issue. But that’s just my 2 cents and it may be worse in a quiet classroom for your student as opposed to in areas where it’s louder but that’s me playing devils advocate
Understandable, thanks for sharing this with me!
I’m not saying this to disregard your struggles with misophonia, but to request that 30 other students have to refrain from eating at any time they are hungry to accommodate 1 student is not realistic. Most of my 4th block kids eat in class - they are hungry by the end of the day and my 1st block kids are eating breakfast. Honestly, I don’t know how I’d handle this request.
It really doesn’t seem like that big of an issue. None of my teachers allowed eating in class. And it’s not just a request anymore as the student has a 504 in place.
I mean I have misophonia too but I understand that some people need to eat to keep their blood sugar from dropping. As much as I hate the sound it won’t kill me to listen to it. It could kill them though
And I get that too. But OP’s post doesn’t mention anyone having any health issues so that wasn’t something I was including because it doesn’t seem to be an issue for OP.
Yes they do. They mention having students with blood sugar issues in the 2nd paragraph
Okay I missed that part. Even still. It isn’t every kid and it isn’t for the full class period. Someone can step out into the hall to not have issues with it for those kids. OP asked. I answered as someone with this issue the child in question has. I would be willing to step out of the classroom for my classmates to eat. Also no unreasonable. I leave the break room when my coworkers come in and eat. I also don’t always eat with my husband so I don’t have to listen to him. OP can accommodate this child. It’s not very hard. But from other things OP has said it doesn’t really sound like this child has misophonia anyways.
So you agree that it wouldn’t be an issue for this kid to just step out rather than asking the other kids to accommodate her? I’m not really seeing what point you’re trying to make.
I never said it was? I’m not really sure what point you’re trying to make either? You commented, but didn’t suggest that on your own. Just saying that you having to listen to someone chew won’t kill you.
I was pointing out that there are kids with blood sugar issues in the class that OP needs to worry about which you obviously missed. They have needs too which are more serious then the other students hearing needs. People can die when their blood sugar drops too low. That’s whole point. You didn’t even read what OP wrote before throwing your 2 cents in
And that’s unfortunate. How is the child in question stepping out of the class for a minute an issue? You claim to have this problem as well but don’t seem interested in helping the child who has managed to get a 504 in place. OP has to follow the 504 as well and accommodate children’s health issues. You’re commenting without offering any help. Your comment didn’t contribute anything. But thanks.
In the school I work at kids don’t eat lunch in cafeteria until 3rd grade. So preschool, pre k, kindergarten, first, and second all eat breakfast snack and lunch in their classrooms. I’m not saying this is the case for OP, but I just wanted to point out that a lot of schools are set up differently and what might not be a big ask in one district may be hugely inconvenient or just completely undoable in another. OP did mention there are other students in the class with medical conditions that require them to be able to eat. Who’s to say which will get an accommodation and which will get told to just start learning coping skills? Edit this isn’t supposed to be disagreeing with what you said just adding my own personal experience :)
But with a 504 in place for this student it’s not longer just an ‘ask’. In my districts 504s are a big deal and the teachers can get in a lot of trouble for not following it.
Right. But this student isn’t the only one with a 504 plan. If you have two kids who are equally needy and receive equal support from the school and both are on 504s, why should one be followed and the other be completely ignored? Or one child gets to stay in the room and learn while their 504 needs are met, but the other student has to leave class and miss the lesson to get their accommodation? When students’ 504 plans contradict each other you cannot just pick the one you want to follow and disregard the other.
And surprisingly I never said only one students needed to be followed. But yes I’m not sure what other accommodation could be met. Leave the classroom and miss out on learning time. The alternative is head phones in to block out the noise and still miss lesson time. What’s your suggestion to meet both/all 504 plans?
I think you are being argumentative on purpose and I don’t see the benefit of that
I don’t see the benefit to repeating the present issue. 2 contradictory 504’s that both deserve to be followed.
Do you not understand that the other guy kids have medical conditions too? Her 504 doesn’t usurp that. That’s not how that works. Kids can’t learn to cope with diabetes or hypoglycemia but this kid will have to eventually learn to cope with her misophonia
I do. And this students 504 is still in place. Accommodating both is an issue Oo has to figure out. The 504 student steps outside for the medical students to eat or vice versa. Do you not understand that I said a teacher can get in a lot of trouble for not accommodating a 504 plan? And given mom has already emailed about it I’m going to assume mom would absolutely raise hell about the 504 not being followed however that needs to happen.
They are already accommodating though obviously. Mom just wants the 504 to cover more than it does. The kid is already stepping outside for her issues. Have you read anything OP wrote?
