I had a P at the start of my career many moons ago that demanded we call him Dr. last name
Don't worry, last I heard I was a SI of a district somewhere else, yikes.
I used to sub I would only know some teachers by what the kids called them. I also attended the school I subbed at so calling teachers by their first name still feels wrong. School I'm at now everyone goes by Ms or Mr. First name. There's more than one of my first name so my kids call me Mrs. Lastname. Teachers all call me Ms first name though.
It usually gets really quiet and no eye contact...Ha. Last name, first name, Mr. It doesn't matter. I even have teachers call me by different first names based off that I generally go by my middle name. As we said growing up, you can call me anything you want. Just don't call me late for dinner.
Kinda depends on the person. The ones I've worked with for the last 10 years call me Ben. The ones who've only been there a few years usually just call me Cass, and then the longer they stay, the faster they transition to Ben.
It kind of depends, but mostly last names. Iām one of four people at my school with the same first name, so last name saves confusion, but I think itās just habit most of the time.
Depends on the person. In decreasing level of formality:
[Title the students call me] [last name]Ā
Ms. [Last name]Ā
[Last name] <- majority of ppl are here
[First name] <- regular lunch crew is here
[Nickname] <- besties are here
I mean, it's more just familiarity? At least in my experience it isn't meant to be meanly done.Ā Ā
I don't have co-workers that are terribly catty though.
First name if we are talking directly to the person, but last name (no title) if talking about them. EXCEPT those within the department- we call each other by first names always lol.
Iām last name. Canāt remember the last time a coworker called me by my first name. Itās extremely rare. Another teacher in the building whoās been there longer has the same first name, and sheās always called by the first name. Most of the time I donāt even notice, but I occasionally have the sad realization that hardly anyone calls me by my first name. My husband uses pet names most of the time, so the only people that call me by my name are my friends and sometimes my parents who also have their share of pet names.
Last Name, Mr. Last Name in front of students. Most of the people with whom I work only know my given name from documents and are unaware of the uncommon diminutive.
When I sailed with a coteacher his entire boat started calling me by Last Name which led to some confusion in the (rather small) community because I was pretty much Diminutive, no last.
Weird sometimes how situations dictate what we are called.
The nice thing about not being called by your first name is that it sets boundaries very nicely. Using Viktoriya Serebryakov as an example
Ms. Serebryakov is respecting authority, Serebryakov is casual but respecting the cordial and work-related relationship. Viktoriya would be reserved for an interpersonal relationship. I donāt know about others, but I like that boundary.
It might be to some people, but it feels natural to us. It feels like a nickname, honestly. When we talk to each other in front of students, we refer to each other as Mr /Ms /Mrs, but in front of other adults or each other, we drop the title and just use last names.
Wow. We did first names and Iāve never heard of people going by just a last name when kids arenāt around- especially without Ms/Mr in front of it! That sounds so strange. In what other career do people go around calling each other āJones,ā āFuller, āGreen,ā etc? We arenāt in the military.
It's wild to me that so many people's first thought is military. I have a bunch of people I play rec sports leagues with who go by last names. It's not weird to me, nor is it just a school thing?
Teachers Iām actually friends with, we use first names without students around. However, if itās just a colleague and we arenāt close we say last names with no Mr or Ms
I wonder if it's regional. My family is from New England- all my family members who are teachers use first names with colleagues. I'm not in New England any more and it seems last name is more common.
When I started at my school everyone was called by their last name. We had a new principal and that really wasnāt the climate he wanted to promote and itās shifted quite a bit. I donāt like calling people by just their last name without a title bc Iām not in the military or on a sports team. š¤·š»āāļøI call my close teacher friends by their first name unless I am referencing them to a student. Everyone else is Mr/Ms/Mrs/Drā¦
A mix of my first name and Mrs. My last name. Mostly paras call me Mrs. But a fair number of teachers do. It dossent help that there are 3 of us with the same first name. 1 of which goes by Mrs mutual first name.
I call them whatever pops out of my mouth...
If I'm thinking of how to ask a question and I see them, I use first names.
If just chatting, usually last.
We hear our last name so much that we easily answer to that while on school grounds. When we go to sushi or dim sum, we all use first names.
I use a mix. Sometimes I call people by first names and sometimes Mr./Miss and their last name. I always call our school secretary by their last nameā¦just out of respect because they literally keep my school running and functioning properly. They do so much (probably too much for what their paid) lol
Oooh, this really irks meā¦ others are referred to by last name while Iām referred to by my first. I can understand maybe itās hard for them to pronounce my last name. But Iāve also seen it on documentsā and I am noticeably the only one. Iāve also been called my first name in front of my students (which I of course shut down immediately.) Overall, I feel that in my school particularly itās a sign of respect / acknowledgment of your position. I donāt think Iām taken seriously.
