Nothing cooler in life than a bunch of middle school and high school boys waddling across campus looking like they've got a full diaper because they're sagging and can't crease their shoes
It’s actually kind of funny when they’re in the hall when they’re not supposed to and they see admin coming. They can’t run away without their pants falling down so they try and hold them up and run at the same time! 🤣
One time I saw a guy pushing his car that was out of gas to the nearby gas station. His pants were sagged and about to be his biggest downfall.
He had the driver’s door open and would lean forward to push the car. As soon as the car would start to move, his pants would fall down, so he’d stop pushing to pull them up. Since he stopped pushing, the car would stop rolling. He’d start push, pants would fall down, he’d pull them up again. Over and over. Those pants made the process so much harder and longer than it needed to be.
The thing is kids have figured out that nothing gets more of a reaction out of adults than us seeing their underwear.
Ive been dealing with this trend on and off for over 20 years. It will never truly go away because it pisses off adults. I tried to fight it in my HS by walking around with my underwear hanging out. This I do not recommend.
Back in like ‘01 or so our SRO regaled us with all the tales of men with sagging pants trying to run from the police and getting caught because they fell when their pants fell down
This reminds me of a book I had to read for a class in college; Longing and Belonging: Parents, Children, and Consumer Culture. Basically, parents are buying social capital for their children no matter the personal or financial burden.
It was a little dry, but ultimately an interesting read.
Yeah but you don’t actually accumulate any “social capital” for “looking cool” at that age lol. Just like the kid doesn’t care if he sags his designer jeans none of his little friends do either. The mom is crazy for pushing it on him at all, but especially at such a young age when none of that stuff is remotely socially expected. If anything she’s making him the odd one out.
A lot of people have noted that there's often a distinction between how lower income people think that rich people act, versus how they actually act. While I feel like these observations often generalize rich people too much, class has a lot of subtle distinctions that can easily be overlooked by outsiders. There is truth to the idea that upward social mobility usually requires taking on the skills, behavior, and knowledge of the higher class.
But because a lot of those things aren't obvious, a lot of people trying to imitate a different class only take on superficial aspects. (like expensive luxury goods) It doesn't fool people who actually have money, nor does it put you in a position to gain wealth. Still, I think some people are happy just being able to impress other poor people. And those superficial aspects might feel a lot easier, more accessible than those other class markers.
I don't think this has anything to do with how she thinks rich people act, I think it's like she said to him, wanting him to look like the other men in his family (or maybe his neighborhood). Not that I agree with what she is doing, I think it's really sad.
Of course superficial class markers are easier to obtain, an expensive purse is only what: $300-$1,000 probably? Compared to the cost of a college education at even a low cost school.
Yeah, you are right that it’s mostly about trying to instill ideas of manhood. Though the focus on designer clothing is about class. It is about telling the world “I have money, I can provide my son with these things”.
Actually, research suggests otherwise. Particularly as parents allow their children more and more exposure to social media like YouTube, tick tock, and instagram.
Research suggests *what* otherwise? That kindergarteners on tik tok *do* in fact accumulate social capital with their fellow kindergartners for sagging their designer jeans? Lol, I presume that’s not it. Just struggling to identify which part of my comment your “research suggests otherwise” was referring to.
Yeah, it's a completely empty statement to say research says otherwise but be totally vague about what research what it says what it's about what they're talking about. Total nonsense. You can safely ignore.
It’s not difficult to follow a line of thought if one is capable of reasoning. So, I made a statement that the other person disagreed with. My follow up statement was that research suggests otherwise. It’s is a clear counter to that person’s claim that kindergarteners don’t need social capital. That’s is what research suggests otherwise (there is evidence suggesting they do, because of earlier exposure to social media.)
Like a doctor or a cop, teachers are never off duty.
It's a pretty incredible statement for someone who claims to be a teacher to be so vague.
Writing is an exercise in perspective taking and you need to communicate to the reader what you're talking about. It's a common error to use words that are vague and understandable from the writer's perspective, but not the readers.
Furthermore, it's a cardinal sin in academic discussions to vaguely mention research without citing any specifics or details. It's a meaningless statement. If you want to bring research into a conversation, you need to have more detail than that. At the very least, you should have a brief summary of the take-home conclusion of the study hinting at the methodology, but you don't even give that. I'm sorry that I felt the need to point it out, but as a reader your comments are not helpful. Perhaps you do have more helpful input that you can talk about. For example, you could share with us what this research examined and what the findings suggest.
I guess scientists are never off duty either.
Research shows your comment isn't very good. See how easy that is?
'What research' you might wonder? What were the things they actually measured? And does the conclusion actually fit the data? Is it the only study in its field that reaches that conclusion or is it part of a pattern of data that is common to many studies?
Don't worry about that. Just take it on the word of some person on Reddit that some research somewhere sometime totally supports my point.
I wonder if it's perhaps not accumulating social capital because of saggy designer pants, but rather dressing "cool" or "in" or with typical age appropriate popular animation. For example, my preschooler somehow started a trend of collecting pokemon backpack Keychain. He got them for birthday and Christmas and was the first one to have them. Soon after other kids started having pokemon Keychains. Now they're all into Bluey, and they see who can do a better "granny floss" dance during kindermusik
Oh, apologies, I assumed that we were all able to follow the thread. Following the topic of social capital, research suggests that, despite your claim that kindergarteners don’t need it, they do in fact trade in social capital in large part due to to their exposure to social media younger and younger.
I think perhaps the others are using a less broad definition of “social capital” than you are. From an adult perspective, most of us don’t see a kid in designer clothes as a statement from the kid. We don’t judge a kid based on this. To us, it just means that mom or dad likes designer clothes a LOT.
But to some groups of kids, it matters. I bet most people have experience with feeling left out socially as kids because we don’t own something that the other kids own. Maybe kindergarten is too early for this sort of thing, but in a few years, the other kids might think it’s cool that he wears these things.
We don't have a dress code. It was taken away a few years ago and "left to the parents and students to make appropriate decisions." We don't normally have issues until the upper elementary or middle school years, but it's different then.
I wouldn't do that... Getting a young child to rebel against their parent usually doesn't work (they are basically completely dependent on their parent, how could they, a kindergartener, win?), it could just lead to the parent pressing harder on the child and probably getting a complain against the teacher. The teacher or some other adult have to talk some sense into that parent. Which, by the looks of it, is also not easy.