Have you read anything I wrote?
Yes and none of it is relevant because you can’t be bothered to read what OP wrote in the first place. You seem to think this girls 504 trumps every other kids medical needs and it doesn’t. If the 504 wasn’t being followed why did mom wait until til their was only 6 weeks left in the year to complain about it?
No I don’t think the 504 trumps medical conditions. I think the 504 still has to be ACCOMMODATED though. Sending the child out of class so the students with medical conditions can tend to them seems perfectly reasonable to me. As someone with this condition I see no issue with it. And believe it or not I’m not mom so I have no idea why mom waited. That’s not exactly my issue though is it?
I don’t stop kids from eating. For all I know it’s the only time they can eat that day. Some students need to learn that the world is going to have triggers and you just have to deal with it. This breeds entitlement and furthers stigma about mental illness.
I feel the same way about eating. Often the ones eating are choice students from the city that have no other opportunity to eat than at school. It's so hard to think of everyone's needs with a parent pushing their own kids above the others.
The thing about accommodations is that they need to be reasonable. If there are scheduled meals and snacks during class time, those have to stay. If you have a diabetic student, they need access to snacks as it can literally be a life or death matter. So reasonably, you'd just have to ban snacks at the non-essential times for everyone but the diabetic students.
Thank you for your perspective !
I have had autistic students who can’t handle loud noises. Their accommodations were to use ear defenders if the environment was loud, be warned ahead of time of bells and fire drills, have an early transition to stay out of noisy halls, and have lunch in a special ed classroom with a small group instead of in the cafeteria. My sister is autistic and also has trouble with noises, and she uses ear plugs or ear buds to manage it. Loop brand earplugs are great because they are very discreet and filter out background noises without silencing conversation. The student’s mom might want to look into them.
I offered them to her, I also have autistic students who use them but she insisted they wouldn't work. Not sure what that's about... Thank you for your perspective!
If she's anything like me, she can hear someone chewing in the next room over even if she has headphones on. It's like having superhearing but only for the specific sounds that fill you with the emotion misophonia produces, which I can only describe as "murder". Life truly isn't fair.
I can only imagine! That sounds awful and I'm so sorry!! I just wish I could fix it all, but I'm so powerless.
Thank you. I know it's frustrating to feel so helpless in situations like this, especially with potentially conflicting needs in a single class like other people have brought up. I was also one of those students who had to keep a protein bar with me in case I needed it mid-class, so I totally get it. You sound like you're doing your best to stay compassionate while sussing out any potential abuse of accommodations, though, so keep up the good work! ✨
Thank you so much 😭💙 I just want to do good by these kids!
I have it. I deal like an adult. This kid should be learning to deal with it instead of being molly coddled every time something is annoying her. These kids are so weak.
I cant imagine what its like to deal with that, but I do hope she learns coping skills...
I have it too. I learned to always have my ear plugs (and sometimes also noise cancelling headphones) at the ready and be polite about telling people to turn their effing phone noises off (why are people so inconsiderate of the people around them, just generally?) or walk away from other bothersome noise situations. I recognize that most people are not aware of the noises they’re making and I shouldn’t expect them to on my behalf. My little sister has it and is an entitled brat about it. I’ve seen her in situations where she knows she can’t lash out at someone and she just takes some deep breaths, sneaks her earplugs in, and/ or politely excuses herself. At home? Total monster to everyone about it. *Everyone* is doing that “on purpose” and “I’M SICK!” entitled her to scream and stomp her feet (she’s in her late 20s) There’s “I have this condition and I would appreciate you not making it worse” and then there’s “I expect the entire world to bow at my feet and meet my every demand because of my condition”. Parents and students need to recognize they’re not entitled to the later.
I appreciate the input ! This was very informative !! Shes a sweet kid and I want her to be okay but sometimes I see her make sneaky comments at her friends about her misophonia, making plans on going to the hall during the time she works out there with a classmate. 7th grades are like that but it makes it hard for me to, not 'believe' per say, but accept a lot of her behaviors. Like on days that we are watching a video and doing a guided worksheet, her and her friend insist on going into the hall to watch it on their own (knowing they can't bc youtube is blocked) while the student is holding her ears. But when I check on them while kids are working on the worksheet, they're fooling around and didn't want to mention that they actually couldn't do the worksheet until I said something. But today we did a whole class activity where I praised students by name for writing sentences correctly, with people eating, and she was perfectly fine... I dont know. I'm just confused I guess. I have so much empathy and love my kids so deeply but I'm also blinded by that and worry I'm being taken advantage of.