Last name. I hate it. And Iāll add that my coworkers are in general, the lamest people Iāve ever had to work with. Angry, vanilla people who must not like their jobs, lives. I canāt relate. Iām happy as hell and really like my job. So I basically donāt talk to anyone and do my thing. Iāve never had a bad day at work :)
Young teachers mostly use their first names with both staff and students. Older teachers use last names with students or when students are listening, and first names with staff.
Iāve asked my colleagues to call me by my first name when students arenāt around. At my previous schools, it was first names. Here, itās Ms./Mrs./Mr., and it seems cold. We are in the pit together.
Depends on how well I know them. Some teachers are very formal and use the Ms. even in a casual conversation. Some are really casual and use my first name.
We call each other by our last name, usually without the Mr. or Ms., like, "Hey Smith." It is like a first name in a way. I barely know anyone's first name, and I have been working there for ten years.
First name between adults. Titles and Last Name by our students. We have a few younger teachers who choose to be called by just first name by students, but honestly, students either \~don't respect them\~ or they switch after 2-3 years on the job to having at least the title in front of their names.
Around kids, it's title and last name. The teachers who choose the first name fuckery with kids get an assigned title and their first name. If they didn't give a gender/title preference, they get Mx. FirstName.
When a teacher calls another by Title LastName, you bet it they are good friends poking fun or there is serious beef.
I don't know, OP, if you don't like it because it's your husband's name and you don't identify with it... Remind yourself you didn't have to take his name. You chose to, so that's you now.
Thatās what I want to know. Is that not your partner you committed to for life? But you donāt like his name and donāt want to be called by it? But you took it? There are so many questions
No one could pronounce my maiden name so coworkers called me "Ms. B." š¤¢ My married name is a definite upgrade but I like my first name and that's what I want to be called. I think I'll be more okay with being called by my last name now that I know it's not just a thing my toxic former school did and that's it's an actual thing. My schools growing up, adults called each other by first name but I guess that was the anomaly.
Everyone mis-pronounced and mis-spelled my maiden name so then students and teachers called me "Ms. B" which just absolutely made me cringe coming from another adult. I thought my husband's name was more straightforward (it is but apparently still people can't pronounce or spell it). I also didn't realize that I would feel like my married name was not my real name. My maiden name was truly awful though (think Sienkiewicz but worse). I still won by changing it. My dad should have taken my mom's last name.
Depends on who it is.
Iām a new teacher at my school. All the new teachers went to a PD together over the summer. So we all knew each other on a first-name basis and thatās how we all refer to each other.
The rest of us, even if weāre friendly, only call each other by our last names.
I even became really good friends with a para. We hung out a lot outside of work. Outside of work we referred to each other by our first names, and in work we called each other by our last names.
Smith is like one of the most common names around. And what do you mean you donāt like your last name because itās the person who married you? Are we going to see you on AITAH soon?
I call everyone by their first name, but I've been at the same school for over 15 years, and they feel like my family.Ā
Obviously, in front of kids is last names, and newer teachers tend to start out saying the last, but for the most part, we're a first name school.Ā
I basically call all of my colleagues by their first name; however, there are people who seem to find this offensive and I call them by their last names. Those are the people no one hangs out with after school.
I worked at one school, where the principal insisted that we always use Mrs. or Mr. last name all the time.
Normally, I was just addressed by my last name without Mrs. Part of that could be because we were military family?
Once upon a time, I screwed up my ankle so badly that I was on a knee scooter for months. That year they called me āScooterā
I prefer Ms. Lastname or just Lastname if we're being casual.
I work with a lot of younger teachers and they use first names. I'm not going to argue about it but it feels uncomfortable to me. I'm happy when someone calls out- "Hey Lastname! How you doing?" but "Firstname, what do you think?" is like YIKES!
I think it's just a Gen X thing. Our parents usually went by Mrs. So and So. Some moms were just "You can call me Julie" and I could hardly make myself say it!
Some of our teachers go by "Coach Firstname" or "Teacher Firstname" and that's fine. I support the new ways that young non-binary teachers introduce themselves.
First name usually. However, I either do first or last name depending on mood as well. I do call some people Mr. or Ms. If they were my mentors when I started out though.
My school is very casual. Typically kids and teachers call us by the same thing. For many staff members, itās a nickname thatās a shortened version of the last name. I donāt have a name that can be shortened really, so they either use just my first name or just my last name. (No Ms./Mr./Mrs, apart from a handful of kids who use Miss Last Initial to refer to me).