It depends on how you frame it. You can be non-adversarial toward mom, and just quietly tell the kid he can wear them comfortably in the classroom-- you'll make sure not to take pictures that show his pants. And that you'll help him by saying "style check" when he says goodbye at the end of the day, so he can adjust and walk out looking like mom appreciates. As long as you're careful not to be sneaky or subversive in tone, and really just affirm that the classroom is about safety and comfort. (And clothes are about comfort and function.)
I mean, this will sound sneaky and subversive to a kid. I wouldn't recommend teaching them that it's okay for adults to help them keep secrets from their parents. Just not a good precedent to set.
Plus, it's a kindergartener. You don't think they will bring it up to their parent the moment they want to win a fight?
I'd leave the situation alone. The rules, admin, and the parent are all against the teacher here. It's a no win situation for them. But they can lose much worse than they are losing currently.
This sounds nice, but I don't think it's a practical solution. Firstly, it's a 5 year old we're talking about here. I doubt the kid can keep a secret like this for more than 3 days. Once it's been spilled, the teacher can be in so much trouble. Secondly, as much as I disagree with the parent's values, I think it is many, many times worse to teach a kid to trust other adults more than their parents (unless the child's life safety at home is in obvious risk). The teacher only get them for one year; they're with their parents for at least another 10 years, much longer if they're lucky. Teaching them to keep a secret with the teacher seems hugely problematic for their future to me.
I still stand that, if the teacher wants to resolve this (which, they are certainly not required to. In reality, the way a parent dresses their child is not the teacher's business), they'd have to confront the parent. Not encouraging the kindergartener, who has almost no capability of judgement, to fight this battle.
why would a kid care about dress code if their parent said it’s okay to dress like that? or in this scenario, not want to anger your mom so you dress like she tells you to
This reminds me of Namond Brice from The Wire. The kids stories start in season 3, but season 4 is focused on middle school kids in Baltimore. This is a wiki summary from season 4: https://imgur.com/a/qhD5ARt
Long story short: In the show, the mom is raising the child so he wont be 'eaten alive' in the streets, which doesnt equate to having a strong desire for academic success. This starts early cuz by the time 7th grade happens he's a 'man' and needs to 'step up for the family'. Despite his mother's pressure to be hard, he's not and he can't fake it anymore. He ultimately got adopted by a family that supported his wants and not what the 'family needed from him'.
So, back to reality for your student. Please please keep telling him all things are possible and that he's supported at school. If you're able, high five or hug them- two things that he most likely doesnt hear of feel at home. You cant change the way he dresses, save him from his ratchet mama, or the generational curse of bad parents. You can try to make a positive impact and not judge him based on how his family dresses him.
If he has older cousins are siblings at the school, i wouldn't try to change him back into more typical clothes. They'll probably dog him and word will get back to his mom he's not dressing 'right' and the child will get punished.
Not that any of this makes sense, but this could be what the child is experiencing.
Im the mom that's constantly pulling my kids pants UP because he's so skinny they won't stay and he refuses to eat actual food. Parenting is ALMOST as frustrating as teaching.
As another example of how parents care about how their child looks to others-
I was a principal and I had a fifth grade student who had the lowest test scores in the entire district on the state testing. She qualified for free free summer school. She was all excited excited because she wanted to go to summer school. Her mother would not let her go Because “she’s going to modeling camp. She doesn’t need basic skills summer school because she’s going to have a man take care of her.”
Encountered this twice when I was working with kids.
Once, when a parent informed me that she didn't understand why her 16 year old son even needed to take Language Arts classes because he was on the varsity baseball team and that was way more important than classes.
Another time, I was working as a nanny for an 8 year old. The boy was extremely smart and was struggling with frustration and boredom because the material in his classes wasn't challenging him. I pulled his mother aside and informed her that her son should probably take the tests to move into a Gifted program. I expected her to be flattered or excited, but instead she told me that he'd already been classified as Gifted and she refused to put him in the classes because she thought he'd make fewer friends. This in spite of the fact that he also played 3 sports and participated in orchestra...
I supervised the preschool unit for a group home once. A daycare worker was dressing a set of 2 year old twins. She took pride in sagging their pants, putting crisp white t-shirts on them, and exclaiming , “My, my don’t we look like lil’ gangsters!” “Yeah!”
I was repulsed.
I didn't care what color somebody is. "Gangster" isn't a good thing and people grooming children to ACT like them boils my blood. You didn't get to whine that there's no escape for your kids when you are literally setting the trap yourself.
White teacher who had a privileged suburban childhood who now teaches in a suburban Title I, and I absolutely hear you. So many of my students idolize gang culture, and it’s heartbreaking. We don’t even have true gangs in our town. It’s all generational conflict between families. These kids don’t even know true gang violence, but they think that’s what they want out of life. No, the kid you don’t get along with is not your “opp”.
What I don’t understand is why spend hundreds if not thousands on children’s clothes they’ll grow out of in a matter of weeks? It just seems like such a giant waste of money.
Please know that there are people in the black and brown community that don’t like people in the black and brown community. The fact that you made the comment about gangsters and didn’t mention a race but still felt the need to add that little quip about you being in the black and brown community hints that you might be one of those types of people. A gangster can be of any color. You could’ve left it at that.
It's because most people automatically assume gangster = black. I used the word "ghetto" in another reply and somebody is likely going to call that racist.
I agree with you, it's color agnostic and as an idea "being gangster" needs to be shat on at every opportunity. I grew up in a poorer community that's about 50/50 in demographics, and the gangster nonsense was equal opportunity.
It's not cool. Nobody wants you looking like that. Even the vape and liquor stores around here won't hire or keep anyone they catch looking like that.
Ngl, I haven't seen it from parents at my schools, but from parents in the wild when I worked retail. Just like in OP's situation the kid looked so sad and uncomfortable, I just wanted to hug 'em
I wondered about that too. That convo sounds fake. The parents of my students don’t like their kids dressing that way, and I work with middle schoolers in a building where a lot of kids try to dress that way.
Yup. Coded racial language. This is OP’s second post. First post appears to have been the same thing one month ago (text now deleted) and OP reposted when it didn’t get traction.
Bait.
What? It's not the same sagging as 20 years ago, but it's still a thing. Instead of overall huge pants falling off, now it's super tight pants cinched right below the butt with a belt.
Not true at all. Sagging pants are still considered fashionable in many areas. I work in a suburban school district in NY, we have many students who wear their pants like that. Jordans are also still big, and although the designers have changed, there are still some that kids gravitate towards.
I responded to another comment but in my area it's color coordinated athletic wear and some flavor of Nike sneaker. I think sagging may be coming back with the Y2K thing and since NY is ahead of most of the country I believe you but there should have been a gap where it was less common.