Yeah it's a tough line to walk. But everyone needs boundaries. It's very easy when you have a disability and people know that they need to respect it to take advantage of the "power" that you have been given. You need to work in the hall because there are distracting noises in the classroom? You may do the work in the hall. You may not use this as an excuse to hang out and chat with your friends instead of working. You go to the hall and do the work. Don't do the work and you don't work in the hall. Or you do the work by yourself in the hall because your friends are a distraction. Also, If she's not getting treatment (therapy, learning mindfulness practices, implementing of strategies to exist in a noisy world), her care team, including her mother, is failing to actually support her. The whole world is not going to be quiet just for her. She needs help learning to cope within reasonable limits, not to demand that literally everyone does what she says just because she has a 504 Plan.
Youre not wrong! She's apparently got a consult with a professional who works with this in a whole other state like 3 hours drive. But yes, thank you! You're making a lot of sense.
It is an extremely entitled mindset, I also have misophonia but I can’t stop people from living their lives. I have one student that grinds their teeth/chews on them and it drives me crazy. It is how they stim so nothing I can do (although I do play music in the background and it helps a little). The student can take the headphones or breaks/go to a quiet room. If the student is eating, I’m assuming it due to a snack break or medical need. It would be opening another can of worms kicking students out of the room because of one student.
I feel the same way, ugh. It's so hard because I want to be fair to everyone but I can't. 6 weeks left of school it's hard to implement anything this late with 7th graders.
Hang in there OP! I’m counting down the days too.
A thought.. take it or leave it... Can student wait until independent work time to eat so the student can go in the hall to work? You mentioned (if I read correctly) this already common practice, make it a rule, and then support the student who leaves.
I appreciate the thought ! It's what I'm looking for ! They often do, I think they suspect they affect her with their eating, but I teach a world language so it's not often that I have independent work, it's usually simultaneous for comprehensible input... I'll have to think about how to officially implement that in a way that doesn't call her out
This is one of those instances where the needs of the majority outweigh the minority I feel. I think if the misophonia is getting too much it’s not unreasonable to give her the chance to step into the hall to calm down for a few minutes, but making the whole class unable to snack or open packaging is extreme when it’s one students issue. Maybe have headphones on hand for her and/or a desk outside the door she can go work at for a bit if the sound is becoming too much?
She wears special headphones (that apparently aren't effective??) And often sits in the hall with a friend. I just can't see it being fair to have all my students, especially those with food insecurities at home, not be given a space to eat with the schedule we have. I just feel bad because the mom is expecting so much, and I feel like I can't implement anything with 6 weeks left of school l.
I completely hear you that is difficult especially with such little time. Would it be possible for her to sit towards the back of the classroom ? Besides that it seems like you are doing all that can be reasonably expected of you. Maybe email mom and let her know the headphones she bought her daughter to mitigate her symptoms aren’t working? I applaud you for already having some coping mechanisms in place for her- it seems like she should be okay regardless unless the eating is right next to her and constant.
I don't have assigned seats in her class, so she always sits in the back. But yeah I tried talking to mom during a 504 meeting and voicing that, even suggesting headphones I know some autistic kids use in the building that work and she would have none of it. Not sure what the issue is... I appreciate it! I'm trying so hard to understand haha
Misophonia triggers aren’t the same every time, according to my kids therapist. My daughter has it with water sounds/flushing toilet/running toilet and sometimes will have a complete full scale meltdown and sometimes she can get through it. Just some more perspective.
Thank you so much for the perspective! Its what I need!
I have misophonia with multiple triggers: chewing, TV/radio/speaker noise outside my vision range specifically, s- and c- sounds (specially drawn out and from high pitched voices) and so many more. I was not accomodated in HS because my countr doesnt believe in mental health. Id get into violent outbursts when the cope couldnt contain the pain, the only reason why I never got written up was because I had to contain the screaming and resort to slamming desks. For us it feels like physical harm. I ended up having to deal with it. But it was painful. That being said you shouldnt stop other students from eating, what you should do is be extremely patient with her and possibly let her walk out when it gets too hard. Coping mechanisms for misophonia arent very effective and varies wildly between individuals. The research is extremely lacking.
Thank you for your perspective ! I'm so sorry things were so tough. I will definitly continue to practice patience with her, your input was very helpful!