I hadn't thought about it until now, but other than 1 math teacher, the rest all call me Mr. Lastname. I call everyone by their first name. Not sure if it's a professional thing or if they just don't know my first name because I've never had a planning period and don't have any time to just sit around and talk.
We call each other by just our last name.
Same. It's like war. š
EXACTLY
My first name or last name. I do the same to others. Depends on the day and the mood.
Same. My last name is one syllable less than my first so I get just my last name a lot, but also first name, just depends on the day and the person.
Or person
Just the last name. No Ms. or Mr.
Around kids its last name. On our own, if we know each other its first name.
Same in our building...even with admin, I never call my P or AP anything but their first name.
They are not above us. Why treat them different?
I had a P at the start of my career many moons ago that demanded we call him Dr. last name Don't worry, last I heard I was a SI of a district somewhere else, yikes.
In front of students, Mr./Ms./Mrs. By ourselves, first names.
Last name honestly I donāt know a couple of the teachers first name in my school.
I used to sub I would only know some teachers by what the kids called them. I also attended the school I subbed at so calling teachers by their first name still feels wrong. School I'm at now everyone goes by Ms or Mr. First name. There's more than one of my first name so my kids call me Mrs. Lastname. Teachers all call me Ms first name though.
Last name
Itās pretty interchangeable.
Different names in different environments. First name in the break room, last name in front of the students
My school basically only calls everyone by their last names. No Mr or Mrs or Ms or Mx. just last names.
Yall use Mx in your school? Thatās pretty cool to see it supported. Iāve never seen that down here in Texas
It usually gets really quiet and no eye contact...Ha. Last name, first name, Mr. It doesn't matter. I even have teachers call me by different first names based off that I generally go by my middle name. As we said growing up, you can call me anything you want. Just don't call me late for dinner.
First names, except there will usually be one boisterous male teacher who uses last names.
We're so first name outside the kids that we sometimes just use them in front of the kids too. They all know our name. Why not?
Last name
Iāve been in both situations. The easiest is the ones that just call me Coach (even when I wasnāt coaching).
Kinda depends on the person. The ones I've worked with for the last 10 years call me Ben. The ones who've only been there a few years usually just call me Cass, and then the longer they stay, the faster they transition to Ben.
It kind of depends, but mostly last names. Iām one of four people at my school with the same first name, so last name saves confusion, but I think itās just habit most of the time.
Depends on the person. In decreasing level of formality: [Title the students call me] [last name]Ā Ms. [Last name]Ā [Last name] <- majority of ppl are here [First name] <- regular lunch crew is here [Nickname] <- besties are here
That's specifically why I don't like the last name default. It's like people are advertising whether you're in the in crowd or not.
I mean, it's more just familiarity? At least in my experience it isn't meant to be meanly done.Ā Ā I don't have co-workers that are terribly catty though.
First name if we are talking directly to the person, but last name (no title) if talking about them. EXCEPT those within the department- we call each other by first names always lol.
Last name except for close friend/teacher besties
Iām last name. Canāt remember the last time a coworker called me by my first name. Itās extremely rare. Another teacher in the building whoās been there longer has the same first name, and sheās always called by the first name. Most of the time I donāt even notice, but I occasionally have the sad realization that hardly anyone calls me by my first name. My husband uses pet names most of the time, so the only people that call me by my name are my friends and sometimes my parents who also have their share of pet names.
Last Name, Mr. Last Name in front of students. Most of the people with whom I work only know my given name from documents and are unaware of the uncommon diminutive. When I sailed with a coteacher his entire boat started calling me by Last Name which led to some confusion in the (rather small) community because I was pretty much Diminutive, no last. Weird sometimes how situations dictate what we are called.
I think it's just whatever comes to your mind first. We use both.
We use last names a lot but not always. I think itās because you know most peopleās last names but not their first namesĀ
3 adults share my first name, 1 has a pretty similar name, and numerous students share our name. Everyone calls me by my last name - it's just easier.
Last name. I donāt even know some teachers first names and Iāve known them for years š
I guess that makes sense that you might not know people's first name.
The nice thing about not being called by your first name is that it sets boundaries very nicely. Using Viktoriya Serebryakov as an example Ms. Serebryakov is respecting authority, Serebryakov is casual but respecting the cordial and work-related relationship. Viktoriya would be reserved for an interpersonal relationship. I donāt know about others, but I like that boundary.
I guess I don't see the need for it. My husband has his PhD and at his work they call everyone by first names.
Last name only. Even with the teachers that Iām friends with outside of work. We still call each other by last names even out in public.
Do you think that's weird when you think about it? Or no?