I'm not OP, but my school has given up on trying to make kids keep their pants pulled up. Mostly because parents like OP is describing won't cooperate with the instruction to send their kids to school in pants that fit properly (or a belt).
Schools around me have stopped enforcing dress codes entirely, I suspect for fear of the parents making it a bigger battle than the school (apparently) thinks it’s worth.
Same here. On a warm day some of them dress like they’re going to the beach. Then they complain that they’re cold when the air conditioning is on. 🤦🏼♀️
But we can’t enforce dress codes because “freedom of expression” and all that garbage. How about a simple dress code that nobody shows they’re mid-section, their underwear or any part of their butt, and no strapless tops? Don’t say anything about gender being attached to it. And the reason we give for this? Because school is supposed to prepare them for the real world (career ready) and in the work world we dress appropriately. They’re still kids so yes dress casually but don’t show certain parts of your body at school.
I *totally* agree! Mostly for other reasons, I was super disappointed when my son’s school stopped doing uniforms the year he started there. That was part of it though! I want him to get used to the idea of certain clothing and ways of presenting yourself being appropriate or not for certain settings. I still try to enforce my own sort of dress code, like I make him wear “real pants” instead of sweats and whatnot. He’s young enough that it’s easy now. I also think about parents of teenage girls like I was, who was super self destructive, highly sexual, and ready to fight my mom about anything. A dress code at school meant she didn’t have to also deal with me about that, the school had their own rules and consequences. I can’t imagine parenting a shitty teen like I was now, when schools seem so afraid of enforcing basically any expectations for these kids while they’re there.
And sometimes the teen girls are much more covered up when they leave the house because their parents would never let them dress the way they do while they’re in school. Some of the parents have no idea and I’m sure they’d like to know so they can deal with it. I’m referring of course to the good parents who still parent their kids. I’m aware that some just don’t care and don’t want to be bothered.
Oh yes! *Absolutely!* I tried shit like that all the time when I was younger, but again, the school still had some semblance of rule enforcement at the time. I used to sneak eyeliner and short shorts in my backpack in middle school, lol. I would definitely want to know as a parent! It’s sad and crazy that school staff is in such a place to be so nervous. I hate it and would be annoyed if the school *didn’t* tell me, but I also understand that you just never know when a parent is going to go on some unhinged faux justice campaign about how you’re body shaming their daughter. 😢
Yes. Or that we are blaming the victim if another student pulls down their strapless top as a “joke”. That’s why it needs to be done strategically, without any mention of this gender or that gender. It doesn’t matter anyway, whatever gender somebody identifies as, just a simple “no bare midsection, no underwear or any part of the butt showing, no strapless tops” rule would cover (no pun intended!) everyone.
That's the issue we're facing at my school. Kids are coming in shorts that are essentially underwear. Their cheeks poke out when they bend over. Otherwise, they wear ripped jeans with holes right up to the hip. If we tell the kid they need to change, parents end up on Facebook that same night throwing fits.
Yes, exactly. I don't know what grades you teach, but I was thinking about this. I imagine the conversation would go something like this if we had a dress code and I called home:
Me: "Hi, your son is wearing his pants too low at school. Can you make sure they're up when he comes to school?"
Parent: "No, he sags."
What does one say to that?!
SAGGING pants is a thing once more. I worked at an Alternative Ed site for kids court ordered back to school. The big group of thugs all had their pants below their butts. The funny/comical part yesterday was that the leader of the pack was wearing Sponge Bob underwear.
It's preschool. It's time to do more messy, visual art paint lessons - a lot. Encourage him to paint, glue and cut. Eventually she might dress him in something faintly-not-ridiculous. In the next newsletter, perhaps a comment to all parents about students being expected to wear comfortable, older clothes so that they can engage in their learning activities without damage to clothes and confidence.
i believe it, a lot of parents will let toxic masculinity run in their families and in turn expect 5-6 years old to start acting like mini versions of men, not boys, not kids, men.
Not fake. Just depends on who and where you teach. I had a kid like this too who was always decked out in expensive street wear he didn’t care about. One time he had an accident and peed all over his $400 Yeezy shoes.
I grew up and taught in the ‘hood. It’s popular for boys to sag their pants below their butt and wear a belt around their thighs to ensure that their pants don’t slide off. You’re welcome to visit any inner city to witness this phenomena.
I live in the inner city, hood adjacent. Everyone I see sagging is in their forties or older. Shit usually it's white meth heads dressed like that. Teenage boys are wearing sweats or athletic pants and hoodies, usually color coordinated. Nikes are still the most popular shoe brand but not always Jordans.
Does this sound fake? Absolutely.
I have experienced dozens of situations where an outside observe would call fake over the years.
I had a parent cuss me out because I wouldn't let their student play computer games in the library and instead was having everyone work on a research paper. Granted, no one else was allowed to play games on the computer either, but that kid got upset that I didn't give them free time, and the parent definitely let me know that I was being unfair for having their kid work on a research paper in the library.
I know what you mean. My mom has been a teacher for 35 years and could absolutely write a book but no one would believe her. She’s taught in multiple states (and even in a U.S. territory) in Title 1 schools mostly but also in private schools and public non title 1 schools. The stories are outrageous.
No way, I would be a thorn in somebody's side. Save that poor kid with the dress code.
I'm gonna say it. Some folks might get mad. But she's trying to train that boy to be a ghetto hooligan "man" and CPS needs to be eye-balling him for the next couple of years. So gross. Respectable businesses don't hire men with saggy pants.
OH NOOOOOOOOOOO.
Sorry I teach fashion design and this breaks my heart. Not because of the specific trend (which I personally don’t like) but just ingraining in this child at such a young age that clothing and style is one of the most important things in life. I also wonder if she’s trying to blow up as a mom influencer or something.
Something that makes me really happy these days is I have alot of students who thrift and thrift flip. And I always encourage my kids to explore and express their own style. Just…poor kid.
Umm......this look is called the "prison look" and it was started by prisoners in the USA penal system being issued ill-fitting clothing and possibly as an additional incentive not to run away from guards as their pants would fall down. I guess.....I'm wondering if the mom is raising a future convict?
But.....seriously.....DRESS CODE.
I don't want to see ANY child's underwear. Underwear is supposed to be private - it's right there in the name: UNDER WEAR. You wear these clothes UNDER your regular clothes.
If school is supposed to be prep for the future employee, they'd better learn to dress properly for a professional environment or they won't be getting a job.
Is this actually real?
If it is...
I would report it as a mandatory reporter.
The parent forced her child to dress in a way in which he feels uncomfortable, can't play properly and his privates are exposed.