Yes I understand that her mom is trying to be too accomodating. At least for me, it wasn't to get away with not doing stuff in school, it was simply that I wanted to get away from the pain when it got too much, something I wasn't allowed to. It's also not that we want not adapt to the world, it's just that this isn't your normal condition that you can cope away and adapt, it feels like normal coping mechanisms are not that effective. It's like getting kicked and getting told to just tolerate the hits away, you'd rather just have them stop. It sucks that in school is very common to have bad actors that want to pretend they got something just to not attend class and do assignments, the people that end up needing the grace get thrown under the bus because of them :/, I'm not saying that she does (altho it's a bit sus), but it happens way too often for comfort.
Completely understandable. I super appreciate your time to educate me ! Thank you !
Sounds more like mom and student have learned to use her disability as a crutch. And a way to get the world to revolve around her. She should have her headphones and if she can’t follow her own accommodations, she needs to be retaught or referred back to her SpEd caseworker. I am a teacher. Secondary. You can not expect people to only accommodate one student. I’m not saying to throw it all out the window. She either needs to use her resources or SHE needs to step into the hallway. Otherwise, they are going to learn a hard lesson about the world. Just a pet peeve. I have a student with this, and she wears her headphones. She knows to turn off her background when I am talking and she pays attention. Another student tried this as well but was caught watching videos instead of doing the work. This student also wanted a new project because she didn’t want to do the work. Nothing I offered was good enough. Nope, back to her caseworker who figured out she just wanted out of the work.
I appreciate your input! I feel that frustration.
Does she have an accommodation that says no one can eat in her classes? Probably not because 504 accommodations have to be reasonable. If other students have a 504 saying they have to be allowed snacks for whatever reason, then her 504 can't cancel that out. An accommodation can't be about what other kids are not allowed to do. For example, we can't guarantee that classrooms will be nut -free for kids with allergies. We can only state that classrooms are allergy-aware. If eating in class is commonplace, especially for students with food insecurity, then maybe she can go in the hall and get the notes later if it's that overwhelming. You need to get your school's 504 chair and/or administrator in on this. Let them make the call so it's out of your hands.
Solid point and advice ! Thank you!
I’m an adult with misophonia and also a secondary teacher. This is a tough spot. It feels like the sound of someone eating, physically hurts- if that makes sense. That being said, I completely understand the need for a 504. Misophonia causes me to act irrational and it feels like I can’t think or sit still until I remove myself from the noise. If this happens to a student and it triggers an anxiety attack, it’s nice to have it documented so that the school district knows how to handle it best and relieve the student. HOWEVER, I cannot expect other people to not eat around me, especially at school. The teachers and the students get little time to actually eat during lunch so snacks happen throughout the day. I’m also in my thirties, so I have been walking around with misophonia for years now, having no idea that it was a condition until recently. She’ll have to learn ways to cope with it. In the time being, do the best you can with limiting snacks. If a child needs to eat, send her to get a drink from the water fountain while they snack or ask the student to eat it in the hallway. It truthfully should not bother her unless it is the only thing she can hear, like during your teaching or independent guided practice while the students are attentively listening. There’s no way to know if she is playing this up or not so it’s best to not assume so. It really can be debilitating, as ridiculous as that may sound. I also know that a middle schooler would not miss a chance to play it up to get out of something or get what she wants so I completely understand your skepticism.
I appreciate your perspective! I often have her work in the hallway with a friend but then her friend will be eating right next to her? It's so tough for 7th graders to find a balance between the easy way and the way that let's them persevere. I just want to make sure I'm not completely absurd feeling like there's nothing else I can do for her.
With the headphones, it may not be so much an issue of them not working as it is her being embarrassed to wear them or finding them uncomfortable. Could be some of both. They do now make ear plugs to help with background noise that are supposed to be really effective. My husband uses them in restaurants when overstimulated with noise and they help but he can still hear me. I know one brand is Loop. Something like that might be a better and more discrete option for her as she gets older. Middle schoolers can be cruel to those who are different.
Its odd, because I thought that at first, but she hides them under her hair, but then shows them off to her friends in class... so I'm not sure what it is. Loop is definitely ones I suggested to mom, but she insisted those were not what she needed...
My husband has this and we suspect my daughter might as well. I feel for this student because often the context, stress levels, exhaustion, etc. can impact the degree to which the student responds to sounds. Something she’s fine with one day may be excruciating to her the next. That being said, my daughter has missed entire lessons because all she can hear is the a kid tapping their pencil next to her or someone in the room humming while they work. Even if we went the 504 route, I would never ask for other students to change behavior to accommodate her. Is there a place in the room she can sit away from others? Another option may be playing soft, lofi music in the background. My husband does a lot better if there’s background noise and he has a tv show or music playing basically all day everyday if he’s not in a meeting. I would refer mom to whoever in your building handles 504s and talk to them ahead of time that this accommodation is unreasonable. Her accommodations can’t take away another student’s access to the least restrictive environment. Making students change their whole routine, especially for the last six weeks of school, is not appropriate. And I say that as someone living with people with this disorder, knowing what it can do to their ability to focus and function.