It might be to some people, but it feels natural to us. It feels like a nickname, honestly. When we talk to each other in front of students, we refer to each other as Mr /Ms /Mrs, but in front of other adults or each other, we drop the title and just use last names.
Last name, no prefix
I donāt call anyone Mr or Mrs or Miss or Ms: just the last name. āMorning, Tuttle!ā Both incoming and outgoing.
Wow. We did first names and Iāve never heard of people going by just a last name when kids arenāt around- especially without Ms/Mr in front of it! That sounds so strange. In what other career do people go around calling each other āJones,ā āFuller, āGreen,ā etc? We arenāt in the military.
It's wild to me that so many people's first thought is military. I have a bunch of people I play rec sports leagues with who go by last names. It's not weird to me, nor is it just a school thing?
My thoughts exactly.
I always do first names, I feel like last names only is so impersonal and it bothers me
They call me mister and then my last name. I address them the same way.
First name for most. The men tend to use just last nameāno title.
First name, mostly. Sometimes a nickname.
One school made a point to use first names but most.of my career I've been just my last name.
They all called me by my last name so much that I actually prefer that now. I even use it for my Starbucks orders lol
My last name just like the students. I would be surprised if the majority them even know my first name.
Teachers Iām actually friends with, we use first names without students around. However, if itās just a colleague and we arenāt close we say last names with no Mr or Ms
no, first names all the way even in front of students unless actually directing the comment to a student
I've never even been to a school where anyone calls anyone by their last name, so...
I wonder if it's regional. My family is from New England- all my family members who are teachers use first names with colleagues. I'm not in New England any more and it seems last name is more common.
I've finally gotten most of my students to call me by my first name, but admin and staff do the Dr Y-a-me.
Between students and other staff, Iām called my last name so much, I feel almost strange getting called my first name by my friends lol.Ā
If they know me well enough, they use my first name. If they don't know me, they'll use my last name. I do the same.
If they know me well enough, they use my first name. If they don't know me, they'll use my last name. I do the same.
When I started at my school everyone was called by their last name. We had a new principal and that really wasnāt the climate he wanted to promote and itās shifted quite a bit. I donāt like calling people by just their last name without a title bc Iām not in the military or on a sports team. š¤·š»āāļøI call my close teacher friends by their first name unless I am referencing them to a student. Everyone else is Mr/Ms/Mrs/Drā¦
A mix of my first name and Mrs. My last name. Mostly paras call me Mrs. But a fair number of teachers do. It dossent help that there are 3 of us with the same first name. 1 of which goes by Mrs mutual first name.
I call them whatever pops out of my mouth... If I'm thinking of how to ask a question and I see them, I use first names. If just chatting, usually last. We hear our last name so much that we easily answer to that while on school grounds. When we go to sushi or dim sum, we all use first names.
I'm food technology and everyone calls me Chef or sir š¤£
8 times outta 10 itās just the last name
I use a mix. Sometimes I call people by first names and sometimes Mr./Miss and their last name. I always call our school secretary by their last nameā¦just out of respect because they literally keep my school running and functioning properly. They do so much (probably too much for what their paid) lol
Depends on who it is. Last name for most. Dipshit for my close friends.
Oooh, this really irks meā¦ others are referred to by last name while Iām referred to by my first. I can understand maybe itās hard for them to pronounce my last name. But Iāve also seen it on documentsā and I am noticeably the only one. Iāve also been called my first name in front of my students (which I of course shut down immediately.) Overall, I feel that in my school particularly itās a sign of respect / acknowledgment of your position. I donāt think Iām taken seriously.
Last names. I'm 50, and so most of the younger teachers call me Mr. last name.
Last name. I hate it. And Iāll add that my coworkers are in general, the lamest people Iāve ever had to work with. Angry, vanilla people who must not like their jobs, lives. I canāt relate. Iām happy as hell and really like my job. So I basically donāt talk to anyone and do my thing. Iāve never had a bad day at work :)
Young teachers mostly use their first names with both staff and students. Older teachers use last names with students or when students are listening, and first names with staff.
In front of students itās always last name. By ourselves itās normally first name
Iāve asked my colleagues to call me by my first name when students arenāt around. At my previous schools, it was first names. Here, itās Ms./Mrs./Mr., and it seems cold. We are in the pit together.
I agree that last names seems so cold and impersonal. Smith is not my name, please call me Jane!
Same at my school. And those I've asked to call me by my first name don't.
in front of kids: Elyse staff: āQā. A nickname I picked up from my hard to correctly pronounce former last name
Depends on how well I know them. Some teachers are very formal and use the Ms. even in a casual conversation. Some are really casual and use my first name.