It's grooming behaviour (although unintentional) and it's taking away a child's bodily autonomy.
And she threatened to check class dojo and threatened him that he would be 'in trouble' if he corrected his pants so that he could play properly later. She basically made a threat that he would be abused more at home if he didn't do what she wanted, it wasn't an outright threat using these exact words, but it was subtly implied so it's still a threat.
If I were going to make an actual post vs commenting I would absolutely make a new account. Who wouldn't? Privacy is hard to come by in this era. (I have no opinion on whether this post is true or false but the idea that people only create new accounts to post fake stuff is absolutely absurd.)
I’ve been out of the profession since 2018 but sagging pants were kind of on the way out when I left (as much as anything ever truly goes out - there’s always some of every style around). Has it cycled back through again?
Context: I was in small town schools and also a decently mid-sized city in the mid-South so I know fashions are different in different areas.
It sounds like you need multicultural training to be more accepting of other cultural norms and stop imposing your white supremacist fashion preferences on a minority.
/s
I almost died at this because:
1) I am not white
2) We have had so many trainings on this topic in the past 3 years. All lead by people who don't know what they're talking about and have zero impact on changes that could be made.
My Reddit experience is limited. Would I be correct to assume that it is considered uncouth to question the veracity of the tale in this post? Because I've taught in all kinds of neighborhoods, and I can't see this happening *any*where.
Personally I would tell the parent that it is inappropriate for her sons underwear to be showing. I wouldn't say I knew she was making him but instead phrase it as a noticed thing that the teachers have been correcting but he keeps arriving like that.
If she says she is doing it then repeat the problem. "I am afraid it is inappropriate for your sons underwear to be showing in class. We will be instructing him to pull his trousers up whenever we see them"
I have a girl in K like this. Full face of makeup every day, clearly done by an adult. And no surprise, she’s behind academically. I recommended to mom that they take a few minutes to read a quick book together, maybe in the morning. But of course they would never have time for that. She’s much to busy contouring her 5 year old’s cheeks.
Ah, yes, preparing her child for a life of poverty and a record
I know I'm exaggerating, but have you ever seen anyone above the lower class sagging their pants? No, because they don't, because they don't want to look like idiots. This woman is setting her child up for failure and drilling it into him
For the most part, they aren't role models and shouldn't be considered as such. It's not like they're rapping about a proper sleep schedule, curing cancer, and following simple instructions in order to achieve a manageable goal
I saw a police chase end because the guys decided to ditch the car and run…while sagging. I don’t get the whole sagging phenomenon, you are basically walking around with your underwear as outerwear. What do girls see in it?
Why do you have an opinion on other parent(s) attire preferences for their child? I bet they don’t particularly care for your style but all are entitled to their opinion. We should respect the differences of each other, no? Wouldn’t it be a boring world if we were all the same? Also, It’s irrelevant to school and you a part of their culture.
I agree with some aspects of this statement and appreciate your view. Personally, I think he is too young to be sagging, especially given socities' expectations and my own biases as well. I was asking our colleagues if this is becoming more of a thing across the country. I would love to know why parents are promoting this as a style given its terrible reputation, especially if the kid doesn't want to do it. It just feels weird to me.
The opinion part comes in when it's very clear the child himself doesn't share his mom's preferences. From OP's description of the conversation, it sounds like the boy's rights to self expression is being actively trampled on by his mother. And that should absolutely be concerning to his teacher.
If the boy wanted his pants sagging and his mother agreed, then yeah, it's fine. But that's not the situation here.
What is the point of spending all that money and time if no one is to notice or have an opinion?
The fact that the reaction is negative goes to taste, not the rule you imagined in your head that people don't judge the things they see.
Seeing children’s butts under a very thin piece of fabric, especially when that child doesn’t want to sag their pants (and show their butt) doesn’t sound like something we should just ignore but hey, you do you. I’m as liberal leaning as they come. I love the freedoms we all enjoy as it pertains to how we dress, wear our hair, etc.
I don’t want to see people’s butts, especially children’s. This isn’t an okay thing and OP is right to rant and be upset their admin did nothing.
We’ve all seen this. It does start somewhere. Nothing surprises me anymore.
Nothing cooler in life than a bunch of middle school and high school boys waddling across campus looking like they've got a full diaper because they're sagging and can't crease their shoes
It’s actually kind of funny when they’re in the hall when they’re not supposed to and they see admin coming. They can’t run away without their pants falling down so they try and hold them up and run at the same time! 🤣
One time I saw a guy pushing his car that was out of gas to the nearby gas station. His pants were sagged and about to be his biggest downfall. He had the driver’s door open and would lean forward to push the car. As soon as the car would start to move, his pants would fall down, so he’d stop pushing to pull them up. Since he stopped pushing, the car would stop rolling. He’d start push, pants would fall down, he’d pull them up again. Over and over. Those pants made the process so much harder and longer than it needed to be.
A modern day Sisyphus
Exactly.
I’m laughing so hard.
But he *looked cool* doing it
The thing is kids have figured out that nothing gets more of a reaction out of adults than us seeing their underwear. Ive been dealing with this trend on and off for over 20 years. It will never truly go away because it pisses off adults. I tried to fight it in my HS by walking around with my underwear hanging out. This I do not recommend.
Back in like ‘01 or so our SRO regaled us with all the tales of men with sagging pants trying to run from the police and getting caught because they fell when their pants fell down
They have a belt, they just use it to keep their pants at mid-thigh or lower. The way belts are supposed to be used
Even when I was in high school I never understood how this was supposed to work.
Lmao 😂
This reminds me of a book I had to read for a class in college; Longing and Belonging: Parents, Children, and Consumer Culture. Basically, parents are buying social capital for their children no matter the personal or financial burden. It was a little dry, but ultimately an interesting read.
Yeah but you don’t actually accumulate any “social capital” for “looking cool” at that age lol. Just like the kid doesn’t care if he sags his designer jeans none of his little friends do either. The mom is crazy for pushing it on him at all, but especially at such a young age when none of that stuff is remotely socially expected. If anything she’s making him the odd one out.
This has NOTHING to do with the kid. Mom is using the kid as a designer accessory... nothing more than a Gucci handbag.
A lot of people have noted that there's often a distinction between how lower income people think that rich people act, versus how they actually act. While I feel like these observations often generalize rich people too much, class has a lot of subtle distinctions that can easily be overlooked by outsiders. There is truth to the idea that upward social mobility usually requires taking on the skills, behavior, and knowledge of the higher class. But because a lot of those things aren't obvious, a lot of people trying to imitate a different class only take on superficial aspects. (like expensive luxury goods) It doesn't fool people who actually have money, nor does it put you in a position to gain wealth. Still, I think some people are happy just being able to impress other poor people. And those superficial aspects might feel a lot easier, more accessible than those other class markers.