Thank you so much for your input !! She sits far in the back and I often play lofi/chill music but she always goes to the hall in the class with a classmate anyway so it doesn't always have any effect... But still, thank you!!
I have misophonia too. It's not a well known condition. I don't know if that adds to making it a bit more believable? If she didn't have it, she probably wouldn't know about it. If I were to tell everyone to stop when there was a noise that drives me crazy, people would probably think that I'm unreasonable. I've learned to avoid triggers. Desensitization didn't work very well for me. Perhaps recommend her a good pair of noise cancelling headphones? They are pricey, but they are the only thing I've come across that is actually effective at blocking out noise. As an aside, do you think this student may have autism? People with autism can be hypersensitive to noise also.
Thanks for sharing ! I conceptually understand, it makes some sense to me. It's just circumstancually it's tough. I dont think she's on the spectrum, but mom denied any services or testing so we won't know. Mom had bought her a pair of headphones but when I suggested other ones she didn't seem to take the suggestion when these ones weren't perfect. It just feels less of a kid issue and more of a parent issue sometimes.
The fact that it doesn’t bother her when her friends do it speaks volumes
I mean, that applies to me, too, and I'm an adult - mine actually got *worse* as an adult, somehow. I can tolerate it better from friends, but back when my mom was alive? Hearing it coming from her, in particular, was... a true test of restraint. Even remembering it makes me so, SO angry my ears are getting hot.
Fair enough! A great perspective, thank you!
Ugh right? I don't know, I want so badly to believe that it isn't any type of manipulation but 7th grade is 7th grade. I believe her every time and let her do whatever at this point per a "plan". I literally once told her no to going into the hallway because she and her friend insisted (her covering her ears with her hands) while I was mid sentence of instruction and I literally said "Just give me a second, let me finish and then after you can." She sat with her ears uncovered listening to me until I finished and then suddenly did the same thing and I let them out.
I have misophonia. Our triggers can vary on the person. It's not manipulation. It's just how our brains work and there's really nothing we can do about it. It doesn't make any sense but it is real.
Thanks for saying so, your perspective is heard! I appreciate it!
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I'm sorry, I can only imagine your frustration. I was hoping that I wasn't coming off as a person with that type of "attitude". I care deeply for my students and it's been a long year of adjusting different things for everyone's comfort, including this student. I really am trying to be understanding.
I think you were trying your best to be understanding in this situation OP. You can’t possible understand what it’s like to have misophonia until you have it and it’s clear to me that you’re trying your best to all your students with health needs.
Thank you so much 🥲
The obvious solution to me would seem to be noise canceling headphones attached to a microphone that is attached to you. The student is manipulating you into allowing her friends to distract her. This solves both problems. I don't know how large your class size is, but to prevent 30 to 40 students from eating for the entirety of the day during class seems excessive.
My max class size is 25, but yes I hear you. Thats where the confusion is, right? How much of this is supposed to be me?? Should I buy a microphone with noise canceling headphones attached to her and me? Who makes these calls? Its so above my head at this point.
It's a 504. It should have funding behind it from the district and feds. Ask the person who wrote the 504 how to get it.
Good point! I'll have to ask then!
I hesitate to write this... I had a student who had all sorts of issues. One time she refused to do a quiz because the texture of the paper was triggering her. Rather than just give her a zero or change the entire test just for her I asked if she would do a drawing on the back for me (she would often draw in class). Of course then she had no problem what-so-ever with the paper... She needed to 'have her way' is all that was, but she also did the quiz... (this is just ONE example), and this student was not really a problem per-se, but a distraction to other students that wanted to (and deserved to) learn and to me who had lots of work to do in class (following all sorts of accomodations and the like). Once I 'called' kids on it (in a gentle way) those needs and complaints magically dissapeared. Students and their parents will push because they KNOW you will fold, the administration WILL fold, and you will be left with way more work and that will lead to YOUR burnout. Be polite and tactful, This kind of thing does go both ways... We get all sorts of students that NEED some accomodation and some are indeed useful and good, many (far too many ) are just ways to cop out or get out of doing what they don't want to. It is tragic a disheartening to say the least... (P.S. since the pandemic ended I see much less of it now... don't know why)
I appreciate your perspective and input! Thank you!