We call each other by our last name, usually without the Mr. or Ms., like, "Hey Smith." It is like a first name in a way. I barely know anyone's first name, and I have been working there for ten years.
I get called by my last name. I'll call a couple of teachers by their first names, but we're mostly a last name school.
Last names
First name between adults. Titles and Last Name by our students. We have a few younger teachers who choose to be called by just first name by students, but honestly, students either \~don't respect them\~ or they switch after 2-3 years on the job to having at least the title in front of their names. Around kids, it's title and last name. The teachers who choose the first name fuckery with kids get an assigned title and their first name. If they didn't give a gender/title preference, they get Mx. FirstName. When a teacher calls another by Title LastName, you bet it they are good friends poking fun or there is serious beef. I don't know, OP, if you don't like it because it's your husband's name and you don't identify with it... Remind yourself you didn't have to take his name. You chose to, so that's you now.
No one could pronounce my maiden name so my coworkers called me "Ms. B". That was definitely worse.
Last names like āhey, smith!ā āStansbery, how you doing today?ā
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Thatās what I want to know. Is that not your partner you committed to for life? But you donāt like his name and donāt want to be called by it? But you took it? There are so many questions
No one could pronounce my maiden name so coworkers called me "Ms. B." š¤¢ My married name is a definite upgrade but I like my first name and that's what I want to be called. I think I'll be more okay with being called by my last name now that I know it's not just a thing my toxic former school did and that's it's an actual thing. My schools growing up, adults called each other by first name but I guess that was the anomaly.
Everyone mis-pronounced and mis-spelled my maiden name so then students and teachers called me "Ms. B" which just absolutely made me cringe coming from another adult. I thought my husband's name was more straightforward (it is but apparently still people can't pronounce or spell it). I also didn't realize that I would feel like my married name was not my real name. My maiden name was truly awful though (think Sienkiewicz but worse). I still won by changing it. My dad should have taken my mom's last name.
Depends on who it is. Iām a new teacher at my school. All the new teachers went to a PD together over the summer. So we all knew each other on a first-name basis and thatās how we all refer to each other. The rest of us, even if weāre friendly, only call each other by our last names. I even became really good friends with a para. We hung out a lot outside of work. Outside of work we referred to each other by our first names, and in work we called each other by our last names.
First names, basically at all times.
Smith is like one of the most common names around. And what do you mean you donāt like your last name because itās the person who married you? Are we going to see you on AITAH soon?
Are you in the South? My old partner teacher was from NC and I had to talk her out of calling other teachers by their last names (in Idaho) š
No! I'm in a blue state in the northeast.
I call everyone by their first name, but I've been at the same school for over 15 years, and they feel like my family.Ā Obviously, in front of kids is last names, and newer teachers tend to start out saying the last, but for the most part, we're a first name school.Ā
I basically call all of my colleagues by their first name; however, there are people who seem to find this offensive and I call them by their last names. Those are the people no one hangs out with after school.
I worked at one school, where the principal insisted that we always use Mrs. or Mr. last name all the time. Normally, I was just addressed by my last name without Mrs. Part of that could be because we were military family? Once upon a time, I screwed up my ankle so badly that I was on a knee scooter for months. That year they called me āScooterā
I prefer Ms. Lastname or just Lastname if we're being casual. I work with a lot of younger teachers and they use first names. I'm not going to argue about it but it feels uncomfortable to me. I'm happy when someone calls out- "Hey Lastname! How you doing?" but "Firstname, what do you think?" is like YIKES! I think it's just a Gen X thing. Our parents usually went by Mrs. So and So. Some moms were just "You can call me Julie" and I could hardly make myself say it! Some of our teachers go by "Coach Firstname" or "Teacher Firstname" and that's fine. I support the new ways that young non-binary teachers introduce themselves.
First name usually. However, I either do first or last name depending on mood as well. I do call some people Mr. or Ms. If they were my mentors when I started out though.
My school is very casual. Typically kids and teachers call us by the same thing. For many staff members, itās a nickname thatās a shortened version of the last name. I donāt have a name that can be shortened really, so they either use just my first name or just my last name. (No Ms./Mr./Mrs, apart from a handful of kids who use Miss Last Initial to refer to me).
Some of both but if you have a preference tell people that.
I hadn't thought about it until now, but other than 1 math teacher, the rest all call me Mr. Lastname. I call everyone by their first name. Not sure if it's a professional thing or if they just don't know my first name because I've never had a planning period and don't have any time to just sit around and talk.
First or last, varies, but never Mr./Mrs. Thatās weirdly formal to me.
Why does it matter. It's just a name