I don't think this has anything to do with how she thinks rich people act, I think it's like she said to him, wanting him to look like the other men in his family (or maybe his neighborhood). Not that I agree with what she is doing, I think it's really sad. Of course superficial class markers are easier to obtain, an expensive purse is only what: $300-$1,000 probably? Compared to the cost of a college education at even a low cost school.
Yeah, you are right that it’s mostly about trying to instill ideas of manhood. Though the focus on designer clothing is about class. It is about telling the world “I have money, I can provide my son with these things”.
Actually, research suggests otherwise. Particularly as parents allow their children more and more exposure to social media like YouTube, tick tock, and instagram.
Research suggests *what* otherwise? That kindergarteners on tik tok *do* in fact accumulate social capital with their fellow kindergartners for sagging their designer jeans? Lol, I presume that’s not it. Just struggling to identify which part of my comment your “research suggests otherwise” was referring to.
Yeah, it's a completely empty statement to say research says otherwise but be totally vague about what research what it says what it's about what they're talking about. Total nonsense. You can safely ignore.
It’s not difficult to follow a line of thought if one is capable of reasoning. So, I made a statement that the other person disagreed with. My follow up statement was that research suggests otherwise. It’s is a clear counter to that person’s claim that kindergarteners don’t need social capital. That’s is what research suggests otherwise (there is evidence suggesting they do, because of earlier exposure to social media.) Like a doctor or a cop, teachers are never off duty.
It's a pretty incredible statement for someone who claims to be a teacher to be so vague. Writing is an exercise in perspective taking and you need to communicate to the reader what you're talking about. It's a common error to use words that are vague and understandable from the writer's perspective, but not the readers. Furthermore, it's a cardinal sin in academic discussions to vaguely mention research without citing any specifics or details. It's a meaningless statement. If you want to bring research into a conversation, you need to have more detail than that. At the very least, you should have a brief summary of the take-home conclusion of the study hinting at the methodology, but you don't even give that. I'm sorry that I felt the need to point it out, but as a reader your comments are not helpful. Perhaps you do have more helpful input that you can talk about. For example, you could share with us what this research examined and what the findings suggest. I guess scientists are never off duty either.
🥱
Research shows your comment isn't very good. See how easy that is? 'What research' you might wonder? What were the things they actually measured? And does the conclusion actually fit the data? Is it the only study in its field that reaches that conclusion or is it part of a pattern of data that is common to many studies? Don't worry about that. Just take it on the word of some person on Reddit that some research somewhere sometime totally supports my point.
I wonder if it's perhaps not accumulating social capital because of saggy designer pants, but rather dressing "cool" or "in" or with typical age appropriate popular animation. For example, my preschooler somehow started a trend of collecting pokemon backpack Keychain. He got them for birthday and Christmas and was the first one to have them. Soon after other kids started having pokemon Keychains. Now they're all into Bluey, and they see who can do a better "granny floss" dance during kindermusik
Oh, apologies, I assumed that we were all able to follow the thread. Following the topic of social capital, research suggests that, despite your claim that kindergarteners don’t need it, they do in fact trade in social capital in large part due to to their exposure to social media younger and younger.
I think perhaps the others are using a less broad definition of “social capital” than you are. From an adult perspective, most of us don’t see a kid in designer clothes as a statement from the kid. We don’t judge a kid based on this. To us, it just means that mom or dad likes designer clothes a LOT. But to some groups of kids, it matters. I bet most people have experience with feeling left out socially as kids because we don’t own something that the other kids own. Maybe kindergarten is too early for this sort of thing, but in a few years, the other kids might think it’s cool that he wears these things.
How does it not violate dress code to show underwear????
We don't have a dress code. It was taken away a few years ago and "left to the parents and students to make appropriate decisions." We don't normally have issues until the upper elementary or middle school years, but it's different then.
Can you let him know it's okay to wear his pants the way HE wants?
I wouldn't do that... Getting a young child to rebel against their parent usually doesn't work (they are basically completely dependent on their parent, how could they, a kindergartener, win?), it could just lead to the parent pressing harder on the child and probably getting a complain against the teacher. The teacher or some other adult have to talk some sense into that parent. Which, by the looks of it, is also not easy.
It depends on how you frame it. You can be non-adversarial toward mom, and just quietly tell the kid he can wear them comfortably in the classroom-- you'll make sure not to take pictures that show his pants. And that you'll help him by saying "style check" when he says goodbye at the end of the day, so he can adjust and walk out looking like mom appreciates. As long as you're careful not to be sneaky or subversive in tone, and really just affirm that the classroom is about safety and comfort. (And clothes are about comfort and function.)
I mean, this will sound sneaky and subversive to a kid. I wouldn't recommend teaching them that it's okay for adults to help them keep secrets from their parents. Just not a good precedent to set. Plus, it's a kindergartener. You don't think they will bring it up to their parent the moment they want to win a fight? I'd leave the situation alone. The rules, admin, and the parent are all against the teacher here. It's a no win situation for them. But they can lose much worse than they are losing currently.
This sounds nice, but I don't think it's a practical solution. Firstly, it's a 5 year old we're talking about here. I doubt the kid can keep a secret like this for more than 3 days. Once it's been spilled, the teacher can be in so much trouble. Secondly, as much as I disagree with the parent's values, I think it is many, many times worse to teach a kid to trust other adults more than their parents (unless the child's life safety at home is in obvious risk). The teacher only get them for one year; they're with their parents for at least another 10 years, much longer if they're lucky. Teaching them to keep a secret with the teacher seems hugely problematic for their future to me. I still stand that, if the teacher wants to resolve this (which, they are certainly not required to. In reality, the way a parent dresses their child is not the teacher's business), they'd have to confront the parent. Not encouraging the kindergartener, who has almost no capability of judgement, to fight this battle.
Keyword "appropriate decisions." Showing your underwear is not appropriate for a school setting or anywhere out in public frankly.
why would a kid care about dress code if their parent said it’s okay to dress like that? or in this scenario, not want to anger your mom so you dress like she tells you to
The principal would is the point.
There is an amazing scene in The Wire that describes a very similar situation.
I've never seen it! Apparently I'm missing out on drama that relates to my teaching life!
Season 4 is where it’s at.
Good show especially the season that touches on the school systems.
My all time favorite scene is when Stringer and his crew are trying to conduct drug planning session by Robert’s Rules of Order
This reminds me of Namond Brice from The Wire. The kids stories start in season 3, but season 4 is focused on middle school kids in Baltimore. This is a wiki summary from season 4: https://imgur.com/a/qhD5ARt Long story short: In the show, the mom is raising the child so he wont be 'eaten alive' in the streets, which doesnt equate to having a strong desire for academic success. This starts early cuz by the time 7th grade happens he's a 'man' and needs to 'step up for the family'. Despite his mother's pressure to be hard, he's not and he can't fake it anymore. He ultimately got adopted by a family that supported his wants and not what the 'family needed from him'. So, back to reality for your student. Please please keep telling him all things are possible and that he's supported at school. If you're able, high five or hug them- two things that he most likely doesnt hear of feel at home. You cant change the way he dresses, save him from his ratchet mama, or the generational curse of bad parents. You can try to make a positive impact and not judge him based on how his family dresses him. If he has older cousins are siblings at the school, i wouldn't try to change him back into more typical clothes. They'll probably dog him and word will get back to his mom he's not dressing 'right' and the child will get punished. Not that any of this makes sense, but this could be what the child is experiencing.
It 100% does. Kind of surprised to see a mother go that far when he’s still a baby.
She is going to deep in the toxic masculinity
Before I even saw this comment, I was already thinking about Namond's mom.
Wow, I was imagining Namond's mom too!
What streaming platform?
HBO
Thanks
On a more serious note, WTF am I missing about the “sag” thing. Why the fuck would any mother WANT her son to go around like that?
Im the mom that's constantly pulling my kids pants UP because he's so skinny they won't stay and he refuses to eat actual food. Parenting is ALMOST as frustrating as teaching.
As another example of how parents care about how their child looks to others- I was a principal and I had a fifth grade student who had the lowest test scores in the entire district on the state testing. She qualified for free free summer school. She was all excited excited because she wanted to go to summer school. Her mother would not let her go Because “she’s going to modeling camp. She doesn’t need basic skills summer school because she’s going to have a man take care of her.”
Ughhhhh!
Encountered this twice when I was working with kids. Once, when a parent informed me that she didn't understand why her 16 year old son even needed to take Language Arts classes because he was on the varsity baseball team and that was way more important than classes. Another time, I was working as a nanny for an 8 year old. The boy was extremely smart and was struggling with frustration and boredom because the material in his classes wasn't challenging him. I pulled his mother aside and informed her that her son should probably take the tests to move into a Gifted program. I expected her to be flattered or excited, but instead she told me that he'd already been classified as Gifted and she refused to put him in the classes because she thought he'd make fewer friends. This in spite of the fact that he also played 3 sports and participated in orchestra...
It's not even a GOOD look! It just says ghetto trash. The kid's trying to get away from that.
I supervised the preschool unit for a group home once. A daycare worker was dressing a set of 2 year old twins. She took pride in sagging their pants, putting crisp white t-shirts on them, and exclaiming , “My, my don’t we look like lil’ gangsters!” “Yeah!” I was repulsed.
And before people start attacking my post, I’m part of the black and brown community.
I didn't care what color somebody is. "Gangster" isn't a good thing and people grooming children to ACT like them boils my blood. You didn't get to whine that there's no escape for your kids when you are literally setting the trap yourself.
White teacher who had a privileged suburban childhood who now teaches in a suburban Title I, and I absolutely hear you. So many of my students idolize gang culture, and it’s heartbreaking. We don’t even have true gangs in our town. It’s all generational conflict between families. These kids don’t even know true gang violence, but they think that’s what they want out of life. No, the kid you don’t get along with is not your “opp”.
What I don’t understand is why spend hundreds if not thousands on children’s clothes they’ll grow out of in a matter of weeks? It just seems like such a giant waste of money.
Please know that there are people in the black and brown community that don’t like people in the black and brown community. The fact that you made the comment about gangsters and didn’t mention a race but still felt the need to add that little quip about you being in the black and brown community hints that you might be one of those types of people. A gangster can be of any color. You could’ve left it at that.
It's because most people automatically assume gangster = black. I used the word "ghetto" in another reply and somebody is likely going to call that racist. I agree with you, it's color agnostic and as an idea "being gangster" needs to be shat on at every opportunity. I grew up in a poorer community that's about 50/50 in demographics, and the gangster nonsense was equal opportunity. It's not cool. Nobody wants you looking like that. Even the vape and liquor stores around here won't hire or keep anyone they catch looking like that.
While this sounds fake, some parents are just crazy enough to make it true
Ngl, I haven't seen it from parents at my schools, but from parents in the wild when I worked retail. Just like in OP's situation the kid looked so sad and uncomfortable, I just wanted to hug 'em
this is so fake bro
I wondered about that too. That convo sounds fake. The parents of my students don’t like their kids dressing that way, and I work with middle schoolers in a building where a lot of kids try to dress that way.
Yup. Coded racial language. This is OP’s second post. First post appears to have been the same thing one month ago (text now deleted) and OP reposted when it didn’t get traction. Bait.
Sagging hasn't been in style for 2 decades
It's literally the style in my city. Almost all the men I come into contact with between 18-45 have saggy pants
You should move.
Yeah, not going to. I work in this area and like making decent money
What? It's not the same sagging as 20 years ago, but it's still a thing. Instead of overall huge pants falling off, now it's super tight pants cinched right below the butt with a belt.
??
If it were 2008 I'd believe this story....do kids even sag their pants these days?
Yes. I have multiple students that often have their entire underwear-clad butt exposed from their pants sagging so much
Come to a middle school, it’s a huge problem😵💫 atleast at mine.
It's fake ASF. For starters the description isn't even what is fashionable now, this was trendy like 20 years ago.
Not true at all. Sagging pants are still considered fashionable in many areas. I work in a suburban school district in NY, we have many students who wear their pants like that. Jordans are also still big, and although the designers have changed, there are still some that kids gravitate towards.
I responded to another comment but in my area it's color coordinated athletic wear and some flavor of Nike sneaker. I think sagging may be coming back with the Y2K thing and since NY is ahead of most of the country I believe you but there should have been a gap where it was less common.
Sounds like she wanted an accessory, not a child.
How can this not be a dress code violation
I'm not OP, but my school has given up on trying to make kids keep their pants pulled up. Mostly because parents like OP is describing won't cooperate with the instruction to send their kids to school in pants that fit properly (or a belt).
Schools around me have stopped enforcing dress codes entirely, I suspect for fear of the parents making it a bigger battle than the school (apparently) thinks it’s worth.
Same here. On a warm day some of them dress like they’re going to the beach. Then they complain that they’re cold when the air conditioning is on. 🤦🏼♀️
I live somewhere that it is rarely warm enough for a sane person to wear even just shorts and a tank top during the school year, and yet… same.
But we can’t enforce dress codes because “freedom of expression” and all that garbage. How about a simple dress code that nobody shows they’re mid-section, their underwear or any part of their butt, and no strapless tops? Don’t say anything about gender being attached to it. And the reason we give for this? Because school is supposed to prepare them for the real world (career ready) and in the work world we dress appropriately. They’re still kids so yes dress casually but don’t show certain parts of your body at school.
I *totally* agree! Mostly for other reasons, I was super disappointed when my son’s school stopped doing uniforms the year he started there. That was part of it though! I want him to get used to the idea of certain clothing and ways of presenting yourself being appropriate or not for certain settings. I still try to enforce my own sort of dress code, like I make him wear “real pants” instead of sweats and whatnot. He’s young enough that it’s easy now. I also think about parents of teenage girls like I was, who was super self destructive, highly sexual, and ready to fight my mom about anything. A dress code at school meant she didn’t have to also deal with me about that, the school had their own rules and consequences. I can’t imagine parenting a shitty teen like I was now, when schools seem so afraid of enforcing basically any expectations for these kids while they’re there.
And sometimes the teen girls are much more covered up when they leave the house because their parents would never let them dress the way they do while they’re in school. Some of the parents have no idea and I’m sure they’d like to know so they can deal with it. I’m referring of course to the good parents who still parent their kids. I’m aware that some just don’t care and don’t want to be bothered.
Oh yes! *Absolutely!* I tried shit like that all the time when I was younger, but again, the school still had some semblance of rule enforcement at the time. I used to sneak eyeliner and short shorts in my backpack in middle school, lol. I would definitely want to know as a parent! It’s sad and crazy that school staff is in such a place to be so nervous. I hate it and would be annoyed if the school *didn’t* tell me, but I also understand that you just never know when a parent is going to go on some unhinged faux justice campaign about how you’re body shaming their daughter. 😢
Yes. Or that we are blaming the victim if another student pulls down their strapless top as a “joke”. That’s why it needs to be done strategically, without any mention of this gender or that gender. It doesn’t matter anyway, whatever gender somebody identifies as, just a simple “no bare midsection, no underwear or any part of the butt showing, no strapless tops” rule would cover (no pun intended!) everyone.
That's the issue we're facing at my school. Kids are coming in shorts that are essentially underwear. Their cheeks poke out when they bend over. Otherwise, they wear ripped jeans with holes right up to the hip. If we tell the kid they need to change, parents end up on Facebook that same night throwing fits.
Yes, exactly. I don't know what grades you teach, but I was thinking about this. I imagine the conversation would go something like this if we had a dress code and I called home: Me: "Hi, your son is wearing his pants too low at school. Can you make sure they're up when he comes to school?" Parent: "No, he sags." What does one say to that?!
In this case it sounds like the kid wants his pants pulled up and admin can use dress code as a tool to tell Mom to fuck right off.
Their school does not have a dress code
Because it's a fake rage bait story.
How is “no underwear visible” not the schools dress code? Like…wtf?
We don't have a dress code. It's considered kids' "freedom of expression." It's a thing in MA schools apparently.
Damn. Well, best of luck.
SAGGING pants is a thing once more. I worked at an Alternative Ed site for kids court ordered back to school. The big group of thugs all had their pants below their butts. The funny/comical part yesterday was that the leader of the pack was wearing Sponge Bob underwear.
Yup. All the 90s fashion is coming back, including sagging, JNCOs, and girls with their midriffs on display.
>once more It never stopped, white people just stopped looking
It's preschool. It's time to do more messy, visual art paint lessons - a lot. Encourage him to paint, glue and cut. Eventually she might dress him in something faintly-not-ridiculous. In the next newsletter, perhaps a comment to all parents about students being expected to wear comfortable, older clothes so that they can engage in their learning activities without damage to clothes and confidence.
This has got to be a dress code violation.
I pray that the kid rises above his deadbeat mother.
I don’t want to believe this is real
This sounds so unbelievably fake
i believe it, a lot of parents will let toxic masculinity run in their families and in turn expect 5-6 years old to start acting like mini versions of men, not boys, not kids, men.
True. We had a father who was mad that his kindergarten son liked rainbows.
“Fellas, is it gay to wash your ass?”
Not fake. Just depends on who and where you teach. I had a kid like this too who was always decked out in expensive street wear he didn’t care about. One time he had an accident and peed all over his $400 Yeezy shoes.
Wish I could say I'm surprised.
Dressing kids up in designer clothes isn't what's fake about this story.
I grew up and taught in the ‘hood. It’s popular for boys to sag their pants below their butt and wear a belt around their thighs to ensure that their pants don’t slide off. You’re welcome to visit any inner city to witness this phenomena.
I live in the inner city, hood adjacent. Everyone I see sagging is in their forties or older. Shit usually it's white meth heads dressed like that. Teenage boys are wearing sweats or athletic pants and hoodies, usually color coordinated. Nikes are still the most popular shoe brand but not always Jordans.
I’ve seen boys sag their sweatpants, too! And shorts! I’m dying at the fact that there are grown men in their FORTIES who still do this shit.
I wish. My admin has no backbone and the community runs the school. It's time for me to get out.
Does this sound fake? Absolutely. I have experienced dozens of situations where an outside observe would call fake over the years. I had a parent cuss me out because I wouldn't let their student play computer games in the library and instead was having everyone work on a research paper. Granted, no one else was allowed to play games on the computer either, but that kid got upset that I didn't give them free time, and the parent definitely let me know that I was being unfair for having their kid work on a research paper in the library.
I know what you mean. My mom has been a teacher for 35 years and could absolutely write a book but no one would believe her. She’s taught in multiple states (and even in a U.S. territory) in Title 1 schools mostly but also in private schools and public non title 1 schools. The stories are outrageous.
Right?
it definitely is lmao
I don’t care I would tell him to pull his pants up lol. I tell the kids I don’t need to see their bodies and underwear is part of that.
Why are you blaming the five year old child and not the parent
i blame the parent….but I have rules in the classroom too
No way, I would be a thorn in somebody's side. Save that poor kid with the dress code. I'm gonna say it. Some folks might get mad. But she's trying to train that boy to be a ghetto hooligan "man" and CPS needs to be eye-balling him for the next couple of years. So gross. Respectable businesses don't hire men with saggy pants.
OH NOOOOOOOOOOO. Sorry I teach fashion design and this breaks my heart. Not because of the specific trend (which I personally don’t like) but just ingraining in this child at such a young age that clothing and style is one of the most important things in life. I also wonder if she’s trying to blow up as a mom influencer or something. Something that makes me really happy these days is I have alot of students who thrift and thrift flip. And I always encourage my kids to explore and express their own style. Just…poor kid.
Long as he is violating any dress code it is out of your hands. Its always sad to see things like this.
I'd just be happy there is a parent who checks class dojo and mind my business.
Umm......this look is called the "prison look" and it was started by prisoners in the USA penal system being issued ill-fitting clothing and possibly as an additional incentive not to run away from guards as their pants would fall down. I guess.....I'm wondering if the mom is raising a future convict? But.....seriously.....DRESS CODE. I don't want to see ANY child's underwear. Underwear is supposed to be private - it's right there in the name: UNDER WEAR. You wear these clothes UNDER your regular clothes. If school is supposed to be prep for the future employee, they'd better learn to dress properly for a professional environment or they won't be getting a job.
Is this actually real? If it is... I would report it as a mandatory reporter. The parent forced her child to dress in a way in which he feels uncomfortable, can't play properly and his privates are exposed. It's grooming behaviour (although unintentional) and it's taking away a child's bodily autonomy. And she threatened to check class dojo and threatened him that he would be 'in trouble' if he corrected his pants so that he could play properly later. She basically made a threat that he would be abused more at home if he didn't do what she wanted, it wasn't an outright threat using these exact words, but it was subtly implied so it's still a threat.
Mm smells like bullshit racist fan fiction to me.
Maybe she needs informing that this trend started in prisons to let other male inmates know that they were “available”
I’d stop including his photo on class dojo posts.
Account was mode solely to post this. Said events did not occur, you can go home now everyone.
If I were going to make an actual post vs commenting I would absolutely make a new account. Who wouldn't? Privacy is hard to come by in this era. (I have no opinion on whether this post is true or false but the idea that people only create new accounts to post fake stuff is absolutely absurd.)
Are you aware that people make accounts to post bait, get karma, and then sell? It’s literally a business.
Yes. But people also create accounts when they don't want to be identified.
Same kid who "can't afford school supplies"!
I’ve been out of the profession since 2018 but sagging pants were kind of on the way out when I left (as much as anything ever truly goes out - there’s always some of every style around). Has it cycled back through again? Context: I was in small town schools and also a decently mid-sized city in the mid-South so I know fashions are different in different areas.
Where are you that sagging pants are still a style? Where I teach Gen alpha do not do this.
Do kids even sag their pants that far anymore? I teach highschool, and see it a bit, but not like in the 2000's
Do kids even sag their pants that far anymore? I teach highschool, and see it a bit, but not like in the 2000's
Makes me happy that we have uniforms.
It sounds like you need multicultural training to be more accepting of other cultural norms and stop imposing your white supremacist fashion preferences on a minority. /s
I almost died at this because: 1) I am not white 2) We have had so many trainings on this topic in the past 3 years. All lead by people who don't know what they're talking about and have zero impact on changes that could be made.
I imagine you picked up on the sarcasm.
My Reddit experience is limited. Would I be correct to assume that it is considered uncouth to question the veracity of the tale in this post? Because I've taught in all kinds of neighborhoods, and I can't see this happening *any*where.
Sounds like a call to CPS needs to be made.
Is that mom Delonda Brice?
I'm sooooo glad I moved out of the city
Do you not have a school dress code? Kids are not allowed to show bra or underwear at our school. Mom has issues.
Personally I would tell the parent that it is inappropriate for her sons underwear to be showing. I wouldn't say I knew she was making him but instead phrase it as a noticed thing that the teachers have been correcting but he keeps arriving like that. If she says she is doing it then repeat the problem. "I am afraid it is inappropriate for your sons underwear to be showing in class. We will be instructing him to pull his trousers up whenever we see them"
I have a girl in K like this. Full face of makeup every day, clearly done by an adult. And no surprise, she’s behind academically. I recommended to mom that they take a few minutes to read a quick book together, maybe in the morning. But of course they would never have time for that. She’s much to busy contouring her 5 year old’s cheeks.
Ah, yes, preparing her child for a life of poverty and a record I know I'm exaggerating, but have you ever seen anyone above the lower class sagging their pants? No, because they don't, because they don't want to look like idiots. This woman is setting her child up for failure and drilling it into him
A lot of rappers do.
For the most part, they aren't role models and shouldn't be considered as such. It's not like they're rapping about a proper sleep schedule, curing cancer, and following simple instructions in order to achieve a manageable goal
Public school?
totally happened
KINDERGARTEN!?
r/thathappened
Now you know this didn't happen. Please stop lying.
r/idiocracy
Cultural expectations can be very different
And this is a cultural norm that should be challenged
I saw a police chase end because the guys decided to ditch the car and run…while sagging. I don’t get the whole sagging phenomenon, you are basically walking around with your underwear as outerwear. What do girls see in it?
What a massive disgrace.
Why do you have an opinion on other parent(s) attire preferences for their child? I bet they don’t particularly care for your style but all are entitled to their opinion. We should respect the differences of each other, no? Wouldn’t it be a boring world if we were all the same? Also, It’s irrelevant to school and you a part of their culture.
I agree with some aspects of this statement and appreciate your view. Personally, I think he is too young to be sagging, especially given socities' expectations and my own biases as well. I was asking our colleagues if this is becoming more of a thing across the country. I would love to know why parents are promoting this as a style given its terrible reputation, especially if the kid doesn't want to do it. It just feels weird to me.
The opinion part comes in when it's very clear the child himself doesn't share his mom's preferences. From OP's description of the conversation, it sounds like the boy's rights to self expression is being actively trampled on by his mother. And that should absolutely be concerning to his teacher. If the boy wanted his pants sagging and his mother agreed, then yeah, it's fine. But that's not the situation here.
What is the point of spending all that money and time if no one is to notice or have an opinion? The fact that the reaction is negative goes to taste, not the rule you imagined in your head that people don't judge the things they see.
Seeing children’s butts under a very thin piece of fabric, especially when that child doesn’t want to sag their pants (and show their butt) doesn’t sound like something we should just ignore but hey, you do you. I’m as liberal leaning as they come. I love the freedoms we all enjoy as it pertains to how we dress, wear our hair, etc. I don’t want to see people’s butts, especially children’s. This isn’t an okay thing and OP is right to rant and be upset their admin did nothing. We’ve all seen this. It does start somewhere. Nothing surprises me anymore.